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Weights and measures

The nerdy little rodent starred hard at the small black writing on the page. Forcing his beady little eyes to focus on it, Toby was studying hard for his anatomy finals. Glancing up at the clock of the wall he saw that it was well past one 'o'clock. When he glanced back down at the page... the small black letters had ran together into unreadable squiggles. So the exhausted little mouse starred instead at the illustration... a well drawn look at the insides of a males genitals. He studied the colored drawing for a long moment, then summons his will power and focused his eyes on the text once again. But his concentration was broken almost instantly by a loud bang against the wall. Toby shook his head and did his best to ignore the noises as they grew louder. But at last the shouting voices and banging against the wall got the best of him. Standing up he crossed the room and yanked the door open looking out into the hall. Sure enough it was exactly what he'd been expecting... a group of drunken Frat boys arguing and shouting. But what were they doing in this building... that was the real question. Most of them were big preds and they were all wearing sports jerseys of some kind. The mouse wasn't sure what team they were on... he hated sports anyway. Taking a lull in the shouting the Mouse shouted as forcefully as he was able.

"Ahem... whats going on here?" The drunken Frat guys paused and looked at the small mouse standing in the door of the lab. The big jocks froze and starred at the small rodent for a long moment, so inebriated they couldn't think of a reply for a moment.

"Ahhhhh hey professor..." A big golden maned Lion grunted at last coming out of his intoxicated stupor.

"I'm not a..." Toby started to correct the big feline but was cut off as the big jock hurried on.

"We need ya to settle a bet for us..." The Lion gestured to a big black Boar and a sleek roan red equine.

"Oh... and what bet is that?" Toby asked hoping it would be an easy answer, so that he could send the drunken idiots on their way. And get back to studying as quickly as possible.

"Who's got the bigger balls?" The Boar snorted cutting the Lion off.

"Yeah... thats why we came up to the pre-med buildin'..." The little mouse rolled his eyes... it was such a stupid, drunken Frat guy question.

"Well by species..." Toby started only to be shushed by the Horse's girlfriend.

"We aint interested in that..." The Roan stallion whinnied in explanation as he girlfriend snuggled close.

"Yeah we wanta know which one of US has got the biggest ball!" The golden maned Lion cut back in. Toby looked at the group and frowned, clearly he wasn't going to get out of this easily. And the last thing he wanted to do, was spent the next twenty minutes feeling up a bunch of sweaty jock crotches. So he quickly made up his mind to make the testing so unpleasant they would just forget it.

"Ok... well I'd have to take them out and examine them scientifically." Toby answered gravely, like he was taking the whole matter seriously.

"Ok!" The big jocks agreed pushing down their sweat pants and underwear to let their proud flop out into view. Toby gawked at their casual display of public nudity. Clearly this was going to be much more difficult than he'd expected, so he racketed it up a notch.

"Well to truly weight and measure them... I'd have to take them out of their sacks!" The little Mouse explained as the group of drunken jock stood gaping at him in confusion for a moment.

"Aaaa what?" The Horse grunted as it dawned on him what the Mouse was saying. "Ahem... I don't think..." Clearly he wasn't happy with the idea of letting the mouse cut his ball's out. But then the big Boar beside him snickered making the rest of the jock guffaw.

"See panty waste knows he's going to lose!" The big Hog snorted ribbing the Horse whose girlfriend instantly whinnied loudly.

"Like hell... he's got both you guys beat and you know it!" Toby winced this was not working out at all like he'd expected it to.

"Thats crap bitch..." The Lion's Tigress girlfriend swore. "My males got all... you all whipped!" The Horse pushed Toby back into the lab and the whole group entered.

"Ya got everything ya need here right?" The big Boar, apparently the only one without a girlfriend, asked as the group looked around drunkenly. Toby frown as he looked around the lab... there were scales and Caliper. And he knew how to secretly get into the supply room for scalpels and syringes. 'He could really do it!'

"Ahem sure just let me get a few things from the supply room." Toby answered, and quickly hurried off. Wondering if he was really going to do it, or if he should just hide in the supply room until they left. But then his keen rodent ears picked of the jocks and their cheerleader girlfriends laughing about him. Slipping into the supply room he quickly grabbed a pawful of syringes a bottle of local pain killer and a scalpel. When he got back the Lion, Boar and Horse had they're naked junk resting on the steel cadaver table. Quickly he gave them each a shot of Novocaine in they're big over stuffed sacks. Then gathered the digital Scales and organ Calipers as well as a half dozen specimen jars full of alcohol. And a pawful of adhesive numbers that he'd seen laying in a desk draw.

"Ok time to see who's the biggest boi!" Toby announced when he returned taking the scalpel out of its package.

"Alright!" The group yelled excitedly.

"Yer goin' down!" The big black Boar promised, as the little Mouse smirked thinking they were all going down! Swiftly Toby split open the Lion's fat sack, grinning as those heft male orb's spilled out. Quickly he clamped off the tubes and cords and cut them... the big golden feline watched shocked as he huge ball dropped off!

"Wha..." He started to grunt, but Toby interrupted quickly.

"Gotta have them all the way off to weight them fairly... we wouldn't want anyone cheating!" The little Mouse assured drawing a rousing agreement from the group. But Toby had already moved on to the red Horse splitting his sac and removing those big nuts as well! Drawing a sickened whimper from the big equine, even as his girlfriend played with them. Finally the Boar's fat nuts dropped out onto the table and were dissevered. "Now we'll see!" The little mouse promised lifting and measuring the dissevered junk with the Caliper... Then weighting each set on the electronic Scales, before dropping them into the alcohol fill specimen jars and screwing the lids on tightly. Then he peeled the numbers off their backing paper and placed one on each jar. "Ok...ok... first place at seven inches circumference and twenty eight ounces goes to..." He pick up a jar with a huge set of testicles floating in it. They had belonged to the Boar and were clearly the biggest. "Mr stud himself..." He handed the jar with a big gold number one on it to the roan gelding.

"Ooooooooo" The crowd of watching drunks muttered in awe, as the sick looking horse and his smiling girlfriend took the jar. Parading it around the room proudly...

"Second place!" Toby shouted quieting them down again as he held up the second jar with the Lion's big orbs in it. "At six point nine five circumference and twenty three ounces goes to..." The Mouse handed the jar with a big white number two on it to the Boar... "The big pig on campus!" Again the watching drunken crowd cheered wildly as the Boar took the jar and held it up. "And sadly last and certainly lest..." Toby took the jar with the roan's ball's with a black number three on it and handed it to the handsome Lion. Who was clearly looking less than happy... but not as displeased as the Tigress. The crowd was laughing and jeering at the Lion now... as Toby loaded up a half dozen more syringes. And looked around at the rest of the Frat jocks... "Hey why don't we see who else is a bigger stud than Lion boy here..." Toby coaxed grinning as the rest of the group quickly clamored forwards to lay their junk on the table...

***

"NNNAAAGGGA." The big Boar awoke with a snort and sat up groggily. His head throbbing and his mouth tasting like something had crawled in it took a dump and then died!

"Dude... what the fuck are theses?" Jason his Bull roommate grunted... picked up a glass jar and shaking it. The two pale bloodless lemon shaped lumps inside of it bounced around wildly.

"What the hell have you got?" Dorian the Boar grunted looking at the jar and its strange cargo.

"Dunno but its number two of something..." Jason grunted turning the jar so the Boar could see the number stuck to it. The big Boar starred at the jar and its strange contents for a long moment. Trying to remember what all had happened the night before... As he did so becoming aware of an ache in his groin, reaching down absently the big Pig fondled himself. Then grunted in shock quickly standing up... as the Bull watched. Dorian shoved down his short and saw the ragged wound on his deflated ball sack!

"Oh my Gods!"

"Hahaha Dude!" Jason roared with laughter as the Boar examined his empty sack! "OMG... those are your BALLS!" The big Bull laughed as the big Pig looked confused and shocked. "OMG you totally let someone cut your balls off..." The big Bull giggled shaking the jar again as the big black Boar looked stunned and humiliated. "I can't believe it... I can't believe you let..." The big Bull's words stopped abruptly, as Dorian reached down and picked up a second jar that had a number four on it!

"If those are mine... then who's are these?" The Boar snorted amused as the Bull suddenly shoved down his own underwear...

"Oh My Gods!" "What the fuck happened lastnite!?!"

FIN