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Candlefrog

-a grrside story-

“...We shall now begin." The figure clad in a dark cloak announced after lighting up an eerie blue flame. “Show those Transmorphic frogs how little they're worth..." The hood obscuring his sadistic grin may have given him an unnecessarily eerie look but this strange man wasn't part of a cult of the dark arts. Nothing further from the truth. He was actually an instructor, not too different from a teacher, and the finality of the entire ritual wasn't about summoning demons from the underworld, it was just a standardized test.

Inside the doors of Castlehill Magic Academy all these smoke and mirrors were an everyday sight. Since the major awakening of magic-users two decades ago, Magic Arts was the most sought-after degree on every curriculum.

I was very aware of this fact. Being in my mid-twenties in this ever-changing world had taken a serious toll on me. It was near impossible to get a decent job these days without a magic degree, most public schools honed people's elementary magic skills from a very early age but I hadn't been so lucky. If only I had been born 15 years later instead of right before the worldwide magical revolution then I'd have received a more proper education. My enrollment in Castlehill was almost forced upon me lest I wanted to remain an 'Inept' forever (using this word to refer to a person with no magical skills at all had become derogatory over time until it basically became an insult. It was basically a synonym for 'useless bag of shit'.)

I had just heard the dark hooded teacher announce the start of the test. But something didn't feel quite right. I felt tired and sleepy, and I couldn't retrace the steps I had taken this morning with clarity. Last night I hadn't been able to sleep at all, so I guess that must've been the reason. I remember staying up very late studying, worried about embarrassing myself at the practical test. But I felt like I was forgetting something... Something really important...

I could hear the frogs ribbiting like mad. Yeah, that's right, the frogs... There were lots of them and they were crying incessantly at a very loud volume. This test used frogs as targeting practice and their annoying cries didn't help me put my thoughts straight at all.

“Don't be merciful just because they look dumb and silly. If you don't transform them into something really outlandish you won't get a good grade. Remember, Ki is sadistic as fuck..." I heard my friend, Travis, whisper to another one of the apprentices. Well, Travis wasn't really that much of a friend, but he was the usual nice guy that everybody enjoys having around. Besides, he's much more versed in the magic arts than I am so I always made sure to stick by him in case I learned something useful. But no dice. While my fellow students had been making great progress I hadn't been able to cast a single magic spell in the whole year so far. I was so afraid of being outed as the biggest Inept of the class so I pulled up an all-nighter practising. What happened afterwards was still foggy as hell. I tried hard to remember but I only managed to make my headache worse.

The frogs were set up on top of individual desks. At first glance their tiny green limbs seemed to be nailed to the wooden surface, but that would've been too harsh on the poor desks. Actually, our instructor, Ki, was binding the frogs on the spot with magic. Such was his magic power that willing all those incorporeal nails into existence was something he could do blindfolded. Beside every single magically bounded frog was a small piece of paper with a number jotted down on it.

The little amphibians, whose exposed bodies were being immobilized by means that they couldn't comprehend, were scared shitless and wouldn't stop ribbiting in utter panic. They might have very well been begging to us, screaming for mercy, but that would've been silly considering the poor sods couldn't possibly be aware of the sour fate that awaited them. They were actually very lucky to be left in the cold about their destiny if you thought about it.

Talking about cold, today was specially chilly. Had they forgotten to light up the boiler of the academy once again? I was freezing my ass off and my shoulders were stiff. The twenty or so apprentice mages whose accident-prone spellcasting was about to transmute the frogs in grotesque ways were all wearing the same red practice robes, so why they weren't feeling nearly as chilly as me?

“I've always wondered why they call these 'Transmorphic' frogs..." An apprentice whispered to another. “They look like just regular toads to me."

I thought he had made a good point, but Ki overhead the whispering and butted into the conversation. “Sam, your Ineptitude never fails to amaze me. 'Regular toads'? You don't need to be a biologist to know these frogs are... special."

The way he muttered the word 'special' made it look like he didn't mean it in the positive sense of the word. As if these particular frogs had a really big handicap compared to regular frogs.

“I'm sure even an Inept knows that all adult frogs used to be tadpoles. Their repugnant four-legged forms as you see here are supposed to be the last stage of their metamorphosis, but Transmorphic frogs have a particular DNA regression... You could say they're so stubborn they never let go of their innate metamorphosis capability."

“Wow!" Sam exclaimed. “Does that mean they can transform at will?"

Ki let out a very long, forced laugh. “Hah... Not at all. If that were the case they'd have been long discovered before the awakening of magic. But their stravagant nature makes them easier to transform into new forms even at low magic levels. That's why we use them as targeting practice. They're like beginner putty. Much easier to sculpt than regular well-formed animals."

Wow, so these sad fellows are naturally inclined to have their forms screwed with. They're certainly unlucky.

In any case, Ki had already lit up the first blue flame (Ki had this habit, he preferred to use these magical flames as timers instead of carrying the traditional hourglass around), and so the first adult apprentice who yearned to break free from his curse of Ineptitude took a step forward. The man seemed confident in his spellcasting abilities as he faced the poor frog who had the unfortunate privilege of having a piece of paper with the number “1" scribbled on right next to its green body.

Our numbers were assigned yesterday, weren't they? My number was... Mmm... 15. Yes, that's right, I clearly remember Ki telling me that I was going to be number 15.

Which meant I could still relax myself for a little while. Maybe I could learn something useful by observing how the other students casted their own spells. Being able to take note of what worked and what didn't was a great advantage over everyone else. I smiled to myself.

We were free to choose what we would turn the frogs into. But we knew very well that Ki liked the most hideous and creative transformations. Of course, actually managing to transform the frog into whatever you intended to also was an important factor.

“I'll make a delicious frog soufflé out of this bugger! Just watch me!" The apprentice boasted. He put his finger on top of the frog's head, closed his eyes and for a bit, he just concentrated deeply and nothing happened.

“Is he casting a spell or taking a dump?" Travis joked.

But then there were lots of audible gasps among the apprentices... The frog's head was slowly inflating!

It was a mesmerizing sight. The frog's bald head was increasing in size every second, as if an invisible air pump was inflating it through its mouth. The frog's eyes were also bulging out along with the rest of his head. Its eyes were darting in all directions and its ribbiting became higher-pitched. Everyone came closer to see. I imagined the little green person asking them “hey, what's so fucking funny about my face?".

One of the apprentices asked: “Doesn't it smell very good in here?, and I realized I could smell it, too. It smelled like a delicious French dessert.

To everyone's shock, the smell was coming to the frog with the inflated head. His head wasn't just inflating... it was also cooking itself! The green guy was being transformed into a soufflé from the neck up!

In a sharp contrast to everyone's good compliments about the smell, the frog-soufflé was ribbiting in pain. It had to be, because its head wasn't just blowing up... it was inside an invisible oven! Holy fuck, the frog's head was being cooked alive!

“Ribbit...Ribbit...!!!" The frog cried out with a high-pitched screech. Its head was almost completely reshaped into a soufflé.

The apprentice was staring at the frog with the pastry head with fierce intensity. “Almost... there..."

“Ribbit...Riiiiibbiiiiiit!" The frog was deeply in pain. Its brain was being stretched to its limit.

“Just a tiny bit... More...."

“Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-!!!"

SPLAT!

The entire room got filled with the splattered remains of a squishy green mass.

“Yuck!"

“Disgusting!"

“What the...? How could this happen?!" The apprentice's mouth hung agape. There on desk number 1 lay the motionless corpse of a frog, its head completely missing. The soufflé had exploded.

The hooded man, Ki, moved towards the tiny corpse. “Umph, I'm not exactly a coroner, but looking at your... “French cuisine", I'd say the frog's own high-pitched cries were the reason for its untimely demise."

Without saying a word, Ki inserted a black gloved finger inside the blowed out remains of the frog's head and then to the utter surprise of the apprentices he put his finger inside his hood and a loud slurping sound could be heard.

“...What a shame. It was about to be done into perfection, but you overcook the whole thing. You fail."

The apprentice's shoulders hung down in disappointment. “It was the fucking frog's fault!" He remarked, pointing at the decapitated body.

The blue flame that Kid had lit up was no more. Ki snapped his fingers and a broom and a dustpan came through the door. Nobody was holding them.

“Please, get rid of all the mess."

The inanimate pair nodded in compliance and began to quickly clean up the remains of the “soufflé" from the room, removing the decapitated corpse from the table and storing the brain cells they encountered along the way inside trash bags. In less than minute, everything was sparkling clean.

Ki however wasn't satisfied. “I said *ALL* the mess." He pointed to the apprentice, whose robes were still full of goo from the brain-dead amphibian.

The magical broom and dustpan glanced at each other. It wasn't hard to imagine they were grinning in delight about what they were about to do.

“Uh, what... Why are they looking at me that way?"

The failed wizard apprentice took a step backwards. Big mistake. The dustbin placed itself right behind his legs and made him trip. Before he had time to get up, the broom jumped on top of him and began scrubbing all the dirt from his robes away.

“Hahaha, stop! That tickles! Hahaha! No, stop!"

Unfortunately, the sticky goop didn't come out easily, and so the sentient broom silently declared that the apprentice's clothes in their entirely were part of the mess. The broom stuck its wooden end below the red practice robes and lifted them up in the air. The entire room was filled with laughter when the apprentice ended up in his tighty whities.

“Arrgghh! Don't look at me!" He said covering his hairy chest. The broom tapped his underwear, its pointy wooden end casually brushing against his genitals in the process. The dustpan looked up at him defiantly, asking for him to please deposit the rest of the “mess" in an amicable manner... or *else*.

He clutched at his last piece of clothing with shaking hands. “Oh, no... Certainly not that!" He yelled at the inanimate duo and stormed out running through the hallways. Outside, more laughter could be heard, as well as the exposed apprentice's cries of pain as the broom pursuing him spanked his bottom. The examination room was filled with joyful laughter, everyone already forgetting about the brutal 'froggicide'. And I'm a bit ashamed to admit I chuckled a bit as well. I mean, watching that prude get his ass handed to him by an inanimate object was too hilarious to be lamenting the death of some random critter.

“That little skit certainly costed us quite a bit of our time." Ki sounded unfazed by the bizarre scene, but deep down I knew he really got off tormenting his pupils like that. Wait, when did I learn this fact? Ugh, my headache hurt like hell. It was like my brain didn't want me to remember. But I felt like I was getting closer...

Ki lit up the second phantasmagoric blue flame of the day. “Time for frog number two...", he said as he crossed a name from a list. I really hoped the next one wouldn't involve any cooking. The exploding grey matter of Frog Number 1 hadn't exactly done wonders to my appetite...

“...Collins, John." Ki's authoritative voice announced, and I audibly gasped in utter fear.

Because John Collins is... me.

Shit, shit, shit, I thought I was number 15 on the list! I clearly remember Ki telling me I was going to be number 15! I misremembered?! Why do you betray me like this, brain? Oh, fuck. I'm not mentally prepared to be next...

“Collins? Don't waste our time, stand in position..." Ki awaited. I was too scared to move, in fact my legs were not responding. But I couldn't further delay my unavoidable public humiliation. I had to act like a man!

“Has anybody seen Collins today?" Ki quietly asked. I was going to say that I was right over here, but just as I was about to open my mouth I heard Travis say something very surprising...

“Nope, didn't see him today."

Yeesh, I know I'm not that popular, but you could at least notice me when I'm right next to you...

However, the rest of the apprentices didn't seem to acknowledge my presence either.

“John? You mean the chubby man who always sits at the back of the class? No, I haven't seen him today."

“Last time I saw him was yesterday... I catched a glimpse of him heading into the library, which was weird considering how late it was. I'm sure he was cramming at the very last minute..."

“John, uh. I dunno, never talked to him."

Hey guys, talking behind my back isn't funny at all when I'm right here next to all of you... I attempt to take a step forward and clear my name, but for some reason my legs still wouldn't move no matter how hard I tried. I opened my mouth but my throat felt really hoarse, I thought I was about to cough or burp loudly in public to my embarrassment, but...

“Riiiiiiibbit!"

What... the... fuck had my mouth just blurted out?! I couldn't believe what I had just heard. I tried to apologize for my rudeness, but...

“Riiibbit...Ribbit?! Ribbit!"

More pathetic croaking left my mouth. It was barely audible among the concert of scared frogs. I could feel my entire body sweating. An invisible veil had been fogging my mind the entire time, but it had been just lifted. I looked down and my face contorted in horror.

I saw a green belly and frog legs spread out in a very unnatural manner. I looked up, and saw little green arms spread above my head. The end of each limb was nailed down to a very big wooden surface by invisible magical nails.

Fuck!! Fuck!! FUCK!!!!

This... this must be a nightmare! A bad fever dream caused by my exam anxiety! This couldn't possibly be happening...!

He...Help!!! Someone... I'm right here! I'm not a...!

“Riibbit! Riibbit!" Hearing my own croaking just made me feel more fucked. I struggled and cried, but I couldn't unglue my hands and feet from the desk even a tiny bit. I was effectively bounded in an X-shape. I felt like a prisoner...

Then my eyes caught sight of the big piece of paper right next to me.

“15"

...Scratch that, I wasn't a prisoner. I was an inmate in the death row! Shit, shit, SHIT! Why...?! Why doesn't anyone realize that there's something extremely off about frog number 15?! I clearly don't deserve to die like the others! I cried my pleas loud and clear, but nobody cared about them.

“So John Collins decided to abstain from being with us today... He'll have to be severely disciplined." Ki coldly stated. Some apprentices giggled to themselves expecting another show just like the guy who got his butt smacked by a sentient broom. They had no idea I was in line for something much more fatal.

“...Still, it's a waste for poor frog number 2 to leave it hanging like that, isn't it?" Ki lifted his hand and casually closed his fist in mid-air. The frog bounded to the desk got squished down into a minuscule ball of frog flesh by an invisible force. A pair of feeble-looking wings sprouted from the green ball and the former frog started fly aimlessly around. Just like that, Ki had compressed the frog down and kicked it down the food chain a few notches until it was nothing more than a fly... which was quickly gobbled up by frog number 3's tongue. The second flame of the day extinguished itself, signaling the end of the frog's life.

Frog number 3 croaked. Apparently its brethren had tasted good.

Everyone cheered and clapped at the perfect display of magic. It wasn't everyday that they got to see Ki showing off like that.

This was so fucking crazy. I couldn't just watch this! Don't kill the frogs! One of those frogs is me! Oh, fuck, I don't want to die!

Ki lit up another blue flame. “Let's see... Next on the list is Trudence, Sam." He said with a grin as he crossed my name off.

Sam's spell turned out to be a bit underwhelming for Ki's taste. Sure, he did successfully turn the frog into a handbag, but the frog's internal organs had been left intact, filling up the accessory with an unnecessary amount of clutter on the inside. Not to say bloody guts.

I just couldn't watch anymore. I cried until my frog face was drenched with tears and mucus as my brethren around me were being transformed and subsequently killed left and right.

By the time my turn was approaching, the whole room was a frog cemetery.

“Gutenberg, Travis." Ki smiled. “Number 15 is all yours."

I think I just pissed myself a little.

“Hold on, wait!" Sam yelled out. Did he figure out that I'm John? Please, let that be true...! “I just noticed that Transmorphic frogs have another remarkable feature that sets them apart... The males have a penis!"

The whole room fell silent. I felt self-aware of my own nudity as I noticed some apprentices looking at my exposed tiny frog manhood... Hey, I was scared of being brutally murdered, so of course it seemed 'tiny'.

“Er... I guess you all already knew." Sam smiled awkwardly. “It's just, I hadn't noticed it until now, and nobody had said it out loud anyway so I thought that..."

Ki gave Sam a stern stare. “...That's enough superfluous observations for today. Gutenberg, do your task."

I looked at Travis pleadingly. Please, Travis, it's me, John!

Travis stared intently at me, the bare frog in the table completely exposed and vulnerable. He... He had to be capable of noticing me...!

“Mmm... This frog..." Travis examined my humble form thoroughly. “Isn't it chubbier than all the other ones? Looks like he got nicely stuffed with bugs before coming here, haha!"

It's not the time to make jokes! You have to get me out of here!

Travis must've been thinking about what Sam had said, because he was glancing down at my dick for some reason. It made me feel awkward.

“Oh, I know just the thing to turn you into!"

Crap!

Travis extended his arm and concentrated with all his might. I closed my eyes.

Please, fail! Please, fail! Please, I need a miracle!

I was scared as fuck, I was about to die...

...And then I felt an invisible force grab my junk.

My eyelids opened wide. I couldn't comprehend why, but Travis was magically willing an erection onto me. What sort of magic is this?! I croaked undignified.

My cock was growing larger and larger until it was absurdly sized. I'm ashamed to admit I kinda enjoyed the feeling for a bit. But my cock keep expanding until it actually started to hurt. The apprentices started laughing at my cries of pain.

...Actually, it wasn't just becoming larger. It was also changing in texture... It felt more... malleable... Or actually... Oh FUCK! Is it melting?! Make it stop! Make it stop!

The melting sensation stopped, but my cock was now larger than my own frog body and Travis was still pulling it even farther. Fuck, fuck, this is so humiliating, why is Travis of all people doing this to me?! To think I used to admire him...!

When Travis considered my cock was sufficiently enlarged, he concentrated on my foreskin and receded it, revealing my dickhead to everyone. Oh fuck, is the transformation over? I just got laughed at for my obscenely enlarged penis. That's enough suffering, right?! However, Travis continued. He made a yanking gesture with his fingers and something came out from my pisslit.

What... is that?

Something had grown out from my pee hole and it seemed extremely sensitive. It looked like a very short rope or wire, something very unnatural-looking on a penis.

“Mister Ki, can I borrow one of your blue flames for a minute?" Travis asked and Ki, seemingly realizing his intentions, agreed. Ki lit up a small flame that hovered right on the tip of his finger and passed it on to Travis, who handled the floating blue flame with care...

Wait... why is Travis...? No...! FUCK!

...and used it to light up the little string that had came out from the tip of my cock.

Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!

The pain was unbearable. Up until this moment I had never owned such a sensitive part on my body and now it was burning! Burning like fucking hell!

Please, stop this!

However, the flame wasn't there just to torture me, it was also putting the final touches to my transformation. As my tip burned, my entire body was apparently sweating bullets. But it was much worse than that. My skin was melting and changing texture until it resembled green wax. Soon enough, the magical nails holding me in place weren't even necessary any more as my body slowly melted and fused together into my giant cock. I croaked in pain until my mouth itself melted. Before I knew it I looked like a very phallic green wax candle. Sitting on my lower end, my eyes were crying tears of pain but nobody lamented me.

“I present you... to Candlefrog!" Travis baptized me as his own creation.

I could hear more laughter and clapping. My creator showed me around and I could feel multiple hands touching my rod, some with curiosity but most in jest. Everything around me was a blur. I couldn't believe this. Someone... Make it stop... It fucking burns... It fucking hurts...!

“I thought that since Ki really loves his magic flames and fireworks, he could really use a candle!" Travis joked. It wasn't fucking funny. I was that candle.

But nobody was aware. Nobody knew. John Collins was no more and my corpse will never be found. And it was all probably my fault. I probably miscasted some spell and turned myself into the very little critter I was supposed to transform. I was so deeply scared of my imminent fate that my mind suppressed last night's events...

“I have to admit, the execution was great, and the result is magnificent..." Ki stated as he took me and explored me all over. “Although... I doubt some lowly frog genitalia can handle my powerful inner flames for long. Look at it, it's already consuming itself."

Of course it can't handle them... It's my cock, not a fucking candle...! Oh shit! It's burning up incredibly fast! My wax manhood was melting away rapidly... I had never seen such a rapidly expanding fire, much less actually feel it! My prick was being extinguished into nothing... Along with the rest of me... I was being consumed entirely by Ki's ruthless flames!

“Look at the poor sod's eyes... He wants to go home with his papa frog, hahaha." Ki said in a painfully fake sarcastic tone. The flame had already burnt up almost all of my rod and was about to consume what used to be my head. I knew my time was near. Oh shit, I just wanted everything to be over already... What a freaking way to die... Burnt to death by the dick... Everything's foggy... Everything's getting so dark... I can't... even... think...

“It won't be missed. It's a very inadequate candle..." Ki said coldly as he evaluated my worth to him. He held me very close towards his hood, and the last thing I saw with my tiny little frog eyes was the startling discovery of the true appearance of Ki's gruesome reptilian eyes. “You could even say that this is... an Inept candle."

...He... knew...

...