FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

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CHAPTER 19

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Reema was relentless in her instruction of the viol. More demanding of perfection than any other Master I'd had before, and far more intense than she had ever been with me during any of our previous lessons. I was little taken aback by this in the beginning, but I realised that she was taking this as seriously as I was, and that only severed to encourage me to try harder.

The ru'sta was, unsurprisingly, complicated and complex. The performance itself actually comprised of several different acts, all with their own melodies and dances that I needed to learn. Some of which were, surprisingly, melodies that Reema had taught me previously; although I had never really spent much time practising them to perfection. That changed quite quickly. Before she had used them as a tool for teaching me some of the more advanced techniques of playing the viol, which required quick and precise finger placement. But now she was pushing me for as close to perfection as I could manage. If I couldn't master the music, then there was no point in learning the dance that went with it!

While I played the music Shasmar danced. Reema in between scolding me when I got something wrong, would perform my part of the dance with Shasmar, so that I could see what I was expected to do while playing. Thankfully none of the dances themselves seemed too difficult. Or at least Reema made it look simple enough. But she wasn't playing the viol as she danced. I would be.

Late in the afternoon of the first day she got me to attempt the dance while she played the music. After a couple of hours I had a clumsy idea of how to move and when, but it was now that the real difficult task reared it's head. To be able to play the song and perform the dance simultaneously.

And to say that doing both was difficult was an understatement. It was nearly impossible! I could barely hit a single correct note when I focused on my dance steps, and practically stood still while focusing on the melody I was meant to be playing! It was like trying to look left and right at the same time!

"You need to focus Malakye!" Reema scolded me. "You have little enough time as it is!"

She wasn't wrong, and suddenly I wasn't sure I'd be ready to perform a single act of the performance by the last day. My ability to play the melodies were barely passable when I wasn't trying to dance. I was suddenly doubting my ability to pull this off even if I had a full cycle to practice! The day came to an end and Reema declared that she needed to return to the village. I said that I would stay a while longer and practise. Shasmar said she would stay and help me learn the dance!

Reema accepted this and left by herself. Shasmar ran me through the steps another ten times, while I was not playing the viol. She said I was I was getting better! I wasn't sure if she was just trying to cheer me up and encourage me when she said I was a fast learner. If I was then it was likely down to my martial arts training, which required perfect technique and timing.

In the end though I collapsed on the ground, sweaty and exhausted and stared up at the darkening sky. The sun was beginning to set. Shasmar laid down next to me, even resting her head in the crook of my right arm.

"Are you all right?" She asked.

"Yeah. Just need to rest." I admitted. "We should probably head back to the village soon."

"We don't have to."

"Aren't you hungry?" I asked.

"Not really."

"Is something wrong?" It felt like there was something she wasn't saying to me.

"I just don't want our time together to end. I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you as well." I admitted.

"I'll help you practise all night if that's what it takes! I want to spend all the time with you that I can."

"All night?" I chuckled. "And here I was thinking that I was determined. But if we don't head back your brother will worry."

"Let him worry!" She giggled.

"I guess." I chuckled with her. "You are a fully grown female now. You can make your own decisions."

"That's right!" She chose that moment to kiss me.

We lay there for a while, kissing and enjoying each other embrace. When we finally stopped kissing I looked up at the darkening sky, the moon was already visible. I was quite content in that moment. The pressure of the performance forgotten about for the time being as I just existed in the here and now. The warmth of Shasmar's body pressed up against me.

"You know that female, the one back in the Mortal realm?" Shasmar asked suddenly, her gentle tone breaking the comfortable silence we had been in.

"Uh..."

It took me a moment to realised what she was talking about. It was Kassandra. I had told her all about her during one of our many talks. About how she had been so mean to me when I first met her. About the time I saved her from the rapists who had targeted her, and how we became friends after that. About how I worried about how she was doing while I was over here. It wasn't just Kassandra, I had told her about all of my friends back home, about my life growing up in a wolven village. That one of the wolves who made my life hell was also a k'tan, and was being trained by Callen and Garr while I trained here in the village she called home.

But it was during these conversations, through Shasmar's questioning, that I truly realised that I liked Kassandra more than just a friend. I worried about her more than any of my other friends. I felt protective of her. I felt I needed to protect her, because I believed I was the only one that would. She was an outcast in Zangar, mostly down to her own actions. The only other fur she had in her life that cared about her was her Grandfather.

Of course Shasmar immediately called me out on her, claiming that I was in love with her. I denied it in the beginning, but couldn't deny it for long as I realised that it was quite possibly true. I did love Kassandra. But it was an unrequited love, one which she didn't return in kind. She always made snarky remarks to me, but that was what she had always done. The only difference was she was more tolerant of my presence around her than anyone else.

"Yeah, what about her?" I asked.

"Well, if you went back to the Mortal Realm right now, would you tell her that you loved her?"

"Maybe." I admitted. "Probably not. She'd probably kick my tail for saying it!" I laughed. "She doesn't really like males all that much. Thinks they just want one thing from her."

"I can understand that." Shasmar sighed. "All any male wants with me is for me to become their mate. Not because they love me, but because I'm some prize to be claimed. Except you. You turned me down when I asked you before, remember?"

"Of course I do!" I chuckled. "You know that wasn't personal right? I just wasn't in a place where..."

"I know." She snuggled into me. "I was quite upset but Lady Jan'Zar explained everything to me."

"She did?!" I was a little surprised to hear that.

"Mmmhmm." She nodded. "She found me while I was crying after being rejected by you. She had apparently seen the whole thing, and came to comfort me."

That didn't really sound like the Jan'Zar I knew. But Shasmar wasn't a liar. Jan'Zar did have a soft side, she just didn't show it very often. She cared about the Masrur, and they in turn worshipped her. Her Champion was their greatest hero so it was understandable that she might hold them close to her heart in some way.

"I'm glad that we are friends Shasmar." I smiled at her.

"But..."

"But?"

"What if I told you that I loved you?"

"Well I love you too." I admitted. The word for love in old tongue had a lot of uses. It was used to convey friendship, and closeness, not just the love shared by couples.

"I know you do. But I mean, beyond love as a friend." She used a term I had only heard a few times before. One which was only used between those who deeply loved one another.

"Oh..."

"I know you don't feel the same way about me." She sighed. "And that is all right. But knowing that you will soon leave, breaks my heart. I'm glad we got to spend the night together. And that you chose me to perform the ru'sta with you."

"I couldn't have picked anyone else." I smiled. "And I want you to know, I didn't sleep with you just because I could. I do truly care about you."

"Really!?" She got excited.

"Really." I confirmed.

"But you don't love me, do you?"

"Not in the same way that you love me. No. I... I'm sorry."

She sighed heavily in disappointment.

"Thank you for being honest with me." She nuzzled my neck.

"I wish I could make it up to you somehow."

"You can."

"How?" I asked curiously.

"I want you to treat me like the female back in your world." She said. "Show me what it feels like to be loved by another, and not just desired!"

I stared at her for a few moments. My brain was a jumble of thoughts, and her soft, demanding gaze was making it difficult to refuse her. She wanted me to treat her as if she was Kassandra. To treat her as I would her when I returned to the Mortal realm. A difficult image to imagine, not without imagining Kassandra punching me in the muzzle a few times. But at least this way I could imagine the best possible outcome to that conversation.

I leant down and kissed her gently on the muzzle. When I pulled away our eyes met and we could see the desire and passion we had reflected in each others eyes. Our muzzles met again and we kissed more deeply and more passionately, only stopping to catch our breath.

"Is this what you wanted?" I whispered.

"Yes." She whispered back.

We kissed again, my left paw moved to her hip and her paw lay atop mine a moment later. I could feel myself getting harder with each passing moment, and the scent of her arousal was getting stronger as well. It was going to be a long night.

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"Malakye, why don't you love me the same way I love you?!" Shasmar cried, tears running down her muzzle. "Why won't you love me!?"

The sight of her tear matted fur pain filled wails was heart wrenching. I approached her slowly, desperate to console her in some way.

"I'm sorry... I thought we had..." I reached out to her and paused as my paw hovered just a few inches away from her. "I really don't have time for this." I turned and began to walk away.

"How can you be so heartless!!" She bawled. "I hate you! I hate you!! I HATE YOU!!!!" She was a physical wreck on the ground now.

"If you're quite done?" I sighed.

"Heh-heh. Not good enough?" Her voice got deeper, more masculine. She glanced up at me, her red eyes glowed distinctively as our eyes met. "I thought I did quite a good job myself." She grinned.

She rose from the ground and her form changed. She took on the form of my doppelgänger. Thanks to Jan'Zar's training I had been quick to notice that this was dream. I would not allow the spirit to use Shasmar to manipulate me!

"Maybe you'd prefer to watch her die next time?" He cackled. "Watch her slit her own throat and bleed out before your eyes?"

I didn't respond. I summoned a small amount of spiritual energy into my paw, the glowing yellow orb, no larger than a firefly, hovered above my palm, and I threw it at him. He just smiled and allowed it to hit him. As the light enveloped him he vanished from sight. I sat down cross legged and began to mediate. I wouldn't allow him to invade my dreams again this night.

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I was awakened by the suns light in my eyes. I squinted as I was momentarily blinded by the beam of sun that had found it's was through the trees to my eyes. I attempted to roll over, away from the painful light but couldn't as Shasmar had a firm hold of me as she slumbered. I just lay there and turned my head to keep the sun out of my eyes. We had had a late night so I wanted to let her sleep a little longer. Today would be another long day training.

I did want to get up and find somewhere to wash before Reema got back. No doubt she knew that we had slept together while we were out here, but I didn't want to advertise the fact. Plus I would appreciate keeping my modesty in front of her as well.

It wasn't long after however that I heard footsteps approaching through the brush. There was at least two sets approaching us. I sat bolt upright and hissed at Shasmar to wake up. I stood up and took a defensive stance, ignoring my modesty, ready to defend us if needed. As she realised what was going on the intruders appeared from the tree line. It was Elder Reema and Harlock!

"Brother!" Shasmar exclaimed in surprise while attempting to cover her own modesty before her brother. "W-what are you doing here!?" Her question was not a shocked tone of disbelief, but a tone of accusation.

"He is escorting me my dear. I'm afraid he was quite insistent on following me out here." Reema answered her. "So I figured I may as well make use of him since I couldn't stop him following me in any case."

Looking at Harlock a second time I took note that he did in fact seem to be carrying a fair amount of luggage with him. He dropped the two woven baskets he'd been carrying and the removed the heavy backpack from his back.

"What is all that?" I asked curiously while keeping an eye on Harlock as he had essentially caught me in the act with his sister.

While we hadn't actually been having sex when he appeared, the evidence of our activities during the night was more than evident. Both of us naked, dried crusted fluids all over us and the scent of sex still lingered in the air around us. I wasn't sure if he was mad or not. His expression had been very stoic the whole time, and he hadn't spoken yet either.

"I brought some supplies." Reema said answering my question. "Since it was quite apparent that neither of you returned back to the village last night, and would likely do the same thing again, I decided to bring a few essentials for both of you!" She picked up one of the baskets that Harlock had been carrying. "Including some breakfast. Now why don't the pair of you go and wash up in the stream over there." She pointed in the direction behind us; to the South. "And we shall all eat breakfast together when you get back."

I just stood there, staring at Shasmar's stoic brother as he stared at us. Shasmar stood up, grabbing her clothing and using it to cover herself. Reema noticed this and huffed impatiently.

"Now! Please! We don't have all day!" Reema scolded us.

Shasmar and I turned and walked in the direction she had indicated earlier. Not wanting another scolding or to upset her any more than we already had. I was still a little confused as to Harlock's intentions here. Was he upset or not? I wasn't too worried about taking him in a fight. He was a skilled warrior, but I was confident in my ability to beat him if it came to that. Even if he took me by surprise. But I didn't want to fight him. He was Shasmar's brother after all.

We found the stream in short order. And quickly began to use the cold water to wash ourselves clean. We glanced at one another and laughed at the situation. We had been caught. But we weren't embarrassed by it, we just found it amusing. Elder Reema certainly didn't seem to care. Her presence was reassuring. If Harlock started an argument Reema would be the voice of reason.

We returned to the clearing, only to find it had turned into more of a camp-site. During the few minutes we had been away Harlock had formed a fire pit out of rocks, and some wood was sitting ready to be lit. Reema had laid a blanket out over a wide boulder, and had laid out the food she'd brought with her on it, making it into a table of sorts. There were several rolls of blankets sitting nearby, and a cooking pot with another basket sitting close to the fire-pit.

Harlock and Reema knelt down on the ground before her makeshift table and we did the same, sitting across from them. Harlock still hadn't said anything yet, and I still couldn't read his expression. We began eating in an uncomfortable silence. A silence that didn't seem to bother Reema in the slightest.

"Why are you here brother?" Shasmar asked once more.

"Do you not wish to see me?" He replied with his own question.

"Of course I do! But I was not expecting you here."

"Apparently." He said, his gaze flicked to me for a second before returning to his sister. "I came because I was worried about you. You did not return home last night."

"Malakye is more than capable of taking care of me!" Shasmar countered.

"I'm sure he is." His tone had an edge of accusation in it.

"You know what I mean!" Shasmar snapped.

"And Elder Reema should be roaming the wilderness alone." He added.

Reema didn't seem to question him, or correct him on his statement. Either she agreed with him or wasn't insulted by his statement. I felt slightly guilty. I had never seen any predators around the village that might threaten the life of a Masrur. Even and elder like Reema. But I was hardly an expert on the area. If there was such a threat I shouldn't have allowed Reema to return back to the village alone last night.

"You could have gotten any warrior to escort her!" Shasmar countered. "You have your own duties to attend to the village."

"My duties will be fine." Harlock replied bluntly.

"Don't blame your brother for caring about your well being my dear. It's only natural he wanted to check up on you." Reema interjected in between bites of food.

"Fine!" Shasmar huffed. Apparently giving up on the argument.

"Are we all right?" I asked. Harlock turned his gaze to me. "I mean..."

"I am not angry with you." He said. "Who my sister beds is not my concern, she is a grown female and has the right to choose her own bedmates. She will need to deal with any consequences her actions may have. Besides that, you are a worthy enough warrior that I would not have interjected at your relationship even if I did not agree with it. Unless you had forced yourself upon her of course."

"He did no such thing!"

"And nor did I think he had." He replied calmly. "I was just simply stating a fact. I am well aware that you willingly took him into your bed the night of the Hakar. So I was under no delusion as to the contrary."

So he was fine with me sleeping with his sister. That's good. But just because he said he was fine with it, because of my standing as a warrior as he had put it, didn't mean he liked the fact that I was sleeping with his sister. But Harlock was as level headed as they came. I should be able to take him at his word.

With breakfast over we resumed our practise. Harlock disappeared shortly after we began. Just like before Reema was hard on me for any little mistake I made. But I worked hard and by the end of the day I was exhausted. But I felt as though I had improved. But was I improving quickly enough?

That night Shasmar and I remained in the woods, and spent a few hours practising the dance after eating dinner. Dinner which had been provided by Harlock. He had returned a couple of hours before sundown. He had been hunting while we practised. He returned with a few jarlock, small rodent like creatures which lived in underground burrows.

He returned with Reema to the village without further comment that his sister and I were staying out here again. Maybe he had just been concerned for his sister well being after all, and not suspicious that I was taking advantage of her. Needless to say that Shasmar and I took advantage of each others company, for our own mutual pleasure.

We woke and bathed before Reema returned once more in the morning. Once again, Harlock had escorted her. Reema passed his attendance off as a way to maintain the surprise of my planned performance. He could be trusted not to mention it, not only for the effect of maintaining the surprise for the village, but to prevent my embarrassment if Reema declared that my skill was not sufficient in order to perform the ru'sta.

The week continued on in the this way, relatively unchanged. And the day before my final day in the village loomed. Tomorrow night I would either perform the ru'sta with Shasmar. Or I would not. That final decision was Reema's. Tonight would be my last night with Shasmar as well. I think that part hurt the most when I thought about it. We had grown closer than ever before during our time out here in the wilderness.

After a morning of practise we stopped for a light lunch. Harlock had returned shortly before we did. Which was unusual, as he never appeared until it was time for them to return to the village. I didn't question it. And so we ate a lunch of flat bread, which Reema had brought with her from the village, and some meat that was left over from Harlock's hunt yesterday. It was plain but filling.

During lunch I had noticed that Reema and Harlock reached for another piece of bread at the same time. Their paws brushed one another, nothing too out of the ordinary there, even when they paused for a moment and I noticed the slight smile on both of their muzzles. It was all perfectly innocent.

But it was a moment later that I got a flash of inspiration. The same experience I'd had a number of times before when training with Master Jun'lao, and I simply knew something that I shouldn't have been able to know. And I knew that this was the same. This wasn't just my mind playing tricks on me. Reema and Harlock had slept together the night before. I also knew that it had been their first time together. How had that happened!?

"Is something the matter Malakye?" Reema asked.

"No." I replied quickly. I was worried that I'd replied too quickly, that she knew that I was lying and press the issue. Thankfully she didn't and I returned to eating my lunch.

Harlock was mated, with a cub on the way. But sleeping with others in the Masrur culture was not that uncommon. A male was never judged for sleeping with another male or female after they were mated. Females were, however there were exceptions to that rule. Reema wasn't mated. Her mate had passed away many winters before I came to the village. She could sleep with whom ever she wanted, and no one would judge her for it. And with her status as an elder very few could call her out on it either. But I found it a little unusual that a young, virile male like Harlock had decided to sleep with a much older female.

But it was not my business. Nor would I judge him openly for it. I have seen Reema naked. She is quite attractive considering her age. But Harlock was not the type that casually slept with others, be they male or female, especially from what Shasmar had told me about him in the past. Perhaps his mates pregnancy had led to some problems in the bedroom and Harlock was simply looking for a way to relieve some of his pent up stress.

When lunch was over I pushed the thoughts of Harlock and Reema to the back of my mind and focused on the task at paw; mastering both the dance and the music of the ru'sta. As the afternoon came to a close both myself and Shasmar finished a run through of the entire act. We were both a little breathless and tired.

"That was actually passable!" Reema declared gleefully with a clap of her paws. "AGAIN!"

I groaned inwardly but prepared once more to run through the performance. Shasmar and I went through each act, Reema occasionally barking out a criticism, but we kept going. And once we had finished Reema clapped her paws yet again.

"Very well done! You have improved significantly over the last two days!"

"We have one day to practise." I huffed.

"True." Reema stated. "However you have some other duties to take care of before you can do that!" She stated suddenly.

"I do?!"

"Of course you do! Tomorrow will be your last official day here in the village. You must participate in the fa'do!" I had never heard that phrase before and my confusion seemed to be evident as Reema let out an exasperated sigh before explaining. "The fa'do is a tradition. Each time that one of the Guardian Deities stay with us, when they depart we hold the fa'do. It consists of all of the families of the tribe offering piety to the Deities, and in return receiving their blessings."

"And what does that have to do with me?"

"You and the wolf, Khaine, shall be guests of honour. You will stand alongside Lord Callen and Lady Jan'Zar during the ceremony, along with the Champions who accompanied them. It. Is. Tradition!" She left no doubt that there would be hell to pay if I wasn't there. "After the ceremony will come the feast, and you will perform the ru'sta."

I didn't fail to notice that she didn't say that I might perform it. That I would perform it. I smiled at that minor acknowledgement.

"We shall still be able to practice in the morning." Shasmar smiled.

"That will not be possible." Harlock interjected. "You will need to return back to the village with us tonight."

"What!? Why!?" Shasmar demanded.

"You forget the tradition of humo my dear." Reema replied on Harlock's behalf.

"Oh..."

This was yet another tradition that I was not aware of. I was getting a little annoyed at this point. But it sounded important.

"And what is humo?" I asked.

"It is an old tradition." Harlock stated.

"But one which is not commonly used. I can't remember the last time it was." Reema added. "But it is still a rightful challenge that we elders will have no choice but to uphold."

"Given my sisters status as a single female, her mate-ship status would be up for contest."

"I'm sorry, what?" I was extremely confused now.

"If an unmated female spends significant time with a male, or multiple males, and there is clear evidence to say that they were sexually active during that time, then any eligible males may make a challenge and make her their mate."

"And I could not do anything to stop them from doing so." Harlock stated bluntly. "Since I have not received a dowry from you, or officially declared you as her mate, while knowing that you two have been sexually active I cannot object to any such challenge."

"That's insane!" I shook my head.

"True, but it is the law!" Reema added. "In the rare case when such challenges are made, it is because an unmated female has fallen pregnant. But that is not a requirement. Any males who made such a challenge would fight each other to determine the victor. They may then make an official challenge for her to become their mate. If Shasmar were to reject them, then she must fight them and win in a duel in order to decline their challenge."

"Then what if I decided to object to any such challenges?" I asked. "Surely that would stop anyone from making a challenge?"

"It likely would. I doubt many Masrur would think of challenging you, even rescinding their own challenges if you were to make such a claim." Harlock smiled. "However by doing so you would be also be forced to take her as your mate. And given the fact that you are the one she has been sexually active with, she wouldn't be allowed to reject you."

"What?!" I looked at Shasmar to see if this was some kind of joke. It was evident from her expression that it wasn't. I couldn't take her as my mate! It wouldn't be fair on her! She'd have to move away with me, away from her family. And... I couldn't give her cubs! Something I know she wanted. "Well... what do we do!?"

"Shasmar must return to the village tonight." Harlock answered. "And remain by my side so there is no chance anyone can make a claim that she slept with any males, including Malakye. Nor can you sleep together again."

"BROTHER!" Shasmar objected.

"It may already be too late to prevent a challenge being issued. I shouldn't have allowed you to remain out here with Malakye for this long. There are many rumours around the village as to why you have not returned. If we are lucky then no one shall make a challenge. I know you have not yet found someone you think is worthy of being your mate, and I respect your decision sister. But if things continue on in this way then I won't be able to protect you. It would be best if you chose a mate, before the decision is made for you."

"He's right Shasmar." I sighed. "I didn't know about this tradition. If I did I never would have allowed you to put yourself in this position."

"Malakye... no..." She hugged me. "I wouldn't have changed anything. This week has been so wonderful. You treated me like I hoped a mate would. You're my best friend." She sobbed quietly into my chest. I hugged her back. "Claim me."

"What?"

"Claim me as your mate!" She demanded. "If you do then no one else will!"

"She does have a point." Reema nodded.

"I... but I can't give you cubs. I'm not a Masrur!" I frowned. "You've always talked about how you want a large family."

"She could sire the cubs of other males." Reema said matter of factly. "There is no law preventing her from taking you as her mate."

Masrur were more monogamous than we in the Mortal Realm. They only took a single mate, they were not polygamous in their relationships as we were. But they were also not restricted to sex with their mates. Which meant that mates were expected to care for cubs sired by other males as if they were their own. It was such an alien concept to me. In the Mortal Realm mates would have each others cubs, and siring cubs from others often led to disastrous consequences for the relationship. Taking a mate in Masrur culture could easily be viewed the same as claiming a trophy partner. But it held more meaning to them that that. But this humo... it didn't seem to fit into that ideology. To claim a mate by force.

I didn't want Shasmar to suffer such a fate. She deserved to find a mate who loved her and she loved in return. She seemed to think that I was such a fur. I was truly honoured she thought so highly of me even though I wasn't as convinced. Part of me was willing to do that for her, if that was what it would take to make her happy.

But I wasn't sure I could give her a happy life. She would have to move away from the rest of her family. Away from the life she knew here, to a life I couldn't even predict since I knew nothing of where we were going to stay. The intense training I was going to do... it was going to be dangerous. If I died then she would be left alone. I didn't want her to simply become a distraction for me, in any sense of the term. She deserved to be loved.

Would she even be allowed to go Mortal realm with me if I decided to return? If I took her as my mate then would that mean I would have to remain here in Aaru? I knew that if that was the case I wouldn't be able to abandon her like that, and I would have to remain in Aaru with her. Would I come to resent her for that? For taking the choice to return home away from me? Back when Callen and I had gotten close, I had been in two minds about staying or returning. I still was. Part of me still yearned for Callen. But another big part of me wanted to return home to my friends and family.

"I-I.... I need a moment." I said as I pulled away from her and walked into the forest.

"Malakye!" Shasmar called out after me.

"Let him be child!" Reema told her sternly. "He has a lot to consider."

"We shall head back to the village." Harlock called out to me. "We shall see you when you return."

I wandered into the forest. Lost in my thoughts I wandered until I emerged at the other side of the small forest. I leant against the trunk of a tree and sat down on the ground and stared out at the horizon. I tried to sort through my thoughts, but there was just too much I didn't understand.

"Hey!"

I jumped as the voice came out of nowhere. I grabbed the knife on my hip instinctively. I saw the white fur and large ears and immediately knew who it was before I'd gotten a good look at their muzzle. I rolled my eyes, put my knife away and leant back against the tree.

"Hi Loki."

"What's the matter? You look bummed out!" As he spoke he wandered around me, examining me. His overly large ears bobbing almost comically with the smallest movement. "Wanna play?"

"No. Not really."

"Awww!" He pouted and wandered behind the tree I was sitting at.

"I haven't had the chance to tell you." I said. "But I'm leaving in two days."

"Leaving!?" His voice came from above me. I looked up and he was hanging upside down in the tree. "And you weren't going to say goodbye?!"

It was rare, but I occasionally found the time to go and visit him. Play a childish game with him. It was usually quite fun and a nice distraction.

"Sorry. I've been busy."

"Is that why your so bummed out?" He asked. "Because your leaving?"

"In part yes." I admitted. "I've come to enjoy my life here. But I need the next stage of my training. So I need to leave."

"Who'll play with me if you go!? I'll be all alone again!" He whined like a little cub.

"You'll have to find someone else to play with."

"I know! I could come with you! Then we can keep playing together!" He leapt down and landed before me with a graceful flip.

I shook my head at the irony of his statement. I was here struggling whether or not to take Shasmar as my mate, meaning that she would have to move away with me. Away from the only life she knows. And now here was this fox, a Deity, wanting me to take them with me as well.

"I'm not sure if Jan'Zar would approve of that. She doesn't even know that I know you." I reminded them.

"Aw yeah. She's so mean!" He pouted. "So why are you so bummed out?"

"I have a lot to think about. And I don't know what to do." I said.

"Then why not ask that bird?"

"Bird?"

"Yeah, the one why teaches you how to fight! You say he's meant to be really smart! So why not ask him?"

"That's... actually a good idea." I smiled.

"That's better!" Loki giggled.

"What?"

"You're smiling!"

"Thanks Loki."

"You're welcome!" He giggled. "Wanna play now?"

"All right. But just for a little bit. It's getting late."

"YAY!" He cheered.

************

"Well that is quite a situation your in." Master Jun'lao acknowledged.

I had just explained my situation with Shasmar to him and Master Kami. As I finished my explanation Jun'bak, Kao'lar and Hen'zi appeared with a cup of tea for all of us. I didn't really like tea, but I took it to be polite. I sipped at the hot herbal drink. The three of them sat down around the camp fire with us as we continued to discuss my problem.

"Do you love this female Malakye?" Master Kami asked. He used the same term that Shasmar had, and while it had many connotations, I knew which one he had meant.

"I do. I care for her, and her well being." I replied. "I don't want to be responsible for making her unhappy."

"You worry that if you did take her as your mate that she would be unhappy." Master Jun'lao stated.

"Yes!"

"But there is no evidence that that would be the case. You could make her very happy" He countered. "She obviously loves you. And if you were to reject her then you would undoubtedly make her unhappy would you not?"

"Yes... but... at least..." I couldn't find the words to express how I felt. I couldn't argue that he did a point.

"At least you would know the extent of her unhappiness." Master Kami interjected. "And that she would eventually move on from you and find happiness else where."

"Yes!" I exclaimed.

"A valid point." Master Jun'lao nodded. "Relationships are complicated Malakye. But that is what makes them worth having. Nothing worth while is simply given to you. You worry that you won't be able to make her happy, fair enough. But what about you Malakye? Would being with her make you happy?"

"I... I think so. But I honestly don't know." I sighed. "I don't want to end up hating her."

"Because you are unsure if you'd be able to return to the Mortal Realm if you took her as your mate." Jun'lao speculated. "Travel to the Mortal Realm is strictly monitored. I couldn't tell you for sure if she would be allowed to or not, but I can't see any real reason why she wouldn't be allowed to."

"I agree with Master Jun'lao." Master Kami added. "There is no reason for her not to be allowed to return to the Mortal Realm with you if she was your mate. And if there was you have my assurance that both Master Jun'lao and myself would petition on your behalf to allow her to return with you." Jun'lao nodded to confirm Master Kami's statement.

"She would be the only known Masrur to exist in the Mortal Realm however." Master Jun'lao added.

"Which means if she wants to have cubs she'd have to have them before we returned."

"Man this is some serious stuff!" Hen'zi commented. Jun'bak hushed him.

"Your training is far from over Malakye. You will likely have several more years before your training is complete to the point that you'd be able to return. And I can assure you there will be plenty of Masrur in the Capital for Shasmar to sire a few cubs from if that is the case." Master Kami pointed out.

"Cubs... How the hell am I going to support cubs?! I'm training all the time! I don't have the coin to support a family!"

"Do not worry about that." Jun'lao assured me. "You are under the care of the Guardian Deities. And as such, any family you may have, or will have, will also be under their care until your training is complete."

"I just don't know!" I buried my muzzle into my paws in frustration. "I just want what is best for her! I've put her in this position!"

"I have never seen you like this before Malakye. I must say it is good to know that you can have these concerns. I suppose this would be a much easier decision for you if she was with cub." Master Jun'lao chuckled.

"Master Jun'lao, I don't think..." Master Kami began but stopped.

"I do apologise. I did not mean to make fun of you Malakye. Kami is right. I forgot myself for a moment. Please forgive my rudeness."

"It's fine." I assured him. "You've helped me so many times with advice since we met. I wouldn't hold a single comment against you Master."

"You are very kind Malakye." He dipped his head slightly in a bow. "You are struggling with this decision because you are so worried about doing the right thing for her. Perhaps we should look at this from another perspective."

"Okay." I nodded, eager to find any way to help me resolve this situation.

"Then allow me to put it to you in another way." Master Jun'lao said. I stared at him eagerly, anticipating a wisdom that would help me. "What do you want?"