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Changes We Make

Chapter One

© Cederwyn Whitefurr

24th July, 2019

All Rights Reserved.

Nicole wiped the back of her forearm over her forehead, as she felt the stinging sweat that threatened to drip down into her eyes. For over four hours, her and her dedicated Veterinary Nurses had fought to save this young Red Kangaroo Doe's life. Critically injured by a motor vehicle, with deep lacerations and internal bleeding, Nicole thrust her latex gloved paws into the Kangaroo's abdomen, as she sought the artery that was haemorrhaging.

"Not tonight - " Nicole swore, as she used a retractor to pull away the intestines, as her other hand held a scalpel, the index finger laying along the back of the edge. "More suction here please, and hold the retractor, I need to get hands on in here - I can feel it, its just..."

Suddenly Nicole gasped and snapped her hands out, clutching her left hand with the right one, the scalpel falling to the floor with a clank.

"Fuck!" Nicole swore, as she tore the bloodied gloves off and rushed to the nearby sink, her face going white as she used her elbow to turn the water on and then gasped as the bleeding wound was irrigated with ice cold water. "Silly...I accidentally cut myself, get that..."

Turning her head, Nicole was saddened to hear the heart monitors sad, mournful solid beep.

"I'm sorry Doctor Wilkinson - she's gone..." Spoke one of the Nurses, as they shook their heads and began shutting down the machinery and putting aside the used instruments. "We tried our best...I fear it was just too much for her."

With a heavy sigh, Nicole nodded and continued to wash out the wound on her finger. It had cut deep, way deeper than she thought, but it was only a small wound - but a wound none the less.

"Should have been more damn careful - " Nicole chastised herself.

Closing the eyes on the kangaroo doe, the Nurses felt grief and remorse - it always hurt when they lost a patient, from the smallest rodent right through to a creature like this.

"You all done your best - " Nicole told them. "It never gets easier, believe me, I've been a Veterinarian for over a decade...it never gets easier...we had to try, she was only young - but at least we managed to save her joey, its something...good work everyone, lets clean up and call it a night."

*

Nicole got home at 2am, dropping her keys onto the sideboard near the front door as she sighed in weariness and sadness.

"I was so close, I could feel it - " Nicole grumbled, her inner anger at her failing always directed at herself. "If I'd been quicker or - "

Stop it, you know you did all you could - her injuries were just too severe - nothing could have saved her and you know it!

That rational, calm voice always worked its magic on her, and she shuddered and nodded before going to fix herself a drink.

"I had to try..."

Making herself a double scotch, neat, Nicole went and lay on the couch, propping her back up with some cushions as she sighed in weariness and frustration. Sipping her drink and feeling the strong burn of the alcohol as it slid down her throat helped a bit as she downed the rest in two quick swallows and leaned her head back, sighing softly.

I'll just rest here a mom...

_Nicole's_eyelids come down like a hammer...

*

Gods, what did I do last night... Come the foggy, disjointed thoughts, as Nicole stretched a hand out and scratched at her belly - feeling something like a blanket covering her - yet the fingers weren't as responsive as they should be - they felt - different, changed somehow...

Wearily, she forced her eyelids open - they felt like two lead shades, they were so heavy and reluctant. When at last the faint light of dawn pierced through them, she gasped and squeezed them closed, as the sunlight burned her vision like fire.

I only had that one dink, sure, a double...but...

Nicole weakly opened her eyes again, squinting as she moaned and shook her head - feeling _something_strange about it as well. Her vision was hazy and blurred, a she blinked away tears that welled in her eyes - then focused then and when she did, her mind fell away into the abyss of madness.

I can't be seeing this, I just can't!

Where her human legs had once been, was now covered in a fine russet fur, a paler fur on the inner thighs. Long slender feet, with three toes; of which the middle one ended in a two inch long black, curled talon - looked back at her from the end of the couch. A heavy, pale tale hung over the edge, between the feet as her mind reeled.

'No, no no!" Nicole squealed breathlessly.

As she held her hands up before her eyes - only to see they were no longer hands but kangaroo paws - each fingertip ending in short, dark claws. Her fingers grabbed at her chest - to find it flat and furred, before walking up her throat and feeling the fur there as well. Next, the paws fled like frightened animals to the face - to feel the unmistakable muzzle , then the long, tubular ears.

Her skirt still clung to her body, her socks were torn and shredded, presumably as the claws on the hind foot had grown and her blouse was torn, barely clinging by strands on her shoulders.

"This can't be real - I'm dreaming..." Nicole squealed - but all she heard from her throat was strange, feral like growls, clicks and other noises.

Rolling off the lounge, Nicole tried to stand but only crumpled like a child's sand castle, falling heavily to the floor. Her legs twitched and ached, muscles and tendons feeling like she'd run a marathon - when in reality, they'd never been used. Clawing at the carpet, Nicole dragged herself over to the coffee table, then her claws gouged at the wood as she struggled to lift herself up. After considerable time and effort, she got to her long hind feet, the heavy tail helping support herself, before she shuddered and panted. Even this simple effort - left her sweat soaked and exhausted.

No, no, no! Nicole's mind screamed at her, refusing to accept the truth of what she had become - how- she had become this...well...

Almost too scared to think about it, Nicole slid her black paws down her chest, then towards the belly, before she gasped as she slid them into a painless slash in her lower abdomen, the paws pricking the fur-less velvet like skin of the inner pouch before she snatched them back out.

I'm a doe...

Panic set in, as she stumbled and fell heavily again, the tendons like springs in the back of her legs propelling her against her will straight into the wall which cracked as she slammed against it with her head. Sobbing, she clutched her aching head between her paws and lay on her side for an hour, flexing her toes and trying to make sense of it all.

This isn't right, I'm stuck in some nightmare - it has to be - I'm human, I'm not a...

_Look again..._Her mind insisted.

I know what and who I am..I'm human, my name is Doctor Nicole Wilkinson, 32, human, I work at the Cedar Grove Veterinary Clinic...

Realisation suddenly began to spread across her muzzle, as her mind whirled.

We're a 24 hour veterinary clinic...

_Bravo! You have a brain in there after all!_Come her sarcastic thought that floated through her head.

I got to get out..get to the clinic, they'll be able too - too...

To do what? You think this is some sort of drug induced hallucination? You're in some costume, they can just unzip and out you'll come - a human? Really?

No...I can't be...what...whatever this is...

Why not? Think on it, what was odd about that Kangaroo you were working on hmm?

Refusing to believe she would forever remain in this strange, alien form, Nicole clawed at the wall, her sharp fingertips digging into the plaster board as she weakly dragged herself back to her feet.

Now what?

Now...I'm going to crawl to the front door, then go get help...

*

It took nearly four hours, for Nicole to crawl on feet and paws, less than twenty feet. Often she would stumble and fall, laying there and panting in pain when she'd wrench a leg the wrong way, slipping on the tiled floor - or a wrist would get bent until she screamed, thinking it'd surely snap.

Finally, she made it to the door, then her paws gripped it as best she could, before trying to turn it and twist it - before she realised it was locked - she had locked it when she come home...

No...

Good work...well, now what?

Frustrated, Nicole leaned against the wall, before she crawled back, a little quicker this time and her paws fumbled at the table, until she managed to grip the ring of keys.

You really think you can unlock a door - with these paws? You're flat out even crawling, let alone operating keys and locks!

Determined, Nicole spent another two hours trying, until dropping the keys in frustration, gripping her head in her paws and shaking with stress and confusion.

Bedroom window - it's always open and...

Huh, you are still thinking? How amusing...

Carefully, Nicole tried a tentative hop, before she skidded and slammed against the hallway wall.

Carefully! Nicole chastised herself, as she crouched and placed her paws on the ground, then clawed forwards, before again, tentatively hopping. She made it three feet before again stumbling, her sharp paw claws gouging at the wall before her feet went from under her and she fell heavily again with a sickening thump on the cold tiled floor.

Why oh why did I insist on tiles... Stumbling, Nicole half crawled, half hopped to the bedroom, her paws fumbling at the door handle, before she opened it. Smells she'd never imagined assaulted her nostrils. She was a moment, purely overwhelmed by them, as her brain tried to sort them out. Pushing this thought aside, Nicole crawled over the thick carpet, fine dust particles making her sneeze before she stared at the half open window through which come the sweetest breeze she'd ever smelt.

Now what...

Flexing her paws, Nicole tried to push the window up, but her arms were too short and her paws didn't work that way. Desperately, she tried to squeeze out under it, before the window lifted a bit. Using her hind legs she braced the window on the back of her neck and pushed it up. Clawing at the screen, she tore through it, then tumbled head over tail out the window, landing on her back on the still dew wet grass.

Wonderful, its...what time is it anyway?

Nicole had no reference other than the sun was well clear of the horizon, she suddenly felt her head pounding with the sounds and noises of city life. It was a shrieking cacophony in her ears of vehicles, people, electronic buzzes from the power lines and other unspeakable and unimagined sounds. Clutching her head in her paws, she gripped her ears, trying to block it all out, as it threatened to overwhelm her.

Screaming in pain and fear, Nicole's instincts seized her and she began bounding wildly, just like a feral kangaroo - with no destination or purpose, just to get away from the noise. Flying across the road, she heard the screaming of tyres and the started yells and voices of shocked humans. Without thinking, she leaped over a five foot high fence - clearing it with ease, as her powerful leg muscles settled into a rhythmic hopping motion.

Air billowed into her lungs and out again, as she continued to wildly flee, clearing another fence then screaming as a German Shepherd charged at her across the grass. Caught unawares and unable to work out what to do, Nicole felt her panic flee, making her stumble into some patio furniture.

Snarling, the German Shepherd was on her in seconds, his powerful teeth shearing into her left leg, making her scream as she clawed at him, the sharp fingertips gouging across his muzzle and drawing blood. He howled in agony, his sharp fangs tearing at her slender leg before she kicked him away with the other foot, using the tail as a third foot to balance herself.

He yelped and limped away, leaving her laying there, panting and shaking. As she tried to get back to her feet, she shrieked and felt the leg burning like fire, wet stickiness soaking the lower half of the leg.

No...no he...he didn't...

Twisting herself around, she clutched at the leg with her right paw, trying to staunch the blood that flowed from the savaged leg, but the wound was too deep and too wide - at best - she could barely hold it closed. Someone, female, human, come out, then screamed as she looked at the German Shepherd, his muzzle soaked with blood, then at Nicole, who screamed, her ears flattening against her neck as fear and pain fought for supremacy in her mind.

Hurriedly, the human dashed back inside, and Nicole feared the worse - her leg was bleeding badly, she couldn't even bear to put it on the ground, as she lay there weak, helpless and expecting the end to come - either at the hands of the German shepherd - or by the human woman...

Whimpering, the German Shepherd slinked inside, favouring his left leg, whilst Nicole lay outside, panting and shaking with fear and stress. Which would come for her first? The dog? The woman the...

Consciousness fled her, she was overwhelmed by stress, pain and outright fear...

*

How long she was unconscious, she didn't know. When she revived, the pain in her leg was almost excruciating, she was cold and in shock and someone, assuming the human woman, had covered her with a blanket. Clawing at it, Nicole pulled it off her head, before her eyes widened as she seen a work colleague crouched beside her, a large syringe and needle held in her hand.

"Easy girl...where'd you come from? This won't hurt, I promise..."

As the needle slid home, Nicole shrieked in fright, feeling the cold tendrils of the anaesthetic rapidly dragging her back into the dark abyss....

*

Pain build on pain, as Nicole suddenly awoke, feeling a tube down her throat and sharp, agonising pain lancing from her leg. Unable to cry out, she did the next thing her terrified mind told her to do - she started struggling.

"Woah!" Someone squealed. "She should be out cold! Check the mask!"

Nicole fought against them, slashing with claws and kicking with her one good foot, before she rolled off the operating table and fell with a crunch to the ground, the tube pulled from her throat as she coughed and gagged helplessly.

"Hey...easy...easy!" Spoke Jennifer, as she waved the others off and crouched down, staying well out of Nicole's range. "Easy girl! You're hurt, you're scared and you have no idea where you are, what's going on and... Emily? Get the Tranquilliser rifle...we can't risk her - "

Listen to me! Nicole screamed, but all they heard was the terrified grunts and growls of a hurting, terrified Kangaroo.

"Shh, easy..." Jennifer whispered, gently reaching out to place a hand on Nicole's neck. "That's it, easy girl...nobody will hurt you..."

Nicole fought the instinct to attack, but from this position, there wasn't a lot she could do - she felt the wound in her leg bleeding, as she rolled her eyes and shuddered, feeling nausea clawing at her entrails. Panicking Nicole moaned and trembled, before she gripped at Jennifer's coat, wrapping the cloth around her paws.

_A pen..._come the fleeting thought, as she felt Jennifer start to shake.

Clumsily, Nicole grabbed at the pen, letting Jennifer go then clutching the pen in her paws as she struggled to pull it free from the pocket. Jennifer blinked, then pulled Nicole's paws away, right before there was a soft thwip sound and Nicole shrieked, feeling the dart hit her in the rump.

No..I need the pen, I can try too too write...

Her body began to turn cold, as the tranquilliser spread quickly through her bloodstream.

"Shh little one, its alright, sleep now..." Jennifer whispered, as she stroked Nicole's ears. "That's it..."

I need...

Nicoles whole body convulsed, before she gurgled and her eyes rolled back, as she slid to the floor, unconscious before her head slipped out of Jennifer's hands.

*

Nicole woke an unknown time later, finding herself in a dimly lit room that reeked of fear and pain. It was practically soaked into the soft straw on which she lay and the cold, impersonal concrete walls that surrounded her on four sides. As her vision cleared reluctantly, Nicole seen the heavy gated door and a concrete walkway outside.

Where am I...this isn't the clinic... Nicoles mind whirled, as she tried to make sense of it. Her leg burned like fire, as she twisted herself around, then blinked, seeing the large bandage that had been wound around her leg, taking almost half of it from ankle to mid-way up her calf.

I was bitten, savaged really and...and..._Nicole pressed her paws against her head, as she struggled to remember. _Clinic, they must have..oh...oh no...

Realisation suddenly started to form in her mind, as she looked around again, then tentatively got to her feet. Her leg ached like fire, but she managed to crawl over to the steel gate, clutching at it with her paws to hold herself upright. She could barely see other cell like doors, the cries and coughs of other kangaroo's reaffirming her terrified mind's answer she didn't want to imagine.

No...I'm at the Conservatory...they...they can't - I'm not a kangaroo, I'm a...

Footsteps come down the walkway, and Nicole tried to rattle the cage door, but it was sealed tight.

Let me out, please! Nicole screamed in terror, before a keeper arrived, then looked at her.

"Hey! Easy sweetheart, come on, calm down - you've been through a bad experience, and you've had more than enough tranquilliser to put you under - permanently - I don't understand how you're so awake and alert!"

_I'm not a kangaroo, I'm a human, can't you understand me?_Nicole screamed, but all he heard was the grunts and growls.

He frowned at her, then shook his head and wrote something on a clipboard, before checking the cage door was locked tight, as he moved off down the walkway, whistling.

*

For a month, she was confined to the recuperative ward as they called it - Nicole thought it was hell. For nearly a week, she refused to eat the kangaroo pellets they left for her in a bowl, but she did drink the water. Every two days, she would be darted again, then presumably, her wounded leg would be washed, sterilised and re-bandaged. Nicole would awaken in this dingy cell, slowly going out of her mind with boredom and frustration.

One afternoon, she heard footsteps and looked at the door from where she lay on the clean straw, half sitting up and half lying. Her ears flicked as she frowned, not recognising the footsteps. A strange human, one she didn't recognise as a keeper, appeared at the door, looking and smelling nervous. There was another scent, one she didn't understand, that clung to him...and it started to make her skittish.

He fumbled at the catch on her door, before he slid it open, then closed it behind him, as he looked at her, his eyes a few moments adjusting to the light, before he grinned maliciously and slipped a needle and syringe from his pants pocket.

"There's two ways this will go down little girl - " He grunted, as he uncapped the needle and squirted a little bit of the liquid from the syringe. "You submit here and now...or I'll drug you and we'll have our fun anyway..."

Eyes widening in fear, Nicole trembled and crouched, coughing in the marsupial cry of fear as she shook her head violently, her long ears slapping from side to side as she understood what he meant - and what he wanted to do to her...

No! You can't... Nicole screamed, but all that was heard was the guttural grunts as she slowly stood, then held her paws out in front of her in a negating manner, that he mistook for aggression.

"The other way it is then..." He smiled, as he walked closer, making her turn and fleet to the corner.

Where she crouched, her head whipping from side to side as she realised there was no where to flee too - she was trapped in here - and what he intended to do to her....

Panicked, she leapt without thinking, her paws grabbing at his shirt collar as she leaned back and kicked with everything she had - but her inexperience fighting like this meant she only winded him, the syringe falling from his hands as he staggered back and slammed against the wall, his head connecting with a loud crack. He gurgled, then stumbled towards her, hands out, before he croaked something unintelligible, before he dropped to his knees and fell face first on the straw - then Nicole screamed, seeing the blood that soaked the back of his head.

Terrified, Nicole fled to the gate, expecting it to be locked, then as she pushed against it, it swung open. As she crawled out, ears flicking forwards and back, she gazed to her left and right, not sure which way to go. Something inside her struggled to assert itself, before she hopped off to the left. Pushing through the door, she suddenly found herself in the staff room - and her eyes widened in fear as she seen six keepers suddenly stand and stare at her....

"Woah...how'd _you_get out..." One asked, who happened to be the closest.

Nicole pressed back against the door, feeling it latch shut behind her, as her wild eyes flicked left and right in fear and panic.

"She's terrified! Look at her!" Another spoke.

"Easy girl, hey...it's alright, nobody here will - hey, easy!"

Bounding to the left, then back to the right, Nicole began to panic, as they moved to cut her off, eventually backing her into a corner. One left the room via the other door, as they kept their distance and watched her. She crouched and shook with terror, knowing she was in deep trouble - but unable to find a resolution. Five humans against one inexperienced, terrified kangaroo...

This stand off ensued for about five minutes, before the keeper returned, bringing with him Jennifer, who took one look, then snarled at them and demanded they back off.

"She's dangerous - wild and - "

"Leave her alone, you're scaring her half to death!" Jennifer snapped, before they moved back, and she took their place, carefully kneeling down, so as not to appear threatening.

"Hey, easy sweety - " Jennifer spoke quietly. "It's alright, I'm going to get you out of here, okay? Your leg is healed, and I'm sure you've got a loving home, with people who love and care for you, don't you? You're someone's pet..."

Nicole didn't know why she did what she did - she just acted and fled to Jennifer, grasping her around the neck, then burying her head against Jennifer's throat and crying her heart out, the tears flowing as she grunted and coughed, her body shaking with the fear and pain.

"What the...hey, come on...easy girl!" Jennifer gasped, as she timidly stroked the kangaroo's back.

"She...what the hell?" One of the keepers moaned. "She's _not_feral? Like, wild? She's someone's pet?"

"Seems that way..." Another replied, equally perplexed and surprised. "Look at her, she's scared, hurting and not showing the slightest aggression or anger - she just wants to be held and cuddled..."

"Easy..." Jennifer whispered, then nodded to the keeper who had followed her.

He moved up behind Nicole, uncapping a needle and syringe, then as Jennifer gripped Nicole's nape, he moved forwards and slid the fine gauge needle into her neck and depressed the plunger.

Nicole shrieked and tried to pull away, but Jennifer held her, as the tranquilliser again worked its magick and Nicole's body went limp, Jennifer gently holding her up.

'I'm sorry little one - but I need you sedated, it won't hurt you...I promise, that's it, go to sleep - I'll take you to the clinic and see if we can't..."

Nicole's eyelids fluttered closed, the remained of Jennifer's words lost in the haze as the drug took her back down again.

*

Halfway back to the Clinic, Nicole gasped and twitched, before Jennifer blinked then frowned, pulling the van over and stopping it. Climbing out, she went around to the back and opened the door, to see Nicole trying to sit up, but she kept falling back down, her body still affected by the sedative.

"That's not right - ten CC's of that stuff, you should be sleeping until about 9pm tonight..."

_It's...me -_Nicole tried to tell her, but the confused look in Jennifer's eyes showed the message wasn't getting through.

Looking around, familiar with most of the contents of the animal transport vans, Nicole frowned and her paws grabbed a packet from the shelf then using her teeth, she tore it open and dropped it, her paws trying to spread it as evenly as she could, but they weren't as dexterous as she'd imagined.

"Hey! No, stop that!" Jennifer snapped, then slapped Nicole on the thigh.

With a growl of anger and frustration, Nicole snarled at her, then closed her eyes and concentrated like she was cramming for the final courses in Veterinary college. Her claws were pretty useless for her purpose, but she tried her best, as she started scratching at the powder.

"What are you doing?" Jennifer began, then her eyes widened as she watched the claw scratches form jagged letters.

H...E...

Jennifer shook her head, thinking she was imagining it, before Nicole grunted and slapped the van floor with a paw, in a distinctly 'look at this' indication, before she started clawing at the powder again.

L...P...

Jennifer's mind reeled, before she started wide-eyed. "You..."

Tapping her chest with her paw, Nicole grunted and barked, trying to get her point across.

"No...that's...that's not possible, Kangaroo's can't...they can't, they just can't!"

Nicole sighed and used her left paw to wipe away the letters, before she started to scratch again.

M...E...

Realisation slowly began to spread across Jennifer's face. "No..."

Frustrated, Nicole grunted, then looked at Jennifer, before clucking at her and grabbing at her shirt.

"What? What do you want?" Jennifer blinked.

Nicole growled and grabbed at the pen in Jennifer's pocket, before Jennifer pulled it out. Nicole snatched it from her hand, then used her teeth to pull the cap off, before she clutched it between her paws awkwardly, then looked for something to write on. Jennifer pulled her notebook out, and opened it, placing it before the kangaroo who grunted and snarled in frustration.

D...

Tearing the page out with her paws, she threw it away, then waited as Jennifer turned the next page.

R...

N...

I...

C...

This went on for over an hour, the Kangaroo's frustration growing, as she scrawled in barely legible capital letters.

"No...this - this can't be real! Dr. Nicole? It...it's you?"

Staring at the human woman, Nicole nodded her head vigorously.

Help...me- Was slowly scrawled out on the notepad, one jagged letter at a time, per page.

"I...how..." Jennifer moaned in disbelief. "You went home and...and..."

Nicole shook her head, then gripped Jennifer's hand, turning it over and trailing a claw along the index finger, then waited as Jennifer made the connection after several minutes.

"You cut yourself - there! I remember! How...how did..."

Nicole sighed and shook her head slowly, before thinking, then without warning, she lay her paw against her forearm and one claw drew a deep slash, as blood welled up. She whimpered, then growled threateningly at Jennifer, who moved to slap her hand over the wound. Nicole gestured with a paw at the blood, then growled again, more insistently and shook her head.

"The...blood? What...what about it...oh...no, that's not possible, its just not! That was a Red Kangaroo, someone's - pet? It had to be..."

Nicole sighed again, shaking her head, before she raised her paws to her muzzle and pulled her furred lips back - revealing distinctly un-kangaroo like canines. Letting the furred lips fall, Nicole began shaking, the tears sliding down her muzzle. Jennifer retrieved a sterilised gauze pad, then put it on the floor. Nicole picked it up and held it to the would she had inflicted, watching as it slowly stained red with her blood.

"You...I mean...I know_you Doctor Nicole, you're kind, gentle - a lovely person and...and...what will you do? Where can you go that you'll be safe? If others found out just..._how do I explain this?"

Shaking her head, Nicole barked and sighed, then looked at the torn pages, finding no solution there, just shook her head again. Resorting to the spilt powder, she began scratching it out one at a time.

"Help, please?"

Frightened, confused and bewildered, Jennifer's mind reeled. "Wait...no...my parents farm...they left it to me, I haven't been there since they...can we?"

With a frustrated sigh, Nicole began nodding her head, then made a strange waving motion with her paws, as if to say go!

Jennifer returned to the front seat, before she dropped the van into drive, and headed out of town. It would be a few hours drive, at least, but she wondered if she was making the right choice...if this -kangaroo­ -_really was Dr. Nicole, then - well - Jennifer still didn't believe it was possible, it just _wasn't!

As if reading Jennifer's mind, Nicole's low, frustrated growl come from the back of the van.

"Alright, we're going!" Jennifer chuckled softly. "Keep your fur on..."

A string of grunts, clicks and growls ensured, Jennifer was fairly certain she was thankful she didn't understand the speech, as she doubted it would be polite...

To Be Continued...