The Christmas Particle - A Quantum of Entanglements: Lightning Rod

Story by bluish_gecko on SoFurry

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#3 of The Troubledog Tailes: The Christmas Particle

As Thomas finds himself completely at the mercy of the coyotess who has him under her spell, the educational curriculum that she has in store for him sees him wired up for an involuntarily stimulating "paws-off" session...


1.2 Lightning Rod

Softly humming a Christmas carol to herself, the coyotess got to work. Examining the microcontroller Thomashad brought with him to control his personalized Christmas light show, she found to her surprise that the small computer was equipped with several extension modules: Microphone, an inertial measurement unit and a voltage converter to power further peripheral devices connected to the microcontroller itself. It seemed Thomaswasn't limiting his expertise to his work alone, but also was an apt electronics hobbyist. All the better for what she had in mind - repurposing the device for her own purposes would be even easier than she had anticipated. Given her own past experience with practical programming, she was decent enough at writing source code, but would still happily accept any facilitation provided - given she would get her paws on a notebook or desktop PC to connect Thomas' microcontroller to.

"Say ... you wouldn't accidentally have the device you programmed this littlecontroller with somewhere around here?"

Swiftly realizing Samantha's innocent question and the sweet, but sultry undertone in her question was very much the same one she had employed when asking him if he was going to submit to her for the duration of her lessons, he swallowed visibly, ears drooping - and eyes darting once ... twice towards the side of one of the workbenches in the room, his attempts to keep a straight poker face while finding himself under the coyotess' scrutiny being futile. What he had given away without wanting to turned out to be his backpack, having been laid aside and forgotten there since the last evening.

Looking over the contents of the wolf's backpack, Samanthaunpacked his laptop, a smile appearing on her muzzle.

"How thoughtful of you - I'll put this to good use! The password? No, don't tellme, there's no need to unmuzzle you ... let me see ..."

She tapped the Enter key, which served to unlock the notebook's screen without further ado; she flashed him another of her mischievous smiles: "So the rules of thecommoners really don't apply to the inner circle, hm?"

While the coyotess was occupied with hooking up the microcontroller to the notebook she had borrowed from Thomas, the wolf - with little else to do but straining to see or hear what the coyotess would be up to - watched with a mixture of unrest, jumpiness and perplexity as Samanthaproceeded to retrieve a soldering iron, an assortment of wiring and a pawful of small components from the lockers of the workshop.

Flashing her stripped and bound lover another of her sharp-toothed smiles, she set up the tools and components on a workbench right not two meters in front of Thomas. Pulling up another of the chairs in the room, she sat down - back turned towards her lupine companion - and started to assemble the collection of parts.

What the final product of her work would turn out to be? That was indeed an urgent question on the wolf's mind - indeed only surpassed by the question what purpose it would serve. And quite obviously, how it was connected to his current - no doubt prickling, stimulating, exciting - but predominantly anxienty-inducing predicament.

He was at her mercy - and despite her reassurances to free him immediately if he indicated he would no longer feel safe to play along - he did not want to back down. Silently having tested the knots the coyotess had used to tie him down, he had found them to be impervious. They were just tight enough to not cut off circulation in his hand and feet paws, and yet wrapped around his wrists and ankles firm enough to allow him no more than the smallest leeway. How and where his new lover had learned to tie up somefur this effectively - and what other surprises the coyotess might have in store for him. It was obvious that she was way more proficient in erotic matters than he was - how easily she had hustled him with her special attention only a few minutes ago, expertedly keeping him on the edge of an orgasm while tying him up at the same time had been a striking demonstration for that. Her kind were said to be tricksters, after all - how she had ... distracted him was testament to that.

However, Samantha was surely more than your average coyote, that much was obvious even to a casual observer - and blatantly clear to Thomas. To the rest of the world (including him), she had always been polite, but distant - a highly talented physicist, professional and disciplined, but clearly not desiring company outside her work life. He had gotten to know an two entirely different sides of her - one cheerful, affectionate, relaxed. The other ... deeply passionate, a fiery lover with an almost uncanny ability to lead her lovers (for he was certainly not the first one) to the highest peaks of passion.

And yet, this didn't seem to be her entire game - Thomas was nothing but sure that much of this indeed was a game for Samantha. Here he was, getting to know yet another side of the smaller canine first-paw: A side full of kinks and ... erotic mischief - subjects he wouldn't even have dreamt to explore, much less indulge in; he had been much too shy to do anything more than ... read up on these matters - theoretical knowledge could never hurt, right? Well, all that had abruptly changed about twenty minutes ago.

Her ... quantum well ... had been so enticing, irresistible. After the mind-blowing experience of their first, lust-fueled mating - where the coyotess had taken the initiative, rewarding him with an orgasm that still left him a bit light-headed for his compliance (obedience?), he had thought it to be a good idea to show a little initiative himself. Or ... maybe another part of his anatomy, one that once again stood proudly erect (not that he had much choice in that matter at the moment), had taken over a good part of the decision making in the ... heat of the moment.

What had appeared to be the best of ideas to him hadn't been seen by Samanthathe same way. Not at all, to be precise: She clearly didn't appreciate him taking the initiative ... or better, liberties he had taken without her consent at all. So he found himself here - tied naked to a chair, potentially for all the world to see. Even if the danger of being found like this was not really imminent considering it was Christmas night, the pair of canines being the only two employees on-premise until morning (with maybe the exception of security personnel), that danger was still there - with all the tremendous consequences getting caught like this at work would entail.

The nonchalant, care-free way Samantha behaved around him? He didn't really know what to make of it - yet another aspect of her that left him puzzled, wondering how much a ... situation like this was - well: Familiar routine for her. Being around a tied-up, bared to-the-fur male without giving off the slightest indication this might not be a completely ... normal evening at work? He desperately tried not to think of his raging erection - held upright by the coyotess' nimble knotwork - and was of course failing to do so miserably: Another detail, and a prominent one at that, of his current predicament that could hardly be seen in any other way than the smaller canine demonstrating (and exercising) her complete and utter domination over him.

Was she wanting him - waiting for him - to acknowledge her as his ... superior? His alpha female, if you were inclined to believe in that kind of social and psychological interpretations? He ... might have overstepped his boundaries, he was willing to openly admit that much. But this, it - it just was an ... excessive response! She didn't belittle or taunt him: Not that she had to; the insides of his ears, just as his snout and cheeks - well, everywhere his fur was not thick and lush enough to hide the skin underneath from view were beet-red. His body language, not including his bound arms and legs, was betraying his ... uncertainty facing this - to him - unique situation: Ears splayed, whiskers twitching, eyes flicking from one side of the room to the other. Swallowing nervously, head alternating between ducked, cocked to the side and hanging low - he certainly wasn't a paragon of self-confidence, and especially not at this very moment.

Still, despite his usually rather subdued disposition in social matters, there was enough - wounded - male pride left to feel ... challenged. If not outright defeated and subdued! That naturally - more a subconscious ... reflex than a conscious decision - could not go unanswered or unresisted. He would not - could not just submit to the coyotess! Even bound and muzzled, his most tender parts freely accessible to her: He would work up courage, will and strength to defy her! If only to show that he was not wax in her paws, ready to be molded and shaped however she would see fit.

Could Samantha read his thoughts? The moment he made this vow to himself, she finished meddling with her little project, getting up and walking over to him.

"Are you still comfortable, Thomas? No paws fallen asleep? No strainedmuscles?"

He looked her directly at her, not breaking eye contact as he shook his head no - sitting up straight, as far as his restraints were allowing him. Show defiance -whatever she will do with you, you won't yield!

His change in demeanor didn't go unnoticed by the coyotess, of course: Without turning a whisker, she stepped even closer - close enough to grab his ... crown jewels. First ever so slowly massaging him - drawing a feeble whimper out of him as he tried to push forward against his restraints to no avail - she suddenly squeezed down. Not hard enough to hurt the startled wolf in a serious manner, but hard enough to let him feel her blunt claws pushing into the soft tissue underneath.

"No ... limpness, or fatigue?"

The courage the bound wolf had vowed to display quite effectively collapsed under the grip the coyotess kept on his most prized pair of possessions.

"You've been letting your thoughts wander, Thomas, didn't you? Have you beenbusy trying to figure out what I am up to - why I'm up to it? Plotting for defiance - toput up resistance, a show of male superiority perhaps?"

Thomascringed under her astute assessment of what he had spent the last minutes thinking about - it was as if she was reading his mind!

"Idle minds think the devil's thoughts, hm? We need something to occupy yourmind, it seems - to really teach you to focus your attention - without having yourmind wander. Lacking the patience to await what will come next, and the self-controlto just wait and see? Tsk-tsk."

What Thomashad failed to notice until then was that Samanthahad kept her other paw behind her back, obscuring the microcontroller she had worked on over the last few minutes from view. She revealed the result of her handiwork to the wolf who had shrunk visibly - well, in every fashion but for his still proudly erect member - hearing the coyotess' words. The circuit board was unmodified, as far as Thomascould see - but several long cables had been attached to the board's GPIO connectors. To which pins, he could not recognize before the coyotess picked up the ends of two of the cables - ending in alligator clips for easy attachment to connector pins - and proceeded to start grooming his lush chest fur.

Under normal circumstances, Thomaswould certainly have been able to appreciate the fondling - as soon as the coyotess had located his right primary nipple, she squeezed and twisted the sensitive mammary gland - again not as much as to cause serious pain, but hard enough to make the wolf buck against his restraints. The not-so-tender treatment left the gland behind smarting, the offended tissue reacting with increased blood flow - which left the mammal gland ... easily accessible. Promptly, the first alligator clip found its destination. Before he could try to vocalize his protests - not that being muzzled would help with articulating anything meaningful - the same procedure was repeated with the left counterpart.

"Gnrnnrffnrglll!?!"

"Oh, now come on, pup! The clips can't be that bad, can they? Besides, they'rethere for a more than an ... aethetic purpose - what was the output voltage of thosepins again?"

A rhetoric question, of course - she knew the microcontroller wasn't capable of supplying more than five volts, amplified to twelve volts with a small adjustable transformer she had soldered into the wiring. Her captive's reaction to her disclosure was ... not enthusiastic, to say the least. Wildly shaking his head, he tried telling her something, however as to be expected not in an intelligible way.

"Grnnn! Fnbrnnnngllll!!!"

"What do you say? You don't want out? That is brave of you, and ... reallysweet, my dear! So ... are you or are you not curious what this setup is allabout?"

Vigorously shaking his head once more, Thomaswas probably trying to indicate he wasn't keen on learning what this was about in the first place.

"Mmmnglln? Nfrrglllnlln!"

"D'aw - students who are unwilling to learn, lacking curiosity? The worst! Youreally seem to require some motivation, don't you? So, this is how it works: Themicrocontroller's IMU is set up so it activates the GPIO power supply pins as soon asit registers a change in orientation or momentum. Patience and attention,remember? Which reminds me ... could you hold this thing for me? I forgot to pick upsomething from the locker room. Oh, right ... would you mind if I left this thing ...hold still, please."

And so the coyotess once again grabbed the wolf's snout, produced another set of cable binders from her pockets and carefully placed the microcontroller casing on top of Thomas' snout, securely tying it in place on the bridge of his nose. Flipping the power switch of the little device, she let go of her companion's muzzle - he reflexively tried to shake the unwanted addition to his predicament loose, with an instant effect: The simple control routines Samanthahad programmed for the small electronic device switched on the power supply pins, conducting a weak electric current through the connected cables - and the hapless wolf.

Physically compeletely harmless, the resulting ... stimulation, a mixture of pleasant prickle and low-threshold pain, made him whine and yelp, writhing in place - amplifying the effect of the feedback loop he had trapped himself in. Quickly realizing her lupine captive was not realizing it was his own writhing that caused the incessant flow of current, Samantha softly grabbed the sides of his snout to hold him still, the microcontroller immediately switching off its power supply as its sensors registered no more movement. She leaned in close, affectionately licking the side of his muzzle as she whispered: "Calm down, pup.See? If you sit still, everything is fine. As long as you are attentive andpatient, you have nothing to fear. Unless .... " - and with that, she lightly twisted his snout from left and right - "you insist on some stimulation, ofcourse."

Said stimulation followed on the spot, leaving the poor Thomas behind bewildered - and looking worriedly after the coyotess who had already started walking towards the exit of the small workshop, seemingly intending to leave him behind alone and diligently focused on holding his snout high and still. Whining once more - a pitiful sound - she briefly turned around just after having passed the door, sticking her head around the door frame.

"I won't be gone long, pup - so don't worry. I wouldn't miss out on entertainingyou on this fine evening for anything in the world. It's just ... I forgot to bringsomething with me from the locker room, something that will serve me well on thismagnificent night!"

And gone she was - wait, did she say will serve me well?

The coyotess quickly made her way towards the locker room, where she had left behind her winter garments stashed away in her personal locker. The specific garment she was looking for was her long, woolen winter scarf - it would serve perfectly to complement the further ... lessons she had in mind for her captive. He had trusted her enough to play along with her so far - and yet was so deliciously anxious and insecure, fretting and shying away from every further step she took with him. Once she had retrieved her scarf, she hurried to return to the small workshop where her - from his current perspective doubtlessly unfortunate - lover was waiting for her to return. There would be a few more steps in the unfortunate direction, as he was - in the truest sense of the word - bound to find out very soon.

While on the way back, she carefully lifted the scarf to her nose, deeply inhaling to sample the scent marking the garment: It bore the scent of her favorite mixture of parfumes and oils she worked into her fur on a daily basis - the smell of desert flowers, and the aroma of a desert morning after one of the rare rainfalls. The scarf had absorbed enough of her individual aroma to not be overpowering to a sensitive canine nose, but enough ti make it impossible to ignore - just what she had been looking for. Making sure she was still out of earshot, she stopped in the hallways on her way back - thoroughly starting to twist the scarf around itself into a makeshift rope. Some knotwork made sure the tightly wrung garment would not instantly unwind itself again, while leaving a few parts of the scarf free to return to their original shape as she let go of them. After a last inspection of her own handiwork, which it passed to her satisfaction, she returned to the workshop where Thomas was waiting for her to return, keeping the scarf carefully hidden behind her back.

The wolf had heard her approaching - unsurprisingly, given the inherent acuteness of a predator's sense of hearing. What did surprise her however was the greeting she received - she could hear him whining long before she rounded the last corner towards the entrance of the workshop. As soon as he caught sight of her, his whines took on an even more pitiful note, at the same time conveying a sense of desperate urgency. He was still holding his head perfectly still, and the microcontroller was still firmly attached to the bridge of his snout; so this couldn't be the cause of his desperate pleas. She quickly approached him, double-checking that her improvised solderwork - and improvised control program - would not have unintentionally conducted a constant current through her tied-up quarry while she was gone. It had not, thankfully - so she was at a loss for the reason behind his frantic, pleading whines for the moment. To be certain, she switched the microcontroller off.

She moved closer, carefully caressing the side of his snout, trying to calm the wolf down, who was apparently on the verge of panicking.

"Thomas - calm down. Do you want to stop?"

At her touch, he started to calm down a little - his whining subsided, his breathing became more measured. He looked directly at her, shaking his head noafter a few seconds.

"Oh ... do you need a - bathroom break?"

Again, the wolf shook his head no. He nuzzled into her paw that was still carressing the side of his snout, his eyes again fixating hers. It immediately struck her what was the reason for the wolf's panicked demeanor.

"You ... you were afraid - that I would leave you here alone, like this?"

This time, the wolf vehemently shook his head yes. He ... he had truly been so afraid of being left alone like this it had brought him to the verge of panic?

"Thomas- I ... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have played with your ... fear like this. Iwould never betray the trust you've shown me - never!"

At that, she planted another kiss on his nosepad before pulling him into a close embrace, letting his snout come to rest on her shoulder. Whispering in his ear, she wanted - needed - to make sure if he was still committed and willing to continue or not.

"Are you certain - and I mean absolutely certain - that you don't want to stop?Don't want me to stop, that is?"

She was surprised to feel him lean into her, his snout nuzzling into the fur of her cheek. Despite her ... speedy pace at introducing him to - shall it be called advancedmeans of inciting, expressing, fostering passion - he clearly was uncertain, even afraid just like now. But still, he showed no sign of giving up. If by male bravado or, by curiosity, by having developed a true crush on her - or maybe a combination of all that? That remained to be seen. And, alluringly, for her to find out.

Still waters run deep, the saying went. Thomas's placid, subdued exterior did hide the predator inside well, but it wouldn't be enough to contain him if he was given enough reason to break free. She was keenly intent on making any relationship she would enter one that stood on an equal footing, where both she and her lover - lovers - could enjoy and express their own forms of bodily pleasure. And, more importantly, their own ways of showing passionate affection - as long as their partner was comfortable with it. Her original plans for this secluded night together with Thomas would need some adjustment, if she was to ... help him along in discovering the less subdued side of his own personality - the trickster's way, of course.

A ... slightly ... gentler approach to secure his complete and undivided attention. Showing him that the trust he put in her was mutual, by telling him what she had only shared with few others in her life: The story of her upbringing, how she had become the canine she was. Finally, inviting him over to her apartment - to spend the day until their last night shift together. If he accepted, she would do her best to reward him for his - she would simply call it not opting-out - during the night.

"We'll still be alone here for a while. So why don't we make this arrangement abit more comfortable for you?"

The prospect of ... less restraining arrangements made the wolf perk up his ears. Though the cable binders and velcro straps Samantha had used to securely tie him up against the chair he was seated on were just tight enough to keep him in place without causing him any real discomfort, he would definitely welcome any increase in mobility.

"Let's take care of that cute snout of yours first, shall we?"

She ever so carefully undid the pair of cable ties that held his snout shut. For good measure, she did take hold of his jaws to shush him before he had the chance to speak.

"You're not entitled to talking privileges again, mister! Something to drink and eatfor you, before we find a better solution to keep this cute snout of yours neatlyshut?"

Thomas answered with a slight nod after she had let go of his snout, refraining from speaking - and not wanting to entice the coyotess to further educativeideas by violating the no talking privileges rule. Food and drink were quickly procured from the Christmas surprise party leftovers. Not loosening his restraints, Samantha instead opted to feed Thomas tidbit by tidbit, interspersed with sips of (non-alcoholic) beverages. To her delight, the wolf accepted her feeding him without any sign of complaint - even to the contrary: He patiently waited for the next bit of food and the next sip of drink until it was offered by her. Finally, with his hunger and thirst satisfied, he gently nuzzled the side of her paw when he was sated, shaking his head to indicate he was fine.

With that, Samantha produced the intricately repurposed scarf she had kept hidden since returning to the secluded workshop, unfolding it into its intended shape: That of a muzzle, the coyotess' knotwork allowing it to be adjusted around the wolf's head and neck.

"I have something more comfy for you - care to try this on instead?"

Thomas didn't flinch as she approached him with the contraption, to her pleased surprise. He allowed her to fit the scarf-turned-muzzle over his head and snout without protest, remaining still even as she drew the muzzle taut, snugly making it fit his facial features. Adjusting it here and there, she kept the best part of her play for the ending: Where her makeshift muzzle was wrapping around the front of her lover's snout, she had kept a small extra length of the scarf, fit to be pulled over the wolf's nosepad and nostrils - making sure he would be sampling her personal scent with every breath he took. To his credit, he didn't display any visible sign of surprise. His breathing however was quickly becoming deeper and faster as soon as he was exposed to a more - concentrated - amount of the coyotess' individual scent. Just as she had hoped, he was taking the ... odolfactory encouragement with the expected enthusiasm. Good - time to move on with the night's lessons.

"Say, Thomas... what do you know about Benjamin Franklin?"

Her question, and the sudden change of subject, served well to pull Thomas's attention back to her - his look had quickly taken on a slightly dreamy quality after she had muzzled him again, her scent providing an alluring distraction to the wolf's sensitive nose - a distraction he had swiftly started to indulge in.

"Benjamin Franklin, the politician, philosopher and inventor. He was acolleague of mine - well, sort of, at least. He is credited with the invention ofthe lightning rod, did you know? He discovered that one can neutralize alightning strike by providing a means to attract lightning with a groundedconductor."

That did get his attention, judging by his perked-up ears and cocked head.

"You may wonder what this has to do with you, here and now? Well, with youbeing an engineer, I think it won't hurt if you take a few physics lessons outsideyour own domain of expertise. The lighting rod is such an excellent paws-onexample that should be right up your alley, being so much about electricityand all. So ... we'll need two ingredients for this: A source of current ..."

Trailing off mid-sentence, she brought forth the microcontroller again that so far hadn't seen renewed use. Crossed eyes observed - not without a certain degree of concern - how the device was strapped onto his snout once more, the original pair of alligator clips fixed to his primary pair of nipples again. Samantha wasn't done yet - an extra pair of cables that had previously been unused joined the assembly.

Finishing the sentence, she stepped closer to him - really close. Her paws found their way between his legs, where ... little Thomas still stood at full attention. Not that he would have minded the gentle attention the coyotess' roaming paws paid to the most sensitive parts of his canine physique - on the contrary. The alternating sensations of paw pads and soft, short fur on - between paw fingers brushing over knot, shaft and tip ... oh, and the grey-furred twin orbs below ... were exquisite. Only slightly less blissful than the treatment the coyotess' tongue and snout had afforded him before she had ... tied him, leaving his member fully exposed and unable to withdraw into the sheath that would have normally concealed it.

Between the short and rhythmic thrusting motions his current tied-up posture allowed him, he registered that the pressure from the cable tie that had held his knot fully inflated so far unexpectedly lessened: Samantha's paws had released the tie, allowing full circulation again, adding a pleasant tingling sensation on top of the attention paid by the coyotess. The fondling and caressing went on for untold seconds - long enough to let the wolf fall into a pleasant haze that focused on the culminating arousal brought on by his lover's teasing.

Meanwhile, Samantha was careful not to overstimulate the poor wolf - after all, she wanted to keep him on his pawtoes, eager and ... in constant need for a release that he would have to earn through her approval. Her distraction - at that, male lovers were adorably easy to predict - worked its magic yet another time: It was a simple matter to slide the two metal strips formed into rings that adorned the ends of the cable pair that now saw its first use over his engorged member.

Thomas did notice that the sensations the most precious part of his anatomy reported had changed drastically: Warm and soft had changed to two annoyingly cold spots that brought back the dreaded constriction that had dared to deny him release. Oddly enough, this time whatever had just been wrapped around Thomas junior wasn't a perfectly tight fit, leaving a slight measure of slack. Samantha's stance had changed as well: Only one paw remained between his legs, cupping both of his orbs. The other one found its mark under his chin, keeping his snout in place as the coyotess placed another of her tender kisses at the tip of his maw. It then continued - unnoticed by the recipient of the kiss - to connect a jumper cable and then found the on switch of the microcontroller which dutifully resumed following set the instructions Samantha had given it.

" ... and a grounded conductor."

When the coyotess finished her own sentence, poor Thomas tumbled from cloud number nine back to reality in the blink of an eye: The flow of current resumed - both through his mammaries ... and his still painfully engorged best piece. It wasn't discomfort that made him buck and thrust, but the pure shock of low-threshold electric stimulation triggering basic reflexes - without his say-so! He found himself helpless to stop thrusting forward - a reflex he only remembered to well from the passionate union with his captor only a short while ago.

"I assume that I have your full and undivided attention, dear?"

To his puzzlement, the stimulation provided by the mild electric ... encouragement to his private parts rose and fell with the words spoken by the coyotess. And that on top of the inertial measurements - as he learned the prickling way as he tilted his head in surprise, to his frustration making him thrust within the confines of his constraints even harder.

"Let's up the ante - this round, you won't only want to hold still. I took the libertyto add the ambient level of sound the microphone on this practical little device ofyours records to the control loop."

Lowering her voice to a whisper and putting her index paw finger at the tip of his snout, a trademark trickster smile found its way to her muzzle.

"So you might want to avoid loud noises. So ... what shall we do for the rest ofthis lovely Christmas evening? Let me think ..."

Samantha - letting go of Thomas's valuables and leaving him ... dangling on his chair - made her way to one of the other work chairs situated across the length of the workshop, while the wolf was painstakingly trying to keep still and quiet at the same time. Given the stimulation even subdued noises like the coyotess' steps and her whispered words were causing - thus prompting him to give in to his natural reflexes - this was not an easy feat to accomplish.

Samantha choosing to drag the chair she chose to sit upon across the entire length of the workshop - from the wolf's perspective in extra slow-motion, definitely didn't help him to maintain his composure either. Not in the least, in fact: The rapidly oscillating current that followed no regular pattern was dangerously close enough to break his concentration - already putting his ability to keep his mind focused on just sitting still to the test during the short period of time the coyotess it took for the coyotess to cross the room with her chair in tow. How ... how was he supposed to keep his contenance for - hours to come?

Mercifully, the coyotess reached her intended destination, sitting down on her own chair only half a meter directly across of him.

"How about that - we'll just talk. Or better - I'll talk and you listen, seeing thatyou're currently ... indisposed?"