Chapter Ten: The Reset Button
Much to the distaste of many a reader (or so it would seem, given the recent drop in ratings) I am going to continue the shorter chapters simply because I feel they give the story more of an "actual" book-like quality. Yes, this will probably be my downfall in the end, but it's a choice I'm going to make in stride. Hopefully I'll figure something out sometime in the near future as to how I really want to portray this series. Meh...
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I couldn't have killed him. I didn't hit him that hard. He's not dead. No, no, no, no, no, no... he's just asleep. He's not dead. He's not dead. He's not dead...
No matter how much I told myself otherwise, it didn't change what had happened in a matter of seconds. Tera continued screaming out, which only made the situation seem worse. Johnny couldn't have been dead, though... could he?
Everything was happening so fast now. I could feel my throat constrict, making my breathing nearly impossible. Panic was stealing away my breath. My senses were becoming dulled. No longer could I see clearly, nor did my mind make sense of what was happening. It was like someone was putting layer upon layer of wax paper of my entire body.
"Oh, God... Why Matt, why?" Tera begged as her paws viciously groped Johnny's now still body. In truth, I couldn't answer. I didn't hit him that hard. There was no way that I killed him. There was no way that my anger gave me the drive enough to kill him.
As if to make things worse, my ears flicked as a high-pitched squeal broke through the layers of fuzz. It sounded like the charge of the flash on a professional-grade camera. My eyes immediately shot around, looking for the source. There were no cameras anywhere, that I was sure of. What I wasn't sure of was what made my heart begin to skip beats. No matter where I looked there was nothing to be seen.
Tera continued to paw at Johnny's still body. I felt worse. Yet through it all the same shrill whining noise persisted in my ears. Shrugging it off--at least, trying to--I took one step toward Tera, hoping to start apologizing. The autonomous thought made me want to retract the step sooner had she not turned to shoot a glare so full of hate it actually pushed me back.
"You stay away from me you sick fuck!"
Her words cut deep. Maybe it was because they had come from her and were directed at me, but I felt like my heart was being ripped out all over again. Why did all of this have to happen? What made her do what she did? Wait, she was the one that did this to me! She was the one that...
I took one more step toward her and she let out a deep, threatening growl. "I'm the sick fuck?" Her ears lifted slightly. "I'm not the one who went and slept with my friend you fucking slut!"
I was on the offensive and couldn't have felt worse. I didn't want to call her that, and I don't know why I did. The words just slipped out of my mouth. She felt the ferocity in my voice as her ears flattened against her head and she started crying. Between waves of sobs I heard her say, "I didn't mean to... it just happened."
Oh, how I wanted to believe her, so much so that I did. But, no matter how sorry either of us felt, the fact still remained: I killed my friend. I killed someone. Then I was bombarded with memories; past murders flashing back to me with gruesome detail. The truth was... I had become a murderer; a cold-hearted killer. I felt ill and the contents of my empty stomach came back to haunt me as I fell to my knees in a fit of dry heaves.
Everything was happening so fast. That intolerable wailing noise had come back and was even louder than before, and it was giving me a headache to match how the rest of my body felt. For the umpteenth time I wanted to die. I wished I had the testicular fortitude to curse God for the hand He played me.
I was still hunched over when I heard Tera's distinct voice pronounce a phrase that didn't make any sense, "What the... hell?!"
My first inclination was to turn my head. Bad idea. I was sent into another series of dry heaves, leaving me gasping for breath. With one eye barely open I saw something even more gut-wrenching than my current disorientation. Behind Tera stood a hideous figure, its shape disfigured and contorted, making it look like an animal more than anything else. A shadow seemed to be hanging around it, like a cloud of dust, but thicker and darker.
The creature let out a slow and raspy breath, and even while he was yards away I felt as though he was breathing directly on me. The foul stench of sulfur and scorched flesh filled my nostrils. It exhaled another heavy sigh and raised a smoking arm. Wait... its arm is smoking? I thought, realizing that it was, indeed, smoke pouring from the creature's very skin.
Before I knew what it was doing there was a gory slashing sound followed by loud gurgling and gagging noises. The creature's arm was down and Tera's paws were clenched tightly around her neck. Immediately the progression of each step filed into order. Arm goes up, arm goes down, gagging noises, paws go to neck. A sight more appalling and graphic than any horror movie I'd ever seen came into view. My head started to spin as my vision blurred.
Every cognitive synapse in my mind was gone, leaving me with only the inclination to escape as quickly as possible. The creature, who appeared to be finished with Tera, snapped its head in my direction. Escape must not have been something it was going to allow. I tried to move--I tried to breathe--but something was keeping me from doing anything. I wasn't even able to look away as the hideous being made its slow approach toward me.
The very concept of what was coming for me seemed impossible, yet purely accurate given the past months' activities. An apparition, gliding through air, was nearing me. A shiver of realization swept through me. I am going to die here. My sight faded to black.
Ghastly noises. A throat congested with decades of regret continued gasping for breath. Hands covered in the innocence of millions shook with fear. There was a war being waged outside my thoughts. Death was waiting for me to open my eyes; waiting so that I may witness my own death.
My heart slowed to a halt, as did my breathing. Fear-induced panic spread through me like a cancer. A third-person view came into focus. There I lay, quivering under the shadow of a shadow. Then an arm was raised. It held suspended in the air as though questioning its necessity. Did that mean I was already dead? My thoughts raced in circles as the lackluster creature moved down to my now motionless body. Those thoughts turned to shock and a cold-sweated fear as the arms positioned themselves on either side of my face, contorting in a way that had only one purpose: assurance.
Crack!
Without warning I shot up. My pupils made the slow adjustment to the dimly lit room I found myself in. As my thoughts raced, no sure explanation came to mind. No longer was I outside, but rather awkwardly angled on a mattress. I found sight through my own eyes instead of by an outside source. I was panting heavily, and my fur was soaked in sweat. Something stirred beside me and I let out a cry.
Tera's confused face came staring out of a tight bundle of patterned cloth. In my current state, I was thrown for a complete loop. She wasn't as she tilted her head, "You okay sweetie?"
By the time she spoke I was already backtracking toward a wall. "Y-you-you're dead! I'm dead! The thing... where is it?!"
"Matt, you were having a bad dream. Just calm down," she rose from the bed and moved toward me, "and hold still."
I couldn't remember key details of what had just transpired. There was only a disfigured image in my mind and the knowledge that it had killed the both of us. Tera was in front of me, cradling my head on her shoulder. She was dead. I was dead. We were dead. But no, she was holding on to me as a shook with a distilled nervous apprehension.
* * * * *
It was three o' clock in the morning. Ten minutes past my nightmarish episode and I was calm enough to at least speak without a quiver in my voice. Tera and I had moved from the floor back to the bed, and had proceeded to cuddle. I no longer had any recollection of the nightmare, much to my liking.
Two more minutes of quiet closeness and I was relaxed enough to begin to slowly nod off to sleep. Tera was already there as I noticed her breathing had slowed and a breathy snore escaped from her lips. Even while she slept she was still the most beautiful woman in the world. There were occasional difficulties that we had, but we continued to survive past them and become closer. At least, I thought as much.
She was my reason for wanting to continue. Yet even though she was right in front of me, I still felt as though there was a small wedge between us. I had continuously been distant from her, no matter how hard I tried to stay close. Because of my failing to cope with the hand dealt to me, I had forced my own problems onto her. Before any of this, I had thought that I could easily take care of my own problems. Before I became part of everything, I thought that I could take care of myself. I noticed Tera was still lightly snoring and decided to further depress myself in the morning.
* * * * *
Something out of place caused my mind to unhurriedly stir from unconsciousness back to reality. My body was a leisurely second to regain a live status, even though I remained motionless. I went over possible explanations for the disturbance, and came to a sole conclusion: I still had an underlying sense of paranoia from the nightmare.
Still, I figured that, since I was awake, I might as well have some productive use out of it. Tentatively I tapped Tera's shoulder until she rubbed her paws over her eyes and focused on me. "Care to go for a walk?"
It was still dark out, with the sun barely starting to rise above the horizon. By my guess, it was probably around five o' clock, but I was nowhere near sure enough to bet money on it. The lack of light made it seem colder than it actually was, but neither Tera nor I complained. Fully clothed the cold weather was laughable, even with every exhale leaving a puff of smoke rolling out from our lips. Seeing Tera in a t-shirt and jeans made me realize just how long it had been since first seeing her in such attire, and how much I actually missed it.
"You look wonderful, Tera," I complimented, trying to spark some conversation.
Looking away, she smiled and stretched her arms out behind her head. Craftily I moved behind her and wrapped my paws around her waist. Somewhat awkwardly straddling her steps I pressed myself as close as possible to her. When she stopped abruptly I nearly tripped in a mess of legs. Her head turned back and she gave a simple whisper, "I'm glad that you got everything worked out."
Where it came from, I don't know, but it left me with a strange feeling; an uneasy sense of failure, like I hadn't finished something important. I mentally shook it off and tried to concentrate on other things. Tera was close to me, it was a beautiful morning, I was alive, and things were going great.
For two whole hours we treaded softly throughout campus. Every building seemed like a distant memory, yet I still recited detail after detail of information about each and every locale. Tera showed a fascination with each sentence. I prayed that I wasn't becoming another history-induced lecturing machine, also known as nearly every single professor who had ever taught here.
A disturbing idea kept running through my mind as I realized more and more that the entire campus was empty, "What do you think happened to everyone? I mean, it's late August. There should be students here. I remember there always being people hanging around here, but now there's no one. It's eerie."
With a nod she agreed, but we continued nonetheless. Before I knew it, I found myself looking at the edge of campus, opposite that of Rynkort's chateau. "So, maybe we should start heading back," Tera suggested.
As if on cue, the second we started to turn a large group of birds sprang from the treetops some distance away, just in time for the sound of gunshots to reverberate off the aging buildings. My immediate reaction was to turn to Tera, ready to heal any wounds inflicted upon her. A realization moments later caused my eyes to cease their visual groping on her and turn to the source of the firing.
No more than a hesitant step toward the trees and Tera's paw was tugging me in the opposite direction. "Tera, what are you doing? That sounded like it came from Rynkort's house! We've got to go back and get them," I commanded, making little progress on account of being pulled back at an awkward angle. She made no such inclination to stop, but only continued to attempt to run with me in tow. "Stop," yelling this time, she stopped as I continued, "we have got to go back! Johnny and everybody else is still back there! They might be in danger, and I'm not going to be solely responsible for their deaths simply because I didn't help!"
"Matt! You have to understand that, in all possibility, everyone is dead. The chance that a well organized legion of highly trained soldiers dead-set on capturing and-or eliminating their targets failing is too highly improbable for me to risk our lives. We have to simply escape while we still can."
Her tone gave every inclination of seriousness. The reasoning behind her strange actions was lost to me. Nevertheless, I pressed forward toward Rynkort's house, praying that I arrived soon enough to be of some assistance. "I am not about to let the only other cognitive Anthros get killed because of the sole reason that 'they might already be dead,' okay? Now let me go!"
Her paw relinquished its grasp and I nearly tumbled. As I gazed back, I saw that she had her head down and her paws were delicately folded over her thighs. "Mr. Furr, what if I told you that everything you have experienced these last few months has been the conjuration of a government-funded corporation bent on testing the morality and ethics of psychosomatic comatose patients?"
My head tilted as the thought made my pupils dilate. If everything has been...
"Mr. Furr, this entire experience has been nothing but a dream. It is time for you to wake up now."
She bowed her head politely as my vision blurred, then faded to black. I don't want to wake up...