FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Starlight kissed a city that rose for the bruised blue and black of the evening. The sunlight had kept Birden deep in a bright slumber tue the moon beckoned as the lights flickered on one by one. Businesses opened and people poured out onto the streets in a variety of species from beast-kind to human and more. Muffled music in the form of blaring saxophones and sharp violins came through brick walls as lounges and clubs cast open the gates. Street performers added to the music, dancing beneath twisted spire lanterns while lovely creatures dressed in soft silks and sequins offered a soft bed and a passionate evening for anyone with enough coin. With a keen eye, you could see that the street performers closest to the prostitutes had various weapons tucked away either on their person or in and under the cases they carried their instruments in. Generally, no one bothered performers of any kind on the street or otherwise. The crowds packed together on the sidewalk with a collective buzz of voices joining the nightly music. Despite the reverie, there were gazes among the crowd with half-lidded eyes and dark circles beneath them. One such amber pair belonged to someone who looked human enough with Almond skin and black tousled hair tied back in a small tail. He wore a hoodie and jeans, both with various tatters and tears here and there. A yawn revealed pointed fangs like the teeth on a saw and a stray hand brushing through his hair reveal sharpened ears. The changeling separated from the crowd to head down an alley, bright lights fading behind him as his steps echoed against the walls. He kept on walking until he reached a lantern hanging off of a building and looked up in time to see a figure cloaked in shadows drop to the ground.

The figure rose until it took the shape of a large bat with dark-fur and long tail. Its wings were tipped with thin hands that came out toward him only to clasp together while a pearly white grin with fangs appeared along with two peering green eyes. A voice appeared as rich as chocolate from that grin, "Hello dear Vrede. Would you be in the market for--"

Vrede answered without waiting for the offer to come out, "Nope."

"But what about--"

Again the answer came, "Nope." But then he added, "I just want to get to work and get the evening started. Y'know?"

The bat drew themselves up to full height and folded their wings with a sigh, "You really can't blame me for trying. I don't see too many people coming down here and I figure a fella like you could use what I have to offer."

Vrede stepped around the bat to start walking while muttering, "This is just another pitch to try and get me to buy."

"True!" said the bat as they followed along, "But you also can't blame me for trying again."

"Why are you following me?" Asked the changeling with a sigh.

"Because I'm hungry and where you work has good takeout." Said the bat with a chuckle.

"Fair enough," He left it at that and kept walking with his gaze locked on the path ahead of him only lit by moonlight and flickering lanterns.

The alleyways weren't as cramped as they could be and even between the buildings you could hear the sound of brass and wind instruments. Those sounds did little to dull the noise of the bat walking close enough that they were almost shoulder to wing. Words began to spill from the bat's mouth echoing in the alleyway as they went down steps and looped around corners and more but he didn't retain a single thing coming out of the bat's mouth. The one-sided conversation only served to irritate him as each word stacked atop of one another like little pins in the side of his head. Vrede remained quiet through the entire exchange while occasionally nodding or shrugging. If he forgot to or didn't care enough to go through the motions, the bat would nudge his shoulder.

A voice at the back of his head whispered, "Hey. You should tell him to fuck off." Vrede hoped that the voice in his head would go away but his prayer remained unanswered as the words continued, "C'mon, don't ignore me. You and me are one in the same baby, besides, it's better if you answer me now and get the conversation over with instead of letting me run my fat mouth until you're ready to yell."

Vrede finally answered, careful not to say the words aloud, "Telling him to shut up would be rude. I can grin and bear with it for a little while. He isn't so bad even if he's a bit dim when it comes to reading the room."

"Ohhh, I see...So lonely that you'll let any ol' fellow with a cute smile follow you wherever you go?"

He struggled to keep the blush off of his face, "You know that isn't the case. I don't even have to tell you anything because you're in my head and no matter how much I want it to not be true, we're the same creature."

Ertru chuckled, the sound echoing like gentle bells in his mind, "Sensitive. Always so sensitive. I suppose if you're admitting we're the same creature you're ready to accept me fully and achieve peace?"

"No." He muttered to himself aloud.

The bat walking next to him asked with a tilt of the head, "Something wrong Vrede?"

For a moment, he raised his head thinking that the smiling bat had somehow read his mind. When he realized his mistake, he placed a hand at the back of his head and cleared his throat, "No. Nothing's wrong. Just the usual thing. Y'know."

"Ah! Not worry. I have a suppressant for that! As I told you, I figured that you would need what I have." Said the bat with a big grin.

"Uh, wait. I don't have the money for that kind of thing." He said trying to fumble through an excuse.

The bat took his hand and opened it before placing something cool and smooth on his palm, "Then take a sample and come back tomorrow night. Maybe you buy, maybe you don't but you really need to get that demon in the head thing figured out. It fucks with you if you're constantly fighting yourself. Anyway, hope your evening at work goes well! Bye, bye now."

Before he could return the pill, the bat stepped through a glass door. Vrede hadn't realized that they had arrived at his workplace but here it was. He looked up at the small restaurant wondering if he was late or not while standing beneath the glare of the neon sign hanging above the door. His gaze then trailed down at the pill in his hand and felt the presence at the back of his head writhe in response to the barest thoughts entertaining the idea. It had the color of a drop of wine and had a similar size to it. Getting rid of the back and forth in his head for one night wouldn't solve any of his problems. It wouldn't help him pay rent and wouldn't help him find a drive. He sighed and pocketed the pill before heading inside the store.

Ertru's voice came quietly, "Glad to know that you're not going to sedate me. We both know that all I'm doing is looking out for you. I want you more open to yourself, even if it means going a bit wild. Crack some skulls, fuck some people; live a little and let it all out. Bottling things up, letting yourself fall into this dangerous loop isn't doing anything for you." After a small pause, the voice added, "That's all I wanted to say. I'll leave you alone until your shift is up."

He didn't bother thanking the demon inside of him but those moments of mutual respect were part of the reason why he didn't want to take the pill. Somehow, someway, they could get to an eventual understanding. At the same time, Vrede felt unsure of what to do. To give in to the demon or find comfort in whatever strand of humanity flickering inside of his body; both options meant some sort of change in personality and maybe even appearance. As a changeling, having that option between human or demon seemed palatable on the outside but it usually meant that puberty and growing up in general involved arguing with yourself. For Vrede, the arguments had died down to tired disagreements and grumbling whenever Ertru decided to taunt and tease him. Worse than needing to figure out several layers of self were the looks that people gave him. Even entering the familiar beige-tiled restaurant his presence earned him a few sideways glances. People liked to say that Changelings were unstable, were strange and often muttered to themselves. Thankfully, he had a job to think about instead of those stares and whatever preconceived notions people had about him and his kind.

The old goat who went by the name Boss was waiting at the front counter where a small pane of glass separated the kitchen from the rest of the eatery. He had a meat cleaver in hand and waved it precariously while calling out, "You were almost late Vrede! Get in the back and get to work! I can't do everything myself damnit."

Vrede figured that the old grey goat's statement was a lie. Despite his employer's age, Boss had run a small beef and noodle bowl business in the alleys without anyone's help for years. He had only hired Vrede because well, Vrede had been desperate. Before the cleaver made any more motions toward his head, he walked through the door leading to the kitchen to get his hands washed and his apron put on.

Work served as a good distraction from any stray thoughts. It wasn't just the yelling but the fact that his body had to be moving at all times carrying something from one place to another, chopping whatever needed chopping, and tossing various ingredients into pots. The old man handled most of the cooking but barked orders to get Vrede to watch certain pots or start new burners. It might've been a small eatery but there were still plenty of people coming around.

Sometime during the night, the old goat clapped a cloven hand on his shoulder and rumbled, "Break time."

Vrede blinked, "Huh? Oh...Right. I can keep working through my break."

Boss rubbed his chin and looked at him up and down before scoffing, "No. Sit your ass down at a table near the kitchen door and I'll get you something to eat. Need more workers around here though, can't have you looking like you're about to pass out every evening."

He responded in a wry tone, "I always look like that."

"That's what I mean! Still, you're stronger than you look and I appreciate what you do. You'll get a bit extra tonight for your work."

Vrede sucked in pride along with a breath and simply said, "Thank you, sir."

With that said, he headed out of the kitchen to take a seat and wait. It wasn't long before Boss came out with a steaming bowl and chopsticks. He set them down along with a cup of water and left Vrede to his devices. The warmth of the broth alone breathed new life into his body. He knew better than to take his time but he savored each quick bite of noodles and meat until he finished.

"Should ask for more." Said a quiet voice at the back of his head, "Even with a little extra here or there this job sucks. Too much work for not enough pay. So what if he's nice. He's taking advantage of you."

He stared down at the empty bowl and kept his words to his mind this time, "It's all I got right now. Next time I'm off I'll look for something better."

"Will you? C'mon, let's not kid ourselves. You're desperate for something mundane, for something routine and this is the best that you think you'll get. What are you hoping for here? To run yourself into the ground? To burn out and never wake up?"

Vrede got up with the bowl in both hands and said quiet enough that no one could catch his voice, "Maybe."

Those words earned no response from the demon. With nothing else to say and his lunch finished, he headed back to the kitchen to wash the bowl, his hands, and get back to work. The evening progressed the same as it had before. Getting yelled at, moving from place to place, chopping, filling pots, washing dishes and occasionally getting one or two gruff compliments from Boss. By the time Vrede finished his shift, he felt exhausted. The wear and tear of the evening clung on him like weights hanging off of his arms and shoulders. He said his goodbyes to his employer and headed out the door before allowing the exhaustion to tug his arms down, body sagging as he breathed out. While the music continued to play off in the distance, it was time to go home.

No one bothered him on the way back except for the usual suspects on the sidewalks advertising their wares and bodies once or twice before letting him go. He stopped at a small building made of chipped bricks with a street lamp hanging near the entrance. Vrede headed through the door and let it shut behind him while he pulled out his phone. He looked down and flipped through some colorful colorful pictures as he went through the motions. The mail could wait until tomorrow morning so he walked toward the stairs near the back, avoiding the rail that jutted out too far from the stairs while taking the first step. When he got to the second floor, he headed down the hall to his door. Most of the other tenants were out either enjoying themselves, working a job or both leaving his floor quiet. It was the kind of silence that carried a low hum as if you could hear the wires and pipes of the building trying to sing. That buzz was more musical to him than the usual jubilee happening outside on the streets. When he got to his door, he stopped looking at his phone long enough to unlock it and head on through.

One room awaited him with a bed with a lone laptop atop of it and a window hanging above it along with a small kitchen off to the side. A few articles of clothing laid on the floor near the bed but the rest of the apartment seemed clean if not a bit compact. The door shut and he took a few steps inside before tossing his phone on the bed. Tomorrow would be more of the same and he knew he needed to take care of himself to prepare for that. At the same time, he found it difficult, difficult to care about eating, about showering and about generally maintaining himself when exhaustion crept in every corner of his life.

"Gonna sleep?" Asked the voice in his head.

Vrede answered aloud now that they were far away from prying ears, "Yeah."

"Not going to eat at least."

He grumbled, "Had food already this evening."

"Sun's not even close to coming up yet so sleep is probably not a great idea for your schedule and food? You had one bowl of meat and broth. At least take out some of those crackers and small sausages you bought and stuff them down your gullet." Huffed Ertru.

Irritation sparked in his mind but he kept it under wraps while sighing, "I'd just rather sleep."

Ertru's voice came as if it were in the room with him, "No. This is my body as well. Care for yourself or I'll take control."

Vrede's eyes grew wide and he spat, "You wouldn't!"

"Try me. I've nearly had enough of this. You really think that you can resist me as you are? You can't even resist gravity with that slumped posture of yours. Now, start cooking or start scrounging for a meal and take a shower." Commanded the voice.

With gnashed fangs, Vrede kicked toward the kitchen and opened one of the cabinets looking for that tin of crackers and the sausages. He stood there eating before the wash of white-hot anger started to fade away as his gut filled. Being pushed to eat, being pushed to take care of themselves did not irritate him but having his autonomy threatened made him feel desperate and yet, why did that matter? Maybe it would be better to let Ertru have control. The demon often made good points and gave good advice but Vrede typically found himself too nervous to take advantage of a lot of that advice and sometimes, he just didn't want to move at all on anything.

Those thoughts of letting the demon have control of his body continued in the shower while the heated water spread over him. To live as a demon rather than human; neither truly mattered but the choice needed to be his. He had never heard of a changeling's demonic side possessing them to force a decision. It sounded a lot like speeding up the process but what would that really mean? Would he end up as a presence in the back of his own mind? Would he remain as a prisoner with Ertru as his jailer? Too many questions to think about at once.

Ertru's voice cut through the stream of the shower, "Or, you could choose to follow my advice and get a little bit closer to me. I don't have to take over. We can coexist and you can let loose, let it all out. Think about it...You could have so much more if you just went out there and took it using your strength. A little illegal activity here or there wouldn't hurt either. Not saying doing anything that would get yourself killed but a little chaos is nice. Finally saying fuck off to that old goat. Getting a bit of tail on the side. Finding a better job. Think about it. You could do so much if you just stopped trying to pretend everything is neat and orderly so long as you keep on trucking along."

Maybe Vrede was just tired but he didn't feel any irritation at the back of his head, didn't feel the buzz of anger rising, he just felt resigned. When he spoke, he did so with a head hanging against the white tiles of the shower, "Next time you have some advice I'll listen."

"Is that so?" Ertru asked with a hushed surprise, "Why next time? Why wait? We could talk so much right now, get to know one another even better and you could make a decision." Before Vrede could answer, the voice sighed, "Wait, wait. This is happening too quickly. I want this so badly. I don't even care if you settle on going fully human just so long as you start moving again."

Vrede remained quiet for the rest of the shower. Once he finished, he stepped back into his apartment wearing only a towel, hair sticking to his face and over his eyes. He couldn't fight it any longer, not because he valued humanity or wanted power or whatever. He simply thought that listening to Ertru provided him the best path forward. The last words said to him by the demon were still playing back and he had to admit, Ertru was right. They could have a conversation right now about what to do and he could get it over with. At the same time, he hated the thought of getting in any way closer to his father.

He thought he heard Ertru about to say something but the demon's words were cut short by the sound of someone knocking at the door. Vrede then muttered, "Who could that be?"

The changeling stepped over to the door and slid the bolt in place before peering into the peephole. An auburn-furred smiling bat with bright violet eyes stood there, wings folded while they waited. They wore a vest and a sash that acted as a skirt. He couldn't recognize the smiling bat and so he figured that it might be best to pretend to not be here. Besides, he didn't have his clothes on.

"Crack the door open and see what they want." Ertru's voice came.

Vrede opened his mouth to argue but he remembered that he had agreed to take any advice that the demon provided. With a breath, he opened the door just enough that he could peak his head through the opening and mutter, "Hello?"

The bat leaned close and flicked bangs of wet hair out of Vrede's eyes while beaming, "Hello! I was wondering if I had the right room. You're Vrede, right?"

He ignored the honey and tenor silk of the bat's voice and nodded, "That would be me. Yeah. What about it?"

"Well dear, I've got a wonderful offer. You see, I'm a former associate of your father's and--" Vrede pushed his shoulder against the door to close it, heart thumping at a breakneck pace while he heard the bat yelp, "Excuse me! I know that you might not be on best terms with your father considering I knew he wasn't quite a good man and neither was your mother from what I heard but if you just give me a moment and take the door off of my foot then I could explain a little bit more." He pushed the door with a bit more of his strength as his answer and the smiling bat squeaked, "Hold on! Just hear me out for a second!"

Vrede wanted nothing to do with his father, nothing at all and he could feel his heart boiling, his mind mixing with equal parts irritation and fear while he prepared to slam the door as hard as he could but Ertru's voice soothed him, "Hold it there chief...Hear him out for a second. Then slam the door on him if you don't like what he says. Nice and easy. Breathe in and out to keep yourself steady if you need it and I know. I hate that bastard too."

He sucked in a breath slowly before huffing it out and letting up on the door a bit, "All right. I'll break the door on your leg if I don't like what I hear."

The bat chuckled, "Fair enough! But I don't think you'll do that. Y'see, I need someone to help me cart some stuff. Wasn't sure who to get to help so I called your dad and wait, don't slam that on my foot just yet. You see, dickhead didn't want to help and only said he figured that he supposed you'd be willing. It isn't anything dangerous, just loading a truck full of boxes containing some less than legal junk. Help me and I'll give you a big payout."

Vrede considered slamming the door again but the mention of money kept him still. When he finally spoke, he did so while his body untensed, "So, load a truck and get money? What's the catch besides what is inside being illegal."

"Nothing! Well, I mean, the stuff being illegal is the catch and there is always a risk with that but I already have a buyer, I already got the stuff stored in a warehouse and barring some sort of betrayal or involvement from a limp-dicked police department, we should be fine. Sound good?" The bat said with a grin.

He looked down as the bat extended a wing through the door to offer his hand. With a sigh, he grabbed hold of the bat's hand and responded, "Guess we should work out a time and place."

As they shook on it, the bat spoke, "Perfect. Name's Penner."

"Right. You already know my name." Said Vrede as he separated from the shake.

Ertru's voice came with a chuckle, "Be polite. Let them in, offer them a drink, maybe a place on your bed."

His eyes narrowed but he made sure to look away behind the door while he did it as if glaring at a pet that had been chewing on something it wasn't supposed to. Absentmindedly, Vrede undid the latch and stepped away from the door toward his closet, "Anyway, come on and we'll talk about it I guess."

While he fished through the closet for something to wear, he heard Penner whistle, "My, didn't think we'd be such close partners already. Inviting me into your home while you're nearly nude? Just a little tilt of my head and I can see it all."

Vrede felt his cheeks flush but kept it out of his voice, "Stare all you want. We're here for business not pleasure."

"It can be both," Ertru whispered.

Ignoring those words, he stepped back once he had a hoodie and some form of pants on. Sitting on the bed he huffed out, "Okay, now that I'm dressed. Guess we can get this meeting started."

Penner chuckled and sat on the bed close enough that he felt small pricks of static between them, one leg brought over the knee as he said, "Not much of a meeting. All I need from you, are those arms of yours to lift some boxes. We can go tonight if you're ready, or tomorrow night at the latest."

Vrede felt a gentle touch at his thigh and looked down to see clawed digits from the bat's wing feeling over it. The touch sent shivers down his spine but before he allowed himself to sink into it, he hopped up and cleared his throat, "Right. Let's head out now. Maybe after I grab underwear."

The bat grinned and folded his hands atop his knee, tail curling around his waist to thump atop of his thigh, "Go on then."

He pointed toward the bat and then the door, "Outside. Wait for a few seconds and I'll be out before you know it."

Penner laughed as he got up, heading out the door with swaying hips and folded wings. He could hear Ertru humming but refused to comment on that and refused to think about the fluster in his cheeks. This job presented an opportunity to earn some quick cash and perhaps more if he played his cards right. He'd follow Ertru's lead and listen to his advice so long as it kept on leading him in the right direction but even then, he couldn't help but feel like this entire venture was a mistake.