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Silence filled the void between the two women as Helga drove back to the hotel. Amethyst tried to stitch together what exactly happened, but there were pieces she kept missing. Pieces that her Mama kept pushing away whenever she asked. The vole still felt where Helga dug her fingers into her shoulder. It didn't hurt, but the memory was clear enough. The rage in the hog's eyes, the guilty look of Lorraine as the two left. Amethyst knew there was something going on between the two, but she figured it was just awkwardness between two old friends. A part of her believed that she should have seen Helga's struggle, but another part was angry that her Mama didn't tell her that something was wrong in the first place.

This struggle added to her side of the silence. Helga gave no excuses, only occasionally lowering her window to curse out a bad driver.

"What happened?" she asked as they parked into the hotel parking lot, determined to break the silence. Helga took a deep breath, then rested her forehead against the steering wheel.

"Nothing," she answered, barely containing the contempt in her voice, "Nothing happened, and it doesn't matter."

"Don't lie to me."

"We're not going back, so it doesn't matter," Helga said as she exited the vehicle, "That's final."

"Bullshit!" Amethyst marched out of the jeep, her flipflops slapping against the asphalt, "Tell me what happened."

"If you want to go to the fucking beach we can go tomorrow, I'm just tired right now." Helga said as they passed the front desk. Elevator already open, both women fumed as an unlucky badger stood between the two of them. Amethyst's gaze didn't waiver from Helga, but the pig just looked out into nothing.

She continued as soon as the badger left for his floor, "You think I give a shit about the beach?"

"Yes, I do since you had fun. Now can we drop it?"

"No. We're not just going to 'drop it' Helga." Amethyst stepped up to her mistress, "You told me before, no secrets between master and slave. So why are you keeping a secret from me?"

"Because it doesn't matter!" Helga growled, eyes burning in rage. Amethyst stood her ground, spine-shivering in fear at her lover's rage but eyes glaring in determination against the pig's fury.

"Of course it matters," she said, whispering under her breath as the door opened, "It's bothering you."

Helga blinked. Amethyst saw tears form in the pig's eyes that she tried to hide immediately, "It's just..." she put her hand over the elevator door to keep it from closing, "Lorraine and I used to be...close. She flirted with me today, and..." she looked away from Amethyst, "I wanted to say I hated it, but...but I thought about it for a second. And then longer."

Her heart strained at those words. Helga looked away from her as they walked to their room, while Amethyst focused more on the back of the pig's boots. It shouldn't matter if her Mama thought about the flirting, right? She toyed with her collar, the most obvious symbol of their relationship. Helga told her she'd never share her, but could Amethyst be ok with Helga being shared with someone?

These thoughts disappeared when she saw Helga's face as the older woman unlocked their door. Guilt covered every pore of the hog's expression, robbing her of the strong confident aura she carried with her. Whatever happened between Helga and Lorraine had been eating at her ever since they met at the fair, and Amethyst cursed herself for not seeing it sooner.

"It's ok," she said, hugging her Mama from behind, "Please, don't feel bad, Mama."

"You..." Helga rested her head against the door, hiding her expression from her sub, "You don't understand. After everything she did to me, I shouldn't feel anything but contempt from her. But the moment I saw her, I just...I felt like that stupid lovesick girl I used to be."

"Then tell me," she tightened her grip, "Don't keep me out of your pain, Helga. I don't want you to suffer, not alone."

The pig woman's chest expanded in Amethyst's arms as she took a deep breath. She twisted around, forlorn green eyes staring down to her as Helga ran a hand through the vole's sidecut, "Ok, I'll tell you," she said, opening the door and pulling the girl in with her, "I'll tell you the truth."

***

Ohio 2001:

His hand covered her mouth before she could utter a word. The lion shoved Helga to the wall, knife against her neck and a glimmer in his eye that froze her heart.

"Scream and my knife goes through your neck. I have a gun, so don't think I won't just go out there and pop the brat and barkeep if they hear you. Comprende?"

She stared at him, eyes wide in terror. Why was he here? Why did he have a knife? He had a gun? All these thoughts swam around in the ocean of panic that flooded her mind. His grip tightened against her face, "Comprende, bitch?"

Helga's frantic nods brought a toothy smile to his face, "Good, good," he grabbed her pet collar and dragged her to the other side of the bathroom, away from the door and between the stalls and sink, "Where are the rest of the drugs, Piggy?"

"Drugs?" she asked, the lion answered by pressing his knife against her cheek, close enough to draw blood. She squealed, but his hand muffled her, "The drugs, bitch. Don't make me ask a third time."

"I don't know what you're-" he cut her forearm, his other hand strangling her so she couldn't scream in pain.

"Don't fucking lie to me!"

"What drugs?" Helga asked, "I don't know what you're talking about."

The backhand of his knife holding hand smashed against her face, "You think I'm stupid?"

"N-" he struck again, slamming the butt of his knife against her temple. Dazed, she tried to cover her face from the next strike, only for the lion to pull her up by the collar and let gravity strangle her.

"I found them in your little pet mattress after you left. Had to ransack most of that bitch's place to find them. Trouble is, it isn't enough. So either that bitch sold them and has been holding my cut, or she's been getting high on her own supply again and has a special place for them," he brought the knife over her eye, "I'm in a rush, so I'll make this simple. Tell me what I want to know, or lose an eye. Two chances, Piggy, where are the drugs?"

In her mattress? Helga's eyes focused on the knife as her mind darted about. Her mattress had gotten lumpy over the year, but it couldn't...Lorraine didn't do drugs. Memories of bloody nostrils and jittering arms from the wolf came back to Helga. Lorraine kept telling her she just had random nosebleeds, or she wanted to cuddle from the cold. A lie, a lie she kept ignoring. Had those strangers she brought over been there for drugs also? Had she been taking cocks up the ass as part of some drug high for all of them? The realization brought tears to her eyes as the knife became more and more apparent. She'd been so blind to Lorraine's habits, to the wolf's addictions, blind to her faults all because she loved her.

And now, she'll be blind for real.

"I don't kno-"

The bathroom door swung open, "Helga you dropping a log or something?" Tabitha called out without any care for who heard her. She tilted her eyes to see the wolverine turn the corner, the teenager's eyes widening at the knife held over the pig. Gritting her teeth and brandishing the Pool cue like a club, she charged in and swung without hesitation.

Helga slumped to the floor as the lion dropped her, letting him catch the cue with his free hand and kicking Tabitha in the gut. "Are you fucking serious right now?" he said, flipping the cue in his hand and swinging it down on Tabitha, who covered her head in defense, "First I get my balls kicked in by the personal bitch of one of my dealers, then I find out that bitch has been costing me money," he swung again, ignorant of the wolverine's grunts, "then I try to find the missing blow, only for half of it to be in the dumb pig's sad excuse for a bed and the rest nowhere, and now you," he kicked Tabs in the gut, impact sending her sliding against the wall, "decide to waltz in while I'm figuring out where they are? You bitches are really fucking over my day."

She watched as he continued to beat into her friend. His words rang in her head, Lorraine was a drug dealer. How long? Helga grit her teeth, did it even matter? The wolf lied to her, abused her, and she'd been willfully ignorant of it all. Rage built up, overflowing the terror in her as he raised his knife over Tabitha, "At least no one is gonna care about you bitches."

Helga snapped, rushing to the toilet stall and grabbing the tank lid. She screamed, letting out every frustration, every bubbling moment of anger she'd hidden behind apathy and mindless love for a woman that didn't care about her. The lion turned in time to see her rage, and the fury she carried with her as she swung the lid into his face. Adrenaline carried enough force to send him toppling down headfirst into the sink, then to the floor.

Heavy breaths were all Helga could hear at first. It took her a moment to realize they were hers. Arms tense, she gripped the lib as hard as possible in preparation for him getting back up. Any twitch, any indication that he'd stand and Helga would slam into him again and again until he stopped.

He didn't move.

The door opened, she raised the lid over her head. Did he have back up? She wanted to look to Tabitha to see if she was ok, but her eyes waited on whoever would turn the corner.

"What the fuck is happening here?!" Tom's concern felt like a cool breeze as Helga dropped the lid onto the floor, letting part of it shatter. The raccoon stared in shock at the display, looking over to Helga while she checked on Tabitha.

"What-"

"Tabs," Helga didn't let him finish, her attention fully on the wolverine, "Tabs, are you ok?"

Her eyes watered, betraying the wolverine's brave smile that looked up to Helga, "C-course I am," she whimpered out, sniffling away her fear, "Takes more than that to hurt-"

Helga hugged her tight, "You stupid idiot! You should have just ran for help!"

"And let my new roomie get hurt? Fuck that." she winced trying to lift her left hand to Helga, "Though I think this might be bruised."

"Can someone tell me what the fuck is happening in my bar?" Tom shouted, pointing to the lion, "Who the fuck is he?"

"Where the fuck were you?" Helga shouted, "You can't hear shit going on in the bathroom?"

"I was in the back!" he turned to the lion on the floor, "Shit, shit, shit," he pulled out a mirror and held it to the lion's mouth, seemingly relieved when it fogged up. Helga wasn't, grabbing what remained of the lid, "Step back."

"No," he held his hands up, "I can get an idea of what he did but-"

"But fucking what, Tom? This bastard tried to kill me."

"Ok, worse than what I thought. But I'm not letting you go to jail for killing someone."

Tabitha crawled over and started looting the lion's pockets, smiling at the wallet she pulled out, and frowning when she opened it. A quick glance from both furs told them enough, eyes wide in terror as the wolverine held a police badge in her hands.

"Oh fuck," Tom's hand dug into his hair, "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

"I'm going to kill him." Helga growled, "I'm going to kill this dirty-"

"No, no you are not!" Tom stepped between them, "You are not killing a cop. I don't care how dirty he is, the law won't look at you kindly."

"He was going to kill me, Tom," she pointed to the three of them, "He was going to kill all of us if I called for help. What are we supposed to do?"

He looked back at the lion, then to Tabitha and Helga. He closed his eyes, rested his fingers on his snout, took a deep breath, and exhaled.

"Run," he said, "Get out of the state now. I'll buy you some time."

"What?" Helga blinked, "Tom what are you suggesting?"

"There's no subtext here, Helga. You assaulted a cop. We know he's dirty, but we don't know who he knows, and cops like to protect their own. Just...just get the fuck out of Ohio. I'll keep him here long enough so you get that at least."

"What about you?" Tabitha asked, "You leaving?"

Tom smiled weakly, "I...I don't know. I'll think of something. Maybe I'll torch the bar, it's been in the red for a few months now."

"Tom," Helga held his shoulder, "You don't have to,"

"Save it for later." he said, searching for a pair of cuffs on the lion, "You two just get out of here."

She stared into his brown eyes. How long had it been since she'd seen him so focused on her? Helga smiled and shook her head, "You're a dumbass," she hugged him before he could answer, "I did love you, you know."

"We both did. Turns out we didn't play the same side," he smiled weakly, "Now go."

Taking Tabitha by the arm, the two of them headed out of the bar, "So, any ideas on where to go?" the wolverine asked, trying to give a mock smile despite all that happened.

She didn't have an answer for her, at least for leaving Ohio. But she knew where they needed to go immediately, even if it was personal. "Can you drive?" she asked, pointing to Tabitha's bruised wrist, "That's not broken, right?"

"Probably," moved her hand, grimacing with each twitch, "But I can't drive. I'm not leaving my bike here."

"Give me your keys."

Tabitha looked almost insulted, "Excuse me?"

"I'm driving. Give me your keys."

"It's my ride."

"Tabs, I don't know how long we have, you can't drive, and my dirtbike isn't exactly for two, so give me your keys," Helga growled, holding her hands out before the wolverine. Tabitha sighed and pulled them out with her good hand, "Still doesn't count as your ride, poser."

The pig smiled, "Yeah, yeah."

With Tabitha locking her arms around her waist, adrenaline pumped through her veins as Helga revved the engine of the patchwork bike and took off into the night. The noises it made had her wondering how the wolverine kept it running, but she didn't have the room to complain tonight. After a few minutes, Tabitha spoke up, realizing they weren't heading out of town, "Weren't we supposed to be leaving?"

"Unfinished business," Helga explained as they turned into the apartment complex where she lived, "We'll stop by your brother's shack later for your shit. But right now, I need to get something."

Tabitha didn't ask what Helga was after. It seemed obvious to both of them when they saw Lorraine in the front of her apartment, carrying two duffle bags on her way to her green Yamaha cruiser. Helga blared the highlights on the wolf, who looked back at them wide-eyed at first, then smiling when she saw who it was.

"Helga, I was about to call you," she said, Helga didn't believe her.

"What are you doing?" Helga asked though she had a pretty good idea as she parked the bike and walked over to Lorraine, "Little late to be starting the weekend trip."

"Oh, well I just told everyone to start-"

"What's in the bags?" Helga asked, fists clenched, "Your cut of the drugs?"

"Drugs?" Lorraine asked, eyes squinting as she looked deeper to Helga, "Piggy, what happened to you?"

"Easy to notice when I'm not wearing your hood, isn't it?" she said, "Had a visit from the lion you fucked earlier. Said you've been holding out on him, and that you put drugs in my mattress," she grabbed the wolf's jacket with both hands, pulling her closer, "So, how long have you been selling drugs, Lorraine? How long have I been sucking dick for your customers before they fucked you? How long have you been hiding this stuff under my fucking bed?" each question shivered her grip, tears streaming down her cheeks, "How long did you even love me? Did you ever? Or was I just a pet to you? A pet who had to buy her own fucking collar!"

Somewhere, deep in her heart, Helga wanted Lorraine to tell her that she was wrong. That this whole night was just a crazy misunderstanding. That she wasn't just about to abandon her without a word, leaving her to whatever fate the wolf left behind for them.

Lorraine's expression, a mixture of guilt and fear, but no confusion, told her heart to shut up and listen for once. The pig shoved the wolf to the ground, then undid her collar and threw it at her feet, "I want your keys and half the money."

"You don't-"

"They're gonna be looking for your ride, bitch. They won't be looking for hers," she pointed her thumb behind her, "And riding with two bags is pretty fucking obvious. So I'm doing you a favor, one you don't deserve."

"But that's my money,"

"No, it's your payment for Tabs's ride," Helga said, grabbing one of the bags off the asphalt, "If I ever see you again..." Helga couldn't finish the sentence, her threat hooking itself to her throat. She swallowed it on the way to Tabitha, taking the keys and tossing it over to the wolf.

"What are you doing?"

"Upgrading. You got a problem with that?" she growled. Tabitha, for maybe the first time Helga had met her, had no words for the pig, looking up to her with a sense of respect that Helga hadn't ever felt.

It felt good.

Tabitha held the bag around her shoulder as they drove off. They stopped by her shack first, where the wolverine picked up a military knife, some photos, and a canteen. They stopped again, this time at the Mcdonald's where Helga worked.

"Why're we here?"

"Just need to do one last thing," Helga said, putting the keys to Lorraine's...her new cruiser in her pocket, "I'll be back in five minutes."

The Mcdonalds was pretty empty, only two people were eating in near closing time. The punkish mink stood behind the counter, looking out into empty space like everyone did during boredom. She blinked at Helga when she walked up to the front, "Oh, hey. Helga right?" she asked, smiling, "I thought your shift was earlier?"

Helga didn't utter a word. Grabbing the mink by her shirt collar, she pulled the girl in and forced her tongue down her maw. Her other hand raised a middle finger to everyone in the store, the customers, the employees, the camera her bitch of a boss would see later, all seeing her first kiss as a free woman.

The mink looked dazed, confused, and aroused as Helga pulled away, the saliva between their tongues breaking last into a thin string. "I quit." Helga let go, and walked out, both middle fingers in the air, "And you all can fuck off."

Tabitha's laughter echoed from the front door, "You're fucking nuts," she shouted, high fiving her friend upon exit. Helga smiled, "Making up for lost time. Let's go."

"Hey, be honest with me," Tabitha asked as she sat behind her, "did that lion kill me?"

"You're breathing."

"Yeah, but the Helga in front of me feels more like a Valkyrie than the Helga I know. Not that I'm complaining, especially if we're heading to Valhalla after this."

A valkyrie. Helga liked the sound of that, but those angels of war were loyal to the gods. Helga wouldn't bow to anyone ever again, not after tonight, "Yeah, I am a valkyrie, a free one. And so are you."

Tabitha blushed and smiled, "Free valkyries? I think the proper name is Frels Valkyries. I like the sound of that, maybe we should start a gang."

Helga laughed, "Sure, two girls running from the cops are the best people to start a gang. We don't even have a place to sleep once we leave Ohio Tabs."

"I don't know," she said, pulling out a wad of cash from the duffle bag, "I think we'll figure that out."

***

The first thing that came to Amethyst's mind after hearing Helga's story could only be described as "That bitch," with regards to Lorraine. She held her tongue though, letting her Mama vent out her frustrations and pain finally into the open as they sat together on the bed.

"And," she sniffed, tears streaming down her face, "the fucking worst part, is that despite everything, everything she put me through, the first time I see her again, I fucking freeze." she covered her eyes, "I didn't feel hatred, or the urge to hit her, those I would understand. No, I fucking still have feelings for her, so much that for a moment, a single moment that eats away in the back of my heart, I wish I went with her instead of Tabitha at the end," her fingers dug into the mattress, "I'm pathetic."

"You're not,"

Amethyst pulled her Mama in closer before she could respond, wrapping her arms around her head and letting the older women nestle against her chest, "You're not pathetic, Helga, you're ok," she whispered, running a hand through the black and greying hair, "it's ok."

She cried into the vole's chest. Arms tight as she held onto Amethyst for comfort while the vole held her. Held her like all the times Helga did for her. Amethyst kissed her dominant's forehead, whispering that she was a good woman who didn't need to feel ashamed. For so long, Helga had comforted her. Held her tightly in times when Amethyst wasn't sure of herself, or when she needed a shield from the world.

Today, she held a shield for her Mama.

"I'm sorry," she said into her sub's chest, "I should have told you from the start. I just didn't want to ruin your fun,"

"Hey," Amethyst held the pig's chin, facing the teary green eyes with her indigo, "Whose name do I have as a trampstamp?"

The pig sniffed some snot into her snout, "Mine."

"That's right. I'm wearing your collar. You're my mistress, and I'm your slave. We don't keep secrets from each other," she took a deep breath, "There's another reason why I wanted to come here. I didn't tell you because...well I was hoping I could avoid it."

"Amy?"

"My grandparents, the ones who tossed my mother when she was pregnant with me, live in a suburban neighborhood nearby. I..." her lips quivered, "I wanted to meet them. To see if they regretted it. But, I'm scared that they won't, and I figured it'd never come up."

"You...you don't have too,"

"No," Amethyst smiled softly, "I have to. And you need to confront Lorraine, for good. We're not leaving this city without dealing with our pasts."

"Your grandparents aren't your past."

"But they are responsible for who I am today, in some way. Just like Lorraine is for you."

Helga pulled herself closer, "I, I don't know if I can."

"Don't worry, Mama. I have a plan."

"I don't deserve you," Helga said, voice quivering on the edge of fear. Amethyst kissed her on the lips, letting their tongues embrace without lies holding them back.

"Mama," Amethyst said, pulling away, "That's not for you to decide."