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Chapter Eight: Confidence

My head throbbed lightly. I woke with a sweet after taste on my lips and something squirming in my jaws. I shifted, burying my head further into my Frai. I did not want to wake up, not yet, I felt far too comfortable and lazy at the moment. Flashes of last night passed through my head and whatever was stuck in my mouth started to squirm more. I let out a yawn and stretched out. My arms and legs suddenly find empty space, causing me to panic slightly.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I had fallen asleep on one of the large spool tables, with my Frai folded and tucked under my head as a pillow. It had to be sometime around mid-day as the tavern appeared to be closed still, or perhaps getting ready to open. A few other passed out patrons from last night were being roused or moved by staff who were cleaning things up.

I rubbed my jaw, it felt stiff, I had drooled a lot, which wasn't uncommon. My throat felt parched and that weird sweet flavour still stuck with me as I licked my lips. I looked down and saw a mouse of all things, coated in saliva and looking rather relieved. I blinked, bewildered for a moment before panicking and thinking that I had eaten someone.

I quickly calmed down as last night came back to me. I remembered gambling for some coin, then buying a drink and some food. I remembered feeling good and confident and relaxed. I remembered the trio of my kin who had been dancing outside coming inside and talking with me. We had some drinks together and one of them managed to get me up on my feet for a little and after that we had partaken in some weird 'treat' of dipping mice and other small Velkenfolk into various things and sucking the flavour out of their fur. Apparently it was some sort of delicacy and it paid handsomely. First we had tried something called Brandy, then Wine, then Caramel and lastly Golden Meed. After that I guess I had passed out.

I breathed out a sigh of relief that turned into a wide yawn. My jaws snapping shut with a hollow 'snap'. I slipped off the table, grabbing up my Frai and slipping it on, I was anxious to get back to Julian. No doubt he would be wondering where I got to. I paused for a moment. 'yeah, he's probably freaking out or something…' I thought. I looked back down at the mouse on the table who was now grooming himself, or trying to. I quietly fished out the last coin I had and set it down next to him before I left.

Last night had been sorely needed. I felt more confident of myself now, reassured and certain. All that confidence momentarily left me as soon as I stepped outside into the little square and saw Julian standing there with arms crossed. Clad in his armour, weapon and all. It was still raining, the skies grey and light overhead, a drizzle hanging in the air.

“I figured you might have found this place. You could have at least left a note you know." I opened my mouth to apologise, but quickly closed it. Apologising was not going to do anything. Julian looked up at the sky, distant rumbles of last night's thunder carried on the wind.

“We should wait out this rain. If it's raining down here, then it'll be snowing up on the mountain ranges. We don't want to get caught in a blizzard," he said. It made sense so I did not bother to argue, as anxious as I was to see my mother and sister again. I knew there was no reason to be reckless and get myself killed.

“How long will we have to wait,"? I asked anxiously, gazing over in the vague direction of the mountains.

“Until the rain clears up? A few days at the most. As for getting up the mountain on foot, that'll take a few weeks," Julian replied flatly. My ears folded outward, I was annoyed to hear that. 'What we need is a Zeppelin. Or a dragon.' I shook my head and stifled a sigh by yawning.

“So what do we do until then,"? Julian paused for a moment, looking around. His steely eyes scanning everyone remotely within earshot.

“I think you should stay here. Humans aren't allowed in the Dragon's Cave so if there are other hunters out following you, they won't be able to do much. Get a part time job as a barmaid or cook or something. I'll see about drumming up some coin for the provisions we'll need," Julian was an interesting person. He was sensible in a way I had not seen too often, he was confident, yet compassionate, a proper leader mentality. A mentality I wanted.

I nodded in agreement, “What about my belongings,"? I asked. Julian unshouldered a large canvas bag that held my weapons, belt and belongings. He also unshouldered my makeshift incubation pack and gently passed it to me.

“Ask for a Naga named Ipsum, he should be more than happy to hold you here till we're ready. Just give him this," Julian said, fishing out a small coin and passing it to me. It was not unlike the blood money coins I'd been given in the keep, but it was smaller, and stamped into wood, not metal.

I nodded again and took my things back inside. 'just a few more days Kaiber, minor setback, no need to get angry.' I told myself as I looked around for any Nagas. The Space looked different in the dreary light of a day. It was clearly an old warehouse or storeroom of some sort, most of the space being sunken with stone floors strewn in numerous hides and the bar area being raised up on a wooden platform.

My eyes scanned the space again for a Naga, before I cast my gaze up to the rafters and found him. He was much smaller than Master Virgil, with a pointy, upturned snout, coated from head to tail in soft creamy yellow scales. I watched him for a moment, he was lazed out over four wooden beams, a large leather-bound book sat in his lap, which held is immediate and undivided attention. He was talking to a squirrel that, a Velkenfolk obviously, who sat upon his shoulder. I wagered the book was a business ledger of some sort.

“Um, excuse me sir, are you Ipsum"? I asked. The Naga made no attempt to acknowledge he even heard me. I waited for a moment before trying again.

“I was told to speak to you. I need somewhere to stay for a few days and maybe some work"? Again I found myself being ignored. Maybe this was not Ipsum? Or maybe he was just really focused on his ledger. I took a deep breath and opened my jaws to try again, but I was swiftly cut off by an interjecting voice.

“Don't bother, you'll never get his attention," the voice said. With perked up ears I turned to find myself staring into someone else's ears. I lowered my gaze to find myself standing chin to nose with a hare. Obviously a Velkenfolk. My nose twitched, he smelt, healthy? Yes, healthy, the scent of bread and honey and spices stuck to his fur and the apron he wore.

“Names Holly, you're lookin for a spot of work for a few days aye"? He asked me, I nodded in response and he perked up and smiled back at me.

“A'ight, perfect then!" he exclaimed. “I could use an extra set a' hands in the kitchens, n' there's a room up n' the loft that you can use as lodgin's." I said nothing and just nodded along with him, silently hating myself on the inside. Cooking. Another skill I did not have, another essential skill I had never learnt. 'Doesn't matter, I'll learn that one too.' I thought as I stowed my belongings away in the small bunkhouse up in the loft. It reminded me so much of the bunkhouse back on Master Virgil's Zeppelin. For a moment, my mind flashed back to that place, to those faces and I felt forlorn. I missed Bastille, Tahl, Luca, Logan, I missed them all. But I pushed that thought out of my head and smiled. I would be seeing them again soon enough.

But it dawned on me then and there, just how much I had lost. How much had been taken from me over those seven years of enslavement. If I had grown up normally, then I would know how to cook, how to swim, probably how to farm. But what else? What would I have become, a doctor maybe? A farmer? A weaver? I let out a deep sigh and sat for a moment on the edge of an empty bunk. Looking down at the two white stones in my makeshift pack and I gritted my teeth. They would have a chance, a chance I never got. I was going to make sure of it. My life was already so horribly disfigured and derailed. There were just too many pieces to try and pick up. It was time for me to forget those pieces and focus on forging something new. I was already doing it, I was already building up a new foundation, a new life. A new chapter. I let out another long breath. 'I can do this.' I stood, stowed the eggs and my belongings away under the single green canvas sheet, wrapping them all up securely and safely.

'Just a few more days, two, maybe three weeks total,' I thought. 'Then I can plan out my next step, once my family is safe,' I told myself. I was confident of this, at least in the short term of my plan as it existed now.

I spent the rest of the day in the kitchens with Holly and a handful of other Velkenfolk. I'd been set to work peeling whole buckets of vegetables. Potatoes, carrots, onions, even garlic and I liked it. It was boring and mundane and it gave my head room and time to think. All the buzzing thoughts could just be plucked out one at a time and inspected. I liked that.

'I reckon I'd have made for a good farmer, I always kind of liked the work, it was hard, but….boring and mundane.' I smirked and picked out another thought.

'Would I even care if I saw Brant again? Probably, he's a monster. I should care, but I just don't want to anymore…' my nose wrinkled up at that thought. I tossed it away and plucked out another one.

'I wonder what Seht is doing right now. I miss him, I kind of miss Kooda too… and Tyla.' That thought made my pause for a moment as I picked up another yam and began to idly peel it. My ears perked lightly as the drizzling rain outside began to bucket down harder. 'I hope I settle down with someone nice.' I paused again. I looked down at myself, then back up at the kitchen. I pictured it smaller, cosier and not so noisy. I was older, sitting in the corner enjoying the mundane chore of peeling vegetables. There were two others, younger than I, both looked similar to me and wore cheerful smiles as they giggled. My mother was there and so was my sister, but all grown up now and there was one other, but I could not see them, they were just a blur.

'A happy family' I thought.

'My family.'