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There is a tug on my tail as the last bit of leather securing me is tightened into place. All of the locks are now in place. I feel a tingle of excitement run through my body, knowing what will happen now.

"Are you ready?" my boyfriend asks me, kneeling naked in the bed before me. Ezra is smiling, his bushy coyote tall wagging behind him. His expressive ears are perked forward, waiting for my response. I know he wants to put on a good show for me.

I nod softly. "Yes, sir."

"Is the big wolf scared what the lanky coyote will do to him?" His voice is musical, and it's a rhetorical question. I wouldn't be going through with this if I didn't trust him.

I pull at my wrists, feeling the resistance. They are held together in soft leather handcuffs. A cord runs from them across the bed down to where the rope is tied to the frame. The feeling of being secured is familiar. For a moment, I'm reminded of the tape and gauze used to secure an IV drip to my arm, but the positioning is different. I shake my head to push that association away.

"Ammar, are you sure you are ready?" he asks me again, this time in his normal tone. He must have noticed the expression on my face. "I'm doing this for you."

I breathe in, feeling the leather of the harness I wear stretch against my fur. Today is the first day I've been strong enough for this in a while. He wanted me to rest today, but I haven't felt this good in weeks. I don't know when I'll feel this good again. "I know. I'm ready, Ezra."

"Okay," he says, pulling out a piece of black cloth. "Close your eyes."

Obediently, I do. I can feel the cloth being wrapped around my head and the brush of Ezra's paws as they touch my ears. Then there is the jerking motion as Ezra ties the blindfold behind my head.

"Is that good?" he asks. "I made sure the fabric is thick enough."

I open my eyes. I can only see shadows now. "Yeah," I whisper.

"Okay." I can feel as he moves around on the bed. The rope connecting the cuffs on my fore paws to the spreader bar connected to the cuffs on my back paws shifts. My nose tickles with a familiar scent, and I feel a brush of fur against my muzzle, and then there is the scent of his maleness. There is more movement, though, and the ropes and my elbows dip as the bed shifts.

"Does the wolfie know what he wants?" comes Ezra's voice teasingly to my ears.

I whimper, putting need into my voice.

"Now I can't have you whimpering like that." he says. He shifts on the bed, the mattress creaking, and I come face to face with his cock when he baps me with it and rubs the tip against my lips.

I dart my tongue out, getting the taste into my muzzle before I take him into my mouth. The smell is intense and floods my diminished senses. Through the blindfold, I can't see what he's doing, but I hear the distinct clink of metal.

He pulls himself away from me, taking the treat from my wet muzzle. "Oh no. You've been bad. You don't deserve that. You know what that means?" The question hangs there.

I lower my ears. "Yes, sir." I can already smell the rubber of the gag. Scent is also why I know I will have a chance. My natural scent had begun to change. and Ezra picked up on that. My natural musk had started to take on a sour musk. It's what prompted me to make the first doctor's appointment.

"Open wide, and I promise not to leave you like this."

I inhale sharply. That is against the rules of the session. Ezra said he wasn't sure he wanted to do this, but I'd insisted. I wanted to let him know I trusted him unlike anyone I've ever been with before, that our bond is stronger than any I've had before. My feet are bound, my hands are bound, and the rope running across the bed means I can't move either of those more than a few inches. I am completely at his mercy. That's why he can't leave me like this.

"Is that talk too dirty? Your ears just went all the way back," he asks me.

"I... no. But we talked about that."

I feel his hand scratching between my ears, trying to reassure me. "Relax. I promise I won't do anything to you you didn't ask for. Do you want to proceed now? Once I put the gag on, anything I ask you will be a yes or no question."

"Go ahead," I say.

"Okay," the coyote says. "Open up."

I open my muzzle wide, and I feel the taste of rubber as the ball gag is slipped into my muzzle. I can feel Ezra's paws at the back of my head as he fastens the gag and then checks to make sure it's secure. He shifts, the ropes stretching. It feels like he's reaching for something, because a few seconds later, I feel him move again. Something is pressed into my left hand.

"That's the clicker. At any point, if you need me to stop, use it. Click once to get me to continue what I'm doing or to say yes. Click it twice to say no or to stop because it's uncomfortable. Three or more times, and I'm ending the scene entirely. Now, do you understand?"

This is how I know we can do this safely. It's what we decided to use as a replacement for a safe word since I can't talk around the gag in my muzzle. I already know he's going to make me whimper for him to stop, but I instructed him to keep going until I use the clicker. I need to do this. I have to be strong for Ezra, but I can't be all the time. In this brief respite between the cycles of treatment I am going to have to go through, I need to let my guard down.

I squeeze the clicker once to let him know I have it.

"Then you are my piece of tail now, Ammar. You're mine until I see fit to release you from your bindings, you filthy wolf!" He laughs, keeping the lilt in his voice. "Or you stop it." This, he delivers in his normal tone. "Now, where was I?"

The scent of male coyote, rubber, and leather is strong in my nose. I feel Ezra's hand on my head, guiding me. Then I feel the heat as he rubs his cock on top of my muzzle and I'm forced to sniff at his balls. Instinctually, I want to dart my tongue out at them, to take them into my muzzle, but I can't. The gag keeps my mouth frozen open.

"Is this what you want?" he asks, rubbing his cock along my muzzle. I'm not sure exactly how hard he is, but he already feels aroused. His scent has taken on that predatory, sexy musk I'm used to experiencing when we have sex. My own erection bobs under me, the anticipation of the moment as we worked to set up the scene has left me aching for a while. I'm waiting for him to sate the lust inside of me.

I whimper, but Ezra's hand pushes me against his stiff member. "Don't act like you don't want this."

Oh god, do I want this. The scent alone is driving me crazy. I pull at the bindings holding me. My tail is held in place by a cuff that connects with the collar I'm wearing, so it curls. It's not easy to get a wolf's tail to curl, but mine is curled right now, just like a husky's. We both know what I want; he's just delaying the inevitable.

_But that's life isn't it? The inevitable is always around the corner._I think to myself. I push that thought out of my mind. I don't want to think about that right now. I know where that leads: back to the doctors and the IV. I don't have to go back there for another week. I don't have to be strong again until then. For the moment, I can be weak, and Ezra is all that matters.

He pushes my head down so he can rub the bottom of his cock against my wet nose. I feel him shiver at the touch and my breath before he pulls off and the bed creaks loudly. The ropes holding me pull taut and relax, and then there is nothing. No sensation, and no sound but my own muffled breathing and the sound of the blood in my ears.

My ears naturally flick back and forth, trying to locate where the coyote went. I think he's standing in front of the bed, but the rush of blood in my head and in my cock is making it hard for me to focus.

I try to move, and while I can shift around a little, the metal locks on my cuffs jingle and pull. If I click the clicker once to tell him to continue, will that bring him back? If I click it once, will he continue doing whatever he is doing now?

I whine in frustration, my ears back. I don't want him to stop. A softly chuckle comes from in front of me. "You don't want to wait, do you?" he asks.

I click the clicker twice.

"Okay, okay, but I'm admiring the view. That tail looks amazing."

I whine again, ears still back, and I can hear the click of his claws on the floor. Suddenly, there is a slap on my ass, and I yelp, but it comes out muffled around the gag. I nearly choke on the ball in my mouth.

He chuckles. I feel my weight shift as the bed creaks, and then a paw traces down my stomach toward my groin, stopping to flick at the tip of my cock. The brush of his fur against my legs and the feeling of my knees sinking down into the mattress tells me he has gotten on the bed behind me.

"Someone is excited, I see." he whispers as he flicks my cock again, letting it bob in the air.

Damn you, Ezra. Why must you tease me? I know the answer is because I want him to tease me, to take his time. I'm the one who devised the rope setup. I'm the one who ordered the leather cuffs and had them sized to my wrists. I'm the one who told him what to do, and I'm the one whose cock is throbbing in the air as the coyote bats at it playfully. I know when he finally gives me my release, it will be sweeter than any dessert I could ever put into my muzzle.

I growl a little as he bats at my stiffness again. The muffled noise barely registers as a growl in my own ears.

"The overgrown puppy doesn't like that?" I feel a paw slide up toward my hip. It's a question, and I think for a moment before I click the clicker twice.

He huffs, and for a moment, there's nothing, just his hand resting on my hip.

"Too bad," he says, reaching down to flick my cock again.

I growl as loud as I can with a ball gag in my throat. It would be menacing if it didn't have the ball in my mouth. Instead, it sounds a bit like someone is being strangled.

"Okay, okay. I get it," says the coyote, exasperated at me. "You said you wanted to be teased."

I did. I told him he could tease me, but that doesn't mean I like it. I pull at the cuffs, but they hold my place. I had him put a spreader bar between my ankles so I wouldn't fall over, so I don't have much range of motion back there. Suddenly, I freeze when I feel it.

His hand is still resting on my hip, but now a finger is tracing the opening of my anus gently, poking at me.

"This is what you want, Ammar, isn't it?" he sinks a digit into me, exploring. It sends a shiver up my spine as he probes me. "Something hard buried deep inside you?"

I whine loudly, needy. Even with the gag in place, the desire is obvious.

"That's not a yes," he laughs, his voice musical sounding.

Bastard coyote! My form of canine is almost the same as his. Us wolves use the same expressions as coyotes. He can read the tension in my restrained body like an open book. I click the clicker once.

He laughs, and sinks a second finger into my quivering rear. "I thought so."

I just stay where I am, knees and elbows bent on the slick vinyl sheets we put on our king-sized bed. The sheets are something Ezra came up with. There is nothing I can do except wait to see what he does.

His paw that isn't probing me slips down to grasp my shaft as he shifts his weight and presses his cock up against the side of the rump. The heat and slight slickness of my drool still on it drags through my fur. The coyote's tail is probably wagging, but I can't tell. My blood is pounding in my ears now. It sounds like a freight train in my head.

Slowly, he pulls out and the paw on my cock leaves. I feel him shift, and he fumbles with something. There's a distinct pop, and then I squirm as cool lube is poured directly on my ass, letting it run down the cleft. His paw returns to probe at my insides, slickening them up.

My ears are back, and my whines come freely, headily. I need this. I really need this. I can't see what he's doing to me, but I can feel it. I'm having to get used to not being able to see things that are important in my life. This is just practice for what I'm going through.

When Ezra pulls his fingers out, I can hear the sound of him slickening up his shaft, before the bed creaks and something hard slides up the cleft of my butt to rest between my ass cheeks.

He doesn't say anything, and the way I whine leaves no doubt what I want. He takes a minute to rub himself up and down before he pulls back and lines up and starts to press himself in, mounting me. I feel my body tense, and then it relaxes. This is it. He's done teasing me, I think. We're at the meat and potatoes of tonight's play session now. All the gear, all the trust I put in him, this is it. We're really doing this. I open my hands to brace myself by pushing my shoulders up as much as I can, letting the tension flow out of me as the fucking I've long for begins. I drop the clicker onto the bed.

I freeze, and as I feel the last inch of Ezra's cock sink into me it hits me, then; I've lost control of the scene. As far as the coyote knows, if he thrusts too rough or gets creative in a way that hurts, I'll signal for him to stop, but I just lost that ability. A deep panic sets into me, then, the coyote slowly teasing my ass with his cock, oblivious to my panic. I need the clicker so he can't hurt me. I need that, that little bit of control.

A paw slaps my rump as he grips at my tail base, starting to thrust. "You like this?" he asks me.

I whine, panicking-ly trying to find the clicker, patting the sheets with my paws. Where is it?

Ezra misreads my motions. Maybe his eyes are closed, savoring the moment, but he wuffs happily. "You are so tight, hun. You haven't been this excited in a long time. I'm glad to see you're into it."

Crap, I'm already clenching down on him, and that's starting to hurt. If I could just look with my eyes, I could find the clicker, but I'm still blindfolded. Damn it! I set up the rules for this. I said we should use the gag. I suggested the blindfold. And now, now I'm slapping the mattress looking for the signal device I bought.

I push myself up on the pads of my paws, and I feel something by my right hand. I seize it and grasp the clicker, as Ezra thrusts himself into me. I squeeze it so tight, it clicks once.

Ezra freezes. "Is everything alright? Did I push you too hard?" he asks. The hand at my tail base slips down to my hips. He's about to pull out; I can tell. Frantically, I click it again. I don't want him to stop.

"You sure?" he asks, his voice no longer containing any playfulness in it.

I managed to get out a 'mmph' around the gag and click again. Ezra pulls back, but then buries it into me deep. I squeeze my eyes shut even though the blindfold is covering them.

He begins to slam himself into me roughly, all measures of decorum lost now. He pushes me forward on the bed with his thrusts, but I can't move, and all I can do is push back as I strain against my bonds. He buries himself repeatedly to the hilt inside of me, each thrust accompanied with a loud coyote grunt.

The feeling of being filled by Ezra is amazing. I can feel his knot popping in and out of me as it swells. My tongue wants to roll out of my muzzle in a blissful pant, but I can't because of the gag. My tail wants to wag, but it's still stuck in that forced curl. All I can do is fight against my bindings. They keep me snug, but that's the point: it's not moving I want to do, I want to feel the tension due to the fact I can't move. I want to test my strength against the tight leather and feel it holding me back.

The creaking of the bed is loud in my ears, so it catches me by surprise when Ezra pushes himself forward and lets himself fall forward, settling his weight directly on top of me. In the process, he pins my already abused tail against my back. I want to touch myself so badly now, driving myself to my finish, but all I can do it wait until Ezra does the work for me. My cock throbs, wanting its release.

"Who's my wolf?" he whispers into my left ear, nibbling at it. I whine in response, my submission to him complete. In this moment, I'm just his. I've forgotten about everything else, even the cancer inside of me that is slowly killing me. It's blissful as I squirm and moan at the touch. A free hand finds one of my nipples, gently tracing a claw over it before he wraps a paw around my aching member.

"Have you been naughty enough for me to let you have your release, or should I leave you cuffed liked this?"

I thrust myself into his paw as best as I can with my limited mobility as he grinds his knot against my ass.

"I'm not hearing the clicker, love."

Damn you, Ezra! I click it once.

"That's a good wolf," he coos into my ear, nibbling at the tip. I feel him pop the knot in before he pulls it out again. The paw gently traces my shaft as he repeats the motion. His touch is light, his thrusts hard, and it drives me crazy. I screw my eyes shut, panting hard around the gag, trying to suck down more oxygen. He keeps doing this motion of popping the knot in and out of my abused body, pushing me up toward the edge until it's too much.

I don't feel the first steps of my own climax; the feelings are just too intense. I'm just aware of Ezra gripping me tightly. I paint the slick vinyl sheets with my seed, my body shivering, Ezra's knot grinding up in me. The tension against my bounds drives me crazy. It's been too long since we've had a session this intense. Even spent with his weight on top of me, I can't let myself down. I have to hold this position with my exhausted body.

I'm clenching too hard, and his knot is too swollen for me to release him, so he nips at the scruff of my neck as he proceeds to work the shaft stuck within me now. I feel the grunting coyote tense and then the telltale yip he makes when he cums.

Between panting around the scruff of my neck, I can hear his voice. "Oh god yes, Ammar... I should fuck you like this all the time." I wouldn't mind that, so I click the clicker again, and he attempts to laugh with a muzzle full of wolf fur. "We'll have to see if there is time to do something so involved next time." He licks affectionately at my neck. I'm not due for another chemotherapy session until next week, so hopefully I can feel his warmth and love like this again soon.

I wag my pined tail as best as I can. We're tied now. My breathing is still ragged; the gag isn't making it easy for me to catch my breath. I can feel his body pulsing like a storm in my ears. In this moment, there is just him, and with his body wrapped around me, I feel safe. My submission to him may be complete, but his protection and love of me is even more powerful. I don't have to be strong right now, and that's a relief. He can be strong for the both of us in this moment.

I feel a hand at the back of my head, and the click and tug of metal and leather as the buckle for the gag is undone. Once I feel the straps loosen, I shake and let it fall out of my mouth, where the wet slippery rubber bounces against my paws. I work my jaw to get some feeling back into it. The blindfold is pulled back, and I'm forced to blink at the sudden influx of light.

"How are you feeling?" Ezra asks me.

"Filled," I say, wiggling my tied rump. My voice is sandpapery from using the ball gag.

"Beyond that, this is the most restrained you've ever been during sex. You didn't have any nausea, did you?"

"No, the medication is keeping that under control. I'm sore, but satisfied." I close my eyes. "I know you're there for me, protecting me." And it's not just that; there's something else. "I know I can trust you."

The coyote chuckles. "Silly wolf, you've always been able to trust me. Five years, and you're just starting to think that way?"

I pull at my restraints, still fully in place. "It's not just that. It's a deeper type of trust." I still have him locked inside of me, but he's already softened. He could pull out already, I'm sure. He's holding the connection for me. "I don't need to worry. I know when I need you to, you'll be there for me. I can let down my barriers with you, and I can let you in, in a way I can't do with other people. I can also let myself be weak in these moments."

"This sounds like that pack stuff you wolves love so much."

I shift my weight, fighting him and my bonds. "Isn't exposing yourself, your throat, and your body to someone you love like this, and knowing they're there for you, isn't that beyond simple pack bonds? Isn't it a trust exercise in our commitment to each other?"

The coyote whispers into my ear as he breathes on it and nips at the tip very gently. "Oh it is, but I need you to be strong for me."

I'm doing the best I can for him. We're lucky we caught the pancreatic cancer so early, thanks to Ezra's nose. I never would have noticed the change in my scent myself. Even better, the cancer is only in Stage I, and for this type, the doctors tell me the five year survival rate is over eighty percent.

"I am doing everything I can," I whisper. "Like I have to trust you'll let me off the bed, you have to trust me. I'm fighting."

The coyote laughs and nips lovingly at the back of my neck, pressing his weight down on top of me. "I know, Ammar. I try not to think of what might happen. It doesn't make things better."

No, it doesn't. I've already run over the scenarios in my mind. I'm not there in all of them.

"Ezra, I wanted to ask you something?"

"Yes, my love?"

"Do you want to get married, Ezra? We've been dating long enough. I realize we may not have much time left together, but it feels like the right thing."

He doesn't say anything, He's silent for a minute before he slips out of me. There's a pop, and I can feel the release of his pent up fluids from inside of me. "I'm not sure now is the right time to propose." The bed creaks as he moves around on it, taking his weight off of me.

"Sorry, I just feel vulnerable." I've felt vulnerable for a while now. There are varying levels of vulnerability that I'm learning to deal with.

He moves forward on the bed so he can look at me. A hand strokes my back, and I turn to see him looking at me. "We said we were going to wait."

I sigh. "Yeah, well things have changed."

"I'm willing to do it, but are you sure now is a good time? I mean, you're still tied up and all messy."

Even though he is a loving mate, he's still a coyote. "Not now! You know what I mean."

He smirks. "I figured you wanted to wait until you felt better."

He knows as well as I do that it's not guaranteed I'll beat this into remission. Even then, it could come back later.

"I don't want to be alone." Isn't that the point of what we just did? I need to feel I belong in his life, that with the diagnosis and treatment that he's there, and I still belong to him.

"Ammar, a ring isn't going to make me hold you any tighter. These straps aren't going to make me love you more. I'm already giving you my all." His ears are back, his yellow eyes piercing.

There is the strength I need when I can't summon more of my own to keep fighting. Knowing I can keep being with such a loving mate is the resolve I need to make it to all those appointments during the chemotherapy cycle. I want to cry with how beautiful he makes me feel. He doesn't see the disease living inside of me when he looks at me.

"I want to because I know no one else will ever be there for me like you." I really want to wrap myself around him right now, but I can't. I'm still cuffed to the bed. "And can you help me out of all this gear? It makes it hard for me to give you the hug you deserve for sticking with me through this."

He chuckles and reaches for the key on the night stand. "How about after the next treatment cycle, we go to the justice of the peace and make it official instead of breaking out all the gear?"

My heart soars. I'm going to be part of the eighty percent. I'm going to beat this. With Ezra's loving embrace, I am strong enough to get through this. "How about both?" I suggest as he starts to unlock my wrists.

He shakes his head. "You, sir, have a one track mind."

"With a beautiful mate like you, why shouldn't I indulge when I can?"

The coyote blushes, and I feel warmth spreading through my body. Fuck cancer. I'm not going to let it take this away from me.