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WARNING: this story contains homosexual situations between fictional anthropomorphic characters.

Chapter 14- A "Crushing" Memory

Now, lets fix your "downstairs" area, its sticking out. Kevin reached into his drawer and pulled out a leash. As he came closer to me I began to realize why the ring was gifted with a collar. At this point I was wide awake. I clawed and pawed at the collar, but no matter when I did I couldn't unfasten it. When I spun the collar around the first thing I saw was a sparkly padlock. It seems I had become Kevin's bitch overnight. Kevin pounced on top of me then clicked the leash's tip onto the opening in the padlock. No matter how hard I tried, there was no escaping his submission. I'm normally not into kinky things but for once I decided to play along with him. He told me that "his parents were coming in the room around 9:00 or so to wake him up for his job, so we had exactly 3 hours." Don't make a sound or I'll tighten your collar. Feeling the collar around my neck, I understood the layout. I asked him quietly, "what are you going to do to me?"

Before he could answer he tore off my pants. Kevin gave me the kiss of death then flipped me over like a pancake. His knees were buried into my back to keep me from squirming. Even though we were just roleplaying, he would've been able to pin me in down if I was really trying. Before we got started Kevin asked me "who's your master?" "You are sir". "If you feel too much pain I wont stop unless you yell stop master! ya got that you little fairy?". I nodded in fright.

Kevin tightened my leash and collar until he had overpowered my upper body. Once he felt he had become completely in control he stopped pinning me down with his knees and slid downwards towards my bottom. Normally he would kneel down right behind me and rub lotion but today... today...... he entered me raw dog. Kevin refused to play gentle with me since work was in a few hours. He thrust all of his manhood inside me without hesitation, which sent a painful shock through my body. Usually during anal, you have to get adjusted, especially when you go at it for hours on end. With the kind of force Kevin exerted it was almost impossible to keep quiet. I didn't think that he would ever pump me hard enough to moan like a girl, but he managed to pull it off. Gradually he picked up the pace and I had adjusted to his level of intensity. After 70 minutes or so of getting pounded, my rump started to hurt. I could only endure about ten more minutes of him inside me so I asked the master very politely to hurry and finish and he listened to my request. I pawed off to his every movement just waiting for that moment when I would spurt. I exploded a lot quicker than I thought I would so it was a rushed relief. He finished off his load in my mouth so that I could be left with a refreshing taste until breakfast.

We had the normal clean up session then the master dressed us both up and unhinged my leash. By this point in time the parents were well aware we were awake and already preparing breakfast. I guess the adults had sweet release earlier because they seemed awfully cheery this morning. When we entered the kitchen Jim was standing up cuddling with martha while she was holding a frying pan and spatula.

When we sat at the breakfast table (yes, the dinner table doubles as a place to enjoy breakfast) Jim burst out laughing at us. I was paranoid that we didn't clean up properly, at first, but when Martha caught on to what he was laughing about I instantly knew. Martha pointed at my collar and both me and my boy blushed four different shades of red. Kevin started trying to be subtle while undoing the lock making an obvious attempt to distract the adults.

Jim: *laughing* So you two are into that kind of thing

At this point Kevin was as red as a strawberry, so I took initiative and did the talking for him.

Chase: well at least we have more passion in our relationship

Jim wouldn't stop acting like a total adolescent at the table. He kept sticking his silverware in his mouth trying to resemble a gag, while cracking an invisible whip. Martha eventually got to a point where she wouldn't put up with Jim's shenanigans anymore and slapped him in the back of his head, causing him to spit out his silverware.

Jim: hey, what'd you do that for?

Martha: stop teasing them, I'm pretty sure if they caught you doing what you did behind closed doors then you would be embarrassed too hun!

Jim: okay *rolls eyes* fine

When Martha turned her back Jim made an invisible whip gesture and when Martha caught on to it she punished him. Martha dragged Jim all the way to her bedroom by his ear while he was yelping in pain. Martha then grabbed a strap-on and laid it on the dinner table.

{my first thought was eww, thats disgusting}

Martha: Listen up children, I'm only gunna say this once. This one ISN'T mine!

After Jim realized what she threw on the table he rushed in a pathetic attempt to disguise it and Martha wouldn't let him get past her. Kevin and I shared the same incoming thought and it became impossible to hold in our laughter any longer. Simultaneously we burst out chuckling hysterically, poor old Jimmy. Jim spent the remainder of the day in his room alone. I almost felt bad for him, but now we finally had dirt on him.

Martha: make sure that you boys don't bug him about that too much okay? He's a little bit sensitive on the behind closed doors stuff.

Chase & Kevin: we'll just use it once a day.

Martha sighed and said "boys will be boys".

I spent the remainder of the time making out with Kevin until his mommy ushered him into the car. Kevin had his license, but liked to spend more time staring out the window than driving.

When the two took off in the vehicle I ventured around the house looking for something to do. I wanted to do a few urban battles but I needed another player for that. I walked over to Jim's bedroom only to hear rather loud sniffling. Its never occurred until now, but I was witnessing Jim sob heavily. I opened the door without allowing it to creak. From my angle all I could see was him lying on his side hugging a small picture frame. When he glanced up at the mirror he noticed my silhouette in the background. Without looking at me, he stated "Chase, I thought you went with Martha and my son".

Chase: No, I thought Kevin needed time alone and when he's at home there is no way I'm going to let that happen.

Chase: are you alright Mr. Carlyle?

Jim replied "yes" while drying his tears off onto his sleeve.

Chase: what's the matter?

Jim: let me let you in on a little secret Chase. I once had a little fox-friend named Garrot. I believe I've slipped this piece of information into one of our previous conversations, but he was beaten to death by "The Crushers" a local city gang prone to intolerant behavior. At the time I was looking around for a companion. Garrot and I met out of school over a game of "kick the can" and instantly became best friends. I ended up ditching a lot of engagements with my school friends just to hang out with him. I have always considered myself straight so it became a real shock when garrot came onto me. He ended up trying to kiss me in an alleyway downtown. I wanted to shove it off and despise him, but it felt natural to return the kiss. He asked afterwards if I enjoyed it and I wanted with every bone in my body to say no, but I couldn't lie. Every moment I spent with him was a moment of pure happiness. We would spend every day after school exploring the urban bliss together. I found it particularly cute when he met up with me after practice because he was still wearing his baseball gear. Over and over I would ask him what he saw in me, and he would respond "I like the way that you are open to new things, the way that light sparkles off your pretty blue eyes when you look at me, and the feeling I get that you will always be there for me and listen to my every word". "What was that last part Gare?"

He would then punch me in the arm playfully whenever I said that.

Jim: Every day I would report to my parents and tell them about the adventures and misadventures we would have while we were out. Little did I know that Garrot was keeping our friendship secret. His bible thumping parents were extremely homophobic, and were always edgy about the friends that he invited over. He didn't tell me right away but he would always get in fights with his parents about where he was after school every day, which he told later told me his parents interpreted his behavior as rebellious and that his nature would change with age. When we grew a little older his parents started questioning why he was a late bloomer when it came to the dating game. After vowing he would be mine he was practically forced to run off with a girl. He had his parents convinced, but his passion was centered on me. We would still meet up but wouldn't have much time to do anything but kiss and hold each other. He was a clever boy who usually got what he wanted because he was capable of finding a way to get it. One hot summer day he had his parents convinced that he was going to his girlfriend's house but instead he stayed overnight at my house and we ended up doing "adult" stuff to each other within the comfort of my home. I learned about sex throughout a few books designed to educate us and I was afraid that things between me and Garrot would be awkward after that day, but I was wrong. I had fallen for him. I had fallen not only for his physical features but for him in general.

Jim: I will never forget this next part. It was a lonely Christmas day and I needed someone to be by my side. My parents had to spend all day job-hunting so that we could pay next months rent and since were out of jobs that year so I knew I wasn't getting any gifts. The holiday started off pretty grim, that was until I ran into Garrot. His parents had finally disowned him because he decided he couldn't stay in the closet any longer. I spotted him stumbling through the snow on the way to my house without a coat on. His fur was covered in icicles. I quickly welcomed him into my home and made him some cocoa. I shared his feelings and emotions as if they were my own. What started off as a lonely holiday escalated to a festival of passion. I won't go in to details, but we tried some new exotic positions (they were new to us). After we finished up we captured each others image on a polaroid, then we cuddled up next to each other on the carpet right in front of the fireplace.I didn't have many people to buy gifts for, so I ended up giving him a really expensive one-of-a-kind pocketknife that was handed down to me from a previous generation in my family (it was practically an antique).

Jim: Our night ended when we heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. I assured Garrot that he would be okay staying with us, but he wouldn't accept it. He said that he refused to ruin both of our lives in one night. I walked him out the back door without getting caught with him. Once we got to the intersection of fifth and mane it was time for us to part. We made out directly at the intersection, for we knew right then and there that our lives would never be the same. We had to cherish the last moment we would spend together because there was no knowing when our lives would get back on track. I gave him one last peck and sent him on his merry way. There was something in the way he walked that indicated that even though he had no place to go, that he was content. Later that night he encountered a local gang which apparently encountered him and beat him senseless over what they witnessed at the intersection. They carved in his flesh that he was a fag and deserved to feel pain on this loneliest of days.

Jim: I wasn't there to watch his beating, I wasn't there to protect or defend him, I wasn't there to nurture his wounds. He had attempted to make his way back to his parents house but bled out on the softened cold snow.

Jim: I didn't even get to see him until the day of his funeral, I had no Idea that he was even harmed until the word got around on the street. When I heard that he passed away I had to see it for myself. After viewing his face over an open casket a small part on the inside of me died. Every second I looked at his beautiful scarred face I hoped that someone was just playing a cruel joke on me or that it was his twin, but nothing like that happened. Though I was suggested not to, I moved some layers of his clothing to view the pyramid-like symbol (along with the signature of the crushers) had been inscribed into him and I had instantly made a mortal enemy with the "crushers". I was the only one who cried at his funeral.

Jim: I was the only one who cried at his funeral because I was the only one who showed up. Not even his bastards of parents were there to accompany their loss. I swore from that moment that I would get revenge on that gang. My heart was spewing with hate. Before the service was over a mysterious girl named "Martha" appeared to weep for Garrot. She introduced me and told me what her relationship was with Garrot and asked how I knew him. I told her that I was his "best friend". Her eyes swelled with tears and she fell into my arms. The timing felt so inappropriate, but her embrace felt so heavenly. This girl was obviously very unstable, I could see faded out slashes covering her wrist and knew that she needed someone to care for her.

Jim: After spending a week cheering her up, we had realized that we had more in common than we thought. I knew that nothing could ever replace the void that Garrot had left in my life, but she did a good job of covering that hole up.

Jim: I've been curious as to whether or not I was gay. I had loved Garrot both emotionally and physically but never since that point had I been attracted to another male in any way, shape, form, or fashion. He truly was one of a kind. Martha had given me all I needed in a mate. Martha had made me really happy. As happy as I was with her, I could never feel the same amount of happiness that I could with Garrot. I've even tried looking for other guys to inspire that feeling, and when I couldn't find anyone that could, so I settled down with Kevin's mom. To this day I will never know what I saw in Garrot that set him apart from every other guy, but I've learned to live and forget. As far as I'm concerned, I don't need anyone but my wife but I realize that gender doesn't establish true love. It was the loss that we shared that brought us together.

Jim: I LOVED Garrot, but I LOVE Martha.

Jim: I was afraid that when you came into my son's life that you would somehow harm him as much as Garrot did to me. I couldn't stand to see my son impacted by such sorrow, so I snapped. I also realized that if Garrot's parents would have been more accepting than he might still be with me today. Even though I know that Kevin wouldn't be born, I spend most of my free time wondering what it would be like if I was still with my first love.

Jim: You see Chase, you resemble Garrot. His struggles, his personality, his beliefs. I just hope you don't resemble his future and I want you to know that I care about you. If anything were to happen to you, I feel that I would have to relive my harsh experience through Kevin, and I'm not sure that he is built to deal with that.

Chase: I understand Mr. Carlyle.

Jim: By the way, Martha doesn't have any idea that Garrot was using her to connect with me so if you mind not mentioning him, I'd be grateful.

I never looked at Jim in the same light ever again. He had always been a very optimistic happy guy, its hard to believe someone like him has to carry around such a burden of baggage. I guess its true that everyone has their own Inner Struggle.