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The room felt cramped now that Victor was back, not that it should, it was only the two of them, Tristan had left almost as soon as the Law officer had returned with the information. Getting him to help had been easier than Alex expected it to be. Tristan had explained the situation and asked for his help, the man had nodded and then had said something Alex expected to be a deal breaker.

"I need to go to the precinct." Victor was holding the data chip with the recording of the fabricator's theft.

"Vic, this is--"

"You know I can't access the database from here. All these attacks on it made sure of that. I have to be there or I can't get you anything."

Tristan had hesitated. He put both hands on Victor's shoulders. "Can I trust you? I know we have issues, but this is greater than that. When it's over, you can take me in, I'll answer for what I've done, but right now, everyone is in danger." Alex had been amazed how, in one phrase, Tristan had been able to remind Victor of what was at stake and offer him redemption at the same time.

He'd also felt slightly sick.

Oh, this wasn't the first Law Officer they'd conned, most of them ended up dead, and Alex was confident Tristan wouldn't kill Victor, so he was getting a better deal than the others, but he had to know.

Victor had to know it was all an act. Tristan had no intention of turning himself over to him. When this was over, all Victor would be left with was the knowledge he'd betrayed the Law. He wouldn't get his redemption, he couldn't get the validation he'd done it for a good reason. Tristan would just vanish again.

And the idiot had said yes.

Alex hadn't been able to wait for more than a second after the door closed. "So, can we talk about how you constantly get on my case for having left people alive."

"Don't."

"Well, I feel kind of entitled now. I mean the few I've left alive was before I knew you. Before I knew better than to do it, but you can't tell me you didn't know he would come back to bite you in the ass one day." Alex smiled. "Well, bite might be the wrong word, that's definitely not what he wants to happen."

"He didn't matter, that's all."

"No, I didn't matter. I was just a cubicle jockey, a corporate lackey. He is a Law Officer, so you can't tell me he didn't matter. The guy worked out an extensive list of your hideouts."

"He never acted on it."

"Like you knew he'd give up." Alex stepped up to him. "Since you don't want to admit it, I'm going to tell you why you let him live. You actually have a heart somewhere under that neutron exterior of yours." He'd made to tap the Samalian's chest, but his hand was slapped away with so much strength the pain shot up his arm.

"Do not presume to know me Alex. I haven't given you that right. I let him live for my own reasons, just like I keep you alive. Do not ever forget that. You live because I can use you and no other reason." Tristan had then thrown Alex on the bed and proceeded to prove his point by using him.

He did it for longer than usual, and he wasn't gentle about it. Alex hadn't minded. He was used to rough by now, and he suspected that if Tristan were to be gentle with him he wouldn't know how to take it.

When he was done, Tristan had left him there, naked, sweaty and basking in the afterglow. He could have stayed like that for hours, but Tristan had come out of the shower and told him to wash; Alex had obeyed.

Victor had returned not long after that with a few names and possible places to find them. Tristan had left, and Alex had gotten to work getting as much information as he could on them, from where and when they were born, the kind of illness they had gotten in their youth, where and what they had studied, as well as the kind of grades they'd gotten. How much money was in their bank accounts and where they lived.

He'd dropped that information in the nod he and Tristan used and then had sat back to wait. Alone with Victor, in a room that felt ten times smaller. At least the man kept silent.

"Was it worth it?"

Alex glared at him, as much for having broken the silence as a result of the emotions the question triggered. Alex almost got out of the chair with the intent of pounding Victor until he took the question back. Was it worth it? The only thing that stopped him was the knowledge that Tristan would do worse to him afterward.

Once he had some control over himself he did stand. He walked to Victor, who was seated in the same seat as when they'd first found him here. There must have been something about his face, because the man shrunk back as Alex put his hands on the armrests and leaned forward.

"Worth it? What do you want me to tell you, Vic?" the name came out sounding like a hateful, angry thing. "You want me to say you did the right thing in giving up the chase? You want to hear about all the horrors I endured because I didn't stop? How Tristan tortured me? How he made my life miserable, how he broke my mind so I don't know what to do without him anymore? Is that what you want to hear? How you're lucky to be in your normal life, going after bad people, making the world safe?"

Alex glared at the man. He could tell Victor wanted to break the stare, but the intensity in Alex's eyes kept them locked.

"Or maybe what you really want is to hear about the opportunities you missed out on? How every day you could have been pushed past what you thought was your breaking point, only to find out there's something even harder underneath. How you could have seen sights you didn't even know existed. Committed atrocities you only dream of in that most secret place in your mind. How you could be made to feel pleasure in ways you didn't think should be possible?"

Victor did break eye contact then.

"Well? Which is it?"

When Victor didn't answer Alex pushed himself away. Once he was on the other side of the room he leaned against the wall. Feeling calmer he looked at the man.

Victor was broken, but in a different way than Alex. Alex had been broken by what he'd done, by what he'd allowed Tristan to do to him. But he'd been remade, he'd remade himself, Tristan had remade him. He wasn't whole. He doubted that was possible at this point with all the cracks inside him, but he was as whole as someone like him could be, was allowed to be.

Victor had let himself crumbled to pieces. He'd given up on Chasing Tristan, but he hadn't gone on with his life, or maybe the life he lived hadn't allowed him to. He'd been the way through which his office had been compromised twice, and yet he still worked there. That couldn't be easy for him.

He wasn't helping Tristan because he believed what he'd said. He knew very well he would come out of this the loser. He was helping because for this instant, his life wasn't crumbling anymore. It was productive, moving forward. Maybe he hoped that he could maintain that momentum when Tristan was out of his life again.

"The truth is, Victor, I don't have an answer for you. I can't tell you if it was worth it. I can only tell you that this is my life now. I chose it, and I accept the consequences of that choice."

Victor looked at him then with an intensity Alex hadn't been ready for. A yearning. Maybe he didn't hope he'd be able to continue once Tristan was gone. Maybe what he was hoping for was that he could leave with Tristan?

"Don't." The word didn't have any of the anger Alex expected to feel at the thought someone might want to take Tristan from him.

Victor's jaws clenched. The determination in his eyes mixed with the anger of someone who had been told no too often.

"Don't come after us, Victor, you have no idea how costly that's going to be."

"You think you--"

"Are you willing to lose everything?"

"You're not that--"

"It's going to happen before you find us again. Come on, you're Law. You know what mercs are like. The Life isn't for someone who spent his life following rules. You want to think you're going to be able to stick to them; that you're not going to be like those other mercs. Well, the only other kind of mercs out there is the dead ones."

The look of determination didn't falter.

"Victor, you're going to bend and then break each and every one of them. It'll start with the small ones, like not stealing, but you'll quickly move on to the big ones until you're looking at a dead body at your feet, then two, three, a dozen. You're going to be sick at first. You're going to come up with reasons as to why it wasn't your fault, not really. The guy didn't give you a choice, it was him or you. But that won't last long. Soon enough you won't feel anything, and then, if you're truly unlucky, you're going to start craving those fights, where you can let loose, where the bodies drop around you. You're going to relish the act."

Alex closed his eyes and caught his breath. He didn't try to chase the visions of the death he'd caused. Most of them were faceless bodies anyway. Only his two first had stuck with him through all the killing. Samson and the man in white.

"And that isn't even the worst of it." He moved to stand before victor. "The worst of it is the other mercs, those who you'll think you can trust with your life because they'll be in it with you. Their betrayal will hurt most of all. And it will come. Unless you betray them first, they'll betray you. That's how it goes in the Life."

Victor shook his head. "Not always."

Alex laughed. "Tristan? You think he isn't going to throw me away once he's done with me? I have no illusions about it. He keeps me around because I'm useful, because I can keep up with him. The day that's no longer true, you're going to find my body floating in space somewhere. If I'm lucky I won't see it coming, but this is Tristan, so I expect he's going to look me in the eyes and tell me just how I failed him as he rips my heart out."

"He wouldn't do that."

Alex sighed. "Victor, don't do this to yourself."

The determination in the man's eyes solidified at those words.

Alex threw his hands in the air. "Okay, fine, have it your way. It's you're life, not mine." He walked away, then spun. "But let me give you some advice, based on someone who went about this in all the wrong ways. Get in shape before you start chasing. This," he indicated Victor, "isn't going to cut it. They're going to take one look at you and not even bother laughing as they cut you down. There had to be a standard when you joined the Law, a level of health you were expected to meet, right? Get back to at least that."

He dropped himself in a chair. "Get as much of the work done before. You won't be able to find a lot of real doctors out there, and the ones you will find will charge you so much you'll never repay them, they'll own you. Get all the stem treatment done now. If you're not opposed to them, get mechanical augments, good ones, not the cheap stuff you find in the back alleys."

He leaned back. "I'd say learn to coerce, but not everyone has the knack for it, so find one you can trust, pay him or her well. If you have any money left from all that, have your coercionist start hiding it. And get new IDs, a lot of them, you have no idea how fast those get burned when you start."

Alex smiled as he remembered William and the crew of Golly's Yacht. "Get yourself a crew, protect them, give them every incentive you can so they'll want to protect you, but don't be surprised when you discover that being respected and being feared are basically the same thing."

Alex looked at Victor. "Once you have that, then you can consider coming after us. But I want you to remember one other thing." Alex's eyes became cold. "I'm not the sharing kind. So if you want Tristan for your own, you had better make sure you're a lot better than I am, because after everything I went through to be with him, I'm not giving him up without a fight. And I don't care that we're palls right now. If you try to take him from me I am going to kill you."

Alex didn't find out if Victor had a reply for him. The door opened and Tristan entered. He looked from one man to the other than closed the door.

"I found them. Pack up."

Alex nodded. Their stuff was already packed so he shouldered his bag and handed Tristan his.

"Do you know anything about this?" Victor asked as Alex pulled out the spray from his bag. The man was showing his datapad to Tristan. Alex caught sight of an explosion and texts underneath.

"Someone tried to break into my ship."

"So they blew it up?"

"It blew itself up. I rigged it to create a power rupture if anyone tries to bypass my lock."

"The explosion killed eight people!"

Tristan just looked at Victor.

"Rules, Victor," Alex said as he pushed him to the door. "Bending and breaking." With both of them outside, he sprayed the room with the dissolver then joined them.

"I'm not going to see you again, am I?" There was no pain in Victor's voice. "You said what you needed to get me to help you." He sighed when Tristan didn't bother answering. "Is the thing about the universe being in danger even true? Or did you just use me to get to someone who pissed you off?"

"Like you can trust anything he'll tell you," Alex said, stepping around him to reach the hover.

"I wasn't talking to you."

Alex smiled in spite of himself. he sort of liked Victor when he showed some spine. It was going to be a pity when he had to kill him.

"You have no reason to trust me, but yes, it's true. I wouldn't put myself through this inconvenience for anything less."

Alex watched as Victor searched the Samalian's face. He gave up not having found anything, turned and walked away. Tristan handed his pact to Alex who put it in the storage compartment alongside his.

"If you don't kill him, I will."

"You will not touch him."

"He won't give me a choice. He's going to come after you. He wanted you to take him away from all this, from the misery of his life."

Tristan turned in his seat. "If you pushed him to it so you could kill him, I will make you suffer."

Alex snorted. "Like I need that kind of aggravation. I tried to talk him out of it, but he wouldn't listen. After all these years he still wants you."

Tristan smiled and started the hover. "Good."