FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

My name is Tobias. By now you all know my last name. Yes, I'm that Tobias, the "Animorph."

Jake had us all record our thoughts in journals, just in case the Yeerks killed us all. Our parents would find the journals, and maybe publish them, or something. Now that the war is won, and Earth is free from Yeerk control, we released all the journals written over the years.

Or what you thought was all of them. But there are more, many more, that we didn't release. Here and there, each of us skimmed over things that happened, things that were far too real. But I'm here to fix the record.

I understand why Jake and Marco didn't want this one released. But this completely redacted entry shows a key moment when our leader completely lost control. Pretending it never happened won't explain the full details of just how problematic our guerilla war would become.

Chapter 15.5

Everything was a mess. Some leader I was turning out to be. I was this close to calling Cassie and tendering my resignation!

Ha, as if I could ever really resign. The world was in danger, and we were the only people who could stop it. But first I went and got Tobias turned into a red-tailed hawk forever, and now he was missing in action, lost to the bird brain he was sharing with it.

I'd heard what happened at the mall, and how Marco had barely managed to save Tobias from smacking straight into a skylight, but no one had seen or heard from him since then. The quiet boy I'd once felt so good about protecting was gone.

Not that I could blame him. I knew how hard it was to control a morph for even two hours. But Tobias had been trapped for weeks. Now Rachel was ready to charge a Bug fighter directly, and Cassie wasn't talking to me, and Marco...

Well, I couldn't blame Marco for not talking to me either.

We still hadn't sat down and talked about what happened in the woods. When I'd almost _raped_my best friend! I'd thought I could control the wolf morph, but when Marco had turned around to protect my privacy, I'd invaded his. I mean, I was _this_close to actually doing it with him, and if Cassie and Rachel hadn't shown up when they did, I would have.

Of course I apologized, but we hadn't talked about it since, and I could tell it was putting distance between us. He'd said he understood, but that wasn't enough. We had to hash this out sometime, somehow, and I had to make the first move. It was my fault, after all.

I punched my pillow. I couldn't save Tobias if I couldn't even call my best friend on the phone. I was alone in my room at 1:00 AM trying to fall asleep so that I wouldn't be a zombie at school tomorrow, hoping at any moment to hear Tobias's voice inside my head that he'd returned to the attic. Neither thing happened.

<Jake?>

I sat up. Tobias? No, it wasn't. It was Marco!

"Where are you?" I asked, glancing around the room. Maybe he'd morphed a frog or something to sneak up into my room?

<Jake, are you there?>

Not in my room, then, or he'd have heard my voice. I ran to the window overlooking my backyard. I couldn't see anything at first in the dark. He blended in too well. I thought he'd be in his osprey morph if he was traveling here in person, but ospreys were pretty bad at seeing in the dark.

Marco had chosen the next best thing - there, looking up at the window, was the wolf. The morph that Rachel, Cassie, and Marco had all adopted so that there wouldn't be tension between two male wolves.

<Jake - we need to talk,> he said simply, looking up at me.

I looked around, but it was 1:00 AM, and he was fifteen feet away. Opening the window would be easy enough, but yelling down at him would wake the neighbors. And the stairs squeaked loud enough to wake my family. No, if I was going to talk back to Marco, I needed a morph.

I held up a finger for him to wait, and knelt on the floor of my bedroom. I decided to use Homer, since I was pretty good at controlling the dog morph, and if my parents walked in, they would just assume I'd let him in from the cold. Fingers shrank and merged together, my face broke into a long, wide muzzle, bones creaking and forming as I shrank and shifted. My pajamas were close enough to my skin to sink into the morph as well.

But something was wrong. I was definitely thinking of Homer, but I was turning into my wolf morph. I couldn't even change forms without losing control! Oh well, I was just using this to thought-speak to Marco, and my parents were fast asleep. Once the transformation was complete, I hopped back up to the window. <What are you _doing_here?>

<Jake, you know why. We need to talk, and the phone isn't going to cut it. About what happened. I know you were focused on the Yeerk truck ship and then Tobias, but we can't just pretend it didn't happen.>

I took a deep breath. Somehow I'd hoped that he was here to tell me that Tobias had returned or something. I knew what it was really about, and now I felt guilty that it wasn't _me_that went to talk it over with Marco. Pretty smooth, Jake.

<Yeah.>

<Yeah?> Marco asked, incredulous.

<What do you want me to say?> I asked. I honestly didn't know.

The wolf in my backyard blinked up at me. <Jake, we aren't talking at school. You won't even sit with me at lunch. Whatever we're doing now isn't working.>

<_You_won't sit next to _me_at lunch,> I shot back.

Marco looked away. I had a point, but I didn't feel any better for pointing it out. He said, <Well, I want to. I want to go back to normal. To be friends again. It's hard enough dealing with all these aliens attacking the world, and I can't do it without you, Jake.>

<We're still friends,> I protested. But that was almost a lie. There was an elephant in the room and he was right. Sighing, I thought-spoke back to him, <Look, you're right. It's been weird between us since...that day. I know I already apologized but - Marco, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry, I don't know what came over me.>

Marco shook his head. <Yes you do. It was the morph calling the shots. It happened to me for a minute there too. And I know you're sorry. That's not why I'm here.>

<Well, why are you here?> I asked, defensively.

He paused, looking for the right words. <Forgiveness.>

<You already forgave me,> I pointed out.

He shook his head. <No, not from me, Jake. You need to forgive yourself. Right? Isn't that what's going on?>

For a joker, Marco could sometimes really surprise me. <That's...that's between me and me,> I tried to explain.

<Well, it's coming between _us_now.>

I looked away from the window, ears flattening. He had a point, but just forgiving yourself wasn't that easy, you know? There was a girl in fourth grade who got sent to child protective services because her mom would drink and hit her. Was losing a battle of wills to my wolf form really that much different than that mom? Marco had been begging_me to stop, but I couldn't retake control. Or maybe I didn't_want to?

<Jake...!>

<I'm thinking.>

<Uh...Jake...I think I might need _you_to come between _us._Like - now!>

The urgency in his thoughts shook me out of my stupor, and when I glanced back down into the backyard, I saw what he was talking about. Homer must have woken up, and snuck up behind what he assumed was a female wolf. The dog couldn't know that that was really Marco.

Now, my best friend was spinning around and growling at the energetic Golden Retriever, but Homer just wouldn't take the hint! He didn't fear the wolf's sharp fangs, he just saw another dog to play with.

No, it was more than that. I gasped as my sharp, canine eyes glimpsed below Homer's stomach. He was peeking out of his sheath. He was going to finish the job I'd started!

<Marco!> I yelped, glancing at the door to my bedroom. No, shifting back would take too long, and the stairs were too noisy. The only option was the window.

I put a heavy paw on the window, grateful that it was unlatched. It turned and opened to a forty-five degree angle, barely enough to fit through. But barely enough was still enough! Taking a deep breath, I poked my nose through the window and squeezed through onto the sloped roof that led down to the backyard.

<J-Jake...> Marco groaned.

I saw why as I skidded to a stop at the edge of the one-story drop. Marco had tried his best to get away from Homer, but now he was crouched on all fours, his back legs stiff, while Homer lapped away beneath my friend's tail. It really was just like the woods. Homer felt all the same urges I'd felt, but with no one pushing back in his head, and all Marco could do was quiver there as the Golden Retriever hopped onto his back.

<Move, Marco! Run!>

<I...can't!> he replied, looking over his shoulder at the dog on his back.

I couldn't see what was happening, but I knew all too well that Homer was lining himself up. I'd done it twice before, once to a bitch on the beach, and once to Marco, and both times I'd barely resisted the urge. But Homer wouldn't pause for even a second. Heart pounding in my chest, I took a deep breath and _jumped_off the roof, landing with a thud on the grass.

It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would.

Homer normally would have gleefully bounced over to meet the strange dog that fell from the sky, but he had other things on his mind. He leaned forward, thrusting quickly, and I could only pray that he hadn't made contact yet. I didn't want to make too much noise, or we'd be caught, but I gave a low growl and leapt at the two, snarling at Homer.

But it wasn't until I snapped my teeth at him that he finally backed off. The Golden Retriever flattened his ears and darted away from Marco.

<He didn't...did he?> I asked, panting.

Marco was panting too, but for a different reason. <N-no.>

<Thank God.> I walked between where Homer was hiding and Marco, protecting him. No, protecting her. The wolf inside me was snarling as well, competing with another male...for a mate. Without missing a beat, I went from grateful relief to fighting a battle to the death with my alpha instincts, and Marco hadn't even noticed.

<I guess now we're even?> she joked. <Are you ready to forgive your->

Her words were cut off suddenly as she felt me looming behind her. Her head snapped up and she stared back at me in the night, but she couldn't see Jake anymore. The wolf controlled my dark eyes. <Jake, wait!>

When Marco tried to dance away from me, I was helpless to prevent the ominous growl that came out of my throat, meant for both the she-wolf and for my competitor. I was scaring both_my best friend _and my dog at once! I bombarded Marco with desperate thoughts, but none of them were getting through to her.

Marco knew better than to oppose the hungry wolf that I was trapped inside. Instead, she froze in place, her tail tucked between her legs. But the alpha wasn't interested in her tail. With a snort, I poked my nose under her bushy tail and shoved it to the side to get a second look at my goal: her glistening vagina.

But it didn't look like what I'd have expected. Instead of, say, a slit between her legs, Marco was sporting a big, puffy mound that looked like a balloon, or maybe like a goat's hoof? The pink spade was inches in front of me and smelling great, but I knew it tasted even better.

Without thinking, I slurped. She was so soft and wet. I knew, now that she must be in heat, something I had to look up after last time. For whatever reason, Marco's version of the wolf morph was ready to breed, while the other girls hadn't been. They'd all chosen the same wolf, so it had to be something Marco was doing wrong.

But she tasted so right. I buried my tongue into her, and Marco just yelped and stayed put, afraid of what I'd do if she resisted. She spread apart easily for me, letting me roll my tongue around inside her. I didn't even hesitate to gulp her flavor down, so lost was I in the alpha wolf.

<Jake, that's...> Marco gasped. He, of course, was still in control of his morph, just like before. But that hadn't stopped me from mounting him last time, and it wasn't going to stop me this time either. And tonight, Cassie, Rachel, and Tobias were miles away.

I pulled my tongue free, and saw that she was literally trembling, her hind legs shaking in fear and her vagina quivering in front of me.Stop this! I begged the wolf. But you didn't tame a wolf by begging. Before I knew it, I was climbing on top of my best friend, sliding my paws around her slender waist. She felt perfect in my grasp, my chest fur nestling with her back.

<Jake, you can't - they'll _hear!_If Tom...> Marco was hoping that she could reason with my morph's fear of discovery, but she didn't realize how single-minded a male could get with his bitch.

<Oh God, you're really going to,> she whined in realization, feeling me hump like Homer had, searching for that trifold entrance. When I found it, I growled, and Marco knew she had no choice but to spread her hind legs and pull her tail to the side, bracing herself.

My tip brushed up against her bouncing spade. This is where I'd stopped with the dog on the beach, thanks to Cassie's interruption. This was where I'd stopped with Marco in the forest, thanks to both girls. But tonight, this was just the beginning.

<Jaaaaaake!> she thought-whined, her own whimpers muffled as she kept her muzzle shut. Up and in I went.

Oh my God. Waves of pleasure echoed through my body as I sank my erection into my best friend since I was just a child. Her vagina engulfed me, squeezing wetly down on every inch, and I panted loudly in her ear, clearly satisfied. I spared a glance toward my rival, Homer, who'd been thoroughly displaced, taunting the confused but submissive male. I couldn't believe it - I was losing my virginity...to Marco!

The only thing that dulled the exultation running through my veins was the obvious fact that I was also _raping_Marco. My best friend, who'd trusted me to lead even when our problems grew from who was going to win the next basketball game to who was going to live or die, was trembling beneath me, legs spread, whining in fear and desperation as I plundered her tight wolf womanhood.

A second later there was no denying it - her ears were flat, and I had hoped the wolf inside Marco had taken over, if only to make it feel a little bit better. But the next thing I heard was Marco think <I didn't...not like this!> followed by a yip and <Too big!>

But if her pleas had any affect on the wolf in control of me, I couldn't guess, because I only humped harder, hips a blur as I really got in deep. It was like I was trying to morph into Marco and become one with her. Panting, groaning, and snarling filled my backyard as I pumped into her, wishing I were anywhere but trapped in the alpha wolf's brain. I'd had some strong instincts to contend with before, but not as strong as the male wolf's desire to breed.

<Jake...> she thought, interrupted by a squeaky yip. <You - oh crap, you're getting bigger!>

She wasn't wrong, I realized, stroking back and forth in her flexible vagina only to find that I was starting to stick inside of her. I growled, leaned forward, and buried myself all the way to the hilt, balls pressing up against her thighs as I clung to her rump, feeling myself grow bigger and bigger until she was whining <S-stop, or...>

I couldn't stop. I wasn't in control! Panting noisily in her ear and drooling down her shoulder, the big bad wolf tentatively tugged backward, only to realize I'd gotten so big that I was trapped inside of her. Was that normal? I couldn't really freak out more than I already was.

Marco sounded like she was in tears, whining while she thought, <You're stuck! I can't - I can't...> And then she howled, her canine voice ringing through the suburban neighborhood. As if she could sense what was about to happen, she started to jump and kick and struggle beneath me, totally unable to get away with my penis trapped inside her.

How I wanted to let her go. How I wanted to go back in time and pick a different morph - any other morph, to stop Homer with. But I couldn't and her desperate struggles made the wolf inside me even_more_ excited. She throbbed around me, squeezing and clenching, and I couldn't hold on anymore, responding to her howl with my own. Powering forward, I pushed as far as I could go and felt a _wave_of release wash over me.

I'd never felt so good in my life, and for a moment I forgot about Marco trapped beneath me. I knew I was squirting now, trying to breed the fertile bitch beneath me, unaware that soon enough, she'd turn back into a boy and never speak to Jake again. The wolf was totally invested in the sheer joy of pumping wolf seed into her quivering womb, buried tightly inside her helpless tunnel. I just kept going, much longer than I would as a boy, leaving Marco a shuddering mess on the ground beneath me, every part of her wilted and drooping.

With a grunt, the alpha was done with her, and I watched in shock as I hopped off of Marco's rump only to turn around, a wide grin on my muzzle. Somehow I was still inside of her, and still squirting, but I could feel the wolf brain fading, his objective complete. I fought again for control. I couldn't believe how lucky we were that no one had heard our howls and come to investigate. They must have assumed we were off in the hills. Wolf calls were pretty common around here.

Finally, finally, I broke through. <Marco! Marco!> I'd been yelling.

<Jake...?> came the surprised response. <Jake, you're back!>

Finally able to turn my head, I looked over my shoulder, seeing Marco for the first time since I'd hopped off. My eyes widened, seeing the way my enormous dick made her private parts bulge. But I glanced past our entwined tails to look at my best friend, ears flat. <I'm so sorry, Marco. I...know that's not good enough.>

She was half lying on the ground, only her rump in the air, her tongue spilling out along the grass as she panted. <So big...> she whimpered, trying to shake off her daze.

<I - I raped you, Marco. I know I wasn't in control but that's not good enough. I understand if you never want to ->

<Shut up, Jake.>

Her tone made me cock my head. <What?> I asked.

<You didn't rape me, Jake! I wanted that...more than I've ever wanted anything, I guess.>

<But you tried to run away from me. You begged me to stop!>

Marco admitted, <Yeah, at first. But after you licked me...it was like before, in the woods only this time I kept control. I spread my legs for you - I lifted my tail.>

I had to admit she was right, but I'd assumed she was doing that because she was afraid of me. Marco said, <I looked up wolf courtship, you know, Jake. When a girl wolf doesn't want it, she's got the teeth to put a stop to it. And I didn't, you know, at first. But oh my God that felt good...!> She glanced back over her shoulder, looking at my bulging penis, stuffing her tight vagina. <I thought you were gonna burst me!>

<Look, I know what you're doing, Marco,> I sighed, looking away. <You're trying to distract me, and make me feel better about what happened.>

<I'm not!> she protested. <Here I was worried that I_raped _you! After all, you were the one along for the ride, while I was in control! At least until you - I, uh - until I howled. Then the she wolf took control for a bit.>

Marco winced and shuddered, moaning softly. <And you're still...uh - cumming. This isn't how I pictured my first time, Jake, but...what a way to go.>

Maybe I believed her. He was putting up a good show at least. <It was my first time, too,> I admitted, grunting and squeezing my balls. <So...what now? Oh, God, the time! How much time do you have left, Marco!?>

But she just chuckled. <Don't worry dude, I've got like an hour left, easy. If you don't, uh, shrink by then, I'll have to try shifting anyway, but I think we'll be okay.> On a more serious note, she said, <Let's just call it even, Jake. We didn't really want this, right, but it wasn't so bad. And now it's over and no one else needs to know, okay? Deal?>

<I guess so.> But Marco growled at me, and I quickly said, <D-deal!>

I don't think either of us expected to resolve the tension between us in quite this way, but it worked like a charm. We went back to sitting together at lunch, planning missions, joking with the girls, and playing video games.

But sometimes, out of the corner of my eye, I swear I caught Marco looking at me with a distinctly lupine hunger in his eyes...