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My name is Tobias. By now you all know my last name. Yes, I'm that Tobias, the "Animorph."

Jake had us all record our thoughts in journals, just in case the Yeerks killed us all. Our parents would find the journals, and maybe publish them, or something. I'm not sure why he made me write one too...my aunt and uncle didn't even notice when I disappeared.

Now that the war is won, and Earth is free from Yeerk control, we released all the journals written over the years. You can find them all online if you search hard enough.

Or what you thought was all of them. But there are more, many more, that we didn't release. While the general events outlined in the journals is true, there are large gaps in the story that were left out. Intentionally.

It was pride, I think, more than anything. We weren't proud of everything we'd done. Here and there, each of us skimmed over things that happened, things that were far too real.

But I'm here to fix the record. The others will be furious, but I'm long past caring what they think. These lost journal entries should be available for everyone. I'm not going to let us rewrite history just to suit our feelings.

To prove that this is about telling the truth, I'll start by releasing my own journal, my first entry. It takes place just after we first met Prince Elfangor, and escaped the Yeerks who had killed him.

Chapter 6.3

I guess this is as good a place to start these journals as any. Jake told us to write the truth, and the whole truth. Any bit of information might help...those who come after us...to win this war if we go down fighting.

I don't see how this can help, but since these journals aren't going to be released unless we all die, I might as well. And even if I died, I doubt my Uncle would bother to look through my things.

It was the night after we had all escaped the Yeerks. All of us were shaken by what we had seen, and split up. I didn't even know if everyone had made it out alive until Jake called us all.

Something about the Andalite really...connected with me. It was the hardest thing I had ever had to do, leaving his side, but when he commanded me to run, I ran. Suddenly the entire world seemed different...seemed better.

I know that's really selfish, right? I know the Earth is under attack, and people are being controlled by creepy alien brain slugs that want to dominate the human race. But I would never regret meeting Prince Elfangor, despite the circumstances.

So there I was, rattled, sitting in my room alone with our two cats, Dude and Mittens. They looked almost identical, but Mittens was a teensy bit smaller. Both were striped tabby cats with gray, black, and white fur arranged in spots, stripes, and swirls. Mittens had white instead of black feet though, hence her name.

And Dude? Well, he was called that because he was the male one. We'd never gotten him neutered, and I don't really know why. He was an arrogant little ball of fur, and territorial, and he was probably increasing the pet population of our city. We didn't want kittens though, so we got Mittens spayed.

Of course I remembered what Elfangor had told us - that he had given us the power to morph into animals. I was just sitting there, petting Dude and Mittens, and I thought, "Why not give it a try?"

I locked the door, and sat down on the bed, concentrating. I just tried to think about becoming Dude, and it happened easier than you would ever guess. In moments, when I looked down at my hand, I saw growing fur. Gray, white, and black fur was sprouting from my hands, arms, legs...everywhere!

Not only that, I was shrinking. Fast. One minute I was sitting on the bed, and the next minute, I was standing on the bed. It was this part that really freaked out the cats. Mittens bolted for the closet and Dude went nuts, flailing and clawing me pretty badly on the finger. But as the transformation continued, my injured finger changed into a healthy paw.

I could feel my bones crunching, but somehow, it wasn't painful, just weird. That's when the tail sprouted like one of those fast-motion videos of a seed becoming a flower. When I thought about moving my tail, it moved! It was the weirdest thing.

Then, it was all over. I was lying under a pile of clothes with just my head sticking out my shirt collar. My room seemed much larger, and I'd seen my white paws and tail myself, but it was hard to believe what had really happened. Until my senses kicked in.

My vision was sharp but dull. I could see colors but they didn't really matter to me. It was motion that really caught my eye. I saw the real Dude sitting several feet away, watching me with his tail twitching.

But even sight paled to scent. I could suddenly smell the entire world. My clothes smelled interesting and crisp, and I realized that's how I must smell as a boy. My new, cat scent covered the room, making me feel comfortable. Dude must have scent marked my entire room!

I crept out from under my shirt, stretching my legs. Oh man, was I powerful. Every motion I made carried with it a tense, coiled strength that I could unleash at any moment. As if to prove it, I jumped from the bed onto the dresser, at least three feet up. I wondered why I was so comfortable moving with four legs, but I guess that's because the cat's instincts took over.

From the dresser, I scanned the room, absentmindedly licking my white-furred paw and drawing it back over my ears to clean them. Something was wrong, and my tail twitched instinctively. I realized the scents weren't right. Most of the room was covered in Dude's scent. I could smell him sitting there, even.

But I didn't smell like Dude. There were other cat scents in the room, and they were much closer to me. Wait, white paws!? Dude has black paws! I had transformed into Mittens!

Alarmed, I tucked my head down and looked between my legs. Yep, I was definitely not Dude. I hadn't known this sort of thing was possible! Then again, I hadn't known I could transform into a cat at all. I certainly wasn't going to tell the others what had happened!

It was time to change back. I didn't want to be a girl cat for any longer than I had to be. I began to concentrate, thinking about being a boy again. Just as I felt myself beginning to change, Dude leapt up onto the dresser with me. I freaked out, mewing and spinning around, jumping down to the floor. Only, Dude followed me. I don't know why I was reacting so crazy, but I certainly wasn't able to concentrate on changing back.

He chased me and I fled, marveling at my strength and agility. I turned this way and that, sometimes in mid air. I bounded around the bed frame, spun, and jumped onto the bed in one quick motion. I tensed my legs and sprung back onto the dresser! It was exhilarating.

Dude was behind me every step of the way, and I got annoyed at his persistence. I made my stand against the forward feline, drawing my claws threateningly and yowling at him. He thought better of pursuing me then, jumping back to the bed from the dresser and staring at me. What did he want?

Something else was wrong, but I couldn't place my finger on it. It smelled like there were three cats in the room, Dude, Mittens, and me, but I was a copy of Mittens wasn't I? The real Mittens was hiding in the closet, watching us nervously.

Sniffing, I sampled the huge amount of aromas in the room, but the ones that really stood out were the three, distinct, cat smells. I guessed that even transforming into a cat I retained some of my old, human scent. That was as good an explanation as any.

I jumped down to the bed to try to change back. Hadn't the Andalite said something about not staying in a form for more than three hours? Or was it two? I'd have to check with Jake. Though really, would being a cat forever be so bad? I bet my uncle would pay more attention to me.

Dude was still waiting at the foot of the bed, watching me cautiously, his tail flicking back and forth. Well, I figured as long as he kept his distance I would be okay. I began to concentrate. But I didn't get very far.

It was as if I was sharing both my body and my brain with Mittens, even though I knew I wasn't the real Mittens. Anyway, I wanted to change back, but Mittens wanted to flop onto the bed and roll around. I'd like to say I won that battle of wills, but in the end, I flopped onto the bed.

I began rubbing my body against the sheets, kicking my legs. I flipped from one side to the other, my fur tingling against everything I touched. It was like I was on fire, itching and burning across my entire body. I'd never seen Mittens acting like this. Did I do something wrong with the transformation? It had only been about ten minutes, I couldn't have reached the time limit, could I?

I was in agony. There was nothing except the frustrating itching. Not painful, but infuriating. I wondered if this would be the end. I kept flopping around, rubbing myself against the sheets while Dude watched calmly from the other end of the bed. But nothing seemed to satisfy the itch.

Was this what a seizure felt like? I'd heard about seizures before. I think my great aunt had them. Suddenly Dude started approaching me, and my eyes fixed on him. The large tom cat crept slowly forward, even as I writhed. Startled, I sprang to my feet, crouching and staring at the tabby cat. I felt like hissing, but I didn't.

Still I burned, but I held my pose, ready to respond to anything Dude would do. My hips were raised, my tail waving back and forth in the air. He kept sneaking closer. Soon, Dude was standing a foot away from me, and all my muscles were tensed and ready to jump, or fight, or run. I wasn't sure what.

In the end, I didn't do any of those things. Dude pounced. It was so quick, if I had still had my human eyes, I wouldn't even have seen it coming. Everything about me wanted to turn tail and run, but the Mittens part of me wanted to stay put. So I stayed put, scared and confused.

Dude swiveled in midair resting his hefty weight on my back. I was pinned on the bed, beneath him. Then I felt four pin pricks on the back of my neck. Was he biting me? He pushed on my neck, forcing my head against the bed.

He was a lot heavier than I was. If I had wanted to run, it was too late. I could feel his belly fur along my back, his bulk weighing me down. The bite on my neck wasn't painful, but it was strong. But why was he doing this? Was he holding me down so that I didn't hurt myself during my seizure? I wasn't sure cats thought that way.

His legs straddled my body, pressing up against my stomach and hind legs. Then I noticed something I hadn't expected. The itching was gone. Everywhere that our bodies touched felt normal. God, what a relief! Perhaps the Mittens sharing my brain knew that would happen. I heard a strange sound, and realized it was me, purring.

Dude didn't stay still, though. He kept lifting his back right foot and stepping on me. Repositioning his feet. Every time he rested his full weight on me, his rear end would press heavily on my hips. When this happened, I raised my hips. I didn't think about it, I just did it. I guess that's why whenever I petted my cats near their tail they lifted up.

I didn't mind. If he was somehow stopping the itching, burning...need I had been feeling, it was worth it. In fact, my head was clearing up, and I thought I could try transforming now. I knew Dude would probably scratch me up if I started to change right now, but I was getting pretty sick and tired of sharing a body with Mittens.

His leg slid off me one more time, and then I felt it. My eyes popped open. Something strange was going on at the very end of my body. It wasn't painful, but it was very noticeable. My mind was no longer clear. I was confused and uncertain. I felt weird between my legs.

It was weird in a good way. I don't know how to describe it, but I felt connected to Dude in a special way. My tail was on end, and my hind legs trembled. I was whole, full. Dude tightened his grip on my neck, pulling on me. He held me there for a least thirty seconds, feeling heavier on my back the longer he was there.

My ears perked up as I heard a sort of splashing sound. A wet slurping behind me. But none of that mattered for the next few, dreadful moments. He sprang away from me, his weight leaving my body. And when he did, the pleasant trembling I had been feeling was replaced instantly with intense pain. I howled in agony, and spun around, looking for Dude with my claws bared. He would pay for whatever he had done to me!

He was already several feet away, watching carefully, his muscles tense and ready to flee. I decided to let him off the hook for now, because I was still stinging. I ached somewhere between my legs. Had he hurt me? Was I injured? I rolled onto my back, twisting my body so that I could look.

There, at the base of my tail, I found out what was hurting so much. When I had first found out I was Mittens, I had checked between my legs. The little spot that had made it clear beyond doubt that I was Mittens and not Dude had been a light pink color. Now it was a bright red, and it hurt beyond belief.

That's when I finally realized what had happened. It hit me like a truck. How could I not have realized what was going on? I guess I thought since Mittens had been spayed, I would be too. But I guess Prince Elfangor had said something about DNA, so I should have realized. Dude had...climbed on top of me and...

My first time had been with a cat. A TOM cat. I didn't even know what to think. I didn't want to think anymore, so I just, how do I describe it? I just let Mittens take over. There was a lot of comfort in putting that little ball of feline grace and power in control.

I bent down to lick my sore opening. At least I wasn't itchy anymore, but if Dude got closer I would tear him to shreds. He watched me from a safe distance, his tail twitching. Why wouldn't he just go away? I didn't want to see him, and he'd already gotten what he wanted.

I watched him warily for a few minutes, but then it happened again. I started to itch all over, especially at the spot between my legs. I gave up any sense of decency and began licking down there. It made the itchiness go away.

But it wasn't enough. I burned all over my body. I began rolling around on the bed, trying to smother myself in the sheets, but nothing worked. That was when Dude began walking toward me again. The Mittens in me crouched and stayed put, just like last time. But I knew what was happening, and I couldn't just let Mittens make all the decisions.

I tensed my muscles, preparing to leap at Dude with my claws and teeth bared. But when he got near, I didn't do that. Try as I might, I couldn't make myself attack him. Mittens was still in control.

I didn't move as Dude climbed on top of me again. His fur along my back felt so good. The itching stopped. He clamped his teeth on the back of my neck, and I lifted my haunches. I couldn't resist him. Shivering, I moved my tail to one side.

I struggled to crawl away from him, but his grip was too strong. And I didn't really want to. The cat in my brain was right where she wanted to be, and even I was finding it hard to want to leave. It just felt so good to be under Dude.

He held me down and began adjusting his feet. I could feel him poking me below my tail, searching. I raised my hips until he was lined up correctly. I was purring.

What was I doing? I couldn't just let him do this! But I couldn't escape his grip. My only hope was to change back to Tobias. Steeling myself, I concentrated harder than I had ever tried. I was a boy! With dirty blond hair. But I lost my concentration a second later, when I felt Dude hit home.

I lay there quietly, but I was in heaven. I could feel him deep inside of me. He held himself there, lightly gripping the back of my neck. My body quivered from the sensation. I even placed my front paws on the ground, and pushed back against him. I knew what he was doing to me, but I didn't care.

Then, with a splash deep inside me, he was gone. As he left, the pain I had felt the first time returned, only slightly dulled. I screamed and spun to try to claw him, but Dude was already several feet away. Why? Why did it have to hurt so much?

Breathing heavily, I curled up and began licking myself down there again. It felt too good to stop, even though it disgusted me. Twice now, Mittens had won the fight to control our mind. Would I ever be able to win? I looked at the clock. Thirty minutes had passed. Prince Elfangor had said two hours was the limit, I was sure of it now. I had to change back.

But I couldn't do it. The itching was so distracting, and many minutes later Dude approached me again. I couldn't stop him, and most of me didn't want to resist. It felt so good that it was worth the intense moment of pain at the end.

I lost track of the time. I was trapped in a cycle that I didn't even want to break. I lost count of how many times Dude had his way with me. He was on me now, and I was purring as he pushed inside. Then I noticed the clock.

I had ten minutes left. I was going to be stuck as a cat forever! Feeling Dude on top of me, I wondered if that would be so bad. I wondered if I would have kittens. I pushed back harder, yowling loudly as I tried to fight my instincts. I battled with the pleasure washing over me. This wasn't right. This wasn't me!

"Tobias? What's going on in there?"

My uncle! He was outside my door. I screamed louder. The doorknob stuck. It was locked!

"Tobias, open up! Are you in there?"

Why had I locked the door? My uncle was my only hope now, and he was on the other side of a locked door. My yowling must have woken him up.

"If you're in there: I'm going to get the key. I think one of the cats is hurt," he said, though he must suspect by now that I'm wasn't in my room.

God, I felt good. Even as my minutes dwindled, I couldn't deny the pleasure Dude was giving me. And had been giving me. I was almost disappointed to hear the key rattling inside the lock.

The door opened and my uncle entered the room, watching us. Even though he had no idea I wasn't Mittens, it was still really, really embarrassing. I mean, my uncle had never even seen me naked, at least not in the last 5 years. And here I was, doing it in front of him with a male cat. As a girl cat.

"Dude!" he yelled, angrily.

The tabby cat took that moment to do the deed once more, pulling off of me. I screamed.

My uncle grabbed Dude and tossed him outside the room, while I yowled in pain. He closed the door and sat on the bed next to me. "Are you okay, Mittens?"

He looked me over, even between my legs. I almost died. The real Mittens was still hiding in my closet, but I could see her over there. I just prayed my uncle didn't notice!

"That bastard cat, doesn't he know you're spayed? I guess we'd better get him neutered. This hasn't ever been a problem before." The clock said I had two minutes left. Come on, Uncle, leave!

He reached a hand over to pet me. I'd had enough. I hissed at him and batted at his hand. He pulled it away just in time. At least he got the message. "Alright, alright, I'll leave. I just hope there's no lasting damage..."

He left, and I wondered why I never heard him be so concerned for me, Tobias. He cares more about the damn cat than me. I shifted back to Tobias with only a minute to spare. I collapsed on the bed. I had a lot to think about...