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The dagger eased and the door opened - lighting a dim passage. A push from behind - not hard but insistent - forced me forward. As I stepped through, I noted the words carved in the lintel "Abandon All Hope of Honour Beyond these Walls". I knew I was in the right place.

A few more steps revealed a room with a table. Several hooded individuals stood in the shadows seemingly fading in and out of view.

The table had two chairs - one of them filled on the other side by a bent hooded figure that seem to radiate great age - also reinforced by a hand resting on a wooden cane.

"Please.. Sit.. Lud" the older one spoke. His (it was a male by the timbre) voice was soft but strong.

"You are mistaken " I replied "My name is Aramund"

The figure laughed at this "Who do you think set you on this course Lud. A parchment with our signal, a name, and a tome that you read. Plus many other tomes. Yes - we watched - as we do. Seeking out those who are more.. flexible of mind and skills."

I bowed my head "My apologies - you would have known everything."

"No - we are Not omnipotent - though many fear we are.. But we are good at what we do and who we select. Your presence here tells us you have chosen. There is no back, unless it is to float lifeless in the river. Are you ready to leave your old existence?"

And so I joined the Assassin Guild as an student.

There were initially five students in a group - overlooked by a Master. Ours was Tharis, also being the old one who greeted me inside the door many months back. Of us five only Myself, Acton (a female) and Charen (a male) had come this far. The others whose name are not important to history I will leave out. Whether the guild was true to its reputation that failures met their end I do not know. The Guild has MANY secrets that need to be kept. (I would learn much later that those who could not master the.. rigors of becoming a Spy Master often went in to research or collating the vast amount information that we gathered - I was heartened to hear that those bright young minds were not lost)

Our skills were weighed, and our tutoring adapted for that. Myself had an emphasis on flexibility and strengthening what muscle I had. My small size being an advantage in that I could be easily be overlooked as a cub or a smaller female. Lock picking, escaping bindings (hanging with a rope around my balls still gives me nightmares), and of course potions and poisons. Disguises and voice training were also important. Whether to appear and sound like a pre-pubescent child, or speak with a deeper imposing voice delivering the full force of the Guild's authority behind it. Different regions were studied and the quirks of inflection too. I could within a single conversation move my speech patterns from one end of the continent to another - all flawlessly.

We also studied anatomy - dissecting the bodies of not only Lupions, but of nearby races too. Charkans - a more feline species were on an advancing campaign so knowing where a kick or a blow can incapacitate quickly, and the Hrrse - a reptilian warm blooded race who's scales and built in armor gave particular difficulties.

Some were most interesting such as with the Charkans - a gentle pressure just behind the left.... But I digress with my notes - it is not important.

On our third year we were given a fledgling Coramot. A small bird that nests in the castle eves. They were common, noisy, and we were to use them to test our skills of potions. I found myself becoming attached to the noisy, smelly, dirty ball of fluff - whom I named Roget. With my experience as a help I kept him clean, well fed, and in good health - and his bright eyed look of adoration was a comfort to me.. I know - in reality it was the food I stuffed his greedy gullet with - but a comfort never the less..

I grew experienced also in various potions - being able to put him in to a deep slumber akin to death and bring him back to life again. Understand - he was NOT a pet - just a tool for our training and I had hoped that when I was done, I could free him to live with his noisy companions in the eves above.

At the end of our third year we were gather to be judged by the Masters. "Show us What You Have Learned" was the simple statement given - and we each with our tools of small vials and packets set to work.

Acton went first. Deftly mixing her potions she created her pill - showed it and then fed it do her peeping fledgling. It peeped and flapped its little wings excitedly and begged for more. When no more was coming it settled, drooped, and was quiet. Too quiet. It keeled over lifelessly. "I can sever the neck if you wish to check it's heartbeat" she asked the Judges.

"That will not be necessary Acton. Thank you for the demonstration. Next Please"

Charen's turn - quickly he ground several powers together and then fashioned his pill - being careful not to touch the finished pill with his fingers. Picking up a pair of tweezers he grabbed the pill and fed his fledgling with it, stepping back afterwards. It peeped for more.. then paused and peeped again however the peeps became more frantic. It stretched it neck forward and tried to vomit up the pill with a shrill sound of pain, then agony as it's beak became flecked with its internal blood. Trying to raise its body up on unstable legs it strained to void its bowels only to jet blood from it's anus. Blood was now seeping from other orifices - and all the while Charen watched proudly at the application of his skills. Fortunately, it was over quickly - the powerful poison silencing the sounds and the loss of blood bringing a blessed cessation of consciousness.

"Lud.. Your demonstration please. " The Master intoned. I gulped and looked at Roget - his bright eyes watching me with trust. I carefully made my potion, measured the ingredients and hoped.. Hoped my knowledge was correct. I held the pill in my fingers to show the judges and fed it to Roget. The greedy fledgling gulped it down and peeped for more.. Then he burped, wobbled, and closed his eyes. After a few moments he was a sleep and then a deeper sleep.. his muscles relaxed, his breathing slowed and stopped!

The Master stood "Thank you - I will let you know the results - please take the remains back with you". I lifted the cage holding Roget's lifeless body, bowed and left. As soon as I was away from the examination chamber I moved quickly to my quarters. "Please" I though "Please let me be right." I lifted Roget into my hands and warmed him, massaging his form to help give him breath. I was like that for hours until I heard a quiet peep.. Then another. I opened my hands to see him sitting there - eyes bright - and then he peeped some more and opened his beak. Joyfully I fed him till his crop was full, then put him back in his cage and covered it.

I was resting in my chair when I heard the knock at my door.. "Lud.. This is Master Tharis. Open This Door Now!!"

I mentally ran through my reasonings, steeled myself, and opened it.

Master Tharis walked in - supported by his cane. He looked around and saw Roget's covered cage. Before I could say anything he reached out and pulled the cover off - Roget looked up in to the light - opened his beak and peeped.

"Why?" the Master asked - though his tone was enquiring, not angry.

"Because.. Because the exercise did not call for it. You specifically asked us to Show Our Skills. I have demonstrated that I have the skill to master potions - and as such Roget's death was not needed."

"Understandable.. But again Why?"

I hung my head in shame and whispered "Because.. Because I do not wish to kill."

Master Tharis sat and motioned me to sit as well. I was unsure of what my punishment would be - to my knowledge expulsion mean certain death..

"Young Man.. Not every solution requires a death. Sometime the illusion of death is all that is needed. In my opinion it take far more skill to walk that narrow line between life and death - and to drag life back from that state."

"So I passed."

"Yes Lud - you have passed."

"If I have passed then what of Charen?"

"People like Charen are needed for more.. intense activities. Even now he is packing his bags to go in service of the King. We can teach him no more here. Others more versed in the ways of pain can deal with him now."

"And I?"

"Young man - there is so so much more we can teach you - your training will continue"

I breathed a sigh of relief as Master Tharis stood and made his way to the door. He paused there "Lud.. I and the other Masters have noted that you never go to the bars and brothels. Is there a reason for this?"

I gulped - knowing that my greatest secret was to be revealed. Visions of the inquisition and being tortured flashed through my mind. But not to answer the truth to the Master would be an insult to him. In a very quiet voice I replied "I.. I find myself attracted to males.. I'm sorry - I always have been."

The Master was silent for a few moments then he huffed "Very Good. If you go to the Green Markets - at the end there is a stall that sells Viritsn Gourdes. Behind there is a small tavern. You may find the company there more to your liking.. Goodnight Lud"

I stood stunned "Good.. Goodnight Master Tharis"