FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

I remember my first death..

I was awoken in the middle of the night by a pounding at my door. Throwing a robe on I opened it to see a pair of the King's Guard standing to attention.

"Follow Us, Bring your tools" one of them commanded and turned to march away, the other taking position behind me.

I was puzzled, worried - what had I done. All I could do was to keep a calm demeanour and follow orders until I had more information.

Down I walked - through the secret passages that connected our academy to the rest of the castle. I guessed that I was now under the main keep by the changes in the stone work and the patterning on the floor. As there were no windows I was definitely underground. The scents on the air changed too - from musty stone to acrid tinges of blood, fear, pain, and other bodily fluids.

Stopping at a guard station I was thrown another robe - "Put this on." the guard commanded. With no choice I stripped to my loin cloth and put the new robe on. Surprisingly it fitted me well, and it was Black.. Only Spy Masters wore Black! A few more steps and I was halted outside of a cell.

"The prisoner inside is a spy, and enemy of the King. We have gotten what we want out of him. The King commands his death. You are to execute him."

This was my deepest fear - to take the death of another. I am NOT a coward. But.. I was commanded!

I nodded and pushed opened the door. Inside was a male Charkan - a nearby people - sworn enemy of the Lupions. He had been badly treated, his fangs torn out, his finger tips swollen, bloodied, and clawless. One eye socket was depressed and shut, plus a blood soaked rag covered his groin. His breath was shallow and pained - indicating a broken rib or more.

I looked at him - estimating his weight - and prepared my poisons. I had been commanded to kill this man but not the manner. This was MY choice and I was going to do it My way - consequences be damd.

First I prepared a powerful pain killer, mixed with a sleeping drug that was potent enough to stop the breathing and heart. I added some sweet herbs - knowing how bitter the other ingredients would be. The herbs also gave it a pleasant scent. Finally, a mild euphoric of my own devising. Putting this into a cup I mixed a measured amount of water - and was ready.

I stepped forward - knowing the man could hear me, and leant down to him to whisper "I have been commanded by my King to take your life.. " His jaw tensed so I continued "Drink this - it will ease your pain, and your way to the afterlife. You have done your duty - time to rest Warrior"

I pressed the cup to his broken lips and tilted - he breathed in - nostrils flaring at he caught the herbs and the sweetness. Carefully I tilted more and he drank until the potion had gone.

"Do you have family, loved ones in your home land?" I asked.. A barest nod "Think fondly of them now.." reached down and took one of his battered hands in mine and held it - I felt a slight squeeze back and his breathing eased and slowed. His head drooped as the strong narcotics did their work, and he slumped. Expertly I felt his pulse stutter and cease in my grip. It was done - in my mind I knew he had not died alone and in agony.

I stood and gathered my things and walked back to the door to face the fury of the Guard Master. "What the HELL was that!! " he screamed in to my muzzle. "I said to KILL him.. Not baby him to death!!"

"No - You told me to Kill him - not the manner how.. Are you questioning my methods Guard Master.. And please address me as Spy Master and treat me with the honorific it deserves lest you find yourself sampling some of my other potions.."

He backed down quickly at that and I was escorted back to the academy - still wearing my new robe.

A day later I got the summons before the council. I stood before three masters - Master Tharis was in the center. He looked up from his writings "Spy Master Lud.. Your conduct with the prisoner and your confrontation with the Guard Master was most.. Illuminating.. Will you explain."

"I was told to kill him - but not the manner of his death. I was also told that there was nothing more to be gained by torture. There were no other witnesses aside from our Guard. If there were other Charkan warriors watching I may have taken a different tack - that is if the requirement to make them fear us. But even if that was the case - who were they going to tell?"

"You were seen whispering to him - likewise explain."

"I did not want him to struggle whilst I administer the poison, so I told him that his life was at an end, that there was to be no more pain, and to think of his family. Since I knew the mixture was very bitter I had sweetened it so he would not gag or try to spit it out. I held his hand to monitor both his muscle tone and his heart beat so I would know when the poison had taken effect."

Master Tharis leaned back "If you were in a hospital easing the life of a warrior in to the next I would understand - but This Was An Enemy!!!"

I bowed my head "Respectfully Master - he was also a man, a warrior who fought for what he believed in. And gave his life to his duty."

Master Tharis said to the two other masters "Leave Us.."

Once we were alone he looked at me. "Compassion" he stated - though his tone was not severe. "That is a rare quality for a Spy Master. It could cause you a lot of problems - but I hope you can temper its needs against your responsibilities. You tread a dangerous path.. Lud.. The Guild will protect you from the wrath of the Guard Master - but even we have limits. Dismissed"

Years later I was in my quarters when a frantic knock alerted me. "Spy Master Lud - please bring your kit. Master Tharis has need of you."

Puzzled since this was not the normal request of a fully guilded member - so I grabbed my things and followed the servant.

I arrived breathlessly a few minutes later to Tharis's quarters only to find my way blocked by a crowd of others. "What Happened" I asked. "Master Tharis had a seizure and fell - he had broken several limbs" someone replied.. Tharis.. Master Tharis had been a constant presence in my life since I entered the academy, through my trials, and well into my professional career. Why he would ask for me and not a medic I do not know. I was ushered into his room. The Master lay on the bed, limbs bandaged but showing the damage - if he survived he'd never walk again even with his cane. And I could see that he was in great pain.

"Spy Master Lud " a pained whisper called "Come closer"

I went and knelt at the side of his bed "Yes Master."

"Please.. Call me Tharis.. Little Mouse" - no one had called me that for years.

"Ma.. Tharis. How can I assist."

He breathed shallowly "I remember your first death - how you treated that prisoner. I.. I had always wondered the mix that you used. Would.. Would you honour me by mixing another like it."

I gulped "Of course Tharis.. " and used a small table to measured and mix the powders, then a cup of water to dissolve it in. Turning back to him I knelt - seeing him try and move his broken limbs to take it.. A Master should always decide his time but he was too injured.. So I gently lifted his head and placed the cup to his lips and whispered "You have done your duty to the King.. Tharis, time to rest now, Dear Friend" He drank, then settled back "Thank you Little Mouse.." and he was gone.

Steeling myself as it was not seemly for a Spy Master to show emotions I stood, gathered my things and walked back to my room - feeling the watching eyes following me.. And then in the privacy of my room I locked the door and buried my muzzle in to my pillow and wept for hours..