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My life is certainly interesting at times. I've recently bonded my life mate. A hot English born Red Fox. But we won't have the usual 'get to know your mate' adjustment period. He practically raised me and my brother from the time we were born. But we'll get to that soon enough.

I'm Dr Claude Marcus Kitman II. I'm an Internist. I'm also said to be a genius. I finished High School at age 13, College at 16, Medical School and my Residency by age 20. I'm now 24 and have been a Doctor for almost four years now. My older brother is a Doctor too. Rory's a Cardiologist. He practices in the same building I do, just a floor below me. I have a couple of partners in my practice. Dr Nigel Davenport, my best friend, an English born Honey Badger. Nige and I met in Med School. And we're so close. Only Rory is closer to me. Nigel is smaller than me. 5'9" and 165 to my 6'4" and 225 pounds. His fur is Black, with two White stripes on his head. And a wide Honey Tan stripe running down his back and down his tail. He's a beautiful Badger. Warm and funny and kind. And luminous Green eyes that will be the first thing you'll notice about him.

Our other partner in practice, is also his mate. A big Russian Grizzly. Dr Vladimir Breshnikov. Vlad is huge, 7' and 320 pounds of Dark Chocolate Brown furred Ursine muscle. With Deep Blue eyes and huge paws and foot paws. Only animal I know with proportionately bigger foot paws than mine. He's also a top with a massive Ursine dick. Vlad is 16" when full hard. And huge balls that are always full. (He's hot for my ass too, we'll fuck at times both at home and at the office. Vlad gets horny easily and he'll see which of us isn't busy when he does, and he'll bend me over my desk and rut me. We're both loud when we fuck too.)

Rory Micheal Kitman, my older brother is a much larger Lion than I am. He's also 2 years older, he's 26 now. Rory's 6'9" and 300 pounds. He looks more like Dad than I do. I look more like our Maternal Grandfather, Dr Walter C. Russell. Rory's got the same Golden Tan fur I do, and we both have Dad's Sapphire Blue eyes. Rory's got Dad's Black mane and I have a Red Blond one. Rory's tail tuft is Black too. Mine is the same color as my mane. We both have forepaws and big foot paws. But mine are bigger even though he's bigger overall. We both have typical Feline dicks. (Yes, I've slept with him, often in fact) Pointed tip, barbs and all. But Rory's bigger than me. I'm 14" and Rory's 18", he's as thick as Vlad. And my brother is an excellent lover.

We're both rich. Our Paternal Grandfather, my namesake, Claude M. Kitman started the family business that became a huge conglomerate. CMK Industries, now run by our Dad and our Uncle Marcus. Grandpa K gave us money when we hit 12. $500 Million worth. He loved his grandsons but didn't find it easy to always tell us. But when we were older and Dad took over CMK, he relaxed an awful lot.. Mending his relationship with our Uncle Marcus and getting closer to all of us. And then a year later we lost him, and we were all so grateful Grandpa found the strength to finally show us the love he'd always held in his heart for us all.. Marcus and Dad now run CMK together, and they've gotten as tight as Rory and I. We got money from him, but Rory and I would give it all back to have Grandpa Claude back for even a day. We loved him and were glad we finally got the chance to tell him so. He was proud of us both and prouder that I carried his name.

You'd know my Dad if you saw him. (You might even recognize Rory and I too from all of the media coverage we've endured since we were little). J.T. Kitman is a big, beautiful African Lion. Black maned and Sapphire Blue eyes, and a solid body. 6'6" and 250 pounds of hot Lion male. Dad's mate, Harry Belford has been like a Dad to us as well. Harry's a big Bengal Tiger. Same size and build Dad is. He's a bottom and he's as hot for Dad as Dad is for him.

Harry's got the most gorgeous ass. Even I'm hot to be up it. Harry's solid built stocky, and his Orange and Black striped fur is sleek and lush. And he has the most gorgeous Amber eyes. And a big smile. He and Dad have a very active sex life. And you can hear them all over the house. Even on the rare occasions they fuck in their own bedroom. (I came home from being called into the Hospital one night to find them loudly fucking in the large tile shower in my bathroom. What could I do? I got naked and got in with them. It was the first time Harry played 'Daddy Tiger' with me and tore my ass up while Dad tore his up. A great night.)

We're originally from Alabama. But I came out here to go to College then Med School and bought this big house we all now live in. Rory went to the U of A and got his MD, and then moved out here. He missed me a lot.

Dad and Marcus followed a year after. Marcus found a mate out here, and his Al Washburn is a cute, stocky White Bengal Tiger. Al wouldn't say anything to Uncle Marcus. He was a janitor at CMK and one day Marcus saw how Al was looking at him. And sent Dad to go talk to him, to let him know he was interested in him. I think it's funny that both Dad and Uncle Marcus went for Tigers. And he and Al live with us too. They're very much in love. And proof we're not snobs. Harry's an auto mechanic. Harry fixed Dad's Mercedes at the dealership. And Dad fixed Harry's ass hard and fast in the bathroom. And when they kissed they bonded. They're red hot for each other even three years later. They fuck more now than in their beginning. Dad loves barb fucking Harry. And you can hear them yowling together all over the house when Dad rakes Harry's ass with his thick, sharp barbs. I make a lot of noise when Dad barbs me too. Rory and I did that too. And I was embarrassed when he did and I laid on the bed badly cramping up for an hour afterwards. Rory knew what it meant as did I. My body desperately wanted to be bred by him. It was trying to ovulate to give my Brother cubs. He made a joke of it. But he knew too that I have always loved him. As he loves me. If we weren't brothers we'd of bonded as soon as I hit 18. We both know that. (I know in my heart that I'd of given Rory a couple of litters of Lion cubs if I could)

I really love my Uncle Marcus a lot. He and Dad are so different though. He looks like a smaller Dad. But their personalities are like night and day. Marcus is funny and sarcastic and probably a lot smarter than Dad. He detests obvious oversentimentality And he's visibly uncomfortable with very emotional animals. But he loves his youngest nephew a lot. And he's been so good to me and Rory both. I took to Uncle Al right off and it made Marcus very happy. But I had to, he loves Uncle Marcus so much. And Marcus is so happy now, he's beginning to relax a bit, like Grandpa did. (It took some doing but I finally got Uncle Marcus to fuck me, he and I and Uncle Al had an amazing threeway, and we'll still play from time to time.)

My Mom died giving birth to me. I never knew her, and Rory didn't really know her either since he was only 2 when she died. I have some pictures Edward saved. He loved her too. He told me about when he came here from England at age 16 to begin working for Dad and Mom. How sad he was, even though he'd been trained for it all of his life, and how scared he was. And how kind and supportive Mom was to him. And she was only 3 years older than he was. Edward says Dad was broken up for a long time after Mom died. And he worried that Dad would never recover. But Dad snapped out of it. Edward and Marcus convinced him that his sons needed him. And he came around.

I have seen Grandpa Russell a few times. He's amazed that I look just like him. He's proud of me, Rory too. But Grandpa Russell is a famous PhD Physicist, a Nobel Prize winner, and he's very busy with his research. That and his tendency to be the archetypal absent minded professor. He'd been out to see us a year or so ago. And typically me, I got him to fuck me. He's a good lover. But having him on top of me and stopping to write notes on his latest experiment threw me a bit. Still, I love him. I know I have his genius as well as his looks. Rory too. Rory's as smart as I am.

Grandpa will call me when he remembers his Grandsons. And we forgive him. It's just how he is. He loves his Grandsons. And though he's mated now, his little Joseph doesn't have it much easier. Joseph is a Gray Fox, one of Grandpa's research assistants. He's told me he has no idea if he'd ever get to see Grandpa if he didn't work there with him. But he's devoted to Grandpa. Life's little things puzzle Grandpa. He may understand the wonders of the Universe, down to the Quantum level. But things like remembering to fill his car up with gas or what his ATM numbers are confuse him. Joseph has his hands full keeping Grandpa Walt on track with life. Joseph tells me though, that Grandpa will come up to him, out of the blue, kiss him and tell him how much he loves and needs his Fox, and Joseph knows it's all worth it. And they have an active sex life. Like most Lions, Grandpa has a high sex drive. I've always teased Joseph about being glad Grandpa doesn't forget he's a horny older Lion.

My Edward Featherstone is our English born family retainer. Edward is big for a Fox, though he's slightly smaller than I am.. He's a Red Fox and he's 6'2" and 240 pounds. Edward has a cute little paunch that he's self conscious about. He has beautiful deep Green eyes and a warm smile. Big paws and a thick bushy tail. His fur is a kind of Orange Red, and his paws and arms up to midway between his wrists and elbows are White, as are the last 3 inches of his tail and his foot paws have White toes. The very tip of his muzzle is White too, and he has the thin, curved Black marks ringing his muzzle that a lot of Foxes have. His hair is a Reddish Brown and he keeps it short. He's a very sexy Fox. Not that I'd let myself notice. By Edward's life contract, we're not allowed to have sex with him. He'd be immediately recalled back to England. His contract is a remnant of the old ways of his family. They've 'been in service' for generations. They're also psychic. (Though surprisingly Edward didn't see the most important thing in his life coming, us bonding.) Edward has a deep, calming voice. And that gentle English accent that rivets my attention and has since I was a young cub. And he's a caring Fox, but he's got that 'English Reserve' thing going so often. Especially when he wants to hide his feelings. (He buried his love for me for longer than even he will ever know)

We have two couples living with us too. My Physicians Assistant, Nate Porter, a young Snow Leopard and his Russian born mate. Yuri Petrov is a big Gray furred Siberian Bull. Nate is smaller, 5'9" and 160 pounds. He has Amber eyes and the usual Pale Gray fur with Black Rosettes of his species. Nate looks like a skater boy type. But he's brilliant, he just doesn't care if you know it or not. Our patients have nicknamed him 'Snow Meow'. He's a playful and talented bottom.

His Yuri is a big, sweet natured Bull. Yuri's 6'8" and 320 pounds of almost perfectly sculptured Bull muscle. He has Deep Gray fur, gorgeous Crystal Blue eyes, Black hair and a thick Black goatee. His hoof and tail tufts are Black too. Yuri's hung well, and he's a tender, sensitive lover. He's so good he's made me cry when he's made love to me. He's got a huge heart and he'd do anything for someone he cares about. Yuri is one of those animals who'll come along into your life only once, if you've been really lucky.

The other couple living with us is a big Palomino Horse, Ed Kolinsky and his Lion mate. Jock Mac Gregor. Jock is a Red maned Lion. He'd been a Marine for a long time, and he's got a rock hard body. Dad's always hot for him, (My Dad, the horndog) Jock's a hot Lion and a bottom. Jock's build is similar to mine, but he's much buffer than I am. And his Blue eyes are so sexy. Ed is a big built Palomino. Golden Tan coat with Almond mane, hoof tufts and tail. Ed works at the gym Rory goes to. They're friends and Rory asked them and then me if they could move in. Ed's going to College and Jock's military pension doesn't go very far, and them living with us, and providing meals, and laundry and all, really helps them out. And I love having them around. Jock's high spirited and fun. And Ed's a sweet and sexy Horse. He broke me in so I could take Horse Cock. Took a while, and a half bottle of lube. But Ed was so caring and gentle. I loved it. Like Yuri and Nate, they make our home a happier and joyous place. Jock and I worked Ed up together one night. Made him so happy. He always dreamed of being worked up by two Lions. He's hot for us Lions.

Our home is a warm and happy place. Full of love and joy most times. High drama occasionally but it's kept running smoothly by our English Fox. Edward is a great cook, and extremely organized at keeping up with the housework. And Dad has told me he used to be a lot more staid and rigid. And he's always been there for Rory and I, and now the whole household. Our family loves our Fox. His wisdom and good advice has helped us all. He probably knows me and Rory and Dad and Harry better than anyone. (Though he knew Nigel and Vlad would bond, he didn't know about me and him, it caught him totally flat foot pawed)

It's my 24th birthday. (August 8th) and I'm having a busy day. I get a call from Rory mid day, I'm seeing so many patients today I haven't had time to pee, let alone have lunch. "Claude, I got good news for you" he says happily. "I just bonded someone" he says joyously. "You bonded a patient?" I ask. 'No he was here with his Dad" Rory says. I'm silent. It now means Edward and I are the one single animals in the house. Rory tells me about his Teddy Mitchell, a big Grizzly Bear. I know him. I've been to the bar he runs. The Bear Den. Picked up a lot of hot guys there too. I've had sex with him as well. Teddy's older than us. (33). And he's big, 6'7" and 280 pounds, and he's a lot like a smaller Vlad. And he's a bottom/versatile. "I'm happy for you Bro" I say trying to sound happy. "Claude, we're going to hole up at the Clarion tonight" he says. "OK, Bro, have a good time" I say. And he hangs up. I begin to feel sad. It means Edward and I are the only unmated animals at the house. Never thought I wanted a mate yet, but now, I can feel how acutely alone I am at times. I try to put it out of my mind as I'm so damned busy.

I finish out the day. And I'm really tired. But I'm in no mood to go home. So I go to the Bear Den, I know it'll still be open even though Teddy isn't there. I sit and have a beer. I'm sad. I am happy for my family, they are so dear to me. But I'm so tired of being alone. Now everyone but me and Edward is mated. I've been alone for quite a while and not bothered, but it's now making me feel lonely.

I know Pete, the Bull that's running the Bear Den for Teddy tonight, he and I have fucked and he's got a big Bull dick. But he's too busy to talk to me. Maybe I can hang out until he closes the bar and see if he'll come home and fuck me. He has before. And he's a great Bull top. But even though I get plenty of sex, in the middle of the night, I feel so all alone even if I have someone sleeping with me. It's just not the same. I wonder if anyone will ever love me 'that way'. To be mine and not just want to fuck me, but to want me, the Lion I am inside, beyond just being a hot, and tight piece of Lion ass.

I look around the bar, and there is no one I know even a little bit. This isn't helping me at all. Pete tells me he has a date tonight for when he gets off. And I'm about to leave when a guy I've slept with before comes up to me. "Katya" he says happily. Grigori Petrovitch. A big Clydesdale Horse. Chestnut Brown coat and amazing Blue eyes. 7'2" and 330 pounds of beautiful Russian Horse. He kisses me. "Katya take his Horse tonight?" he asks. "Love to" I say.

"How about I take you to dinner first, somewhere really nice?" I ask. "Katya take his Horse out, show him off?" Grigori asks. I nod. I call for reservations. Grigori like me is a Physician. He's a Endocrinologist. And he's in a suit like I am. I get reservations at one of my favorite expensive places. I tell him where. And he grins. "Want go there long time" he says happily. I kiss him.

He puts my arm in his and we get in my Mercedes S560 and I drive us to the restaurant. Seeing how happy I've made Grigori makes me feel better. (Won't last) And Grigori is great to spend time with out of bed as well. Bright, funny, warm and charming.. I've never tried to bond him, but I think I just might try tonight. He's so much fun to be with. And such a hot Horse too. Bodes well for us.

We get seated and order. And we talk. I love spending time with Grigori, he's bright, funny and warm. And the dinner is good, Grigori is very happy. He likes the food and the atmosphere. And he's looking forward to a night of good sex, just like I am. He's a very loving Horse top. And a great kisser too. But while he'll have hot sex soon, I won't, not with him anyway. Very soon I'll see how foolish it was to even think about trying to bond this beautiful Russian Clydesdale. And it'll hurt very badly. Grigori embodies all I'd want in a mate. Sweet, sexy, hung and good with it, warm, charming, and brilliant. It is kind of the last straw in my mind. A lot of things will break free in my mind. And I'll go after the one I've wanted for so long and never dared to try to bond. I'm drunk as Hell by that time, but still more aware of what I need than I'd of thought for being that snockered.

I hear my name called. I turn and it's a guy I know. He's a Doctor as well. Dr Mike Gentry. He's a really good friend of Nigel's. Mike Gentry is a smaller Grizzly Bear. 5'10" and 180 pounds. He's a handsome one too. He walks over to the table. I invite him to join us. (Little do I know what's about to happen) He and Grigori chat a bit when I introduce them. Grigori seems fascinated by him. And over coffee and dessert, on some kind of impulse, they kiss. And Mike faints. I'm trying not to show how upset I am. And failing. I'm happy for them, but I'm really miffed. Fortunately for me, they're too into each other now to notice me at all. (Talk about having your muzzle rubbed into it.)

And I pay the check and I run out to my car. I feel ashamed though. (Really adult behavior here, Claude, get mad because you're alone. Don't even think about how special it is that two very good animals you really like found love with each other. Just go sulk because you're alone and you'd of taken Grigori yourself if you could have. Lot to be proud of here....SIGH) Mike will take Grigori to his house I'm sure. I go back to the Bear Den. And I get roaring drunk. Some fucking birthday. (I have to say I have little tolerance for alcohol, doesn't take much to make me drunk but I have way more drinks than I should)

I pass out at some point still at the Bear Den. I'd been playing the piano Teddy keeps there for me, and singing too. I just passed out onto the keys apparently. And when I wake up. I'm naked laying in a bed. No idea how I got here, let alone how I got naked. But as I've opened my eyes, I know it's my own bedroom. I start to move a bit. I can feel someone laying next to me. Obviously I brought someone home while drunk. I hope he's good looking at least. It'll be embarrassing enough to have to admit to him I don't remember picking him up. And though I wrack my brain, I don't remember who it could be. A lot of guys talked to me last night, none of whom I met before, so it could be a total stranger. I was very drunk and I think a lot of them thought they could get me to go home with them. One of them obviously succeeded in getting me to bring them home. (Not true at all.)

Not just laying next to me, he's got his dick up my ass. It's a Canine dick too by the feel of it. And he's got his knot wedged up me as well. We're locked together by what feels to be a larger than usual Canine knot. In fact, I can feel that it's not just a Canine dick but a really big Canine dick. I found a Canine with a big fat knot and a huge Canine dick. Showing my usual tastes apparently even if drunk.

Looking down I can see a big pair of foot paws by mine. In fact, they almost look vaguely familiar. It's a Red Fox, as I can tell by the shape and the Red feet and White toes. And as I look carefully, they do look surprisingly familiar to me somehow. Well I must have picked up a Fox to fuck me. I'm fond of being tied, and I like feeling a Knot in my ass. Though I generally prefer Wolves if I'm in the mood for Canine dick. Still I have no reason to complain, as this Fox is a very well hung one. Judging by the amount of cum on my belly, he's not only hung, he's really good with it. The Fox is snoring gently. It is odd that he's asleep and his knot is still inflated keeping us locked together. They only do that with their mates I'd heard. I know I'm not getting loose from him til he's awake and he releases me. I'll stay tied to him happily and sort out who he is later. I lay back down and I snuggle back into the Fox and he holds me tightly to him. I do sleep better when being held. And his knot up me is very comforting to me. Like he's holding me from the inside too. I feel peaceful and content as I drop off to sleep. (Won't last) I don't know how long we've slept but it's been a while from when I drifted off at least.

I wake up to a loud voice, a familiar voice too.. "Oh my God" I hear from behind me. And the Fox is pulling me backwards, his knot is still inflated and won't pop out of me. I look back at him and I understand it all immediately. It's Edward. And he's panicked. "Calm down, Edward, try to relax, and let your knot deflate" I tell him. "Claude, how did this happen" he moans. "I don't know, I was drunk, I don't even remember coming home, Edward" I say softly. "I was upset and lonely too, everyone is mated but you and me, and I had some wine, so I am a bit drunk too, Master Claude." Edward says softly.

"I do remember you coming home now, you were brought by a friend of Nigel's, and he brought you to your room" Edward says sadly. "I got you undressed and into bed and I don't remember much more about it at present" Edward says softly. Edward grunts and I feel his only slightly deflated knot slip out of me with a loud, wet popping sound. "Claude, I'll have to go back to England in shame now" he says starting to cry. "Please, Edward, don't leave me" I beg softly, and breaking into tears. "I have to, Claude" he says. "I have to leave immediately" he says and he ups and runs out of the room.

I'm still too stunned to get up and follow him. I can remember the sex now very clearly though. Edward was a very, very good top. He came at least six times up me. And that was after some very masterful fucking. My belly and my sheets are wet with my own cum. And I feel kind of sad now. I miss him already. It hurts to think of him leaving me, leaving our home and the family who loves and adores him. My heart breaks just to think of him not being here with me. I've really fucked things up. My family will hate me, they all love Edward and how he tends us all. And I can hardly bear the thought of my Edward leaving me for good. He's been mine since I bought this house and everyone came out to California to live with me. And we've all known that sex with Edward is forbidden. Especially for me, his owner.(His family is a old and very traditional one, with some kind of odd ways.)

But he won't listen to me if I talk to him now. But there is one matter I have to settle for him. (I owe it to him to make sure he gets back home properly) I go to him. He's upset, never seen him anywhere near this upset in fact. . "Claude, I don't blame you for this, it's my fault." Edward says softly. "I've wanted you so badly since you were of age, and I'm not surprised that I went after you finally" he says softly. "It was bound to happen eventually Claude" he says sadly. "Claude, I was so lonely of late, I know I am part of the family, but I have no one, late at night I am all alone, never bothered me before, but I feel it acutely now." he says. "I know, I feel that too" I say quietly. (According to Grandfather, our mutual loneliness made us face our feelings for one another, and since we were both drunk we acted on them immediately. Once we knew how hot we were for one another.) But Edward is wrong about it being his fault, I do remember that much now. I went after him, I started it. I remember that much now. I grabbed him and we kissed and I begged him to fuck me. And I can understand now, he was hot for me and hiding it and then I come on to him like I did. No wonder he caved in. Especially if drunk. Oddly enough, I've never seen him drink much either. Turns out neither of us have much tolerance for Alcohol. And now that I remember it too. I remember Edward told me several times how much he loved me too.

"Let me call Grandfather, maybe if I beg him not to recall you, and swear I'll keep away from you, he'll let you stay" I say softly. "No, Claude, I won't do that, I can't stay away from you anymore, you were a very passionate lover, you were really into me, and now that I remember what happened, I remember that you clung so tightly to me as we fucked, and you'd call out my name and gush cum onto my belly, I can't stay out of you now, I'd fuck you again, I want you now even though I've never been so upset." Edward says softly. "Edward, I know it's not going to help, but I'm so very sorry, I'd give anything not to lose you" I say quietly. He nuzzles me. "I am as much to blame here, Claude" he says softly.

"Claude, you begged me to knot you and we were going to do a turn around when we fell asleep" Edward says looking down at the floor. "Claude, I'd never knotted someone before, and it was amazing, and it made you even hotter, you whimpered and kept cumming on me when I pushed my knot up you" Edward says shyly. "Anything I did to you made you get hotter for me, you told me how much you loved me several times in fact" Edward says tearing up. "I have always loved you, Edward" I say quietly. I know now I love him 'in that way' and I'm going to lose him for good.

I remember it all. I did say it, and I did mean it, and I think I might still. For all the good it'll do me. I'll love him and he'll be back in England determined never to see me again. I can't tell him how much I love him. I know now how much I do. But he's not going to stay here, and it'll only hurt him more to know that. I can't hurt him anymore than I have already. I know I love him and it means I'll be alone for good now. (I had no idea we'd bonded, just knew how much I did love him, and not as the fatherly retainer he'd been since I was a cub. I wanted the beautiful Red Fox that he is. He is the male meant for me, for life.)

Canines love it when you let them knot you. Especially if you let them turn you. They'll move and you'll be butt to butt. And it puts tension on their knot and they'll cum. Like every two to three minutes. They live for it. And I've heard it's great for the bottom too. The knot is right at your prostate and the sensations are supposed to be amazing. I remember how good Edward's knot felt. It was hot and I could feel it pulsing inside of me. In fact, while he held me and we slept, I dreamed I had borne a litter of Edward's kits. He was so happy and proud of the beautiful Fox Kits I gave him.. But that's all in the past now. He'll leave, even if I beg him to stay and tell him how much I love him. He's ashamed to have broken his family's rules. I don't even know if he'd stay if we were to bond right now.

"I have to go, there is no chance he'll let me stay here, and I'll miss this place so much" he says quietly. "I can't deal with how much I will miss you, Claude" he says plaintively. I hug him. He holds me and he cries. "I will miss you so much, Claude, I love you, and I will miss the only family I've ever known, I'll go home in shame and end up teaching the young members of the family how to serve" he says weeping. "They all love me here, and I will miss them" he says crying. "Please, Edward, we can work something out with Grandfather, don't leave me, not just the house, please don't leave me, I need you, and I think I'm in love with you" I beg him. "No, Claude, I have shamed my family, and it tears me apart to even think of leaving here, but I must go" he says firmly. I know not to say anything else now. I can see it in his eyes, his heart is breaking too. I know of no way out of this, I'll have to watch him walk out of my life forever, taking my heart with him. I have to let him keep his English retainer's dignity intact. I've cost him so much already. No matter how much I hurt, I have to let him go without hurting him more. I can already see the devastation in those beautiful Green eyes of his.

He lets go of me. "I must pack, you must allow me my dignity now, Master Claude" he says putting on the English Reserve. "I'll pay for you to go back, I'll call and get a reservation, Business Class on BAL, I owe you way more than that Edward" I say softly. "I would appreciate that, Master Claude" he says and he pushes me out of the room. But I can see the tears forming again. I hurt so badly I have to wonder if I'm going to survive this. Losing him, losing the Fox I know I love, missing having a retainer as wonderful as he was. Grandfather will not send anyone to replace him. I broke our contract by sleeping with Edward. I've shamed him in the eyes of his family, and made him go against everything he's been trained for since he was a kit.

I go back towards my room struck by an even worse thought. How do I tell the rest of the family? They all love Edward too. And they'll hate me, as it's my fault he had to leave. I can just imagine the sarcastic cracks Uncle Marcus will make now, and Dad, Dad'll be furious.. Maybe I'll just move out on my own now. No reason to stay here now, I'll give Dad the house and find a condo or something all by myself. Edward did teach me how to cook and clean. Edward, my poor Edward.. He's been so much to me, and he was a magnificent lover. . Just thinking of Edward leaving makes me cry. It feels like the end of my world somehow. (It would be, even though I don't know we've bonded, if he leaves and isn't around me. I'll be at risk to develop 'wasting syndrome' and I'd be dead within a year.) (A bond that isn't fulfilled, the bottom will usually get it, I'd stop eating and lose interest in life, and I'd gradually waste away, and inevitably get sick and die. And nothing but us getting back together would stop it. Even if I was force fed I'd still waste away.)

Nigel wanders out. "You look awful, Claude" he says quietly. I sit on the couch and I explain it all. "He's leaving, just because he fucked you?" Nigel asks. "It's all to do with his family and their traditions, his life contract forbids him to have sex but especially with me, since by it, he belongs to me as the owner of the house" I say quietly. "He must be heartbroken, he loves it here" Nigel says. "He is, and so am I, Nigel" I say quietly.

"Nige, I'm.... I'm in love with him, I've felt odd since we got up, when he ran out of the room I felt so empty" I say quietly. "Doesn't matter though, he's leaving and he feels shame, and nothing I say or do will keep him from leaving here for good" I say breaking into tears. "I loved his fucking, he was an amazing lover and I woke up with his knot wedged up me, Nigel, it felt so good, to sleep with him locked to me" I say. I get up. "I have to go make the reservations to send him home, I promised, Business Class on BAL" I say. Nigel laughs. "Like you send me home to see Mum and Dad, and sent Vlad and I so they could meet him" Nigel says. He puts his arm around my waist and walks me to my room.

I pick up my cell off of the desk. "Oh, Billy Mac called me, he brought you home, and your car keys are on the desk like he said" Nigel says. "Thank him and his big assed Tiger for me" I say quietly. Billy Mac Marks is a good friend of Nigel's and he and his big Bengal lover are good, and caring animals. "He saw how snockered you were and he drove you and Ben followed him in their car" Nigel says smiling. I tried to get them to move in, but Billy Mac's Mom is sick and they live with her and Billy Mac tends her. Nigel and I go by their place and help with some things so he can keep her comfortable and in her own home. She loves Ben like a son too.

I look at my cell. I check the voice mail when I see its icon flashing at me. "Time to for me to face the music, Nige." I say showing Nigel the name on it. Grandfather Featherstone. "He didn't waste much time" Nigel says softly. I nod. And I call him without checking the message. He's sounding very happy when he answers.

"Claude" he says happily. "I'm sending Edward home as soon as I can get him a flight, Grandfather, please be kind to him, he's upset and he's really ashamed for letting the family down" I say breaking into tears. "I'm afraid I don't understand, Claude" he says. "I left a message for you two" he says. "I just called you when I saw it, I wanted to get it over and done with, I'm so sorry, it's just as much my fault, please don't just blame Edward." I say sounding rather tragic. "Claude?" he asks. "You don't know?" he asks. "Know what?" I ask. Grandfather laughs. "You have always cared for him, you both think you have disgraced our family, so you haven't recognized it yet" Grandfather says laughing. "Recognized what?" I ask. "Claude, I saw it before it happened, I know what you two did, you were drunk, so was he, so you don't yet understand what happened." Grandfather says happily. "Please Sir, what don't we understand?" I ask. "Claude, I'm so happy now, you and your family were always so good to my Edward, model owners in fact, and now you're family" Grandfather Featherstone says joyously. I wish he'd just spit it out. I'm already sending my beloved Fox home for good. What else could have gone wrong? Bad enough my heart is being taken back to England with my Fox. How much worse could this get now?

Family? What the Hell? It's beginning to make sense to me just as soon as I stopped being so tragic. "We bonded, Grandfather?" I ask. "The light dawns upon you now, my Grandson" he says proudly. "He needs to know, Grandfather, he's heartbroken at having to leave here in shame, I'm going to assume it means he gets to stay with me.." I say hopefully. "I will call him in a bit, Claude, and it does, he will stay with you for as long as he lives." he says. I break down and cry. Grandfather lets me for a few minutes. "It's all going to be fine, Claude, you love him as he loves you" Grandfather says softly. "You've always been good at honoring our traditions, and you both were blinded with pain over him having to leave, so you didn't feel it" Grandfather says softly. "I didn't let you down, nor did Edward" I say relieved. "Claude, this has happened before, a family member or an owner has bonded their retainer, I couldn't be happier that you took my Edward, you've been a great owner" Grandfather says softly. "You hurt missing him already but also that you hurt him and defied our traditions, you've always understood our traditions and our family so well, Claude, you understand Edward too" Grandfather says. "I know you'll be good to Edward and love him so much, he'll be happy once he's recovered from the shock:"Grandfather says happily.

"Claude, I have dispatched his cousin Rennie to you already, he will take Edward's place as your retainer now, and I hope while he will help train Rennie, that he will take to retirement gracefully" Grandfather says. "It makes me your Grandson too?" I ask. "Yes, and I am proud of that, you will make Edward very happy now, and he has been in love with you for a long while, but he hid it, even from himself so he would be able to properly keep to his duties, I am very proud of him for that, it must have pained him greatly, and I will tell him so very soon, I'll let him know when Rennie will be there so you can pick him up" he says and he hangs up. I'm so stunned I just look at my phone for a minute. Am I still drunk? Did all of this really happen, did I really bond my beloved Fox and did Grandfather retire him to be my mate for good? If it's a dream or an alcoholic hallucination I never want it to stop. I solemnly resolve to never drink again.

"We did more than just fuck, he bonded me, Nige" I say shaking my mane. Nigel laughs. "Claude, you know you've been lonely, you missed having someone of your own, Jeanie told me about Rory's call, he's mated now and it left you the only one here without a partner" Nigel says. "Me and Edward, or at least we were alone, yet, now that he's my mate, Grandfather retired him, and his cousin Rennie is coming to take over the house" I say smiling. "I wonder how he'll take this, he'll be retired and as my mate, Rennie will belong to him too" I say softly. Nigel smiles. I know he and I have gone over all of this stuff concerning Edward and his family and the old ways they go by. . It hasn't totally sunk in on me yet, I've got a Fox of my own. A mate who I know and respect and who knows me probably better than I know myself.

Out of curiosity I listen to Grandfather's message. It's pretty much what he told me when I called. He was proud to have me in the family and he knew I'd love Edward as long as we both lived. I should of listened to it. But it means more to have him tell me directly. He's proud I'm family and I won't lose Edward and I'll get another retainer so my Fox can retire.

"I wonder if I should go tell Dad" I muse. "I heard him and Harry fucking as I came down the hall, Claude" Nigel says. "I'm not in the mood to deal with a horny Dad and it can wait" I say shaking my mane again. "I need to go talk to Edward when Grandfather has talked to him" I muse. It's just beginning to hit me now. Edward is my life mate, my Fox retainer isn't a butler anymore , he's my love, my life partner. And I hope he'll be as happy as I am for us to be together now. I still am in shock to the point I haven't let it in fully. I'm mated, to a Fox I have loved since I was a tiny cub who hid his love so he could stay by me and our family. I know Edward was loyal, kind, affectionate and very smart. But hiding his love for me had to hurt, I'll spend our lives together making up for that pain. And I wonder how long I have loved him, to take him like I did, right away, means I had to love him too. And how long, how long have I loved him as more than family, more than just my English retainer? My mind is still reeling from all of this. (I never do figure out just when I fell for him as my mate. Nor does he ever realize when he fell in love with me. But unlike me, Edward doesn't want to know.)

My cell rings again. Rory? I answer. "Claude, are you OK?" he asks. "I think so, but right now I'm not 100% sure" I say laughing. "Pete called Teddy, he was worried because you seemed so determined to get absolutely snockered, he told me Billy Mac took you to the house, but Teddy just told me all of it, and I worried, I've never known you to really try hard to get drunk, what happened, Little Bro?" he asks. "Rory, I'm not sure you'll believe me when I tell you what just happened, let alone why I tried to get so drunk." I say quietly. "Try me?" he asks. I tell him about Grigori and then he and Mike bonding at the restaurant. "I'll have to call him later" Nigel muses. "I was convinced I'd never bond anyone and I'd go through my life alone, surrounded by happy, loving couples" I say quietly. "That I'd just be everyone's little fuck toy on the side" I say sadly. "I woke up in bed with someone, turns out I bonded him while I was drunk, he'd had a few too" I say. "Billy Mac brought you home alone Pete said?" Rory asks me. "He did apparently" I say softly.

"So who's my new brother in law, Claude?" Rory asks, his voice heavy with curiosity. . "You know him already, we both know him well, he practically raised us" I say laughing. "Not even you would bond our Dad, and Harry's a bottom, and Uncle Marcus wouldn't leave Al for anything." Rory snorts. "Think Foxier" I say laughing. "Everyone at the house but you is already mated, so who...."he says and then stops. "No, it can't be him, he'd have to leave" Rory moans. "It is him, and he's not going anywhere, though we had a bad 30 minutes or so thinking he'd have to leave in shame" I say. "How do you know he won't have to leave?" he asks. "Grandfather Featherstone called me, he'd seen it and he's got Edward's cousin coming to take the house and Edward is officially retired, as he's my mate now" I say softly. Rory's laughing. "I know he's been hot for you, he'd hide it, but I saw how he'd look at you Claude" Rory says. "You were naked in the pool once and it made Edward drop a tray" Rory says laughing. I remember. Only the second time since we were cubs we ever saw Edward drop anything. His proper English retainer soul simply would not allow for that. And I kind of wonder how he'll cope with being retired now. And if he'll be happy I belong to him now. I know I need to go find him and talk these things out.

"Rory, I was happy for you and Teddy and I'm sorry if I wasn't sounding very enthusiastic" I say quietly. Rory laughs. "We were a bit worried at how you reacted, but we kind of forgot as we rutted for each other" Rory says softly. "Rory, I was feeling sorry for myself, and I'll make it up to you guys" I say softly. "Claude, I do understand how you felt, you've been happy, but the last few months you seem to be lonelier, and I know you've tried to bond a few guys, I was sad for you, but I wasn't expecting to bond Teddy, and we were just kind of caught up in the joy of it" Rory says. "I know, and I'm sorry I was sounding like such a wet blanket" I say quietly. "I know now why I couldn't bond anyone else, I was meant for Edward" I say. "And he didn't see it, that seems odd to me" Rory says softly. And I wonder now too. He sees stuff, he's psychic, yet he had no clue I loved him and that we'd bond? Gonna have to talk to him about it soon.

"Claude, you know how much we all love Edward, he's like a father to us both, and most of the household as well, I know you'll be good to him" Rory says softly. "I know, I had a moment myself of wondering if I was worthy of our 'Fox Father' " I say quietly. Rory laughs. "Only you, Claude, only you would worry about that, and I know you'll do everything in your power to make him one happy Fox." Rory says. "You spoil and cater to your boyfriends and you'll spoil him as much as he'll let you" Rory says.

Vlad wanders in and he picks Nigel up. "Badger come back to bed" Vlad grumbles and he leaves with Nigel under his arm. I smile. I'd of taken Vlad myself, but he wasn't interested in dating me. He'll fuck my brains out now, but he didn't want to date me when he was single. "Rory, I'll see you when you guys come home, I think I need to go talk to my Fox" I say softly. Rory hangs up.

I lay on my bed and I look at the clock. It's not as late as I thought. God only knows when Billy Mac and Ben brought me home as it's just 5AM now. I must still be a bit high in fact. I'm a lot calmer than I usually would be. And I think a bit. I can feel Edward's heart. I can feel his love for me, yet I'm not sure why I couldn't feel it when we were so upset. But I put my own feelings aside to comfort him.

I think about how I've seen him over the years. Surrogate Father, Wise counselor, Amazing cook and housekeeper. And I see I've thought of him differently since I hit 18. I know I was busy in school, but still. And I know now, I would not let myself see him for the hot, sexy Fox he is. And Rory saw his interest in me. I might have seen it, but refused to acknowledge it out of fear of losing him. And now this. I'll let him handle training Rennie if he wants to. And where is my Fox now? (I know I'm rambling, I'm so damned happy now. I have a mate, not just a mate, but a mate I know I can trust with my life and my heart. A mate who's loved me since the day I was born.)

And I wonder if Dad will take it as well as Rory and Nigel did. On the other paw, there are few adults Dad respects and cares for more than our Edward. The whole family is going to be curious to say the least. They all love Edward. And I love him so much now. I hope he'll adjust to how life is now for us.

I hope he won't have trouble adjusting to being 'out of service' now. He has spoken to me of others of his family bonding or being allowed to retire when they get older. I will do all I can to help my Fox cope. And I'm really proud of catching him as my mate. Even if we had some bad moments at first worrying that he'd have to go home in shame. I'll make it up to him. I swear I will. He's my Fox now. And he'll be my husband. It's kind of how I am. I'll mind him and I'll cater to him and Rory was right, I'll spoil him as much as he'll let me. And I know, I've seen him relax a bit at times. He's warm and funny and he can be joyous too. I wonder how the rest of the family will take to Edward's fun loving, happy, joyous side. And now that he's not our retainer, he can fuck anyone who wants him. I know Nigel, Nate, and Papa Harry at least will go after him as soon as they know he can fuck them. Probably Jock and Al too. I can't blame them though, I want Edward to fuck me a lot too. I lay back on the bed and I recall how it felt when he made love to me.

And speaking of my Fox mate. Edward walks in carrying a few boxes and a suitcase. "I'll wait for later to bring the rest of my things in here" he says with that 'English face' going. I am a bit surprised he's not more enthusiastic. I shouldn't have worried. As he puts the boxes down and he jumps on top of me. He deep kisses me and I faint. I come to. "Grandfather said I should do that, to make sure, Claude, but you are mine, for good" Edward says smiling deeply.

"Why didn't you tell me, Rory said he could see how hot for me you were, as did Grandfather?" I ask. He looks at me and he's trying not to smile.. "I mean , I know why, but we could have gone to Grandfather, or Hell, if it meant having you , I'd of gone home to England with you" I say quietly. "You would?' he asks. I nod. "Edward, you're meant to be my life mate, we know that now, and I'm thinking of how long I had to have loved you that way, and how long you loved me 'that way' and hid it" I say softly. He smiles. "I don't know, Claude, longer than I can know" he says gently. "Are you happy to be mine?" he asks quietly. "Very" I say throwing my arms around his neck. We deep kiss. And then I turn serious on him. I have questions I want answered now.

"I'm also curious as to why, you, who see things to come at times, were totally blindsided by bonding me?" I ask. Edward laughs. "I didn't see it, no clue at all, Grandfather says it just happens that way at times" Edward says pulling me to him. "He's thrilled you're part of the family now" Edward says. "He wants us to come home in a while, to visit, he wants to finally meet you" Edward says smiling. I laugh. "He seemed so happy for us when I called him" I say quietly. "He was, he loves me and he knew we were perfect for each other" Edward says. I kiss my Fox. "We are you know" I say smiling. He grins.

"Grandfather said we both had to get drunk to be able to admit to our feelings for each other, we were both too afraid I'd be sent home if we gave in, and we didn't want to lose each other" Edward says softly. We hold each other tightly. And I pet his body. He's happy now, he seems to like how I touch and stroke him when he's close to me.