FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

“How do you feel?” Missy asked.

“Surprised. When’s the last time you asked someone that?” Leo replied.

“Do you ever stop?”

The two of them sat on a hill, or maybe it was a rock. It could have been both, or maybe neither. In the distance the trees wavered as the wind quietly pushed through them. Their roots had tangled around one another, with bushes nestling in-between the tendrils.

Leo shrugged. “Why would I? It’s fun, isn’t it? You do the same.”

“But you know I do it for fun, dork. I don’t know you do it for fun.”

“Well, now you know. Don’t forget it.”

“So how do you really feel, then? Right now? Right here? Feelin’ good?”

“I guess so.”

“Surprising, when’s the last time you felt good?” Missy asked. She smiled that stupid smile. That cute smile that made Leo feel as though he did the right wrong thing.

“I’m usually good. The problem is that you aren’t.” Leo picked up a dead leaf and let it get caught by the wind.

“What’s that supposed to mean? I’m not good enough for you?”

“Too weird for me. You think regular guys go around with monsters on their shoulders?”

“Have you seen a dating app recently? Yeah, I do.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Sometimes I don’t. You ever seen a penguin fly?”

“What?” Leo asked.

“Yeah, exactly. Anyways, how are your parents doing? You forget about them yet?”

“How do you forget your parents?”

“Well, they can’t really come over, can they? You can’t keep visiting them forever. I might burn the house down while you’re gone, right?” Missy pulled a silver lighter from her pocket. Where’d she get that? “Mom always said fire was bad.” She tossed the thing down the hill, where it settled down by the roots of the trees.

“You’ll manage without me.”

“Yeah? You think I can do that?” Missy’s smile snapped to a snarl. “I’m stuck with you whether I like it or not.”

Leo huffed. “Fine, I’ll just leave myself, then.” He stood up and began stumbling down the hill, nearly tripping over other discarded items. Toys, mostly. Some of them looked familiar. Sort of. If you looked at them right. If you thought about them a little too hard.

Unfortunately, Missy was already waiting down by the trees. She snapped a branch off of one of the more depressed, slouched of the plants. It seems to groan with the broken appendage. “When’d you get one of these up your ass?” she asked, waving it around and poking it upward.

“When I grew up. I know that’s an alien thought to you.” Leo snatched the thing from her hand and tossed it aside. “I get it, you’re some creature from the black lagoon, but you’ve had a whole free life to figure this out.”

“Do you want me to, though?” Her eyes fluttered.

“Do you always ask stupid questions?”

“Do you?”

Leo pushed onward, marching over the roots and slipping by the bushes, but as he did, something caught his eye. A leg. Someone passed out? He reached for the person, only to pull back a plastic fake. “Oh, very funny,” he muttered. “How’d you do this one?” The man glanced up, just in time for two concerned bystanders to stare him down. They were awfully tall.

“Whatever you saw was fake, you get that, don’t you?” the female of the two said. Her voice was smooth, like a nice lemonade in the afternoon.

“I’ve found worse things in the forest,” the male said, adjusting his shirt. Something about him rang in Leo’s ears. The female elbowed the male in the ribs. “But she’s right, whatever is there was just some kind of prank.”

Leo let go of the leg, letting it thump to the ground. A sense of fear sparked through him as he realized they might see Missy. He glanced around the forest, but she wasn’t around. Which way was back home? Had she gotten there safely? Just when he decided to ask the two for directions, they were also gone. He swallowed and picked a random direction, sidestepping the bushes.

It almost felt like days walking through the forest. The sun sat there, unmoving, right up above. No way to tell cardinal directions with that. He’d just have to call out for Missy, like some guy searching for a dog. And so he did. “Missy!” he yelled. No response. “Look, I’m sorry!” Sort of. Maybe. “Missy?” No response. He rubbed his neck and continued forward.

A car sat on the dirt road. When did he get on a road? Oh well. The thing slightly leaned to one side. As Leo approached, he could make out two figures in the vehicle. One sat in the back, while in the front a more rotund fellow rattled his fingers along the steering wheel. “Morning!” he said cheerily.

Leo nodded. “Yeah, good morning. You happen to know the way back…” Home? To town? What was the right word? “Back to the main road?”

“Oh sure. It’s right on ahead. Say, you chasing after that girl that ran down this way?”

“A girl?” Well, that was better than monster. “What’d she look like?”

“Didn’t get a good look, but I could tell she was in a hurry home. You better scoot.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Leo glanced to the dark figure in the back.

“Don’t mind them, they’re just here to scope out the area,” the driver said.

“Alright,” Leo replied. A voice in the back of his mind told him to ask for a ride. Nah, he could do this himself. “Have a good day.”

“Oh, I know I will.”

Leo started into a jog, looking every which way for his potential ticket to the government interrogation room. His precious freak of nature. That weirdo that somehow stuck to his side despite… Ah, there was the house. Leo sped up, rushing toward the front door. It closed shut just as he stepped near it. The thing bore several marks across it. Deep claws had cut into it repeatedly. Another thing to fix, right? Great! Leo placed his hand on the doorknob.

Locked.

“Missy?” Leo called out. He tugged on the door again. Locked. “Missy!” He shook the door, but it didn’t budge. “Missy, open up!” He pounded on the frame. “Missy!”

Please?

_

That morning’s shower felt off. Rather than the cool, waking water he was used to, Leo felt a little numb underneath it. The rest of his body wasn’t holding up much better, feeling stiff in a few places. Not the best day to go to work, but it wouldn’t get him down. He stepped out, dried off, and went off to get dressed.

A gentle push on his mind accompanied Leo’s routine. It wasn’t so much pain as it was an annoyance, poking at his brain. He walked into the kitchen to find Missy, asleep. The status quo. In front of her was a box of cereal and two bowls. Fortunately hers lacked any milk. Not wanting to let the meal go to waste, he sat down, straightening his tie in the process.

Missy made no movements aside from the gentle rise and fall of her back. Her face was shifted sideways, having placed her head down on the table. Something scratched at Leo’s mind as he glanced away from Missy, like he was forgetting an important thing he had to do. Every time he looked away, it would knock at his mind again, so he settled on just watching her sleep. She was wearing a more subdued shirt now, with only a plain color.

Occasionally the woman’s ears would flitter as he chewed on his food. Must have been a subdued unconscious reaction. At some point she must’ve been built to listen out for predators, but having lived in the bombastic, ever-groaning world of humans, she likely lost the need to react to everything.

Leo checked his phone once he finished his meal. Still plenty of time before he had to go, so what now? It would feel wrong to leave without telling Missy, and it would be even worse to wake her up.

As he waited, his thoughts returned to last night. He recalled having a dream, the first in a long while. Missy was there, but that was as much as he could piece together. She was probably doing something silly, and he would get annoyed. Strange to have a dream follow so mundanely to reality.

Leo used to have lots of dreams about Missy. He remembered those. They were nightmares, sometimes. Sometimes they were as regular as any other day, merely spending time with her as he remembered her. Not once did he ever expect to see her again, let alone have her become reality. To be so much worse. Then to be so much better.

Missy stirred, muttered something, then lazily brought herself up. Half of her fur was a mess. She shook her head and yawned. “Morning, weirdo,” she said.

“I’m the weirdo?” Leo raised an eyebrow. “You’re the one who poured cereal and fell asleep.”

“Well, yeah, but you were watching me sleep.”

“Sure, I mean, with how often you’ve done it I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.” Among other things.

Missy blinked a few times and rubbed an eye. “Yeah, but that’s what us monsters do. They creep people out.” She stretched. “I like to do my job well.”

“Good morning, too,” Leo said.

“I guess it’s work day since you got your whole suit on, huh?”

“It’s a Monday after all.”

“Like that means anything to me. The week works on a Lion-timezone. Day off? Saturday, Sunday. Working? Everything else.” That made some sense. Having zero reason to get up for anything ever would probably dilute the days of the week. That was cute, if horribly lazy.

“Maybe we should give you a reason to look forward to certain days, get you on back on track of normal time.”

“What, like Taco Tuesdays?”

“Not the worst idea.” Yet that sounded like something a cheesy character on a TV sitcom might do.

“You had those. Like, uh, your mom would make spaghetti on Thursdays.”

“Didn’t your mom do that too?”

“No, I just ate whatever she made.” Missy shrugged and rubbed her stomach. “Oh, right, food.” She pulled the bowl toward her and dug in. “Dude, naps make me so hungry.”

“I’ll bet they do.” He glanced at his phone again. Hardly any time had passed at all. Maybe he should head out early? Leo looked to the door. Again, that familiar feeling of forgetfulness returned. Might as well stay in the off-chance that he remembered it. “Planning on getting an actual hobby today?” he asked with a small smile.

“Sweeping and cleaning? What else is a maid going to do all day?” She shoveled a spoonful of loud, crunchy cereal into her mouth, scattering crumbs in the process. “You know. The hobbies of maids.”

“Got it.” She had become acclimated to the tedium of a back and forth between medias, but that seemed like absolute hell to Leo. “Is there anything else you might want to do? Other than watch movies?”

“What else is there?” Missy shrugged. “That’s just how it is as a domesticated monster, isn’t it?” She said it so casually, as if merely accepting her fate. Leo knew she was right, though. Especially as he didn’t want her to go wandering off into the forest on her own, for any reason, or at least not right now. There was that fancy computer they had made, and while he didn’t want her tampering with it too much, that was a portal to something akin to normality.

Knowing Missy, she wouldn’t keep her mouth shut and somehow leak that she was a monster, or something more grand. Yes, I, Missy, empress of the third star of Sagittarius am not a creature of this Earth. Something like that. Unlikely that people would believe her, but Leo didn’t want even the slightest chance of that happening. Life was stable. He needed neither stalkers nor other insane conspiracy theorists to take note of their life.

“OK, well, uh, there was something else I kinda wanted to try.” She ran an elongated finger around the rim of her bowl. “But uh, you can’t laugh or anything.”

“You think I’d laugh at a hobby you enjoy?”

“It kinda seems like a thing you’d do, yeah. That’s a very Leo thing. Much Leo-ness to it.”

“Just let me know what it is.” He straightened himself out in his seat, trying to match his figure with his interest. “I’m curious, really.”

Missy stared at him for a moment and turned her head slightly. “You’re totally gonna laugh.”

“I swear I won’t.” At this point he just wanted to know what could possibly have caught her eye.

The woman shook her head. “Nah, I’ll tell you later.” Another spoonful of cereal.

“Alright,” Leo replied. It wasn’t alright. Now he was too curious as to what Missy would enjoy but also find intensely embarrassing so as to not tell him. She enjoyed watching rubber dinosaurs punch one another, what could have been lower on the rung than that?

“You know what we could do, though?”

Leo raised an eyebrow.

“Play videogames.”

“I already told you I don’t have any,” he replied.

“But you could!” She motioned over to the computer at the far end of the living room. “You can play anything on that thing. I made sure of it. The fat YouTube nerds told me so.” She leaned forward and rolled her head. “And no, I didn’t talk to them. That’s just what the videos say.”

Leo glanced at the clock again and stood up. “Alright, just, look, if you do something, don’t break the computer.”

Missy stood up with him. “No way, I know what I’m doing now. You just wait, it’s gonna be great.” She followed him over to the door. “Really, really good.”

Leo was in a rush now and didn’t have the time to argue over what she could do. “Alright, again, don’t break anything.” He held up a hand. “But don’t forget your cleaning either.”

“I would never forget.” She patted him on the shoulder. “You have a great time with those Internet thingies.”

“Right. Goodbye.” He stepped out the front door.

“Bye bye!” Missy waved Leo off, closed the door, and locked it behind him. He looked back for a moment, still feeling as though something were missing, even moreso now. Well, it must not have been important if he forgot. A quick pocket check confirmed that he did indeed have all he needed on him at the moment. Time to get to work on those Internet thingies.

_

Leo sat in one of the cheap fast-food restaurants that was in the strip mall near work. Not his usual stomping grounds, nor his goto food at all, but he felt he needed a change of pace. Plus, it let him feel as though he could still be around normal people. Normal people all glued to their phones. He felt a little alien, sitting there and actually eating. His eyes would drift over to a television occasionally for visual stimulation. The dullest news station was on, and he guessed nobody complained because nobody knew there even was a television here.

He bit into his cheap croissant breakfast thing and decided to partake in what little people watching he could. That was what people his age did, right? Only they’d call it something like ‘scoping out chicks.’ It had been a while since he had been to a bar, and merely thinking about the cheap cigarette smell and even cheaper alcohol made him ill.

Unfortunately, the ‘chicks’ on display actually were some of his own coworkers. A few had glanced his way, given him a furrowed brow, then turned back to their phones. Must have been weird seeing the office grump partaking in food, huh? Missy would say something like that, then make a vulgar reference to sex. But what did he care what she’d say in this moment? He was out. Alive. Being human.

A few coworkers he did recognize had filtered out into their own cliques and occasionally would chat with one another. Would it be impossible now to breach that? Try and make a friend? Girlfriend? He would need something in common first. Well, movies, he watched those. Not really of his own volition, but he did. And YouTube, sometimes. Even television, someone must have still done that too, right?

Leo leaned back into cheap cushioning. Funny, all the normal stuff he did was for the sake of the strange and surreal. He pictured trying to speak to one of the people on display. Why hi, yes, I’m the man who told you to properly mark your indexed domain searches, care to go out for a drink? No, his reputation was cemented.

Shifting his attention away from the eatery itself, Leo looked out the window. Right across from him in the plaza was that little toy shop was an actual person, a lifeline that he could actually make contact with. But it stung to look that way. A feeling like it was wrong to do so.

Maybe embarrassment. Leo pulled out his phone and stared at it emptily. This wasn’t the best change of pace. It was only a reminder that he had squandered real life opportunities for the sake of a fantasy he had with the right person. It didn’t work like that, though. People don’t just bump into one another with the intent to get married to the right person. Certainly not those he knew here.

Not that he would even have a chance with Linda, or with the fantastical creature known as normalcy. Vernon wasn’t to be trifled with, because he was an actually good person. Sincere. Don’t test your woes on other people.

Leo placed his phone back in his pocket and took another bite. He looked to the restaurant menu one last time.

_

The work day had passed by without so much as a hitch, and Leo found himself right back at where he began, standing in front of his house. This time he had a relatively cool beverage in his right hand. Why’d he even buy that? It was only fair if he ate out, right?

The man stepped through his front door and closed it behind him. Rather than being tackled by Missy, she sat on the couch and waved at him. “Welcome back!” she said. Yeah, it was pretty dumb he grabbed that frozen treat. He placed the thing in the fridge and turned his attention back to the woodland creature on his couch.

What was she doing? Filing her nails down? “Good idea,” Leo said.

“Hey now, where’s my ‘glad to be home’ response, huh?”

“Hello to you too.”

“That’s better.”

“Surprised it took you so long to finally get around to this. I have a few scars to show off now.”

Missy rolled her eyes. “Good for you, chicks dig scars. Not like I’m getting anywhere, so you’ll have a few more to add to the collection.” She paused. “You’re fine though, right?”

“Yes, I’m fine.” Leo approached the couch to get a better look. Missy was using a simple nail file. His nail file, in fact. “You want something industrial instead?”

“You do know I’m a girl, right? I’ll figure it out.”

“If you say so. Just let me know when you need help.”

“You mean if I need help.”

“Sure. Oh, and there’s a treat for you in the fridge.” He pointed back at the coldbox.

Missy perked up. “What’s the special occasion?”

“I ate out, that’s what.”

“Wow, that’s crazy sci-fi stuff right there, buddy.” She returned to her nail filing a little more vigorously.

Turning away from her smarmy remark, Leo went off and quickly took a shower. He felt the slightest bit more refreshed afterward, moreso than usual. Upon returning to the living room, he quickly noticed Missy had given up her filing and instead was sipping down her strawberry slushie.

“Good stuff!” she said, holding up the cup.

“So the filing stuff was no good, huh?” Leo replied.

“Hey now, I gotta take breaks too. I can’t just be doing work all the time.”

“I’ll bet.” He slipped into the bedroom for a fresh change of clothes, and slipped right back out. That file hardly did a thing to her nails. Missy’s spindly fingers wrapped around the cup, and those sharp knives threatened to puncture it and stain his couch. “I’m guessing you need something a little tougher?”

Sip. “Yeah, guess so. That’s just one of the many problems with being special. Normal things don’t work on you.”

“Special is one word for it. Not sure it’s the one you want, though.” A quick trip to his array of tools let him snag something a little heavier, an array of smaller files. “Here, let’s try out one of these, alright?”

“Look at you, all excited to try out your toys on me!”

Leo shot her a disapproving look, then opened up the case. In tip top shape, just as he had left them. “Hand, please.”

“Never thought I’d hear you say that.” She daintily presented her free hand. “Be careful. You break it, you buy it.” It was a joke, naturally, just like everything that escaped her lips, but Leo did have a tinge of fear he might hurt her.

“When’s the last time you did this?” Leo asked.

“I’unno. Decade ago?”

“Right.” So no clues as to how close he could actually get. He brought a file up to her nail and gently worked on her, doing his best to make sure it was rounded off to a harmless nub. “If it was a decade ago, what’s the rush now?”

Missy sipped her drink. “Just felt like it.”

“Really? Didn’t feel like it after you stabbed me, did you?”

“That wasn’t a stab.”

“Right into my lungs. It’s a wonder I didn’t go to the hospital. Coughing up blood for weeks and weeks.”

“Stop it.” Missy nudged her foot into his leg.

“If only my friend told me her secret reasoning right before I died.”

“Alright, I get it, sheesh.” She sipped on her drink. “I just wanted to try out some, you know, stuff.”

“Could you be any more vague?” Leo briefly stopped to look at her.

“I could, yeah. That’s how I roll.”

“So what kind of ‘stuff?’ ” He returned to the filing, blowing off debris from her fingers. Never pictured himself doing this, but there was a first time for everything.

“Kinda, sorta,” Missy’s head bobbed side to side, “dress-y stuff, you know?”

“Like, make dresses?” His brow raised.

“Jeez, just yell it to the whole neighborhood why don’t you?” she muttered.

“Right, forgot. I might embarrass you in front of the bears.”

“I still don’t want you puking it up like that though. I feel like you’re gonna go ‘oh wow, I better tell my boss about this,’ or something.”

“Why in the world would I ever do that? I’m not an office gossip.”

“Yeah, but you like, talk about me with him, don’t you?” Sip.

“Probably not as much as you hope.”

“OK, fine, yeah. Just wanted to make something nice. Not like your clothes aren’t great.” She tugged on her shirt. Leo had to do a double take to make sure she meant the clothes he bought her. “I just wanna do something different, but it’s not like an actual dress. Just somethin’ that looks good on me.”

“So that joy of creation finally got instilled in you, huh?”

“Bro, don’t say it like that. Sounds like I’m gonna get pregnant or something, blegh.”

“You thought that, not me.” Leo shrugged. The filing was going well, conversation aside. Missy’s only sign of discomfort was the conversation, though he was sure she’d scream bloody murder if anything did hurt. “Going to give your dress a name, then?”

“Shut up!” She gave another firm nudge.

“Alright, alright.” Leo chuckled. “You need some help with that?”

“That’s what you’re doing now.”

“I mean with actually making it.”

“I can do things on my own, ya know.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t help, does it?”

Missy sipped on her drink. “No, I guess it doesn’t.”

“What kind of dress is it?”

“Gosh, just kill me now, dude. I feel like an idiot talking to you about this.”

“Look at me, I’m filing the nails down on a monster from the woods and talking about dresses, you don’t think I don’t feel like an idiot too?” Leo shot her a look with raised eyebrows. He was starting to feel like an idiot a lot recently. “So just tell me before you die of embarrassment.”

“You’re not a girl, you wouldn’t get it. Anyways, I already said it’s not really like a dress, dress.”

“Right, you’re very girly. Can’t forget that.” Leo stopped his filing. “So what do you mean not like a dress, dress?”

“It’s not like you’re thinking of. Some stupid thing you drag around and get dirt on. I mean like, my own dress clothes. Stuff made for me that looks great. Wolficus branded.”

Leo continued his filing. “So not something frilly for going to parties?”

“Don’t even say that. Those things are stupid to move around in and would hide all the best parts of me, Missy.” She placed a hand on her chest.

“Well, a dress sure would hide a lot. Wouldn’t want to secret away all the gangly bits.” He held her hand up to the light and rang a finger across her nails. Unsure how far to go, he merely rounded them off a fair amount. Enough to not get caught on every stray thread, at least. “That good?”

Missy was silent for a moment. “Wha? Oh, yeah, that’s good.”

“Other hand.”

The monstress complied, switching drinking hands and gently laying her furry fingers in his palm. “Thanks,” she said.

“You’re welcome. Needed a good reason to bust these out, so thanks, too.”

“So, uh, you do this for other girls too? Like, you know, girlfriends?”

“Nope. Usually girls don’t have spears on their hands, and can file their own nails.” Leo paused for a moment. “Actually, they used to trim their nails. Bugged the hell out of me.” He shook his head. “Anyways, no, only you. Super special occasion.”

“Only for a super special woman.” She loudly slurped.

“Don’t let it go to your head.”

“Of course I will, you know me.” Missy smiled, showing off her pearly whites. Couldn’t file those down.

“By the way, how do you plan on getting fabrics without telling me?”

“I was gonna ask eventually, duh, I’m not that dumb.”

Leo heavily gave her the benefit of the doubt and decided not to tease her over that. As he worked, he glanced at her to imagine whatever she was talking about. What would fit her best? At least color-wise, she might pick a purple, but a red would do her better, or some kind of deep blue. Like a piano dress, or rather, whatever women wore when they sat on pianos, singing. The thought was quickly corrupted as he imagined Missy singing some terrible Japanese tune, loudly.

“So you done this whole ‘dress’ thing before?”

“What, you think my roomies had like, actual cash to spend on to give me stuff?”

“No, but you could have used old fabrics.”

“Yeah, we did that a few times. Ugh, not even worth talking about. Not like I could even show it off.” Missy replied.

“They’d see it.” He’d see it too.

“Yeah, well, I don’t even think they really liked it, just thought it was funny. Not like they had an eye for anything unless it had a brand name on it.”

“I guess you have no appreciation for anything unless it has ALF on it?” Leo asked.

“What, and you don’t?” Missy chuckled. “You’re how many years old and you don’t have an appreciation for ALF?”

“No. I have to say I already have my fill of alien creature.”

“Hey, I’ll bet I’m an empress of some sort of distant planet.” She loudly slurped. “And once they crown me, you’ll sure wish you had made me your bride to be.”

Leo glanced at her. Right on the money. “No, thanks. I have enough troubles running Internet domains. You think I could run a whole planet?”

“What? No, rulers don’t do the hard stuff, they just look pretty. Like in uh, that funny island.”

“England?”

Missy set her drink down and awkwardly snapped her fingers. “Yeah, that one!” She shook her hand. “Woah, that feels so weird.” Her eyes glued to her hand.

“What does?”

“These don’t feel as heavy.” She swiped at the air. “How am I gonna maul like this?”

“You either get to make dresses, or maul people. That’s just how life is,” Leo replied.

“Ah, such is the life of a lady wolficus. You get to pick one fun thing only.”

“On the bright side you’ll be able to use a remote control more easily. One of your favorite pastimes.”

“C’mon, I’m trying to get a better ‘past time’ here. You can be a little more encouraging.”

Leo paused. “Alright. I’m looking forward to your dress.” Whatever it is. He returned to filing off the last nail. “I already said I’d help, didn’t I? Look, I’m helping right now, too.”

“I said thanks.” She rolled her eyes. “And stop calling it a dress. I’m gonna puke.” Could tone it down if she really was going to hurl.

“What about a thanks for the slushie, huh?”

“I’m letting you touch my hand, isn’t that thanks enough? Missy replied. She tilted her head and smiled. For a moment there, Leo wasn’t sure if she was joking or not.

“Not really. I’m sure you can thank me better. Like saying ‘thank you.’ “

“Fine, fine. You get to touch one of the coolest girls in the whole world and that isn’t even as good as a ‘thanks.’ “ Missy leaned forward. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Let’s just do that in the future instead, alright?” Leo replied. “We can be normal for just a little bit.” He decided not to reflect on the absurdity of the situation, and merely finished off the last nail. “There you go, done. Hopefully.” A flick of the finger across her nail confirmed it wouldn’t slice him or any potential fabrics, to ribbons.

Missy pulled her hand back, admiring Leo’s handiwork. “Hey, nice. Maybe you shoulda been one of those manicurists.”

“So you want to get started on that outfit now?” It was a little hard not to call it a dress, admittedly. He set aside the industrial tool and relaxed back into the couch.

“Easy there, buddy, I don’t even know what I wanna make yet.”

“Not even a clue? Indecisive much?”

“Fine, what do you want to see me in, then?” Missy pointed at him.

“Clothes. So we’ve got that down already.”

Missy shifted from her corner to the center of the couch. “C’mon, you never thought I might look super cool in something? I’m like, the best model ever.” She stretched out a leg and raised it.

“I don’t think makeup works on you. Photoshop might,” Leo replied.

“You don’t need to Photoshop Missy, alright? What’s one thing you think I would look good in?”

“I don’t know how to answer that.” His reflexive joke was to say ‘a collar’ but he quickly realized how incredibly strange and awkward that would be.

“You gotta.” Missy grabbed his arm. “Just one.”

Leo gave her grip a testing tug. No budging. “You’re not going to drop this, are you?”

“Not ever. So c’mon, just one thing,” she replied.

“Well, why don’t you stand up, just so I have a little reference. You know, do a twirl or something. Simple stuff.”

Missy’s grip loosened and she turned her head, clearly surprised. A moment later a smile tugged at her mouth and she gladly stood up, taking a little spin, ending with raised arms.

“Pitch black. It’s impossible to tell what colors would work on you. If at all.”

“Hey now, black fur goes with everything! You just gotta think what colors fit me. Me, me.” She pointed at herself. “What kinda colors fits me, me, me? The real me.”

Leo gave her a hard stare and raised his hands, framing her in his fingers. “It’s hard to say. Any color might take away from what you have, but you know,” he nodded, “you do have some out there proportions.” He lowered his arms. “I noticed before, but I think your legs and torso are opposite. You know, proportionally.”

Missy plopped back down right next to Leo. “I know!” She presented her arm. “Look at this. Can you believe this?” Her arm jiggled about. “This is not an arm for sleeves.” She pulled back. “Or this!” Missy’s hand ran across her torso, showing off her curves. “How am I supposed to get a shirt that covers the whole package, huh? My fur is gonna tan right here.” She traced a finger along her exposed midsection.

“Weren’t you so resistant to clothing before?” Leo asked.

“Well, yeah, but it’s easier to bunk with a dude if you’re naked.”

“Obviously. Anyways, your style is definitely suited for more out there things. I’m sure there’s a proper term. Experimental, I’m sure. I’ll bet a lotta people would like to get their hands on your proportions.” He thought back to the few times he had seen those absurd fashion shows run by millionaires. Missy wouldn’t stick out at all there. “Might need a madman to work on clothes for you, but seeing as how we don’t have one, we can stick to normal stuff or ‘cool dress-y things’ you want to try.”

Missy nodded. “Good stuff. I don’t suppose you got a fashionista on speed dial?”

“Not one that deals with a Wolficus,” Leo replied.

“Well, hey, I can always just make stuff outta your old shirts for fun.”

“No, we’re not doing that. You’ve earned the right to buy clothes, use it.”

“Really? Thought you were the thrifty type!” Missy paused and her expression lessened. “You know, aside from all the other stuff you bought me.”

“Yeah, aside from all the other stuff I bought you.” He rubbed his forehead. “Just let me know what you need and we’ll get it, OK?”

The girl’s expression snapped back to him. “Awesome. You’re not gonna be disappointed.”

“Alright. I’m going to go and–“

“Hey, wait, hold on now, you haven’t heard of the cool thing I’ve got set up for us.”

“Us?” Leo asked.

“Us.” That spindly hand landed right back on his arm and pulled on him as Missy stood up.

“Alright, OK, what have you got in mind?” Leo willed himself to stand up. Missy immediately pulled him along to the computer, and those little words he said that morning came knocking back on his mind. Ah, right. This was his fault. Missy brought him over to the computer, noting that two seats had been placed in front of it. Convenient. The woman took hers and the man was goaded into the other one.