Welcome Home

by Winter

Chapter 16

It took a while for Tanya to wake up that morning. Her eyelids slowly fluttered open, and she squinted for a little while before she was able to glance at the clock. A quarter past nine. It felt as if she hadn't slept more than a few minutes, and she wondered why that was. Then the memories of last night flooded back into her mind, and she gasped as fresh waves of pain crashed against her. Terry! The poor, poor boy had been in such pain, and everything she did, everything she said, had only served to make it worse. She sat straight up, ready to do whatever she could, anything at all, to make it right again. Then she let out another gasp, as she spotted the small figure sitting on the foot end of her bed.

"Terry..."

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice smaller than she had ever heard it before. "All the stuff I said last night, I didn't really mean it."

"It's okay. That was just..."

"But I cussed at you." His lower lip trembled slightly. "I said really bad words. I'm so sorry."

"Oh, Terry..." She resisted the urge to grab him into a crunching hug, not wanting to push things in case he... in case he still hated her. "Terry, sweetie, I know you're mad at me..."

"No! No, I'm not." He paused, staring at the floor with his shoulders sagging. "It was... I was just mad. Not at you. Just... mad."

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"I'm trying to." He looked up at her, with a lopsided grin. "But it's not easy."

"You don't have to."

"I wanna. Otherwise I'll just... I don't know. Sometimes it just... blows, you know. When it gets too big to handle."

"What does?"

"Before."

"I don't understand." She leaned closer to him, and to her great relief he made his way up the bed to sit right next to her. "Can you explain?"

"Back home..." he began, but interrupted himself and had to start over. "I mean back there. This is home now."

"For as long as you want." She took his hand, and finally she felt as if she had done just the right thing at just the right time. Terry leaned against her arm with a deep sigh. "Please tell me, baby. You can tell me anything you want."

"After mom started getting sick. About two years ago, I think. Or maybe three. Anyway, she was getting sick and, well..."

* * * * * *

Terry told his story slowly, and in a monotonous voice that sometimes quivered a little. At first he hadn't understood what was going on, why his mother had begun to change. Anya had always been strict with him, but now...

It took him a long time and several failed attempts before he could say what he wanted, needed to say. His mother, the one person he depended on, slowly became more and more mean-spirited and foul-mouthed around him. Not all the time; sometimes she would withdraw, become so introvert she barely even spoke to him at all. But when she did, it was more and more often with harsh words. Words that hurt for a little boy to hear. With increasing frequency, Terry began to hear that he was no good, that everything he did or said was bad or stupid. That without her, he would never amount to anything. That he would end up on the streets, an outcast that nobody would, or could, ever care for.

By this time Tanya was crying quietly beside him, fighting hard to keep from sobbing so that she could hear him speak. At times he was barely even whispering, and she could feel how hard it was for him to do this.

It was some time after this verbal and mental abuse had begun, that the first physical blow was struck. Nothing really bad, Terry hurried to assure Tanya as she drew a sharp breath. He had been washing the dishes, and as had become her habit Anya kept telling him that he was doing a poor job. Instead of answering, Terry had taken the next dirty plate and started scrubbing it harder. So hard that he dropped it into the sink and a small piece of the edge was chipped off. The slap that landed on the side of his face had barely even stung, but the shock of it had made him cry. And once more he had been told how useless he was, how no good man could ever spring from such a crybaby.

That night, Terry had been so distressed that it took him hours before he could go to sleep. Hours he spent thinking and thinking. He had been such a good boy; his mother had often told him so. She used to hug him and say nice things and make him feel good when he helped her. But now it was as if he couldn't do anything right. No matter how hard he tried. And when he finally did fall asleep, he slept too long and too hard.

When Anya came to wake him up the next morning, he was lying in a large, cold wet spot. Terry tried to apologise, tried telling her that he would do all the washing needed, but his mother had been furious. By the time she had worked off her anger, he sat curled up in a corner of his room, sobbing quietly with his body aching from bruises.

At about that time, Terry started noticing that they had less and less money for food. Much of his mother's salary went to the little boxes and bottles in the medicine cabinet. Every day he watched her take pill after pill, yet nothing seemed to help. He never really did find out what was wrong, he only saw the effects. Anya grew thinner, and her fur lost its lustre. And when he cleaned the bathroom he found more and more fur strands in the shower drain.

With her illness, Anya's mood swings worsened. About a year after it all had started, the abuse had become so regular that Terry didn't even reflect on it. After that night when he had wet the bed, she never hurt him that bad again, though. A slap to the cheek, or a punch in the arm, but no real beatings. The physical pain was nothing to Terry. What hurt was that no matter how hard he tried, no matter how much he worked around the apartment, he could never return to being her good little boy. It didn't even help that he was now doing most of the housework.

Instead she called him useless. Every time she thought he did something wrong she called him stupid, slow and retarded. And after it had gone on long enough, he began to believe that it was true.

Then came the day when Terry got home from school to find his mother unconscious on the floor, not responding when he tried to wake her up. Through his haze of fear and panic, he managed to make an emergency call, and get her an ambulance. At the hospital, the doctor told him that his mother was seriously ill, something he had suspected but not known for a fact until then. He broke down crying, and the doctor decided to let him see a child psychiatrist. She was a young wolf woman, and her gentle, quiet voice quickly won his trust.

And so, Terry made his mistake.

After almost an hour of talking about his mother's illness and how long she would have to stay in the hospital, Terry told her about the abuse. She listened patiently until it started getting late, then asked him if he had some place to stay until Anya could be released. They called Bobby's house, and the bunny boy soon arrived with his parents, who readily agreed to let Terry stay with them.

That was a very happy week for Terry. The next morning the doctor called and told him that his mother would be fine, that she had responded well to a new treatment and would soon come home. By then, Terry had completely forgotten about his distressed confession yesterday, and he assumed that everything would be okay again. In the meantime he enjoyed his stay with Bobby. The two of them had drifted apart when Terry started spending more and more time working around the apartment, but now their friendship bloomed again. Tanya couldn't help but smile as he told her about the games they played, the mischief they got up to, and even the naughty things they found on the internet, after bedtime.

It was an unusual feeling for Terry, to be in a lively and vibrant house. Bobby had five sisters, and there was always someone running around, screaming or crying, or some kind of ruckus somewhere. All in good spirits. And he barely had to work, either. He didn't have to cook, didn't have to do laundry, didn't have to do yard work. All that was required was that he cleaned up his own mess, if he made one, and rinsed off his own dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.

In what seemed like a blink of the eye, it was over. The two boys came home from school to find a message from the hospital on the answering machine, asking Terry to call them back. It was with a shivering hand that he picked up the phone and dialled the instructed number. Was she getting worse? Or had she even...? But it was good news, or at least Terry thought so at the time. Anya was ready to come home, but they needed him to be there to let her into the apartment. Terry hurried to pack the little bag he had brought over to Bobby's house, and the two of them hugged goodbye.

Anya was not alone when she got home to an apartment that was spotless down to every corner. Terry had even managed to clean behind the fridge, all to make his mother feel good about coming home. The one who was with her was an old badger, who said he was with the local child care authorities. Terry's psychiatrist, it turned out, had reported him as being an abused child, and his situation had to be investigated. Terry felt as if his insides had turned to ice, but when he tried to catch his mother's eye she looked away from him. As if he didn't even exist. After they had talked for a little while, the old badger asked him to leave the room, but Terry didn't move out of hearing range.

And what he heard, from his position just outside the kitchen, made that sinking feeling in his stomach grow into full-fledged despair. The badger told Anya the whole story, every word that Terry had let spill out of him in his one moment of weakness. Everything that the boy had thought would remain a secret forever. Terry fought back the urge to run back into the kitchen and tell them, screaming if need be, that it had all been a mistake. He was wrong. It had all been his fault, it wasn't true! Anything! But he couldn't move, just feel the first tears run down his cheeks. He had done it now. Had ruined all that was left of his family. Every last little bit of happiness was surely gone.

Then he heard his mother's voice, as Anya calmly explained the whole thing. What he heard made his mouth fall open, and he stopped crying out of pure shock. For some time now, she told the old badger, Terry had been suffering from severe neuroses. Ever since the divorce, he had been finding it harder and harder to tell fantasy from reality. They were already seeing a child psychiatrist, hadn't Terry told them that at the hospital? He was getting all the help available for his mental instability, but her own illness must have thrown the poor boy into relapse. Not to worry, everything would be taken care of.

She sounded so convincing that even Terry believed her, if only for a moment. Then anger set in. Anger at his mother for telling such horrible lies about him, anger at the hospital psychiatrist for betraying his trust, anger at the old badger for lapping every lie up like a thirsty dog. But most of all, he felt angry with himself. For everything; for failing to be the good son his mother had every right to expect of him, for that moment of panicky weakness when he had told his story to an outsider. For ruining everything. Was this how it had been before? As if through a haze he could see his father and sister, staring back at him with disappointment in their eyes.

Had that been his fault as well?

* * * * * *

"No, baby, never." Tanya's voice was hoarse after staying quiet for so long, while listening to her brother's tale. "It wasn't your fault, it was... It wasn't really anybody's fault."

"I know," Terry sniffled, wiping his nose on his arm fur. "At least I think I do. But back then I really thought..."

"They grew apart, it's just one of those things that happen." She held Terry close to her, while she nuzzled him gently. "Nobody could have guessed..."

They sat there in silence for a little while, arms around one another. The sun was already high in the sky, and from Tanya's half-open window they could hear birds singing. Terry's stomach gave a little growl, causing them both to giggle quietly. A lot of the tension that had built up since last night was released by the sound of laughter, but not all of it. Tanya nodded towards the kitchen, but Terry shook his head.

"Please let me finish, otherwise I'll never get it all out."

"Take as much time as you want, baby," she whispered, pulling him closer. "I'm here for you, all the way."

* * * * * *

The badger finally left, after tousling Terry's hair and giving him a sympathetic smile. By then the boy's anger had abated, to be replaced by icy cold fear. He walked slowly into the kitchen, his head hanging low. Better to face it right away, Terry thought as he swallowed the lump in his throat. He had messed up, and he knew he was going to get punished. Badly punished. But to his surprise, nothing happened.

Anya pretended that she didn't see him when he entered the kitchen, and that she didn't hear his stuttered apologies. At first Terry felt relieved. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all. But the silent treatment didn't let up. During the following week, Anya didn't talk to him once, didn't even acknowledge his existence. The relief soon turned into despair. Terry did everything he could think of to please his mother. He kept the apartment meticulously clean, he cooked every meal for them and he pressed himself to straight A's in school. Nothing helped.

Nothing he did, it seemed, could redeem what he had done. The trust he had betrayed. Terry fell into a deep depression, which he hid from his friends at school but which took over as soon as he came home. Crying didn't help; not even when he screamed out his pain to her did Anya react to his presence. At one time he went so far as to smash a plate against the floor while cleaning the dishes, feeling that even a slap to the face would be better than this nothing.

It didn't help. Nothing helped. Nothing changed until the day when Anya was rushed into the hospital again. This time she was gone for just a couple of days, during which Terry didn't even bother to let Bobby or his family know. He could look after the apartment and everything, no need to impose himself onto others. If someone asked, Terry told them that everything was okay.

Anya barely looked like herself when she returned this time. She was weak, her fur was tufty and more matte than ever, and when she talked it was in a hissing whisper. But at least she did talk to Terry again. He was overjoyed, and redoubled his efforts to keep her happy. Their relationship remained distant, though, neither friendly nor really hostile.

* * * * * *

At this time, Terry had started squirming where he sat leaned against his sister's side. He tried to keep his story going, but in the end the call of nature got too strong. Tanya, who had feared that their closeness was forever lost, couldn't bring herself to let him go. She walked with him into the bathroom with her arm draped loosely around his neck. At first Terry gave her a puzzled look, but then shrugged his shoulders and went about his business. Once they were back in the bedroom she sat down leaning against the headboard, and she gestured for him to come and sit in her lap. Smiling in a way that seemed almost shy, Terry accepted. When she placed her arms around his thin body, Tanya could feel it shiver, and she heard him fight back a sob as he pressed himself tighter to her.

* * * * * *

That whole school year passed in a kind of blur. Even when he tried his best to remember, Terry couldn't keep the days apart. It was always the same; he cooked, he cleaned and he did his homework. He soon learned to perfection how to do the laundry and the shopping. Even Winter Feast turned out to be an ordinary day. No decorations, no presents and no heaping plates of food. Terry didn't realise what he had missed until the day was almost over. By then it was too late to feel sorry for himself.

As Anya had to give up work and live on welfare, he also had to find ways to stretch their money. A lot went to rent, electricity and water, and also to Anya's medicines. What was left just barely kept the two of them fed. Still believing that everything was somehow his fault, Terry started eating smaller and smaller helpings.

For the first time in his life, Terry dreaded the summer holiday as it approached. Not so much because it meant spending more time with his mother, or even because he would now miss the luxury of school lunch. What he really wasn't looking forward to was, odd as the thought seemed in hindsight, his friends. With every day that passed, Bobby and the others made up plan after grand plan. Out of school and into freedom, weeks upon weeks of nothing but carefree fun. Terry knew that he would quickly run out of excuses.

And he did. For a while there was a kind of battle for his time, but soon his friends began to drift away. All except Bobby. The rabbit boy persisted even through a few loud shouting matches and some mean words. In the end Terry gave up, and spent as much time as he could with his best friend. Bobby seemed to know that something wasn't right, but to Terry's relief they never spoke about it. They played video games, rode their bikes, even looked at naughty pictures on Bobby's computer. It was fun, but it also took time that Terry really needed at home.

As half the summer holiday had passed, the apartment was no longer immaculate. Sometimes dishes were left for a couple of days, and dust bunnies thrived in the corners. Anya didn't seem to care, so Terry began to give it less thought as well. It was fun to hang with Bobby, and even some of their other friends that began finding their way back. Who cared if the place got a little dirty?

The answer hit Terry like a ton of bricks. One evening just as he got home from almost a whole day out, his face slightly flushed after reading a couple of sexy stories with Bobby, Anya collapsed in a fit of coughs. Terry hurried to call an ambulance, and while he waited panic rose inside him as he watched his mother cough up blood. That night, all alone, he cried for the first time in a long while. Next day Anya's doctor paid him a visit. He believed the lie that Terry's babysitter had just stepped out for a little while, and instead he talked about how important it was with a clean environment for Anya. Otherwise the coughs would return, even worse. He recommended a good cleaning service, then left.

Terry immediately called Bobby and said that he was too sick to play, and then he set about cleaning the whole apartment more thoroughly than ever before. All the while, he went from crying to cursing himself for being selfish and stupid. For setting his own fun above his mother's needs. Hiring somebody was out of the question. Somehow he managed to get them by with money, but there wasn't so much as a penny to spare.

Pretending to be sick bought him one week, and saying that he had been grounded for not doing his chores got him through the next week. But then Bobby started getting impatient, as Terry ran out of credible excuses. After they had argued over the phone one day, Terry slammed the receiver down and intended to storm off into his room, but as he turned he almost collided with his mother. Her dark eyes made him recoil; that cold and distant contempt was back again. Anya sneered at him as she nodded towards the phone.

"Can't you tell that idiot kid to stop calling? You're shouting loud enough to wake the dead."

"I'm... I'm sorry, mom..."

"Sorry doesn't help people sleep around here, does it?"

"No..."

Terry closed his eyes and lowered his head, readying himself for whatever might come. Anya didn't hit him, though, she just turned and walked away flinging one last muttered 'crazy kids' his way. It took a long while before Terry could move again. So he had done it. Screwed up again. Just as he and his mother were beginning to get along, he had upset her. Cursing himself, he finally broke out of his paralysis and went into his room. He managed to fight back tears, but he couldn't do anything about the gnawing unease inside his stomach.

Bobby must have taken the hint, because there were no more phone calls over then next month. A part of Terry's mind was relieved; now he had nothing that would tempt him to let go of his duties again. Nothing to distract him from being the good boy that he strived for with all his heart. Yet he also felt sad. Bobby had always been nice to him, had always been his best friend. If he could only explain, if they could just talk about it. There was not enough time for him to just play and hang around. Surely that wasn't so hard to understand?

Terry was more or less left alone up until the week before school started. He went by his days without really thinking or feeling anything. As long as he did his best, Anya more or less ignored him, but she really let him know when he messed things up. Not with force, but with words. By this time, though, Terry hardly even listened when she called him names and berated the things he did. All he did was to keep up that steely resolve; I have to be a good boy. I have to.

The Friday before the start of the new semester, Terry went down to the local store to buy food for the weekend. It was getting close to the end of August, and he didn't have much money left. Just enough for some pasta and frozen vegetables, and a bottle or two of milk. He was ready to check out when he spotted Bobby over by the magazines. The rabbit boy was leafing through a comic book, but looked up just in time for their eyes to meet. What followed was an awkward silence, when neither of them seemed able to say anything, or to move away from one another. After a little while that seemed like an hour, it was Terry that broke the spell.

"Look, Bobby, I'm really sorry about..."

"Don't be." They both looked down. "I know you've got it tough, with your mom being sick and all. I shouldn't have shouted at you."

"Me neither. So, uhm..."

"Friends?"

"I guess..." Terry looked up again to see his friend smile at him. He grinned back, and they shared a brief hug. "I gotta go."

"Yeah. See you Monday, in school?"

"Sure."

School helped Terry get some new energy. He made sure to get second helpings at lunch, even when they served something he didn't like, and sometimes he noticed that the lunch room staff gave him more food than the other kids. Did they know, too? He didn't dare to think too much about it. But it did a great deal for him; now he could save enough food from dinner so that Anya could have it for lunch the next day.

He settled into a routine that felt almost comfortable as the school year passed. When he got home he would spend an hour or so cleaning and doing the laundry, then he went shopping if he needed to. After dinner he washed the dishes and cleaned down the kitchen. And once Anya had gone to bed, he did his homework. In the morning he cooked them breakfast, even though he didn't eat much himself, before going back to school. The weekends went by as he kept to his chores and took care of whatever schoolwork he hadn't done during the week. He usually managed to spend an hour or two with Bobby, who seemed to treasure these 'special times', as he called them. Terry usually felt bad when he had to leave, but the rabbit boy was very understanding.

During this time, Anya kept going from anger to apathy, never really stopping anywhere in between. Terry could tell that she wasn't getting better, but somehow he managed to talk himself out of believing she was getting worse. The signs were there, though. Anya ate less and less, and even when she berated him it was with less and less heart. They made it through the winter in this manner, but then it all came to an end.

It was a Saturday, just a couple of days before the end of the school year, when Anya suddenly told Terry to help her get an ambulance. His heart racing, Terry complied with as much haste as he could manage. What he didn't know was that his mother just left their home for the last time.

Terry went through the last few days of school in a haze, barely able to wait for the bell to ring so that he could run to the hospital. Anya was hooked up to ominous-looking machines, and she was so weak she couldn't even meet his eyes. Yet he sat by her side, talking about anything and everything, waiting for her to get better. As soon as school was over, he spent as much time there as the doctors would allow, yet it was one morning when he was at home that the phone call came. The one Terry had been dreading.

How he made his way to the hospital, he couldn't remember. All of a sudden he was just standing there, beside her bed. All the machines were gone, and there was a look of peace on her face. Terry knelt beside her and cried for what seemed like hours, until the doctor gently took his hand and led him out. What followed was nothing short of chaos. It wasn't long before everybody seemed to know that Terry had nobody to look after him, and that he had coped pretty much on his own for a couple of years already. He pleaded with them to let him go home, told them that he could manage.. But that seemed out of the question.

He ended up in an orphanage, while the authorities searched for his father. Anya had covered her tracks when she moved out, it seemed, and it took two whole weeks before the next punch in the gut arrived. His father, too, was dead. Terry tried his best to cry, but it wasn't easy to mourn someone he could barely remember. Instead he set his mind to life at the orphanage, at least until he grew up and they threw him out. He was probably quite depressed, but at the time he didn't really notice. Meanwhile a funeral was held for Anya, visited only by Terry and his child care worker. Terry thought about calling Bobby, at least his family had been on speaking terms with Anya before the illness began, but he couldn't work up the energy to do so. So he said his farewell and returned to the orphanage. His new home.

A couple more weeks passed, then more shocking news. There was someone who could take him in, and who wanted to! Tanya, his sister. His beloved big sister. He had no time to process this before he had two bags packed, and was sat on a plane flight across the country. A taxi met him at the airport and brought him to her, and that was the end of the story.

After that, he had been more happy than he even thought was possible, but the old times still lay beneath the surface, waiting to hop up and bite him. As they had last night.

* * * * * *

When Terry fell silent, Tanya squeezed him tightly to her chest, as if she never wanted to let him go. She felt the boy melt into the hug, and he let out a deep, deep sigh. By the end of it his body trembled, and he started crying. To her surprise, Tanya's eyes stayed dry, and she just comforted him the best she could. Almost half an hour passed before Terry had cried himself out, and turned to face her with a sad smile on his lips.

"I feel better now," he said in a quivering voice. "I really do. It doesn't hurt so much anymore."

"It's often better to talk than to keep it bottled up like you have, baby." She kissed his nose, making him giggle. "Like letting off steam."

"Yeah. I really could eat some breakfast now, though." He patted his stomach, which growled again. "Or maybe lunch."

"I'll make us some sandwiches," Tanya said, getting up from the bed. "And maybe some soup."

"Like that?" Terry giggled. "Naked?"

"Oops! Forgot about that." She hurried to find some clothes, but did nothing to hide her nudity from her brother while she got dressed. His eyes were all over her, and it felt good to know that maybe things wouldn't change between them after all. "You'd better put something on, too, in case Josh comes over. I'm kind of surprised he hasn't."

"I think he was going shopping with aunt Jean again." He yawned. "But I don't think I can play today. I'm really tired."

"Did you sleep at all tonight?"

"No. I got up after a while, then I wandered around the house all night, 'til I sat down on your bed. I think I sat there for a couple of hours before you woke up."

"Go give Josh a call, sweetie. Then we'll eat something before you fall asleep."

"Okay. I got his cell phone number, in case he's not back yet."

"Good. Maybe we should get you one of those, too." Terry just giggled and shook his head in apparent disbelief. "I mean it. One of those GPS things so I can always know where you are."

"Tanya, you're too much." He hugged her, then headed for the phone. "Do we got any more tomato soup?"

"Sure."

* * * * * *

After they had finished eating, the two of them returned to Tanya's bedroom. Terry hadn't bothered to get dressed, and now he slipped out of his briefs as well. Tanya watched his naked butt as it vanished in beneath the blankets, then she joined him. They talked for a little while, until the boy drowsed off. Before she joined him, Tanya lay there thinking. Both about the story she had just heard, and about her own life.

Both she and her father had been feeling low for a long while after the divorce, but work and school had helped, and they had always had each other. A kind of support that Terry had lacked the whole time. She made a mental note to contact Bobby and his family, to try and arrange a visit before school started up again. The rabbit boy had done so much for Terry, and she felt a strong need to thank him properly for it. Seeing Terry just might be a suitable reward.

She also thought about what kind of help she could get Terry. He had said that he felt better, but she had a feeling that he might need better help than her. If not a child psychiatrist, then at least some kind of counsellor. Just someone neutral he could talk to. Someone who could help him regain his self confidence. Whatever it took, she decided while she felt her mind begin to wander off into sleep, she would make Terry a completely happy boy again.

* * * * * *

When she woke up, Tanya couldn't at first understand why her bed was shaking. Then she opened her eyes, and couldn't hold back laughter. Terry was bouncing up and down right next to her, with a wide grin on his lips. He joined her laughing, then let himself fall on top of her. For a little while, they rolled around wrestling and giggling and tickling each other, then Tanya took a firm grip around her brother's waist and sat up. He squirmed in her lap, but calmed down when she kissed his cheek. With a purr, he twisted around so that their lips could meet. It was as if all the bad things had gone away, but even as she let his probing tongue enter her mouth, Tanya knew that they could just as easily return. For the moment, though, she was perfectly happy just holding and kissing her beloved baby brother.

It wasn't long before she felt his hands move up her side, homing in on her breasts. She moaned into Terry's mouth, and returned the favour as she started playing with his tiny nipples. Soon she was lying down again, with Terry on top of her. It was tempting to just give in, to ask him to make love to her, but she decided not to. They had been through too much in the last day. Too many emotions and too much strain. Better to let things fall back into place slowly. Instead she pushed him off of her, and grabbed his straining erection. He followed suit, reaching for her sex, and they slowly masturbated each other to orgasm. Afterwards, Terry kissed her cheek, purring happily.

"I love you, Tanya."

"Love you too, sweetie. That felt really nice."

"Yeah." Just then, his stomach growled again, and Tanya laughed. "Guess it's hungry again."

"Better feed it, then." She left the bed and headed for the kitchen. "What do you like on a pizza?"

"Dunno. Ham and mushrooms, I guess. I haven't had much pizza."

"Ham and mushrooms sounds nice."

"Can we really get them delivered? All the way out here?"

"Sure. It might cost a bit extra, but that's no big deal. It's better than driving into town."

"I don't think I'll ever get used to this. Not having to think about money."

"Well, we can't spend like there's no tomorrow, but we don't really have to worry, either."

Tanya placed the order, then sent her brother upstairs to get dressed. Terry seemed to be in an impish mood, though, because he waited until the last second before obeying. It felt nice, she thought, to have him walk around so carefree and naked. Plus, it gave her plenty of opportunities to watch his cute little butt. He was just bouncing down the stairs when the gate buzzer went off, making him yelp. Tanya let him press the gate open, while she went to the door and paid for their food.

After finishing off two large pizzas, with Terry eating all of his and a couple of slices of Tanya's as well, the two of them sat down on the living room couch. With the TV on but the volume off, they talked for a long while about the story Terry had told her that morning. Every word, it seemed, made Terry feel better, as if he laid all the worries aside just by talking about them. His intellectual mind could understand it when Tanya told him about things never being his fault, but he couldn't fully accept it.

"It's like I know all the things you say," he tried hesitantly. "But I can still feel it. That part of it doesn't wanna go away."

"We'll keep on talking, whenever you want, Terry. But I still think you should talk to someone else. Not a psychiatrist, but maybe a counsellor. I did, after dad died. It really helps, to let your feelings out to someone you don't know."

"I guess so..."

"It doesn't mean you're crazy," she said, rubbing his hand as she held it. "It just means that maybe you don't have to cope with everything on your own."

"That makes sense. I kinda... I kinda wish I could have done that before. Maybe things would have been different. If someone could've helped us, I mean."

"It would have made things easier, maybe, but it wouldn't have stopped mom from getting ill. That had nothing to do with you."

"I know." He yawned, then looked through the window and saw that it was dark outside. "This day's kind of wasted, huh?"

"Uh-uh." She shook her head. "Not wasted. We got a lot of things out of you, little one. I really hope you feel better now."

"I do. I feel like..." He hesitated, then took a deep breath. "I feel like I'm leaving him behind."

"Who?"

"The little kid me. The one from back where I used to live. I'm not scared like he was."

"That's good. Cause you've got nothing to be scared of." He yawned again, and Tanya got to her feet, picking him up. "I'm gonna look after you. And right now, I'm gonna tuck you in, I think."

"I guess so," he mumbled around yet another yawn. "Just gonna brush my teeth."

"Will you sleep down here? With me?"

"If you want..."

"Of course I do, sweetie."

Terry hopped out of her arms and spun around with a happy yip. Then he took off upstairs, and Tanya was all smiles as she walked into their bedroom. She was feeling tired as well, and decided to join him in calling it an early night. But she had just begun undressing when Terry returned, blushing slightly as he held up his toothbrush and rinse mug.

"I might just as well move these down here, right?"

"Right."

It didn't take them long to get ready for bed, and Tanya couldn't help smiling as Terry snuggled up to her with Mr Cuddles in his arms. She hugged him and kissed him on the lips, and he returned the favour. Within minutes, they were both asleep.