Marine Biology
Passion is the product of fierce emotions. Those fierce emotions don't have to always be pleasant, though. Drive can come from places of anger or visceral disgust just as much as it can from bliss and lust. Passion is a driver, an actor, but not always a well-directed one. When it's aimless, it's basically flailing at flying insects around you...finding that direction is what makes it effective, but it's not always easy to find.
Sometimes, passion comes from pain. And sometimes, that direction comes from someone who shares your pain. One point doesn't do much...but two points can make a line.
OBLIGATORY CONTENT WARNING: This story contains sexual acts between two males and tough topics.
"Right, then, I think that's about all for today." The authoritative announcement from the silvertip shark started a flurry of activity from the students, despite the fact that he still had more to say. Garth was used to this by now - college students always liked to rush out of class, it wasn't a reflection on him. It wasn't that long ago that he was on the other side of the class, though he'd never been a rusher. His voice rose on automatic, to counter the added noise. "Next week, I want you to return the aquarium quiz. Remember, you have to pass this in order to be authorized for your final project, it's in your best interest to pass it first try. It's open book so there are no excuses. And if you can find time during your busy, busy weekend, consider reading through Chapter 12, we'll be going over that in lecture."
There wasn't any obvious response, but Garth was used to that, too. The students that cared about the class would either already know or would have heard, the students that didn't care wouldn't be moved for anything. Fortunately it was mostly a class people cared about, being one of the early steps on the path to a marine biology degree, but there were always a few students who didn't know what they wanted to do and thought the class looked either like an easy A or a possible idea and were disappointed and disengaged. Such was the way things were.
Truth be told, Garth was looking forward to the weekend himself. Of course he had a lot less time for relaxation - class preparation, research to conduct, news to catch up on in his chosen field, the life of a professor was a consistently busy one. At least, a young professor like himself, only four years removed from his PhD, and still trying to establish himself. He knew some of the more experienced ones in the department and they were a lot more settled in, didn't have to be as busy...an enviable position, one he could only get to by time and effort.
As he was getting himself ready to leave as well, a student approached him, an arctic fox he recognized as one of the more dutiful students in the class. "Question, Reno?"
"Uh...more of a concern, Mr. Albimar."
"Garth is fine." In other settings he wouldn't have an issue with a respectful term of address like that, but hearing college students call him mister or professor made him feel old. "What's your damage?"
"I'm not sure about the ethics of our final project. There's...you know, something that's very disturbing about putting the lives of aquatic creatures on the line for the grades of students who might not care about them. I don't think it's right."
It wasn't the most surprising thing to hear from Reno - probably one of the top students in the class, and also something of an activist, though, Garth could tell it was a bit of the typical directionless activism of a college student who just wanted to be part of something big. He'd be a fierce one once he found his cause, but at the moment... "While I appreciate your concerns, this has been the final exam for this class for years, well before I took over, and I think it's a very good one. Practical learning can teach you things that just reading and studying can't. And all the life forms we'll be using are bred for this purpose in the department, so we're not harming any wild populations or anything like that."
Reno frowned. "I still don't like it. You're creating life just to destroy life! And what happens when we're done with the final exam?"
"Everything that is alive at the end of the final exam will be slated for testing and experimentation purposes. We don't just flush them down the toilet, if that's what you've heard."
"That's not really funny."
"I don't think so either, that's why I'm telling you we don't do that."
"But what about the students that don't give a damn? You're condemning living creatures to death if they get a bad student!"
"And those students will fail the class, and be barred from retaking this class or taking any other classes in the marine biology department." Garth leaned over, looking seriously at Reno. "Someone who doesn't care about marine life can't be a marine biologist. I think it's an important test to see how much they care and how diligent they can be."
"There are ways do to that without sacrificing innocent animals. Computer simulations of an aquatic environment can replicate the aquariums without any risk to life, you can make them do anything that can be done with the real thing-"
"And there's no consequence to them at all," countered the shark. "Nothing is at stake, failure means nothing. Again, I understand your concern, but even if we had simulations that were suitable for those purposes, which we do NOT, it would not be as critical a test as the real thing. When you actually hold the difference between life and death in your hands, it takes on far more seriousness...I've seen some careless students become a lot better once they realized that there were consequences to their decisions that extended beyond them. And some students who seemed really eager and diligent but turned out to be absolutely useless at maintaining marine life, and not willing to accept that it was their choices that put them there. And while I don't enjoy allowing some suffering and sacrifice of living creatures, they're part of a breeding stock that's already slated for experimentation...we use them to benefit an entire world's worth of marine life. This is a similar noble goal, to keep dangerous people out of the field."
"Hmph..." It was clear Reno wasn't happy to hear that, but didn't have a good counterargument. "Would you say that if it was intelligent beings being tested and studied on?"
"Intelligent beings make for shitty test subjects." Both faces turned towards the back of the room, where a water monitor had just entered, sporting a wide smile. "You should listen to him, foxy, he knows what he's talking about."
Immediately Garth broke out into a wide smile. "Davin! How the hell are you?"
"Hanging in there. And it sounds like you're still doing your job as gatekeeper of the oceans!"
"Best that I can. Reno, this is Davin Salvator...Davin was one of the best students to ever pass through the class, back when I was a grad student teaching the course as a TA."
"You'd never know he was a TA, he had his stuff together better than the prof did," Davin added with a chuckle.
Garth nodded. "Milt was...tired. Last thing he did before retiring was lobby fiercely for them to take me on as a junior professor. I'm only here because of him."
"Made a good choice. Still catching heat about the aquariums?"
"You mean other people have complained as well?" Reno asked, suddenly sounding hopeful.
"Tss, yeah. There's usually like one person a year who thinks they've uncovered some nefarious animal cruelty conspiracy underneath the final exam. Probably half of them ended up failing the final because they couldn't take care of their tanks properly. Guessing they were just kind of projecting their own insecurities most of the time."
Reno's eyes widened. "Wha...but...then they're not...how can they say they care and then just not take care of their tanks?!"
Davin shrugged. "Not sure. Maybe they didn't actually care and just wanted to get out of the project. But let me tell you, that final taught me more than the entire year of lectures. Not Garth's fault, either, I just knew a lot of that coming in, but taking care of actual living creatures? That was more rewarding AND more informative to me. And I'd done a bunch of aquarium sims in the past...none of them measured up."
The fox seemed to deflate a bit, nodding in concession. "A-all right...well...I guess if I can't stop the project...I'll just have to do a really good job on it so that nothing dies in there."
"Good approach," Garth agreed. "I'll see you next week. And you..." He looked over to Davin. "How about we take some time to catch up?"
"Sounds good to me. Are the bars in this town as good as I remember?"
Garth chuckled. "Depends on whether you even remember them."
The bar of choice turned out to be a fairly quiet place off the main drag, one of Garth's familiar haunts. Nicer than the usual college bar, better for a casual talk between friends rather than a party-style thing. The shark felt almost at home there, and it was clear Davin seemed to be a very good fit for the atmosphere as well.
"I gotta say...I know it's not all that fair, but it's true," Garth remarked after a slug of his beer. "You're still the student I judge all other students by. I'm always looking for the next Davin, that one that just has that spark, that thirst for the knowledge I can give."
"You're such a flatterer," Davin replied with an amused grin. "You find any yet?"
"One. My current grad student. I've got a couple undergrad researchers as well but they're not quite as engaged...they'll probably go far in life but they don't strike me as the kind to want to sink into marine biology. Next one I find, I'm gonna try and keep them for a very long time."
"Heh, sharks don't let go of their prey easily, do they?"
"Hey, they aren't prey!"
"Anything's prey if you have the right mindset. And you seem like you're on the hunt, so..."
"Ah, fine, maybe it's a bit like that, but I don't bite them. I may threaten to on occasion but I never do."
"Probably a good thing, I hear you can get disciplined for that. But it sounds like it's going well."
"Well enough, for sure! I'm still disappointed that I wasn't able to become a professor before you graduated, and you were able to go off for parts unknown. What are you up to nowadays?"
Davin shrugged. "Nothing too much. Working at an aquarium a ways south, giving tours, managing the sea life, taking care of business. Not bombastic pay but it does the trick, and there's nothing like getting the little ones in awe."
"That does sound nice! Can't say I'm not a bit surprised, I thought someone would swoop in and snatch you up for grad school right off...I know what kind of student you are. If you're looking, I'm sure I could find a place for you, I know it's been a few years but knowing how you were, you'd probably be right back in the thick of it in no time."
The smile faded from Davin's face, and he put his drink down. "Actually...to be honest...I'm...kind of looking for anything but that."
That hit Garth like a brick. "What? But...why? You were..."
"I know. I was. Passionate, driven...I wanted it, badly. Before I started grad school, I wanted to get some up close and personal experience. Go on some dives, see the beauty of the oceans firsthand. I was all set to go on a big tour, saved up for it and did all the studies, was chomping at the bit. Since it's a workout, I had to do some physical tests. Everything seemed great, until the pressure test. I went into the chamber, confident as could be...they took me out less than two minutes later, I felt like I could barely breathe. They did some tests, and then told me in no uncertain terms that I would never be allowed to dive."
"No."
Davin nodded sadly. "My lungs can't handle high pressures. They don't have a diagnosis or anything, and they aren't really sure what causes some people to have it, but I do. Apparently they barely handle regular pressure well, they said I'm not even supposed to hold my breath. Always did wonder why I got short of breath so easily sometimes. They said if I spent time under, I was at severe risk of fluid buildup, embolism, aneurysm, rupture...enough scary things that they refused to let me risk it. I was crushed. Basically...the dream's dead. The thing I wanted most out of this course in life, I can never have. And so...yeah...I'm just, trying to think of something else I could do that could get me feeling the same way, but...I dunno."
Garth had set down his drink and put his hands on his head. The weight of hearing that, the sorrow in the monitor's voice, and his own struggle on top of that was so crushing...before Davin knew it, a choked sob had escaped the shark, a sound so laden with despair that it startled him. "Whoa, hey! It's...I'm sorry, I didn't think that you'd...I'm gonna be fine, it's hard but..."
"S-sorry..." Garth managed to stutter out, as tight and tense as Davin had ever heard him. "It's just...not fair..."
"Well...no, not really..." Davin wasn't entirely sure how to respond, but he was starting to get the feeling that there was a lot more to this than he thought. "Is...is something wrong, Garth?"
It took a bit for Garth to compose himself, though he remained bleary-eyed. "It's...yes...a lot of things. I...I'm beached."
"What? How? You used to talk about going diving a lot, I thought everything was going well!"
"It was...until...early last year. I...I was on a dive in the tropics, it was...I was just having the time of my life, it was a reef I'd never been to before, I was in awe at all the wildlife that I'd only seen pictures of...and then, I started feeling off. Pain in my gills, shortness of breath, lethargy...I collapsed on the way to a dive, and they took me to a hospital...I got a parasitic infection in my gills. They had to do emergency surgery, it...it ruined my gills permanently...I...they...said I couldn't go underwater anymore. I'd have no more ability to get air from water than any land animal..."
"Oh, my god..." Now it was all too clear to Davin, horribly clear. Not being able to dive was a real blow to him, but for sharks, diving was an indelible part of life...being confined to land had to be so much worse for him. "I'm so sorry, Garth...I can't even imagine what that must be like."
"It's awful, awful...a part of myself is just, it's gone...a part of my life, something I grew up with...it's just...it's not fair."
The tears were coming freely for Garth now, and Davin found himself at a loss for words. What could he say, really? Nothing that would make anything better. With a dismal sigh, he downed the rest of his beer and set the glass aside. Somehow, further alcohol didn't seem like a good idea at the moment.
The mood was decidedly more somber after they left the bar, far from the jovial façade that had been in place when they entered. Neither of them talked as they walked along the overlook to the lake, not far from where the bar was. The cool breeze normally was a nice touch to the evening, the soft tones of sunlight fading into the sky as sunset had well passed. It should have been a lot happier...but, the weight of what had happened to each of them still pressed down on them.
They paused and looked out over the water into the fading light. Too quiet for each other's comfort...finally, Garth broke the silence. "It's really peaceful...coming out here's helped me sometimes, in some of my darker moments...it still hurts a bit to look at the water and know I can't go in there, but I've always found peace in the water, and that's still true now."
Davin nodded solemnly. "I'm glad for that...I didn't really have much of a comfort when I first learned the bad news. There were nights where I just...couldn't deal with it, and I didn't know what to turn to. I always wondered what could make a normal person turn to drugs, but now I understand it..."
Garth's gaze flickered towards Davin, stricken. "Y-you...you didn't..."
"No. But there were times when it felt like, hell, what do I have to lose? But I never could actually act on that...heh, always was one of those straight-laced guys, couldn't imagine the idea of doing something like that. Guess that kept me from falling into that sinkhole. But the pain's still there...I probably shouldn't be working at the aquarium, it's kind of a constant reminder, but...I don't know what else to do, so...yeah."
"I see..."
Now it was Davin's turn to look at Garth, as the shark bowed his head. "Did you ever consider giving up on the field? Just...leaving it behind for something else?"
Garth was quiet for a minute. "...In the couple days after the surgery...I was considering giving up on EVERYTHING, not just the field. It was like a piece of my soul had been cut out of me...I was in such despair that I just started to feel like maybe the rest should go, too. My grad student pulled me out of that before anything could happen, but that was how bad it was...never had a suicidal thought before...guess I'm glad it frightened me, too."
"Fuck."
"Yeah. But...I've spent too long in this to give it up. I don't know what else I'd do, there's not really anything else I ever wanted to do. It'd basically have been twelve, thirteen years of my life utterly gone to waste...I know you can start over at 30, but I really didn't want to, it felt like it would have been too much. And honestly, it wouldn't have fixed everything, because, well, swimming and underwater was a good chunk of the rest of my life, too...all it would have really done was take me out of my passion and leave an even bigger void. At least I don't need to be underwater to do most of my work, but...I can't say it's not painful, seeing others go in and knowing that can't be me ever again."
"It hurts...I don't know if it hurts me more that I can't or that you can't. They say misery loves company but I never wanted anyone to have to go through what I did..."
"I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Though, if it had to happen, at least it happened when you have more time to figure things out, before you were too deep into it to really feel like you'd already gotten locked in...maybe you can get out, leave this part behind as bad memories...forget about it all when you find something else that suits you..."
"Well...I didn't want to forget about everything..."
Garth jumped a little as he felt Davin move in close to him, wrapping an arm around him. He turned his head, confused, and found himself nose-to-nose with the reptile...and then a moment later, a long, flexible tongue flicking out against his snout, then pushing downwards into his toothy mouth. He was frozen for a moment as the unexpected display of intimacy caught him completely dumb - he'd never seen it coming, Davin hadn't even hinted at it! Yet, he wasn't exactly fighting to get away...in fact, it felt rather...good...
And then it ended, quicker than he expected, and Davin pulled back, blushing a bit. "Ah...s-sorry...I got...a bit caught up in the moment..."
"N-no, it's...it's fine...I just...what?"
"That's...really why I wanted to come here. I've been, well, uh, thinking about you for a long time...even as long as back when I was in the program...but, uh, I couldn't...it didn't feel right trying to do something with anyone at that time...but I never really stopped thinking about you. I was gonna try to break it a little more slowly, but...I guess...emotions have been heavy and they got the, uh, better of me..."
Garth was flushed hard. He'd never known...Davin had kept it well hidden, indeed. And he wasn't really sure how to react at first. But...it had been a long time since he'd had a partner, his last relationship had ended rather poorly and he'd never really had the time for anything after that...and some days, he had just been so lonely, aching for anyone to talk to, not feeling like he had enough rapport with anyone to really get personal...as sudden as it was...maybe he needed this.
He gently pulled Davin closer, and pressed his face against the water monitor's. Davin was the one surprised now, at least for a moment...but the hint was quickly gotten, and soon his tongue was snaking back into Garth's mouth, this time being joined in the action by the shark's. They held each other closer than ever, their affection on display to the last of the sunlight as the sky finally faded all the way into the darkness.
When Garth had been complete, before the event that had shattered him, a house by the lake had seemed only natural. These days he often kept all his curtains drawn, cursing the view that once had been so alluring, showcasing a world that was now denied to him evermore. Despite the agony it brought, though, he couldn't bring himself to leave it...it almost felt like it would be giving up on too much. Every day was a struggle, fighting to keep from letting his anguish kill his motivation to teach and to keep a façade of contentment up to the students that counted on him...anything that threatened to deaden him further would have broken that fragile grasp he had on even the illusion of being okay.
Tonight, for once, the proximity of the water wasn't even close to on his mind. It was the proximity of Davin that meant everything.
The lizard was on top of him, moaning and panting as he kissed the shark deeply, their arms wrapped around each other as they ground against each other on the bed. Their clothes ditched haphazardly onto the floor, they had wasted no time getting into each other's presence, ignoring everything else in the pursuit of hedonic satisfaction, almost like a determined 'fuck you' at their mutual misfortune. As they rubbed against each other, each one's pair of spires stroked against each other, sliding and grinding as they swelled to full size, leaking slightly onto Garth's body. He didn't care - it had been too long since he had been wet in any capacity anyway, his drive had been all but dead until Davin had raised it tonight, and he was going to enjoy it, damn everything else.
The slight sense of almost desperate determination was matched in Davin. His long-sought solace, now found in the arms of the shark he had desired so much but long thought unattainable...the only bright spot he'd had for so many nights, and the only thing that had kept him from as dormant a drive as Garth had had. He clung to the shark, unwilling to remove himself from as total a presence as he could manage, unaffected by the somewhat rough scratching of the sharkskin at some motions. His tongue clung almost as fiercely to the shark's, braving the sharp teeth of his kind with the kind of insistent defiance he had been seeking in the rest of his life. The mildly fishy taste was everything he had hoped for, a delectable delight for his taste buds that encouraged his current actions tenfold.
The more they rubbed against each other, the more they shed that stress and exhausting despair that they had carried with them, the lighter their hearts and bodies felt, the further away the rest of the world became. Those everpresent burdens escaping them, their vigor increased, breaths mingling as they shared their essences with each other, moans getting louder and more frequent as their spirits soared above the miasma. Their lusts unfettered for the first time in ages, they were soon throbbing against each other, and the desire for more could no longer be reined in.
Davin finally broke the kiss, rising up a bit over Garth and looking down into those amber eyes which seemed almost lost in the mist. "May I...?"
Exhaling heavily, the shark nodded, as if in a trance. "Please..."
With a nod, the water monitor shifted down a bit, lining up one of his twins with the shark's offered tailhole. Garth spread for him, opening up more and giving further assent to him, a soft moan escaping him as he felt warm flesh against his pucker for the first time in years. It had been so long he didn't really remember a lot of what he needed to do to make it easier, but there was no way he was going to stop things now to try to recall.
Thankfully, Davin took it slowly, entering with a soft push, making them both grunt out as he penetrated slowly and steadily worked further inside. It was a touch uncomfortable for Garth, but the sheer need to be filled, to feel that intimacy, overpowered that discomfort with such contentment and relief and bliss that it might as well have not been there at all. He did his best not to tense down as Davin went slowly deeper, until he felt the lizard reach his limit, the other half of his endowment drooling onto him. His arms clung to Davin, holding him tight, and squeezed down on him a bit to tell him to go ahead.
It couldn't have been much better for Davin, feeling that tight warmth around one of his cocks for the first time in years. It had been since he'd left college, a lack of opportunities up to the point where he had gone into his funk, and that having effectively killed his motivation since. Apart from his desire for Garth, at least...he had always hoped he'd have this chance, and now it was like a dream that he desperately hoped he wouldn't wake up from, even if it hadn't gone at all how he'd hoped to get there. He moved slowly, savoring the sensations and the closeness to the one he'd longed for, easing in and letting his pre help slicken up the passage and make it easier for the slightly tense shark.
Each thrust brought slightly louder moans with it, from both voices. Davin hunted down Garth's prostate, searching for the spot that would bring the biggest response, and Garth started to squeeze and clench to improve the tension for Davin and bring his euphoria to the next level. It almost seemed that they were even closer physically than their previous grinding session, though they were too engrossed in the pleasure and the intensity of their new actions to renew their kissing. Their breathing was almost in sync, one out and the other in, one chest rising into the other as it fell, keeping them comfortably tight against each other.
It wasn't long before their deprived bodies clamored for more, and the rhythm became more rapid, cries getting sharper, moans turning to grunts, the wet slurp of Davin's cock meeting Garth's ass getting more audible between them. Ropes of precum splattered over them from Davin's stray shaft and both of Garth's twins, which were receiving much of the benefit of that closeness as the water monitor's body stroked them with every motion. The need, the desire had claimed them fully, a capture they embraced as they sought to bring each other to the greatest high they'd each had in far too long.
One last precise strike on Garth's pleasure button was all he could take. He cried out breathlessly as he came, bolts of sticky white spurting freely between them, smearing between their bodies as they still shifted together back and forth. Davin was only shortly behind, the unconscious tensing of the shark's anus around him bringing him to the peak, his head thrown back and a long hiss escaping him as he coated Garth both inside and out, warm seed shooting out to join the shark's offering as well as belting into that welcoming rear end. Their pent-up gonads kept them on the release for what felt like an eternity, refusing to relent as the mess kept growing between them, both relishing it as long as they could manage.
Of course, it couldn't last forever, and all too soon the high began to recede, pulling them back down closer to earth. Though, they didn't get dragged all the way back into that morass of desolation, not while they still shared each other's presence and comfort...they kissed again, snouts locking together, heedless of the goopy seed between their bodies as they got lost into each other, and chose to remain that way until slumber finally claimed them, sending them to the most restful sleep they'd each had in as long as they could remember.
When Garth woke up in the morning, he was the only occupant in his bed, and for a brief moment he thought that the previous night was nothing but a wonderful dream. Which left him with an ache in the pit of his gut...until he heard the toilet flush, and he knew that he wasn't alone. That ache left rapidly, replaced by a warmth that he hadn't felt in a long time. How long had he been needing this? Longer than he had been willing to admit to himself, surely.
Davin entered the room again, still wearing nothing, and sat himself on the bed, leaning over and licking Garth on the nose. "Hope I didn't take up too much space in your bed last night."
"Not at all...I think I've been wanting someone to occupy it."
"I'm glad I could be that someone." The water monitor shifted back upright, blushing a bit. "I, uh...don't usually go that quickly...but I think I needed some of that relief more than I thought, too. Sometimes...the slow and steady, restrained thing, it can be draining. I still like it, because I like to think ahead, plan ahead, but...I guess there are times I need to cut loose, too."
Garth nodded. "That's perfectly fine...sometimes it's better that way. And I don't have any regrets."
"Me, either."
Both of them went quiet for a moment, not sure what to say. Then Davin spoke up again. "Would you be against...making this a regular thing?"
Garth swallowed. "You think it will work? I know we know each other well, but..."
"Yeah, it's possible there's something that will get in the way. But...I'd really like to try."
Garth thought for a moment, and then decided he wanted to try, too. He'd been through enough pain, he deserved to have some pleasure...and he wanted to make sure Davin got the same thing, he'd been through enough as well. "Let's give it a go. I guess even if it doesn't work out, better that we tried than spent the rest of our lives wondering."
"Yeah, definitely." The water monitor stretched a bit, then turned and motioned for Garth to sit up. The shark complied, bewildered, and watched as Davin grabbed his hand and looked him in the eye. "More than just that, though...I want to make a pact."
"A pact?"
"Yeah. You and I...we're going to get back in the water."
"Huh?"
"We've both been robbed of something...it doesn't feel fair. There must be something we can do. I can't tell you how many times I've laid in bed in the morning in despair, feeling hopeless and useless...not having the strength to say I was going to change things. But to see that you got robbed too...it's not just my own feelings now, it's more than that. So we're gonna go under again. It'll be different, it won't be how we imagined or experienced it...but it'll happen."
Garth stared blankly at the suddenly very serious and determined reptile. "I...but...how?"
"I don't know. But that's what I'm going to try to find out. I mean, they're not gonna let me be your grad student when you're dating me, that would be all sorts of inappropriate. But this...this is something I can do, for both of us, and for anyone else who gets sucked into the same issues. I'll study the engineering side, I'll try to put some stuff to the test...and we're going to dive. We're going to return to the world we were taken from. Maybe it'll take years...but we'll do it."
It was pie in the sky, a dream that Garth couldn't imagine would have a guaranteed realization. Just a hope to chase...but...maybe...maybe it was better to try to chase hope than wallow in despair. And it gave Davin some purpose...no, him as well, he would have to be part of it if he was in this pact with him, not just moral support...and maybe his own experience could lend something to it. He swallowed and nodded, holding back tears...maybe, just maybe, the dream wasn't dead after all...just something they would have to fight harder for than anything else. And if they achieved victory, it would all be worth it.