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Serenity couldn't believe how well yesterday went. Hir whole family liked Travis and were asking when shi thought he would return for a visit. Shi hoped it was soon, as everyone was clamoring to have him back. Shi knew that even little Lapis would be begging for him to come back tomorrow. It was all coming together nicely in hir opinion. Shi was still a little disappointed that he hadn't accepted the offer to spend the night with them, but shi respected him too much to force him. Shi ascribed to the principle that love is never forced. It should be given freely without any strings or conditions. True love, the same type shi saw hir parents have, the same shi felt for Sequoia, would develop naturally. That was the way things went, thank you very much.

Shi walked into hir shared home and was immediately squeezed by hir younger sister. Amethyst let out a laugh as shi bounced Serenity slightly.

“I can't believe you found such a cute Human! He's so awkward and shy, but so intelligent and considerate. It's adorable!"

“He's also really good lookin'. You absolutely sure I can't have him?" Serenity's head snapped up and a playful glare was directed at Kairen.

“I saw him first." Hir glare turned into a grin as shi continued with, “But I'll let you have a turn once I'm done. Only if he agrees, though." Kairen gave a mock sigh of defeat. As per usual, hir banter was as sharp as hir wit.

“Ah, curses. Oh, well. I'll just entice him enough to want a romp. Think he'll enjoy my blowjob special?" Sequoia's response was a light thwack to the back of Kairen's head.

“Dirty 'Kat. Let Serenity have a chance with him before you break him." Kairen merely chuckled with Sequoia's admonishment. Serenity was grateful that the teasing was all in good fun. However, Amethyst really liked to push buttons, especially when Kairen was getting frisky.

“Or you can learn Kairen's technique and break him yourself?" Serenity's ears reddened in a Chakat version of a blush and were laid flat in embarrassment. However, shi sported a grin that could rival the sun.

“While I would love to do that, he's definitely not ready for it. Just give me a little time. He's…" Shi trailed off as shi thought about him. The others could tell immediately why shi was enamored with him and how broken his mental state was. They surrounded Serenity in their support, wishing that fate would work in their favor. They saw how much Travis wanted to be part of what they had. His fear kept him from taking that next step into a bigger world. Serenity was taking on a huge task to show him what being loved truly could be. They just hoped it would be enough.

Since it was way past normal bedtimes, they quickly got themselves sorted and into bed. This time, Amethyst was cuddled with Serenity as they reestablished the comfort of their bond as sisters. Kairen spooned up behind Serenity while Sequoia cuddled Amethyst's back. While they were technically considered two denmated families, the bonds they shared were more akin to one family. Their love was the most important thing they had. Everything else was replaceable. Their home, their money, their comforts. What they had, though, was irreplaceable. They wouldn't trade anything in the whole universe. They could be completely destitute, but as long as they had each other, everything would be all right.

Tomorrow would be a new day, but dark clouds threatened to undo all hir hard work.

---

Serenity woke the next morning with a yawn. The next thing shi felt was someone snuggling in between hir breasts. Amethyst had buried hirself in hir sister's cleavage and was snoozing away. Kairen snored lightly from behind hir. When Serenity looked over, said 'Kat was splayed out on hir backs, completely exposed. A slightly tired smile came to Serenity's muzzle when shi noticed Sequoia was already up and about. That was unusual. Normally, Sequoia would sleep in on weekends. Serenity couldn't blame hir. Cuddling with three Chakats was always comfortable.

Amethyst seemed to have woken up, as Serenity felt a mouth suddenly latch onto a nipple. Shi looked down at hir sister and giggled at the sucking sensation. Amethyst released hir, then practically motorboated hir. Serenity's giggling turned into a muffled shriek at the sensation.

“Hey! Quit it, Amy!"

“Sorry, Ren. These lovelies were just begging for attention." Serenity pushed up and pinned hir sister down.

“What's gotten into you? Not that I'm complaining, or anything." Amethyst smirked and used hir forepaws to hold onto Serenity.

“I'm just excited for you. It's got me all worked up seeing how much Travis wants you." Serenity leaned down and kissed hir sister. Their bond was special, something they both treasured. They loved these little moments where they could express their love. Having an audience does put a slight damper on that expression, though.

“Oh, some hot sister-on-sister action. Mind if I watch?" Amethyst grabbed one of the bed's pillows they used and smacked Kairen on the head. They all laughed together when Kairen tackled the sisters and started a tickle fight. They were still deep in combat when Sequoia came back from the bathroom. Shi grinned maniacally before slowly approaching.

“You got room for one more."

“The more, the merrier! Ack, Kai, stop! You know how sensitive my tail is! Sis, Seq', help?" Instead of helping, everyone piled on Serenity and gave hir an extra dose of loving tickles and nuzzles.

The battle ended anticlimactically with Amethyst mentioning breakfast would be cooking by now. They gathered themselves and got out of bed. They did their own morning routines, including some communal washing. Once they were ready to start the day, they went back to Braveheart and Marathon's place.

Diamond answered the door for them, giving hir sisters the usual hug and lick-kiss greeting. They gathered in the living room as Marathon and Braveheart finished cooking. Pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs, and toast was laid out on the table. The breakfast of champions, as Braveheart would say. They enjoyed their meal as a family, conversing about what happened last night. They were excited to see if Serenity could convince Travis to come to visit again. Shi was confident it would happen. The rest of the family were just as hopeful and wished hir luck on hir little dinner date tonight.

---

Travis woke slightly more tired than normal. His clock showed that it was later in the morning than he was used to. He groaned as his body protested moving. He got enough sleep last night, but his schedule was now all messed up. He'd recover. He'd done things like this before. He survived then, and he'd survive now. There were things to do, music to finish, and people to see. With some effort, he was able to get through the morning. As he was in the shower, a thought smashed into his head at full force. Next Sixthday was a holiday. Remembrance Day would be coming up soon. He had no idea how he would celebrate. Then again, he also didn't want to celebrate such a day. Too many bad memories.

He'd lost so many comrades during his time as a contractor. He held members of his unit, watching as they died in his arms. He had watched as another lost his head to a sniper. The nightmares of that time used to plague his sleep. Ever since he met Serenity, those nightmares never really affected him anymore. Sure, he got the occasional twinge. He always will when the memory is brought up. But now, he didn't have the raging nightmares he used to have. His sleep had improved considerably. He wasn't as exhausted, or cranky as he used to be. It wasn't fully relaxing yet, but a major improvement.

With his showering complete, he got himself dressed in a white and green striped shirt and some cargo shorts. Since it was the middle of the year, Amistad was moving from its spring to summer months. Granted, there wasn't normally much of a change being so close to the equator. It was just far enough away that jeans were usually worn during the fall and winter, especially for Humans. He enjoyed the fall and winter a lot more than the summer. That was when it was cool enough to warrant blankets and hot chocolate. He always imagined being under blankets with a loved one, watching the fireplace, and enjoying the company. His imagination then changed the undefined figure he had created into an image of Serenity. His heart skipped a beat, then ached for such an occasion to occur. Damn, he was getting lovesick. He had to get his mind off his desperation.

He went back to his bass and focused on finishing up his song. With any luck, he'd be done before shi got here. This time he focused on getting the whole song set up. He had chosen his key, timing, and tempo. He had a melody in his head that had been growing on him since he started this project. It had a slight fantasy flair but was heavily influenced by Chakona and its people. He wanted it to give off the vibe of being outdoors in the late afternoon when the sun was setting. The sky would be dyed bright orange and red, while the dark blue and black blanket of night slowly came from the east. It was as flowing as a mountain breeze gently caressing the trees. It was supposed to be a song of hope, of living in harmony, of peace. It was the epitome of everything he had wanted in life but was denied.

He had gotten most of it written down and recorded for playback. He'd come back later to clean it up and try for a full recording. The process for creating music was somewhat up to interpretation. Travis had decided early on when he learned to play that he would focus on the feeling of the melody first before ever trying to finalize it. He would find his own song in what he saw and felt. Once he was comfortable in that, he would then write down parts of the melody he liked. The melody would then be set to a key that fit, along with the speed and timing. Then, after playing it through, he would add in some elements that he thought would fit. Different bass techniques, different sounds that he could make, and background instruments that could accentuate what he was trying to convey. He had several different projects in his PADD, but those were old. He wanted something that was new and resembled everything Serenity had given him.

The song was written down with a final few taps on the PADD. It was still a little rough, but with a few more days of polishing, it would come out great. He'd be sure to express that, and hope serenity would be fine with a somewhat unfinalized version. That thought was banished to the ether. Of course, shi'd like it. He was confident in his bass skills. He had grown those skills from over a decade of playing. He was still learning new techniques to use and employ. He should be just fine.

Travis stretched and checked the time. Eleven sixty-three on the dot. He had skipped lunch entirely. He went to the kitchen to grab himself a snack, and to ascertain what food he could make for dinner tonight. Looking through his stock, he found his supply of stick cheeses and deli meats he uses as his go-to snack. It was quick, easy, and affordable. With his appetite mostly stated for now, he checked his inventory for what he could use. There were several options, but nothing complete. His meals were usually very basic and small. He didn't need much. However, he'd be cooking for a Chakat. They were much bigger and could pack away the food much more than a measly Human. It looks like he had to go shopping.

Gathering his essentials, he made his way out of his condo and to a local grocery store. He thought about what he could make and the supplies he'd need. He was thinking of making his own version of a grilled cheese sandwich with tomato bisque. He would also add in a side salad that would match the sandwich and soup. Something based on fruits would probably be best. A cran-apple sounded nice but wouldn't exactly match. Maybe a strawberry and raisin, with blue cheese crumbles, and a vinaigrette on top? Yeah, that sounded good. He'd go with that.

His decision was made, so he made his way down the street. He enjoyed the warm breeze that was blowing through Amistad. He wasn't the only one that was enjoying the day. Several groups of beings were wandering the streets, going about their lives. He felt so much joy come from these people. Kids were laughing in the fields, and couples were canoodling every so often. There were parents, grandparents, siblings, strangers. All manner of people milling about and enjoying the day.

He turned the corner on his way to the grocery store when he accidentally bumped into a fluffy tail. Travis lost his balance and fell right onto his posterior. He looked up to who he had run into, already an apology on his lips. He saw the figure turn around and found himself staring at a Skunktaur. Hy was in female phase and was wearing a simple red halter top. What caused greater pause was that, unlike hys normal Skunktaur brethren, this one had a fur pattern of the hooded skunk variety. Not only that, but the color was also definitely not normal. Instead of white fur, it was a light shade of pink. There must have been some Chakat ancestry to get a different pattern like that. The blue paw print on hys chest signified a kinetic manipulator. Good, telepaths were not a group he wanted to mess with. Travis didn't need them rummaging through his mind. Too many secrets were stuck in there, both state and personal.

“I'm so sorry," Travis apologized. “I wasn't watching where I was going." He was about to stand up when the feel of several hands came over him, yet no one touched him. He was lifted into the air and set on his feet. Those same hands then brushed him off, which tickled somewhat. At this point, Travis was able to ascertain that this Skunktaur was just about his height. They could look one another directly in the eye with no adjustment. Though, something was off about those eyes, but he couldn't tell what.

“No worries, love," hy responded with a slight Oxford English accent. It was sultry and soft. There was an enticing feel to it that Travis knew would get him in trouble if he wasn't careful. “Shouldn't have been standing right by the corner. You alright, though?" Travis nodded, grateful that there were no hard feelings.

He responded with, “I'm fine, shir. I'm lucky I fell on the cushiest part of myself." Dang, where did all this bravado come from? He wasn't normally this playful. What in the world was he thinking being so informal and cavalier?

“I'm glad the only thing bruised is a bit of pride," the Skunktaur laughed. Travis laughed along, enjoying a moment of levity. The Skunktaur stuck out hys arms for a greeting which Travis took. “I am Baiyoshay of House Bluepaw, son of Hazen and Tangent. Call me Baiyo."

“Travis Archer. Glad to make your acquaintance, Baiyo. Again, sorry for running into your tail." Baiyo smirked at him before bringing said tail over hys shoulder and started to caress it.

“I do try to take very good care of it, and you nearly messed it up. I think some punishment is in order." That saucy grin hy gave Travis the butterflies. It wasn't Serenity, though. All shi had to do was wink at him, and he'd shut down internally. This was merely some harmless, good-natured banter. At least, that's what Travis was going to interpret it as. It wouldn't do to assume something, as that adage was always in play.

“And what would the shir want as repayment?" Baiyo took a thinking pose. Travis knew it was all for show.

“I think another hug will suffice." Well, hugs were regarded as a form of tipping here on Chakona. Might as well consider it a form of currency to pay off debts like this. When in Rome, as they say.

“That's a steep price to pay, but I think it's doable," Travis conceded. Another round of hugging had both smiling. Travis didn't know why, or how, but something had changed inside him. It was like the mask he put on whenever he went outside was becoming more and more natural. Instead of pretending he was fine, he was. It was strange, but not unwelcome. He was getting better.

“Now, where were you off to in such a hurry?"

“Grocery store. I need more supplies for tonight."

“Oh?" Baiyo asked conspiratorially. “Got a party going on?"

“Eh, heh. No, not a party. Just a dinner date for two." Baiyo seemed to grin even further.

“Who's the lucky person?" Travis paused, smiling wistfully. His gaze went unfocused as Serenity overtook his mind. Hir scent, hir form, and hir voice all came together to make a perfect masterpiece.

“A wonderful, beautiful, caring Chakat." His mind was aflame with desire and want, but also a sense of adoration. And tucked away in the dark recesses of his mind was that bit of fear that was trying to come out.

“You love hir, don't you?"

You know that sound when a record player skips when it hits a scratch? That's what happened in Travis' head when Baiyo said that. Love? Did he really love hir? Well, yes, he supposed he did. It was weird thinking that he could love a person in such a short time. Yet, his heart wanted what it wanted. That didn't mean that love was returned in any form or fashion. Granted, Serenity had shown multiple times that shi liked being around him, but that does not mean shi loves him. There were things, though, that shi had done that put things into a better perspective. Like the fact that when he refused to spend the night with hir family last night, shi was okay with that. Shi didn't push or try to change his mind. Shi accepted it and took it in stride. It felt good to be respected like that.

“I think I do," he agreed as his mood turned mellow, “but I don't know if shi feels the same." Baiyo nodded with a critical look in hys eye.

“That's not the truth, is it? Else, you would have just gone for it and found out. You know the real reason why you won't take the next step." Baiyo wasn't pushing, but he knew lying would be ineffective at this point. He was treading on thin ice. Well, honesty is the best policy.

“Shi has feelings for me. I'll admit that. I'm just worried those will change when shi finds out…" He couldn't say it. He was too afraid to reveal the darkness he held inside. He felt his heart clench in his chest in abject agony. All the simulations, all the scenarios in his head kept repeating the same answer: shi would find him a monster.

“Walk with me." Baiyoshay turned and started walking down the sidewalk. Travis quickly caught up, noticing that Baiyo chose a slow and thoughtful pace. “This secret you carry, you're sure it's as damning as you think it is?"

Travis sighed out, “Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Any normal person would say so."

“Have you thought about letting this Chakat decide that for hirself?" That stopped any retort he may have had from surfacing. It was a simple question, seeing as they were talking about two people. Both would have to decide to go into a relationship, not just one. Travis was trying to eliminate any possibility by making the decision for Serenity.

“I guess that would be the right thing."

“Then do so. Let hir decide if shi wants the relationship. I just have one word of advice if -- no, when -- you decide to tell hir." Here, Baiyo stopped and turned to face him directly. Travis was surprised when Baiyo grabbed him by the arms and stared earnestly into his eyes. That was when he noticed something that he had missed entirely.

Baiyoshay was blind. Completely, utterly, and totally blind. Hys eyes were milky white, clouded over and unfocused. Travis' analytic mind deduced that hys talent allowed hym to see by feeling everything around him. Travis could tell, however, that just because hy was blind did not mean hy couldn't see things. It was unnerving to have blind eyes stare into your own. What had occurred to render hym blind, Travis did not know. Travis just hoped that this Skunk was living a good life despite the disability.

“Do not lie. Be honest and truthful. If you deceive hir, shi may never forgive you." These were some of the wisest words spoken to Travis in a long time. He felt the power behind them, even as this blind Skuntaur seemed to shake with tension. “Don't let your past stop you from finding happiness. I've gone through that before. It isn't worth it." His heart broke for Baiyo. In return for the support and motivation, Travis grabbed Baiyo and enveloped hym into a hug.

“Thank you, Baiyo. I... I want to tell hir. I don't want to hide behind my past anymore." Baiyo returned the hug in equal measure. Hy brought hys muzzle up to Travis' ear.

Hy whispered, “Whatever happened, happened. You can't change it. But that doesn't mean you have to shoulder it alone." They separated a little, still maintaining the hug. “Even the heaviest of burdens is lightened when shared. I do believe this is your stop." Travis looked up and saw that they were stopped right outside the local grocery store. He chuckled in mirth at how the timing was nearly perfect.

“So it seems. Thanks for the talk, Baiyo. I appreciate it." Baiyo gave him a quick nuzzle before stepping away.

“Anytime, love. Tail High." Hy turned and started back in the direction they had come from. Travis immediately knew he shouldn't let this opportunity to make a new friend go to waste.

“Wait!" he called out. “Can I have your contact info? I'd like to see you again." Hy turned and winked at hym. A flick of the tail showed some mischief from the Skunktaur.

“Oh, we'll see each other again soon, I'm sure. Treat hir right, Travis. You won't regret it."

Travis watched as Baiyo walked away. He couldn't believe his luck, or how the fates had been working in his favor. Too well, in his opinion. He would never say it out loud, as Murphey was always looking to kick someone in the balls. There was hope for him, though. He knew Serenity, or at least, he thought he did. He was pretty sure that shi wouldn't just leave him high and dry if he told hir what was bothering him. Shi was thoughtful and insightful, a deadly combination. He hoped that shi would be as forgiving as Baiyo thought shi would be. He didn't want his fears to become reality. That would break him.

---

Serenity was full of energy when shi stepped off the bus in East Hill. Shi could barely contain hir excitement at the prospect of talking to Travis in the privacy of his home. Maybe shi could get him to open up about his life and past. After that, shi'd then try to convince him that shi wanted him in hir life. That would be the hard part. Shi had to be open to the possibility of losing him when the time came. He was growing on hir, and shi hoped he felt the same. Shi was hopeful for the future with how well he reacted to meeting hir family yesterday. There was a chance, however small, that shi could succeed and bring him into a place of love and care. Deities know he deserves that much.

Twelve Ravina wasn't that far from the bus stop. The path that led to the condo complex was beautiful. Shi enjoyed the walk up the hill to where Travis lived. Once shi was inside the complex, shi searched for Travis' number. That wasn't hard to find with the directory right by the stairs that led to the upper levels. Shi followed the signs and soon found hirself in front of Travis' abode. Shi rang the doorbell and waited. It soon opened to reveal Travis smiling as bright as Chakastra.

“Hi, Serenity! Welcome!" He initiated the hug first, which shi didn't mind one bit. Shi nuzzled into his hair, letting his scent fill hir lungs.

“And good day to you, Travis. You must be really happy to see me."

“Of course! Why wouldn't I?" Shi conceded that, but still enjoyed his enthusiasm. He guided hir into his home. Shi looked around at the cozy home Travis had made for himself. There wasn't much in terms of decoration, but he had some good pieces of furniture. It was a mixture that worked for both bipeds and taurs. There were, of course, all the other appliances, including a stove, fridge, and dishwasher. Shi noticed immediately that there were no pictures of Travis anywhere to be seen. That was a detail shi must rectify. Shi planned to take him exploring and get many pictures for him to remember.

“This is a nice home you've got."

“Yeah, I'm really glad I'm able to afford it. The area is nice, and I'm not too far away from anything worth doing." Shi nodded in agreement as Travis moved to the kitchen. As shi followed, they both noticed his bass and equipment strewn around an easy chair. “Please don't mind the mess. I just finished up doing some recordings."

Shi waved off his concern with, “Don't worry about it. Do you mind if I set my saddlebags on the couch?"

“Nope, not at all. Make yourself at home. I'll start dinner here in a bit." Shi went to the couch and set hirself down. Luckily, the angle was such that if shi laid lengthwise across the couch, shi was still able to see Travis as he worked.

Travis went to his fridge and started pulling the supplies he would need for their dinner. He got some sourdough bread, three types of cheese, bacon, butter, and some olive oil. There was also the salad he had made and chilled, along with the tomato bisque he bought. Once everything was set on the counter, he gave a brief overview of the meal he had planned. Hir mouth started to water at what was being prepared.

“Tonight's meal will be an Epic Grilled Cheese, courtesy of an old friend. Mild cheddar, provolone, gouda, and strips of bacon on sourdough bread, grilled to perfection. A tomato bisque to go with the grilled cheese is always a must. I've also made a salad to go with the meal."

“Sounds delightful! Do you need any help?"

“I've got a handle on it. Now, let's get cooking!" Travis began the process of making the greatest grilled cheese he had ever experienced. When his friend made these years ago, he begged and pleaded for the recipe. It was the perfect blend of cheeses, bacon, and bread to get the perfect sandwich. Travis pulled down some dishes and silverware. Serenity took it upon hirself to set the table while he got the food ready. Once the meal was in place, they sat down and enjoyed the meal. To his happiness, Serenity did like the meal.

Once the meal was over, they retired to the couch, where they talked for a while. Serenity was curious about some of his equipment for his bass, which he happily explained. It was there that Travis offered to play some of what he came up with. He was still nervous about playing for hir, as he normally didn't play any of the music he made. The usual music that he wanted to play was stuff that was already made. He enjoyed playing older songs from Terra. Making his own music was still an artform he was trying to perfect. Shi didn't care too much about that. All shi cared about was that he was trying to hir and that's good enough for hir.

“I don't care how bad you think it is, I want to hear it Travis," shi was trying to convince him. It sort of worked, as he grabbed his bass and settled himself across from hir.

“Alright, if you're sure." He steeled himself and started to play.

Serenity watched as the song came to life in his head. With the way the song moved, shi could tell he had spent hours experimenting and musing. A feeling of wandering sprung from inside hir. It was as if shi was in the woods looking for something. There was no pressure to find whatever it was and no danger to be had in these woods. Shi could envision hirself walking a path next to a gurgling stream with the songs of birds breaking the silence. Shi could practically see the trees as they swayed to the wind. A perfect piece in hir mind.

“Very well done," shi told him when he finished. “I like it. You said it's not finished yet?"

“Not quite," he confirmed. “Still needs a little polishing."

“Well, I find it really nice. I hope you like what I've created as well." Shi pulled hir PADD out from hir saddlebag. Shi opened the folder that held hir art and passed it to him.

Shi was a good artist. Shi did so many different pieces. There were fantasy pieces that looked like it came right out of a video game. There were real-life pieces that shi had made, like one of the beaches with hir family in the foreground. Each had a delicate touch that impressed Travis. Shi explained to him that the detail work was still difficult for hir, but shi had managed to substitute that by going less for the life-like look and going more for the general idea. He was impressed by hir work. He took a thinking pose for a few seconds as an idea started to form.

“Are you interested in doing some collaboration work?"

“What do you have in mind?" shi asked.

“I'm thinking, what if we worked together to build a scene. Take for instance this piece." He pulled up one of the fantasy pieces that shi had made for a book cover. “I could easily make a recording that matches with the setting. Or I make a song and you create a piece that matches with the music. Do you get what I'm saying?" Hir eyes were squinted as shi thought of the idea. Shi was glad to make new pieces, especially since shi kind of ran into an art block recently. Using his music as an inspiration would possibly get hir over the block.

“That sounds wonderful," shi said. “That might help me improve my skills."

“Both our skills, I'd say." They both chuckled and settled back into their seats. Serenity looked back up to him. Shi noticed that while he was much more relaxed than he used to be, there was still something bothering him. It was like he wanted to say something.

“Something bothering you? You look tense." Travis took a breath. He had to say it. He just couldn't pull the courage. He decided to let it go.

“I'm fine. Just thinking of the future."

“I have as well. Do you want to know what I see?" His alarm bells were now ringing full blast. Shi couldn't possibly be thinging what he thought shi was thinking, could shi? It shouldn't even be on hir radar, let alone his. “I see you standing with me. To walk life with me, hand in hand. I spent some time thinking about it, and I've decided on what I would like. Travis?" Shi turned to him and grabbed his hands. He looked into hir eyes in response, caught off balance by hir sudden move. He saw love and care in those green eyes of hirs. Shi was filled with a passion that he felt in the core of his soul. “Would you do me the honor of being my Companion?"

For several seconds, Travis didn't answer. His mind went blank at first when trying to comprehend what shi was saying. When it was clear shi meant it, he felt the whole world crumbling around him. He was going to break hir heart with his answer, he just knew it. He felt the tell-tale pinpricks behind his eyes as his eyes watered. He stood and removed his hands from hir grasp. He didn't want to do this; he was hoping for more time. He couldn't change it now.

“You don't know what you're asking for, Serenity. Please, I don't want to lose your friendship." Shi looked so hurt. He felt like the biggest ass. Shi had to know the dangers, though. Shi wouldn't be able to make an informed decision based on lies and deceit. He had to risk vulnerability if he wanted any chance.

“What do you mean? Why would our friendship be at risk? What could you possibly think would risk us?" Shi seemed to be on the verge of crying hirself. He needed to get this out. He needed hir to know the skeletons he had.

“I, uh…" he started. “I really don't want to do this…" He took a few more breaths. His panic was rising again. He started pacing to calm himself down. Shi could hear him mumbling to himself as he moved around the living room. Then he abruptly stopped. He shuddered before tension started to form in his shoulders. “I can trust you, right, Ren? Can I trust you with my life?" Shi got off the couch and wrapped him up in hir arms.

“Of course, Travis. I'm here for you if you need me. Whatever you say will remain between us unless you say otherwise." The shaking is what told hir that he was overwhelmed. Shi could feel the subdued crying that was threatening to break him. Hir own tears stained his back as he started speaking.

“You remember when I said I doubled as a combat engineer?"

“I do."

“That was because I was part of a mercenary unit." The revelation nearly stopped hir hearts. Mercenary? He was a gun for hire? Why? Wait, contractors were hired to take on jobs to augment the efficiency of Star Fleet or Star Corps. He sucked in a ragged breath as his previous life came rushing out.

“I was trained to be an expendable soldier. Sent on missions the Federation couldn't, wouldn't, or shouldn't do. Plausible deniability, you see. If I got captured, the Federation would disown me to save face. It was the only opportunity I had to survive at the time. If I hadn't gone through with surviving as a mercenary, I would have been left on the streets. I wouldn't have survived then."

“That's not that bad. One of my aunts is in Star Fleet. Surely being in the military isn't all that bad."

“You don't understand. I did heinous things back then."

“Like what?" He opened his mouth to speak, but no words would come out. Not even Baiyo's words were getting through his head. He was shutting down. Serenity felt the descent into madness and tried to stop it in its tracks. Shi turned him around and grabbed onto his face. The tears were freely flowing now. He made no effort to hide them. He was too exhausted mentally to even try. “Please, Travis. Talk to me. I'm here for you." For several, long seconds, he didn't speak a word. It all came rushing out when he forced himself to reveal the one secret he had carried for so many years.

He sobbed out, “I killed a kid!" He broke down fully. The wracking sobs made his knees weak, and he collapsed to the floor. Shi followed him down, still holding on to him. Shi turned him around so he could lean against hir and hold hir as well. Shi acted as his rock as his emotions tossed him about like a cork in the ocean. Shi gently rocked him back and forth as everything started spewing from him.

“I had to make a decision," he blubbered out. “He came out with his mom, and she gave him something. He started running at us. If I shot him, I'd be court martialed and possibly executed for murder. If I didn't, then he could have blown all of us up. I couldn't tell at first what he was carrying, but my friend yelled out that it was a grenade." He shuddered as the memories came flooding back. The aggravating sand. The oppressive heat. The noxious smell of waste in the sewers.

“What happened?" He gripped hir tighter. His hold was tense, corded muscle straining against his skin.

“I shot him. The second I did, I froze. Then his mom rushed to him. I thought I had fucked up, that I made the wrong choice. She grabbed the grenade and was ready to throw it. I wasn't fast enough. My friend took the shot. She was ripped apart by the hail of phaser fire. The grenade blew just meters away from us. I had probably saved all our lives." Shi rubbed his back in soothing circles. Shi could now understand why he was so hesitant to talk about what he did before. It brought up such painful memories. Shi was proud of him, though. He faced the crucible of telling hir the truth. Shi would respond in kind.

“I'm sorry you had to go through that. That doesn't change how I feel. I still care for you," shi told him quietly.

“Why, though? Why do you feel sorry for a monster?" At that, he felt a change in Serenity. Shi pushed him slightly away from hir. He thought that his fears were coming true. That shi finally realized who he was. He expected the slap shi gave him. He knew he deserved it. What he didn't expect were the next words that penetrated his ears.

“Don't call yourself that! You are not a monster! You had to make a choice that had your life and the lives of your comrades on the line! You should be proud that you came out of that alive!"

“Why should I be proud of killing a child?! I didn't want to kill him!"

“He took that choice away from you! Don't you see?" Shi grabbed his face and forced him to look at hir. “You're not a monster. You defended yourself from a known threat." He wanted to believe hir. He wanted to trust hir. So, he did. He put his faith in this being that had won his heart.

Serenity felt his strength leaving him. He was still crying, but shi didn't mind. This was a catharsis for him. He was letting years and years of stress out. Shi took that burden gladly. Shi also felt the weight of his trust as he unshackled the weight of the world. As he calmed down slightly, shi decided to further support him in this trying time. Shi recalled all the good things shi saw in him. Shi took a deep breath and hoped shi would get through to him.

“Do you know what I see in you?" shi asked him. He blinked a few times in confusion, obviously curious about what shi was thinking. Shi'd happily oblige him. “I see a man who cares about others. He wants what's best for those around him. If you could, would you have taken that grenade to save their lives? Give up yours for theirs?"

“Gladly," he responded.

“Then be thankful you came out of that situation alive while defending your comrades. I also see a man who works so hard to not burden others with his troubles. It can be an admirable feat, but it puts so much weight on you. Let me help take the burden." Shi started inching closer to him. His eyes widened as he realized what shi was doing.

“Serenity…"

“Shush. Let me finish. Now, do you know what else I see? I see a man looking for love but struggles to trust. You've been hurt before. It pains me to see how you sabotage yourself when someone is offering their love. You believe that you are worthless, yet here I am extending my love to you. Do you think I would just bring anyone into my family if I didn't see something worthwhile in them?" Travis grew more and more ashamed. He wanted to explain more, but he needed more time. He wanted to accept hir offer. He wanted to have a family to call his own. He just couldn't get over himself.

“Serenity, I'm not worth it. How can I? I'm not special. What value do I have that makes you see anything in me?" Shi was silent. So many different thoughts flew in hir mind, but the major one was how dare he. Hir anger grew, but so did hir sadness. Shi would have given him another slap if shi didn't feel how much he believed that he was worthless.

“Do you think so little of me?" shi said.

“What?"

“Do you think my choice makes me stupid? I chose you because I love you, faults, and all. Does my choice in you mean I'm making a mistake?" Hir own tears started to form. He had succeeded in making hir cry. That was another achievement in being the biggest dumbass of the century.

“Please, don't cry. I can't stand to see you cry," he whimpered to hir.

“Then stop being a fool." Shi closed the distance, pressing hir lips to him. His brain short-circuited. Hir taste was like ambrosia. It was sweet, heady, and invigorating. When it broke, he thought it was too soon. “I love you for you, Travis. I want you in my life. I don't care what you did in the past, because if it didn't happen, you wouldn't be here."

“But I did so many horrible things. How can you--"

“Because those things led you here, to me," shi interrupted. “So, please, can you at least see that you have value?" He stared at hir in awe, trying to piece together what shi was saying. He had been taught during his childhood that he was a mistake. That something was defective about him. He had fought so long to prove that wasn't true, but the lie was firmly planted in his head. It grew like a weed, and like a weed, spread rapidly through his psyche. Luckily for him, the gardener was coming through.

He mumbled something quietly. Even with hir sensitive hearing, shi couldn't quite make it out. Shi leaned in and asked him to repeat what he said. He took a few deep breaths.

With a trembling voice, he asked, “Do you mean it? Please, Ren, I don't think I could handle it if you…" He paused as another sob racked him. To answer him, shi kissed him again.

“I love you, Travis. I always will. I will keep telling you this until death takes us. Do you believe me now?"

“Yes," he said with conviction. He was finally breaking down the walls he had erected. He felt freer like he could soar into the sky. Shi smiled at him, tears starting to dry.

“Then I ask you one more time: Travis, will you be my Companion?" He thought about it. He felt that this was rushed, that it was occurring too fast. He wanted time. Yet, he knew his answer. He wanted this. The problem was that he didn't want this to end up in a codependent relationship. He had to be fine with or without hir. Yet, he was struggling with the concept of without hir.

“Can I have some time to think about it? I would like to, but I fear I'll become codependent on you. You don't deserve that."

“Then it's lucky that you don't decide what I deserve, right? I respect that you care so much about me that you're willing to forgo a relationship for my sake. I will give you as much time as you need. My offer will stand until you make a decision." Shi held him once more. Both basked in the feel of each other, the warmth of their bodies. Travis wanted to accept the offer right then and there. “You'll always be worth my time, Travis. Trust me on that." They lay there together, cuddling on the floor of the living room. The only sound that could be heard was the content purr of a Chakat.