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For the next couple of days, I avoid Alex as much as possible. After a week of avoiding him, I was happy--but it was bittersweet. The thought of trying _to not see him made me a little sad, 'cause I did miss him a bit. _

_ It didn't have long, though, to talk to Alex about what happened that night._

By mid-afternoon, the school's library was surprisingly slow, so I sat near the back, listening to some music and skimming through a book left by me. The book was some vampire romance or some shit like that.

I closed my eyes for a second; tiredness was starting to take a grip on me. Soon I felt someone sit down next to me, but I didn't bother opening my eyes. I must have dozed off because I felt a gentle nudge on my shoulder.

"Hey . . ." a voice said.

My eyes shot upon.

Sitting next to me was Alex, a weak smile on his muzzle. He fidgeted with his paws awhile, glancing back to me every few seconds. He obviously had something on his mind, but I sat patiently and waited for him to speak.

At last, he opened his muzzle. "I'm sorry about the night at the party, about how I acted," he said, and again gave me that weak smile.

I nodded and smile back. "It's fine."

He opened his muzzle and then closed it again. He did this a few more times. "No, it isn't. I was rude." He sighed. "When you brought up your mom, I just sort of lost it. See, I was in a bad relationship. The guy I loved used me. He was so sweet at first and gentle. We had been going out for a month and I figured it'd do something special for our month anniversary"--his voice broke up the more he talked--"see, we hadn't had sex yet, and he never pressured me about it either. So we . . . you know . . . that night, and it was great. But after that, he stopped answering my calls or texts. I was worried I might have done something around, and a couple of days later, I found him with another guy. I wanted to know what was wrong, why he was ignoring me; I wanted to truth, and I got it . . . ."

Alex stopped there, taking a deep breath and wiping tears away from his eyes. "He told me that he didn't love me, and that never did; that I was nothing other than a fuck toy that he decided was no longer useful. He had found someone better; another bear like him. After that I was distraught. To hear someone I cared for say he didn't want me made my world crumble. My parents were so worried about me because of how disconnected I was. That is . . . until I couldn't hide it anymore and told them. My father was shocked. Mother . . . was furious. But not for what I thought it was for. She started yelling at me, asking me how I could do something so unnatural and veil. Mom was sick to her stomach to know that her some was a fag; I had deserved what I got. Fags deserved to get used."

"Dad was even more in shock at what his wife said. He tried to talk to her and get her to calm down so we could talk about this, but she wouldn't calm down. She couldn't understand how Dad was ok with--what I was. Then. . . after two days of arguing Mom gave Dad, accentually, an ultimatum: either I leave or she does . . . I haven't seen or talked to my mother in two years--not since after the divorce."

I just sat there in awe to hear something terrible happen to him, and then to later have his own mom yell at him for it. I wanted to say something, but couldn't think of anything appropriate to say. I defiantly felt sorry for him.

My paw reached out and rested on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," was the only thing I could say.

Alex looked up and smiled through his sadness. "Thanks. I've gotten over it, thanks to my dad. He really helped me get through it. Dad helped pay for my apartment."

A small smile lifted my lips. "I was in a bad relationship too," I said.

Alex look at me, ears perked. His eyes started to darken with sadness.

"Yeah," I said a bit quickly. "I was with my girlfriend for a couple of years, and things were getting serious, or so I thought. I saw us getting married and maybe having a cub or two. Then a few months ago, she said she was moving away to go to a big art school, and saw the exact opposite of what I thought. She broke up with me that night. What a bitch, right?"

Alex's smile lighted a little a. "Yeah," he said.

"Look, I'm about to leave, did you want to get something to eat together? I'm starving." I got up and held out my paw, he took it. I pulled him up and we made our outside. "I know a good sandwich shop nearby."

After that we start hanging out; we'd usually end up going to his place after school to work on homework since it was closer. We were there so often I could smell my own scent becoming mixed in with his, and a few time's I got the faint scent of another male badger, but older. Must be his father.

_ Alex started coming to my matches to cheer me on and it made me happy. Very happy. I hadn't felt this feeling since Em came to watch me wrestle. The more he cheered, the more I wanted to win. It wanted to win for him. _

_ He was there for me--in ways I didn't expect, like how I felt with Em--for my wins and losses. Things were going great for me, but . . . the more I hung out with Alex, the more a strange feeling kept creeping over me. _

_ And I was starting to like it . . . ._

The truck shuttered to a stop as Alex pulled up to my house. I got out of the car and Alex followed suit, and we made our way inside. The floor was cool to the paw and the cold air felt great against the heat outside.

Alex stood near the stairway, looking around. "Wow . . ." he said. "Nice place." He looked down and rubbed a foot across the floor. "Awesome."

I smiled. Mom put a lot of money into getting the marble floors_--_great for cooling feet and feels amazing against the footpads.

"Where's the bathroom," Alex asked.

I pointed up the stairs. "At the end of the hall near the right, and the room across is mine, so head inside when you're ready." Once he was up, I headed straight into the kitchen to get us some snacks and then headed upstairs to my room.

A sharp musk scent hit my nose once I entered. Shit . . . my room stinks. I grabbed a can of air freshener and sprayed it all around the room until the fainted scent was left. I sat down on my bed, snacking on a chip until Alex came out.

A few short minutes, I heard the faucet come on and out stepped the badger, wiping his paws against his shirt. He smiled once he entered and took a seat across from me at my desk.

We sat there in silence for a bit before Alex got up and started exploring my room. He turned around and looked at the various objects that scattered the top. He smiled at the picture of me and my parents at my meet after my first win. Then he walked over to my dresser and placed a paw against the wood, lightly brushing his claws against the patterns carved into the top. His paws stopped at the picture of my ex_--_which I meant to trash.

"Is this her?" Alex asked. He lifted the picture from the top.

I nodded. "Yeah . . ." I said.

"She's cute."

"Um . . . thanks . . . ." I scratched my ear, a little uncomfortable. "Hey, I thought you're gay."

Alex laughed. "I am, but she's still kind of cute."

I laughed as well. "You know, you're something."

Alex turned around and smile. "Thanks." He sat back down on the chair. "Ok. Why don't we get started on our homework?"

"Oh! Yeah," I said and handed him his backpack.

We spent the next couple of minutes working on homework, occasionally taking a break from the snake of food or getting something to drink. And after what seemed like hours we decided to call it quits and relax.

I headed downstairs to get more food while Alex put in some shooter game. We played a couple of rounds playing missions and shooting each other. The sun began to set, setting the sky from a fiery blaze to a darkening purple. We talked about what we wanted to do after college. I wanted to go into music, maybe join a band or start my own. Alex mentioned his drawing and pulled out his sketchbook. I had to admit they were really good--better, actually than Emily's.

I handed Alex his controller and said, "One more round."

He nodded. "Ok."

Damn . . . it almost got me that time as I dodged an on slot of bullets. But after a while, I manage to get him.

"Ha! Suck it!" I said and then blushed hard. I can't believe I just said that to a gay guy! I jumped a little when Alex busted out laughing.

"Well," he said, shaking with giggle fits. "If you insist."

My face and ears felt like they were on fire; I don't think I could blush any harder. Did I hear that correctly? Well . . . maybe . . . I mean what would that be like--I squished that thought instantly. I really didn't want to know what it'd be like to be blown by a guy.

Alex gave me a light punch on the shoulder. "Don't think too much about it, I know you're kidding."

I gave a sheepish smile, feeling awkward about the situation. More importantly, where my mind went too.

My throat felt dry and rough. I rubbed it to see if that would make it feel better, but it didn't. I was unsure of what to say next, so I picked up my controller again and we continued playing the game.

Alex shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Straight guys," he muttered. "Always think gay guys want them."

"Gay men," I quipped. "Always trying to get into one another's pants."

"Good one," Alex said as I got a few good rounds on him. Whether it was to my comment or my shot, I was unsure.

Minutes ticked by slowly, and the sky darkened even farther as time passed by. My ears flicked as I heard the garage open. Is Mom home already? I waited, straining for any sounds downstairs. But all I heard was the gunshots from the game.

"Hey, are you hungry?" I asked, just as my stomach growled.

"Sure." Alex nodded, and we both head for the door.

The door swung open and Mom stepped in. "Honey, what you want for . . ." she started to say, and then her eyes fell on Alex. "Oh."

Alex smiled shyly. "Hi."

I blushed. "Sorry Mom," I said. "This is my friend Alex. He's the one I've been hanging out with for a while."

Mom took the paw Alex offered and smiled, shaking it. "Nice to meet you," she said. "Are you going join us for dinner?"

Alex's smile brightened. "If you don't mind having me over?" he asked.

"Of course not," Mom said. "Chase, what did you want for dinner?"

I thought about it for a moment. "Hmm. Can we get some Chinese?"

"Ok, I'll go order some." She left the room, closing the door behind her.

A few minutes the door downstairs opened and closed, and Dad's voice traveled upstairs. "Boys, dinner's here."

We made our way downstairs and into the kitchen, and Alex and I started helping Mom set the table.

"Alex, you don't need to help. You're our guest." Mom smiled warmly

"I know," Alex said. "But I don't mind. It'd be rude of me not to help." He grabbed a set of plates and set them on the kitchen table.

Mom walked over to me to help set up the food. "What manners that young man has."

I smiled and looked back at the badger. "Yeah, he's a good guy."

We all sat down together with a little bit of everything on our plates. Dad gulped his beer and Mom sipped on a glass of wine.

Everything seemed to be going great up until Mom asked Alex about his parents.

"Mom . . . !" I hushed, ears flat and my eyes darted toward Alex.

Mom gave me confused look.

"Chase . . . its ok . . ." He sighed and started to open his muzzle. "My parents--" he started to say until I cut him off.

"Alex's parents aren't together anymore . . . his mom left when she found out he's gay."

I stared at my parent's expressions: surprised. Mom's glass froze inches from her lips and dad choked a little on the food he was chewing.

"Oh . . ." Mom mumbled. "What happened--if you don't mind me asking?"

Alex's ears went down a little but popped back up and he smiled. "No, it's fine. My parents found out that I'm gay after I got out of a bad relationship, really my first relationship. Mom wasn't too happy out. She threatened my dad that if I didn't leave, then she would. Dad refused, so Mom left . . ."

Mom reached over and rested her paw on his. "I'm sorry to hear that happened. But at least you still have your father."

"Yeah, my father has been very supportive of me. He even helped me find an apartment when I was ready to move out. He comes over every other weekend and we grab dinner and/or go see a movie if we're in the mood for it. Dad's been doing well for himself."

"That's good to hear." Mom smiled, and Dad nodded in agreement.

"How did you and Chase meet," Dad spoke up.

I stared at Alex, willing him to not tell my parents it was at a gay club. And by some miracle, I knew Alex could sense that.

"Oh," he started. "We met at a party a couple of weeks ago." He smiled at me because it was partly true. "And we go to college together, so we started meeting after class and hung out."

"Yeah, and Alex is an amazing artist," I chimed in.

"What's your father's name?" Mom asked.

"Loren," Alex said. "Our last name is Staler."

"What does he do?" Dad asked.

"He's a math teacher at the high school in town."

"Next time you're over, please bring him with you. We'd like to meet him sometime."

"I'm sure Dad would love that. I'll ask him about it tonight."

The rest of dinner was silent until Dad and Alex started talking about what good action movies were out, getting into a heated discussion about which was the best. I smiled as I watched Alex enjoy himself.

By the time Alex was ready to leave it was a little past ten, and we both wished my parents goodnight, and I walked Alex outside to his car. I got in, and the both of us got my bike out of the truck's bed.

"Thanks for staying for dinner," I said, wheeling my bike to the front.

"Thanks for inviting me. I had fun." Alex walked beside me, stopping at the driver's door. "I hadn't had dinner with a family in a while. Mostly it's just me and my Dad when he comes to visit."

"Well, you're welcome anytime you want."

Alex smiled. "I will. Night," he said getting inside and waving goodbye as he drove off.

I couldn't keep the smile off my lips for the rest of the night. I couldn't wait to have Alex over more, maybe I'll see if his dad could come.

The more I hung out with Alex the closer I felt to him--more than I had realized. I was content on ignoring the feeling that had started to creep into me, a small ember that was slowly growing hotter and brighter.

_ But it wasn't until Alex's birthday that I was forced to admit what I was feeling--whether I wanted to admit it or not . . . ._

Snow began to fall near the end of November; everything was covered in snow once the second week of December, the bitter chill of winter made me wish it was warm again--thank god my winter coat was starting to come in.

_ Alex came over every now and then to help me with my homework_

_ I was getting more and more excited the closer Alex's birthday, but I was a little frazzled on what to get him, at least, until I happened upon an art store. I was about the leave when something caught my eye: a complete art set, though it was a little more expensive than what I would have wanted. But Alex said his set was slowly starting to dry up and he's worth it anyway._

_ December 22 rolled around, and I couldn't wait to give him his present. Unfortunately, he was spending the day with his dad, so I had to wait. It's funny though, that badger has been on my mind for a while, as hard as I tried not to be kind about him all that much. It's just that . . . when I'm with him . . . I don't know. The more I see him, the more excited I get. I even replaced the picture of my ex with one of Alex and me together at Thanksgiving. _

My clock ticked away as the day progressed, and I kept checking my phone now and then when I thought it had gone off. It was until 7:30 that I got a text: Hey, meet me at Glass Corner for dinner, Dad's treating us.

Glass Corner? I don't know. That's kind of an expensive restaurant. I'd feel bad about having his dad pay for all three of us. But I really wanted to give him his gift. I waited a minute to make up my mind. Ok, I'll head over right now.

Ding!

Don't forget to wear something nice ;)

After five minutes of stressing about what to wear, I remembered I had a suit for family dinners and special occasions. I quickly slipped into that and headed out the door, taking one of my parent's cars instead of my bike. It took me about an hour to get to the restaurant.

The restaurant was nice and warm when I entered, which felt great against the freezing cold outside. The hostess at the front asked if I wanted a table, but I said I already had one, and I gave her the name. The vixen guided me toward a table near the back. I watched as her russet tail swayed as she elegantly maneuvered around tables.

The restaurant was lively with couples and friends enjoying dinner (for the money they were paying I'd hope so). The room was dimly lit with a piano playing in the background of what sounded like Christmas music. The glass tables with their white table clothes were spaced apart evenly. Wine glass along with silver sterling adorned the tops. This was a classy place, so I was a little surprised we'd be having Alex's birthday here.

Once I was in sight, Alex stood up and waved me over. I stood still in my tracks, jaw open. Alex looked so . . . handsome? Really? I thought. But it was the only word that came to mind. He looked cute in his auburn shirt and black blazer. And his fur! I don't think I've ever seen it so well brushed and it had a nice sheen of tint in it. I wonder how he got it with his winter coat.

"Um . . . Hi," was all I could say. I blushed hard, tail wagging, ears back.

"Come sit down, we were just about to get drinks," Alex said, patting the chair next to him.

"Thanks . . ." I murmured, blushing harder. "Here, I got you a present." Gingerly I handed him his poorly wrapped present.

Alex's eyes lit up when he opened the case. "Oh, thank you!" he gushed. He reached over and hugged me tightly.

"That was very nice of you Chase." Alex's dad looked from the present to me and smiled.

I just nodded, unable to form words.

"It's nice to see you again Mr. Staler." I reached over and offered my paw to the big badger.

"As you too, and please, call me Loren," he smiled. He took my paw and shook it firmly.

I asked Alex how his day had gone while we waited for our steaks to come.

Alex said his father came to pick him up for breakfast and that spend the rest of the day talking and enjoying each other's company.

It was nice to be near the two had a good time today, though it made me a little sad to think about what his mom is missing out on--but oh well, her loss, right?

I asked Mr. Staler how work and everything were going he said everything was good while we ate our dinner. He thought about selling his house since it was only him and moving into something smaller.

I told him if he needed help moving just to let him know.

"How's work and school going for you?" Mr. Staler asked.

"Works work, you know? And school is fine, Alex has been helping me out with that," I said.

"That's because Alex is a smart kid."

Alex's ears flicked at the mention of his name, and he looked up from his food and smiled.

Mr. Staler rested a paw on his son's head and rubbed his ears.

Alex blushed and swatted his father's paw away. "Dad!" he gave a hushed whisper.

The badger chuckled a little and placed his paw on his head again.

The three of us talked some more while we finished our dinner. The waitress came back after collecting out plates and asked if we wanted anything for dessert, and Mr. Staler asked for a small dessert to take home for Alex, and me too, but I declined.

The check was placed on the table after the desert was dropped off. I started to reach over for it, but the large badger snatched it first.

"I can take care of that . . ." I said, holding my paw out.

"That's ok. I can take care of it," he said without looking at me and took out his wallet.

"At least let me pay for the desert."

Mr. Staler sighed. "Chase you are our guest, and I said I'd take care of it. You two go have fun." He got up, put on his jacket, and headed over to the cashier, leaving the two of us together alone.

"So . . . you ready?" I asked.

Alex nodded, and we both got ready and headed outside. Alex hugged his dad goodbye before following me to the car.

We sat in the car waiting for it to warm up. "Where do you want to go?" I asked.

"Want to see a movie?" he asked.

"Dude, that's up to you. It's your treat."

"Hmm . . . want to get a drink?"

I nodded and head toward the nearest bar which was a block away. There were a few cars parked in the small lot. The large neon sign head above the entrance read "Get Wild", interesting. Once inside the place was a bit of run-down look to it--purposeful or internal I didn't know which--with some rock music softly blaring through some speakers.

Alex and I sat down at the bar and a large grungy panda wiping out a glass gave us a funny look. I gave him a bit of an awkward smile.

"What can I do you for?" he asked.

"Two beers," I said.

Again, he gave us a weird look and held out his enormous paw. "I.D.s?" he asked.

The two of us took them out handed them over. He stared at our I.D.s and then glanced between us before nodding and handing them back. The bartender placed two bottles in front of us before turning to his next customer, a pudgy-looking deer.

The deer gave me a hard look. "What the fuck you are looking at faggot?"

A few conversations instantly stopped and some of the patrons at the bar had their heads were turned toward us. Even the bartenders were on me, waiting to see what I'd do or say.

Admittedly we were a bit out of place: two badgers all dressed up.

"_Well?"_the deer stuttered, and then he started to get up until the panda put a paw on his shoulder and shoved him back down.

"Nothing . . . just gazing around the place," I muttered.

"The fuck you are! Probably fucking me with your mind an' shit . . ."

"That's enough Paul," the panda said, placing an enormous paw on the deer's shoulder.

"But Rich . . ." Paul said, stumbling out of Rich's grip.

"Don't make me kick out again. This is the third fight you've tried to start."

"Fine . . ." Paul grabbed his beer and walked away to a booth facing away from us. Shit . . . that was close. Thank god Rich was there to intervene.

The panda turned toward us, and murmured, "Sorry," But the tone of his voice and how he just shrugged it off made me think otherwise.

I didn't feel comfortable in this place with the stares furs kept throwing at us. Some were trying to be inconspicuous about it, and others bluntly eyed us. God. What the fuck was everyone's problem? Can't a couple of dressed-up guys have a drink at a bar?

Alex placed a paw on my arm, smiling. "Hey, thank you for the present and taking me out."

I smiled back. "Oh, it's no problem, anytime."

Rick glanced down at Alex's paw as he cleaned the glass, but kept what seemed to be on his mind to himself. Thank God.

I moved my arm away from Alex's grasp. Didn't want anyone to get the wrong idea about us, which I assumed was one of someone's minds, especially Paul's.

We didn't stay much longer. I don't think we were welcomed here, and Alex was smashed from the couple of beers he had downed. I smiled to myself; such a lightweight. It took us a couple of extra minutes to get onto the main road because the snow and traffic were terrible. After an extra thirty, we finally made it out of the traffic jam, and I started taking Alex home--whom I've noticed is not only happy drunk but also very talkative.

He rolled his head toward me and smiled. "You're awesome, you know that, right?"

Pride sparked inside me, making me grin and square my shoulders, raising my muzzle high. "Yeah, I know," I said matter-of-factly. It made me happy hearing that, like I was doing something right.

"Oh! Christmas!" Alex squealed. "Dad and I are coming over, right?"

"Yeah, I cleared it with Mom and Dad, you two are going to have breakfast with us."

"Good." Alex turned away and stared out his window, watching as the snow pelted hit, his muzzle pulled into a smile, and the faint thumping of his tail hit the back of his seat. That cute smile of his always caused my chest to swell knowing was the cause of it . . .

I let the thought trail off, a little afraid to finish it, and focused on the road. By the time we'd gotten to Alex's apartment, it was getting late, and I knew I'd have to head home soon. I grabbed Alex and held him close, blushing a little as his arm wrapped around my chest. We made our way up the stairs and into the cold apartment.

I dropped Alex onto the sofa and went to turn the heat on.

Alex rested his head against the back and closed his eyes.

I stoop there, unable to look away. He looked so peaceful and serene, I'd hate to bother him. Again that swelling inside my chest returned. I sat down next to him, and he shifted and rested his head against my shoulder. Acutely aware of how close he was, and how close his lips were to mine. I don't know if it was the alcohol or what, but I wonder what it would be like to kiss a man; to kiss him . . . I could just reach down and kiss them . . .

In that instant, Alex opened his eyes and look at me. Huh . . . it dawned on me that I never noticed his eye color. They were cool steel gray, and they were staring directly after me.

As if having a will of its own, slowly, I lowered my muzzle down to kiss, eyes closed, as he raised his. And when our lips touched my heart throbbed in my ribcage and my pulse pounded in my ears, defining out anything but us. The kiss was sweet and warm, just like his lips.

Alex wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, our lips parting. Our tongues touched, and something happened inside me. Part of me wanted this, and scarcely, so did another part.

No . . . wait . . . My brain tried to rationalize what was happening. I didn't want this, did I? I wanted to say no, but my body and heart said eyes.

Unfortunately, my brain won out at it screamed, No! No stop! I don't want this!

I ripped myself from, horrified at how much I was panting. I could still taste his lips.

Alex opened his eyes, confused, and soon that confusion turned to worry once he saw my expression. "Chase . . . are you ok?" he asked.

How could I answer that? Wait, I knew exactly what to say. "What'd you kiss me?"

Alex bolted up and stepped toward me, paw stretched out. I backed away.

"I-I'm sorry . . ." he said, eyes down on the ground, ears pulled back to his skull. "I . . . I thought this is what you wanted. . ."

Ha! I couldn't help but laugh dryly. "What on God's green earth makes you think I would want to kiss a faggot!" I growled, my voice full of disdain. But once said the last word, my heart squeezed tightly.

"Look . . . I'm sorry, please . . ." Alex's paw reached out further as he took a step toward me again.

I backed away, growling. "Leave me alone!" I screamed and ran out of the apartment. The last thing I saw was the pained look on his face and the scent of despair that whiffed off him. I got my car and drove away, not even giving his open apartment a second glance. I just wanted to leave, and wipe that memory away. Once I was a good distance away at a stoplight, I couldn't hold it in anymore. I pounded the staring wheel until my paw was throbbing. My body was shaking and my heart felt like was about to burst. I stayed at the light for a while after it turned green. I wanted to cry but didn't.

Fuck! Fuck him! I hated him! I hated how he made me feel about him . . . .

I didn't know to feel or what to do. Twice I thought about driving back and holding him and telling him I'm sorry on my way home.

I'm not gay, I DON'T love him, I told myself. I couldn't . . . . I had a girlfriend--we had sex for Christ sake!

But . . . part of me knew it was true . . . It was there, just beneath the surface. Whatever Alex and I have was palpable. It kept on growing the more I saw him, got close to him. I wanted--fuck! I don't what I want!

This was all too much, and it hurts so much.

I sighed. I know I should apologize, but I'm still too angry, more so at myself, and I was afraid of what I'd say, or what he would. I said some very hurtful things. I regret them, but it's too late for that. They're something I can't take back now . . .

God. Why am I so messed up? I always liked girls, and then all of a sudden I like guys, well one guy, now. I just couldn't tell which end of the spectrum I fall in. I had never felt any attraction to guys before now. Certainly not physical attraction until this point.

I wanted to blame it on the alcohol, but I knew that wasn't true. I hadn't felt this way about anyone since my ex, and then Alex came around, and I started to feel that way with him. I tried lying to myself, but deep down I knew it was true, and I may have completely fucked it all up . . .

I'm just so confused right now, and I honestly don't know what I was going to do.

By the time I got home, I had simmered down somewhat. I pulled into the driveway, headed inside and up the stairs, avoiding my parents. For some reason, I was worried they'd know of some reason.

I plopped down onto my bed and stared at the ceiling. A few minutes passed by before Mom came into my room and asked how the dinner went. I told her it was fine, and that Alex enjoyed his present. She asked me if Alex and his father were still planning on coming over for breakfast on Christmas Day. That made my heart squeeze. I didn't know . . .

Mom wished me goodnight and went to bed. I sat up and pulled my phone from my pocket and stared at it. My eyes were locked at the phone clenched in my paw. Without even realizing it, I had pulled up Alex's number, my thumb hovering above the Call button. I sat there for thirty minutes, deciding whether to call him or not. Part of me hopes he wouldn't and part of me worries he would.

Tiredness seized my body; it was getting hard to keep my eyes open. This was such a tiring day, emotionally. I was still a little angry at myself about what happened before. I mean it wasn't like Alex had forced me to kiss him. I did it all of my own accord.

The phone sat in my paw for another minute or two before I threw it on the bed and stripped down to my fur. I usually leave my boxers on when I went to bed, but fuck it. What did I care if Mom or Dad came while I slept naked?

I threw my clothes into my hamper and turned off my light and crawled into bed, resting my head against my pillow. But sleep never came--not for some time. I kept replaying the scene over in my head.

It wasn't until around midnight that I _finally_fell asleep. And even asleep, Alex plagued my dreams, so much so that I woke up two hours later, panting and sweating, clenching the bedsheets in my paws.

I rolled over . . . shit . . . I sighed as I pulled my wet, sticky sheets from my bed and stuffed it into my hamper, guess I'll have to wash them tomorrow without Mom and Dad question why.

I pulled my boxers back on and laid back down, a little reluctant to close my eyes again. I was a little afraid I'd have dreams about the badger again.

I didn't bother pulling another blanket on; I was too hot for that now. I turned my fan on high in hopes it would cool my hot body.

Bright light beet down against my eyes, making me shield them by shoving my face into my musky pillow. Shiiittttt . . . It was morning already.

Wait . . . it was morning? I rushed over and pulled out my phone, seeing the digital clock read ten o'clock.

I pulled up Alex's phone number and instantly pressed dial, holding the phone up to my ear. My stomach fluttered as I waited for it to dial. But my fears realized as it didn't even ring, it instant told me the number was no longer available.

My heart stopped then and there. He blocked my number. . .

Something wet slid down my cheek. It wasn't until then that I realized I'd been trying to cry until one of the teardrops dripped onto my phone. No . . . I fucked up so badly . . .