Poem - The True Story of Rudolph the Reindeer
Fun fact: Did you know that female reindeer have antlers?
The True Story of Rudolph the Reindeer
You've heard of Dasher, Dancer,/ Prancer and the rest.
Santa's famous reindeer team,/ and perhaps you've heard the best
was one strange deer named Rudolph/ who had a big red nose.
But that was really not the reason/ he first became well-known.
Now, you will see in the all the pictures/ of these fabled deer
They all have great big antlers./ It's obvious. Quite clear.
And that's the reason why/ most people will assume
that it's a team of hearty stags/ that fly across the moon.
But the thing with reindeers is,/ the does have antlers too.
Yes, reindeer gals have BIG ol' racks!/ I'm telling you, it's true!
And the ones who bring the presents/ to kids all 'round the world
Yes, these ones were all does as well./ Santa's reindeer were all girls!
That is until old Rudolph/ became the odd man out.
But it's only of his biright red nose/ that people talk about.
Yes, Santa's team was staring/ at that thing so out of place.
It was big, and red, and shiny,/ but it wasn't on his face...
Comet turned to Vixen,/ and whipsered in her ear,
"What's that thing between her legs?/ She's probably not a deer!"
But Vixen was unlike her friend;/ not as innocent herself
Cause she was awfully popular/ with the reindeer stable's elves.
But those little men were nothing/ compared to this new buck.
At last, the North Pole had a guy/ who she could really fuck!
So Vixen, she got down and lay/ spread-eagle on the floor
To show to all the other does/ what this Rudolph boy was for.
Rudie jumped up right away,/ eager for the ride.
"Oh, GINGERBREAD!" cried Vixen,/ as he pushed himself inside.
Now Rudolph was a big one/ and Vixen was so tight
The two went really at!/ 'Twas _not_a silent night...
The other deer watch on in awe./ This "sex" they'd never had.
But Vixen's little moans were sweet./ It must not be that bad!
So when their friend was finally spent/ and couldn't move a lick
Each doe took her turn to ride/ on Rudie's bright, red dick.
The word it spread 'round quickly,/ about the team's new stud
and it didn't take too long before/ the whole Arctic was abuzz.
Every gal was awfully curious/ (and some fellas too)
So they all came by to see just what/ this special deer could do.
None cared to sit on Santa's lap./ Such things had lost their thrill.
Rudolph was the one to see/ to get your stocking filled!
Everyone agreed he was/ the best they ever felt.
One day he met an eskimo/ and made her igloo melt.
And the elf girls had their candy canes/ but said it felt the best
When Rudolph's reindeer games would make/ their little pussies stretch.
So, now you know the truth about/ the most famous deer of all.
And how it not his nose that counts/ but his _juicy_dick and balls.
Now Santa's workshop is a place/ of merriment and mirth.
But truthfully, with all the sex/ it _does_cut in to work...
Rudolph's very special gifts/ fill all with joy and cheer.
And that is why the reindeer team/ only works one day a year.