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[center][b]Meant To Be

By: VeronicaFoxx

For: Arrow[/b][/center]

Richard was a little concerned when he pulled into through the gate and onto the Bastion estate. It, theoretically, wasn't any different from any of his other recent visits, with Scarlet sitting beside him, bouncing eagerly in her seat and looking forward to flying with her sisters, and Angelmaris in his booster seat in the back, wearing another cute dress and looking forward to playing with his pet dire wolf. The last few times, though, he hadn't been called here by a cryptic text from his nominal liege under the Unseelie Accords, which was how it had been phrased. This was an Official Request, with capitals, and it made him supremely nervous. He pulled to a stop in front of the house, helped Angelmaris out of the car, then wished that he had worn something more impressive than sweats and a tee. He had been told to come prepared to shift, though. He was most definitely getting in his quota for the month. Richard cleared his throat, straightened his clothing as best he could, and walked up the steps onto the porch before formally knocking on the frame of the front door. It was open, but it just felt like he needed to announce himself in some way, and ringing the bell didn't feel like the right way to do that.

"Enter, and be made welcome!" Svetlana called from somewhere inside.

It was a very formal welcome, but he had made a somewhat formal request by announcing himself, so it made sense. It also just made sense in general, considering who lived here. He had very little doubt that they'd be [i]well[/i] aware if someone that they didn't want to make welcome showed up on their property. Or probably within the whole campus area.

He cleared his throat again, feeling like he had something lodged there, and stepped inside. It seemed strangely empty and quiet. Every other time he had been there, constant noises filled the place, even at night. There were so many people who visited and passed through or stayed on the property that there always seemed to be someone somewhere inside the cozy home, but not this time. He did hear a soft humming and caught the scent of something cooking, so he followed his nose and his ears to the kitchen, where he found the blue-eyed valkyrie standing in front of the stove and stirring a large pot.

"Hey, Rich!" the wolf shifter greeted him. "Hope class is going well since you got back. Thanks for coming. Cy's upstairs in the study. It's the most protected room in the house. It's at the top, can't miss it. Knock exactly three times on the sigil at the center of the door."

"Um. Thanks. I'll, uh... just go up?"

"Yup! This should be done cooking by the time you're finished up there."

Since no further explanation was forthcoming, the hawk shifter had little choice but to do as he had been asked. So, he did just that. He was in pretty good shape, so that was almost certainly not the reason he was sweating by the time he reached the heavy wooden door that faced the third floor landing. His heart was pounding in his ears, and he made sure to wipe his hands on his sweats before knocking exactly three times on the strange rune that had been carved into the center of the door. It opened on its own, swinging inwards to reveal... a study. It looked pretty much like what he would have expected a place called that to look, with a desk at the far end, floor-to-ceiling bookshelves lining the walls, a few display stands ranged around with objects of interest or art atop them, and some couches and chairs sat grouped around small tables with yet more volumes, papers, and magazines strewn across them. Behind the desk was a large leather chair, and in that chair sat Cyrillion Bastion (and Richard had to choke off a laugh at the thought that Cy probably needed a booster seat to see over the top of the desk).

"Enter, Richard, and approach."

He did just that, but when he reached the front of the desk, he realized that he didn't actually know what to say on this kind of occasion, so he just went with, "You, uh... summoned me? What can I do for you?"

The diminutive half dragon let out a soft snort of amusement and grinned, losing the serious demeanor that he had held up until that point. "Relax, relax, I just wanted to ask a favor of you. It really is a favor, not a demand. A request, not an order. Drag a chair over if you'd like. There's someone I'd like you to meet. Alan, come on over!"

Richard was surprised. He was even more surprised when a young teen got up from one of the seating areas and trotted over, wearing sweats and a tee-shirt though without shoes. Richard surreptitiously attempted to kick off his sneakers without bending down to take them off properly, suddenly feeling stupid for not having left them by the front door. The young man went around the desk to stand beside Cyrillion, and the shifter immediately saw the resemblance. Alan was taller than the albino sorcerer by at least a foot, obviously taking more after Svetlana's side of the family, with silvery blonde hair that fell past his shoulders, elfin features, and a lanky, naturally athletic body. The boy gave the half dragon a quick hug before standing to face Richard from behind the desk with a hopeful smile.

"Richard, this is Alan, my grand... child. One of them. One of quite a large number, in fact, and, y'know, not directly my grandchild. There's a few extra grands in there, but I'm just grandpa to all of them." Cyrillion stalled out for a moment and cleared his throat. "Sorry for babbling. The [i]point[/i] is that Alan is a shifter, like yourself. Like Svetlana. But I wanted [i]you[/i] to help him... them through the first shift. Because you're the only shifter I know of that can do what you can do. Normally, we'd... well, there are spells and such to handle that kind of thing, but they tend to be rather costly. Changing an inherent part of yourself like that takes a toll, no matter how it's done. And..." Cy slapped a hand against his forehead, then cast a wincing, apologetic smile at his grandchild. "I meant... fuck, you know what I meant. I'm bungling this horribly..."

The hawk shifter, no matter how mangled the explanation, thought he got the point. "Alan is thinking that... they'd like to see what life is like on the other side? And because I managed to do a gender shift along with my form shift, you wanted to see if I could teach them to do it as well?"

"Yes! For the love of Tiamat's scaly arse, yes. Y'know, I've dealt with dozens and dozens of people who... For fuck's sake, I've got three trans people I personally know and care about and whom I see on a regular basis. I'm really sorry, Alan. You're just the first in the family, or at least the first that I know of. You're certainly the first to come to me about it. I mean, certainly, just about everyone with a lick of magic ends up practicing transformations at some point, and goes through all the variations, but that's all temporary. They always go back to being what... Damnit..."

Cy leaned forward to rest his head in his hands, elbows splayed on the desk, and the teen was far more amused than anything else. Alan reached out to rub the half dragon's back comfortingly, obviously trying to hold in a laugh, then spoke for the first time.

"Grandpa said you had figured out how to... well, do that when you shift, and since I'm a shifter, I thought maybe... They've got me on puberty blockers, and I've known since I was, like, eight, but, y'know, there's the whole therapy and all that you have to go through... I thought life might be a bit easier if I could skip a few steps. And he said that you came out looking just like you'd grown up a woman when you went back to human, so I figure that if it does turn out I'm wrong, then I can always go back. No harm, no foul. Hopefully."

"pi]Thank[/i] you, Alan..." Cy groaned through his palms.

"Yeah, honestly, I think that it's something we should really spread around the whole of the shifter community, if it turns out to be something that [i]can[/i] be taught to others, and for more reasons than just the one you have. But I will [i]most happily[/i] do my utmost to help you with this, I give you my word there."

Richard found himself grinning widely, not only at the chagrined peek that he caught Cy giving him. This was [i]exactly[/i] the kind of thing he wanted to do with his life: help people. On the one hand, he was helping someone to live their life in a way that would feel better and more natural to them. On the same hand, if he really could teach another shifter to do either a partial shift or a gender shift or both, then he was opening up new doors for the entire community. He hadn't ever [i]intended[/i] to make such an enormous impact, but it would at the very least earn him some serious good will, hopefully, and it might earn him some support when he needed it or a few favors from those in powerful positions. This was just about the best kind of favor that Cyrillion could have asked of him.

"Alright, I'd guess that we're going to do things here, so why don't we go get comfortable on the carpet, huh? Don't worry about clothes or anything. Cy can help us get untangled after." Alan grinned at him and hurried over to plop down in front of the desk, sitting cross-legged. Richard settled down facing the teen. "Okay, the first thing we need to do is hold a picture of our shifted form in mind. What's your shift?"

"It's a silver morph of the common red fox," Cyrillion supplied. "We checked, because it's a bit of a complicated situation. With draconic and lupine blood most of the way down the line, draconic blood being rather stronger and harder to dilute than you'd really think, and mixing in a vulpine shifter as a direct parent, we really needed to know. That's what it [i]should[/i] be, at least. At about an eight-three percent probability. There could also be a few variations, but that is the very most likely according to what we could determine."

Richard let out a snort. It was rather amusing to hear the normally verbose yet highly self-possessed half dragon having verbal diarrhea. He nodded his thanks and turned his attention back to the child in front of him.

"Okay, so, do you know what that looks like?"

Alan nodded excitedly. "Yeah, I've been looking at them ever since we found out. I've had dreams, too. Those are supposed to be common, right?"

"They are! That's really good! And do you feel like... a kind of cramping, burning sensation in you? A little like heartburn, if you know how that feels, but right in the middle of your chest?"

"Yeah! Mom said that's how you know the change is coming up. She said it's better to have someone walk you through the shift, but I've been... kinda terrified of it, because... well... Y'know... that's how you know you're becoming an adult and..."

Richard didn't know quite how Alan felt, but he could sympathize. "I get where you're coming from. How'd you know to ask about me, by the way?"

"You can blame grandpa for that. He's been asking everyone in the family if they knew anyone who'd ever done a half-shift or... the other thing, and so..."

"Well, that makes sense. Okay, so, again, you need to focus on the image of your shift. Picture it as clearly as you can. Go ahead and close your eyes. You'll be able to do it without that later, but it helps early on. Now, don't just [i]picture[/i] the fox. [i]Feel[/i] the fox. Imagine how its fur feels beneath your fingers. Think of... yeah, foxes are like dogs. Sorry. Think of the cold, wet nose. Think of the pads on the bottoms of its paws, the nails on its toes. Feel over every inch of it. Pet the fox. Stroke its ears. Along its tail. Down its legs. Over its belly, and along the back. Feel over every inch of it. Think you have the feel?"

Alan's face was scrunched in concentration, but they eventually nodded after a minute or two. Richard continued.

"Alright. So, now think of the smell. Uh... I don't know what foxes smell like."

Both of the Bastion's snorted. Cy supplied, "They stink, pretty much. Not [i]horribly[/i], but... they're rather pungent little beasts."

"Yeah, they are. My dad did a shift for me, and I really don't think I'm gonna forget that smell any time soon."

"Well, alright then. Um. Okay. You've got the image, the feeling, the smell, and I suspect that you know what they sound like. So now, what you need to do is... change your perspective. You need to put yourself [i]into[/i] the fox. Move your point of view in your mind so that you're looking through its eyes. See the snout stretching out in front of you. Feel the ears flicking on top of your head. Feel the tail swishing... or... wagging... Feel the tail behind you. Feel your paws, your pads, against the ground. You might want to get onto all fours, because we're getting close to it. It helped me a little to have someone petting me while I was trying to visualize this during my first shift, so I could kind of translate that sensation to feathers."

Alan did as he suggested, eyes still closed, and nodded. "Yeah, just... along my back, please. I think I'm getting it, but... Yeah, if you could do that it might help."

Richard shuffled closer and began to lightly stroke his hand along the teen's back, just barely brushing the fabric of their shirt. "Okay, just feel it stroking along your fur. Foxes have better hearing and smell than we do, so try and swivel your ears and sniff, pick up sounds and smells that you don't notice right now. Sink into those sensations. Feel it all."

It took a few minutes before Alan gave a hesitant nod, and Richard knew that the kid wasn't lying. He only barely prevented himself from jerking away when he felt a ripple travel through the flesh beneath the shirt, heard a soft gurgle, the grind of bone. It was close.

"Okay, here it comes," he hastened to add. "Now that tightness in your chest. It's a knot of magic, a loop. In a normal shift, you just... kind of tug at it, and it does what it does. That's not what [i]you[/i] need to do. You want to be female, I presume?" Alan nodded vigorously, letting out a soft groan and curling their fingers against the carpet as another ripple announced the impending shift. "Okay, you need to infuse that into the fox. The fox is female. That is an absolutely [i]inherent[/i] part of what it was. Being female is integral to the fox. And instead of tugging at the magic, you have to hold on tight. You have to guide it into making you into the female fox. The vixen. You [i]are[/i] the vixen."

And then it was happening. Richard continued to stroke, gently, lightly, as Alan grunted and let out a soft groan, bone grinding as some shortened and some lengthened, others reshaping entirely, new ones appearing as a few vanished. Muscle crawled and rippled, skin stretched and tightened, fur sprouting, nails blackening into claws, raw pink pads growing in to tip toes and fingers, the human form shrinking down as it became something else. Rich had fully intended to shift alongside Alan, but he had decided against it as he realized that he might well have to walk them back through to human. Within a few minutes, there was a heavily panting form lying flat inside the clothing, and he gently peeled the shirt away and sweats and underwear away, carefully disentangling the limbs and taking care to directly touch them only as much as absolutely necessary. The first shift could be far more stressful than most as the animal's instincts invaded and pressed in onto your human mind, growing easier to suppress and channel with each shift until you had mastered the form, usually within the first year or two.

But, surprisingly, he didn't find the black and silver vulpine form doing what he would have expected, even after it had lain resting for several minutes. Instead of sniffing around curiously or running for a hidey hole or freaking out and attacking, it just lay there, trembling, ears tucked tightly against its skull, tail curling up to tuck tightly against its rump, soft whimpers sounding as it became more aware of itself.

"Alan, can you hear me?" he asked, speaking softly. "Are you there?"

There came an equally soft yip in answer. And it suddenly dawned on him what the problem was, what the [i]fear[/i] was. He cleared his throat and reached out to lightly stroke against the fox's tail.

"I know you're afraid, and you're not sure what you should feel like if it worked. Do you want me to, uh... take a peek?"

The tip of the fluffy tail gave a flip and a long whine sounded, the fox visibly trembling even harder.

"Okay, I'm going to lift up your tail, so... please don't bite?"

Alan let out another soft yap. Gently, the hawk shifter raised the tail until he could peer beneath it. And, honestly, he wasn't sure what a girl fox was supposed to look like down there. But he had a good idea of what a boy fox was supposed to look like, and it wasn't that.

"I think you did it."

The tail whipped out of his hand as Alan curled in on herself, one leg lifted, nose snuffling at her groin, happy whimpers sounding and growing louder with each repetition, until the fox suddenly burst into motion, racing around the room, leaping on to furniture, jumping back towards the center of the room, letting out a cackle like childish laughter interspersed with a repetition clicking sound. And, yeah, the vixen stunk a bit, but Richard didn't really care. He was grinning so hard that his cheeks hurt.

She danced. She jumped and twisted and pounced and raced. She skittered and burrowed, though it just bunched up parts of the various rugs that covered the study's hardwood floor. Eventually she came to rest in a panting splay, gasping in heavy gulps of air while huffing out various vulpine sounds, exhausted and somewhat confused. [i]That[/i] was something far closer to what Richard knew to expect, far closer to his own experience, though she probably wouldn't have to worry about shed feathers all over the place. Carefully, cautiously, Richard rocked his way across the floor in cross-legged position, mostly using his hands to propel himself. He was greeted with an open maw and a huddled, aggressively frightened fox, but he stopped when she made it plain that he was not welcome to move closer.

"Alan...?" he said, trying to coax the human mind out again. "Alan, are you there?"

It was always a fight the first time. He had seen it in a few different variations (five to be exact), and he didn't actually recall how his own had gone. No shifter ever did, but everyone always talked after. Richard himself had, apparently, bit at his own scaled leg until it had nearly broken off, which was just, plain horrifying. He didn't want anything like that for this child, this person who had been born in the wrong body, this girl who had finally gotten what she wanted. So he was slow, and he was very gentle, calmly stretching out his hand in as glacial a manner as human musculature and nerves would allow. Occasionally the fox would let out a swift series of clicking yaps, jerking and gaping its jaws at him, but he just held still for as long as he could while it did that. Then he started moving again.

Eventually, despite the clicks and clacks and snaps and cackles, he had his hand pressed against her side. And not just against it, but slowly sinking against the thick, soft fur. He did what his own mother had done, not really knowing what else to do, and hummed while gently curling his fingers against the vixen that his liege's grandchild had become. Again, it took time, several minutes, but he eventually felt a light snuffle against his wrist, heard a light whine, felt a lick across his skin.

Richard opened eyes that he hadn't realized were shut and peered down, saying, "Are you ready to come back to us?"

The fox let out a chirr-yap-bark, a very adamant sound, and he took that as an affirmative.

"Okay. Alan... I don't know what you'd prefer to be, or who, but you have to picture that [i]human[/i] form now. You have to be [i]human[/i] now. As simple as that mind is, as simple as that life could be... would you be happy like that? You have family here, a life here, and you have to come back to it. So remember what it feels like to be human, remember how my hand would feel touching your skin, remember your own hands, your feet. What helped me was thinking about going through my morning routine when I woke up, going to the bathroom, taking a shower, brushing my teeth, getting dressed. This time, though, once you have everything firm in your mind, just give the magic a little tug and let it go. You want it to do what it's supposed to this time around, just shift you between forms. Take your time and make sure that you have your human self firmly in mind, then give it a go."

He could feel the fox beginning to tremble, and he was pretty sure as to why. She was afraid that either it wouldn't work or that it wouldn't work the way that she wanted it to. He resumed humming, soft and soothing, and lightly stroked along the vixen's back. In due time, he felt the ripple of flesh that told him the shift was beginning. He moved away to gather up Alan's clothing, sitting down again with his back facing the writhing, shifting form so that he could set them in a pile behind him. Soon enough, the panting sounds had taken on a much more human tone, accompanied by groans and the sound of a growling stomach. Then came a gasp and a cheer and a happy squeal.

"Uh, Alan, mind getting dressed?" he said with a chuckle. "Then we can celebrate while we get something to eat, huh?"

"Oh, right," came the slightly chastened response. "And, uh... could... could you call me Elaine from now on?"

"Of course, Elaine."

"[i]Thank[/i] you." There was a sigh of such unimaginable relief that it was very nearly a physical force radiating against his back. "Good god, you have no idea how long I've wanted this... Thank you so much."

He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to find himself pulled into a tight embrace. Elaine slid into his lap, holding him as tightly as she could, shuddering slightly as tears ran down her cheeks. He held the girl, rubbing her back, and waited it out. The hawk shifter felt even more strongly that this was something he needed to spread through the shifter community, because he was sure there were others like Elaine who would find relief in the ability. Cyrillion joined them, sitting on the floor beside Rich and petting at his granddaughter.

"I owe you one, Richard," the half dragon said, and the human was surprised by the seriousness of the sorcerer's tone. "Oh, yes, I mean that exactly like it sounds. While this is a problem that [i]could[/i] have been solved in other ways, it is one that would have taken far longer than Al... [i]Elaine[/i] would have liked. From those I've spoken with on the issue, going through puberty tends to be a rather traumatic experience for transgender individuals, and I am very, [i]very[/i] happy to spare anyone in my family whatever pain that I can. So I owe you one, Richard, any favor of equivalent value, anything within my power. You've given my granddaughter her life, so there's quite a lot that it would take to amount up to equivalent value."

"Thank you, grandpa," Elaine said, sniffling, and shifted over to hug Cy instead, which was highly amusing considering that she pulled the diminutive half dragon into her lap instead of doing things the other way around. "You're the best grandpa ever."

The albino mage flushed a cherry red with embarrassment but grinned widely. "I'm alright. The Bastion stands strong for all who stand within its embrace, after all."

"And those who stand within the Bastion lend their support and strength so that it can continue to do so."

It had the sound of a family motto, and the hawk shifter found it to be an interesting one. And he also felt like he was intruding on a family moment, so he cleared his throat and pushed himself up to his feet.

"Shall I go let Svetlana know that you'll be down in a few?"

"Oh, god, no, I'm [i]starving[/i]!" Elaine cried.

Cyrillion let out a yelp as he was ejected from the girl's lap so that she could rush out of the study and clamber noisily down the stairs. Rich laughed and leaned down to help Cy back to his feet. The half dragon dusted himself off, straightened his clothing, and finger-combed his hair back into place with fussy primness before making a gesture for Rich to lead the way out of the study and back downstairs.

"One of these days, I really ought to look into making myself a few feet taller..." the half dragon grumbled, and the hawk shifter bit off a laugh. "But, very seriously, Richard. Keep that favor in mind. It's a rather valuable commodity, and having that in your pocket might well come in handy considering the company you keep."

"Uh... you mean Angelmaris?"

"No, I mean Crimson." The half dragon was very clearly being sarcastic. "Fae like him have a tendency to make enemies far more often than friends. Someone will eventually come looking for him. I won't exactly be [i]happy[/i] if you trade my favor to someone else, so please only do so as a last resort, but just remember that you have it."

Richard nodded and fell silent as they descended towards the kitchen, considering. Cyrillion didn't often get all ominous and foreshadowy, so it seemed like he should probably start taking some precautions...

[center][b]The End[/b][/center]

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