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My name is Tobias. By now you all know my last name. Yes, I'm that Tobias, the "Animorph."

Jake had us all record our thoughts in journals, just in case the Yeerks killed us all. Our parents would find the journals, and maybe publish them, or something. Now that the war is won, and Earth is free from Yeerk control, we released all the journals written over the years. You can find them online.

Or what you thought was all of them. But there are more, many more, that we didn't release. Here and there, each of us skimmed over things that happened, things that were far too real. But I'm here to fix the record.

Jake asked to cut out a major part of this journal. This is the full entry, with the parts already public in italics. This takes place while Jake has assumed control of his dog Homer for the second time, this time to scout a secret meeting of the Yeerks along the beach.

Chapter 15

"It could have been anyone," Tom said. "But it might be the one who's my brother, Jake. I know he goes through the construction site sometimes. That's why I brought him here tonight. So we could either make him ours...or kill him."

I felt like someone had punched me.

I told myself that Tom was a Human-Controller. Some slimy, snotty slug from another planet was in his brain controlling him. When he talked to me it wasn't even Tom, not really. It was a Yeerk.

My brother...one of them. Chapman...one of them.

They were everywhere. Everywhere! How were we going to stop them? How could we even try? If they could take my own brother from me, if they could take Tom, then how was I going to be able to stop them? It was insane. Marco was right.

I think if I had been fully human right then, despair would have just overpowered me. But dogs don't know about despair. It was Homer's simple, happy, hopeful mind that saved me. For a while I just sort of let go and drifted into dog consciousness. I didn't want to think. I didn't want to be a human being. For a while I just wandered around the dunes and smelled things.

Well, particular things. For the first minute or two of letting Homer run things, I simply chased small animals. I saw a crab once, but it was so weird I just stared at it intently, and when it moved, I skittered away. The whole time I played, trying not to think of anything important, I was just on the outskirts of the meeting. The human controllers could see me, but all they saw was a dog. But Tom would recognize me - I just wasn't thinking. If he looked over, I was dead meat!

But it was Homer in control, and he didn't know or care about the Yeerks. But he did care about the newest arrival to the beach. Sniffing the air, I smelled something peculiar. I knew I had smelled it before, somewhere in that dog brain, but I had never reacted to that smell like this before. I had to find it. With Homer's powerful nose, it was no time before I saw her.

There was a cream-colored Labrador mix walking the beach, her tail wagging lazily. She was walking almost suspiciously close to the Yeerk meeting, just like he was. Was it Cassie? I suddenly realized that I must have been gone for a while now. Surely the others would be worried and want to investigate.

Cassie had said she only had a horse morph, and I'd never seen this dog before. But maybe they had found the dog walking the beach and acquired her. That could be really dangerous, trying to control a dog morph for the first time. I knew how easy it was to get lost in their instincts!

The danger of the situation returned full force into my head. I was only twenty feet from brain-sucking aliens intent on killing me! And I had been all but ignoring what they were saying. Reluctantly, I took control of Homer again. I had a responsibility to my friends.

Or I tried to! As much as I wanted to lay low and listen to the Yeerks to gather as much information as I could, I started to walk over to the mutt. Though I couldn't control Homer's body, I could hear the meeting. Well, that might be for the best. If I let Homer move around, I would be a lot less suspicious. I'd just be a normal dog wandering the beach.

When I reached the Labrador, I tried talking to her. <Cassie?>

I got no response. If it was one of my friends, they weren't in control of the mutt's instincts yet. I guess that's no surprise, I was barely in control of Homer.

I walked around the dog, sniffing. The smell that had brought me here was more noticeable than ever. It definitely belonged to her. I was distracted by listening to Chapman bark orders to his slugs, so I didn't realize what was happening until my muzzle was up under her tail. I was sniffing her butt!

No, not her butt. Lower. Out of the fur rose a little mound of pink flesh, and as hard as I tried to pull away, I couldn't stop Homer from pushing his nose against it and inhaling deeply. What was I doing!? <Cassie? Rachel? Is that you?> I tried, but again I got no response.

God I hoped it wasn't! I wanted to back off, but that smell, it was so good. I took another deep breath. The mutt didn't seem to mind. She even held her tail out of the way. Then I felt something I hadn't been expecting, something wet between my legs. I turned to look. It was her...her nose was pressed up against my crotch!

I didn't know what to do. At least I heard some good news for once. Chapman had just said they weren't going to kill anyone at the Sharing. They wanted to make sure they had the right kids. It was a relief, but I had bigger things to worry about now. Not only did I have no idea if this dog were Cassie, struggling as hard with her instincts as I struggled with mine, but some of the Yeerks at the meeting were starting to take notice of us.

I spun away from her inquisitive sniffs, but when I tried to leave, I couldn't. She just smelled too good. Again I pushed my nose up against the triangular nub between her legs. It must have been the source of the smell. I had never been more embarrassed in my life.

But I was quickly more embarrassed. The Labrador mix stood in front of me quietly as I sniffed her, and I even gave her a lick. As if that weren't bad enough, I rested a paw on her back. When she didn't turn away, I leapt! Pinning her around her waist, I had mounted her. We were near the back of the meeting, and now at least seven people were watching us with interest.

<Cassie! Is that you? I can't control my instincts!>

Still I got no response. But Homer didn't care. I had a beautiful female in my grasp. Against all my efforts, the wonderful smell proved too much. I began thrusting my hips against her.

A thousand thoughts went through my mind. I didn't want my first time to be with a dog, and I especially didn't want it to be with Cassie...not like this anyway. Or...what if it were Tobias? Or Marco? Oh, God, what if she were Rachel? Now a dozen people with Yeerks in their heads were watching us. They'd probably think nothing was out of the ordinary, but that didn't make me feel any less in the spotlight. And if Tom noticed us, we were dead!

Why had the Andalite giving us this technology? There was no way to control it! My hips were moving back and forth like a metronome - that thing that keeps tempo when my mom plays the piano. I could feel myself against her, my most sensitive part touching hers. She just stood beneath me, panting.

I looked down, and realized that for all my effort, I was still pushing into the air. I was glistening red between my legs like the first time I had been Homer, and I kept colliding with the mutt's soft, furless mound, but I didn't push inside of her. I still had a chance to get out of this with at least some dignity. And if she were Cassie, well...that would be awkward. I didn't want to think about the possibility that she was one of the others.

I had to pull myself off of her. I concentrated on the danger I was in. I tried to think about my friends and how much they needed me. But I kept coming back to how much the Labrador mix needed me. I couldn't stop Homer from trying to thrust into her. Thank goodness he was so inexperienced. He couldn't aim quite right.

I was getting desperate now...not to escape, but to hit home inside the cream-colored mutt. At least twenty Human-Controllers were watching us now. Some were cheering me on. I prayed that Tom didn't notice the ruckus! I was beginning to tingle down there, like before, and I have to admit, it wasn't just Homer that wanted her. I knew why Homer was having difficulty. He wasn't far enough up on her. I began to pull myself further up, getting ready.

I could hear Tom now, but he wasn't looking at us. Tom discussing with some other guy - some other Controller - the schedule for going to the Yeerk pool. He'd just been and was feeling good, he said. He'd be heading back on Monday night.

That was the slug in his head talking. The Yeerk that controlled Tom needed to return to the Yeerk pool.

Then I heard another voice. Cassie!

I was startled to hear her voice. It wasn't in my head either, so this dog wasn't her. Was it one of the others? My heart almost stopped, but the intensity of my shock made me lose control. I howled, which was perhaps the worst thing I could have done, with Tom in listening distance. But I didn't care...I was in ecstasy. I could feel myself clenching between my legs, and I heard splashing. Oh God, was I in her? I looked down. I wasn't! I panted in relief. I was lucky this time. I just made her underside a little damp. I don't know if I could have lived it down if my first time had been with a canine, especially if she were one of my friends. Or my cousin...

When I was done with her, I knew I had to get out of there. I looked around, fully in control again. Homer just wanted to lie down and pant. There were a couple of congratulations from the Yeerks. I scanned the crowd but I didn't seen Tom. Looking back the way I had come, I saw Cassie though. Had she seen me? Oh God...

She was talking to someone - maybe she had been too distracted to see me. I recognized him, though.

It was the policeman. The same policeman.

"Hey, what are you doing back here?" the policeman demanded.

"I was just looking for shells," Cassie said.

"This is just for full members," the policeman said gruffly. "Private business. You

understand?"

"Yes, sir," Cassie said in her most humble voice.

I could see them, although I have to tell you, dog sight is not exactly great. Everything is like an old TV with bad color and all blurry.

The policeman was staring hard at Cassie. Cassie was trying to be brave, but I could smell

the fact that she was afraid.

"Okay, take off," the policeman said at last. "But I have my eye on you. Get back with the

others."

Cassie turned and headed away as fast as she could walk. I caught up with her. I guess seeing

a dog come bounding out of nowhere startled her, because she jumped.

"Oh, it's you," she said.

<Yeah. That was close. What were you doing there?>

She shrugged. "Just wanted to make sure you were okay."

<I was safer than you were,> I pointed out. <Did...did you see anything?>

She said, "No, the policeman kept standing in front of me. Did you find anything interesting?"

I couldn't help but wonder if her question were pointed. Had she seen me with that mutt? I had howled...maybe she had glimpsed me then, when the policeman was distracted. Lucky thing I was a dog, or she would have seen the fiercest blush she'd ever seen. I swallowed, and said carefully, <Let's wait until we get back to the others.>

They were there, all three of them. Rachel, Marco, and Tobias. My tail wagged in relief. If Cassie hadn't seen me, then no one would have to know what had really happened. I just prayed to God she hadn't seen anything...