X. Work it

Tuesday morning. Today would be the first day Rowan spent mostly alone in the house. It felt uneasy for him, as he still subconsciously considered himself a guest. Having to sleep on the couch in the living room was not exactly constructive on that part either. In contrast to the past weekend, only the front door would be locked. Rowan could bar the back door from the inside, if necessary. He had not planned to spend much time inside the house, however. One by one, he carried the cleaning equipment to the worn shed.

Before he started doing anything, he taped a garbage bag over the inside of the broken window, in an attempt to keep any rain out until it would be replaced. He first brushed the old tool rack and the surface of the workbench clean. Then came the floor, at least the dry part he could sweep. While cleaning under the workbench, Rowan found an old screwdriver he figured the previous owners had left behind.

Now that he had the right tool for the job, the first thing he fixed was the door, which creaked, and got stuck if it was opened too wide. The door turned out to be hung crookedly, which proved quite a challenge to fix. Biting his lower lip in pain, Rowan stood on both paws and lifted the door from its hinges. A simple correction later, he hung it back. This time, the door opened and closed smoothly, and hardly made a sound.

Hours passed, and when he had finished mopping the floor and cleaning the mud, Rowan finally allowed himself a break. It was not until that moment that he noticed he had not paid attention to his bodily needs at all. His mouth was dry, his stomach growled, and he felt an urgent need to pee.

One of those three is solved easily, he thought, and he focused on his bladder. A few deep breaths later, he felt the front of his diaper grow warm and damp as the torrent of his full bladder was absorbed by the padding.

After lunch, Rowan discovered the light and the electric sockets were not working. He soon noticed the broken window had let in rainwater, which in turn had caused a short-circuit somewhere along the way. He checked the fuse box in the house, which told him the electrics in the shed had indeed been switched off. Since everything was dry now, he decided to just try and turn the group on again. The switch stayed on, even after he turned the lights on.

With the electricity working again, and the tile floor swept and mopped, Rowan felt satisfied. The place was probably cleaner than it had been in years. Now the workspace was tidy, the rabbit started thinking. He began pacing through the room, pondering what he would build once he had the tools. Walking back and forth, he estimated the size of the room. With each step, he felt the bulk of his wet diaper between his legs. He enjoyed the soft crinkling noise the plastic outside of the diaper made.

As he pondered this simple joy, an idea hit him. He made his way back to the house and searched for paper, a pencil, and a ruler. Sitting at the dinner table, he began sketching his project. He had to guess some parts, but it would not be hard to improvise where needed. Rowan had to start over a couple of times before he had finally drawn a blueprint he was satisfied with. The piece of furniture he was planning to build had to be sturdy without being bulky, but also built in such a way that it could be taken apart and moved.

He went over the measurements of all the pieces he would have to saw, counted each screw and considered every joint. Even a paint job was part of the calculation - after all, it would be a shame if there was still wood to cover when the paint ran out.

'The girls have done so much for me, time to do something in return,' he said to himself. 'Something big.'

Rowan looked around the living room and pondered for a moment. The blueprints had to be stored somewhere the mares wouldn't look. His project had to be a surprise for as long as possible, after all. He then remembered the workbench had a drawer, and decided he should just put the blueprints in there, and ask the mares to stay out of the shed altogether.

Dusk came early this time of year. The sun had already begun setting when Celester and Stella arrived home. Rowan had just about finished preparing dinner when his rabbit ears picked up the sounds of the front door opening. The mares eagerly joined him at the table, drawn by the scent of fresh vegetable stew. They did not need any encouragement to dig in.

'Jessie came by my office today,' Stella said between bites.

'Let me guess, she asked when she could come over to play?'

Stella giggled.

'Wait a second, what is it that you do for a living again?' Rowan asked, tilting his head.

'I'm a chiropractor. I get paid to crack people's backs, basically.'

'Okay, but who is Jessie? One of your clients?'

'Uh-huh. When she visited me for her first treatment, I asked her to take her shirt off. I can't properly feel where the problem areas are if my client is still wearing clothes. However, what I assumed was a plain dark green shirt, turned out to be a onesie. Jessie was super embarrassed when she unsnapped it, revealing the equally plain medical diaper she wore underneath. To put her at ease, I casually said she didn't have to be ashamed, because I wore the same brand.'

'It makes some sense now, but you said something about coming over to play. Is she a little girl like you?'

'Jessie is an adorable fawn, and her husband is one of the kindest people we've ever had the pleasure of meeting,' Celester explained.

'How did you discover she likes to play fawn? I mean, you're a professional treating a client. It doesn't seem to me like infantilism is a subject that would come up in casual conversation, does it?'

'Not really, no' Stella laughed. 'One day, she had accidentally forgotten to change into a medical diaper. The one she was wearing was clearly designed for "enthusiasts" like me. Let's say that quickly led to a "wait, you too?"-moment.'

'Wasn't that super awkward for both of you?'

'Only for a few moments. I decided to keep things professional, as she came for treatment and not for socializing. Instead, I once again told her I wear the same brand at home, and invited her for a drink at our favorite lunchroom. During that first meeting, we discovered we had a lot in common. Both as adults and as little girls, I mean.'

'So when my little filly came home and told me about this fawn she met, I wanted to meet her and see if she was as adorable as I hoped. Her husband Thabo invited us over for dinner, and we had a great time. They even know I'm a unicorn.'

'Wow, that's... Special, I guess?'

'It sure is. You don't often meet people you have such synergy with, let alone that I can trust them with both of our secrets.'

'It really is a gift that we met them. But um, Mommy?'

'What is it, filly?'

'Can Jessie come over to play?' Stella asked in her filly voice.

Celester smiled. 'Only if Rowan feels comfortable.'

'We don't have to be little if you're uncomfortable with that. Like I said, we're friends as adults as well, so if none of us engage in our respective dynamics, we won't be bored either.'

Rowan remained silent for a while. 'I don't know. I mean... I guess I'm kinda comfortable being diapered around you girls, but I... I just don't know.'

'I think it's best for everyone to just remain their grown-up self for the first meeting,' Celester said. 'I'll give Thabo a call and pick a date.'

'Yay!' Stella said, quickly clapping her hands a few times.

'On a completely different note,' the unicorn continued, turning to Rowan. 'I declared your current ID void today. Should Azalea still have it, she won't be able to use it anymore.'

'Thanks. But that means I don't have an ID now. Can I apply for a new one or something?'

'We'll take care of that next week. You probably won't need it before then anyway.'

Rowan shrugged. 'Sounds fine to me.'

'Good. Also, like I announced earlier, I've asked around my colleagues at the Department of Social Services. They gave me the phone number of an otter lady who specializes in childhood trauma and domestic abuse.'

'That sounds promising.'

'I already called her and summarized what I assume you might need therapy for. She told me you can see her yourself, next Monday at ten, for an intake. She lives in the northern part of Hornet City, so I'll just drop you off, run some errands, and then pick you up again. Does that sound like a plan?'

Rowan swallowed, in an attempt to clear the lump in his throat.

'Thanks, Cel. That means so much to me.'

'But wait, there is more,' Celester said, doing her best and most annoying impression of an infomercial host.

'Say what?'

'I had lunch with our archive manager Farzana today. She told me that upper management wants her to digitize basically everything in the archive. That sounds easy, but it's much more of a challenge in practice. There are a few documents in the back of the archive that date over a century back. Some might be worthy for the local museum. Most of the documents must be destroyed after digitizing, but the more recent ones must be kept. Something about laws on privacy and information that I'm not going to bore you with.'

'What does that have to do with me?' Rowan asked, tilting his head.

'Well, I figured since you did such a great job with our bookcase and kitchen, maybe an archive is a nice challenge? If Farzana has to do this all by herself, we won't see her again before the end of next year. It's a relatively easy job, so I suggested she ask for an assistant. She said no interns are available at this time of the year, and it won't be that educational either. Then I told her I know a guy that might be able to help out.'

Rowan's ears perked up.

'Wait, you have a job for me?'

Celester nodded. 'The work will be inside, and you'll be Farzana's assistant, so you won't get overwhelmed by having to meet a bunch of new people. She's happy with any help she can get, so you can carpool with me and help her out on my workdays. We can even have lunch breaks together.'

'Sounds good.'

'And...' Celester said, drawing out the word, slowly leaning closer to Rowan. 'A certain little rabbit can keep wearing diapers at this job.'

His ears flopped as he looked down.

'There are two things you need to consider, however. First, when we're at work, I'm your co-worker. That means we're both adults, and we behave as such. It also means you'll have to change your own diapers.'

Rowan nodded, then made eye contact again.

'The other thing is Farzana. I don't know if you have a problem with this, but she's a fennec fox. She's only five feet tall and an absolute dear of a vixen, so I assumed you wouldn't feel intimidated by her.'

He pondered for a while.

'I don't think it'll be a big deal. She won't be towering over me, and fennecs are calm inside people like us rabbits. Perhaps we'll get along just fine.'

'Farzana is highly agreeable, and she'll be grateful for your help. The pay won't be _much_more than minimum wage, but it'll be enough for you to meaningfully contribute to our household, pay for therapy, and have some money left to save up.'

'It's almost too good to be true,' Rowan thought out loud.

'Maybe it seems so, but sometimes, things just happen to line up in life.'

'Perhaps they do. Usually not in my benefit, speaking from experience.'

Celester sighed. 'I'm sorry for you, Rowan. It must be hard to expect bad things without turning bitter.'

'It is,' he said, staring out the window. 'Some days, it's damn near impossible.'

A short silence followed.

'I'm confused,' Celester said carefully. 'Did I do something wrong?'

Rowan slowly shook his head. 'No. It's just in moments like these that I expect to wake up anytime, back in that small stinking room, with a collar 'round my neck and my bits in a steel cage.'

'Is that what you meant with "too good to be true"? Do you have a hard time believing that a couple of good things happen to you?'

'After years of dialing down my expectations to an acceptable level of disappointment? Yeah, pretty much. It's hard to believe all this is happening, and even harder to picture myself in a place where I won't go and screw something up big time at the first possible moment.'

The mares remained silent for a few seconds.

'Should you, at any moment, doubt yourself or feel like what you just said, could you please tell us? Maybe we can't do anything about it, but I think it's best for you not to suffer alone and in silence,' Stella said.

'Well said,' Celester agreed. 'And no matter how hard you try, failure will always be a part of life. In this house, however, that's okay. You're safe with us, Rowan. We won't reject you for a simple mistake. We just reconcile and carry on.'

'Th-thanks,' was all he could utter.

'That's what friends are for,' Stella said in her filly voice.

The next morning, Celester drove to work. Rowan sat in the passenger seat, lost in thoughts. His mind told him to be calm, because he was going to do something he would probably be good at. His heart, however, told him to be afraid of Farzana, of failure, and of disappointing Celester. He tightly clutched the messenger bag that contained his water bottle, wipes, and a few spare diapers. Celester had made him change his own diapers the day before, so he would get used to it. He would have to take care of himself at work, after all.

Maybe he worried about that as well. How would Farzana respond to her new assistant still wearing diapers? Had Celester told her? Did she know about Stella? Would it be weird? His train of thought got derailed when he felt the car stop, reverse and turn, then stop again.

'We're here,' Celester declared. 'Are you nervous?'

'I-is it obvious?'

'Even without a horn, yes. Don't worry, though. She's not going to eat you. Everything will be alright.'

He took a deep breath. 'Alright, let's do this.'

Rowan opened the passenger door and got out of the car. The fur on his ears stood up as the cool morning air hit his face. Celester suddenly stood beside him, holding his crutch and his diaper bag. He slung the bag over his shoulder and followed the unicorn inside. Celester casually greeted the receptionist, and asked if Farzana was already present.

The vixen had arrived a few minutes earlier, so they could continue straight to her office. Celester carefully helped Rowan down the stairs, to the basement. They ended up in a short hallway with an elevator and two doors. One door bore a sign that indicated it was a storage room for cleaning equipment, the other read Archive. Celester knocked a few times, then slowly opened the door.

'Celester? Come in!' a friendly voice invited.

They entered the small office, which was no bigger than twenty feet long nor wide. Near the ceiling were a few low but wide windows that let in the morning sun. In the far corner of the room, behind a desk, sat a fennec fox in her mid-forties. Two other corners were taken by fairly large potted plants, in which desert roses grew in coarse sandy soil.

'You must be Rowan,' Farzana said, extending her hand.

He shook her hand somewhat awkwardly, as he was still leaning on the crutch.

'Have a seat,' she invited, pointing at the only other chair in the room. 'Sorry for the lack of hospitality, Celester, but I can't spare the room for more chairs.'

'No problem. Is there anything you need to know besides what I already told you about Rowan?'

'The basic stuff the guys from HR will want to know. Name, date of birth, address, bank account number, you know the works.'

'I'll fill in a form and send it to you later this morning. We haven't gotten around setting up a new bank account yet, as he doesn't have a new ID yet. I'll just put my own account for now, and we'll change that as soon as we can.'

Farzana nodded. 'Good. The contract itself is fairly standard. It's for a six month period, but I'll let you know a few weeks in advance whether we'll renew the contract.'

'O-okay,' Rowan stuttered. 'Is there anything I need to do or know before I can work here?'

'That depends. Do you have a criminal record?'

'Um, no?'

'Good. Then all you need to do is sign the contract and a non-disclosure agreement.'

'Sorry, come again?'

'The NDA is purely because you'll be continuously handling documents with personal information. It's merely a formality,' she explained, sliding a sheet of paper and a pen towards Rowan.

As he began reading the agreement, his breathing and heart rate increased. He paid no mind to these changes, however. His full attention was caught by the words on the paper, and how the letters began dancing and shifting as he read them. His head throbbed, and he began feeling dizzy. As Rowan reached for the pen, he felt a stinging sensation at the sides of his neck. He wanted to gently rub those spots to ease the feeling, but his body refused. He could not move, as if he was frozen solid.

Somewhere in the distance, he heard a familiar voice call out to him. The voice sounded strange and muffled, however, as if the words were spoken underwater. He even felt water flowing around his waist. Seconds felt like minutes, while his body still did not respond. Finally, he clearly discerned Celester's voice.

'Rowan, it's me, Celester. We think you're having a panic attack, but don't worry. You'll get out of this. We're here for you, and you're in a safe place. I'm holding both your hands now. Can you squeeze either of them if you heard me?'

With all his might, he managed to convince his left hand to squeeze hers. He probably did not put much pressure on Celester's hand, as he did not feel her flinch.

'Can you squeeze my hand twice if you can see anything?'

His gaze was still transfixed on the contract, but he was unsure whether what he saw was real. He squeezed her hand twice in succession, hoping his eyes were not deceiving him.

Suddenly, he saw a hand in front of him, covered in jet black fur. There was a gold ring on one finger.

'Can you count my fingers? Squeeze every time as I count to five.'

He followed her as she counted. Slowly, his vision grew less blurry and his hearing became clearer.

'Do you think you can speak now?' Celester asked kindly.

'Y-yes,' he managed to whisper.

'Can you count four things you feel with your body? Name them for me.'

'Your hand. Chair. Table. Floor.'

'Good job, Rowan. What three things do you hear?'

'You. Airco fans. Cars passing... outside.'

'Very good. Do you smell anything? Two things maybe?'

He remained silent for a few seconds.

'Flowers. I don't know them, but there's two plants here.'

He blinked a few times, then firmly shook his head. Celester gently pulled him into an embrace.

'Are you okay?' she asked softly. 'How do you feel?'

Suddenly, Rowan realized what had happened. He knew rabbits were more prone to having panic attacks, but he had not experienced one in years. Subconsciously, he had thought of such a state as something only children experienced. Tears welled up in his eyes, but he managed to keep them at bay.

He put his arm around her and took a deep breath.

'The NDA... It reminded me of Azalea's contract. I felt the shock again, and I guess that's where I zoned out.'

'But you're back again, and that's what matters most.'

'I'm so sorry for startling you, dear,' Farzana said calmly. It was not until now that Rowan noticed her pointy ears were even larger than his own. They appeared to communicate in the same manner, however. He would need a while to learn what her tail could tell him, but luckily, her face told him all he needed to know. She breathed kindness and compassion. Just like Celester, there was something about Farzana Rowan wished his own mother would have had.

'Is there anything I can do?' she continued.

He shook his head. 'It's not your fault. The last contract I signed was... Let's say it drastically changed my life, and very negatively so. Seeing the clauses about what would happen to me if I broke the NDA... I guess it triggered memories of when I signed that other contract.'

'We've already found a professional to help Rowan deal with this issue. He'll be in good hands,' Celester said.

Farzana sighed in relief. 'That's good to hear. I'm sorry for being upfront, though, but we do need your signature. Should we try again later, maybe?'

Rowan resolutely grabbed the pen and, without reading the agreement again, signed at the bottom. He then turned the page upside down and slid it back towards Farzana.

'There. Let's not make this more complicated than necessary,' he said with a smile.

'Very well,' Farzana said, getting up and extending her hand. 'Welcome to the club, Rowan.'

He got on his paws as well, to answer her non-verbal invitation. His ears perked up to listen for any crinkling noise. As he leaned forward a bit to shake Farzana's hand, his attention was caught by a different aspect of his diaper, however.

It felt warm. And squishy.