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"You're leaving?"

The words left my lips before my brain was even allowed to catch up with my mouth. It was a brisk Tuesday evening in early spring, winter having just ended her song yet leaving behind little notes of cold, as if the following season continued to read her accidentals. The sun was gently setting in the horizon as the mixture of purples and blues danced on the edges of the horizon, the stars gently twinkling awake as they took their rightful place in the sky. I felt my hands clench together, as if a brief wave of anger washed over them, but when I looked down, the brown, white spotted fur stood on edge as the appendages twitched about, fueled by dread. It was as if I was gazing down the maw of a carnivore ready to devour me in a lost sense of rage, yet instead my instincts only reacted to my nerves. A feeling of fear from deep in my core, sending out shocks to my tall yet slender frame. My blood felt cold, even as it ran from my toes secured firmly in a pair of winter boots, all the way up to the velvet clad stumps of my horns growing into place.

"Ren, don't make this any harder than it has to be. . ."

Hearing that name only furthered my anxiety. From any other creature, it would seem normal. That was my name after all. Yet, hearing it from whom I would consider my lifelong companion was like a dagger, swimming through my ears and past my brain, opting to instead slide deep into my heart. My tail ceased any motion, practically shriveling up between my legs, hiding itself. For as long as I had known Louis, he never referred to me by my name unless we were at odds with each other, instead opting to call me by my childhood nickname: Renny.

Louis was a lionhead rabbit, his almost golden fur sticking out like a mane, hence the name. He stood a head shorter than I, my height at a solid six feet, and his own reaching around five feet and eight inches. Normally when I looked down at him, his hazel eyes would search deep into my bright ocean blue. However, this time I was only met with the soft lapin atop his head, his ears bent downwards. To anyone else this could be due to any number of reasons. Not to me. I could see the subtle twitch from his left ear, the way his hands stood flatly at his side, with one resting on the handle of a suitcase I only took notice of now, with clothes bulging out of the sides. Louis was hiding the truth from me.

"No, this was made difficult when you left without so much as a note." I said, my voice rising as the heat of anger only provided fuel to the furnace of my speech. "Where are you going? You know we promised not to keep secrets from one another!"

"That was a dumb promise we made when we were kids. I barely even knew you then." His own voice remained flat and bare, as if he had bottled up anything else. Yet, he was not wrong. In fact, I could remember the day clearly. We were sitting outside of the principle's office after a fist fight we had gotten in. Louis wanted the seat closest to the window in the classroom, and I, being a stubborn brat, wanted it too. Not for any reason, but just because another kid wanted it. We got so mad at each other, screaming and bickering. When the teacher finally sent us to the office, I threw the first punch in the hall. Our parents had been brought up to the school to discipline us. I was no fool when it came to punishments. I lost my gaming console every other week, yet never seemed to learn. Louis however, had to deal with his dad. As he sat next to me, tears running down his face, I could faintly make out a bright red handprint on his cheek. He told me about how his father was a big shot; owner of a small company, president and chairman of some board of directors, and other nonsense I did not understand. Louis was expected to take over some day, his father raising him with -tough love- as Louis called it. He made me promise not to tell anyone, and we pinky promised to keep any secret between us, and to keep nothing secret from the other.

"Then why has it held up until now? For some dumb promise, you've sure kept it up until college." My voice was shaking, my legs taking a step forward as he took one back, our distance unchanging.

"I don't have time for this. I've been transferred to a college upstate. . ." He turned away as he spoke, showing me his backside, a fluffy tail sticking through his slacks. Once we got into college he always was well dressed. "It's a rather nice school, all the bells and whistles. Graduating from there will only benefit me."

Before I knew what I was doing, I leaped forward, my hand grabbing ahold of his shoulder, keeping him from moving any farther away. "We both know you never cared about that. You're not telling me everything Lou!" My grip tightened on his shoulder.

Another shrug. He kept walking forward with his bag in tow, his every movement the definition of upper class, a different league. Despite always acting regal, he never acted as if he was better than anyone else, his expensive exterior hiding the generous soul within. "Its time to grow up Ren. We can't keep playing about. We need to think about what comes next." His voice was still neutral.

Again, my hand clasped his shoulder, but this time with a harsher force. If I had been a carnivore my nails would have dug into his skin. He did not shrug me away this time, but he continued his speech. "This is a public university. While it is certainly better than nothing, something more upstanding would look better on my resume. If I am to one day lead the company then-"

"Are those your words Lou, or am I speaking to your father now?" I interjected, my gaze hardening on the back of his head. I had barely even finished my sentence before he had spun around.

-S m a c k-

My vision became blurry, a slight ringing in my ears as I became disorientated. My feet doubled back on themselves, almost stumbling over. As I tried to regain my senses, a low rumble became audible in my ears. Black clouds had rolled in, blocking out the beautiful painting the night sky had presented. I felt a wetness on my maw. At first I thought the rain had already set in, dripping on to my face, but it felt warm. I rubbed my hand across my face, my vision slowly coming back to focus on my hand. It was blood.

Louis had socked me square in the nose, enough force to draw blood as I looked up at him in disbelief. I wanted to shout at him, to even punch back, yet every urge left my body as I gazed at his trembling form. His eyes locked with mine, his furnace suddenly lit ablaze as he continued swinging, but with his words instead of his fists. "Don't. . . Don't you dare compare me to my father! You think I don't know how fucking dumb this all sounds? You think I want to keep secrets from you?! I don't! I don't want to do any of this Ren! I don't want to be tied to my own last name! I don't want to go to some pompous fucking school! I don't. . ." He seemed to pause, a wetness starting to drip down his face, yet the rain had yet to let loose. He broke eye contact once more, back to looking down at the ground. "I don't want to leave you. I just. . . I don't have any other option."

"Lou, of course you do." My own voice came back soft and sweet, the pain in my chest no longer caused by my own worries, but from the state of my closest friend. I pained for him, my blood-stained hand reaching out, gently gripping his arm. Even as it stained his winter coat, he opted not to shrug me away. "I know you only went here because of me, but you still managed to convince your dad. You can do it again." My other arm reached forward, gently grasping Lou. Even as blood continued to run down my face, my gaze was unchanging. "You know that I love y-"

"Please don't say it. . . Just don't." He was shaking, my words only brought more tears to his eyes. The sky rumbled once more, getting ready to let its torment free as gentle drops pattered onto the top of my head. It seemed so calming, even soothing for the time being. Yet, it brought no comfort to Louis. His soft, small hands reached up to grab my wrists, as if wanting to push me away but lacking the strength to do so. "Please. I can't bare to hear those words. Not right now."

"Louis. You can't expect me to hide my enDEERment for you." Even through his tears he managed a small chuckle, my awful puns breaking through the barrier. "I confessed to you last year because I meant it. I've already laid everything out for you, remember? We never keep secrets. I've loved you since high school. When you told me you managed to convince your dad to enroll you here I. . . my heart soared over the moon. I will cherish every memory we have." One of my hands began to move up, gently caressing the underside of his chin, one of his favorite spots to be touched.

"I remember when we first started dating."

I tilted his chin upward.

"I remember the first time you said the words 'I love you' and how happy it made me."

Ours eyes met.

"I remember when you asked me to the dance. When we shared our first kiss."

Our lips began to move closer.

"I. . . I remember the first night we made love."

Closer.

"Louis Brendinoff. I love you. I want to always be with you."

. . .

Just as our lips were about to touch, he turned away, and as he did a part of my heart went with him. "I can't Renny. Honestly, I'm so sorry. . ."

As those words left his lips, I finally could not keep my own tears at bay, and neither could the sky. All of us cried, the rain beginning to pour down as my voice grew shaky. A pit grew in my stomach, and my heart sank deep down into it, as if those words had turned it into a heavy clump of stone. My own gaze shifted as my clothes grew damp, yet neither of us stepped out of the rain. "But why Lou? Have. . . Have I not been good enough? Have I not treated you with the care you deserved? Please I'll do anything! I'll start cleaning up around the dorm. I'll stop pestering you to come to all those dumb parties with my theater friends. I'll do whatever you want just please-"

He interupted me again. "My father knows about us." There was a silence after Louis spoke, as if the thunder could read the room and briefly shushed it's sounds, the torrent of rain seeming to grow fainter even as we became drenched. "He knows. He's already cut funding to the bursar's office. He isn't paying for my college anymore Renny."

I could barely process the words I was hearing. My brain seemed to break, as if it jumped into the hole with my heart, unable to decide whether to be angry at his father, or sad at the news. I was already attending on student loans and drama scholarships. Even if I wanted to, I would not be able to help him pay. My next words seemed as empty as Louis' had previously been. "How'd he find out?"

He pulled away from me, his large feet splashing in the puddles that had formed on the ground. "He was sent a picture of us kissing. Apparently one of the faculty is a friend of his from high school. Bastard took a picture of us when we were playing spikeball with my fraternity." He took two more steps away as he spoke, and with every inch of distance, that pit swallowed my heart even more. "He called me a couple days ago, furious. Heh- the things he said to me would honestly make a sailor blush. Threatened to disown me too. Said he'd have 'no faggot son of mine sharing my name'. So, he decided to send me up north to a business school. It's either that, or I'm out on the street with nothing."

My anger continued to boil up, my fists clenching once more as if ready to murder. I could remember every time he had hurt Louis. Every mark he would show me in private. Every word of malice his father would use when he came to pick him up after school. I was raised not to hate anyone. Yet Louis' father I hated. I hated him with every ounce of my being.

". . . And you're just okay with this?" The anger erupted out of me again, like a pot boiling over. Louis stopped in his tracks, raising his head. His voice had become calm once again, but even I could tell his face was not wet from just the rain.

"It's the way it's always been Ren." He spoke almost inaudibly, the thunder making it hard to hear, yet he did not dare speak up. "Just when I think I can finally be happy, something spoils it. It has always been that way. Whether in school or at home. . ." his hand clenched tighter on his suitcase, his nose and lips quivering as he continued. "Even when I find someone I love so TERRIBLY much. Something comes along and spoils it." As he spoke my vision blurred once more, yet not from any physical abuse. The tears mixed with the rain, leaving a salty mixture that blinded me.

My body gave in, unable to move. I was petrified. "You're just going to give up? We could just-. . . Well, what about-. . . Maybe even just- just- Louis please! Please don't leave me!" I could barely speak as my throat grew horse, my eyes letting lose like the rain, my voice a mixture of sobs and hyperventilation. Louis stood firm, even as his body shook, and his own voice wavered.

"I'm sorry Renny. I am so so sorry. I just hope you forgive me someday." He had made up his mind, and it was clear to the both of us. No matter what else was said, it would not change the path that had been laid before us. Louis turned around once more, yet kept his eyes facing toward mine, if just briefly. "You'll make someone very happy one of these days. Show them the same kindness you showed me."

"Goodbye Ren."

My body gave in. I felt my knees hit the concrete of the sidewalk as my hands clutched my chest. My heart, even in its newfound pit, shattered. My hands clawed at my chest, as if desperate to put it back together but to no avail. With every step Louis took, another piece broke off. I knew him well enough. He was putting on a brave face, not letting himself fall apart until he was out of my sight. Yet, I could not do the same. That was the moment I watched my one true love walk out of my life, my tears adding to the wet stained ground. It is often said that the best time to cry is when it rains. The rain hides all tears, but Louis and I could see those tears. The last image of him that I would ever see would be the crying face of the sweetest man I ever met. For hours I remained out in the rain, and for hours I wept.