Healing a Doctor Chapter 2
#2 of Healing a Doctor
The sun was hanging low in the sky when Nathan and Brian finally landed in Makassar. They arrived in front of the clinic at the same time, dropped off by two separate transports. They grabbed their bags and began to walk towards the door.
The city was medium sized, the main buildings made of concrete, and houses made either of wood or assorted junk. The war was not treating this city well; buildings were riddled with bullet holes, Japanese flags were painted on houses, and there were even bodies rotting in the streets.
"I'm glad we're finally here!" Nathan said as he walked into the clinic slamming his luggage on the ground, Brian following behind him.
It was a small room, with a living space in the back behind a closed door, there were three small beds crammed in with an examination table, and cupboards full of surgical instruments. The floor was covered with green tile and the walls were painted white.
"Looks like shit," Brian began as he set his bags down, "Where do we sleep?"
"In the back," Nathan replied, rummaging through the drawers idly to check what he had.
"Well I haven't been able to talk to you all day," Brian said indignantly, "Let's go out for a drink."
"Well yeah, but we have work to do," Nathan said.
"Cant it wait," Brian said, nearly whining.
"No," Nathan sighed, and then moved a scalpel into a different drawer, "I need to organize all this shit."
"Come on, you know this can wait," Brian said, closing the drawer Nathan was rummaging through.
"I guess," Nathan replied after a slight pause. "Let's go get wasted, we have tomorrow to set up the clinic anyway."
"I told you so," Brian said eagerly holding the door for Nathan as he walked out.
With that the two began to walk down the street, looking for a bar. Two blocks down they found a restaurant and entered. It was a small corner restaurant that had a bar in the back; the small space was filled with red booths. They turned heads as they walked through the crowded establishment.
"They're all staring at us," Brian said as he sat down.
"It's just because we're American," Nathan replied, "They're curious."
"I didn't see you at the brief," Brian said sharply.
"What about that? I didn't see you there either or I would have talked to you," Nathan replied, looking warily at Brian.
"Huh, of course, so how was your flight from Manila?" Brian asked the sharp tone in his voice gone.
"Weren't we on the same one?" Nathan replied.
"No, I saw you get on another plane, you took off before us but we beat you here somehow. Was the weather shitty?" Brian said
"No, the Japanese were shooting off artillery, we had to go around the long way," Nathan said.
"Do you speak Indonesian?" Brian asked.
"Yes, Why?" Nathan answered.
"I want a drink, a beer," Brian replied, "Would you order."
"Pelayan," Nathan said in Indonesian, waving his hand at a beautiful tigress.
"Apa yang ingin and?," she replied, pulling out a pen and paper.
"Saya ingin wiski dan temen saya akan mimum bir," Nathan said, "Terima Kashi,"
The waitress finished writing down the orders and left the table. In a couple of minutes she returned with the drinks.
"Is their artillery better than ours?" Brian asked while she placed the glasses on the table.
"No, but there has to be hundreds of those motherfuckers," Nathan said, "We flew over these huge aircraft carriers and transports, the shit could hit the fan very fast."
Brian opened his muzzle to speak but was cut off by the waitress.
"Apakah yang menjadi semua?" She asked.
"Ya, Berapa," Nathan asked, pulling out his wallet.
"Untuk Anda, tak ada," She said, walking away dragging a hand seductively across his shoulders.
"We just got free drinks," Nathan said proudly putting away his wallet.
"Did you hear about those Japanese prison ships?" Brian asked, idly stirring his beer with a finger.
"No," Nathan began, "But I heard they have prison camps up in the mountains."
"Some spec ops group took out one of those camps, so the Japs moved all the prisoners out to these huge ships," Brian replied.
"Doesn't sound like a good conversation over drinks," Nathan replied.
"Anything you feel like talking about?" Brian asked
Nathan shook his head and raised the shot glass to his lips. He was about to drink when Brian said.
"I would like to continue our therapy session," Brian began, "I just want to know why you're so dependent on people."
"Who said I was dependent?" Nathan replied, setting down the glass.
"It's just an assumption. Now tell me about your wife." Brian said, then took a sip of his beer.
"Her name was Clarissa, she was from Toledo, Ohio, a coyote like me, she came to New York City to piss her parents off," Nathan said, "She was a buyer for some clothes company."
"Why do you keep saying was?" Brian asked.
"She died, after the divorce she was driving home with a new boyfriend, she was killed in a traffic accident, the doctors say she died quick," Nathan replied, tossing back his whisky, "Lain," he then shouted, gesturing at the tigress.
The tigress came back with a bottle of whiskey, Saya akan memberitahu Anda selesai itu dari," she said then walked away.
"What about your boyfriend?" Brian asked.
"His name was Patrick, he taught ESL classes at a local high school," Nathan replied, pouring himself another shot, "Turns out he was Clarissa's brother."
"Did they look alike?" Brian asked, "Because you should have pieced together the last names and the similar appearance, and you should have seen him at a Christmas party or some shit."
"He was adopted, a tiger, he kept his old surname, he went out east to check on his little sister," Nathan answered, "Nearly killed me when he found out I was married to her. It's a small world after all."
"So no Christmas parties," Brian said with a half smile on his face.
"No Christmas parties," Nathan said, and then chuckled, "I think she was Jewish anyways."
The two laughed for a while, then as the laughter died down Brian asked.
"Is that when you started having suicidal thoughts?" Brian said, the smile wiping from his face.
"Not until after the custody battle, that's when I became truly alone," Nathan said, "I guess it just all added together."
"Are you still close to your daughter?" Brian asked.
"No," Nathan replied, "My fucking wife kept me away from her, and when she died, Haley got sent to grandma in Toledo."
"Did anything traumatic happen in your childhood?" Brian asked.
"What does that have to do with anything?" Nathan said, then taking sip of whiskey.
"Everything or nothing," Brian began, "If something traumatic happened in your childhood, then it could shape your psyche for the rest of your life. So did something happen?"
"Yes," Nathan replied, "I don't like to talk about it though."
"That's understandable," Brian began, "But I really think it would help if you told me."
"When I was five, my parents left me and my brother home alone, he got cold so I turned up the thermostat before we went to bed," Nathan said. "We went to sleep and at about midnight, the house caught on fire. I made it out and my brother didn't. Turns out, the thermostat was wired faultily, but my parents blamed me."
"My apologies for your brother," Brian began reaching a paw out to touch Nathan's, "What happened after that?"
"We moved to New York, first day of school I got in a fight, turns out my reputation preceded me. My father found out, and he beat me." Nathan said, "And I don't mean like slapped me around a little bit, I mean beat me within an inch of my life. I don't remember it too clearly, but I can remember him screaming at me, "You bastard you killed him!" He just screamed that over and over, the neighbors heard him and called the cops, they ended up shooting him."
Nathan stopped, and tossed back the shot, a tear forming in his eye and trailing down his cheek.
"Social Services came and took me away after I got out of the hospital. They couldn't find me a home. All I wanted was a family, you know? They couldn't find one that would take me. I wasn't wanted; no one wanted a freak for a son." Nathan finished, moving his hand out from under Brian's and wiping the tear off his cheek.
"No one thought you were a freak," Brian said, "I'm sure there just wasn't any homes available.
"No there was homes," Nathan began angrily, "They'd parade us out and potential parents would get to interview us and we'd interview them. I came so close, to finding a new family, but the fucking orphanage told them about what happened to me, they thought I was a fucking psycho, that I'd kill them in their sleep. They told them that I was a murderer that I ki...," Nathan sobbed then cleared his throat, "Killed my brother."
"Well did you?" Brian asked.
"There was nothing I could've done," Nathan replied bitterly, "They thought I was a fucking loony."
"They didn't think that," Brian began, "I'm sure you just weren't the right kid for them at the time."
"THAT'S BULLSHIT," Nathan shouted, causing all the heads in the crowded restaurant to look at them, "Those fuckers..." he spat out, "Those fuckers told me, that I would never be wanted, and that no one in their right mind would ever love me, because of a series of events I wasn't able to control, because of some fucking scars that my bastard father gave me, because I fucking cried at night over the shit that happened to me."
The crowd stared for a while longer then gradually returned to their business. Nathan began to tilt the bottle back, taking two needy gulps.
"I think I understand why you need people," Brian began, "You know what it feels like to be alone, and you would rather die than be alone, you need someone to love you."
"Hit the nail right on the head there doctor," Nathan said, a half smile on his face. He tilted the bottle back again.
"You don't have to worry about being alone anymore Nathan," Brian said reassuringly, "I'll be here, always."
"I know," Nathan replied, "But we're in a war now, you and I could die tomorrow."
"Nathan, I promise I won't die without you," Brian said.
"Don't make promises you can't keep, just... live for the moment," Nathan said.
"I don't get what you mean," Brian began, and then sipped his forgotten beer.
"I mean just live the way you want to, fuck what everyone else says, and don't make any promises." Nathan said then finishing off the whisky.
"Well I have an idea now of what's going on with you," Brian said, "Now I get to try and help you further."
"I have a question for you," Nathan said, "Why did you get so strange about not seeing me at the brief?"
"It's just something," Brian began, he then saw that Nathan was not impressed with his answer and quickly added, "You know I'm so in love with you that I cant stand not being around you."
"That's a good reason, I guess." Nathan replied half-heartedly, "I think we should go."
"I'm ready to go when you are," Brian said, finishing off his beer.
"Ok," Nathan replied, standing up and throwing a twenty on the table.
"I thought you said the drinks were free." Brian said as they walked out.
"I'd feel like shit if I didn't pay," Nathan replied, "Not to mention I kind of made a scene."
"It's ok," Brian said, placing a hand on Nathan's shoulders, "The sooner you get it out the better."
The two walked back to the clinic. The sun was setting, and foot and vehicle traffic was low, leaving the two furs more or less by themselves. In a bold move, Brian enveloped his paw in Nathan's; they walked like that back to the clinic. Nathan went into the clinic first; Brian followed and pushed him against the door jamb as soon as the door closed. Their lips mashed together, melded perfectly. Nathan's fingers began to rub Brian's back, his lips pushing back with the same force as Brian's.
"How come every time we kiss I get shoved against a wall, it's not like I'm gonna run away," Nathan said as soon as Brian broke the kiss.
"I guess I'm just dominant," Brian replied.
Nathan gave him a quick kiss on the lips and walked towards one of the drawers across the room. As he began to rummage through it Brian walked up behind him and got him in a reverse hug.
"What are you looking for?" Brian asked, reaching his paws around to Nathan's crotch.
"Drugs," Nathan stated, "Not to use, but so I can get them in a better place."
"Ok, cant it wait 'til tomorrow," Brian said, starting to move his paws up and down slowly over Nathan's crotch.
"Fine," Nathan said then closed the drawer, "Why does it have to wait until tomorrow?"
"I can think of better things we could be doing," Brian said.
Nathan chuckled then said, "You can get your paws out of my crotch, that's one thing you should be doing."
Brian complied, his paws moving back to grab Nathan's hips. Nathan tilted his head back and the two kissed again.
"Why don't we take our relationship to the next level tonight," Brian said seductively after the kiss, then grinding his hips into Nathan's ass.
"Not tonight," Nathan said, "Not the first night we're here."
"What happened to living the way you want to, fuck what everyone says," Brian began, "We could die tomorrow you know."
"Trying to fuck with my psyche, that's a pretty low move," Nathan said, then chuckled, "We don't have to start patrols until the day after tomorrow."
"What are we doing tomorrow?" Brian said, massaging his paws into Nathan's shoulders.
Nathan didn't talk for a moment, eyes rolled back into his head. His ass unconsciously pushed into Brian's hips.
"How did you know I like back rubs?" Nathan asked, moaning a little and leaning his head into Brian's chest.
"Intuition," Brian replied, then bending his neck to give Nathan a quick kiss on the lips, "But you still didn't answer my question."
"We're setting up the clinic tomorrow," Nathan said, turning around to face Brian, "But when we're done I'm sure I can think of other activities to do."
"Like what?" Brian asked, pulling Nathan in closer to him, hands groping Nathan's crotch again.
Nathan was quiet for a moment, Brian's hands coaxing out long-forgotten feelings in his sheath. He turned around and kissed Brian again, the two running their tongues in the others muzzles. Brian's hands slowly moved up to pull down Nathan's pants.
"Like going on a wilderness hike, or checking out the town," Nathan said breaking Brian's hold and the kiss. He started rummaging through drawers again, moving medical instruments and containers at random.
"Oh," Brian replied, unable to hide the dejected tone in his voice.
"It's unhealthy to be so horny Brian," Nathan joked, then seductively looked over his shoulder and said, "I'll fill out a prescription tomorrow."
Brian's ears perked back up, he then walked into the room where the two would be sleeping. The room in the back was filled with beds, other furniture, and appliances.
"There's so much shit back here!" Brian exclaimed, "We're not gonna be sharing with your patients are we."
"No," Nathan said as he walked in, "I'll move some of that into the other room; I'm not expecting too many over-nighters. Those appliances are gonna stay there though."
"Do we have any food," Brian asked, walking through the jumbled mess.
"I'll check in the morning," Nathan said then sighed, "I'm exhausted."
"I'm ready for bed," Brian said, randomly laying down in one of the beds and throwing the covers over his head, he gave a mild grunt of discomfort "These feel like hospital beds"
"What else are they supposed to feel like?" Nathan said as he jumped into a separate bed. "Night."
Brian replied with a grunt and turned over . Nathan got under the covers and laid his head against the pillow. Eyes closing to allow in the sweet release of sleep.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"Nathan," a voice said in the darkness.
"Nathan!" the voice said more urgently.
Nathan angrily sat up from the bed and yelled, "Mikey, why the fuck did you wake me up, this better be fucking important."
He immediately felt bad after seeing tears build up in his brother's eyes. He reached out to give his brother a hug.
"I'm sorry Mike," Nathan began releasing Mike from the hug, "You know how I get when I get woke up too early. What's wrong?"
"I smell smoke Nathan," Mike said worriedly, "Could- Could you check?"
"Ya man, I'm on it," Nathan said, stretching his arms out and getting out of bed. He walked across the room, and cranked open the door. He nearly fell backwards as the blare of orange light ravaged his eyes. Nathan slammed the door shut and ran to Mike.
"Was there fire when you ran over here?" Nathan asked urgently, paws grasping Mike's shoulders firmly.
"No Nathan," Mike said then asked, "Are we gonna be ok?"
"Yes little dude," Nathan said as calmly as he could, "Mike, we're gonna have to run out of here. Ok? Just follow me."
Mike grabbed Nathan's hand and led him to the door. He opened it for the second time, and ran away from the hungry orange light. The smoke filled the hallway with its dense, near-impenetrable smog. Nathan coughed and looked at his hand, Mike was gone. Nathan saw a brown shape running towards the fire.
"MIKE!" He screamed, feet planted where he stood, rooted with fear.
"I have to get my teddy," Mike shouted back, running into his room, the door not yet engulfed by fire.
"MIKE!" Nathan screamed again, taking slow steps towards the blaze.
He ran out of his room, the obnoxiously sized pink teddy bear held in his arms. He had won it at a county fair and the two were inseparable. He started to run awkwardly towards me, the bear's legs dragging on the carpet turning black from the soot.
"Come on Mike," Nathan said with relief, gesturing towards him.
Nathan turned around and began to run down the hall towards the stairs. All of a sudden he heard a loud crash and a scream. Nathan slowly turned his head to see his brother trapped under a burning beam.
"Nathan," he screamed, "Help me!"
The teddy was on fire now, fibers burning away. Mike began to scream now, a terrible painful shriek, he began to catch on fire from his legs up. The ravenous blaze eating away at flesh, hair and the blue cloth pajamas he was wearing.
He screamed again shrill and loud over the crackling of the fire. His fur began to drop off now taking the skin with it. The fire engulfed him, his arms flailed and he wailed like a banshee. It was a horrific sight, his body all burned, the meat falling off the bones. He screamed again, one last time, his fire charred jaw locked in a permanent silent scream.
Nathan ran down the stairs, tears welling in his eyes, trying not to sob and inhale the thick black smoke. He made it to the last step, before tripping and landing on the carpet in the living room, which wasn't on fire yet.
He began to cry into the carpet, over the loss of his brother and the searing pain in his ankle. Nathan started to slowly pull himself across the carpet, the front door seeming miles away. He passed out three feet away from the door.
The images began to blur now, as if someone had pressed fast forward. Nathan in a hospital bed, at his brother's funeral, at his new school. Everything snapped back into regular time, and Nathan was walking up to the door to his apartment.
"How was your day at school dear?" his mother asked as he walked in.
"Bad, I got in a fight," Nathan replied throwing down his backpack then sitting on the sofa.
"About what?" Nathan's mother asked, sitting down beside him.
"They called me names, and tried to hit me, I got suspended," he replied then reaching out for a hug, "I'm sorry."
"Don't be honey," his mom said, hugging him "But you'll still be punished, I'm going to talk to your father."
Nathan's mom got up and walked towards Nathan's father's study. He wasn't the same as he used to be, he became more distant and angered more quickly after the funeral. Nathan perked his ears up to try to hear what was happening inside the room. He heard frenzied shouting, and words trying to unsuccessfully quench it. This continued for a while, until he heard a sharp gag.
Nathan's father then walked out the room, a psychotic look in his eyes.
"You killed Mike and you made me kill Denise, you're nothing but a fucking murderer," he spat out, advancing on me.
He grabbed Nathan by the ears and threw him into the kitchen, he slammed into a counter. Nathan could remember his father angrily shouting at the neighbors through the thin walls and them hearing and shouting back.
"HELP ME!" Nathan screamed. "HE'S GONNA KILL ME!"
Nathan brought a breath in for another scream, but his father ran at him and picked him up by the scruff. He began to shake Nathan, his head level to his. His eyes were bloodshot, and spittle hung on his lips.
"YOU BASTARD YOU KILLED HIM!" He screamed, spit hitting Nathan in the face.
He slammed Nathan into a table, breaking it. Nathan's body hit the ground, a choked sob escaping from his mouth. Tears began to stream from his face as he stood Nathan up and started slapping him, each hit nearly knocking Nathan to the floor.
He continued to scream the same words, punctuating the last word with a slap each time. Nathan staggered and tried to run, but he just kept repeating the gesture, not giving me a reprise.
His fist connected with Nathan's jaw, laying him out sprawling in the living room. The pain was terrible, and Nathan spat out a tooth, luckily still a baby tooth. Blood began to gush into his mouth, and he coughed and spat, leaving red stains on the white carpet
Nathan began to crawl, his broken and battered body fighting him the whole way, blood dropping from his mouth leaving a trail. Nathan heard his father rummage through a drawer in the kitchen. Nathan managed to lean his body against the sofa in time to see him walk towards him with a kitchen knife in his hand. Nathan closed his eyes, ready for the inevitable.
Nathan heard a loud crash and a commanding voice shout out. Nathan couldn't make out what the voice said, and his vision was blacking in and out. Nathan's father ran towards the voice, Nathan's vision blacked out, he heard a bang, his vision came back and his father was dead lying on the floor with a hole in his head.
The cop stood in front of Nathan, mouth moving but no words coming out. Nathan began to fall to the floor, his father's face only a couple feet away.
"Wake up," he said, laughing as blood spurted out of the hole in his skull.
"WAKE UP," he screamed manically in a demonic voice, black goo pouring out from his muzzle and eyes.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Nathan sat up violently; head cannoning into Brian's who was standing above him. He groaned, and rolled backwards clutching his head. Nathan fell back onto the bed, and just as soon getting back up.
"Are you ok?" He asked looking over at the prostate golden retriever.
"I guess so," Brian said, rubbing his head, "Must have been a hell of a dream you had,"
"Huh, what was I saying," Nathan replied, reaching out a paw to help Brian up.
"You started screaming "MIKE!" and then started saying "I'm sorry," over and over again until you woke up." Brian said, then grunting as he pulled himself up with Nathan's paw. "So what were you dreaming about?"
"Shit, I want to forget," Nathan said, and then looking at Brian, "You got a pretty gnarly cut under your lip."
It was a small cut, worse than a fat lip, about an inch long from his bottom lip to his chin, bright crimson against shining gold.
"I'll fix it up," Nathan said, rushing into the clinic.
"Its fine," Brian began, "Just grab a band-aid or something."
"Whatever you say," Nathan said, throwing him a band-aid.
Brian fixed the band-aid to the cut then walked back over to his bed, "What time is it,"
"About 11:30," Nathan replied then sat down on his bed, "I haven't had dreams that vivid since I was fifteen."
"We'll talk about it tomorrow," Brian said, "I'm too tired right now."
"I'm sorry Brian, for head butting you," Nathan said, his head still ringing.
He didn't answer; Nathan sighed and slunk back into the covers. He was unable to sleep, the horrific images of the nightmares flashing through his subconscious vision. He sat up again, eyes adjusting to the dark.
Am I really about to ask this? he thought as he slowly got out of the bed. He silently crept through the rows of beds, stopping by Brian's bed.
"Hey, um Brian," He began, Brian turning over and looking at him, "I still can't sleep, I'm still weirded out by those nightmares. Do you... Can I sleep with you tonight?"
"What?" Brian asked, turning over to look at the shivering coyote, "Are you cold? Why are you shivering?"
"It's just..." Nathan began, getting his shivering under control, "My history has plagued my dreams for years, and it always seems to let me be when I'm sharing a bed. Sounds like bullshit I know, but still. Could I sleep with you tonight?"
"Sure," Brian replied after a slight pause, "Jump in."
Nathan got under the covers and curled up next to Brian, his head lying in Brian's chest fur.
"Thank you," Nathan said as Brian laid an arm around him.
The two laid there for a while, basking in the warmth of each other's company. Nathan began to run his paws through the golden's fur, while Brian scratched Nathan behind the ear.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Brian said, pulling Nathan up to eye level.
"No," Nathan replied, raising a paw to rub behind his ear, "I can wait till morning."
"It'll be better if you talk about it now," Brian said, "It'll be okay, it was just a dream."
"I know but..." Nathan began, "Fine, I was dreaming about my brother and my father and what happened to them."
"I won't ask you for details, unless you want to diverge them," Brian said, "You can't just keep these memories locked in your subconscious, replace these with the good memories of your family."
"I've tried, but I can't forget," Nathan sighed, "I can't forget."
"We should get some sleep," Brian said, "Just... try and think of other things."
"You know what you said about getting to know each other?" Nathan said.
"What about it," Brian replied.
"I used to live in Camden, New Jersey before I moved to New York, I've never been to Disneyworld, and I love muscle cars," Nathan said, "Now you."
"This is ridiculous," Brian said, closing his eyes
"It was your idea," Nathan said, then flicked Brian's nose, "Now go."
"Fine," Brian began, "I have never rode a bike, I can't whistle, and I hate not being able to get to sleep. Now can we please go to sleep, I'm exhausted."
"Guess you're not a late night person, huh?" Nathan said, and was given a snort as a reply.
Nathan laughed, and moved back down to his spot on Brian's chest. He warily closed his eyes, almost welcoming the blackness. It was strange, he felt safe in Brian's arms, and Brian's scent reassured him. Nathan drifted off into the sweet relief of a dreamless sleep.
It was his first good sleep in ten years.