FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

"You'll be fine, Bailey. Everyone's scared on their first day of high school."

I know, I know, Mom's probably right, but that sure doesn't stop me from shaking. I've always hated the end of summer vacation. You just get so used to sleeping in and playing video games all day, and now it's just gonna be homework, early bedtimes, and dealing with jerks at school. But at least I knew the jerks at my old school. Apparently, this school has like five times as many kids! How am I supposed to find my old friends?

Haha, that's a joke. I don't have any friends at school.

"Bailey? We're here."

Bailey looks up at his mom, his eyes needing a moment to focus on her. "Huh?"

"Time to go! I'll see you at three-thirty!"

"Uh, yeah. See ya," Bailey says, snapping out of his trance. He gets out of the car and slams the door a little harder than he meant to, and his mom drives off. He sighs, takes a deep breath, and walks down the long path to the front doors of the school.

Man, I don't recognize anyone here. Even if they were all a bunch of jerks, it would be nice to see a familiar face. Oh, wait, there's Rick! ...And he totally ignored me, just like usual. Still, I feel a little better...

As he steps through the wide-open front doors of the school, he stops to look around.

Wow. Everything is so much bigger here. The halls are wider. The ceilings are taller. Even the lights are brighter. But even with all that... it seems even more crowded, more packed than--oof! The heck was that?

"Will you fuckin' move?"

Pain runs through Bailey's upper back as he stumbles to one knee. He pops back to his feet and swings around to see a scowling wolf staring daggers through him.

Holy crap, he's huge. Okay, okay, fine, I guess I was blocking the door. But maybe he could try asking me to move before shoving me?

Bailey scurries out of the way and the wolf storms past without even looking at him.

Great. The people here are jerks too. Love it.

He sighs and rummages through the satchel on his waist, then pulls out a piece of paper.

Okay, locker 651. Where in the world is that?

He looks around, then notices some direction arrows on the wall. To the left, lockers 100 through 300. Straight, 301 through 500. To the right, 500 through 700. Up the stairs...

Who cares about upstairs?

He spins around on his heels and trudges down the hall, counting the locker numbers as he passes.

Figures that my locker would be close to the end of the hall. Man, it's going to take a lot of getting used to this place. Everyone is so much bigger than me. Sure, most of them are older, but even at my old school, I was always the short one. I hate being so small, and now it's so much worse... oh, wait, locker 651!

He swings the door open and starts jamming his stuff in without much concern for tidiness. As he's shoving his books in, there's a loud clang next to him.

"Whoops!"

Bailey leans back and looks around his door at a tall, slim, cream-coloured lop hunched over and half-way inside his locker. Even bent over, the rabbit stands about as tall as Bailey does normally. As he leans back to pull something else out of his bag, he notices Bailey and bolts upright, his face erupting into a toothy grin.

"Hey, man! I'm Cooper! Looks like we're locker buddies!"

Bailey cranes his neck up and stares at the rabbit.

Oh man, he's so tall! Wait, he's acknowledging me without, like, calling me pipsqueak or something? And his nose! Wow! It's wiggling like crazy!

Why do I feel funny?

Cooper furrows his brow and turns his head a little bit, as if expecting something.

Oh, right.

"Ah, hi. I'm Bailey," he says, faking a yawn. "Sorry, didn't sleep well last night." Technically, that was true, but that wasn't the reason he was staring.

Wow, his fur is such a nice shade of orange. It's like my orange spots, but a lot softer... and his cheeks... they're so puffy... and his ears, they're so long. He's just really...

Really...

Cute?

Wait, what? Cute? He's a boy. If I think he's cute, then that makes me gay, doesn't it? And I am not gay, so that can't be it. There's definitely something, though. Man, I'm still staring, aren't I? And he's staring back at me. He must think I'm nuts. Maybe I am nuts.

"Hey, um, this is kinda weird, but uh, what kinda dog are you?"

Bailey blinks a few times. "Huh? Oh, uh, I'm an Australian shepherd."

Cooper's grin widens. "Man, you look so cool! Your colours are so nice! And I really like the way your ears fold over!"

Said ears, along with the rest of Bailey's body, suddenly feel very hot.

Is... is he complimenting me? What? Am I turning red? Oh man, I'm so glad I have a black nose right now. Why is he being nice? Why does that make me feel so happy? I mean, of course it does. Everyone feels happy when someone says something nice, right? That's not weird, right?

Oh no, I'm staring again.

"Oh, thanks," Bailey says. He wants to say something nice back, but the thought of it just seems... just seems...

Seems kinda gay.

Hey, why'd his nose stop wiggling?

"Uh, sorry. I guess that was weird, wasn't it?" Cooper says, rubbing the back of his ear. "Well, uh, see ya around." He picks up his stuff and walks away, slouching.

Stupid! Why did I say that? Now he thinks I hate him or something! I should go after him and say sorry. But wait, wouldn't that be weird? What if I'm just imagining things?

Bailey sighs and takes another look at his information sheet, then starts searching around for his classroom.

Ugh, I feel sick. Why do I feel sick? I don't even know the guy. It's fine, right? I'll see him later, and I can just say sorry then. Will he even remember? I can already hear him. 'Sorry for what? Man, you're weird! And short!'

But what if I did hurt him? Oh no... I hope not...

Wait, did I just walk past the classroom?

The day drags on. Every class is a repeat of the previous one. The teacher introduces themselves, talks about the rules and the curriculum, and then the bell rings, sending everyone scurrying to their next class, where they'd do it all again. Lunch provides a short reprieve, and Bailey wanders around the school, learning the layout. He was hoping to run into Cooper while he was exploring, but he had no such luck. Eventually, the day winds down, and he finds himself outside the room for his last class.

Alright, Bailey. One more to go. You can do it.

He walks into the classroom and looks around. Model skeletons--at least, he hopes they're models--of all sorts of species surround the room. Jars of who-knows-what just sitting on tables. Charts and diagrams of all sorts stuck to the walls behind the skeletons.

What kind of weirdo fills his room with all this stuff?

"Come on in, come on in! Sit wherever you'd like!"

Bailey looks over his shoulder and sees, standing behind a raised desk, a big polar bear wearing an even bigger aloha shirt. The teacher catches Bailey's glance and smiles widely as he waves.

Okay, maybe he's the harmless kind of weirdo?

Bailey shuffles to the back of the classroom, sitting at a desk tucked away in the corner.

And then Cooper walks in, hunching slightly, his long, floppy ears bouncing on his shoulders with each step. Bailey's chest tightens just a little bit.

There's Cooper! Shoot, what do I do? Should I wave? Should I act like I don't see him? Should I--

Their eyes meet, and Cooper stands up straight and walks over to him.

"Hi, Bailey! Can I sit next to you?"

Oh, wow, he remembers my name? Even the kids at my other school never bothered to remember my name! He's so cool...

"Bailey?"

Bailey shakes his head and forces another yawn. "H-hi, Cooper," he says, his voice cracking a little. He clears his throat. "Yeah, go ahead."

Did his nose just start wiggling? Why do I... why do I want to rub it?

"Still sleepy?" Cooper says, smiling as he puts his bag on the floor and sits at the desk next to Bailey.

He even remembers my excuse from this morning? Why... would he do that?

"Mmhmm," Bailey says, maintaining eye contact as he puts his head on his desk.

Cooper opens his mouth, but before any words come out, Mr. Basney's voice shakes the walls of the classroom.

"Alright, alright, everyone! Settle down! My name is..."

Cooper's eyes pop open as he swivels to the front of the room. Bailey sighs and also turns to look at the teacher.

Same stuff as always... 'grades' this and 'attendance' that. I've heard the exact same thing in every class today. Man, this is so boring. I wonder what Cooper's doing...

Bailey turns his head and takes a look. The rabbit is leaning forward in his chair, ears dangling in front of his shoulders, staring directly at the teacher. Even at this angle, Bailey can see Cooper's nose wiggling as it seemed to often do.

Man... what is with this guy's nose? Isn't it annoying having it wiggle all day? ...Why do I like watching it so much?

Bailey's eyes refocus on a tiger girl narrowing her eyes at him.

What's her problem?

Oh, right, I guess I am just staring at the dude sitting next to me.

The dog sighs and turns his attention back to Mr. Basney. The polar bear's hands gesticulate wildly as he explains the syllabus, and Bailey finds himself enraptured by the display.

This guy's not so bad. Maybe he'll actually keep me awake.

Despite the teacher's energetic presentation, Bailey keeps checking the clock.

Thirty minutes to go. Twenty-five. Twenty. I am so ready to go home. Fifteen. Ten. I wonder what Cooper's doing.

He turns his head toward the rabbit. Their eyes meet for an instant before Cooper whips his head toward the front of the room, his ears swinging as he twists around.

Wait, was he looking at me? Why was he doing that? Maybe he's thinking about how weird I look? But... no, he said he liked my ears... was he... was he...

Was he doing what I was doing?

A chill runs down Bailey's spine and he glances back up at the clock. Is the minute hand even moving? He squirms in his chair as unfamiliar and confusing feelings swirl inside of him. When that bell rings... should he just leave, or should he wait for Cooper? He really, really wants to talk to him, but...

Come on. Come on, come on, come on. Please, just...

A shrill ring fills the room, and Mr. Basney tosses his pen into the air. "Alright, no homework today. Enjoy your night!"

Bailey shoots out of his chair, which falls back against the wall. He reaches down and sets it upright, then walks toward the door. Half-way out, he stops and looks back at Cooper, who is stuffing books into his bag.

Should I wait for him? No, everyone else would think I'm weird. I'm just standing in the way again. Okay, just leave. Well, maybe I could... no. No, Bailey. Just go.

His body jerks as he suddenly accelerates to full walking speed. The big polar bear waves at him as he storms out of the room, and he just keeps walking and walking, subconsciously darting and weaving between the much bigger and older students walking in the opposite direction.

It's not a big deal! He's just a guy! Just get to your locker and go to mom and get out. Ahh, which one was mine again? 561? No... it was at the end of the hall... right, 651. Right. Okay. Nothing crazy. Act normal. Walk there like a normal dog.

At last, he reaches his locker. He swings it open, reaches in, and shovels his stuff into his satchel. His impatience only makes things worse, however, as he has to rearrange his books a few times to get the bag to zip up. Once he finally forces it shut, he straightens up and swings around. Standing right next to him is Cooper, who breaks into a toothy grin when they make eye contact.

"Hi! Sure was a crazy day, huh?" the rabbit says.

Bailey's stomach does a somersault. He feels guilty about leaving Cooper behind--

Wait, what do I have to feel guilty about?

--but it seems like the rabbit doesn't mind.

"Oh, uhh, yeah!" Bailey says.

What a lame response. Why are you so lame, Bailey? Ahhh, I'm so dumb! I need to get out of here so he doesn't think I'm such a moron!

"So, which bus are you on?" he asks.

He still wants to talk to me?

"Oh, none of them. My mom's gonna pick me up."

"Ahh, nice! So you live nearby?"

His nose is wiggling again.

"Sorta. It's like a twenty minute walk, but my mom works from home, so..."

I love watching his nose.

"Hey, that's pretty lucky! I live in Ridgeton, so I gotta take a bus."

I want to rub his nose.

Wait, Ridgeton? Ouch. Ridgeton is a little village a good fifteen minute drive out of town. I remember hearing someone say that Ridgeton is where dreams and grandparents go to die.

I bet he doesn't have many friends out there...

Cooper closes his locker. "Speaking of which... better get going so I don't miss it. See you tomorrow, Bailey!" He smiles and waves at Bailey, then turns around and heads toward the side door.

The canine watches the tall lapine boy as he walks away. He watches his long ears as they bounce with each step. His eyes wander down to the fluffy tail sticking out of the top of his pants, and--

Why am I looking there? What the heck is wrong with me?

"Hey, watch that thing!" a robin says as she jumps away from Bailey.

"Wha...?"

"Your tail! It's going nuts!"

As soon as she mentions it, Bailey suddenly becomes aware of his thick tail swishing back and forth. He shoots his arms down and grabs it, holding it against his body.

"Uhh, sorry," he says, the tip flicking against his torso.

The robin laughs as she walks away.

Bailey shakes his head and walks quickly down the long hallway toward the front doors of the school. He can still feel the base of his tail trying to wag as he steps outside. After a quick scan of the parking lot, he spots his mother's car and lets go of his tail as he breaks into a run. It swings back and forth, thumping the car door as he reaches it. He yanks open the door and slides in with a single motion.

A cheerful voice inside the car greets him. "Gee, someone's happy to see me. So, how was your first day?

Bailey buckles up and pins his tail beneath his leg. "Okay, I guess."

"Meet any new friends?"

The word 'no' formed in Bailey's mouth, but he hesitated.

Friend? Is Cooper my friend? I mean, not really, right? We just talked a few times. That's not a friend. Not yet, anyway. Man, why was he being so nice to me?

"Bailey?"

"Wh--uh, no, not really."

"Well, give it some time."

"Mmm..."

He puts his hand on his cheek and stares out the window as his mom pulls out of the parking lot and starts driving home. The dog watches the world go by with unfocused eyes as his thoughts take him back to school. He simply cannot get Cooper out of his mind. There's just something inside of him, something that he doesn't recognize or understand, that makes him want to know everything there is to know about the rabbit. He wants to see his big floppy ears and wiggly nose again. He wants to hear his gentle, calming voice again.

Man, I wish I had asked for his number or something...

Luckily, the drive home isn't too long, and they soon find themselves pulling into their driveway. Bailey leaps out of the car and dashes up the steps to the front door.

"Bailey! You forgot your bag!" his mom says, holding his satchel.

Bailey spins around and, just as quickly, runs back down the steps to his mother.

"What's gotten into you? First, your tail tries to dent my car door, and now you're forgetting all your stuff. It's like you've fallen in love or something!"

The word crashes into Bailey like an athlete sprinting at full speed.

I am NOT in love. That is so dumb. I haven't even known him for a whole day, and besides, he's a boy, and only gay boys fall in love with boys, so that's--

"Wait..." Bailey's mom says, turning her head and grinning. After a moment, she cocks an eyebrow. "Have you fallen in love, Bailey?"

"No!" Bailey says as he snatches his satchel from his mother's hands.

"Come on, what's her name?"

"There's no her!" Bailey barks as he turns back toward the house and runs up the stairs as his mother laughs behind him. He swings open the door, storms down the hall to his room, and falls backwards on his bed.

Great. The neighbours probably heard that one. Who does she think she is, accusing me of being in love? This is nothing like that time I had a crush on Maddy! I just want... I just want to get to know him better. I just want a friend. That's not love, that's normal!

...So why do I want to run my paws through his fur?

Bailey growls and kicks his shoes off, then jumps over to his computer chair. He loads up his favourite game and starts playing, and it does manage to take his mind off of the cute rabbit.

He's not cute!

The hours pass as the game absorbs the young canine. Slowly, thoughts of Cooper fade from his mind, but every time he has to take a break, memories of the bunny's wiggling nose threaten to break through. As the sun disappears and the sky becomes black, Bailey finds himself yawning more and more. His resolve falters.

I just don't get it. I've met so many people that I never thought of again. Why's he different? Because he was nice to me? But lots of people are nice to me! Okay... some people are nice to me.

Fine. Most people don't care about me. But Cooper doesn't care about me. Why would he? Why would he care about someone he just met?

...Do I care about him? Like, okay, what if he got hurt?

The thought made Bailey feel queasy.

I guess... I would help him. But wouldn't anyone do that if they saw someone get hurt?

Would they do it for me? Mmm... probably not...

Bailey shakes his head, feeling the sadness creep in. He was sick of being lonely. Sure, he had friends online, but he couldn't sit with them on his bed and play games. He couldn't hang out at lunch time. He couldn't actually see them. They were so far away.

But Cooper was here, in the flesh! An actual friend, in person! The thought makes the dog feel like he's under a thick blanket on a cold night. He smiles and hops off his computer, then falls back on his bed. He lets the sensation of friendship wash over him as his head flops to the side. He sees Cooper lying next to him, his ears draped over his face as his nose wiggles at supersonic speeds. That cute little nose. He leans forward and nuzzles the rabbit's big, fluffy cheeks. They're so soft. The rabbit giggles sweetly, and Bailey leans forward--

"Ahh! What am I doing?" Bailey says, sitting up and rubbing his eyelids with his fingers. He looks down at the clock. 9:24.

I'm just tired. I think weird thoughts when I'm tired. That's all. I gotta shower and go to sleep.

He sits on the edge of his bed, swirling his fingers against his eyelids a little longer before pushing himself up, grabbing some underwear, and trodding into the washroom. After a fast shower--much faster than he typically takes--he grabs the blow dryer and blasts himself for longer than he needs to. The loud whirring of the machine drowns out his thoughts, and he only stops when his mom knocks on the door.

"Bailey! Those things cost money to use!"

He clicks off the dryer. "Sorry." He yawns, the hot air making his eyes heavy as he puts his underwear on, peeks around the corner to make sure no one is looking at him, and leaps across the hall and back into his room.

Ugh, I am too tired to be doing that...

Without checking his computer, he flicks off the light and slides under the blankets.

And Cooper is there with him again.

"Go away..." Bailey says, his voice a soft whimper.

I don't understand. I don't get it. Why can't I stop thinking about you? One day! It's been one day! Am I really so pathetic that I... that I get all... all...

Bailey growls and rolls over, slamming his eyes shut.

Why am I feeling like this? I'm... I'm not gay. I'm not!

"Your colours are so nice..." Cooper says.

"Shut up. They're not."

"And I really like the way your ears fold over..."

Bailey reaches up and straightens his ears. They fold again. "My ears are stupid and they make me ugly."

"See you tomorrow, Bailey!"

"Ugh..."

Bailey groans and opens his eyes. Cooper's gone. He closes his eyes again. He wants to cry. Why... why...

Why is this happening to me?