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Cirrus by Kanga Liu

Chapter 1

It was raining so hard that I didn't even have to look out the window, because I could just hear the raindrops pounding against the glass. It sounded more like bullets than water, and even though I should be used to the sound of rain by now, the sound of the heavy rain when I'm all by myself in my dim little room made me feel... so much more alone. I mean, I've lived in Seattle, Washington practically all my life, so what kind of weather should I expect, right? This city was always cold and wet.

I hated it so much.

I slammed my math book shut in frustration and took out a pack of cigarettes from my desk drawer. If I couldn't concentrate, then what was the point of trying to study? I took out a cigarette with my teeth, tossed the pack back into my drawer, pulled out a lighter from my pocket, and lit it up. My mom wasn't home because of her long afternoon shifts at the hospital, so I inhaled the smoke deeply knowing that I was safe. She would definitely kill me if she ever found me smoking a cigarette, and probably burn my corpse if she found out I've been doing it since middle school. It was a habit that killed my dad, so my mom hated people who smoked--not just because she was nurse who had to care about other people's health, either. She hated the habit just as much as...

I shut my eyes and quickly got up from my chair. I took one last deep drag from my cig before opening my third-floor window in front of my desk and tossing it out. After I shut the window, I walked out of my room and into the living room. The apartment my mom and I lived in was pretty big compared to others in the city. We each had our own bedroom, our own bathroom, a living room with a decent-sized TV, and a nice little kitchen. I threw myself onto our bright red couch and let out a heavy sigh, which I've been doing a lot lately. Apparently, people have been noticing my depression over the past few months, but they never really asked about how I was feeling or what was wrong.

"They wouldn't ever understand, anyways," I said quietly to myself. At that moment, I got up off the couch and slowly walked to the kitchen. There I grabbed a sharp steak knife, a bottle of alcohol from one of the shelves over the kitchen counter, and a white dish towel. When I got back into my bedroom, I took a little detour to my bathroom and grabbed a bunch of gauze with a roll of bandage wrap. I guess it sort of paid to have a parent who was a nurse.

Coming back into my bedroom I quickly took a seat on the ground, rolled up the sleeve of my black sweater to expose my lower left arm, placed the dish towel neatly underneath, and poured a little bit of alcohol on the flesh of my wrist. The preparation always took forever, but the best part was about to begin. In the dim light in my room, I could see my black-socked paw glisten with some old scars from previous cuts. After counting, I figured this would be my eighth time doing this. After taking a deep breath, I steadily held the kitchen knife over an imaginary target and...

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!

"What the hell?" I said to myself. I looked around, trying to find where the sound was coming from.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

It was my door, and someone was really pounding on it. My mom had keys to the door, so I was positive that it wasn't her. That just made things stranger, because I had no idea who else would be knocking on my door at this time. The only other person I could think of would be my best friend, Jazz. That would have probably been the case... if he wasn't working at the bookstore right now. Plus, he usually warns me with a text before coming over. I could have just simply ignored the door, but the knocking continued--even louder this time.

BAM!!! BAM!!! BAM!!!

"Oh. My. GOD!!!" I yelled. I dropped the knife, unrolled my sleeve, and quickly got up to get the door. As the knocking started to sound more like kicks against my door, I quickened my pace and checked through my door's peephole. Instead of seeing someone stand outside and patiently waiting for me to answer, I saw a bright green eye looking right back at me. I jumped back in surprise.

This was starting to get fucking creepy.

I carefully unlocked the door, still mentally debating whether I should be opening it or not. Without really much of a choice, I decided to open it. Judging by the persistency of the stranger's knocks, I had a feeling he wasn't going to be giving up anytime soon. When I quickly swung open the door, however, I ended up getting kicked in the shin.

I doubled over in pain, hands directly rubbing the area of my leg that got hit.

That's when I heard a somewhat high-pitched voice of a guy say, "Whoops! Oh my Gosh! I'm so sorry!"

I looked up to see a very white rabbit in a dark gray hoodie and skinny dark-colored jeans standing right in front of me. Looking back down, I saw that he had on a pair of white, pointy-toed sneakers... which happened to explain why my shin was now bleeding beneath my jeans. "What the hell???" I yelled, spit flying out of my mouth from both anger and pain. "Were you just kicking my door???"

The rabbit just stood there, no longer wearing a frown. Instead, he showed a dumb smile that revealed his perfectly straight, pearl-white teeth. "Well, yeah, but only because you weren't answering."

Oh, so that's why. "Well, I opened the door," I said, still bent over to caress my aching shin but looking right up at him. "So what's the Goddamn emergency, huh?" I didn't even know the guy. What the hell could he possibly want? He just happened to interrupt my eighth cut.

"Oh, not an emergency, really," he said, smiling as if he hadn't just... oh, I don't know... kicked someone in the leg? "I just wanted to say hi." The expression on my face must have been priceless, because my mind was just at a loss at the moment. I must have looked somewhat annoyed, because he suddenly got the hint that nothing he said was making any sense. "I live next door to you now."

After a while I nodded, finally understanding something. "Oh," I said, remembering that my last neighbors had just recently moved out. Rumor was that the old couple who lived next door to me traded places with a guy who had a really nice condo, but couldn't pay for it anymore.

So this was that guy, I thought to myself. It was weird because I was expecting an older, polished business-type guy to be the one moving from the condo to the apartment next to me. Instead, the bunny standing in front of me looked really young--probably even around my age. This couldn't be right.

"So," I asked, standing up straight now. My shin still hurt, but my back was starting to ache from being bent over for so long. "You and your parents moved in next door to me now, huh?"

"Um, not exactly." He kicked his feet at the ground. "My father lives somewhere else. It's just me that moved in."

I noted that he just mentioned his father, which could probably mean that he didn't have a mother anymore. "College student?" I asked.

"No," he said. "I'm not going to school right now."

That's odd, I thought. "So... how old are you?" I asked, crossing my arms. This was a complete waste of my time, but I decided not to be rude and just have a short conversation with him.

At this question, his ears flattened back over his head and pursed his lips. Was he actually... thinking? After a moment of silence, he answered, "Twenty-one."

"Are you sure?" I asked, raising one of my eyebrows. "It just seemed like you weren't sure how old you were." I know I was being a little bit of a douchebag now, but this kid was getting way too weird. When he nodded, I gave a slight shrug. "Well, I'm eighteen, and I just started going to the Seattle Community College. I'm actually a little jealous that you don't go to school."

"Well, I don't think you should be jealous of me for something like that." He smiled when he said this. At this point, my eyes ended up wandering right into his eyes. They were so green... like a pool of lime juice. My eyes then wandered to his nose, which was really pink. I had to admit, it looked really cute. I just wanted to reach out and squeeze it... but knew better not to. That would have made me seem weird.

My eyes finally ended up wandering to his mouth. His lips looked soft, and his smile was nice to look at. It was a perfect smile--the kind that models and actors had. I realized my breath hastened for some reason, and my chest started to beat really fast, so I shook my head and cleared my throat as if I was getting a cold from standing in the doorway. Now that I thought about it, I was starting to get really cold. The rain fell even heavier now, and parts of the lawn of the apartment complex formed little lakes of rainwater.

I mentally kicked myself for staring at him like an idiot for so long. He could probably tell that I was gay now. As a matter of fact, he'd be an idiot if he couldn't... which I wouldn't completely rule out because he went on talking as if he didn't notice that I practically stared at him obscenely like some creepy pervert. "I'm glad that my neighbor's a fox," he added in the middle of our awkward silence.

I stared at him for a while with narrowed eyes, after I wiped the drool from the corner of my mouth. "Why is that?"

"I never really ever knew one," the rabbit said. "But I hear that they're really fun to hang out with. Supposedly foxes have a great sense of humor."

I shook my head slowly with a little smirk that my mom called my "_smartass"_ smirk. "Well, you should know that there is an exception to every stereotype." I was just about to tell him that I was the one exception when I looked over our fenced third floor balcony and noticed a black jeep roll into the apartment parking lot.

It was my mom's car.

"Shit," I said beneath my breath. A cold chill suddenly ran down my spine as I remembered about the knife, alcohol and gauzes left lying around in my bedroom. If my mom was smart--which she is--she'd figure out what was going on and have a complete stroke!

"What's wrong?" the rabbit asked, now looking worried with his ears flat against his head again.

"Nothing," I said quickly. "It was nice meeting you... uhhh..."

"Cirrus," he said, smiling his perfect little smile again.

"Yeah, whatever, I gotta go now. It was nice talking to you though." Before he could say anything, I grabbed for the door and slammed it right in his face. Not feeling sorry at all for my rudeness, I dashed to my room, grabbed all of the stuff I had set up before the dumb rabbit came over, and hurriedly placed them in their rightful places. I was literally in a battle against time, because I knew it did not take long to walk up those three flights of stairs. Just as I put the knife back into its kitchen drawer, the door swung open and my lovely mother--the great Nurse Sommers--walked in.

Drenched in rain, my mom pulled back the hood of her raincoat and looked right at me leaning against the kitchen counter. I knew I probably looked a little too casual, but I just went along with the facade.

"Hey, mom," I said, smiling as cherubically as I could. I sounded a little out of breath and had to control my body from shaking too much, but I managed to look somewhat calm. Or, at least she wasn't paying too much attention to find my behavior suspicious. "You're home early today. What happened?" This was true, because my mom always worked until seven at night at the Seattle Children's Hospital, and even then she never usually got home until about 7:30. I looked over at the clock in our living room and saw that she was home two hours earlier than that.

"Hey, Paris," she said as she set her tote bag filled with her nursing clothes on the couch and started taking off her rain jacket. "Well, a new girl at the hospital decided to take my shift today. Usually I would be the one training the new nurses, but for some reason I felt really tired today. I guess I need to start making coffee in the morning again."

"Yeah, you really should," I said, but immediately felt stupid when the words left my mouth because it made me sound really rude to my own mom. Why did I just repeat what she just already said she was going to do?

But my mom didn't seem to find my blabbering out-of-the-ordinary at all. "By the way, Paris, I saw you talking to a boy when I was driving in. Who was that?"

I wanted to sigh, but decided it would just make her ask more questions about him. "I don't know. Some guy named Cirrus. He just moved in next door to us and wanted to say hi. That's all."

"Oh, so he's the one who traded for the apartment next to us," she mused. I just nodded. "Well, that's nice. Anyways, I'm going to take a shower now, and then go straight to bed."

"Definitely," I said as she started making her way to her bedroom. "You deserve it." Once I heard her door shut, I let out a loud sigh. Today was such a close call. The last thing I needed right now was for my mother to know that her own son slit his own his wrists. I clenched my fists as I thought of Cirrus, who ruined a perfectly-planned evening. It was just such a coincidence that he knocked on the door just when I was about to go through with it.

It was a really strange coincidence, but a coincidence nonetheless. I mean, it was a coincidence... right? How could he have possibly known what I was doing? I shook my head as I headed back to my room, not thinking about it as much as I should have.

--

Next door to Paris, Cirrus was stripping down to his underwear--ready to take a shower. As he walked into the bathroom, he pulled down his tight purple trunks and walked up to the full-length body mirror hanging on the wall by the bathtub. Looking at his reflection, he smiled at the adorable reflection of a white bunny staring right back at him.

"I look just like a rabbit," he said under his breath. Even though he's been in the body for a few weeks, he still couldn't believe how normal he looked... or how great he looked, for that matter. His snow-colored body was skinny, but also very toned. He ran his fingers over his tummy, loving how smooth his short fur felt. The hand gradually slid down his stomach and down to his soft penis. After playing around a little with the head and cupping his ample, furry balls, the length of it was starting to grow longer and harder. As he started stroking the shaft, it grew to its full length. Looking back into the mirror, he admired at the 7 inches of rabbit meat that stood proudly out.

Although Cirrus did look a lot like an actual rabbit, there were still parts of his original form that stayed with him through the transformation. As Cirrus turned around to look at his back with the mirror, he shook his head with disappointment as he saw a pair of small, but completely functional, white angel wings. With a minimum amount of effort, Cirrus was able to flap them a little and a few feathers that fell off started floating around him.

With the right clothes, I should be able to hide these, he thought. No one could know that he was an angel, because that would mean he would have to leave Earth with his job unfinished. Cirrus was an angel sent to look after Paris Sommers. He knew everything about Paris. He knew about the depression, the self-hatred, and his suicidal thoughts. He knew all about the cuts that Paris implemented on his own wrists to drown out the pain he felt everyday... with no one to turn to when he woke up from the nightmares.

The memories of a certain event that changed his life forever.

Cirrus knew exactly what Paris had gone through, and knew that all he needed was somebody who understood him... and somebody to protect him and make him feel wanted.

As Cirrus stepped into the bathtub and turned on the shower, the image of Paris standing in front of him for the first time today flashed across his mind. Cirrus paid attention to every detail of Paris. Paris was only a few inches taller than him and even though Paris was probably just as skinny as Cirrus, he had a very lean body with muscles that stretched out through his tight sweater--especially around the arms. Cirrus thought his black-socked paws were adorable, and found his dark gray eyes so erotically mesmerizing--so deep as if there is so much more inside him than the surface can show. He also had such strong facial features that made him seem so tough, but still had enough femininity to it to make him look cute at the same time--even when he looked so serious. Just the image of Paris made Cirrus' cock throb, and immediately he shook his head to shake away the thoughts.

He wasn't supposed to be feeling this way toward Paris. His job on Earth was simple: to watch over him and make sure he doesn't kill himself. Well, he did do his job perfectly today. He knocked on his door and interrupted him from cutting himself again. That is pretty much all he was ordered to do. This was all strictly business.

Cirrus looked down at his cock to see that his erection hadn't subsided. He shook his head and started putting shampoo in his hair. As he lathered the shampoo into his scalp, he thought about the feelings he felt toward Paris. What if all Paris needs is someone else to replace Shannon? he thought to himself. Would that make him not want to hurt himself anymore? Would that make him not feel so alone anymore? At this thought, Cirrus rinsed away all of the shampoo from his hair and just stood there under the water, expressionless. Is it possible that I could save Paris and... get what I want, too?

He didn't want to answer that question. Instead, he washed his body, got out of the tub, dried himself off, and then went straight to bed. He'd deal with his own problems, but only after he helped Paris with his.