Another Red Riding Hood Parody
Story by Isaac Cahn on SoFurry
hello, people of the internet. here is another prompt story I did, because it has been so long since I did one and this one manage to get me to write something down. the actual idea of the story is something dumb I thought up because I have an odd sense of humor and thought it might have been something that I could use to try and overcome some issues I have in my writing.
now just for the records, this isn't the first time I did a parody of little red riding hood. while this story makes fun of just how sexualized the story can be. i actural do have a story that plays it more straight, which is the link in the description if you are interested in that. fair warning, it is a very old story of mine, so it is very different form how I write now, so be prepared.
This Week's Writing Challenge: Write an alternate version of a fairy tale
my first parody: https://www.sofurry.com/view/1005789
Once upon a time, there was a girl named little red riding hood. Despite being 18, everyone called her little because she was a bit small for an adult, at only 5’5, and she has always seen in a red hood her grandma gave her.
One day, Red’s mother gave her a basket, “Now little Red,” the mother said, “deliver these goodies to grandma’s house. Make sure to stay on the path and do not talk to strangers.” Red took the basket of goodies and headed down into the woods.
As she skipped down the path, a pair of eyes watched her. They belonged to the Big Bad Wolf that lived in the forest. His mouth watered at the thought of getting those goodies in his mouth. He stalked Little Red as she skipped along the path.
As Little Red paused at the fork in the road, trying to remember which way led to grandma’s house, the wolf comes from his hiding spot and approached her. “Why hello there,” the wolf said, a charming smile on his face, “you seem a bit lost there.”
Little Red turned around and gasped, “oh my, I know who you are. You are the Big Bad Wolf.”
“Seems my reputation reached your ears, little lady.” the wolf's once pleasant smile turned predatory, “if you know me, then you know what I want.”
“Yes, I am aware,” Red said, “you want to fuck me.”
The wolf dropped his smile and just gave a flat, “what?”
“Yes, I am aware of the stories. All the stories of you leading maidens and lads away from the path to fuck them as the animal you are, you beast.” Red clasped her hands together, “it is said your seed is so potent, then even the men will carry your children to term and that they will return to bear more of them. Oh, how I dreamed of meeting you in this forest, Mr. Wolf.”
The wolf paused to process what he heard, “uh, I'm sorry but there must be some mistake. I am not the wolf you are thinking about.”
“But you are, Mr. Wolf. I have been through this forest many times to look for you and here you are before me.” as she said this, Red undid her skirt, showing off that she was wearing nothing underneath it.
The wolf shielded his eyes, “I just remembered I have to be somewhere now. Good day,” the wolf made a mad dash into the woods, putting as much distance as he could between himself and Red.
Red picked up her skirt and chased after the wolf, determined to get that dick she heard about.
An hour of running later, the wolf believed he had finally shaken off Red. He leaned on a tree, out of breath and sweaty. “What was wrong with her,” the wolf asked himself, “most people just run in fear when they see me. And what the fuck was with those stories? I never fucked anyone before. Why would I even do that? I’m Ace.”
Red’s voice called out, “Mr. Wolf. Mr. Wolf. where are you? I want to feel that cock of yours in my pussy. I promise I am clean and STD free.”
The wolf panicked at the sound of the voice, “she just doesn’t quit.” At the edge of the forest, the wolf saw a house. “Perfect, I will hide out there until that nymphomanic goes away.” the wolf ran to the house, hoping that he could get there unseen. The wolf knocked on the door, “anyone home? I need some help here.”
A minute later, an old lady in a floral robe opened the door, “oh my, what do we have here?”
The wolf moved past the old lady and closed the door behind him, “Sorry, grandma, but I need a place to lay low for a while and yours was the best place I could find.”
“Oh my, you’re being chased. No need to worry about a thing, dearie, grandma here will protect you. Oh, why not let me get you some tea? You look like you ran a marathon to get here.” the old lady goes into the kitchen.
“Thanks,” the wolf sat in one of the chairs, giving his muscles a break from all the running he did. He looked around the foyer and saw the pictures and knick-knacks that filled the room. The wolf thought about stealing some stuff but shook those thoughts out of his head. As bad as he was, even the wolf wouldn’t steal from a grandma.
From the kitchen, the old lady yelled, “may I ask who you were running from?”
“A strange girl in a red hood. She wanted to get in my pants for some reason when I tried to get that basket she was carrying.” the wolf moved from his chair to the window, checking for any signs of Red nearby.
“My my, it seems you have a bit of a lady problem on your hand, dearie. Young ladies are much more outgoing than I was their age. They are so much more comfortable with their sex nowadays that they take charge in relationships now. They scare the men off with their confidence.”
“Trust me, that has nothing to do with my problem now.”
The grandma walks into the room, “Well, never mind the younger girls, I am sure you prefer the charm of a much older lady anyway.”
As the wolf turned to her, his mouth was agape at what he saw. The robe she answered the door with was replaced by black lacy panties. A bra held her firm breasts in place.
Seeing where this was going, the wolf ran to the door and swung it open. Only to see Red walking up the path. She sees the wolf standing in the doorway and smiles, “Mr. Wolf.”
The wolf slammed the door closed and blocked it with his body.
The grandma smiled, “oh that sounded like my granddaughter, she is such a sweet young thing, isn’t she?”
“Sweet Nothing lady! She's the one chasing me!” the wolf yelled.
There was a pounding on the door, “Mr. Wolf, Mr. Wolf, let me come in. I want to rub that hairy chinny chin chin you have.”
“Oh my, she must have scared you, dearie. Let me speak with her,” the grandma moved the wolf aside and opened the door.
When Red saw her grandma, she gave the old lady a big hug, “Grandma,” she said. She turned her head and noticed the wolf, who stood on the other side of the room, “oh Mr. Wolf, are you here to see grandma as well? Why didn’t you tell me, we could have walked together.”
“Now now, sweetie, Mr. Wolf told me you scared him on his way here by being forward with him. You owe him an apology.”
“But grandma,” Red whined, “it's the wolf I have been looking for. The one with the really good dick.”
Grandma gasped, “My word, young lady, who told you such filth? You are supposed to be demure and submissive if you want a man.”
“Grandma, nobody is like that nowadays. You have to go full-throated and grab the guy by the nuts to get a boyfriend.”
“Such language, it's no wonder our wolf here ran away from you.” the grandma gestured to an empty spot where the wolf once stood.
Both grandma and granddaughter looked puzzled until they heard the door at the back of the house shut. They ran to the back entrance, but the wolf was already out of sight by the time they got there.
Deep in the woods, the wolf lay on the ground, “what was up with those crazy people? Why the fuck were they acting like it was some sort of porno? Am I being set up? Whatever it is, I am leaving these woods before someone else shows up looking for my dick.”
And so, the big bad wolf moved to the city and never saw little red riding hood or grandma again, and lived happily ever after.