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The Golden Stag, episode six: Extreme Makover

Written by Jaeger Dominus

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Eagle Snow, shocked, ran into me as soon as I stepped out. More unfortunately, she ran into me as soon as Jaguar Verde exited.

"Oh my, Fawn Prince. You haven't leveled up yet?"

Her joke that I couldn't get a woman off. I found it odder that the joke implied I got laid. Honestly? A compliment.

Jaguar Verde said nothing, smirked, walked off.

"She didn't bring her armor?" she asked. "Saucy. Through the group--"

"No," I said. "I just met her to my amnesiac self."

Eagle Snow, who had a beak-hat like Corvid Mother, frowned. I wondered what their hats meant. Were different forms only superficial for some?

"I don't even know why I chose this form," I said.

"Well, we knew you were at least an undermak," she said. "That's why we slipped you into our band, which is not seen as a male humak profession."

"That's bad... why?" I asked.

"Because why risk dragging the biggest prize to small nations wanting to grow around? We have been in danger of being attacked after recruiting you, and then you didn't level up either, keeping your more... androgynous form."

I looked nothing like the actual fawn prince I saw when I entered my tent.

"I look like a guy--"

"Because that's your lack of humakness you're showing. That's nudity."

"Wait," I said, "I can turn it off and on?"

"You forgot how to change it. Oh Lafayette brace me from stupidity. Take note of yourself."

I saw my puddle-reflection. "Got it, next?"

"Imagine you're the person you saw in your past."

"I don't remember exactly--"

"That's essentially the clothing, you're in your underwear in human only terms."

I imagined something. I had human hands, human feet, and I took little deer claws for my fingers. Maybe the toes too. colored body, give it enough fur to not be a pain in the ass while still looking Humak decent. My normal face, but my nose was colored something else, and I keep the cool fawn ears. They heard so well, why give them up? But I wanted them where my old ears were, and that was the last I could think of.

"Alright."

"Now open them."

I looked down. Exactly as I imagined, and just as well.

"You chose the equivalent of lingerie, Fawn Prince, you made it worse!"

"Can I have antlers?" I asked. "I had them before."

"Before?" Eagle snow asked, "Before what?"

"Before I came here."

"That's only if you level up," she replied. "I don't remember you having them."

"You've certainly chose an attractive form," Eagle snow said.

I looked to the puddle again. I smiled. I looked damn good and sensible. Just what the Humak thought was modest.

"...And then he started changing his Humak-levels!" was the first snippet of a conversation I caught immediately after glancing down. The other mercenaries of the troupe were giggling at me. They were the other half of our group, three loner Humaks that were from a different agency but operated solo. They were hired, my troupe was assigned.

I didn't even notice their animal traits at first. I just noticed that they were of a different group.

"I'm still studying if I'm going to level up with my girlfriend," I said to save face. In retrospect, knowing nothing about culture, that could have been an insult. But in my head knowing that leveling up was related to getting laid meant it was clear that I was virile.

It didn't work.

"Yeah," A head member said, Jenitha, who had a sheep's head to wear. "You still haven't leveled up. You're the parasite to us all. Like we'd get with you and get stuck that way."

I shrugged. "You know who my girlfriend is, right?" I asked.

"The gutter-girl is not someone you just bragged about," the other said, one with a mare's mane down her head like a mohawk.

The third one hid in the back for a while, But I heard their voices. A new contractor? I didn't see them. I saw a possum's tail.

A tail?

"Wait," I said, "Who's that?"

An opossum's head popped up, the size of a human's. "Hi! New recruit, underdeveloped spells still. Excited to be here--"

That wasn't who they meant, right?

"Is she my girlfriend?" I asked. "She's cute."

She stood blushing. The mare humak sighed.

"No, he's not all there yet," she said to her. "Calm down."

"So who is it?" I asked.

"You haven't put it together yet dumbass?" Tannie's voice cried from across the camp.

It was her?

"But you broke my heart!"

She stopped her charge. And her breath caught. And then she stared to the ground, that raccoon-girl Tannie. She stared deep at the ground as if the soul of the earth was speaking to her.

"But that was normality---"

"You tried to kill me," I said. "I know you're attractive, but I won't give you my life."

Everyone in the camp went quiet. The loners kept giggling.

"Hey, Tannie!" The mare said.

"What is it, Sharry?"

"Who was it that our manager chastised us for damaging the Humak prematurely? Who was the person who convinced you to explore normality together, causing him to leave still disoriented? Who's the person that left him confused and knowing NOTHING about who you are?"

Tannie nodded.

"Here's a hint, they had benefited every single WAY by everything happening. But this was a half-mak, not just an undermak. He had no control over his humakness yet! You caused him to panic a few days into entering. And, worst of all, you expect him to still stay by you. Get out here."

Oh, those were actual things that happened, I thought. But something told me she wasn't bad.

"Don't do anything rash yet, Fawn," she said. "I could have loved you in both forms. But I guess things are strained now."

"Yeah," I said. "You think?"

Everyone else in the area was silent. I realized, somehow, that quip did not help.

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Liking the story so far? Let me know in the comments or DM'S! A single message keeps me in the game for a week longer!

I'm eventually aiming to get this posted into a novel format on Kindle Unlimited, with a paperback edition! Stay tuned for more of the Golden Stag.

Commission me for writing projects! My Comm's are open, simply DM me for details!

See ya soon!

--Jaeger Dominus