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"Coming Up! Tempers flare as the auction heats up.

'Twenty-five!'

'Twenty-five-fifty!'

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"And later... P-Dog finds more than he bargained for in his brand new car.

'What's... oh, <bleep>!'

"That's all coming up after these commercial messages, so stay tuned for more... Civil Forfeiture!"

Jamie sighed, the cat curling up his knees as he pulled his large hoodie over his bare legs. "Right." He smiled, sardonically. "What are we betting the surprise is, this time?"

Lane, the chubby bear on the opposite end of the couch, shrugged. "Well, it's P-Dog. Dude mugs for the camera over the slightest little thing."

In between the two, Maddie sat with the sort of deflated lack of care that could only come from being three hours into yet another marathon of Civil Forfeiture. "I bet he's just shocked to find there's seats in there," the tiger quipped.

Jamie laughed. "'Oh, shit!'" he exclaimed, in a slightly passable imitation of the actor. "'Is that a sound system? That drug dealer really splurged, putting a radio in this car."

Sprawled out on the floor, in front of them, Zander and Polly were entwined in each other's arms and legs. The two collies had stopped paying attention to the screen, three or four commercial breaks ago, and were instead amusing themselves by making out, and whispering incredibly charged things into each other's ears. This had been a common enough occurrence, to the point where the others had all sort of silently agreed that they would just let the two lovebirds do whatever.

Maddie sighed. "Do you think these guys make any sort of money actually doing their job?"

"What do you mean?" Lane asked.

"Like, do you think they're turning a profit actually pawning off criminals' shit, or do they just keep themselves afloat by... by, uh..." The tiger snapped her fingers, scowling. "...fuck, what's the word I'm looking for?"

"Syndicating?" Jamie offered.

Maddie pointed at the cat, in acknowledgment. "Yeah. That. By doing that."

"Man, they better hope not," Lane said, with a laugh, "since cable's dying, and all."

Polly said something that caused the ears to flatten, on top of Zander's head. "Y-you think we should?" he whispered. Polly only smiled, as her hand began to find its way into his jacket and down his chest.

Jamie shook his head. "If that's the case, then the fact they can still make more episodes is probably our fault."

Maddie huffed, pushing her way between the two males as she leaned back into her seat. "Who started this, anyway? When did we all decide that irony-watching reality TV marathons was a weekly tradition?"

"We could always do something else," Lane offered. "I got an entire bookcase full of videos, in my room, we could bust out."

"No way!" The tiger folded her arms, in mock indignation. "I have to find out what P-Dog found in that car. I'm on the edge of my seat."

"Besides," Jamie added, "Trying to find anything, the way you organize your collection, is an exercise in madness." His ear twitched, as he broke eye contact to feign interest in the TV screen. "And, half of your stuff is just porn, anyway."

Zander had one hand cradling his girlfriend's head, but the other one was clamped around Polly's rump. Polly, for her part, was making a great show of distracting the dog with the smolder of her eyes, the gentle goading tone of her voice, in order to cover the awkward way she was pulling at his belt. Zander found his hand slipping under her skirt, where he was greeted with warm, damp fur where he expected there to be cloth. His eyes widened. She really wasn't wearing underwear today...

"Hey, man. That's not fair." Lane scratched the back of his head, in embarrassment. "It's not... like... half porn."

"It's close enough," Jamie replied. "Pretty sure you're single-handedly keeping the professional porn industry alive."

"Hey, man. I didn't hear you complaining, when the internet went down and you were looking for spank material."

A shock rolled through the cat's entire body. "Th..." He looked to Maddie, helplessly. "That... that didn't happen."

The tiger's eyes narrowed. "Is that right?" Turning, she slapped the back of her hand against the bear's stomach. "Stop being a jerk, Lane." Her face broke into a grin. "You can't say that, and leave me hanging. What did he ask for?"

"M-Maddie!"

Lane smiled, deviously. "Oh, just a couple of girl-on-girl things. Lots of oral action."

"That's not true!" Jamie protested, his face nearly fit to combust. "He's bullshitting you, Maddie. For fuck's sake..."

Maddie started to cackle. "I dunno. Methinks the kitty doth protest too much."

Jamie hid more and more of his body inside of his large hoodie, as he curled into himself in the corner of the couch. "F... fucking whatever. Like I gotta explain anything to you guys."

"You don't," Lane said. "We're fucking with you, man." When no response followed, the bear tried again, more seriously. "Come on, dude. You've seen all the shit I'm into. Why do you think I'd care?"

Jamie huffed, looking away. As his eyes trailed down, however, it was at the precise moment Polly was fishing Zander's erect canine cock out of his pants. The cat, stunned, looked from them to the two on the couch.

"Oh, shit..." Maddie leaned forward. "Speaking of not caring, you two are really doing that, here?"

"What's that?" Polly spoke up. "I can't hear you over the sound of my boyfriend's cock in my hand."

Zander was clearly about to say something as well, but nothing but a breathy moan came out, and he thought better of trying again.

"Well, shit. All right." With a shrug, the tiger leaned back in her seat. "Beats the hell out of what I was originally watching."

Lane chuckled. "Hell yeah. You wanna give us a show, Z?"

Jamie turned his attention, grimly, to the television screen. There, he could watch perfectly normal things. Two actors pretending to have a serious beef with each other over worthless crap. All the cat had to do was ignore the writhing shapes at the bottom of his vision, especially when they started moaning and thrusting. He bit his lower lip.

"Looks like you were right."

"What?" Jamie started.

Maddie nodded to the screen. "P-Dog was getting excited over the car's stereo."

The cat started to respond, but the sound of a husky moan below him caused his fur to stand on end. Clearing his throat, he gave an uneasy smile. "Guess I've been paying too much attention."

"Guess so."

For a while, conversation died down to nothing more than the occasional scoff at the TV. The only sound was the punchy-faux dramatic music on the screen, the heavy breathing of the dogs on the floor, and the occasional shuffle on the end of the couch, as Lane tried to make room for the lump growing in his shorts. Zander's head popped up at the bottom of Jamie's vision, as the two dogs settled into a full bore missionary position. The dog began to fuck his girlfriend, openly and in earnest, and soon the sound of their mingled pleasure began to drown out everything on the TV except for the occaisonal censored swear word.

"Hot damn." Lane chuckled, his voice deep and purring, as he looked down at Zander, watching the dog's ass, half out of his jeans, flex and swell with every thrust. "Gotta say, Z, I'm liking this side of you."

Maddie and Jamie looked over, to see Lane absently fondling the tent in his pants and grunting. Maddie smirked. Jamie, however, reflexively tugged at his hoodie, trying to hide his face behind the hood of his sweater. "Wh-what are you doing, man?" The cat cried.

"Huh? What's it look like?" Lane didn't take his eyes off of the two dogs, as he proceeded to shamelessly fish his cock out of his pants.

"That's messed up, man," Jamie complained, with a toothless tone. "You can't do that to your friends."

"So, what?" Lane grinned, wolfishly. "It's totally fine to watch complete strangers go at it, but touching yourself to your friends is somehow a step too far?"

Zander's ears perked. "W-wait. Lane, you're..." He slowed his thrusts, eventually coming to a stop. Unsure, he met Polly's eyes and whispered. "I-is he really...?"

Polly nodded, her lips pulling into a devilish grin. "You wanna see?"

Zander flinched. A half-dozen attempts to play off that question tried and failed to get started, in his mouth. The more he tried, the more embarrassed he seemed to get. Polly pulling herself into a seated position, pushing him back, and taking her position on top of him, was something of a small mercy. Of course, that mercy was tempered by the fact that the maneuver ended up with his head in the space between the bear's feet, which meant that all he had to do was look just a bit up and to the left to get a clear line of sight to the underside of Lane's belly, the inside of his thighs, and... he tried to delay getting a look at that thick, heavy cock as long as possible, but once his eyes fell on it, he felt himself licking his chops.

Lane, seeing the look of awe on the dog's face, grunted. "What's up, Z? Like something you see?"

Zander started, suddenly looking over to Polly. "Uh, h-hey. You can start moving now." With a chuckle, Polly began to make slow, careful circuits of the dog's length, and Zander, for his part, put his hands on her thighs and made a big show of how much attention he was giving his girlfriend, and only his girlfriend.

Jamie tried his best to turn into a ball, on the end of the couch. The hoodie jiggled, at the point where his knees were tucked into it, as he began to jitter with nervous energy. "This is getting out of control," he muttered.

"Kinda," Maddie agreed, "but hey. Beats the hell out of Civil Forfeiture."

Jamie didn't have a response. His thighs rubbed together, ears flat against his head, as he took in everything going on in front of him. A weight against his side pushed him further into the armrest, threatened to pull his hoodie out from where he had stretched it under his feet. He looked over at Maddie, who seemed to be using his body to lean on, as she worked to loosen her own pants. "Mads," he whined. "Not you, too. Come on."

"Hey, when in Rome," Maddie replied, grunting as she shucked her pants down past her hips. Exposing her already damp slit, she began to make small, stoking passes against its outside, with her fingers. Looking back, she raised an eyebrow at the cat. "You know, nothing's stopping you from joining in."

"I..." Jamie shuffled, determined to keep himself ensconced in fabric. "I'm good."

"Doesn't look like you're good," Lane remarked.

"You're not one to talk, Lane!" Jamie huffed. "You just want a free show."

Lane laughed. "I mean, if you're offering to do that. I don't wanna press, or anything, but I'm always down to see your puss."

The entire hoodie surrounding the cat trembled, all at once. Jamie looked over Maddie's head, eyes boring a hole into Lane's skull even as the rest of his face pulled back in scandalized horror."

"Wait," Polly looked over at the bear. "Did you say Jamie's puss?"

"Fuck, dude..." Jamie whispered.

Lane looked from the cat, to all the other people around the room. Sitting there, with his dick in one hand, he met Jamie's eyes, with concern. "Was... was that still a secret?"

"Fuck, dude!" Throwing the hood over his head, Jamie retreated almost entirely into his hoodie.

"Yo, I'm sorry, man! I thought you were gonna be more open about that, after you showed it to me last year."

"That didn't mean I was just gonna tell everyone!" Jamie's muzzle was the only thing that poked out of the fabric tent he had built around himself. "And that... that was one time. I was drunk, and..."

"Hey, hey, hey, hey..." Maddie interjected. "All right, guys. Calm down. You're gonna get the neighbors pissed at us."

Another silence fell on the room, more awkward than the last. It was so heavy, that the sudden keening wail from the TV caused Maddie and Jamie to flinch. P-Dog was on screen, currently in the middle of his signature, profanity-laden monologues that were far too explicit for cable. Zander chuckled, partially out of nervousness.

Polly looked around the room, then sighed. "Right." Looking down, she put her hands on Zander's chest and smirked. "Hon, what do you say we shut Lane up, for a few minutes?"

"How are we...?" Zander saw the answer to his question, in the mischievous glint in her eyes. Ears flat against his head, he looked from her, to the length of meat still in the bear's hand. "Are... are you serious?"

Lane, perhaps too eager for a chance to change the subject, looked down at the two with a raised eyebrow. "You're not suggesting that... oh, hey." He leaned back, as there was suddenly a collie between his knees. "Uh... you gonna be okay, Z? It's not like I'm packing light, here."

"Don't worry about him," Polly remarked, sitting back on the carpet and tracing idle circles around her clit. "Zander's been practicing at home, with a few of my toys. Haven't you, honey?"

Zander whined.

As the dog began to bury his face in Lane's crotch, Maddie looked back to the bundle of black fabric. "You know you're fine, right?" she asked. "If you were looking for someone to be weird about that, this is probably the worst room to be in."

Jamie sighed. "I... I know. I just..."

"Yup. Don't gotta say nothing." Scooting back, Maddie put her head on his shoulder, or at least where she guessed his shoulder to be. She could hear the hitch in his voice, the thrum of blood in his veins. "If you need to go find some privacy, nobody's gonna say anything."

"Um..." Jamie's eyes poked out from under the hood, fixed on the sights of sex, around him. "I'm... fine. Really."

The tiger could feel the rhythmic flex of an arm muscle, under her, could smell a rising, unfamiliar scent of arousal. She smirked, but didn't say anything.

"How's he taste, babe?" Polly taunted, at the back of her boyfriend's head. Zander didn't respond, didn't even change the tempo as he bobbed up and down. Polly's expression deflated. "Babe?"

"No use," Lane gasped, as he gripped the collie's headfur for dear life. "He's totally glassy-eyed. S-sucking on me like he's in a trance."

"Oh, fuck." Polly's expression was slightly concerned. "Not again."

"What do you mean ag-aaaaaah...?" Suddenly, Lane could feel hot muzzle down the entire length of his cock. Looking up at the ceiling, he bit his lip, spilling an early bounty of precum down Zander's throat. "Z? Z, slow down, man. You're gonna make me..."

"Yeah, there's no point doing that," Polly responded, as she leaned back and resumed frigging herself. "He's not getting off you until you feed him, so you might as well just roll with it."

"Fuck... f-fuuuuuck..." Lane wasn't much longer after that. Fingers curling into Zander's headfur, he spread his knees and bucked upward, loosing the first of what would become a storm of seed into the dog's mouth. Zander, with a triumphant and greedy whine, began to swallow almost as fast as the bear could provide him with that hot, salty cum.

Maddie chuckled. "That's lovely."

Jamie didn't respond. The entire hoodie tent began to shake and twitch. He bit his lower lip as hard as he could, but it wasn't enough to suppress the pleasured growl that rumbled out of his throat. When the shakes subsided, he took a few breaths. Then, weakly, he said "I'm sorry, Maddie. Did you say something?"

Polly sighed. "Well, you certainly handled the real thing better than I thought you would. How you feeling, babe?"

Zander withdrew from the bear's softening length, gasping against the hot flesh as he struggled to catch his breath. "He's so big..."

Lane chuckled, half-deliriously. "Yes, he is."

"Well, he's going to be distracted, for a few minutes," Polly remarked, with an air of resignation. Turning her head to Maddie, she spread her legs a little further. "What do you say, Mads? Feel like polishing each other off?"

"I'm good. Don't need to finish, right now. Besides..." Maddie reached an arm to wrap around Jamie's opposite shoulder, pulling him close. "...I prefer men."

"Fair enough," Polly said, with a patent lack of disappointment, as she began to probe a finger into her depths. "In that case, I'll be... nngh... with you all in a minute."

Jamie's feet poked out from under the hoodie, followed by his legs. The edge of his thighs, just behind the fabric, were wet and matted with his passion. He met Maddie's eyes, uncertainly.

Maddie leaned in to whisper into the cat's ear. "I hope you're into giving as much as receiving."

Jamie's nervous laugh was answer enough, for her.

Next time, on Civil Forfeiture:

"P-Dog! What is this?"

"Pretty sweet, right?"

"You spent six thousand dollars on a life-sized mannequin of Opal Raines?"

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