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An Instructive Guide to Understanding Your Fellow Kobold

By Jake Halos

A Demonstration

In our first three chapters we covered the basics of kobold taming, which was all well and good... but I don't expect you to be wrangling in a kobold or two just from my words, no matter how wise they are. Vastly wise, if you were wondering.

No, it will not be so easy. More is required to mold my dear readers into the perfection I strive for. More is needed to achieve the ultimate goal of understanding your fellow kobold. But what is required? You surely heard the term practice makes perfect. Without practice, the material in this guide might as well be kindling to flame a fire--which would truly break my draconic heart.

With practice, however...

You'll have kobolds eating out of the palm of your hand. You'll have a pair of kobolds treating each of your paws with the upmost respect. You'll have a slew of the little runts licking and sucking at every place imaginable. And you'll love every second of it. I certainly am enjoying the three kobolds underneath my paws, not to mention the persistent kobold snuffling my sheath. Little guy loves it when his snout is coated in my scent.

So, we must practice, in the hopes that the above may come to fruition--only if you heed my written words carefully.

Chapter 4: Where Less is More, & Confidence is Key

Something an amateur might struggle with is trying too much. There's no need to exert yourself for any kobold's favor, and can actually hurt your advances by doing so. Kobolds are skittish creatures. They act unpredictably around strangers--even more unpredictably when the stranger is acting equally unpredictable. Not being yourself is the worst mistake you can make; as soon as they notice your overbearing awkwardness, at best they'll become suspicious, at worst make a run for the nearest exit. All this to say: play it cool.

Let's set the stage for our first demonstration.

To start with a realistic scene for most readers, I'd like us all to imagine sitting down at your local bar after a long week's work. A little tired and wishing for a beer or two to revive yourself, perhaps wishing for something more. Luckily you spot something more entering the bar. A little, lone kobold. Silver scales. Cute, stubby horns. Adorably large ears. Casual clothes for a casual night out. A perfect prize for you to claim.

Now, assume you are me--a luxurious dragon with refined tastes. Feels good, doesn't it? Being the apex specimen; that's how you must feel to find success. Surround yourself in that feeling, that raw power, become a radiant image of myself, observing this lone kobold from across the room. To test your understanding, I would like to present you with a few options, so that we may consider the ramifications they bring.

1. Meet the kobold halfway and begin flirting around with them.

2. Meet their gaze from the bar and wait for them to approach you.

We shall play out option one first, which involves me stepping away from the bar to meet the silver scales near the entrance. With a drink in hand, I'd start the conversation off with something like, "Hello lovely, mind if I buy you a drink? Or perhaps you'd be interested another drink..."

You know, like semen--in case you weren't following.

Not so bad, right? Only if you're looking to frighten the kobold into leaving as soon as they arrived. Too much. That's the problem. You're overdoing it. Comes off as unnatural, forced. I would never attempt such a desperate move unless I was just that--desperate. I haven't achieved my greatness through desperation. I've achieved my greatness by staying calm and collected, by being my greatest self.

Now let's explore the second option, still assuming you are me, of course. I have no reason to move from my seat at the bar. I'm comfortable, I'm nursing my drink, I'm enjoying my night. Yes, I do see the delectable kobold step into view, but there's no need to pursue what'll come to you instead. I know this'll happen because there's no one else to compare to my magnificence in the bar. I am the premiere patron. Who else will the kobold's gaze lock on other than my own?

It's only natural the kobold approaches me, our eyes meeting the entire time. I rub a finger along the rim of my glass, smirking down at the silver scales, knowing I've already won. Didn't have to move a muscle. Didn't even need to get off my ass. I did so by being my greatest self. Act like you deserve all the attention in the room, and you'll get it.

I should clarify--I'm_not_ not doing anything. You shouldn't be a limp fish just because you're the most dazzling figure on stage. I don't want to scare off my fellow readers that might not be so well endowed. Not every can be a dragon, yet I'll let you in on a little fun tidbit--you don't need to be a dragon to be the one in the spotlight. I've seen plenty of dragons, wolves, gryphons, and other creatures who should be on top of the food chain be bested by someone you'd never expect. I've seen a fox outmaneuver one of my own kind; that night, the dragon ended up on the wrong end of the leash!

It takes _confidence._It takes a certain certainty that you are the one and only, the absolute best of the best. I don't want to rule out any of my readers, but if you are not the biggest or baddest in the room and lack the confidence to make up for it, then I'm sorry; this just may not be the guide for you. I'm not saying you're a lost cause! More like--a potential Cinderella story in the making, if you're willing to shape yourself into something new with my guidance.

As I was saying, when I say that I didn't need to get up from my seat, that doesn't mean I'm doing nothing. Subtlety is key. As I mentioned, eye contact is an effective technique. Let them know you're more than interested in their arrival, but do so correctly. DO NOT wide eye stare at them like a murderer spotting their next victim! Practicing your sultry eyes in the mirror can make all the difference here.

How about some teasing? Toying with my drink. Flexing my toes. Opening my legs to let them see what I'm packing. A hand running down the inside of my thigh... you get the idea. Even the immediate brilliance of someone's looks can only get them so far. You must find ways to keep the lights on you without making them too glaring.

So far I've only discussed ways to physically woo over your target. As the kobold sits beside you--with a bit of effort scrambling up into the bar stool, all too adorable to watch--we can now discuss the verbal methods. Recall the first chapter's teachings; understanding the kobold's visual language.

No need to converse as you would normally, you're wasting your breath if you do. Yes, you can talk, a kobold can understand you as well as any other creature. Just make sure your communication is kept to one-way. What I mean by that is--instead of requests, make demands. I prefer a compliment or two, know that you adore their silver scales, tiny snout, plush tail, anything that'll help lower their inhibitions. Play off their visual cues. If they blush, push harder. If they are a bit more independent, perhaps even brattish, also push harder.

Really, in all scenarios, just push harder, but do so at your pace. They will bend to your will, so long as you don't overstep.

As I said, compliments are a good start, and a drink in their hands doesn't hurt either. If they seem to be rather simple-minded, you order a drink for them. Be persistent. Let them know they're in your care tonight. Once that gets through their kobold skull, they'll follow your every word, out the bar, and into your bed. If they look like they have their life together--their focus is sharp, their clothes are refined, their stature is straight, those sort of things--then perhaps they should be taking care of you.

I don't mean they should be left in change, I wouldn't dare suggest that! Perhaps a better way to word it--demand them to tend to your needs. I've learned these sorts of kobolds, while looking like they'd be harder to break, can break just as easily as the regulars. Don't get me wrong, they are the tougher ones to go for, if you're inexperienced, but they have their own weaknesses. Instruct them to buy a drink for both of you. Waste their resources on your pleasure. Getting under the scales of a wealthy kobold, which is quite a rare sight, can be very profitable.

Now you and the kobold are enjoying drinks together, which presents us a new set of choices to consider.

1. Get handsy with the kobold.

2. Get very handsy with the kobold.

I will admit, so long as you've made the correct first moves, either one of these is a viable option. To decide which one to go with, you need to get their feedback. A first touch will tell you all you need to know. If they're a bit jumpy, go slow. Let your fingers do the talking... though, you should also talk with your mouth as well. Let them know they're a good boy or girl, let them know they're doing exactly what they should be doing. Whisper suggestions of what you'd like to do with their little kobold body. Oh, I love how they twitch and squirm at that. Give it a try and you'll see what I mean.

Really, option one should roll into option two, once their inhibitions crumble under your tantalizing weight. Speaking of weight, now comes option two. Assert your dominance.

There are so many ways of doing this, and you can decide any path you wish, to be honest, but again I would implore you to consider their visual cues. What part of you are they glancing at when they think you aren't looking? Perhaps I see theme sneaking a peek at my paws. If so, the paws would go in their lap, with my complaining of a long day's work on my feet. If they aren't rubbing your toes immediately, then maybe you should get your eyesight checked, because kobolds _cannot_resist a good pair of paws to rub.

What if they are caught goggling my crotch? I'd extend an invitation to sit on my lap, which I'd then accept for them, picking their near-weightless body out of their seat. You may have thought I said weight in a metaphorical manner to imposing one's dominance, but I also meant literally, too. Lean into their body. Relax both arms on their shoulders. For you ladies, rest your heavy breasts on their horns; I saw that trick once, and it was highly effective. If you think that a kobold made into sentient bra would be too much, then you've learned nothing so far. Imposing your mass onto their own is such an easy way of claiming them as yours.

Treat them to a personal seat at the bar while you're treated to a personal lap dance--because you know their ass will be grinding back on you. Keep the drinks going, enjoy your personal time together, kneading your fingers into all different places of their body.

I would caution you not to overdo the drinking, for you and your claimed kobold both; don't want your kobold to be sleeping before you'd even left the bar, and you don't want to be so drunk that you end up falling on the poor kobold! I have made this mistake before--I'm surprised the kobold didn't suffocate overnight underneath my imposing bulk, but they're more resilient than they look. He claimed to have enjoyed it, actually...

Anyways, don't be afraid to get acquainted with their body. Learning what they like now can lead to more fun later. Eventually, you'll need to consider going somewhere private, as bars prefer their guests don't have sex out in the open. If you're feeling quick and dirty, the bathroom might be the way to go, but I'm always in it for the long con. My hoard can always expand further. If all goes well, you've smitten an unsuspecting kobold, enjoyed a few drinks, and leave the bar plus one. A night well spent and potential start of a very pleasant weekend.

Chapter 5: The Many Ways to a Kobold's Heart

What if you're caught someplace where a kobold would not be interested in your advances?

First off, there's no such thing. Kobolds are always interested. But I will admit that, depending on the environment, you may need to change your tactics a bit. This will take practice beyond the scenarios I provide, because I simply do not have the time or words necessary to fill in the gaps. The below examples will provide a good start, but you'll certainly need to do some trial-and-error testing beyond this guide.

Don't be afraid to fail. Learn from mistakes, do better the next time. I was not the perfect kobold wrangler from day one. Many failures came before my successes. I will not deny that I made blunders, yet I will follow up with the victories I've earned because I learned from my mistakes. The kobolds under my care are a testament to my growth. Don't think you're ever too good or too late to learn something new. I'm still learning every day from my pets.

Enough sappy talk from me, which probably made you halfway nod off. WAKE UP! If you could imagine that in a very loud voice that would jerk you awake, it'd be much appreciated.

Onto our next series of demonstrations. The scenery I'd like you to conjure is that of a library, a park, a community garden, or someplace equally quiet which interests you. You spot a kobold participating in a solo activity, not another soul in sight. The atmosphere is calm, the mood is relaxed, and a new set of options are presented for you to ponder.

1. Approach the kobold with the intent of sharing a bed.

2. Approach the kobold with the intent of sharing similar interests.

I hope I've made it blatantly obvious which of these choices is applicable in this situation. It goes to say, the places I've mentioned do not carry the same interests as a bar or nightclub would. Walking up to a kobold at the park with sultry eyes and an open invitation to pound town will not land you the results you're hoping for. To win over a kobold in broad daylight, must change how we interact with a kobold in broad daylight.

Like any species, kobolds have activities they enjoy participating in. Use this to your advantage. If you find a kobold reading at a coffee shop, consider that you might join them. Make some small advancements while the two of you enjoy the date you've imposed on them. You might share what you're reading, or ask for them to share instead. Note that you don't have to be interested in what they're reading, or even be able to understand what they're reading--kobolds have odd choices in taste--but you should act like you are!

Guage their interest in you, and move faster or slower based on how they respond. I should warn you that this can be a long process. When I said the word date, I meant it. You're essentially dating the kobold without them knowing it. Where hooking up with a kobold in a bar or club can be a gamble, camping out certain locations can refine your search. There are many kobolds in my hoard that I purposefully pursued for my own selfish gains.

Recall the second chapter's theme; kobolds are useful for many things! Need a cook? Cooking classes are a good bet, or having a keen eye at restaurants you frequent. Want a personal masseuse? Yoga lessons might get you somewhere. How about a kobold who can handle finances and grunt work of business ventures? A bit tougher to spot, but they're around. Knowing what you're looking for is a big step in finding your way into a kobold's heart. That's what this is all about--which way will you take?

You'll need dedication and interest that matches the kobold's energy. Run out of things to amuse them and they'll move on. Try to fake your interest and they'll see right through you. I've mentioned several things that might make you assume that kobolds have the mental capacity of an insect, but I must warn you that is not the case. Yes, they are easily swayed and controlled, but not easily tricked. They're smart, crafty, and can smell a bullshitter as easily as you and I.

So don't bullshit!

Shared interests are an important aspect of dating anyone, so of course it is equally important with kobolds! It will be tougher to date a kobold than to fuck a kobold, but the rewards are greater. Their devotion is greater. A long-standing relationship with a kobold will be much more impactful than taking one home from the club--not to say one is more right or wrong!

Back to our demonstration. Getting close to your kobold is a process that will take time and, more importantly, understanding of when to advance. Move too quickly, and all time spent will have been for naught. Moving too slow, though it is the lesser of two evils, can be equally disastrous. You have to judge for yourself where the middle lies. If they sit a bit closer on day, don't see that as a sign to ask them for sex right then and there, but do see it as an opportunity to wrap an arm around them. Remember, it's about breaking down their walls. It's about gaining their trust. I have trust in every one of my kobolds, and they trust me in return to care for them.

Once they're initiating--leaning their head against your chest, maybe reciprocating a few touches of their own--you make your move. A private session of yoga at home. A camping trip, just the two of you alone. Give them what they want--you. After the first time together, the bond should be complete, and let me tell you, there is nothing more satisfying than sealing the deal on a long-term relationship with a kobold.

Let's change scenery to one of my favorites: a gym. I've found out three interesting facts about gym-bolds that I'll share with you. The first two are no-brainers: kobolds that exercise have great stamina, and kobolds are attracted to other fitness enthusiasts. The third and most interesting is that they're freaks in the sheets. Don't ask me why, but they are, for whatever reason.

I have membership to several gyms that I frequent. I'll come at different times of the day, taking my time running through sets as I look for any potential targets. It can be a lot of pain for no gain--besides getting in shape, I suppose--but it's worth it when it does pay off. Finding my newly acquired target, I focus my workout time to that gym and that gym only, making my rounds every day to figure out their schedule.

While I'm learning their routine, I'm also introducing myself to them in small ways. I've just about got it down to a science: start by asking about using a machine they're currently on. Throw in a nonchalant compliment on their form to keep them motivated. Laugh about how we happen to have the same workout schedule. Help out with spotting, learning more about them while I'm doing so. Tell them a few things about myself, carefully curated to entice them.

Soon I start suggesting we workout together. They always agree to that, because it's nice to have a gym buddy. Sometimes they're the first to suggest it--love when that happens. All the easier to win over, and I eventually win them all over, which is a particular reason why I love the gym; even with many years' experience, not all kobolds fall for me as I'd like, but at the gym--one hundred percent success rate. The smoking body is a nice plus, too. Doesn't hurt to be a little vain, though I'd be lying if I said it wasn't more than a little.

So far, we've focused on locations and occupations as ways to a kobold's heart, but I would be remised if I didn't mention the last of my big three: affections. To be fair, we have mentioned affections here and there, yet only superficial ones; treating a kobold to a drink and offering them a good time are nice and all. The trouble comes when some kobolds aren't so easily swayed with sweet words and promises of booze.

What if you've been courting a kobold for some time now and you're wanting to make a move. What options should you consider?

1. Offer the kobold flowers.

2. Offer the kobold hand-made gifts.

3. Offer the kobold sweets.

Trick question! All of them are the right answer. Sometimes you need to treat your kobold before they can treat you. And just because you've claimed a kobold doesn't mean you should stop treating them. They are emotional creatures, and the above suggestions can be considered as emotional support packages! Kobolds like gifts. Kobolds like flowers. Kobolds like chocolate. I'm not asking a lot out of you, but don't expect every kobold to be perfectly satisfied with being smothered by your body. Every kobold is different: some are low maintenance, others are even lower, and all deserve some form of affection. You are their caretaker, so take care of them!

Again, I will reiterate my big three: locations, occupations, affections. Three keys to the kobold's heart. Think through them carefully and your time will not be wasted. Ponder them meticulously and your efforts will be rewarded. Study them thoroughly and, with some luck, you'll be in possession of a kobold.

Chapter 6: For the Hoard

Just to showcase how excellent a caretaker I am, I've allowed my kobolds to choose the next demonstration. Over the past day, they yip yapped amongst themselves. They even brought out an adorable kobold-sized whiteboard to draw up ideas on! Finally they came to me with a barely legible but nevertheless interesting answer; our last demonstration, decided by the hoard, will be about the hoard.

This is a niche but equally important topic, which I thank my kobolds for choosing. Many of you will not be interested in building a hoard... yet. You may think that one kobold will suffice, but there's always that itch for more. You'll idly wonder what two mouths could do, what chores could be solved with a few more, how nice a night's sleep would be beside several more warm bodies...

Some of you will be unable to stop yourselves from scratching that itch. I can hardly blame you--I'd be a hypocrite if I did.

I've had friends start off with and swear by that one. Months later I'm invited to their home, only to spot a small team of them scampering about the place. I'm never convinced by their excuses; "so they're not lonely" and "it's only temporary" are thin-veiled lies to the real reason: One kobold is so you have a companion, a hoard of kobolds is so you can be worshipped.

I suggest not skipping this chapter, but will not be offended if you do so. Once that itch sets in, you'll be back anyways.

Onto our demonstration. You've claimed your first kobold, and now you've brought home a second. Which option would best help claim your new addition to the hoard?

1. Slow and steady.

2. Hot and heavy.

For your first few kobolds, slow and steady is the right answer. This would normally not fly at all for other species--not unless you're ready to watch scales or fur fly. Kobolds are social creatures, devoted to the collective to overcome their weaknesses. They may look independent, but that's only because today's society pushes individualism down our throats. You have to break down barriers. You must help them remember their roots. They may be hesitant because of such norms, but comforting words and even more comforting hands can ease their worries.

Your claimed kobold will help out, of course. Seeing how happy they are under your care should alleviate all concerns. If the newcomer is still apprehensive, suggest that they watch and, when they're ready, join in. This is a tactic I must insist on you trying. No coercion, no pressure, no discomforts. Let the act of lovemaking convince them.

I remember how my second went. I was laid on my back, spearing my first on several inches of draconic cock, his own prick slapping against his belly with every thrust. Every glance to the second kobold had me more assured that he'd give in. Hands restless at his sides, a tent pitched up down below, eyes averted at first now locked on our intercourse. He was crawling onto my belly before I was able to finish, swapping spit with the other. They both had their share of fun that night.

Once you convince the second kobold, it only gets easier from there. Three, four, five... as the hoard grows larger, additions become easier. It's a domino effect. Kobolds can hardly resist the tempting hands reaching to pull them into bed. Kobolds won't say no to mouths nipping and licking all over their body. Kobolds will join the hoard to serve their master.

I love watching another kobold join the ranks. There's no jealousy from the hoard when a new kobold is introduced. New kobolds are not a threat to the hoard. They're greeted with open arms and passionate fucking. A kobold's first night means first to enjoy master's cock. Their mind's so clouded with sex that by the end of the night they won't respond to their own name. A perfect opportunity to give them a new name for their new home.

What about the feisty ones? I've had some kobolds resist the temptation of a warm bed and a warmer cock, thinking themselves too good to stoop to the hoard's level. Every kobold I've brought into my hoard--even the most stubborn ones--eventually joined the ranks, so I think I'm right to say that the best thing to do here is to let them be.

Slow and steady.

Pressuring them in any way will only prove their point, no matter how wrong it is. Give them the time and space needed to figure out just how much they want this. I let them watch if they want, and leave whenever they choose to. I'm even considerate enough to call a cab when seeing them out of my home. Any kindness you offer is a nudge in the back of their mind saying how much they'd enjoy this.

I will use one of my personal kobolds as an example. Meet Fury--just kidding! His name is Tulip, and wouldn't you believe that this was the most spirited kobold I'd ever met? Oh boy, he was a lively one. Flat out refused to even consider joining my hoard. I nodded and listened, letting him have his rant about how inhumane it was to keep all these kobolds at my feet... which, to be fair, a few of my pets were tending to my paws during our time together.

He made off like a storm overseas, and I thought I might've actually lost one for the first time ever. This was when I had a baker's dozen already in my hoard, so I'd become something of an expert by that point. I was stunned, a little hurt. Did I do wrong by allowing him to leave so easily? I wanted to be the best master, so I didn't believe in forcing kobolds to do my bidding. Much more satisfying when they do so out of their own volition.

For a few days I was torn up. My kobolds were a bit out of sorts, too, losing a prospective member like that. Eventually we were able to get over it with the help of one another. Time passed by, and nearly a week after I heard the doorbell ring. Outside in the rain was a kobold of fire-orange scales, soaked to the core.

I urged him inside and, with the generous help of my hoard, had him dried off and warmed up. What this little guy told me just about made my heart double in size that day. After he'd cooled off, he realized just how lonely his apartment suddenly felt, how devoid of life it felt. He said that feeling only grew worse at the end of every day after. Said that he missed my voice, my comfort... my touch.

His yips and_yaps_ were the saddest thing, I could hardly bear it.

I didn't shout in anger; instead, I expressed how glad I was to have him back under my roof. I didn't punish him for leaving; instead, my hoard and I treated him as one of our own. Tender licks and passionate kisses. I named him Tulip because of where we'd first met, not out of any sort of revenge. He is my little Tulip. Now the little rascal loves to tease me in the morning. I'll find him nipping my sheath or suckling on my tailhole. Most of those wakeup calls end with his rear full of my seed.

I suppose the moral of the story is that you shouldn't only focus on expanding your hoard. You should also focus on your hoard. I keep repeating the same key notes because that's just how much it needs to be emphasized. Take care of your hoard. They support your every need, the least you can do is try your best to reciprocate. You are their caretaker, their guardian, their master. Don't make the mistake of forgetting that.