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Grandmaster Scele wasn't in the mood to choke someone unconscious, but long experience told him he'd need to do it soon. He approached Cedira's Adventuring Guild with his arms folded back and his hood drawn over his head. The building was a large, tall, and pristine wooden structure covered in white paint, with huge, stained-glass windows. A long, smooth, and well-made road of small yellow stones led up to the towering double doors. Scele glanced at the knocker and his frown deepened. The knocker was made of solid gold - an unacceptable waste. Scele let an exasperated sigh leave his body, his shoulders slumped as he forced the door open. As he stepped inside, he glanced about the room on instinct.

His nose wrinkled again. Whatever budget Cedira had, she was wasting it badly. A massive, expensive rug was rolled from the door all the way down the hall, which had a slight incline. A large, ostentatious marble statue of Cedira was standing triumphant in the middle of the room, placed so all eyes would be drawn to it. The statue portrayed a lean, muscular rabbit woman with long, flowing pink hair and soft white fur, dressed in a tight red dress, with gilded handwraps going up nearly to the elbow. Scele narrowed his eyes, noticing that her uniform violated several Guild regulations... then he laughed at himself, glancing up at the crystal chandelier hanging just above the statue, and then to Cedira's guards. They weren't in uniform, and their weapons were shoddy, uneven, and crudely made, but they marched up to him. Scele waved his honor guard away, rolled his shoulders, and turned to face the leader of Cedira's guards: a massive green snakewoman with large arms and a larger chest, with big red eyes. Her long, forked tongue hung out of her mouth slightly, flicking in the air. Scele glanced at her badge - Kavina - and waited. Idly, he noted that none of the guards were male.

"What's your business here?" The guard asked, brandishing a weapon, "Guildmistress Cedira doesn't take unwanted visitors."

Scele motioned to his badge, cocking a brow and tipping his head. "Do you know what this badge means?"

Kavina stared at it, "I haven't seen any like THAT one before..."

Scele glanced at his scribe Michael. "Another count: insufficient education as to proper decorum or separatism. Kavina? I am part of the Council, and I am here to perform a thorough investigation of this Guild."

Kavina's eyes widened and she drew back, the other guards around her all retreating. A few recognized Scele and muttered to themselves. Kavina herself slithered alongside Scele, looking at his badge.

"Y-you... you're Scele!?"

Scele shrugged, "regrettably. Now, where is Cedira?"

"This way to Cedira's office. That's... really the badge of a Grandmaster?" Kavika looked at him, soaking up everything with her gaze.

Scele nodded, walking at a brisk pace. "She hasn't shown you the standard charts?"

"Guildmistress Cedira believes in a sink-or-swim policy," Kavina said.

Scele narrowed his eyes slightly, and she turned away.

"Sink-or-swim? I see..." Scele took a breath in through gritted teeth as they marched down another long, richly decorated hallway. The air was thick with various perfumes and soon he found himself at the foot of a large, gilded staircase. Kavina stopped behind Scele. She recoiled away from the stairs as if they would hurt her somehow. Scele turned around, waited for his guard to make their way to the stairs, and then looked at Kavina. He grinned - all teeth - and cracked his knuckles, making his way from there to a large mahogany door, emblazoned with the name GUILDMISTRESS CEDIRA.

Scele rolled his eyes and tried the door. It was locked. A whiny, nasal voice echoed out.

"I'm not taking visitors now! Scram!"

"This is Grandmaster Scele. You will open the door, or I will open it for you. There are numerous abnormalities related to your finances and the performance of your subordinates, and I have decided to investigate personally."

There was no response. Scele counted to twelve, before he took a small step backward, waving to his honor guard. He held his hand up, and they fell into position. Scele drew his leg up and kicked straight through the door with a resounding crash, ripping it off its hinges. Then he recoiled.

The room was a mess. The thick, rich carpet was covered in a sticky, unidentifiable sludge of some kind, piles of half-eaten food were stacked about almost every available surface, and papers littered the floor, mingling with the other forms of detritus on the floor. The smell was almost as bad as the sight of the room. A magical crystal lamp hung from the ceiling, casting the entire room in a soft red light.

Scele glanced at the papers on the floor. Most were important. Missing person documents, tax forms, and his own letters demanding to identify the abnormalities in her budgeting. Cedira herself was sitting on her bed, and she wasn't anything like the lean, fit figure portrayed in her statue. She was a thick, curvaceous woman who was just about leaving the prime of her life. Still immaculately groomed, her soft, plump form seemed wholly unsuited to the rough life of adventure. Her dainty hands and narrow arms were contrasted by her heaving chest and protruding gut, her large, red eyes dull and unfocused. She stared at Scele, as if she was looking at a ghost, and then sprang to her feet. She was faster than she looked, but Scele knew she was nowhere near her prime.

"S-Scele!? Get out!"

"Separatism," Scele said to his guard, "Cedira, I'm not going to mince words here. You have given no budget for training, uniforms, administration, search-and-rescue, certifications, or even upkeep to the Guild. Almost one hundred percent of your budget was, and I quote, 'administrative costs' but I didn't see a single administrator. Most worryingly, several teams of yours have gone missing when operating with rather... routine missions. Now, I'm going to give you a choice. You can either go straight to the 'free use' stockade in the middle of town-"

"You wouldn't dare!" Cedira suddenly shouted, balling her hands into fists. Scele didn't flinch, staring her down.

"Or you will find those missing teams. Do you know who I'm talking about?"

"I do! I know everything that goes on in my Guild!"

"Names, dates, and locations last spotted, then."

"Uh, Jarra, Nimda, Pauline, and I think Ursa, they went missing downtown!"

Scele clicked his tongue. Some of those were people who did go missing. That was all that could be said in her favor.

"Lying to high Guild officials. Negligence, arguably to the point of negligent homicide. Cedira, I have you..." Scele deliberated for a second on the most vulgar term he could use "more fucked than a nudist in a tentacle pit. I have proof of fraud, perjury, separatism, tax evasion, criminal negligence, and a laundry list of other crimes."

"No, you don't!"

"Don't waste my time, Cedira. You're getting your badge revoked no matter what you do. Now come quietly, and face your sent-"

"I use my right of investigation!" Cedira screamed.

Scele tapped his foot against the floor, brushing his cloak a bit. He looked over to his guard, and then to her.

"You're not in shape to investigate. If you'd paid any attention to those missing persons reports, you'd know that's in monster territory, and you should know what they do to any girl they catch."

Scele found himself dredging up a thought he'd entertained constantly since he first heard the reports. Cedira's guild was almost all girls... and so many of her subordinates had gone missing in a goblin-infested labyrinth. Scele crossed his arms. This could be a serious problem. His motion to summon a professional search-and-rescue team was still being deliberated over. By now, Scele was done with the paperwork and had gathered his apprentices for the task. As he mused, his attention turned back to another bureaucratic problem staring him in the face.

"I still have the right!" Cedira's voice was even higher and shriller than before.

"You're going to die or worse," Scele waved a hand.

"I'm a Guildmistress, what could they do to me?" Cedira asked, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms, giving an overconfident smirk.

Scele took a slow breath in through his nose, regretting the decision. He coughed and nearly bit his tongue. A dozen different ways of stating the obvious raced through his mind, but he discounted all of them. Scele knew she wouldn't listen and reminisced on others who'd been exactly like her. It was depressing and familiar, no longer disappointing by dint of being expected. Scele glanced back at his guards, and the now steadily growing crowd of Cedira's own poorly trained, poorly equipped subordinates gathering around the office. The only reason he was still in this game, Scele realized, was that if he wasn't, everyone else would rapidly die. Cedira took his silence as agreement and flourished.

"See, you know just how skilled I am." Cedira put her hands on her hips and puffed her chest out.

For once, Scele agreed.

"Now I'll just go on and do this myself."

"No," Scele said, "you won't. You wouldn't happen to have a brig in good order, would you?"

The look on Cedira's face was all Scele needed to know where any brig money went.

"Uh, sir?"

Scele turned and looked at the guard who approached him, the slim and nervous-looking raven anthro smoothing her sleek, black feathers with a hand. Her scarred beak opened and closed with half-formed words, and she found his gaze impossible to meet. Her bland, utilitarian brown robe hung loosely off her, her silver badge glinting in the dim light. She shuffled her feet and shrunk backward away from Scele, retreating to the door.

"What is it, Irene?" Scele asked, failing to keep his exasperation out of his tone.

"Well, sir, you should let her go."

"Do you really think the Council will have my head for this?" Scele shot back, letting out a long sigh, "this will turn into a massive problem in a few months."

"The Council..." Irene's voice failed her, nervous fidgeting taking its place. Scele stepped towards her, gently placing a hand on her shoulder, stretching up to accommodate her greater height.

"I know the Council won't see it, and I don't want to clean up after their mistakes again. You know, Irene," his voice dropped low, "I think almost everyone over Gold Rank has lost their minds as of late-"

"Hey! What are you talking about!?" Cedira demanded, hands clenched, baring her teeth in an un-rabbitlike and petulant way, "I know my rights and I know the Council'll throw you out if you break the rules again!"

Scele allowed another long and tired sigh to escape him, slumping his shoulders. Damn Council. Damn Guilds, damn idiots in higher orders. Damn nepotist appointees, undeserving sons and daughters of great men, given badges without merit, given respect without earning it. Damn the stupid new laws, damn the stupid old laws. Damn it, damn it, damn it all.

"...Fine. You know what? Go on ahead," Scele said, "I'll take over training and organization of the Guild while you're away and I'll mount a rescue mission in a day when-"

"Don't even bother, you know I'll do fine," Cedira said, storming out of the room. Scele noted she didn't even bother grabbing her pack or preparing in any meaningful way.

"She has antidotes somewhere in that ridiculous outfit, right?" Scele asked Irene, knowing the answer already. He saw her face sink and her shoulders raise up.

"She... uh... she-"

"She doesn't. Going out venturing without antidotes, armor, backup, rations, or even a knife..."

Irene trembled even more, and Scele brushed past her, looking at the mingled crowd of people who had gathered in the wide hallways. His own soldiers, who were well-dressed, standing at parade rest, their weapons oiled, sharpened, and held safely, and Cedira's... Scele dared not call them adventurers. Her victims. The people she scammed out of their homes and livelihoods, who she exploited. Theor tattered clothes, poorly kept weapons, and obvious weakness were all the evidence he needed. Scele clicked his tongue and watched Cedira march out of the Guild.

"That's almost certainly the last you'll see of Cedira. Did she declare a successor?" Scele took his hood off and raised a brow.

The crowd stared blankly at Scele, who leaned against the doorframe to Cedira's room. A few more finally recognized him and stared with naked awe.

"Don't look at me. The Council would take my head off if I saved her. I'll assume she didn't bother declaring a successor. That makes me - as the most relevant supervising body and only man of rank in the District - the legal operator of this guild. Let me tell you something: I don't like what I see, and I'm making a change here. We'll start with physical conditioning, and then I'll get you real clothes and gear. But before any of that..." Scele took a long breath in, "are any of you gamblers? I've got ten thousand gil that Cedira doesn't come back from this. Step forward and place a coin at my feet if you think she's coming back. If she does, you'll get a chunk of that money, and the ten thousand."

Nobody moved forward.