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Year of the Rabbit - November

Breaking the Cycle

By XP Author

The park was quiet. Not surprising, considering most of it was still covered in snow. There weren't any children running around playing in the snow, either. Probably because it was getting later in the evening. It was also a school night. It let the few couples that didn't mind the cold enjoy the place in relative peace. One such couple was a pair of rabbits, sitting on a bench while looking out at the frozen pond. Angel was leaning her head against her boyfriend's shoulder. Jason had his arm around her, holding her gently.

Angel smiled, her voice soft and wistful. "Today was really lovely. Thank you."

He smiled back. "Yeah. I'm glad nothing went wrong." He gave his girlfriend a squeeze around her shoulders. He had been planning today for months, saving up the money for the restaurant they had dinner at. It was hardly cheap, but it was worth it for her. They had been close since high school, but hadn't made it official until just after they both graduated. They had been together for over a year now.

She closed her eyes. "I don't want today to... end..." Her voice trailed off. That wasn't right. She did want it to end, but... not? There was something important. She knew she had to remember, but it was just at the edges of her memory.

Jason didn't seem to notice, smirking at her. "It doesn't have to..." She turned a little to look up at him. She felt suddenly worried. "We could go back to my place. I can make some coffee, we could watch a movie, maybe... keep each other warm?"

"Keep each other warm..." His meaning was pretty obvious, but that something was right at the edge of her mind. She had to remember! "Are you sure this wasn't part of your... plan... the whole time..." She knew the words she was going to say before she said them. Like reading a script, reciting things she had said them before. Because she HAD said them before! Suddenly everything clicked into place and she remembered. All of this was repeating, over and over. Her punishment in hell itself for a life of killing in the name of her country.

But she could break it. She had to try. "Jason." Her tone shifted, no longer wistful and romantic, but deathly serious. "Jason, I can't go back to your apartment."

The white-furred rabbit laughed at her. "What are you talking about? You already did!" She looked around, the entire scene around her suddenly different. She was in his place, sitting on his couch. It was colder than the snow-covered park that had been around them moments before. "Are you okay, Angel?"

She suddenly bolted up from the couch, panic gripping her. "Yes, Jason, I'm fine. I've never been more fine." She took a deep breath. "Okay, I need to explain something to you."

He stood up, reaching out to put his arms on her shoulders. "You're leaving soon. Shipping out to somewhere you're not allowed to tell me. I know, you've told me."

She shook her head. "No... no that... already happened." She sighed, seeing her breath puff out of her mouth. She realized his breath didn't do the same. She knew why, too. "Jason, this... isn't real."

His expression fell. "What isn't real? Our relationship?" A dark cloud seemed to pass over his face. "That's why you won't stay, isn't it? You don't actually love me?"

Angel winced. Of course that was his takeaway. Her leaving to focus on her military career instead of staying with him was the reason he threw himself from the bridge. He had always been depressed, ever since high school, and her leaving was the last straw. She hadn't found out for months. Wouldn't be home for years to even visit his grave. It was why everything around him was so cold. His last moments were in that half-frozen river. "No, that's not it at all. I did love you! I-" Her words stopped as she felt the pain in her stomach. Looking down, she saw the knife, blood drooling out around his fingers still clutching the handle. She looked up to meet his gaze, tears in his angry eyes. "W-why...?"

"Did_love me. You said you _did love me. Not that you still do!" He put his arms around her, holding her as she felt weak. "But now you'll never leave me. Never leave me again!" He gripped her as her legs started to weaken, pulling her with him. To his bedroom. "I'll love you forever. You'll be with me. Forever!" She was fading too fast for a single stab wound, bleeding out far more than she should. She didn't fight it. This try had been a failure. She knew it would take more than one try... she just hoped one of them would work.

She had literal eternity to try.

* * *

Angel looked down, seeing a drink in her hand. She really was not sure why she kept coming to this... bar. Her thoughts came to her, faster than before. She knew full well why she was here. She didn't have a choice. This came after Jason. Then she was back to Jason, but in some strange sci-fi setting with drones and cybernetics, like something out of a bad science fiction movie. Or a good one, honestly she probably would like that kind of movie. Except for the part her head gets drilled in.

She heard someone sit down in the seat beside her. She could practically feel his stare. Glancing to the side, she saw it was a wolf. Brown fur, long black hair, oddly yellowish-brown eyes, and a big grin. All wrapped up in generic blue jeans and a dark grey hoodie. The clothes were so common and nondescript, he had to be either famous or rich and trying to hide it. He nodded to the empty glass in front of her. "You look like you could use a refill." He had an accent, though only slight. She knew exactly who he was this time around. And what he wanted.

She shifted to stare at him directly. "Marcus Remédio. Planning on spiking my drink again?"

He flinched. "I... w-what!?"

"What was that stuff called again? March Hare's Breath? Potent stimulant that makes someone literally orgasm themselves to death?" She scoffed. "Sick idea of a drug. Glad it never existed."

The wolf's expression fell. "Oh. I see." He shifted how he sat, dropping the smooth talking act. "You finally woke up, didn't you?"

Now it was her turn to be surprised. "W-wait... woke up?" Her eyes went a little wider. "You know where we are, don't you?"

He shrugged, reaching over to pick up the half-empty glass she had left on the counter and draining it in one gulp. "Yeah. We're in the King of Hearts bar." He tossed the glass over his shoulder, the thing shattering on the ground behind him. "Or did you mean that we're in hell?" He chuckled at her glare. "Oh, yeah. I've been aware the whole time. But it's fun to play along. Don't even mind how repetitive it can get, since I get to fuck your tight little cunt ever time. And it's especially fun to see your mind turn to fucking jelly as you're reduced to nothing more than a quivering little whore, begging for my cock."

"That's not happening this time." She wished she had a gun on her right now. "But how are you aware? Ja-... no one else seems to be."

Marcus shrugged. "I'm sure some of 'em are. The ones that you fucked over, anyway." He leaned over the bar, grabbing a bottle of rum, like something from a pirate movie. He yanked the cork out with his teeth and spat it away. "So, when I first got here, it was pretty bad. Set into a lake of those drugs I used to make, only while they were still cooking. Made to be the key ingredient, then snorted up the nose of some piss poor homeless fuck. Only to do it all over again. But then, someone came to me."

"I bet I know who."

He shrugged. "Don't know, don't care. But he offered me this really sweet deal. Said you'd be coming through, and I'd get out of one loop and into another. But I could be the one doing the tormenting. I would still be stuck doing the same thing over and over and over for eternity, but... well, when he said it would be you I was literally fucking over forever?" He laughed. "How could I turn that down!? After all, you're the little cunt that blasted half of my head off."

"You were just an incidental target." There was no real reason to hide anything. Not like she could get in trouble for leaking classified information anymore. "The target was your boss, Piotr. But since I had the chance to take out the man actually moving his drugs." She shrugged. "I took the shot."

He scoffed. "Yeah. How is that big fucking bull anyway?"

"I'll be seeing him in a few..." She waved her hand at the bar around them, now devoid of anyone but the two of them. "...scenarios, or whatever you want to call these."

"So you put him down, too, huh?" He grunted, holding up the bottle of rum, then downing a large gulp. "Fucker deserved it. Y'know he liked to do things to little kids? That's a line even I wouldn't cross."

"But you were fine with those same kids getting wasted on your narcotics?"

He grunted again. "And you dealt with killers by killing them. We're all hypocrites here, honey." He set the bottle down on the counter. "And we're all here forever and ever and ever. So, you sure you don't want to just get wasted anyway? You always love my meat splitting that vertical smile by the end. Cumming so hard you're drowning my crotch in your juices. Not a bad way to spend eternity, is it?"

She narrowed her eyes. "No. And now that I'm awake, as you said, I'm never letting you do that to me again."

He shrugged. "Fair enough." His hand moved quickly, smashing the bottle on her face. The glass shattered as she was sent crashing to the ground. Only some of the wetness was the rum, quite a bit of it also her own blood. "I'll just beat you and rape you each time instead."

She grit her teeth, shaking her head to clear it. "In your dreams, fucker." She caught his foot as he tried to kick her, yanking it hard enough that he lost his own balance and toppled backwards. She moved quickly, straddling his belly and slamming her fist into his face. "I am never letting you demean me again!" She shouted down at him, even as her knuckles started to ache and bleed from repeatedly hitting his skull.

He still managed to throw her off. He reached out a shaky hand to grab the stool he had been sitting on, swinging it around as a weapon. She grasped at one of the wooden legs before it could hit her, wrenching the thing out of his dazed grasp, only to slam it down against his chest and shoulders. The stool splintered as she brought it down, making him grunt in pain and clutch at his chest. He still managed to laugh, even as she dragged herself up to her feet. "You stupid bitch. You still don't get it, do you?" He spat a gob of blood out, a pair of teeth clattering to the floor with it. "You can't kill me. I'm already dead. We both are. You'll just loop back again and forget all about this shit, and I'll be ripping that cunt of yours wide open again." He laughed again, though it turned into a cough half-way through. "And you'll be begging for it again."

"No. I won't." She slammed her foot down on his crotch, making him cry out in pain. Though he still laughed at her. "I'll just keep beating your sorry ass every time. Even if this is my new eternity, I will never let you fuck me again. I'll smash your pathetic balls to mush, cut your cock off and feed it too you, or just keep hitting you until you stop moving. But you will never feel pleasure again."

"_ That's not a bad idea. _" They both flinched as a voice did not so much speak, but vibrate the air around them. The bar seemed to fade away to darkness. Hands suddenly lashed out from the darkness, grabbing at Marcus, each one like long shadows.

He screamed as he started to sink into the nothingness. "No! Wait! You promised this was my new eternity!" He tried to kick and flail, but could not break free from the iron grip dragging him away.

"_ You failed to break her. You will continue to fail to break her. You have outlived your usefulness in my game. _" Marcus tried to keep struggling, but soon he vanished, sinking into the void like it was a pool of ink. His screams lingered for some time, even after he vanished from her view.

She looked around. "Alright. My turn, or do I go to the next one?"

"_ My game with you isn't done yet. But you'll have to move on yourself. _"

She looked down to find a service revolver in her hand. She grunted, knowing exactly what he meant. "Fine." She brought the gun up, pressing it to her own temple. "But I'm not letting you win, either."

"_ You will try. _" It was the last she heard before pulling the trigger, blowing a hole through it, ending this iteration of her life.

* * *

The park was quiet. Not surprising, considering... considering it wasn't real. She was confused for a long moment. The loop had repeated itself already? Or had she gone through it all and just didn't remember? Both were possible. And it didn't matter. She felt the body of Jason against her... she never realized how cold he was before. The guilt hit her harder than the bullet a moment ago had. It was because of her that he had killed himself. She had to make this right. He didn't deserve to be trapped here with her.

"Jason." He shifted beside her as she spoke. "We need to talk."

He stiffened beside her. "This is about you shipping off soon, isn't it?"

She was going to correct him, but... "Yes. It is about that."

The arm around her middle clung a little tighter. She felt it shaking. "You're going to leave me. Forever. Just like everyone else!"

The guilt struck her heart again. Though she did still make sure it wasn't him stabbing her this time. "It was never about leaving you. I always wanted to come back. You made the choice to leave... a choice. You were the only thing that made me ever second guess it."

He slid away, his voice growing cold. "But you still left."

A sigh slipped from her, visible in the chill air. "Yes. I did. And... it was the worst decision I've ever made in my life." The growing anger in the man beside her suddenly vanished, replaced by confusion. "I did things. Horrible things. Killed people. I became cold to the killing. It was... normal. They weren't people anymore, just... targets. They were all bad people who did terrible atrocities... but they were still people." She looked at him. "I knew those people were out there. I had to join the military. If I stayed, I would have always felt... that I ran away. That I wasn't doing what I should have been doing. If I stayed with you, I would have been miserable... and I would never have been able to appreciate your love."

She reached out, holding his trembling, icy cold hand. "I don't hate you. I never hated you. I loved you. I still do. You were... are... the only man, only person, I've ever felt... anything for."

The white rabbit across from her just stared for a long time. He shifted his gaze to the frozen lake... the frozen river below them. They were on the bridge now, high above the water he drowned in. "You... still love me?" She nodded. "Even after what I did?" He winced, and she saw the flashes of realization in his eyes as he started to remember. "All the times... and ways... I've done it to you...?"

"Yes. I do. You were hurt. I hurt you. You were just... taking it out on me." She smiled a little more. "On the person that deserved it."

Tears suddenly burst into his eyes. "Y-you... you don't deserve it!" He backed away, closer to the edge. "I don't deserve your love!" He turned, letting himself fall again. She fell with him. Not dragged down by him, but following, so she could wrap her arms around him. He gasped as he realized what she had done. "W-why?"

"Because you do deserve it." She kissed his cheek, arms still wrapped around him. "I'll fall with you a thousand times more if I have to. I'll let you carve my heart out a thousand more than that, just to let you hold it. It belongs to you anyway." He started to sob as they fell, clinging to her as they struck the water.

Instead of the icy end both had expected, warmth surrounded them as they plunged under the surface. It was... soothing. The water was not water, either. It was more like they were swimming in light itself, yet it did not hurt their eyes. Angel smiled, resting her head against his forehead. "I forgive you. You never did anything wrong." He was still sobbing, but there was a slight giddiness to the sound. "Can you ever forgive me for leaving?"

He nodded quickly. "Yes." He sniffled, taking a moment to get himself back under control. "Yes. I... I never hated you for leaving. I just thought... I wasn't good enough to stay for."

"My dear snow bunny." She leaned over and kissed him on the lips, making him tense up... and then melt into it. The warmth around them spread through him. When she pulled back, he had grown much calmer, and even smiled. "You never even asked. I would have been miserable for you, just so you were happy." He looked down, but she pushed his chin back up with a finger. "We can't change the past. Especially now. All we can do is..." She was going to say live, but that wasn't right. "Accept."

He pulled away from her, but not afraid or hurt anymore. "You're... not coming with me, are you?"

She shook her head. "I can't."

He smiled, even gave a soft laugh. "I guess this time it's me leaving you." He started to fade away into the light. "I'll wait for you. No matter how long it takes. This time, I'll wait. I know I'll see you again."

She smiled at him, feeling the tears in her eyes. "I'll try not to keep you waiting so long this time." She heard his laugh as he faded away into the light fully, leaving her alone. She could follow him, right then and there, into the light... but it wouldn't work. She had unfinished business. There were others that she needed to talk to. The cycle wasn't broken yet. She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "I'm ready for the next one." She didn't know who it was she was speaking to, more just to the light itself. It seemed to acknowledge her choice, that it was the right one.

As the light faded, she turned away from it... for now. She would join it again later, when she was ready. When it was right. But she had to talk to the others. Piotr, Ashentail, Byron, and the others. And... she didn't know how she knew... Rex. And then there was the last matter. The black rat demon. She smirked as her consciousness shifted to whatever would be the next scenario. She was looking forward to that particular confrontation.

* *To Be Concluded* *