FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

The sun was just around the horizon as I drifted back to my old house, the wind was cold, colder than it ever felt when I first became a reaper. I wondered if it was caused by my stirred emotions, a swarm of hopelessness crawling into my thoughts.

As I navigated towards my house, I noticed the mansion where it all happened, its walls complimenting an elaborate gate. When I really got a good look at it, someone could mistake it for the gates that lead to heaven... though I'm not exactly sure heaven exists with my current situation.

The platform was still floating on a single cable, I guess no one had stumbled upon my body yet. Then again, my benefactor said they'd be on vacation for at least a week, it's more likely a thief would find my body at this point in time.

I decided not to look at it, my former temple was just an empty husk now, I already felt enough dread as is. Instead I worried about my parents dying before I could see them, I don't know if I'll speak to them when it's their time, but I at least wanted to see how they're doing.

It was hard not to feel saddened, the reality that I'll be immortal, the reality that I can no longer die. I don't know how I'll turn out over the course of eternity, it scares me knowing how much I could change, both good... and bad.

A certain landmark entered my vision, I'd see this one everytime we went out of town. My parents made it a commitment to go out every weekend, especially if we felt tired or exhausted, they mostly did it for themselves since they didn't want to sit around and grow old.

I usually preferred hanging out with my friends, but every now and then I'd go on a drive with them. This grumpy looking rock was the landmark I said bye to as I moved out a couple years ago, we always joked about it going through something.

I grabbed my flailing tail as I turned to the left, it didn't keep me warm or anything, but psychologically it comforted me. What I noticed next was the burnt playground dead in the center, still charred and black just like I remembered. It all got burnt up at some point, the main issue was... all the paint used was highly flammable.

Never exactly got refurbished since no one really cared for it even before the incident, definitely a great conversation starter though. No one could ever really pinpoint what set it ablaze, there wasn't exactly a camera or blackbox.

And last but not least there's a fishing shop further down town, I descended into it and phased inside. The blinding florescent lighting greeted me, and the sharp angles within' the store guided my eyes. On the right were many fishing rods, all hung on hooks. In the center was where the bait was presented on some shelving, I still remember the days when my dad would lift me up and have me grab the bait on the top shelf.

I would always point to it saying the bait on top is better, even though it's all one and the same, my dad would eagerly lift me everytime in my early childhood.

On the left was the shopkeeper, I never knew his first name so I always called him Mr. Ollie. A Rhino beastman who is around six foot two if I recall, a whole foot and a quarter shorter than me, he was busy organizing his desk. I wondered if my old man still went fishing often... I doubt he'll fish for awhile once the news of my death reaches his ears.

With that thought on my mind, I ascended upwards through the ceiling. I could tell I was nervous... anxious as I thought of my parents, even if my body didn't show it, I still felt it. As I imagined myself taking a deep breath I hovered over there, slowly but surely, inch by inch. Honestly I wanted to turn around and leave, I was scared... terrified of seeing them, if I still had a gut it'd be in knots.

After what felt like hours I tilted my head up, the evening sun shone over the two-story house I grew up in. The grass was still green, the porch seemed to be repainted recently as it shone white, and the half-dead tree to the left looked like it was still hanging on. Old memories flowed within', I wondered if my mother still reads books on the porch.

I stayed floating as I stared at the door, unsure how I'd react after seeing my parents, seeing my parents in this body. How would I feel knowing that I couldn't speak to them? How would I feel knowing I could only speak to them once they're nearly dead? Should I even see them?

But I wanted... needed to see them, I needed to see my parents, the ones who shaped me into who I am. I clenched my fists, imagining another deep breath as I face the door, I reach my hand out dipping my arm through it.

"Damn it..."

I cursed as I turned my head away, was I really hesitating that much to see my parents? Was I going to regret seeing them now that I've moved on from life?

I decided to act before my thoughts threatened to consume me, I phased in while keeping my head down, covering my vision with my hands even though they weren't entirely opaque.

I slowly tilted my head up to face level as I looked to my right, guess they got a big screen TV now. I looked at the stand it was on, they still had those old consoles on it, my dad probably still plays those old games.

And to the left is where the couches are, dark leather cushions that you could sink into, I'm going to miss that feeling. The window next to the TV always caused some horrific glare, wondered why they'd never move things around.

I guess change is hard once you're so used to familiarity...

I floated to the kitchen which was just ahead of the living room, no one here either, maybe they're in their room? For now I took a good look at the kitchen, I'm surprised the oven they got before I moved out still works, they never really lasted longer than a few years.

Everything was in its place, my mom always made sure to clean around the house until it looked brand new. Pots and pans were hung on hooks to the left of the stove top, the knives were on the far right counter. Plenty of cabinets littered the walls, most of them probably contained ancient relics way past their expiration date.

The sink was empty too, maybe they had guests over earlier? Either way my parents weren't around, might aswell check their bedroom.

I made my way around, going through the hallway to the right of the living room and past the bathroom, I was now in front of my parent's bedroom door. Out of habit I reached my hand out to knock, I let out a sigh as I looked at my hand, I glanced at the ceiling and turned my head as I went in.

At the far corner of the room facing parallel to the door was a king sized bed where both of my parents laid in their bedsheets, my mother was reading a book while my father had his right arm around her. On the nightstand next to the bed I saw a couple beers and a wine glass, I guess they're enjoying their time together.

I looked to the left of the room while I was still around the doorway, I forgot what it's called... a beauty station or whatever, A vanity of sorts where my mother would do her makeup. There were plenty of products on it, earings, jewelry, you name it. My dad allowed my mother to decorate the whole room, it was lavished with soft spherical lights on the ceiling, and pink walls with little red hearts going horizontally across.

I always saw this room as cozy and comfy, even if it doesn't align with my preferences. And I'm not saying this as their son, but my parents are still killin' it in the looks department. My dad's in his early five-hundreds I think, while my mother is in her mid four-hundreds. It's not too uncommon for dragons to have their kids later in life, since they'll still mature just as fast as any other species.

In the back of my mind I still wondered how they'd feel once they find out I'm dead, afterall it's only a matter of time at this point. But still, I was glad to see them alive and well, but I guess two years away from them isn't that long anyways. I watched as my dad leaned to my mother's ear, he had a grin on his face as he spoke in a loud whisper.

"Been awhile since I mired my 'grestest catch,' still just as fresh as when I caught ya'...."

I cringed as I saw the sheets slip with him groping my mothers bare breast, I quickly turned around and phased out of the room as my mother moaned. I guess 'that' area of their lives is still healthy too... that's going to leave a traumatizing mark in my memories.

I went past the living room from the hallway, to the flight of stairs that went towards my old bedroom. I floated upwards, the third step still had loose carpet with the wood slightly exposed, that step was always close to making us slip and fall. I made my way up, it was quite dark since the upstairs hallway had no lights.

The open laundry room was on the right, with a bin storage cabinet facing the entrance, and further ahead on the right side aswell was the upstairs bathroom. It's probably been unused since I've been gone, seems like a light amount of dust has settled around the area too.

I then made way to my old room at the end, I glanced at the little height markers on the left side next to the hinges, from age two through nineteen. All the way from barely a foot tall to my seven foot five height, barely taller than my dad who was an inch shy of my height.

I couldn't really tell if I hated the nostalgia or found comfort in it, what I could tell though... was that I felt like I was right where I belong, surrounded by the four walls that kept me safe. I was curious to see what my room looked like, I went through the door and immediately landed on memory line.

The baby blue walls that matched my previously colored scales, the loft bed that housed my gaming setup, the shelving and drawers that filled the space. It was all still here as the setting sun shone through the window, and while there was a layer of dust on everything, it looked just as pristine as when I moved out.

I took a good look at everything, a tinge of happiness welling within' for the first time since I've been a reaper. I ascended to the top of my bed, I really wanted to rest. Even though I couldn't make contact with the bed, I still laid down in the air like I was, I spread out my limbs as if I was trying to sleep. I stared at the ceiling content with the day.

I was back home, back where I belong, connecting with my mortal roots.