That last semester....why me?
#1 of That Last Semester
This is what I hope to be the beginning of a series. This is about me, in a sense, but more so, it is about coming out after 22 years of believing oneself straight. There is a lot of truth in here, especially in my background information. Hope you enjoy!! "Oh my god, could that damn exam be any more insane??" Nighteyes grunted in annoyance as he made his way back to his dorm. It was one of several finals he will end up taking that week. The brown and tan wolf made a quick side stop at his college's student store, where he picked up a bottle of Sobe 'Liz Blizz,' or as he would call it, 'Liz Jizz.' That was his routine, as boring as it may be, every day after his classes ended. A bottle of that wonderful pina colada beverage along with some chewy chips ahoy would always calm his nerves after a day of incompetent professor bullshit. They would wave their numerous exotic degrees in your face and make like they are the kings of the world, but always ended up being nothing more than pompous assholes who loved to hear themselves speak. Nighteyes made his way through the mass of furs that came and went from the various school buildings and dormitories that surrounded him. Though that day was not like any other for him. Four years ago, when he graduated his high school, and entered into college life, he was more or less an outcast; always the 'tolerated' one in his circle of so-called friends. They would roll their eyes when he approached, but said nothing. They would barely pay any mind to him as he came and went. They would only use him for their own gain, like when he got his license. He was the first fur in his circle to get one, and almost immediately after he was eligible to drive others legally, they all would bound to him, throw an arm around him, and be very friendly, so that he would drive them around. Nighteyes didn't mind. He knew he was nothing more than air to them, and would turn their backs on him as soon as he served their purpose, but he didn't mind. They were the closest he had to true friends. "Hey guys, how were your exams today?" Nighteyes tried to smile as he entered his room, where his roommates, a toned puma named Mike and a bulky husky -St. Bernard mix named Dan, both sat about in just their shorts under the vent of the only working AC, other than his own in the suite, looking at their HeroScape collection. "Eh....it went, that bastard Jackal gave us an essay exam instead of the multiple choice one he promised us. I think I barely made it." Dan grunted in response to Nighteyes' question. Mike nodded in response as he was in Dan's Ethics class. "I'm just glad it's over, and graduation is around the corner, ya know?" Giving his sweet innocent smile that always made Nighteyes feel a little giddy, and not knowing why it did. "Ya, I hear ya bro." Nighteyes agreed as he stripped to his shorts, his moderately toned stomach lurching out a tad. Mike and Dan were his only friends at Wentworth that didn't use him or abuse his friendship. They all had that outcast portion of themselves in common and that was what drew them together and to be roommates for the past two years. He really enjoyed being with them and they seemed to as well. Seeing them laying there on the cool tiled floor in their tight shorts made him tingle a little, but he merely threw the thought off as reaction to the cool air. It was near 95 degrees out and fairly humid, so this sudden change in temperature was surely the reason. "Well, I think I'm going to lay down a bit, that Classic Furnation Literature exam really drained me." Nighteyes said as he stretched out fully. He thought he caught out of his peripheral vision the eyes of the two furs staring at him, almost longing. The two of them turned quickly back to their collection as he returned to standing there. "Well rest then, me and Dan are going out tonight..." Mike said, but ended up catching himself. "We are just going bar hopping, that's all..." Dan recovered for Mike, albeit nervously. Nighteyes didn't notice the two of them swallowing slowly. Shrugging, Nighteyes passed them and went into his room and flopped down on his bed, arms and legs spread out, allowing the cool graceful flow of air to hit him. When he was out of sight, Dan poked Mike in the shoulder. "Way to go, I don't want him to know. I don't want him to think that we are gay...." "But aren't we? I mean, wasn't it you who told me that you had a wet dream about me and the wolf?" Mike asked quietly. "Ya, but I was also drunk. I wouldn't have told you otherwise." Dan protested, embarrassed. "You were afraid that I'd shoot you down, and make fun of you? " Mike laughed a little. "As you can see, I have no problem at all with that. In fact, I am rather flattered you thought of me in that regard. If you hadn't told me, then I wouldn't have told you I had a crush on the two of you for a while now. Everything is fine." "No, it's not Mike, I'm not sure if Nighteyes shares the same feelings. He is so shelled up that I can barely get a reading on his emotions most of the time. I am fairly well at that, always was, but with him it's is not easy. What if he ends up blowing up at us, I've seen him tremble in anger when that douche bag Ryan pushed him over the edge from 4 years of picking on him. Ryan ended up with a broken wrist and a busted nose. I don't want our friend to do that to us." Dan said quietly again, looking down at his feet. Mike reached over and gripped his paw with a smile. "Somehow, I do not think that will be the case. I mean, have you ever seen him gawking at the bitches on campus? I know I haven't. Did you happen to have seen his reaction when Sarah attempted to flirt with him in Economics?" Giggling a little Dan answered. "Ya, he was so oblivious to it and seemed to ignore it. Remember how pissed that Coyote bitch was after? She didn't even bother approaching him again, taking his lack of interest as a ego burst." He shifted a little on his rump, slightly asleep now. "Maybe you are right. I don't think it will be too bad. But we can't approach him nevertheless. I do not want to chance ruining our only other friend these past few years." "That's fine hun..." Mike coughed a little, using that term for the first time. "I mean, when the time comes, I'm sure he'll tell us. He was always honest with us about stuff. I'm sure it will be the same, if he feels the same bond that we all have for each other." "Ya, let's just relax and figure out who's got the best army." Dan smiled deviously to Mike, who reciprocated as they both leaned over their army cards, bickering over each's strength and weaknesses as if their prior conversation never happened. * * *
Opening up his drink he sipped at it diligently, enjoying the cool rich creamy flow of the drink to slide down his throat. Moaning slightly, a strange thought crept into his mind about his two half naked roommates in the other room and it made him freeze as if held in place by cement. He looked down at his shorts in fear, as they were now tented by his cock which pulsated underneath. That quick thought was about the two of them naked as the day they were born. He gulped and then tried to force the thought away, along with his hulking erection. He sat up and held himself close. "What was that.....why was that.....I'm not gay....I can't be......am I??" Whimpering slightly he thought back to his childhood, being brought up in the church to believe that homosexuality was a damned sin that would lead straight to hell. He had always believed that, and even made fun of the cheetah at his highschool his freshman year that you could tell from a mile away he was not only gay, but extremely flamboyant. It was always a nervous laugh though, and felt bad for doing it, but he didn't want his homophobic 'friends' to think he was queer if he didn't make fun of him. Even from that, something always nagged at him from the far recess of his mind. There were various times in his childhood where it would seem to point that he would end up this way. There was the dressing up in his mother's dresses along with his bi-sexual brother, to the Barbie dolls, to the fear of girls. When they first got the internet, before he even discovered pawing, he found himself merely curious and started to look at male pornography. But that didn't last long as he would get an extreme feeling of guilt, then lock it away in the far reach of his mind. In fact, it was so bad that he would only look at lesbian porn, afraid that he would end up getting aroused by the males' sumptuous cocks. That very thought made Nighteyes' cock twitch again before he realized he was thinking of his roommate's again. Ripping himself back to reality he cleared his mind and breathed deep, slow breaths. "No, it can't be, this just can't...." He closed his eyes and lay back down. Putting a paw over his scarred left eye, the green and blue hues quivering with tears, years of storing up all those thoughts, all those desires, flowing out of him in the river of tears the spotted his pillow. Slowly, as he began to drift into sleep, something seemed to click in his mind that was more like a humongous pop, he realized that he was infact gay.....and now he had to deal with it in some way. He ended up sleeping through his study session for another final he was having the next day. When he woke up, he saw there was a note slid under this door to this single room. It was a note from his roomies. "Hey sleepy head, just letting you know when you wake up, that we went out on the town. Don't get into too much trouble. You seemed like you were having a hard dream cuz you were whimpering a little, but we didn't dare wake you. Hope things are ok. Laturds! "Great, that must mean I overslept the study group. Shit! They will have my head for that, I was supposed to quiz everyone...." Nighteyes groaned walking out onto the cold tiles and heating up some leftover pizza. "Greasy cardboard....damn i love this crap...." he said as he forced the stuff into his maw and held back gag reflex from the nasty grease. After finishing he sat in their common room on the couch with a huge stain on one of the seats that he didnt want to acknowledge as it was there from day one. He sat there, thinking in silence as the humm of the AC came and went. Thoughts of his past, to the thoughts he just had before he passed out. Were they real? Were they true? For the next 3 hours he tried to work things out, crying every so often as he could see the look on his parent's face as they disown their son for being a tail raiser. He had often been made fun of it as he never showed interest in girls or dating in general. He did like to watch the boys lacrosse team though, in their loose clothing, just running about. He never did think of it anymore then admiration for something he knew he could never accomplish. He was a typical band geek through and through, and a major pascifist. Often, he would step inbetween people who were fighting even if he didnt know them. That left him more then bruised a few times. He could just see the crowds tearing him apart now, laughing, beating on him, making fun of him. Worst of all, what of his roomates. What would they think if they found out he was queer...would they turn him away? That made him cry more, they were his only true friends, together forever. He didn't want to lose them, but he also knew that he had to tell them somehow, that just the way he was. He was always honest with them, even if it was painful. Everything else he kept to himself, along with his emotions. Along with those fearful thoughts, other ones popped in. Thoughts of Mike and Dan holding him, caressing him, loving him for who he was. Those thoughts were dangerous though, as they often made him imagine what it would be liked to be touched by them, to have their large paws running over his body....caressing his wolf meat. One thing he loved to do was paw off, that was his only major release for all the school bullshit going on. He often wondered how it would be for another fur to do it for him....to him.....but never in this regard. He would have to force those other thoughts in as they were all females who would do it to him. This time however, it felt real to him, thinking of Mike and Dan doing that to him. His shorts started to rise then, a tent made from his decent sized cock. This time however, he didn't force those thoughts down. He just let them in. Made him feel whole, so warm. He reached down and slipped his trembling paw under his shorts, and along the moist penis that seemed to resinate with his lust, his forbidden desires. He got up then and walked slowly into their bedroom. With them gone for the evening he didnt need to worry. He wasnt going to steal anything...no. He walked over to the pile of clothes in the corner. He sifted through and picked up one of Mike's dirty underwear. He went over to his bed and sat down, holding the piece in his hand, staring at it. Something came over him and he lifted it to take in the musky scent of the crotch area. It was rich, Mike must have jogged in them earlier in the morning, so it was full of his scent. That made him even more aroused. "Oh.....mmmm" He slipped his shorts down so they were at his ankles. Now bare, he started to caress his cock more so with one paw, the other holding the musky underwear to his nose, taking in deep waifs of the richness. The paw slipped down further to cup his balls, squeezing them slightly, moaning at the touch. Going further south he felt around his asshole and rubbed it gently. This was his first time doing that and it felt awkwardly pleasing. He took his paw back up and laid down on Mike's bed, placing the underwear on his face and putting both paws down to his cock and ass. Pre started to bead out of his head as he continued to fuck his paw vigorously. The other paw went to his balls and started to really fondle them, tugging them gently. Moaning he felt like he had never before. It never was this intense before, he was really enjoying it and wanted to do this with his roomates. His knot began to form as he thrust into his paw, feeling his climax coming close. He was in paradise, feeling free from all his angst and strife. It was absolutely marvelous. His mind wandered, his head feeling light. He called out their names loudly.... "Oh mike.........ah man.....oh my god, Dan.......!" Nighteyes screamed out as he was about to reach his peak. "Oh my god....what the hell is going on here?!?!" Mike yelled as he suddenly appeared in the doorway, Dan wobbling behind him, apparently plastered. "Mike? what's going on........um......errr....." was all Dan was able to say as he stood next to Mike, looking at a very aroused Nighteyes pawing off in Mike's bed, with his underwear on his face. All Nighteyes could mutter at that point was...."oh shit......." It was the beginning of a long week............................ * * *
The end for now. This I hope to become a series of sorts. I apologize for my lack of writing skills, this being the first story I've ever written. It mixed in truths of myself when I was in college last year, and my thoughts when I first realized I was gay. Mike and Dan were my actual roommates but they weren't gay and I never really had perverse thoughts of them haha, but they were my good friends and were very supportive of me when I came out to them. I hope they don't read this, they'll have my nads for sure if they find out I wrote about them in this manner. Hope you all liked this. Hope I can get the next one out.