Gym Buddies: Part Seven
#7 of Gym Buddies
Gym Buddies: Part Seven
"L-Luke?"
"Unless you have another brother," Al smiled. My jaw hung open as I tried to make sense of what was being said. My tail was now curling so tightly it made me wince.
"You want Luke?"
The coyote's face suddenly dropped when he realised how much this had upset me. "I'm sorry, that was stupid! Forget I said anything!"
"I don't think I can just forget it, Al," I said. "You wanna... you want to fuck Luke?!" Every time I asked the question, it became more forceful, more frustrated. I could feel Al's heart rush against my chest and his body flush nervously.
"I'm sorry, I just thought it might be kinky - I didn't think!" He moved in to kiss me, but I jerked my head away from him. He rested his head next to mine with a sad look on his face. "I'm an idiot. I'm sorry. I've," he paused and took a deep breath, "I've fucked this up, haven't I?"
"I, er... I don't know," I answered honestly, my breath out of control and my mind rushing. "I'll need time to think about this."
"Yeah, of course," he insisted, "I understand completely." A minute of silence filled the air before Al suggested we should leave and climbed out of the window. When I followed him, the cold morning air made me shiver. I hadn't even touched my feet to the ground when he spoke again. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said-"
"It's okay," I sighed.
"No, it's not - this has really upset you!" He grabbed hold of me and looked into my eyes.
"It's fine, it's just that... this has kinda freaked me out," I explained. He nodded understandingly.
"Okay," he said comfortingly before pulling me into a hug goodbye. I had the feeling that he wanted to kiss me again, but it wasn't something I was ready for - not after his 'kinky' request. He let go of the embrace, smiled at me awkwardly and then walked off.
I took my phone out of my pocket to call Luke, glanced around the car park and stopped. Luke's car was already there. I approached the vehicle, which was parked in the exact same spot it had been when he dropped me off last night. I looked through the windshield and saw him sleeping with his head on the steering wheel. I tapped on the glass, making him jolt awake with one eye open.
"What?" Luke shouted in surprise. He gave a huge yawn and rubbed his eyes. "Oh, it's you. Get in, then." I opened the door and sat down next to him. Another yawn escaped the husky's lips.
"How long have you been here?"
"I never left, pup," he sighed. "I was waiting outside for you all night. As soon as you got in, I turned the engine off and waited."
A cog whirred in my head as something started to make sense to me. "It was you? You were the one that was in there last night?" He nodded nonchalantly and stretched his arms as much as he could. "What the Hell were you doing?! You scared the shit out of me!" I smacked his arm hard, making him recoil and give a pathetic whine. "How did you even get in there?" I screamed at him. Luke glanced at the keys in the ignition and sighed whilst rubbing his arm.
"When I used to work there, I took one of the keys and had a copy cut. I went in there last night to keep an eye on you." He looked at me - the sparkle in his blue eyes still asleep.
"Oh," I said, more than a little embarrassed.
"I wasn't spying on you, you know? I was wanting to make sure you were okay," he explained as he twiddled his thumbs, "so if I'd have heard you were in trouble or something, I'd be ready to- what?" My eyes had welled with tears at Luke's sentiment and I threw my arms around him. "Hey, what's wrong?" he chuckled, taken unawares by the embrace.
"I just have the best brother in the world, that's all." Luke smiled and hugged me back. He wrinkled his nose and shoved me into the passenger seat.
"And I've got the smelliest brother! Jesus, pup, you did have a good time last night, didn't you?" I sighed and sank into the seat.
"Yeah, I guess."
"What's the matter?" he asked.
I shook my head. "I-I don't really want to talk about it," I said.
"Tough," he said firmly, "you're my brother and I want to hear about it." I decided that the best way around this was to tell him the truth with as few details as possible. I'd keep everything on a need-to-know basis.
"Well, er..."
"I tell you what we're going to do," he interrupted. "We're going to go home; wash you off - because you really do stink," I smiled at this, "and then you can tell me what's on your mind, okay?"
I groaned. "It's something I... well, I kinda need to figure it out by myself. But the second I do figure it out - can we talk about it then?"
Luke smiled at me and started up the car. "Pup, we can talk about it whenever you want." I closed my eyes and melted deeper into the seat.
"Thanks, bro. I love you."
"Shh, you get some sleep. I'll wake you when we get home."
The rumble of the car felt good, and I was pretty sure I fell asleep a couple of times during the ride home. I was woken up at the occasional speed bump, but Luke had tried slowing down to near-stopping levels to keep me settled. After our conversation, my mind had finally started to calm down. I'd made my decisions and I knew exactly where I stood with Al. But one question bugged me for the rest of the car journey.
'How do I tell him?'
*
The coffee shop was bursting with excitement at three fifty-eight in the afternoon. I'd been waiting there for the last half an hour, even though I asked Al to meet me at four. Watching the clock wasn't helping the time pass any quicker, so I tried to find something to distract myself. My eyes passed a pair of panthers curling up to each other on a leather sofa in the corner - and seeing couples getting close was forming a knot in my stomach. It was something I was so close to having and wanted so much. I closed my eyes and imagined a pair of big strong arms holding me tight.
I opened my eyes not long after shutting them - thinking about what I didn't have was just depressing me. I looked around the room again and stopped when I saw the Labrador behind the counter. Something about him looked awfully familiar, though I couldn't place what it was. He caught me staring and instantly turned away with embarrassment. Then I realised where I recognised him from.
"Hey, Dan," Al woke me from my trance. It took me a moment to hear him, and I snapped my head around to face him.
"Al! Hi," was the best I could manage before my heart started pumping heavily in my throat. "I'm glad you came," I said nervously. The coyote looked down at me with a weak attempt at a smile.
"I couldn't not come, could I?" The cafe seemed horrifically quiet, which I hated. It felt as if everyone was staying silent to listen in on this conversation - and the last thing I needed was an audience. "Can I get you something?" he asked, indicating the counter to my left.
"No, thanks," I said.
As Al made his way to order himself some pretentiously named drink, I clenched my fists into balls and shut my eyes. This wasn't going to be an easy conversation. And I still had that question burning though me.
'How do I tell him?'
I took in a deep breath and went over the words that I'd planned this morning. I didn't get much sleep since last night, but had about seven hours to think of what I'd say. I wanted to say it today - I needed to. Al returned and placed a boiling mug in front of me.
"I said I didn't want anything, Al," I shouted in a displeased voice. It caught the attention of some of the other punters, and the coyote's sad face made them all suddenly interested. He pulled the mug closer to him as he sat down across from me.
"Sorry, I was just trying to... well, I was just-"
"I know," I said, placing my paw on his and pulling the mug back to me. He smiled at me and played with my fingers for a moment. "It's just that Luke'd kill me if he knew I was drinking coffee," I explained.
"I thought you looked a bit tired, that's all."
"Well, I didn't get much sleep last night," I retorted, nodding and bringing the mug to my lips. I sipped at it and sighed slightly.
"Say, does that guy look familiar to you?" Al asked, referring to the Labrador behind the counter. I gave a smug smile.
"Yeah, just a little." Al sprung forward in his seat, reading that I had some juicy piece of information. "Do you read 'Doggy Style'?" Al's jaw was low in shock as he looked over at the golden dog.
"No! It isn't!"
"Yep! That's Raine's little puppy over there!" I said, sharing a laugh with the coyote.
"No way! He seems so... reserved, doesn't he?" Al said, taking a moment to find the correct word. "I'd never have known he was into that!"
"Don't suppose he has a rubber ring I could borrow, does he?" I smiled at him. Al's face suddenly became concerned, and his eyes shifted to my tail. "Don't worry, I'm kidding. I thought it'd be a lot worse, you know?"
"It doesn't hurt, though?" he asked sincerely. It did hurt a little, but I didn't want Al to worry too much.
"Nah, I'll be fine. I've been through things more uncomfortable." We sat in silence for a moment. I was glaring into my coffee while I felt Al's eyes burn into me.
"Like this?"
I sighed and pushed my face into my paws, my tail clenching into my body. We were getting along so well, and now we had to do this. "I'm sorry, Al. Can we just get this over with?" I looked up and saw Al's hurt face, now staring at the table. "I need to say this and I need to say it now, so-"
"Please don't break up with me." He looked up at me and his emerald eyes gave me the most upset look I'd ever seen. "I'll never mention it ever again, you have my word!" I swallowed and shook my head, unable to meet his eyes.
"Al, please don't make this any harder than it has to be," I pleaded. "I wish it was something that I could get over - I really do. But I can't."
"Listen, pup-"
"Don't call me that," I shouted. Al's calling me 'pup' didn't feel right. "I'm sorry," I said in a calmer voice, "I shouldn't have shouted." I decided not to give an explanation, though I had a pretty good idea as to why it upset me.
"Dan," he said, leaning his body across the table to meet me, "I like you." He placed his paws over mine and met my eyes. "What I said was stupid - really fucking stupid - I'm not denying that. But does it have to get in the way?" I lifted one of my paws from under him and held on to his.
"I'm sorry," I said. Al nodded his head sadly and sat back in his chair, breathing deeply. He picked up his coffee and sipped at it. I sipped at mine. Three whole minutes passed as we sat in silence, neither knowing what to say to the other.
"Erm," Al dared, "do you... do you still want to be, you know, gym buddies?"
I shrugged and rubbed the bridge of my nose. "I don't know, Al. If we were, that's all we could ever be. Would you be happy with that?"
He chuckled and shook his head. "No, I don't suppose I would be." My tail was curled so tight into my rear it hurt, and my fingers were fiddling with the now empty coffee cup. "Would you be happy with that?"
"No, I wouldn't," I admitted. "Every time I'd see you, I'd just think about Luke. You do know he'd probably kill us if he knew what you said."
"You haven't told him, then?" Al rushed before letting out a wide smile of relief. I shook my head.
"He's not going to find out, don't worry." The happy grin stretched across his face, which lightened the whole conversation.
"But... are we still friends?" Part of me wondered if he was adding the developing tears for effect, and a pang of guilt struck me for even considering it. I pulled his paw across the table and held it tightly.
"Of course we're still friends, Al!" He smiled, and the tears rolled down his face when he did. He quickly wiped them away with his free paw.
"Thanks," he said happily. Suddenly the situation didn't seem so bad. We stood up ready to go, and Al pulled me into another hug. "I love you, Dan," his voice was shaky as he held back more tears, "you know that, right?" I nodded into his chest, clutching on to his fur one last time. "If you ever... I'll be at the gym." He pushed his muzzle to mine and kissed my lips. His eyes shot me their cutest look as he smiled at me.
As I watched him turn and walk away, I heard a couple of voices mutter 'fucking fags' under their breath. Luke sprang to mind instantly. I imagined him daring them to repeat it a little louder and could see him cracking his knuckles threateningly. The thought of how protective he was made me smile. I took a deep breath and my mind rushed to ask that dreaded question once again.
'How do I tell him?'
I sighed and made my way out of the coffee shop, several eyes glaring at me. The sky quickly turned from a dark blue to a dirty grey. Rain came crashing down, and each drop felt like a frozen dagger hitting the back of my neck. I wiped my paws through my wet fur and washed my face with the cold rainwater. I didn't want to have this conversation with my brother, but it had to be done. It just had to be.
After twenty minutes of slowly walking, the rain had become denser, drenching my light hooded sweatshirt so that it was dark and heavy. I stopped when I got to my house and stood in the pouring rain, staring at the front door. I took a deep breath and walked towards it, my shaking paw reaching for the handle.
As it clicked open, I thought one last time about the question that had been plaguing me all day.
'How do I tell Luke that I'm in love with him?'