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It was a miserable planet. The burning heat of the day, which lasted almost twenty hours, did nothing to improve the morale of the soldiers camped in the remains of a once prosperous farming town. Vaahn sat under a canvas sheet, using his hand to shield his one good eye from the glare of the red giant star as he peered out toward the horizon. Somewhere, beyond the rolling copper hills, was the city of Pilisca, Humanitys last bastion against the invading forces of the Rimward Fleet. The crunch of boots on gravel made him turn. Uikke was approaching, carrying a large flask and a sturdy grey datapad. He handed the former over whilst reading over the latter. "Messages from home?" Vaahn asked hopefully. Uikke nodded. "One for you here." The pad was handed over and Vaahn scrolled through the all too brief message. The signal stations could only permit a small amount of non-essential com-traffic at a time, but what little got through was always good for morale. Vaahn looked up from the letter with a smile and handed back the pad. "It seems little Jasat has learned to walk." "He'll be out here with us before long." Uikke replied, scrolling through the recipient names to find his own messages. After reading it he let out a frustrated sigh. "Dorth has been hanging around the docks again. This time he's gone and broken his leg." "He's more than he's worth. I don't know where your boy gets that insubordinate streak." Uikke rolled his eyes. "We were no better at his age. Oh, there's a letter from Narya; she wishes us both well." Vaahn cursed inwardly, feeling the barbs in Uikke's voice. "You still blame me for Jaahl's death?" "I will blame you until the day you die." Uikke replied coldly. "Blood and iron, Uikke! What would you have me do, get myself killed trying to save him? I am trying to command an entire battle group here! I can't afford to sacrifice myself for the sake of one man!" "Jaahl was not just one man!" Uikke snapped back. "He was our brother! Our blood! You should have been watching out for him!" Vaahn spat on the ground rather than continue the argument. Jaahl had died in a bloody boarding action, volunteering to storm the engineering section of a Human vessel to stop them overloading their Star Drives. Jaahl and the other eight survivors of the raid all contracted lethal doses of Chronostatic radiation and were dead within an hour. Slowly, with pain flaring in his joints, Vaahn pushed himself to his feet. "Uikke, are you my peer?" "I am your brother-" Uikke began, but Vaahn cut him off. "Answer the question! Are you my peer or not?" Bristling with annoyance, Uikke answered sharply. "I am not." "Then what right do you have to judge me or the choices I have made? Answer!" "I... have no right." Vaahn leaned in close. "Then this will be the end of it. I do not have to wish to speak of this matter again. Jaahl was my brother as well, and I mourn him still, just as you do..." The old Kyyreni swayed, clutching this throat and giving a hoarse cry. "Brother? Are you alright?" "I... my throat hurts. I dont..."

* * *

"Vaahn? Are you okay?" Slowly, amorphous blur in Vaahn's heat sense focused into the familiar surroundings of his bedroom. He opened his eyes and stared into Jas' face. The young Aspatrian was curled up in Vaahn's bed with one arm wrapped protectively around the five year old Kyyreni. "Are you okay?" Jas asked again. "You were talking in your sleep." "What was I saying?" "Couldn't really tell. You were tossing and turning a lot as well." Vaahn gave a tender gulp and rubbed his throat. The doctors had said it would take a week to fully recover. The scar that now ran from jaw to sternum was still raw and pink. He subconsciously traced the path of the wound with his finger. "I just..." Vaahn shrugged the thought away. "I'm alright. Do you think we can get up now?" "It's still kind of early." Jas answered, but Vaahn was already wriggling his way out from under the covers. Pausing to find his necklace, a talisman of three circles overlapping, Vaahn made himself comfortable at his desk and practiced writing. Jas watched for a few minutes before curling back up and going back to sleep.

* * *

It was strange having Vaahn around on a school day. Though hed been insisting everything was fine since he got home, it was obvious he was troubled. He was more timid than usual, unwilling to be drawn into conversation and hesitant around his parents or any other adult that visited. He spent most of his time working; he'd seemed almost relieved when he learned the school had sent work assignments home.

Chloe came into the living room to find Vaahn scowling at the computer screen. She recognised the standard school formatting of a work document, and quickly read the title; there wasn't much else to read. "Having trouble?" she asked, fetching a chair so she could sit beside her son. Vaahn nodded in reply. The essay was titled the importance of equality. He stared at the words as if they offended him. "I'd have thought youd have done something by now. What's holding you up?" After a pause, Vaahn answered, "I dont believe in equality." He sipped from his glass of juice carefully. "Care to expand on that?" Vaahn cleared his throat. "Our culture has a system of judgement by peers. It means... well, I was a Noble Lord. That means only other Lords can judge whether what I did was right or wrong. The Arbiters were kind of an exemption, but ultimately the idea is sound; a Thrall never has to carry the burden of a Lord, so has no right to say if the Lord was right or wrong." It didn't take Chloe long to jump to the obvious conclusion. "You feel you were unjustly Rejuvenated?" The way the boy avoided the question was answer enough. "Alright, but what about these Thralls? What if you wronged one of them? Say you stole from a Thrall, or murdered one? Just for the sake of argument, how would they get justice?" "Like I said, I'd be judged by my peers." Vaahn answered. "If they felt my actions were unjustified, action would be taken." "And what if they happened to agree, but your victim disagreed?" Vaahn rolled his eyes. "That's why we have Arbiters, but your hypothetical doesnt work in the real world; any House that abused their station would literally be torn apart by its rivals. We don't believe in letting the weak and corrupt have power. Since I was fourteen years old I knew every choice I made had consequences not only for me, but for my family, my House and many more besides." He turned to his mother and asked bluntly, "Have you ever had to decide who lives and who dies? Have you ever looked into the eyes of someone you cared about and known you will never see them again, because of the choice you made? Do you have ANY idea how it feels to condemn thousands, even millions of people to death because of the choices you made?" Chloe found herself taken aback by the sudden sharpness of the boys question. "No, I haven't." "Well I have." Vaahn snapped, breaking eye contact. "That is the burden I have had to bear all my life; deciding who lives and who dies. I've lost friends, cousins and nephews, brothers and sons... I gave them their orders knowing they might not come back, and many of them never did. It used to be easy; everyone dies eventually, and you take solace that they died well. When you get old, when there's not many people left to lose, you start to feel the pain of loss more keenly." His finger ran along the scar on his neck. His throat was itching again and so he drank the last of his juice to sooth it. Chloe watched as the boy shifted in his seat, hunching his shoulders and fidgeting with his collar, as if trying to hide from her. A gentle, supporting arm was placed around Vaahn's shoulders. "Is there something you want to talk about beside your homework?" "Not with you." Vaahn croaked in reply, now focused completely on the keyboard in front of him. "Who with then?" Chloe asked. "Vaahn, as tough as you might like to act, I don't believe even you can just shrug this off. You've been through a traumatic experience and you need to come to terms with it. Pretending nothing happened wont' work, so let me help you, let us all help you." She lifted the boy onto her lap without protest and held him tightly. "There are a lot of people who care about you, and we all want to see you well again. You have counsellors in school and your friends and family at home. Who is it you want to talk to?" It took Vaahn quite a while to come up with an answer. "Lucy." He said at last. "I think she'd understand." "I'm sure talking about what happened will help you both. Why dont I go give her a call?" She stroked the Kyyreni boy's head gently. And don't worry about your homework; I'll contact the school and explain you need more time.

* * *

Vaahn stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He wasnt sure how long hed been staring at himself, but it felt like years. He glanced away and rubbed his eyes, turning back to find that his reflection no longer moved with him. Now there was another Vaahn stood on the other side of the glass. The doppelganger smiled at him. "What? What are you?" Vaahn stammered. The reflection began to change. The figure grew in size and began to age rapidly, wounds and old scars forming as Vaahn watched on. He winced as the clone's left eye burst and the skin ruptured, becoming a distinctive wound that he had carried since the age of fourteen. He tried to turn away but something compelled him to watch as a lifetime's worth of injuries manifested themselves in a heartbeat. Finally, Vaahn found himself looking at the man he once was himself, approximately thirty five years of age. "Who are you?" The reflection asked. Hesitant, the Kyyreni boy answered, "I-I am Vaahn T'rol, son of Brahlt, of the H-house of Tu'ri." "That is who you claim to be." The reflection growled. "That is not who you are. You sully my name by claiming it as your own!" "B-but you... but I..." "Be silent." The reflection dismissed Vaahn's attempt to speak with a wave of its hand. "You are not Vaahn of Tu'ri. Vaahn was never so weak willed. Vaahn was never so pathetic. I do not know who you are, but you are not who you claim to be. You are a ghost, a thieving spirit who should be cast back into limbo. Allow me to speed you on your way..." The reflection lunged out of the glass.

There was a moment of total disorientation. Vaahn lay panting in his bed, mind reeling as he struggled to remember who he was, let alone where. Slowly, understanding returned; he was in his bed. His mother had put him here for a nap. She'd even given him a cookie first. The creature in the mirror was not real. It was only a nightmare. Slowly, another realisation came to him; he had wet himself in his sleep. With the words of his dream still burning in his mind, Vaahn gently curled up into a ball and let his tears soak into his pillow.

* * *

When Lucy arrived she looked as though she hadn't slept in a week, and that was because she hadn't. Normally strong and full of energy, the ex-Marine looked absolutely drained when Chloe opened the door and welcomed her in. She settled herself onto the couch and, despite her fatigue, found the strength to give a warm smile to her host. "Always a pleasure to see you, Chloe! How are things?" "Oh I think were a long way from normality here." She admitted. "Jas wanted to go back to school as soon as possible, but hell be seeing the counsellor for a while yet. Vaahn's well enough medically speaking, but he really doesn't want to go." "Did he tell you that?" Chloe shook her head. "Jas did. He talks to Jas about things, but he doesnt really talk to me. This morning was the first time he opened up properly." Lucy nodded. "He's a stubborn little boy when he wants to be, and he always wants to be. Is he upstairs?" "Yes. It should be time to wake him from his nap by now." Lucy stood up as Chloe turned to head upstairs. "Why don't I go wake him? Besides, he'll probably be more comfortable in his room." She came upstairs to find Vaahn sobbing, and it did not take long to find out why. Wordlessly, Lucy lifted the boy out of bed and carried him into the bathroom, leaving him there while the tub filled up and passing the word on to Chloe what had happened. "I suppose we can always have a chat here if you prefer." Lucy said as jovially as she could manage as she lifted Vaahn into the warm water. "I seem to recall you always enjoyed bath time." "I wish you hadn't seen this." Vaahn mumbled, flicking his tail aside so he could sit down comfortably in the tub. "These things happen, as you well know. Its perfectly normal to have an accident now and then." "Maybe," Vaahn replied, closing his eyes as Lucy poured water over his head. "But it doesn't make it any less humiliating." The statement was followed by a harsh spit of Ruljigcyyt, Vaahns native tongue. Lucy paused the bathing. "Care to tell me what that meant?" No answer was forthcoming. "So you've fallen back into that habit, have you? When did this start?" Vaahn bared his teeth at the question and clenched his eyes tight shut. "Just... just leave it, please." Carefully, Lucy put down the scrubbing brush she'd been using. "Alright, Vaahn, its time you made up your mind how you want this to go. I know something's wrong, and I need you to tell me what it is. I'd rather you told me of your own accord; we both know what happens if you dont'." Vaahn stood with his head dropped low; his reply was barely audible. "I... I dont want to go back to school." The Kyyreni boy confessed. "Why is that?" Lucy asked. The boy stared at his reflection in the bath water. "I just know I'll go back and Miss Roughsedge will give me some big speech about what I did was wrong, and I... I can't take that. I wont let them tell me I was wrong to save Jas' life..." he looked back toward Lucy and added, "or yours." Lucy gave Vaahn a reassuring pat on the head. "Don't worry; nobody's going to blame you for anything." She resumed cleaning his fur. "I wish I could believe you."

* * *

He was home. The smell of corn grass mixed with the tang of fireworks and bonfires as the whole city came alive in a night like no other. The Revelry, a weeklong celebration where grudges were forgotten and misery cast aside, was all around him. It called to him, compelling him to join in the orgy of frivolity and bestial depravity. Drink and drugs, songs and sex, gorging on food and losing yourself in the flowing, organic parties in the city's thoroughfares; memories of dozens of days and nights surrendered to Revelries past flooded back, which made resisting all the more difficult.

Yet resist he did; he had no memory of how he'd returned to Urokon and so, reluctantly, he forced himself to accept it was a fantasy. Still, he let himself be tempted by a half naked woman handing out sticky blue pastries, shivering with delight as the sweet taste of the outer coating mixed with the hot, sour meat within. Upo. They were called upo, and he loved them. Distracted by the indulgence, Vaahn momentarily let the Revelry steer his course, hooked by the strumming of familiar chords and voices raised in song. It was an old song, one hed learned at the age of ten and had sung with his men many times. It was a song his father taught him. He wandered toward a tavern with its doors open wide, and caught the chorus as he drifted past the threshold. "Our stomachs are empty, and so is the hold, and we will be hungry tomorrow were told!" By chance he caught sight of his own reflection in a mirror; the old, time-worn face of a full grown man. Vaahn stared at himself, lost for a moment, before ripping his eyes away. Panic rose in his heart; now he knew this place was not real.

A hand gripped him by the shoulder and span him round. He yelped in panic, suddenly a child again, as his demon-self emerged once more. "This is no place for you!" The doppelganger snarled, locking a hand around the true Vaahn's throat and hoisting him off his feet. "Why have you come back here? How dare you taint this place with your presence!" "Let... me... GO!" Vaahn kicked out wildly, connecting with his foe's muzzle and sending the clone staggering backward. The other Kyyreni in the bar seemed not to notice the bizarre struggle. "You dare strike me? You think you can defeat me?" The creature's eyes shone with an unholy light as it staggered back to its feet. Vaahn turned toward the door to run, only to find his way barred. Framed in the doorway was an Aspatrian a young man he had known all his life. "Jas?" "Jas?" The clone parroted. "You think he can help you? You think running to your little whore is going to protect you from me?" Vaahn wasn't listening; he'd made his choice, and was already running when the creature hurled itself at him again.

* * *

It was another bad morning with a wet bed. Vaahn was given a quick bath before breakfast and then he and Jas were taken off to school. It was strange for Jas to see Vaahn clutching his pendant protectively. Nevertheless, he managed to regain his usual confidence by the time hed entered the building proper. The two boys found a familiar gathering waiting for them; Jakob, Rebecca and Simon were all stood outside the classroom. Simon waved as they drew closer. "Hey! How're you doing?" The boy said as Vaahn and Jas drew closer. I"'m good." Vaahn replied. He turned to Jakob and added, "How about you?" I"'m fine, why shouldnt I be?" She snapped. Vaahn saw Simon mouthing 'don't ask' and chose not to press it further. Before long a familiar voice was heard. "Is there a reason so many Pennys are stood around outside my classroom?" The group turned around to see their teacher, Mrs Langley approaching. She was quite popular for a teacher, gifted as she was with a kind face, frizzy chestnut hair and a surprising amount of presence for someone so petite. She spotted Vaahn quickly and announced, "Oh, I see! Its good to have you back, Vaahn. Im sure you're all concerned for one another, but Im afraid that has to wait for the playground. Go on, everyone inside or I'll be forced to mark you as tardy." No matter how nicely it was delivered, a threat like that could not be ignored. The children quickly found their seats and the lesson began, though Vaahn found himself longing for the end of the lesson far more than usual.

After an eternity of study, the playground beckoned. Vaahn, Jas and Simon gravitated together as they moved outside, though Jakob had disappeared along the way. "She is really messed up." Simon said as they walked. "I think the stress of it is getting to her; she's seeing the counsellor every day." "Have you thought of seeing the counsellor? It might help with, well, you know." Vaahn shook his head. "No, Jas. I dont need to see him. Or... or at least I shouldn't need to. Trust me, I'll be fine." Jas gave Vaahn a worried look. "You know, everyone always says theyre fine, or they just need to be left alone, even the ones who really do need help. Thats why nobody ever believes you when you claim you're alright." For a moment it looked as if Vaahn was going to snap at Jas, but he shrugged off whatever reply he'd intended. "Jas... I give you my word that if I need help or guidance or whatever, that I will tell you. Is that good enough?" Jas nodded and smiled. "It is." "Then can you please tell everyone else that? Nobody else believes my word is worth anything." The boys emerged into the sunlight, drifting towards the east side of the hardtop where a football pitch was marked out in yellow paint. Some Pennys were already there playing line-tag. One of the boys broke off and approached them. "Hey Vaahn!" Danny called cheerfully. "Your girlfriend's not around then?" "No idea where she is." Vaahn answered. "And were not a couple." Danny chuckled, shrugging off the correction. "I'm kind of glad youre back though. Maybe you can put her in her place; shes been milking that whole near-death stuff for everything she can." Simon and Jas both stared at Danny in shock. "Are you serious? You really think that?" Simon gasped. Jas shook his head in disbelief. "You're a terrible person, you know that?" "He wouldn't be here if he wasnt, Jas." Vaahn said. Danny waved off the comments. "Well sorry for trying to keep you up to date! Why the jab at me, Vaahn? I thought we were friends." "Jakobs a friend too, Danny. Try to remember that."

With a quick glance past Vaahn's shoulder, Danny sped back to the game. The three boys turned to see what had scared him off and found Jakob bearing down on them. "You were talking to me behind my back, weren't you?" "No! Not at all!" Simon insisted. "We just... were just worried about you." She threw her hands onto her hips and huffed. "You're worried about me? Why? Because I'm a weak, scared little girl? Because I'm not a big, bad, mass-murder like Vaahn? Because I actually get UPSET when people try to kill me TWICE?" Vaahn backed away under the sudden storm of abuse. "Jakob, what the hell's up with you?" "Like you'd ever understand!" She spat back. "Even as a bloody Penitatas you're still hell bent on killing people whenever you get the chance! You Kyyreni are all the same; all rapid animals! You should all be put down!" Jas tried to step between them, but Jakob shoved him out of the way. "Vaahn's face set into a mask of anger. "Jakob, you are really pushing it now." "What are you going to do then, huh? You going to KILL me, Vaahn?" She punctuated her cry with a forceful shove that almost put Vaahn on his back. The rest of the playground began to shift, sensing the storm breaking. Simon bolted away to find the teacher on duty. Vaahn's jaw locked into a snarl. His hands unconsciously balled into fits, and his body automatically slipped into a fighting stance. "Jakob, you are walking into the Day here. Dont do this." Jakob replied with a sudden kick to the crotch, following her attack with a fast left hook that caught Vaahn across his muzzle. He staggered back, raising his arms to block a pair of wild swings. Around them the crowd erupted, the ancient chant of "Fight! Fight! Fight!" summoning everyone to the scene. "Why don't you hit back?" Jakob snapped. "Whats the matter, you turned coward all of a sudden?" Vaahn wasn't given time to reply. The Medicalos threw herself at him again, tackling him and slamming him into the ground. Before Jakob could take advantage of her position, however, she was dragged off of the Kyyreni boy by Miss Roughsedge. "Jakob Romanov you will stop this RIGHT NOW!" The woman's fury was enough to silence the entire playground. "Vaahn, come with me to my office!" Not waiting to see if the boy was following, she turned and physically dragged Jakob back into the school. Vaahn rolled onto his front and pushed himself upright, growling and dusting himself off as he did so. Jas placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and said quietly, "you did the right thing." "We'll see." Vaahn muttered, not making eye contact with the gathered Rejuves as he made the long walk to the headmistress' office.

He spent twenty minutes sat in the reception, all the while rubbing his hands together and trying not to think about what was in store. Once or twice he sighed the words I want to go home, as if the phrase could undo the day from history. Finally, and to his surprise, Miss Roughsedge appeared via the hallway. She paused in front of the boy and said, "Vaahn, come inside," gesturing for him to follow her into her office. "Where's Jakob?" Vaahn asked, puzzled. "I decided to send her to the counsellor. She will wait with him until her parents arrive. I've also been talking with your classmates to find out exactly what happened." She circled around her desk and took her seat, pointing at one of the two seats to indicate Vaahn should do the same. "Tell me, in your own words, what happened out there." Vaahn sat down carefully. "We'd just gone onto the playground when Jakob turned up. She picked a fight with me pretty much straight away. She hit me a few times, but I never hit her back I swear!" "So you didnt provoke her at all?" "No!" Vaahn shook his head energetically. "I didn't do anything to her." To Vaahn's surprise, the headmistress seemed satisfied with his answers. "There were plenty of witnesses to the event. One or two boys claimed you started the fight and that you hit her, but I am confident they are lying, and they will be reminded that lying is wrong." She paused for a moment, allowing Vaahn's gaze to drift to the paddle that hung on the wall behind her chair. "Vaahn, you did the right thing out there. Fighting back is never right." This made Vaahn's mouth split into a snarl. "Fighting back is the reason Im here today." He tilted his head up to show off his scar. There was a heavy silence in the pause that followed. Slowly, Miss Roughsedge stood up from her seat and, with great care, walked around her desk to stand in front of the Kyyreni boy. "Vaahn, I think it would be best for all concerned if you went home early today. I think you are still struggling with recent events. Some time to think about what happened today would be good for you." If anything, the womans calm outlook only made Vaahn's mood worse. "You're a hypocrite." He growled. "You've told me time and again that violence is never the answer, yet here I am with blood on my hands and you don't dare lift a finger against me. Everything you ever tried to teach me was a lie!" With his final outburst he threw himself to his feet. "I'll be back in a moment." She answered calmly, leaving the office to have Vaahn's mother summoned. When she returned Vaahn was stood where shed left him, visibly shaking and fighting back tears. Calmly, she sat back down in her chair. "I'm not giving you what you want," she stated in a confident and composed manner. "It would be so much easier for you if you could blame all your anger and fear and confusion on me, instead of having to face your inner demons. It would be much easier for you to carry on assuming that I and everyone else are out to get you, instead of facing the truth. I'm sorry Vaahn, but you wont provoke me." Vaahn stared at her, unable to decide how to answer. In the end, he settled for storming out of the office, and sat sulking in the reception until his mother came for him.