A Hunting We Will Go!, Chapter 4
#2 of Junk
My stories are copyrighted, so NO takee!
A Hunting We Will Go, Chapter 4
By William W. Kelso
"This," Sir DeLancy said as he eyed the signs with a distinct look of dismay, "Is not good."
The signs at the branch in the road read: Sign #1, 'Here There Be Monsters, Sign #2, 'Dragon', with an arrow pointing to the left branch in the road. Sign #3, 'Dragon, really big mean ugly one.', with an arrow pointing to the right branch in the road. Pip had landed on top of the sign pole, and was bobbing her head up and down making little hissing sounds as if she disapproved as well.
"That," Jenkins said, "is an understatement if I ever heard one. This is a bloody disaster!"
"No kidding," Bodkins snorted, "One Dragon is bad enough, but TWO! Snort!" The dour warhorse had a very low opinion of ANYthing with fangs, and Dragons were right at the top of the list.
Jenkins, shifting in his saddle to help rearrange his 'problem' to a hopefully more comfortable position, nodded in agreement, and added, "I still think we ought to think this over for awhile. I mean, which one would be the worst; or better yet, the least meanest?
"If the signs aren't meant to mislead us, that is." Bodkins said, "I mean; the least 'meanest' Dragon could be the worst of the two."
"They're probably both, big, mean, and ugly." Jenkins muttered. "All Dragons are you know."
"Megan, Gertrude?" Sir DeLancy asked, "Any ideas?"
"Don't look at me; you're the knight on a quest." Megan said, "I don't want to start a fight with a Dragon. I'd just leave the poor things alone if it was up to me."
"Gertrude?" Sir DeLancy asked again, then, "GERTRUDE!?!"
"Not so loud already, I heard your first bellow!" The gray donkey answered with a snort.
"Then why didn't you answer?" Sir DeLancy said, looking around, "And where ARE you, anyway?"
"I'm over here in the shade," Gertrude said, "If you lot want to sit in the sun and broil your brains that's fine by me, but not this little donkey."
"Sounds good to me." Bodkins whickered.
"Good idea." Jenkins said.
"Yes, I could go for that." Megan said, turning her mount's nose towards the shade the trees offered. Pip gave a hiss of evident agreement, and swooped over to land on top of one of Gertrude's packs.
"Indeed, capital idea." Sir DeLancy said, "We can discuss this in the shade just as easily as in the sun."
"Just because I turned myself into a donkey doesn't mean I'm stupid." Gertrude said, then added "Wait a minute, that didn't come out right!"
Megan laughed, Jenkins and Sir DeLancy snickered, and Bodkin's snort sounded rather amused as well.
"Oh, ...poo!" Gertrude snorted, ears drooping.
"Ahh, this is much better!" Jenkins said, grunting as he dismounted. Reaching inside his baggy pants he adjusted his 'harness'. Oh yeah, much better; he thought.
"Ahh, snort!" Bodkins echoed Jenkins as Sir DeLancy dismounted.
Sir DeLancy chuckled as he gave the tired horse an affectionate slap on his rear, "Just be glad I'm not in my armor." He said.
"Oh, I am, you have no idea!' The horse responded, and then lowered his head to nibble at some tender looking grass.
As the livestock; including the talking ones, grazed sleepily in the noonday heat the humans got as comfortable as possible. Pip took the opportunity to do some exploring, and hopefully to find a nice shiny pretty to play with.
"Well, this is a fine mess." Sir DeLancy said after they'd all cooled off a little bit and had a drink of not-quite warm water. "I mean, I've never even seen a Dragon before, and when I finally have a chance at one, TWO show up! Bother!"
"Well, I say we head back to the old mill and think about this for awhile." Jenkins said.
"Jenkins, that's not helpful," Sir DeLancy said, "So, shut up, unless you have a good idea."
"Thought that WAS a good idea." Jenkins muttered; and then when he saw the knight glaring at him; said, "Yeah, I know, shut up Jenkins."
"Well," Bodkins said, "If we're still going to try and commit suicide, I vote we go after one of the Dragons, but not the 'really big mean ugly one'. And hopefully the other won't be quite as, well, big, mean, and ugly."
"Maybe we could scout around a bit first, see if we can get a look at them before we decide on which one to annoy." Jenkins said.
"That's not a bad idea, actually." Sir DeLancy said.
"Really?" Jenkins said; it wasn't every day he had an idea that wasn't all bad and/or stupid. Not that he was stupid, he was just practical. He thought going after large fire breathing reptiles WAS the ultimate bad idea, but knew better than to say so as his boss had an entirely different opinion on the matter, and said matter wasn't open for discussion. At least not with the help.
Meanwhile Megan had gotten up and gone to check on the livestock, and have a talk with a certain donkey. As the three males (two human, and one horse; or maybe one human, one horse, and one human/donkey hybrid) continued to talk about the various merits of pissing off large vicious antisocial reptiles, she and Gertrude had a little heart to heart chat.
"Well, should be tell them?" Megan said, pretending to be checking Suzie's hooves for stones.
"Hell no." Gertrude said, pretending to be grazing, "I'm still hoping they'll chicken out and give up on this stupid idea."
"If it was just Jenkins and Bodkins I'd agree," Megan said, "But you know Brian, he's bound and determined to slay a Dragon and make a name for himself. He believes in all that chivalry stuff."
"It sounds good, but seldom works out that way in practice." Gertrude muttered, "Just like communism; give me good old feudalism any day. Most likely he'll end up as another poor dead schmuck who couldn't mind his own business and leave well enough alone, and got stomped and fried for his trouble."
"Oh Gods, I hope not!" Megan said.
"You really like him, don't you?" Gertrude asked.
"Yes, I do." Megan said.
"Why?" Gertrude asked, turning her large head to look at Megan with both eyes.
"Because he really IS a knight." Megan said softly, "Not some poser or over sexed jackass. Do you know...rare that is?"
"Hey!" Gertrude brayed, "I'm a donkey, NOT a jackass!"
"Sorry, present company exempted." Megan snickered. "And you like Jenkins; don't deny it, and if Brian gets snapped up you know he'll be next. He may be a devout coward, but he's even more loyal. If his master gets in a fix he'll go to the rescue, the big dummy."
"That's true enough," Gertrude said, "what that man can do in bed! Ohh, I get wet just thinking about it, as a woman OR a donkey!"
"Eww." Megan muttered. She tried to envision that, and added another "Ewww!"
"Don't knock it till you've tried it!" Gertrude snorted, "Besides, it's not like its bestiality you know, he's quite the Jack where it counts! And you wouldn't believe how big, and insatiable, he is! Haaaw! Oh baby!"
"Ew-Ew-Ewwww!" Megan said, blushing.
"But you're right," Gertrude said, "I'd be...upset, if anything happened to Jenkins, and Brian is all right too, for a knight. And we need to warn our friend too; send Pip with a message, let him know to be expecting company. By the way, where IS Pip?"
"Oh, you know her," Megan said, "She's off exploring, can't sit still for a minute. But as soon as she shows up I'll send her ahead with a message."
"A message for who?" A deep voice suddenly asked.
Gertrude spun around with a snort, and Megan gave a squeal of fright, turning to find Bodkins standing right behind her.
"Don't DO that, and it's NOT nice to spy on a private conversation!" Gertrude snorted angrily.
"Yeah," Megan said, "You liked to have scared me half to death!"
"And it's not nice to talk behind someone's back!" Bodkins snorted back, "And you always seem to forget I'm intelligent! I could hear you all the way over there!" And he flicked his ears to emphasize his point.
"Ah-Haw! The intelligence part is debatable!" Gertrude muttered, "And I keep forgetting about those ears of yours; they must be as sensitive as mine! It's amazing how much better I can hear with these things."
"They are, aren't they?" Bodkins said smugly. "Now, what were you 'not' going to tell us about? And what's this about a message? Hmm?? Snort!"
"Stop snorting snot all over me!" Megan said, wiping at her dress.
"Sorry." Bodkins apologized.
"Slob." Gertrude said.
Megan sighed, and said, "I was going to tell them anyway, they need to know, Gertrude! Even if it just helps them pick the right Dragon to fight, or not!"
Gertrude said, "I know, damn it, and I agree. I just wish things could go back to the way they were before your knight in shining armor showed up and screwed up everything!"
"What, you mean being lonely and sex starved?" Megan said.
"Good point." Gertrude conceded.
"Hey, I'm still here, you know!" Bodkins said. "You can talk about your sex lives later, but now we need to tell them what you know. Come on."
"What's all that about, I wonder?" Sir Delancy said, indicating the two animals and woman apparently engrossed in a deep conversation.
"I have a feeling we're about to find out." Jenkins said as the three of them headed towards them.
"I think the ladies have something important to tell us." Bodkins said smugly as they walked up, and Megan sat down by the two men.
"Stupid sneaky eavesdropping horse." Gertrude muttered.
"It's about the Dragons," Megan said, not looking the men in the face. "We, um, know them. Well, one anyway." Gertrude just nodded her head in agreement.
There was total silence for a few seconds, then Sir DeLancy roared, "YOU WHAT!?!" Jenkins just stared, his mouth open revealing thicker squarer teeth then a human should have.
"Hey, watch the volume!" Gertrude squealed, "These ears aren't just for show, you know! Jeez!"
Sir DeLancy ignored the donkey's complaint, and roared again, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU KNOW THE DRAGONS!?!"
"Um, just one of them." Megan squeaked.
Sir Delancy had leapt up, and was waving his arms around like he was trying to fight off an attack by a swarm of bees; and Bodkins backed up, snorting in alarm as flailing arms came too close to his sensitive nose for comfort more than once.
"Steady on, old chap!" Bodkins snorted.
"BUT-ER-DER-AAARRGGGHHH!" Sir DeLancy screamed, and then stalked off in a rage.
"I think he's upset." Megan said meekly, Gertrude just staring after the wildly gesturing man, ears straight up as she listened to some truly astonishing profanity.
"Yes, that's a reasonable assumption." Jenkins said, "And what exactly DO you mean when you say you know one of the Dragons?"
"He's really quite a nice fellow," Gertrude said, "He has a lovely art collection."
"And he taught us our magic." Megan added.
"And they were going to send Pip to warn the Dragon we're coming." Bodkins said.
"Bodkins!" Megan said angrily, "Ratfink!" Gertrude added.
"Wait for me, milord!" Jenkins yelled, getting up and following Sir DeLancy, "You're going to love this bit!"
"HE TAUGHT THEM WHAT!!" Came a loud bellow a minute later. Then an even louder, 'THEY WERE GOING TO DO WHAT!?!?"
"Good Heavens!" Bodkins said.
"Shut up!" Megan and Gertrude said at the same time. The mule and mare just looked at one another, and went back to grazing. Humans! Bodkins just snorted; a hurt look on his muzzle.
"NOW; sorry, now," Sir DeLancy said; after he'd finally calmed down to the point he was at least coherent; and doing his best to keep his tone down, "Just what do you mean about knowing this Dragon?"
"And it collects art and taught them magic!" Jenkins said.
"Jenkins, Shut UP!" Sir DeLancy said.
While his squire moped, Sir DeLancy slowly got the story out of the two reluctant witches. He tried to keep his voice down, but it was hard.
"Well, you see." Megan said, "He; the Dragon, showed up about ten years ago, give or take a few months."
"Wait a second," Sir DeLancy said, "I thought it showed up and started terrorizing the countryside about five years ago!"
"No, no!" Gertrude said, "That's the other Dragon! The mean one."
"I thought they were BOTH mean!" Bodkins snorted.
"Yeah!" Jenkins agreed.
"No, just the second one, the first one is nice." Megan said.
Sir DeLancy shook his head, and raising his hand he pointed at them one at a time until they'd all shut up, and said, "ONE at a time, PLEASE! You; Megan, go first. THANK you!"
"Um, oh my, were to start!" She muttered.
"How about from the first time you met the Dragon?" Sir DeLancy suggested, smiling and gritting his teeth.
"The mean one, or the nice one?" Megan asked.
Sir DeLancy clenched his fingers into a fist, and blew into it to calm himself down, then said in a deceptively mild voice, "The nice one, please."
Jenkins looked for the nearest exit from the clearing; he knew that tone of voice. It was like the calm before a volcano blew up.
"Well, where to start?" Megan mused, "Let's see, I first met Sebastian about ten years ago, give or take a month or two." Then she paused when Sir DeLancy held up a finger, and asked,
"And who, pray tell, is Sebastian? Another magic user, a warlock perhaps? The Devil?"
"No, silly, that's his name; the Dragons, I mean!" Megan replied.
"Ah!" Sir DeLancy said, "The Dragon has a name, how nice. Pray tell, please do continue."
Jenkins started edging towards the cover of a nearby tree trunk. Sir DeLancy was a fairly level headed fellow, but when he did lose his temper it could be...rather spectacular. Especially if you were on the receiving end, so best to take precautions.
"Well, as I was saying before I was interrupted," Megan continued, "I met Sebastian quite by accident. There was a really bad storm, and it was pouring down rain like you wouldn't believe. I was lost, and took cover in a cave. And as it turns out it was his lair."
How else does one meet a Dragon? Jenkins wondered, but was wise enough not ask the question out loud.
"And he didn't just gobble you up?" Sir DeLancy asked, "What did he do, invite you in for tea and crumpets?"
"Exactly," Megan replied, "but it was toast and marmalade, he doesn't care for crumpets. The poor dear was lonely, you see."
"Good Heavens." Bodkins snorted.
Jenkins, close your mouth." Sir DeLancy said absently, "and shut up Bodkins."
Jenkins snapped his mouth closed, and Bodkins just shook his head and did as he was ordered, he couldn't think of anything else to say anyway. He tried to envision a Dragon drinking tea and eating toast, and gave another snort.
"So," Sir DeLancy said, "After tea time, what happened?"
"Wellll," Megan said, "He invited me to come and visit anytime, and after we got to know each other better he taught me how to improve some of my magic, and Gertrude too. He likes company, and is a good teacher."
"And Gertrude came to know the Dragon; I mean Sebastian, how...?"
"I introduced her." Megan replied.
"AH!" Sir DeLancy said, "Now we're getting somewhere! You two have been in league with the beast all along! So tell me, why did he suddenly decide to start terrorizing the countryside?"
"He didn't." Gertrude said.
"Then WHO or WHAT has been burning down the village, eating all the livestock, tearing up the joint, and ruining the tourist trade!?!" Sir DeLancy yelled, face red.
"The OTHER Dragon, the MEAN one!" Megan and Gertrude said at the same time.
"Oh, right, forgot about him!" Jenkins said, sticking his head out from behind a tree.
"Jenkins, shut UP!" Everyone said at the same time, and Jenkins ducked back behind the tree. Bodkins wisely kept his mouth shut.
"Oh yeah, right, no one ever listens to me anyway!" Jenkins muttered, sulking.
"Listen," Gertrude said, "The other Dragon, the MEAN one, showed up about five years ago; evicted poor Sebastian from his lair, and started running around mucking everything up! Poor old Sebastian had to move into another lair, a much smaller one and not near as nice."
"Sooo." Sir DeLancy said, "It's safe to assume the two Dragons are not in league with one another?"
"If that means they don't get along, then you're right." Gertrude said, "They hate each other's guts."
"An' how." Megan said, nodding.
"Which might work to our advantage," Jenkins said, sticking his head around the tree again, but ready to duck back in a second if something was thrown at him. "If we can talk the nice Dragon into helping us gang up on the mean Dragon. I mean, it would even up the odds a bit, don't you think?"
Sir DeLancy started to tell Jenkins to shut up again; which was his normal response to most of what his squire said, but then did a double take. That wasn't a bad idea at all!
"Brilliant!" Sir DeLancy said.
"Yeah, I know, shut up Jenkins," Jenkins muttered, then sticking his head around the tree again, added, "Wait a second, WHAT did you say!?"
"I said that's a brilliant idea!" Sir DeLancy said, "We play the two Dragons off against one another, then we'll only have the survivor to face! And hopefully he'll be wounded, and easier to slay!"
"THAT'S HORRIBLE!" Megan and Gertrude both squealed, "YOU BRUTE!"
"What, what did I say!?!" Sir DeLancy asked as the two females stormed off in huffs of indignation; or in Gertrude's case, snorts.
"Well," Jenkins said, "They did say one was a friend of theirs, maybe they aren't too keen on your idea of lopping his head off."
"So much for your brilliant plan." Bodkins snorted.
"Bodkins...!" Jenkins and Sir DeLancy said at the same time.
"I know, I know, shut up." The horse said morosely.
Jenkins, you go after Gertrude, and I'll try to talk some sense into Megan." Sir DeLancy said, "Bodkins, you just; well, don't do anything!"
"Oh, don't you worry," Bodkins said, "with Dragons running about this horse isn't straying anywhere. I'll just hide in the woods."
"Look, I'm sorry!" Sir DeLancy said, trying to keep up with Megan as she stormed down a path.
"That's just typical!" Megan replied, "All you knights can think of is 'slay this' or 'slay that'! Has it ever occurred to you most monsters just want to be left alone?! And if people weren't trying to kill them all the time maybe they're behave themselves and leave the peasants alone! The peasants certainly don't want to mess with them! I mean, what self respecting peasant is going to take his pitchfork and go Dragon hunting?! And if one of his goats goes missing every now and then, so what?? Happens all the time, and it could just as easily have been taken by wolves, bandits, or a hungry knight! Why do the monsters always get the blame!? And besides, they DO have to eat, you know!"
"Well, er, guess I never thought about it quite like that." Sir DeLancy muttered thoughtfully.
"That's the problem!" Megan said, stopping and whirling around to face him; almost in tears, "You never think! So far as you're concerned there's only one side to the story, YOUR side! It's a monster; I'm a knight, so I have to slay it! Doesn't matter if the so-called monster is a gentle peace loving creature, or has a wife and kids! It's just 'Yo-HO, A hunting we will go! I mean, how would you like it if total strangers kept banging on the gate to your castle, yelling 'Come on out so I can chop you into little pieces'??"
Bugger this, Sir DeLancy thought, and grabbing Megan he pulled her into a tight embrace and kissed her. He'd been wanting to do that forever.
Megan was totally taken by surprise when Brian suddenly grabbed her, and hugging her tightly gave her a kiss. She struggled briefly, slapping her hands uselessly against his chest, then melted, kissing him back just as passionately, with lots of tongue. When they finally broke apart, he said breathlessly,
"I love you, you know."
"Then prove it." Megan said.
"Here, now??" Brian said.
"Why not," Megan said quietly, "we're alone."
Sir DeLancy looked around, and realized they'd gone quite far from the camp, and were in a pleasant little clearing dappled in shade. Why not, indeed; he thought, perhaps encouraged by the feel of two large soft breasts rubbing against him in a most tantalizing way. Lowering his head a little he kissed her again, her response just as ardent.
Having disrobed in record time, he cupped and fondled her beautiful perfect breasts, gently sucking and tonguing her nipples to hardness while Megan gave soft moans of pleasure and breathed heavily. She squealed when he reached between her legs and stroked her mound, finding it damp from her growing arousal. After a final kiss he gently pushed her down on her hands and knees and circled behind her, and as he mounted her from behind; her knees and hands pressing into the soft fragrant grass covering the clearing, she threw her head back and groaned in ecstasy. He's so big, she thought in delight as he hilted and began fucking her with a slow steady rhythm. The fact they were doing it outside just added to the intensity of the pleasure they were feeling. He leaned forward and rested his head on her shoulder as he thrust, grunting in pleasure, slipping his hands under her to fondle her full firm breasts as they swayed in rhythm with his thrusts, her nipples rigid and incredibly sensitive.
"Oh, ohhhh Gods!" Megan moaned, her head hanging as she panted.
"I found them." Gertrude said softly.
"Oh my." Jenkins said, equally softly.
"I think they've got the right idea," Gertrude said, "let's find someplace nice and private, big boy."
"Oh my." Jenkins said again as he and the amorous donkey slipped quietly back into the woods, leaving the two human lovers to do some serious fucking of their own.
Bodkins; the humans all gone, as well as a certain rather annoying donkey, gave a grunt of pleasure as he mounted Suzy, the Jenny braying softly in pleasure. Yep, he thought as he covered her, being a stallion has its good points! "URHURHUR-GRUNT!"
Pip eyed the other fairy Dragon with intense interest. He; and the other Dragon was most definitely a male, was young and 'single' like her. She'd run across him getting a drink at a small spring; and she'd play-pounced on him to say 'hello', and he'd been chasing her ever since She'd stop and wait every now and then, and each time he'd land just a little closer. Then she'd take off again and the game would resume. He's nice, she thought, the 'chase' being more than just a game, she wanted to make sure he was healthy and a good flyer, which he was. Despite her best tricks and aerial aerobatics he'd kept up easily enough. Suddenly he took off, and landed on the same branch she was perched on, but a fair distance away so as not to spook her. As he moved closer she turned to face him, hissing softly, her eyes sparkling with interest. As he got closer he started bobbing his head as she watched intently.
Jenkins still had some inhibitions as he took his clothes off and hung them over a handy branch, but they weren't strong enough to keep him from accepting Gertrude's rather blatant offer; or more like a demand, for his services. Not that he didn't want to; he did, and he didn't consider it bestiality either. After all; he was part donkey himself, thanks to the potion that had changed her into a donkey; he'd gotten enough of it on himself to take him part way too. As he undid the combination breechcloth/harness to help support his equine shaped; and sized, genitals, he gave a sigh of relief as his enormous penis flopped free and his large heavy balls sagged in their shiny black scrotum, his tail swishing in freedom. Oh yeah, much better! His main concern was that, last time he and Gertrude had mated, he had changed a little bit more, adding a strip of fur down his back and rump, and his already fairly prominent overbite got even more prominent. Talk about buck teeth! But even with that knowledge he just didn't care. She was in a permanent low level estrus, and he was donkey enough to respond. The longer it was, the hornier he got. Bodkins had the same problem, but at least he had Suzie and Brunhilda to relive is needs with, and Jenkins wasn't prepared to go as far as servicing Suzie or the mare just yet! As his penis finished sliding from its partially formed sheath and swelled to readiness, veins visibly pulsing on the thick equine shaft with its odd flared head, he asked in a deep voice,
"A-Are you sure, Gertrude? You know what might happen. Maybe we shouldn't."
"I'm sorry," Gertrude said, staring hungrily at her lovers rampant penis, "but you have no idea how badly I need you! I love you Jenkins, and I want to make love with you. But not just as an animal! Damn that stupid potion! I should have just left well enough alone! I-I, maybe the potions power had worn off by now, maybe nothing with happen. I've never heard of a situation like this before."
"I might have stayed, you know." Jenkins said as she stroked the donkey's warm soft ears lovingly. "I mean, I love you too, I did from the start. After Sir DeLancy had slain the Dragon and won his fame, I would have come back to you."
"I know," Gertrude said, letting her ears droop, "But I promise I'll fix this somehow! I do NOT want to live the rest of my life like this, or leave you like that either! I was such a stupid, greedy, bitch!"
Jenkins squatted, and pulling up her head; looked in her soft brown eyes, and said, "Don't ever call yourself that, my love. You were just lonely, and so was I." And she gave a squeal of happiness when he hugged her, his male scent filling her nostrils.
Gertrude turned her head and watched as Jenkins positioned himself behind her, and lifted her tail. As she felt him grip her rump, the head of his cock pressing against the wet swollen lips of her inhuman sex; she shuddered, then as he mounted her she gave a guttural bray of ecstasy. Oh Gods, how she needed this!! Yes, yesss, oh Gods yesssss! "HAAWWW-AW-AW-AWWW!"
Jenkins grunted as he pushed deeper and deeper into Gertrude's hot slick sex, the powerful muscles of her vagina clenching and stroking his shaft. He was almost two feet long hard, and he had to work at hilting, but finally his thighs slapped against her furry rump, and with a moan he began servicing her, pulling out about ten inches before slamming back into her with each powerful lunge. He'd never felt anything like it, the pleasure was almost unbearable, increasing steadily with each thrust. Reluctantly he slowed down, wanting it to last longer, be more human like human lovemaking then just two animals rutting. But it was so hard; he needed to cum so badly!!
Brain looked down at Megan as he thrust between her spread thighs, her legs wrapped around his waist. God, what a woman; he thought! He was no bashful lad, he'd had his share of bedroom adventures, but with her it was different. He could tell she liked sex, and was no timid village maiden or pampered noble's daughter who just lay there and let him have his way with them. She was a demanding lover, taking control just as much as he did, letting him know what she liked, what she expected from a lover. And the control she had over her vaginal muscles! Good Lord, it felt like she was sucking him even as he fucked her, her sex trying to pull him in deeper with each thrust! She reached up and caressed his sweat stained face as he thrust faster and faster and he kissed her fingers, and as they reached orgasm they kissed fervently, her arms and legs wrapped tightly around him as she took all he had to give. Yes, he knew, I'm definitely in love, and he finally knew what that meant for the first time, and it was quite a nice feeling.
Bodkins rested his head on Suzie's neck, whickering softly as he serviced her. It was the second time; he'd already done her and Brunhilda once each. But she was his favorite; he could tell she enjoyed having him take his time, didn't get too worked up or prancey like most females if he took too long. She was so hot and slick; the feel of his massive cock buried to the hilt in her indescribable, and he groaned as he felt his orgasm building, having held off as long as he could. Then as his cock exploded deep in her eagerly quivering sex he threw his head back and bellowed in ecstasy, her bray almost as loud as he kept thrusting until the intense pleasure began to fade. Then with a grunt he dismounted, his mate turning to nibble and lip at his muzzle and neck in affection. Oh yeah, he thought, it's good to be a stallion! He nuzzled her back, what a female!
Pip gave a warning hiss as the male approached, then turned and scampered down the branch; but not too fast, turning her long neck to look back at him. He'd stopped and was squatting; watching, but now he dropped to all fours and followed. She flicked her tail enticingly, and with an eager hiss he hurried after her. She was an adult, but had never mated as she had still been a hatchling when Megan had found her and healed her broken wing. She loved the gentle human female, but had also yearned for those of her own kind. Though a 'virgin' in human terms she knew all about mating as she had those instincts, and needs, and it was pretty evident the male had the same idea. But she wouldn't let him have her that easy! With a chirp and hiss she took flight again just at the amorous male reached her, and with an exasperated squeal he followed her, bound and determined. He had been on his own since the alpha male of his flight had kicked him out when he reached maturity, and this female was quite possibly the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen in his life.
Jenkins lay across Gertrude's strong back, his arms gripping her wide chest as he fucked her, his rear pumping as he thrust into her. How many times had he cum already?? Three?? At least, so this would be the fourth, and he knew the last for awhile. Despite the size of his new balls he was finally running dry, and this last coupling was taking the longest, which was fine with him. He groaned as he thrust with a slow steady rhythm, it was unbelievable, the amount of pleasure almost overwhelming!! No wonder Bodkins humped the mares and Jennies every chance he got. He had remained upright the first three times, but was so tired and spent he'd finally fallen forward across her warm soft back when his back and legs began to cramp and get sore; his strokes not as fast or deep, but the pleasure was even more intense as he really had to work at reaching his next climax. Finally; at the last, he pushed back and stood up; his hands slipping back to grip her just in front of her hind legs, his aching cock sliding a little deeper into her, as he sped up his thrusts, pushing as deep into her as he could with each lunge. Oh, oh, ohhhh, yessss!!!!
"UGGHHH-UGH-UGH-HAAAAWWWW!" Jenkins brayed as he orgasmed; Gertrude squealing loudly, the intense release going on for what felt like forever, his whole body shuddering in ecstasy. "AW-AW-AWWWW!"
With a final groan of pleasure he dismounted, and straightening up gave a sigh of relief as he stretched; his back popping nicely, bending over had started to give him cramps. Ah, that was better! As an over friendly fly came buzzing too close he flicked an ear in annoyance. Damn flies!
Gertrude gave a final groan of pleasure as Jenkins dismounted; his wonderful hardness sliding from her well serviced sex for the first time in over an hour, then snorted, and with a happy nicker she turned around, and then stared in horror. She opened her mouth to try and say something, but to her surprise all she could manage was a loud "HAAAW-HEE-HAAWW!! She tried again, working her mouth and tongue, but couldn't say anything legible!! Oh God, I can't talk anymore; she realized in horror! Jenkins, ohhh NO; she thought, what have we done!!"
Jenkins stared as Gertrude brayed and made grunting sounds, her mouth and tongue working, and thought, what in the...? Then as he realized she was staring at him, he looked down and stammered, "W-Wha...the...?", and then said, "O-OH, BLOODY HELL!" in growing dismay.
Desperately Gertrude kept trying to make a sound, any sound, that was even vaguely intelligible, but her grunts and squeals were purely equine. Damn it; she thought! "HAW-HAW-HEEEE-HAAAAW!"
Jenkins stared, appalled at the sight of furry legs ending in...hooves!! And his genitals were ever larger now!! His balls had swelled noticeably, and his still partially rigid cock was...huge, it had gained at least another ten inches! He stared at Gertrude in horror, and then flicked his ear as another fly; or maybe the same one, came back for another look. Then; realizing what he'd done, he reached up and felt his ear, a long... furry...one! "HAAWWW!" He brayed in dismay. Then realizing what he'd just down, he brayed again in equal dismay.
Gertrude stared in horror at her lover, who was now most definitely as much equine as human, if not more. His jaws had bulged outward noticeably, not enough to be a true muzzle, but still noticeable, and his cock and balls! They were now fully donkey sized, much more suitable for a larger animal then the slender man though he looked stockier now. He was now fully furred from the mid stomach down; as well as a thick ruff of fur between on his chest, and had a fully formed sheath for his long thick cock, and his legs ended in large 'U' shaped hooves. From the chest up he was still mainly human, except for a pair of six inch fuzzy ears and his blunt muzzle. She just stood there, mouth open in shock, as he frantically examined his new 'additions'.
Jenkins frantically took stock of his 'new' anatomy, finding his rump was now more equine then human; tail fully formed, and except for his arms and shoulders was covered in dark gray fur, fading to white on his stomach and chest. He felt his ears again and again, the soft furry things twitching when he touched them, and he could move them, swivel them any which way he wanted, which was a weird and somewhat disconcerting feeling. And he was horribly aware of the weight of his balls, the glistening black scrotum fuller then ever and hanging even lower under the thick sheath, several inches of his cock hanging out as it appeared to be incapable of hiding the full length. Oh, bloody HELL!
"Haa-aaawwww!" Gertrude moaned; thinking, I should have known this would happen! Oh Jenkins, I'm so sorry. If only I hadn't been so...so damn horny. That was the problem when you were horny; your vagina did the thinking. "Gertrude, are you all right?" Jenkins asked as Gertrude kept braying and making deep grunting noises, her mouth and tongue contorting. Her only reply was another sad sounding bray. Then he realized in horror, "Oh, oh no, y-you can't talk anymore!"
Gertrude looked at him, tears running down her muzzle, and nodded her head resignedly. Then she hung her head she gave a soft squeal of distress. This was...was horrible!
Jenkins moaned as he kept feeling his long furry ears. "I should have known this would happen!! But damn it, I wanted you so badly!! It's my damn fault, I let my dick do the thinking for me!" And he stared down at the immense organ between his legs in dismay; the lust was still there, only dormant now. But for how long??
Gertrude gave a snort that sounded suspiciously like a giggle, and pressing her head against his leg, thought, you know, I was just thinking the same thing, only I let my pussy do the thinking! What a pair we are! "Haaaw!!"
Jenkins, his drooping ears perking up a little, crouched and gave her a hug. Gently and lovingly he fondled her ears, and said, "I don't know if I'll be able to stop myself next time. You have no idea how...how much I love you. I want to make love to you all the time. I don't care if it's as a donkey, or a man. If I have to change all the way to be with you, I won't mind. At least we'd be together."
Gertrude snuffled happily, her eyes welling, and then large thick tears started slowly running down her muzzle.
Jenkins wiped one of the tears off, and said, "I didn't mean to make you cry!"
Oh, silly boy, that's so sweet! Gertrude thought, but I'm crying because I'm happy! Oh, damn it, she wanted to tell him how much she loved him! That she'd finally found the only man; and mate, that she'd ever want!
Jenkins gently nuzzled her again. She smelled so nice, and he felt his semi-flaccid penis began to thicken again. Maybe..., but NO!! He knew if they mated again he'd end up on all fours, and her mind would probably become a donkey's. But, God, it was going to be so hard!! How he wanted her again already, the scent of her need filling his now much more sensitive nostrils. Then something suddenly occurred to him, which helped to cause his rising cock to start to go flaccid and retract again.
"I wonder what the others are going to think?" Jenkins muttered as he gently stroked Gertrude's ears. Oh, bugger, Sir DeLancey was going to freak out!
Suddenly a familiar voice said, "Good Heavens!"
"Bodkins!" Jenkins said, Gertrude squealing in surprise, "Don't sneak up on us like that!"
"Hmph!" The stallion replied, "I wasn't sneaking, you two were so infatuated with one another I could have been the Dragon, and you never would have noticed me until I snapped you up in one bite! Chomp! Sneaking! I mean, really! I do NOT sneak! Just think about it, the mere concept of something as large as I am; with hooves no less, being able to sneak around is absurd! Snort!"
"Sorry." Jenkins said, Gertrude snuffling.
"Well, I would hope so." Bodkins said. Then with a curious snort he came closer to have a look at the new 'developments'.
Jenkins stood uncertainly as Bodkins slowly circled him, embarrassed by the stallion's scrutiny. Finally the large horse shook his head, and said,
"Well, overall I think it's an improvement. You certainly smell better. But as to what Sir DeLancy and Megan might think, well, I think their response will be rather... interesting, to say the least."
"Oh, bugger!" Jenkins moaned unhappily. Sir DeLancy was going to be so pissed!
Pip snarled, hissing loudly as the male approached her. He'd finally 'cornered' her in the branch of an old tree where leaves and other debris had formed a kind of platform. She watched intently as he displayed for her, opening and snapping his wings, strutting to show off his spines and markings, head bobbing and weaving almost hypnotically. She was impressed, he WAS nice. But anytime he came too close she'd bat him with her wings, or snap her fang filled jaws at him, saying; in Dragon body language 'back off buster, I'm, not that easy!'. But his persistence; and he was a hunk, slowly wore her down and she finally folded her wings and let him approach her without trying to bite him. She nipped at him playfully as he ran his snout up and down her neck, nipping her in return, both learning the others distinct scents, bright eyes flashing as their desire for one another increased, both knowing that they had finally found what they had been looking for, for so long. He moved his nips from her neck down her side, and when he circled around behind her she was ready, and crouching she lifted her tail for her new mate. With a soft hiss he hooked a hind leg over her to pin her tail, and then mounted her with a louder hiss of pleasure, and she squealed in pain and pleasure of her own as she was penetrated for the first time. When the sudden intrusion into her vent caused her to buck a little in response he gripped the back of her head in his fangs; but gently, just enough to keep her pinned. Then as he began thrusting she quieted down, hissing and squealing in ecstasy. It was every bit as wonderful as her instincts had told it would be, and somehow she knew her belly would soon be full of eggs. Her eyes glowed brighter as her mate made love to her and gave her more pleasure then she'd ever thought possible, and she knew it would just get better.
"You," Bodkins said to Sir DeLancy and Megan as he walked into camp followed by Gertrude, "Are not going to believe this!"
"Where's Jenkins?" Megan asked.
"Hiding behind that tree." Bodkins replied.
"Which tree, and why is he hiding??" Sir DeLancy asked.
"The big one," Bodkins said, "and you'll see why as soon as he works up the courage to come out."
"Jenkins, whatever is this daft horse on about?" Sir DeLancy said, "Stop this nonsense and come out right now!"
"Daft?!" Bodkins muttered, "How rude!"
Talking a deep breath, Jenkins stepped out from behind the tree trunk, doing his best to smile. Maybe it won't be so bad. Wrong.
"Good Heavens!" Sir DeLancy said, "What have you done to yourself?!"
"Oh Gertrude, you DIDN'T!" Megan said, and then fell off the log she was sitting on, screeching in laughter.
"It's NOT funny!" Jenkins pouted, ears drooping dejectedly. "And poor Gertrude can't talk anymore."
Gertrude gave a soft bray of embarrassment.
Personally; thought Bodkins, I think that bit is an improvement. But he didn't say it out loud.
Sir DeLancy put his head in his hands, and said "Why me?? What did I do to deserve this?! Why couldn't you keep it in your pants??"
Jenkins snorted, and said, "No offense milord, but what do you mean, what did YOU do to deserve it? YOU didn't do anything, we did. And you're a fine one to talk! Seeing you and Merry Megan over there going at it is what set us off! Not to mention super stud the wonder horse! You could hear him five miles away! And I can't wear pants anymore, anyway! Snort!"
Gertrude gave a rather indignant "Haawww!" to let the knight know what she thought about his comment, agreeing wholeheartedly with Jenkins.
Sir DeLancy stared at Jenkins in amazement for a second; his squire usually wasn't prone to such outbursts, but he had to admit he did have a point, so had the decency to look rather chastised. "Sorry old chap." Sir DeLancy said sincerely.
Even with his 'harness' and robe back on the bulge in Jenkins crotch was quite visible, and with his hooves there was no way he could wear the boots he had, and while the muzzle wasn't too terribly noticeable there was no way to conceal the ears. There was no way to mistake him for anything other than something unnatural now, a beast.
"I'm sorry milord." Jenkins muttered as he sat down on a log, being very careful of his new 'equipment', and making sure his tail was out of the way as well. Even his loincloth did little to hide his 'problem'. At best it could help support; and cushion, his balls to some extent, but the top of his sheath was above the waistline, and the flared head of his cock hung out in all its equine glory. At least the monks robe covered that as well, but if he ever got hard! How embarrassing!
"Oh Jenkins," Sir DeLancy said, "I'm not mad, just...concerned old friend. What if we can't get you; and Gertrude, changed back?"
"Well," Jenkins said, "we'll mate again, there's no preventing it. And I'll change all the way, and we'll be happy together no matter...what we are, even if it's just as dumb animals. If that happens, promise you'll take care of us."
"Well, we can't let that happen!" Sir DeLancy said, "I mean, do you know how hard it is to find a good squire nowadays? And whatever would I do with two horny donkeys, anyway?"
"Thank you, milord." Jenkins replied, cheering up.
"Gertrude, how could you!" Megan scolded good naturedly, "You knew what would happen!"
Gertrude just gave a sad "Hawww" of agreement. I couldn't help it; she thought, it was wonderful! He's such a stud! And even if she lost her human mind she knew she'd at least be happy.
"Well, hopefully we'll get this straightened out for the better." Megan said, "I don't think I could handle having two horny donkeys around all the time, either!"
Bodkins just watched, thinking: Glad I'm a horse! Things were so much simpler.
As they finally got around to fixing a late dinner Jenkins looked up; startled, as Pip suddenly came swooping into camp, first buzzing him, then Megan, before flying off back into the dense foliage.
"What's gotten into her, I wonder?" Jenkins said.
"Thought you'd sent her to let the Dragon know we're coming." Sir DeLancy said.
"I thought about it." Megan said, "It would help prevent any, er, initial misunderstandings about the purpose of our visit, but Pip had already gone off exploring like she usually does. She certainly is worked up about something though."
Pip repeatedly divebombed the three humans (she still thought of Jenkins as a human despite the interesting new ears), sometimes perching briefly on their shoulders and hissing and chirping, before flying back to where her mate watched from a branch.
"Oh, look!" Megan said, "There, next to her on the branch! He's hard to see, but there's another Dragon with her!"
"Oh, right." Jenkins said, "I can see it know, it's hiding behind the leaves."
"How do you know it's a 'he'." Sir DeLaney asked.
"See the crest?" Megan said, "On the males it's much more prominent, as are their spines. He's young, about Pip's age I'd guess.
"Oh, ho!" Bodkins said, "It looks like everybody got laid, and I do mean everybody!"
With a shrill screech Pip flew down to Megan, and perching on her shoulder started nibbled her ear, chirping and hissing.
"I do believe Bodkins is right," Megan said, "Pip has found herself a mate. And he's quite handsome, isn't he?"
Pip gave a little squeal, almost as if agreeing with Megan, and then started licking her face. Taking the little Dragoness in her hands Megan held her up, and asked,
"You need to go with him, don't you, my sweet?"
Pip gave a soft hiss, and licked Megan's nose, and Megan gave the little beast a gentle hug before putting her back on her shoulder. The Dragoness gave her ear a final affectionate nibble, and then flew up into the tree to join her mate.
Lifting up her hand Megan gave a series of chirps, and to everyone else's surprise the male fairy Dragon flew down and perched warily on her wrist. She moved him a little closer until she could stare into his eyes, and said softly,
"She's yours now, you promise to take care of her, to love her as much as I do?"
The male cocked his head, then nodded gravely and gave Megan a lick and gentle nip on the nose, and then with a flurry of wings flew back to join Pip on the branch. They gave loud shrill roars, then took flight and disappeared into the dense foliage and were gone in seconds.
Megan lowered her hand, tears running down her eyes, and said, "Goodbye my dear little friend."
"I'm sorry," Sir DeLancy said, "I know you really loved her."
"I'll miss her, she was good company." Megan said, "But she's happy now, and back where she belongs."
"I'll miss her too; she was a sweet little thing." Jenkins said. "That was amazing; it was almost like he understood what you were saying."
"Not exactly," Megan said, "They can sense emotions, and he knew I was no threat and felt my love for his mate, so he 'told' me he'd take care of her from now on. They're very intelligent little creatures."
Gertrude walked over and put her head on Megan's knee, and with a smile Megan scratched her soft fuzzy nose.
The next morning; after a surprisingly good nights sleep for everyone, probably helped by the previous days strenuous...exercise; they all gathered around the campfire for breakfast, and discussed their plans for the coming day.
"Sure you don't want some bacon, Jenkins?" Sir DeLancy asked, "It's quite good."
"Um, no thanks, milord." Jenkins replied, "I think my, er, culinary interests have changed somewhat. The thought of eating meat, well, makes me feel queasy now. I think I'll stick to the biscuits and gruel."
"Your loss." Sir DeLancy said, devouring the dripping greasy meat with gusto, inwardly laughing at the look of revulsion on Jenkins face.
"The grass is good." Bodkins said, and Gertrude snorted in agreement.
"I don't think I'm quite THAT far gone!" Jenkins replied, but he thought he might give the oats a try.
"Well, if you change your mind, then you'll be cheaper to feed!" Sir DeLancy quaffed. Jenkins was not amused.
"So," Sir DeLancy said, "It's agreed, you'll, um, introduce me to this Dragon friend of yours; the nice one, and we'll see if he can be of any help against the other Dragon."
"The mean one." Bodkins said.
"Right." Sir DeLancy said.
"We're not sure if he'll be all that keen on meeting a knight," Megan said, "but at the worst he could just tell us to get stuffed and bugger off. But I think he'll be open to discussion. I know he'd like to get even with the other Dragon."
"What I don't understand," Jenkins said, "Is if they're both Dragons, why don't they get along? I mean, at least as far as being united against knights and adventurers who want to, um, you know."
"Kill them?" Megan said.
"Now look, I'm NOT going to try and kill him!" Sir DeLancy said, "I already gave my word! I'll only fight back if he attacks me! What else can I do? And I will NOT leave my sword behind! I might as well go into his lair naked!"
"Oh, I'd like to see that!" Bodkins said, and Jenkins sniggered.
"Bodkins!" Megan snapped.
"Oh, come on!" Bodkins said, "You know you would too!"
"Well, that's NOT going to happen!" Sir DeLancy said, "I don't care who I'm meeting, I wouldn't go naked even for the King himself! The very idea!"
"I was just kidding, sheesh!" Bodkins said.
"Shut up, Bodkins." Sir DeLancy said.
"Well, that still doesn't answer my question!" Jenkins snorted.
"What question?" Megan asked.
"The one about why the Dragons don't team up against knights and other adventurers!" Jenkins said.
"Oh, THAT question!" Megan replied, "It's simple they hate each other more then they hate knights. I'm sure if a knight was about to lope ones head off the other would offer to sharpen his sword for him."
"Oh, well, I guess that makes sense." Jenkins said, still not entirely convinced.
"Right," Sir DeLancy said, "now back to the matter at hand. How far is it to the lair?"
"Which one?" Jenkins asked.
"The NICE Dragon's!" Sir DeLancy said.
"Not far," Megan said, "we'll be there by noon if we leave now. And don't be so grouchy!"
To his relief Jenkins found he was still able to ride a horse; he still wasn't used to his new hooves, and not being shod was worried they might get sore or pick up a stone or something. But he had to ride with his hooves hanging down in plain sight, and his tail was too long to keep tucked under his robe anymore without it being extremely awkward and uncomfortable. Might as well get used to it; he thought. I just hope we don't run into anyone who knows me; I'd never be able to live this down.
The day was cooler then the previous one, a nice breeze blowing from the direction of the ocean, and even though it was some distance away they could smell the salt air. Everyone's mood brightened considerably as they rode along the pleasant shaded road, and they made excellent time. Even Gertrude kicked up her heels and gave a bray of pleasure every now and then. Then they came to a break in the woods, and across a large clearing loomed a low range of rocky hills. They saw the first sign as they exited the shade of the woods. The well made and lettered sign read, 'DANGER, DRAGON!" And there was a very realistic depiction of a reptilian head crushing a struggling human in its mouth, blood spurting everywhere.
"Er, um, you're SURE this is the way to the NICE Dragon's lair" Jenkins asked.
"Oh yes," Megan said, "This is just his way of discouraging unwanted visitors, traveling salesmen, lost peasants, and tourists."
"Does it work?" Bodkins asked.
"Oh, pretty well." Gertrude said, "The drawing is for stupid peasants that don't know how to read. When they see it they usually do a 180 and bugger off back home."
"Who says they're stupid, seems like a pretty smart thing to do to me." Bodkins said.
"What does he do if it doesn't work?" Sir DeLancy said, "I mean, it wouldn't stop a knight or band of braver adventurers, or a really stupid peasant."
"Well, then he usually hides where they can't find him." Megan said.
"What kind of Dragon hides from challengers?!" Sir DeLancy blurted, somewhat appalled.
"A smart one." Megan replied, "But you'll soon understand, we're almost there."
They encountered several more signs with various kinds of other dire and ominous warnings, the last one saying "THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO AVOID A CERTAIN AND HORRIBLE DEATH!" And it had a skull with blood dripping from the eye sockets.
"Lovely." Jenkins muttered.
"Well," Bodkins said, "This is as far as I go. I can smell the Dragon now, that's close enough for me."
"What!" Sir DeLancy said.
"You know our arrangement." Bodkins said, "I'll let you ride me; and take you close to the Dragon, and as far as I'm concerned this is close enough. It's not much farther now anyway. Besides, someone has to stay with the animals."
"That's right; I forgot you were a coward." Jenkins said.
"I'm not a coward, I'm a horse! It's an instinct!" Bodkins retorted, "I've just got more sense then to go sticking my nose into a Dragons lair. And anyway, I'm a lover, not a fighter!"
"He's right," Sir DeLancy said, "He'd be useless inside a cave anyway. And we need someone to watch the animals, keep them from straying or running away, they're nervous enough as it is. They can smell the beast too."
"He's NOT a beast!" Megan said.
"Sorry." Sir DeLancy said; sounding anything but.
"What about Gertrude?" Jenkins asked, standing next to her and stroking her neck. "I mean, sure he knows her; but as a woman, not a donkey. He might be hungry, and eat her before we can let him know what happened."
Gertrude looking up at him adoringly, and thought; but I won't be in any danger; and neither would Bodkins.
"She'll be fine," Megan said, "Sebastian doesn't care much for, um, donkey meat."
"Well, come on then." Sir DeLancy said, "Let's get this over with." As promised he took only his sword, and wore no armor other then a short sleeve hauberk. Jenkins took a spear instead of his bow; it would be of more use in close quarters such as a cave, but kept the tip in a protective sleeve used to keep it from rusting. It could be quickly removed if the need arose however.
"Good luck." Bodkins said, thinking; better you then me. He would wait, he'd given his word, but if he heard screams and roars he might make a strategic retreat to wait from a safer distance, as would any self-respecting horse.
The way to the entrance to the lair was NOT what Sir DeLancy had been expecting at all. He'd expected strewn bones and rotting body parts, trash and debris, and all the plants to be dead or dying; the smell of sulfur and brimstone, smoke wafting through the air, an eerie quiet. Instead there was a nice path outlined with smooth river stones that snaked through flowers and carefully trimmed shrubberies, the air bright and fresh with honey bees dancing from flower to flower, birds chirping and insects buzzing. No trace of any bones, smoke, or anything that would usually betray the presence of a bloodthirsty monsters lair. Frankly he was disappointed. Maybe that was the whole idea though; he thought, to lure an unsuspecting knight into a sense of false security, catch him with his guard down. Devilishly clever!
"I like the path." Jenkins said.
"It is nice, isn't it?" Megan said, "He does it all himself. Wish everyone else had such pride in their property!"
"Sssshhh!" Sir DeLancy said, "I think we're close to the entrance to the beast's lair! He could be lying in wait, we must be very careful from here on in!"
"He's NOT a...! Oh, forget it!" Megan said.
Sir DeLancy eyed the entrance to the lair with mixed feelings. The dark opening certainly looked rather ominous and uninviting, but the two large potted plants flanking it kind of ruined that overall impression somewhat, as did the trellis & ivy, garden gnome, and merrily burbling fountain. Somehow it just didn't seem, well, lair like. Megan saw the way he was looking at her, and said,
"Really, there's a Dragon in there, I promise! Come on, you'll see!"
"Wait!" Sir DeLancy said, "Let me and Jenkins go first, just in case he's lying in ambush! You and Gertrude bring up the rear."
"He won't be...! Oh, go on then!" Megan said resignedly. Knights!
Aha, Sir DeLancy thought, this is more like it! Once they'd entered the lair the dark was almost absolute, and he could see the dim shapes of stalactites, stalagmites, and other rock formations; the faint smell of smoke in the air, the only sounds their footfalls and the dripping of water. Suddenly a deep rumbling voice hissed,
"WHO DARES TO INVADE MY LAIR!! HISSSSS! PREPARE TO DIE!" Then came a great bellowing roar that shook the cavern. RAAAWWRRRR-ROOOAAARRR!"
"Jenkins, to arms!" Sir DeLancy shouted, drawing his sword. I knew it; he thought, an ambush! "HAVE AT THEE, FOUL BEAST!" He bellowed, charging in the direction the roar had come from. Pulling the sleeve from his spear, Jenkins followed, his hooves clattering on the stone floor. He might be a coward, but he was more scared of what might happen to his master then himself.
"Damn it!" Megan yelled. "Sebastian, it's me, Megan! Brian, Jenkins!!"
There wasn't much light, but Sir DeLancy thought he could see a vague shape looming in the darkness in front of him, and with a mighty swing of his sword he attacked.
"Holy SSShit!" Came a sibilant voice from the darkness.
Sparks flew as his sword rebounded from a large stalagmite with a resounding clang, Sir DeLancy's whole body vibrating as he staggered backwards, stunned. Jenkins charged past him, and ran right into an unseen figure and they went down in a tangle of flailing arms, legs, and tails. Loud screeches, brays, and hisses filled the air.
"Milord, HA-AAWW! HELP!" Jenkins yelled, "IT'S GOT ME!! I'M GONNA DIE!"
"LET ME GO, SSSsssss, YOU FILTHY HEATHEN!" Came a hissing lisping voice.
"Hamahamahama!" Sir DeLancy said as he staggered around in a daze, ears ringing.
Gertrude was braying and bucking as she ran in circles, completely freaking out in equine panic. "HAAAWW!! HEE-HAAAWWWW!"
"KNOCK IT OFF, YOU STUPID IDIOTS!! ALL OF YOU!!" Megan screeched, and raising her hand she barked a quick spell, and a ball of white light drifted away from her palm, brightly lighting the chamber in which the conflict was taking place.
Gertrude disappeared out the entrance in a small cloud of dust, still braying as she gave in to her equine instincts.
Bodkins, having heard the altercation, also made tracks followed by the other mounts as he bravely led the retreat.
Sir DeLancy leaned over and braced himself against the tip of his sword as he waited for his equilibrium to return, shaking his head as he was still seeing double, his ears ringing.
Jenkins and the figure struggling on the floor paused, took one look at each other, and Jenkins yelled "AHHH, A Dragon!"
The figure looked at Jenkins, and yelled, "Sssssss, A-A...SSSSOMETHING!"
Breaking apart they scooted backwards from one another on their rumps as fast as they could before staggering to their feet. Then everyone stood there, looking at everyone else, for the most part rather embarrassed by the turn of events.
Megan sighed, and said, "Sir DeLancy, Jenkins, this is Sebastian. Sebastian, this is Sir DeLancy and Jenkins. We'd like to have a talk with you."
Sir DeLancy looked up, and saw a vague shape shifting in and out of focus in front of him. Where there two...?? No, it was just one, whatever it was. "Um, pleased to meet you, I'm sure."
"Er, what he said." Jenkins said, staring at the figure he'd been battling, now revealed in the light of Megan's illumination spell. Like him it was wearing a long robe and he couldn't see much of it, but it was hard to miss the long scaly snout sticking out from under the hood, or the long scaly tail.
"Well, hello," The figure said as it brushed itself off, "As for the 'pleased to meet you' part, I'm not so sure about that bit yet. Megan, what were you thinking?! Bringing armed intruders into my lair!? You caught me by surprise, I was on my way to tidy up the path, and didn't even have a chance to put on my armor! I was lucky I was able to put out the torches so I'd have some advantage in the dark. I mean, really, at least you could have sent me prior notice so I could get ready for company."
"Wait a second!" Sir DeLancy said, his vision finally settling down. "YOU'RE the great and terrible Dragon??"
The figure straightened up, and replied, "Indeed I am, good sir! Sebastian Drako Smyglswrym, esquire, at your service."
"You're, um, not exactly what I was expecting." Sir DeLancy blurted out.
"And what exactly were you expecting?" The Dragon huffed, "I mean, have you ever even MET a Dragon before? And what; pray tell, is THAT?!" He added, indicating Jenkins who was staring with his mouth open, as usual.
"That, is a Jenkins." Sir DeLancy said, "And no offense, I thought you'd be, well, a little bigger."
"A Jenkins, eh?" The Dragon said, "Never heard of one of those, some sort of a human/donkey hybrid, huh? Fascinating. And, well, I must admit I am rather small for my species."
"I'm not a donkey-whatever you said!" Jenkins managed to say, "I'm, er, cursed!"
"Well, that would explain a lot." The Dragon said. "Now, Megan, why did you bring them here? And why didn't you send Pip ahead to warn me?"
"Well, we were hoping you could help us with Jenkins curse, and Sir DeLancy was bound and determined to meet you, one way or another. I figured if I were to introduce you, well, it would prevent any, um, er, misunderstandings. And I'm afraid Pip is gone, she found a mate and they went off to start their own family."
"Well, that didn't exactly work out as planned, did it?" The Dragon said.
"Sorry about that." Megan said.
"I'm sorry about Pip too," The Dragon said, "I know you were fond of her, and I'll miss my little cousin."
"What's this thing?" Jenkins asked; pushing a hoof against a large funnel shaped object rolling around on the ground.
"That, is a bullhorn." The Dragon said, "No idea why they call it that; so far as I've been able to find out it has nothing to do with cattle at all, though I do theorize the first examples may have been made from an actual bulls horn, hence the name."
"Er, right. But what does it do?" Jenkins asked, picking it up and handing it to the robed figure, flinching a little when a four digited hand with rather nasty looking claws reached out to accept it.
"Thank you." the Dragon said, "It's quite ingenious, it allows one to amplify their voice, which can come in handy."
"So that's why you sounded so big," Sir DeLancy said, "I was wondering about that. Nice trick."
"Well, no harm done; other then scaring the Hell out of me." The Dragon said, "And as long as you're here I guess we can have a spot of tea. Come on, you lot."
"Scaring the Hell out of who??" Jenkins muttered. Then he looked around, and said, "Hey, where's Gertrude?!"
"She went that way." Megan said, indicating the entrance to the cave.
"Gertrude!" Jenkins yelled, his hooves clopping on the stone floor of the cave as he ran after her.
The Dragon, who had walked further back into the cave, which was getting dim again as the light of Megan's spell faded, said,
"Well, if you've sorted everything out; are you coming, or not? Haven't got all day you know. I still need to tidy up the path and do a bit of pruning."
Sir DeLancy and Megan followed their 'host' deeper into the cave; and as he walked Sir DeLancy tried to put his sword back in its sheath, but it was bent, so with a muffled curse he finally gave up and just stuck it through his belt.
The Dragon suddenly hissed something, and with 'whooshes' torches flared into life along the walls; momentarily startling Sir DeLancy, but Megan didn't even seem to notice.
"There, that's better." The Dragon said, "I keep forgetting your mammals can't see very well in the dark. Now you won't fall in any holes, but watch your step anyway and stay behind me."
A short time later they heard the sound of hooves, looking up as Jenkins rejoined the party. "No sign of her," Jenkins said, "She must have joined up with Bodkins, Brunhilda, and Suzie."
"There are more of you?" The Dragon hissed, not sounding very thrilled.
"Oh, those are our mounts," Sir DeLancy replied, "two horses and a mule." He didn't add that one could talk.
Fairly soon they came to a fairly large chamber, well lit by torches and a firepit that burned without any smoke, which impressed Jenkins quite a bit. That; he thought, is a neat trick. Sir DeLancy was a little disappointed, having expected huge heaps of gold and other treasure. But except for a rather untidy pile of bedding, a wooden armoire and chest of drawers, and a few mismatched chairs, that was about it. He thought it was a pretty pitiful excuse for a Dragon's hoard, unless the treasure chamber was elsewhere; but he hadn't seen any other tunnels, but there was another entrance to the chamber.
"Welcome to my humble abode." The Dragon said, with a 'please enter' gesture.
"What's an abode?" Jenkins asked.
"I think it's a kind of fancy bedroom." Sir DeLancy said.
"Don't look fancy to me, it's a dump." Jenkins whispered.
"Actually that's a boudoir you're thinking of." The Dragon said. "Abode is another name for ones place of residence."
"Huh? Whats a booder-er, whatever?" Jenkins said.
"A fancy bedroom." The Dragon hissed.
"Ah, like an abode!" Jenkins said.
"Shut up Jenkins." Sir DeLancy said.
"Thank you." Said the Dragon, "That was getting rather annoying."
Jenkins just sulked while Megan tried hard not to giggle. What a good first impression!
So far all they'd seen of the Dragon was a scaly snout and the tip of a rather long tail as it was wearing a fairly volumous robe, similar to the monk's robe Jenkins was wearing, but much better quality. But as the Dragon removed the robe and hung it in the armoire he was revealed in all its glory. It was definitely a Dragon, but not exactly what Sir DeLancy or Jenkins had been expecting.
For one thing it was fairly small; though bigger than the men, but that was mostly because it was longer, and 'sinuous' was the best way to describe it. It could turn the upper part of its body 180 degrees without moving its lower body. The impression was almost more snakelike then lizard. The second thing that hit them was that while it had wings they looked almost gossamer, more like an insects or a fairy Dragons then the usual Dragon bat wings of legend. And while it had scales, rather pretty blue ones, darker on the top and sides and lighter on the belly bands, they looked more like fish scales then the heavy plates they'd expected. And the crest and spines running down the back of its head to the tip of its long sinuous tail looked more like a fishes as well. While definitely a dragon, it was a bit of a disappointment.
"So," the Dragon asked as he sat down in the biggest chair; at least they assumed it was a 'he' even though it had no apparent exterior genitals, "what can I do for you?"
"What kind of Dragon IS this!?" Jenkins blurted out, "It looks more like a giant lizard."
The Dragon snorted, and said, "Sorry to disappoint you; and I'm not deaf you know, but what you see is what you get. And I am NOT a lizard anymore then you're monkeys. Megan, please, do tell me why you invited these two, um, gentlemen; or gentleman and donkey boy, into my abo-, er lair. He IS housebroken, I hope."
"Oh, my apologizes." Sir DeLancy said, "I did not mean to be a boor, I hight Sir Brian DeLancy, knight errant, and donkey boy here is my squire Jenkins. I am most honored to make your acquaintance."
"Oh ha-ha, har-de-har-har!" Jenkins muttered, then mumbled a "Pleased to meet you, I'm sure. And I AM housebroken! Just show me the outhouse if I need to go!"
"Sorry," the Dragon said, "we don't have an inside commode, just the usual exterior plumbing, which is a hole behind fountain."
"Er, what's a commode?" Jenkins asked.
"A fancy name for a toilet." The Dragon replied.
"Er, what's a toilet?" Jenkins asked.
"Jenkins!" Sir DeLancy said.
"I know, I know, shut up." Jenkins grumbled. Stupid fancy words.
"Thank you!" the Dragon said.
"Sebastian," Megan giggled, "We; Gertrude and I, brought them here because they were coming anyway. They have you confused with the other Dragon, and were intent on slaying you. We decided that if we were to, um, introduce you it might avoid, um, any misunderstandings, or other unpleasantness."
"Well, good idea, getting killed would be most unpleasant. And other then our little, er, altercation, it worked fairly well." The Dragon hissed. "But I'm not entirely helpless you know, I've slain my fair share of nosy humans who wouldn't leave me alone, but I do much prefer good conversation to battle. It's more civilized and less strenuous."
"Um, no offense intended," Sir DeLancy said, "But exactly what kind of Dragon ARE you?"
"I? I am a rare Norwegian Blue!" The Dragon hissed, lifting his head up and spreading his wings and finlike ears. Seeing the blank looks on his guests faces; the two males at least, he stopped preening, and asked,
"You HAVE heard of my species, I hope."
"Sorry, afraid not." Sir DeLancy replied."
"Nope." Jenkins said.
"But we're famous, the terror of the seas!" The Dragon insisted, "Seafarers dread our wrath!"
"Sorry, I left my manual on 'How to identify Dragons back at the castle." Sir DeLancy said, "Fact is, you're the first Dragon we've ever met."
"Well, we ARE rare." The Dragon sniffed; then muttered "Philistines" under his breath.
"Here, "Jenkins said, "if you're Norwegian, how did you end up in England?"
"Ah, a good and fair question!" The Dragon said, "You're not as stupid as you look. I was kidnapped by the terrible and renowned Viking, Ulf the Unsavory! The scourge of the fjords!"
"Who?" Sir DeLancy and Jenkins both asked at the same time.
The Dragon let his shoulders slump a little, and said, "Surely you jest, you've never heard of Ulf the Unsavory!?"
"Nope, sorry, afraid not." Jenkins and Sir DeLancy said, looking at one another and shrugging.
Maybe you know him by one of his other names," the Dragon said, "such as Ulf the Uncouth?"
"Nope, sorry." Sir DeLancy said; Jenkins just shook his head.
"Ulf the Uncivilized, Ulf the Flatulent, Ulf the Awful??" The Dragon asked.
"Wait a second," Jenkins said, "Is he that git that burned down the village of Camberton awhile back, and stole all their goats?"
"No, that was Erik the Awful." Sir DeLancy said.
"Oh yeah, right." Jenkins said.
"Ulf the Undisciplined, Ulf the Ugly, Ulf the Uneducated, Ulf the Underachiever ...??" The Dragon hissed.
"Oh, oh, wait!!" Sir DeLancy said, "Do you mean Ulf the Idiot, the guy that drilled a hole in the bottom of the King of Norway's flagship to let the water out, and then tried to blame it on rats?"
"FINALLY!" The Dragon hissed, "Yes, that's him! But the exact translation from the original Norwegian is 'Ulf the Not Too Terribly Bright."
"Whatever happened to him, anyway?" Sir DeLancy asked.
"I think the King of Norway used him for an anchor after that," the Dragon said, "but eventually he opened up a bar and grill in Gergen and finally found his true calling as a short order cook; best fish & chips in Norway. And let's face it; he sucked at being a Viking."
"Sooo," Sir DeLancy asked, "How exactly did you end up being kidnapped by such an, er, idiot?"
"It was after a great sea battle in which I sank several ships before I was finally overwhelmed by sheer numbers!" The Dragon said, rearing up and flailing his clawed hands theatrically, and snarling viciously as his tail whipped back and forth.
"Wow." Jenkins said, suitably impressed.
Note: The actual truth was that Sebastian had been sunbathing on a thick mat of floating seaweed; sound asleep, when Ulf's ship came along and threw a net over him.
"What happened after that?" Sir DeLancy asked.
"Well," the Dragon replied, "Ulf was near sighted, and thought I was an ugly mermaid. After he tried to make love to me a few times; and finally figured out I wasn't really a mermaid, and was male to boot, he sold me to some twerp named Merlin for five silver pieces. Ulf thought I was just some kind of weird fish that could talk."
"Wait a minute," Sir DeLancy, "THE Merlin, as in Camelot?"
"Yep, that's him." The Dragon said, "You don't think he really did all that magic on his own, do you? I mean, please! He was a poser, but a good actor. We really had them going until Morgana showed up and ruined everything; now she was the real deal, and after she turned Merlin into a newt I had to get the Hell out of Camelot before Lancelot caught up with me. That guy was a terror with a sword."
"Good Heavens!" Sir DeLancy said.
"But that was a over a hundred years ago!" Jenkins said.
"Just how old ARE you?" Sir DeLancey asked.
"That's one question you never ask a Dragon; or a woman," Sebastian sniffed, "Let's just say I'm in my prime, and I'll live longer then you."
"Why didn't you ever go back to Norway?" Jenkins asked.
"Mind your own business!" The Dragon snapped, "Besides, I like it here!" Then he got a far away look in his eyes, and sighed, "I do pine for the fjords sometimes though."
"Well, ex-cu-u-u-use me." Jenkins muttered.
"Jenkins," Sir DeLancy said, "If you can't be polite, then shut up."
They all paused as they heard the sound of hooves slowly approaching, and a short time later Gertrude stuck her head around the corner, looking around curiously.
"Gertrude!" Jenkins, said; he'd forgotten all about her, he'd given up looking for her when it became apparent she'd really taken off.
"You have GOT to be kidding?" The Dragon said as the gray donkey timidly entered the chamber.
"Nope." Megan said, "This is our friend Gertrude, afraid she had a, um, accident with one of those potions you taught her how to make."
"Wasn't no accident," Jenkins said, "She tried to turn me into a donkey, but got most of the potion on herself instead."
"Oh, oh, this is just priceless!" The Dragon said, hissing loudly in apparent amusement, "I told you that was going to happen sooner or later if you kept playing with that stuff! HISS, HISS, HISSSS!"
"It's NOT funny!" Jenkins said, stamping a hoof.
"HISS, HISS, HISSSS!" The Dragon kept shrieking, finally falling; or rather slithering, off his chair, "OH, OH, HISSSSS!"
Gertrude brayed forlornly, and Jenkins snapped, "She doesn't want to be a donkey, you know!"
"But she makes such a cute one!" The Dragon said, breaking up into another hiss fit of laughter.
"Haa-aw-aw-awwww!" Gertrude wailed, Jenkins hugging her neck and trying to console her.
"Sebastian! That's horrible!" Megan said, "Shame on you! And poor Jenkins is stuck half human and half donkey!"
"I-I know, HISS-HISS-HISS, I'm sorry, really!" The Dragon said, "But it IS funny!"
"Damn it, Sebastian!" Megan said, "This is serious! How'd you like to be stuck as an animal, and Gertrude IS your friend!"
"He IS an animal." Jenkins said.
The Dragon gave a final amused hiss, and said, "That's a matter of opinion, donkey boy, to ME you're the animals. So, now that the history lesson is over, what was the problem again? I'm afraid I lost track of my thoughts."
Megan sighed, and said, "Gertrude turned herself into a donkey, and poor Jenkins here was affected too, but not changed all the way."
"Uh-huh, Ssssss..." The Dragon mused. "And she did this with a regular potion, not just a spell casting?"
Gertrude snorted, nodding her head.
"Well, that's good." The Dragon said, "It's easier to reverse a potion induced transformation then a pure spell casting. That is of course, unless you've had sex, then it's permanent."
"Haa-AAAWWW!" Gertrude squealed and brayed, and Jenkins said, "Oh, bugger all and bloody Hell!"
Megan was eyeing the Dragon closely, and under her gaze his lips tightened, then he burst into hisses of laughter again, his long forked tongue flicking over needle sharp fangs as he hissed in amusement.
"Sebastian!" Megan said in a low ominous voice. Then she added, "Jenkins, do you still have your spear? I'm going to stick it up a certain part of a certain Dragon's anatomy in about one minute!"
"OH, OH, I'm sorry!! I just couldn't resist!" The Dragon chortled, "I was kidding! Sex has no affect on the potions effects!! What's the matter, don't you have a sense of humor??"
"That," Megan said, "Was NOT funny! You scared them both half to death!"
Actually I thought it was rather good." Sir DeLancy said.
"Brian, shut up." Megan said.
"No it don't, I mean yes it does!" Jenkins said.
"And just what does that mean?" The Dragon asked.
"Sex does have an effect on the potion!" Jenkins said, "Every time Gertrude and I, er, do it, I change more into a donkey, and so does she! She could still talk before we did it last time."
"Really?" The Dragon mused, "How interesssting!"
"It's probably because the potion they took was from the same batch," Megan said, "Any time Jenkins and Gertrude, um, exchange bodily fluids it activates the magic again, and the change continues."
"Ewwww!" Sir DeLancy and the Dragon said at the same time.
"Well, that would certainly explain it." Sebastian said thoughtfully, "Still, it is an interesting side effect. I'll have to make a note of it in my Grimoire; under the possible side effects of the dual use of the same potion by two people of the opposite sex, who afterwards indulge in carnal activities. Hmm, yessss. I'll have to find two, um, volunteers to try it out on."
"Look," Megan said, "This is all very interesting and everything, but can you help them?? Gertrude says she can't reverse the spell herself since she doesn't have hands anymore, and now she can't even talk!"
"Well," Sebastian said as soon as he'd regained his reptilian composure, "The good news is the spell can be reversed, the bad news is, I can't do it."
"Good!" Megan said, then, "What a second, what do you mean you can't? You're a better magician and potion maker then Gertrude and I put together!"
"True." The Dragon hissed smugly.
"Maybe he WON'T do it." Sir DeLaney said, "After all he IS a Dragon."
"That accusation, sir, is without merit!" The Dragon hissed angrily, opening his mouth and baring his fangs. "Why do you always attribute nothing but nefarious intentions to my kind? Of course I would help them if I could! They're my friends! I've never been so insulted in my life! SSSSSS!! But the fact of the matter is; I don't have all the ingredients I need for the antidote!"
"Brian!" Megan growled ominously, "You apologize, right now! We are his guests, and he has been quite civil despite your less then civilized actions!"
"Well, I admit I was a bit hasty with my accusation," Sir DeLancy said, "and I hope you'll accept my apology. But I mean, though; and you must admit, that Dragons don't exactly have the greatest reputations amongst the other races."
"That; unfortunately, is true." The Dragon replied. "Most of my brothers and sisters do tend to be a bit on the greedy side, not that that is entirely a Draconic trait."
"Also true, unfortunately." Sir DeLancy readily admitted.
"Well, where can we get the ingredients?" Megan demanded.
"Well," The Dragon said, "All but one of the ingredients are quite common and easy to acquire, it's the one that's not that's the problem."
"And why is that?" Megan asked, "Is it out of season? Can it only be gathered during a full moon? Do we have to get it from another magical creature, or; heaven forbid, a demon?"
"A demon!" Jenkins yelped.
"Oh yes," The Dragon said, "Demon cum is a very important ingredient used in darker spell casting and potion making."
"That's disgusting!" Sir DeLancy said, Jenkins head bobbing in agreement.
"Which is why I don't perform, or use, those kind of spells." The Dragon said, "Sucking off a demon is NOT one of my interests."
"Ewwwww!" Everyone but the Dragon said at the same time. Gertrude, on the other hand, remained quiet. Don't knock it till you've tried it, she thought; but once, though interesting, was enough.
"Well then, enough about...demons," Megan said, "Where do we find; or how do we acquire, this final ingredient?"
"Well," The Dragon said, "either in the land of the Chin, or about ten miles from here."
"I vote for the closer place." Jenkins said.
"Sounds reasonable." Sir DeLancy agreed.
"Oh dear." Megan said softly.
"Exactly," The Dragon said, "She has the gist of it, the only supply of the herb I need; in England that is, is in my old lair. The one from which I was so rudely evicted several years ago by a certain butthead."
"Oh dear." Sir DeLancy said, Gertrude echoing the sentiment with a mournful bray.
"You don't mean the lair with the other really big mean ugly Dragon?" Jenkins asked, hopefully adding, "Do you?"
"Sorry, afraid so." The Dragon hissed.
"Oh, ick! Haaaw!" Jenkins brayed morosely.
The End
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