Self Discovery
The last little bit at the end was added as an afterthought, really... but just the smallest thing can make all the difference. Without further ado I present:
SELF DISCOVERY
It was mid-summer, but unusually cold. As a snow-wolf who had only recently moved to the area, Dask always preferred it when it was cold. He was sitting in the park enjoying the refreshing breeze, eyes closed and head up into the wind, when he felt a tap on his shoulder. Opening his eyes he found a black cat standing beside him.
'Mind if I join you?' she smiled.
'Not at all... but I'm not really doing much.' He looked now to the view before him. In the distance he could see a cluster of hills and he made a mental note to walk them someday soon.
'Sometimes you can have the most fun just sitting and listening to the wind.'
'You listen to the wind?' he snickered, grinning.
She sat down, shoving his shoulder playfully. 'Oh, and I suppose just sitting to enjoy the cold is a better reason to be out?'
'Point taken.'
They sat together in silence for a few minutes. He enjoying the cold and she the wind.
'My name's Saria, by the way... but you should have already asked me that.'
'Sorry, I'm not... exactly... used to this sort of thing. I'm Dask.'
'Don't worry... I'm not exactly in the habit of hitting on complete strangers. Not even the beautiful ones.' She smiled warmly and shifted closer.
A few more minutes passed and his eyes were once again closed. He was losing himself to his surroundings once more when he felt an arm closing around his shoulders. Next he knew Saria was snuggling into him. Nervously, he wrapped an arm around her waist and drew close to her.
To a casual observer the scene would have been beautiful. Two mates embracing in the chill... and it was true that Saria was enjoying the situation as such... but Dask was confused within himself. Here was this beautiful creature nestling into his fur and he felt nothing. He had placed his arm around her, not for any romantic reason, but because it seemed like the right thing to do. In reality he felt no romantic feelings whatsoever.
'I have to go now. Here,' she handed him a piece of paper, 'it's my number.' He had been so lost in his train of thought that he hadn't even noticed her writing it down. He put the paper into a pocket and frantically patted around his waist, searching. Saria handed him a pen and a small scrap of paper.
'Here.' She chuckled as he felt the burning heat of blushing in his eartips.
He wrote down his own number and handed both pen and paper back to her and with no more than a smile she was gone. He sat for several hours more trying to fathom his total lack of feelings for this girl.
When he got home the first thing he did, as with every other day was reach for the phone.
'Hey dad, it's me.'
'Hello Dask, how's life in the big city?'
'Not too bad. I'll tell you now though that student life is NOT like everyone makes it out to be.'
'You ok, son? You sound different.' Dask and his father lived for one another, Dask's mother having died just over a year ago, so it wasn't surprising when he noticed the slightest change in his son.
'I met this girl today...'
'That's great! So we'll soon be hearing the patter of tiny paws?'
Dask was caught out by his father's sudden enthusiasm, 'I think you might be getting a little ahead of yourself... it might not work out.'
'Nonsense, you're young and charismatic, there's no reason for it not to.'
There was a long pause, 'You're right, of course,' he hated lying to his father, 'just me being paranoid.'
The rest of the phone call consisted of the usual intricacies and events of the day, but not once did Dask mention his lack of romantic feeling for the girl his father was now convinced would be the mother of his grandchildren.
After hanging up the phone Dask reached into his pocket and drew the piece of paper out of it. Turning it over in his paw he reached for the phone again.
'Maybe I'll develop feelings for her... if I just give it a chance.' He picked up the handset and immediately replaced it in the cradle. 'I'll give it a chance tomorrow.' He stood and padded through to his bedroom. That night his dreams were more troubling than usual.
Seated on an unfamiliar sofa in a room he did not recognise, Saria rested with her head in his lap. Looking up from her resting place she reached a paw up and caressed his cheek.
'You've made me so happy, Dask. Before I met you I doubted I would ever be a mother.'
He looked over towards the fireplace and saw two small figures there. 'Identical twins,' he thought, 'I've always wanted...' the children were mixed genus, with black, feline ears, paws and tails, but their bodies and muzzles were white and lupine.
He looked back down into Saria's green eyes.
'It's all perfect.' He smiled, but it was a sad smile.
'It can be ours if you say you love me. You know I love you.'
'I... I don't...' he said and turned away. Before his very eyes his beloved children faded into nothing. He looked down into his lap and Saria was gone. Finally, the room faded into nothing and he was left in a black void.
His eyes shot open and he looked around, relieved to find he was still in his bedroom. He was still alone but the void was nowhere to be found... which was a start, at least.
Throwing his jeans on he went through the living room, spotting the scrap of paper sat next to the phone. The dream still played on his mind enough that he went straight over to the phone and dialled without hesitation.
'Hello?'
'Saria? It's Dask.'
'Well you don't waste any time, do you? You're either very lonely or a very fast mover.'
'Which makes me sound less pathetic?' he said, smiling.
'Hmm... at the moment I'd probably say the first one.'
'I'll go with that one until I can find a better excuse then.' There was a small pause as they both chuckled. 'Hey, I've got to go to university in a moment but if you want to come over afterwards?'
'Sure, where do you live?'
He gave her the location of his home.
'Not far from me then. I'll be there around eight-ish?'
'Great, I'll see you then.'
Hanging up the phone he began to speak to himself, 'Ok... so you just made a DATE with a girl you have no feelings for because of a weird dream. No... it's just because you don't know her yet. You'll grow to love her... won't you? Gah! This is crazy!' he looked at his clock and dropped the chain of thought instantly as he grabbed his shirt and sprinted out of the door. He was due at university in five minutes and it was a ten minute run.
The college day was just a blur, lost in his thoughts, unable to learn whatever it was the lecturers were jabbering on about this time. He didn't know whether to feel relieved or worried when everyone was finally dismissed. He decided to go to his local pub on the way home to steady his nerves with a pint or two.
Going through the door the place was almost empty. There was a young couple sat in a corner and two people on their own sat at the bar. He ordered a Lionbrau and took it to his usual table. He had only been seated for a few minutes when a shadow fell over him. Looking up he came face to face with a husky who had, until now, been seated at the bar.
'Mind if I join you?' he said in a soft voice.
Dask gestured towards the seat but didn't say anything.
'You look like you got the worries of the world on your shoulders. I've been told I'm a good listener if you want to share. My name's Damascus.'
'Dask... and my problems are kinda personal.'
'Don't wanna share with a stranger? Ok... I'll get myself better aquainted; I'm twenty-six, I've lived in these parts all my life, go to the same place on holiday every year, get very quiet when I'm nervous and make steel sculptures for a living. There, feel like sharing now?'
Dask couldn't help smiling a little, 'Ok, ok. It's about this girl,' he failed to see the change in Damascus' expression, 'She was instantly warm to me and I gave the same back but it was just because that's what I thought to be expected. She's coming over tonight... be here in a couple of hours.'
'Uh-huh... let me guess, you had a very straight-and-narrow upbringing, right?'
'My parent's kept me on a very tight tether... but just because they wanted me growing up right.'
'So you've never thought about "alternatives"?'
'What do you mean... "alternatives"?'
'Ah, how shall I put this? You have a lot of male friends, yeah?'
'I fair few, yes... where are you going with this?' his eyebrow raised suspiciously.
'Have you ever felt anything more than friendship towards any of them?'
'You think I'm gay!?' suddenly both eyebrows were raised.
'No offence, hun, but why do you think I came over?'
'I'm not gay.'
'Ok, my mistake, I'm sorry about that... but I really am a good listener.' He brought a card out of his pocket and handed it over. 'If you need to speak then I'm just on the end of that line. Again I'm sorry about this misunderstanding. You mind if I give you some advice about this girlfriend then?'
'Don't sweat it, shoot.' Dask went back to his beer.
'Ok, get yourself home, pick up a nice red wine on the way and set the lights low when you get back. Don't cook her a meal yet, that should always wait until after you've been out for a meal before you cook them one. Maybe with the right situations and mood you'll realise you really do like this girl... and if you need any more advice you've got my number.' He smiled warmly again. 'Now finish that drink and go get that girl!'
'Thanks, I appreciate the help.' He downed what was left of his pint and left, leaving Damascus doubting his gaydar.
Dask followed his new friends advice and dragged a fairly vintage red from the back of the cupboard where it had been waiting for just such an occasion. He then dimmed the lights and waited.
Not long passed before there was a knock at the door. Dask's heart leapt into his muzzle and he could barely hear anything over its beating as, shaking, he opened the door. Saria was stood there wearing a black dress down to her ankles. Dask felt a little underdressed in just jeans and shirt but Saria didn't seem to mind.
'Er... come in, come in.' He stood to one side and allowed her to pass before shutting the door. Nothing, he thought to himself before ushering her into the living room where he had set out two glasses and the wine. She sat on the sofa and he filled the glasses, handing one of them to her.
He sat there sipping the wine as she recounted stories of her life, her past, her family... and every single one of them passed straight in one ear and out the other, his mind addled with other thoughts. After a while he was brought back to the situation by her stroking his arm.
'Are you ok? You're looking a little distant.'
'Er...'
'I know what'll make you feel better.' She came in close and touched her nose to his. Tilting her head to one side she pressed her lips to his and parted them. His followed suit and soon their tongues were probing each other. Without warning, he pulled away, leaving her looking confused.
'This... is a mistake.' He said. 'I'm...'
She looked fine with this but it was clearly only a mask, 'That's... ok... I should go.' And without another word she was out of the door. He sat in silence for a few minutes before he remembered the card in his pocket. Drawing it out he dialled the number on it.
'Hyello.' Came the cheerful, soft voice on the other end.
'I think I might be ready to talk.'
'Dask? Well... this doesn't sound like an over-the-phone problem. Where do you live?'
Dask gave Damascus the same location he had recently given Saria.
'I'll be right there with the chocolate ice-cream.' he chuckled slightly.
Less than half-an-hour later there was another knock at the door. He was confused as his heart jumped once again. What now, he thought, I'm not attracted to... before he could finish the thought he got up and answered the door. He thought Damascus had been joking about the ice-cream but there he was with a large tub under his arm.
'Come on in.' Dask chuckled. 'I'll get some spoons. Living room's through there.' He pointed to a door as he made his way to the kitchen. 'If you want some wine then help yourself... shame to let it waste now.'
Damascus went into the living room and drained Saria's glass before pouring himself another one and peeling the lid off the ice-cream tub. Dask came back through carrying two spoons and handed one to Damascus. They spoke for a while about various inanities, digging at the chocolate dessert and sipping the wine, before Damascus brought up the inevitable subject.
'So what happened?'
'I did what you said, dimmed lights,' he realised that he hadn't brought them back up yet, 'good wine... no cooking,' Damascus stifled a snicker. 'pleasant conversation... er, I assume... and then she kissed me.'
'And?'
'Nothing. I felt nothing... and what's more is that I knew I never would.'
'Have you thought about what I said? About...?'
Dask shook his head, 'I don't know... part of me would prefer to feel nothing for anyone... but is that just my upbringing?'
'There is one way to find out.'
Dask just looked quizzically back at him. Damascus proceeded to place his glass down on the table.
'Close your eyes,' Said the husky, moving closer, 'and see if you feel anything now.'
Dask did as he was told and closed his eyes. He was about to break the silence when once again he felt lips pressing against his own. His eyes flickered but did not open as both muzzles opened simultaneously and Damascus' tongue began to ease its way inside. Dask's heart was beating faster and faster and he pressed his own tongue into Damascus' muzzle. After what seemed like an eternity the two parted, Dask simply sat there, dumbstruck.
'Did you feel anything.'
'I've never felt anything... like this before.' He barely heard himself saying it over the sound of his own heartbeat. He moved in closer and initiated another kiss himself. Midway through, without separating, Damascus began leaning in and Dask began to fall slowly backwards with him until they were lying on the sofa. Dask placed an arm around Damascus' waist and drew him close, pressing his body into the other's, savouring the waves of pleasure running through him. He began to feel something else now, a stiffening hindered by the waistline of his jeans. Damascus felt this pressing against him and soon his own member had begun to swell out of its sheath. Dask felt a tear beginning to form in his eye. He wasn't sure whether it was of sadness, joy, sorrow, pleasure or what but at this point he didn't care. He was just falling into the feeling of this strong male kissing him. He gasped, inadvertently breaking the kiss, when he felt a paw rubbing his penis through the material of his jeans.
'Do you want to?' he heard Damascus whispering in his ear.
'Yes, I really do.' He gasped.
Damascus reached down and undid Dask's jeans, tugging them down slightly. The sudden release caused a small jet of warm pre to shoot onto his bellyfur. Soon the garment was off and Damascus removed his own. Dask looked him up and down and fel his heart miss a beat when he saw the member standing proud from the husky's sheath, trickling clear fluid. His breathing deepened as the husky lay back over him, their meat rubbing freely together now. They kissed again and Damascus moved his throbbing penis lower, teasing it over Dask's balls and up towards towards his tailhole. Dask lifted his knees slightly to aid access and Damascus touched the tip to the opening and Dask gasped once again.
'Aahhmmnnnn.' He moaned and bit his lip as the tip eased in, lubricated by the pre leaking from Damascus.
'Are you ok?' He asked, not wanting to hurt Dask on his first time.
'Y... yes... please... go on...' the sentence broken by his heavy breathing.
Damascus pressed further in, eliciting further moans from the wolf. Dask was feeling wave after wave of pleasure flowing through him, only increasing as the rod inside him stopped and began to withdraw. He lifted his head as it began to enter once again moaned louder when, once again, it began to withdraw, becoming a slow, rhythmic pumping. When they had begun Dask was worried that it would be rough and painful but, apart from a slight discomfort at first entry, it was gentle and tender. Damascus began to give low moans of his own and Dask began to feel something new, a new swelling of flesh pressing against his hole periodically. At this he felt his own knot beginning to swell and the pleasure multiplied as he felt his orgasm nearing. He had experienced several orgasms before, all self induced and none feeling a fraction as good as he did now.
'Are you going to...' he said between gasps.
'No, you're not ready yet.' Panted Damascus, knowing that Dask was about to ask if he was going to tie.
Dask reached down and started rubbing at his red member, caressing from the tip down, squeezing over his swollen knot and back up. It wasn't long before he could hold back no longer and he howled as his seed shot from the tip up and over his fur, small spots even reaching Damascus' chin. Most of the white fluid landed over the belly and chest fur of both of them. Damascus didn't take much longer before he reached his own orgasm and he filled the wolf with his own juice, resisting the urge to tie, shooting the warmth deep inside him.
They collapsed into each other's embrace in the warm afterglow of the physical act, both breathing heavily.
'I...' began Dask.
'No, don't say it yet... you shouldn't say that to your first... at least until you're sure it's how you feel.'
Dask knew what Damascus was saying, knowing that he was in love more with the feeling of freedom and self discovery.
They lay together for a long time, sharing many more kisses, until Dask broke the pleasant silence.
'I don't know WHAT I'm going to tell my dad.'
'It'll be easier with someone to support you... just in case.'
'When should I do it?'
Damascus looked at his watch. It was just after ten o'clock. 'Will he be up now?'
'Now!?'
Damascus smiled and planted another kiss on Dask's nose, 'No time like the present.'
Dask hesitated until he looked into Damascus' eyes and knew he was right, that if he left it he may never do it. He didn't bother getting dressed, there was no point if he was just making a phone call. He steadied his breathing and dialled the phone.
'Hi, dad.' He said when the phone stopped ringing and his father picked up. 'Sorry the call's later than usual today.'
'That's ok, Dask, how's it going with that girl?'
Dask swallowed, trying to breath through what felt like a tennis ball, 'That's actually why I'm calling... it didn't work out.'
'Don't worry, you'll find someone eventually.'
'That just the thing,' his lips moved without a sound for just a second, 'I already have.'
'That was quick... do I get to hear about her?'
'Ahh... it's...' hell with it, he thought, now or never, 'It's not a her... it's a him... Dad, I'm gay.'
There was only a brief pause on the other end before there was a sigh followed by his father's voice, 'I know.'
'You... knew?'
'Well, more of a suspicion really. You had certain... qualities... when you were a pup. I suppose I've already had time to come to terms with it should it turn out to be true. Is he there now?'
'Uhm, yes.'
'Can I speak to him?'
Dask covered the mouthpiece and held the phone out to Damascus, 'He wants to speak to you.'
'This'll be the "hurt him and I'll kill you speech"... pass it here.' He took hold of the phone and braced himself for the tirade.
'Hello, sir.' He said with only a hint of nervousness.
'Hello there, and you are?'
'My name's Damascus Mr...'
'Call me Hirem, Damascus. So you're the one who's taking my Dask...'
'I probably wouldn't put it like that s... Hirem.'
'He's a very special guy. Please make him happy.'
'You're absolutely right... and I fully intend to.' He looked at Dask and smiled.
'Can you hand me back now?'
'Certainly, goodbye Hirem.' He handed the handset back to Dask.
'Hey, dad.'
'You know you didn't have to worry about telling me... even if I hadn't suspected it, you are my son and I love you no matter what.'
'Love you too, dad.'
'I suppose you two want some time alone now so I'll let you go.'
'Bye, dad.'
'G'bye.' And with that the phone went dead.
Dask hung the handset back on the cradle and snuggled close into his mate, his eyes closed. Damascus leaned down and started licking the fluid from Dask's fur.
'I'm glad it's Saturday tomorrow.' Dask said.
'Why?'
'Because I want to do that again.'
'Why wait?' Dask looked up and saw the twinkle in Damascus' eye.
He led the husky through to his bedroom, where they mated once again, this time fast and passionately.
Four weeks had passed since they first met and the two were in an embrace in Dask's bed once again, Damascus tied within his mate.
'I...' Dask began again.
'Yes?' Damascus didn't stop him this time.
'I love you, Damascus.'
'I love you too.'
'... You never did tell me what my dad said to you.'
'Are you happy... with me.'
'Of course.' Dask had the quizzical look on again.
'Then I've kept my promise to him.'