48 Scratches by tekuryuu

48 Scratches

tekuryuu, Bondage, Cock And Balls Torture, Death, Fox, Gay, M/M, Mutilation, NC, Oral, Rottweiler, Suicide

48 Scratches

Originally written 1999

Modified 2/25/03

First public release to the internet: 2/26/03

This story was originally written for a friend who wanted to kill off one of his characters. Since we were such good friends, and I used to be able to write incredible stories, he asked if I would do this task. At the time, I considered it an honor... Originally written in 1999, it has never been released to the internet until now, 2/25/03. Slight grammatical and spelling corrections have been made from the original version.

Doug, if you ever see this, just know that there is not a single day that goes by that I don't think about you. I miss you more than anything else, and I wish we could be together again. I'm sorry for the mistake I made. I can't believe that after all we said to each other, that it's over just like that. Or was it all just text on the screen? Please find me.

Author's note 2/25/03: It seems appropriate today, that I add the last paragraph to the document. Looking back today, I think about the depth of the loss of this friendship, and I can?t help but wonder what gave me the ability to write this in the first place. Fate works in strange ways. Sometimes you cannot see why something is occurring, WHEN it is occurring? Perhaps now, 2 ? years later, I see why. It seems appropriate that I should write a story where I hurt him, tho I didn?t hurt him for almost a year after this was written. But it also seems appropriate that I feel the pain of that hurt. And so, I add the last paragraph in a feeble attempt to communicate the pain I feel every day from this loss.

This story contains quite a bit of graphic detail, including snuff, mutilation, and suicide. But it also includes a deep sense of love and sympathy. Standard disclaimers about reading at your own risk apply. 18+ etc... Comments are welcome, flames and hate mail will be evaluated for humorous content and discarded. Write me at [email protected]

The original title of the story was "KARISHAD'S DEATH"

I have changed it to a new title since it now seems more about me than him.

"48 SCRATCHES"

He was alone... or at least he thought he was alone. But I had been assigned to follow him... and... kill him. It was my job, sometimes I didn't like it, but the pay was good and I try not to get too involved with my targets, Usually. I knew in my head that if I ever failed in my job, that I would become the hunted. So I made sure that I did my job and I did it right.

I had been following him for a couple days now, watching... waiting. Now was the time. He had decided that this weekend he would take a retreat to the short falls of Northbrook Woods. A very nice area, secluded by a 12 mile hike in, with NOTHING but woods and a beautiful river that ran thru them. The short falls were a series of 20 foot tall cliffs in the heart of the forest. The river ran thru them, and over a couple, creating a few deep caves which you could set up camp in. The falls created a natural curtain, allowing just enough light in, but not too much. The noise deep in the cave wasn't too loud, and made for wonderful sleeping. yes, I had been here before. I had explored every inch of these caves. There were 8 in all, 2 of which had no other entrances besides the main one under the water.

I watched him carefully. He hiked the trail, I hiked in the woods on the other side of the river... Very careful not to allow him to see or hear me. He had a radio playing, so I didn't have to worry AS MUCH, but I was still cautious. When he stopped, I continued on to get ahead of him. I made it to the area about 45 minutes before he did, and found a nice quiet perch to sit and wait. I was fairly hidden but I had a clear view of the trail in. Night had fallen, and it was getting cool now, I pulled out a lightweight windbreaker and put it on. my fur was naturally warm for me, but it was short, so it didn't block wind as well as his did. I could repel water for hours tho, which comes in VERY handy in this business. The sun was just setting when he came into view. He had removed his shirt, I could see his muscles ripple as he hiked with the heavy pack on his back.

He wasted no time in choosing his hide-away, and I was a bit miffed that he chose one with only one entrance. he had gone straight for it. So either he had been here before, or he got lucky. it was a bit of a climb to get up to that ledge, but he he made short work of it, and when he got to the top, he pulled his pack up with a repelling rope he had and went around behind the falls. I picked out a place for myself, and set up in the company of the rumble and light spray. It was a peaceful night. I sat out under the stars for a while, watching the faint glow from behind the water curtain he had chosen... thinking of what he might be doing... It was obvious he had built a fire, the smell of fish was strong. Although I had not seen him catching any.... I guessed maybe he had waded thru the river earlier on one of his stops. It was getting late, and I had to be up early in the morning, so I turned in.

The sun had come up before I did. "Yike!" I exclaimed as I jumped out of bed and

threw on some light clothes... I had to be careful... Normally I would expect a fur that thought he was secluded to go about naked... and I half expected him to, but I was careful, so I wore a pair of loose swimming shorts. I decided that I was going to play the part of a fur out for a little vacation, and would say I had been here for a few days already to see what he would say.

I walked out from behind the ledge, and dove off the cliff into the cool perfectly clear water below, making a small splash. As I surfaced, and made my way lazily to the shore, I heard him jump and I pretended to be shocked and swung around and jumped up so I was sitting on a rock near the water's edge. When he surfaced, I was looking right at him. It took him a minute to clear his eyes and turn around, surveying his surroundings as he floated quietly. When he saw me, he jumped a bit, and we just stared at each other for a while.

"Um, Hello!" I called out to him. "I didn't know anyone else knew this place."

It took him a minute to respond, but he waded over to the edge, and climbed out of the water. I slid off the rock, and we met and shook paws and conversed a little. I learned his name was "Karishad" and that he frequented this place now and then when he needed a little vacation. I just agreed with him, and we made small talk.

Over the course of the day, we chatted more, about our lives. Neither of us had families, he lived in a small place by himself and I have a roommate... My dog. He smiled and we went about our business... By the end of the day we had had 2 meals together, he was an EXCELLENT fisher, and I could cook up a storm. We had swam together and hiked around a bit, lounged, listened to music, chatted some more and a few other relaxing activities. Night was falling, and we were lying on a big rock at the top of the cliffs. He decided to climb down, so I followed him, and as we were about to go our separate ways, I popped the question.

"Would you like to come and have dinner with me?" to which I immediately felt stupid for asking, the way I asked, and the knowledge that I held of my job. It must have showed to him, because he looked at me and said "Don't worry, you look embarrassed. I'd love to! I was actually wondering what I was going to do for dinner myself. Fish 4 meals in a row is a bit much." And so it was decided, and off to my place we went. I had chosen a cliff lower than his, so there wasn't much climbing to it. Little did he know I had also brought 2 sleeping bags. We clambered up into the cave and I lit 2 propane lanterns, and started up the fire. He found a nice place to sit, and we chatted a bit more about life and animals and the woods and how peaceful this place was. He helped with the cooking once he figured out what I was doing, and we enjoyed a nice hot meal, before walking all our dishes out to the waterfall for cleaning. No soap required.

Once dinner was done, we had some coffee and sat and listened to the water rumbling and the fire crackling. The radio didn't work in the caves tho. Unless you could find a good place to put it near the mouth that wasn't too wet. But ya had to turn it up a bit loud, so we decided not to have it. It was getting late, and he was about to get up to go, when I decided that I was going to make my move.

One of the topics we had idly passed by today was yiff. I mean, put two single males in their mid-twenties together and what would you expect to happen? :) So anyway, in our idle passings of this topic, I learned that he had had a female mate once before, but didn't really like her, so he was single now, and had a few gay friends, whom he talked to one of them at length a few times. A very close friend he was, and the two of them had experimented a little. He blushed when he said this, and that was about all I got out of him.

So I decided that I was going to ask... but not in a verbal way. Earlier when we got our coffee and sat down, I sat right next to him, again testing his responses. He seemed fine with it, so during our conversations, we got a little more personal again... He mentioned he was lonely, needed some companionship in his life again. My heart was heavy, but in a way, I guess I would be doing him a service. It didn't make this any easier, but I told myself I had to not get involved.. He was my target, not my lover.

We had risen and placed our mugs on the floor near the fire, and he turned to leave. I called his name, and as he turned, I moved up to him, and offered a paw to shake. He accepted, and as we shook lightly, I placed my free paw on his chest, and slowly stroked down, allowing my claws to penetrate the thick coat, until I reached the top of his tight black Lycra swimsuit. I turned my paw down, and slipped my finger tips down into the suit, carefully brushing his firm sheath, until my paw was completely inside, and I closed it around his pride, firm but not hard... He froze. Completely. A look crossed his face as he looked at me... shock, fear, confusion, betrayal, and yet, a soft comfort and sense of belonging. I sensed him soften after a moment, and he spread his legs just a little bit, allowing me to fully encompass his heavy, thick balls. I did, and as I took them and closed my paw around them, he let out a light, barely audible moan. I took that as his answer, and I moved my paw around, loosening his tensions, settling the mishmoshed fur in his suit, sliding my paw back up along his sheath, stroking it up as I let my paw escape. He looked down at himself, seeing that the tight suit fully and perfectly matched his body, line for line, and it showed the ring at the tip of his sheath, stretched to allow the tip of his member to peek thru.

He looked back up at me, with a confused wonder in his eyes, and I moved my finger up to his lips, and placed it on his muzzle as if to say Shhh... He didn't say a word. I slipped both paws down to his waist and eased his tight suit free and down to his ankles as I slid down too. As I returned up, I stopped to lick under the heavy orbs, letting my broad thick tongue play over his balls, and up his sheath, encircling it as it slid up, until I reached his exposed tip. I covered it and then pushed my tongue back down; sliding a little bit into the tightness of his sheath, until I could fit no more, then worked his sheath down slowly. When I had him fully exposed, I returned to standing, and looked into his eyes. He was still frozen, so I asked if he was ok. His only response was a weak smile, and a low statement of "Wonderful."

I walked over and unrolled the sleeping bag and opened it out and kneeled down facing him on it. "Come over here and lay down." I said in a warm tone, and he did. As he laid down, I untied the drawstring inside my own shorts and slipped them down and off. He looked at me as I did so, and I felt a bit of pride as I showed my body to him... I was semi-erect myself, after having taken him down like that, who wouldn't be. :) I knelt over him, straddling his waist, holding myself up enough to just allow my balls to brush against his cream-white fur. It was wonderful, his soft fur contrasting against my fiery orange-tan stomach and deep mahogany coat. I slid back down until he was placed right at my opening, and I eased down, slowly, taking him into my body... impaling myself on his fully erect, long thick shaft... He passed thru me like a bullet, his tip very pointed, took me easily. I slid down until his knot stretched my muscles, and I eased back up, then down again, sliding all the way onto him, allowing him to complete the bond as his hard expanse pounded into me. With one hard shot and a yelp from me, he took me for his mate, and we were locked.

His orgasm was long... it seemed to go on for hours, I could tell he needed this more than anything. His pleasure had brought on my own stirring, and I had become fully erect as well. Having nothing to sink into, I began to paw off. He watched quietly, just resting his head on his paws. I pulled on his knot hard as I came, lifting him off the floor as I orgasmed, spraying my love out onto his chest and stomach, some shooting up to his neck, and one over his head... he smiled as I howled out in pleasure, echoing thru the cave loud and long. I slipped my paw down to the base of my dick, forming a ring with my fingers, squeezing tight behind my knot, simulating a tie for myself. I picked up one of the mugs and put it on his stomach, to collect my seed. He looked curious as I did this, but I just smiled at him, and worked him inside me a little bit, renewing his lock on me.

We stayed tied for over an hour... Yes, he DEFINATELY needed this. When his penis finally let me go, and I moved to roll off him, it slid out, and most of his well spent seed was deposited on the sleeping bag. I hadn't been able to tell how long he continued to cum, but apparently he had a good storage to deposit from. We both smiled and I picked up the mug, about half full with my own. I hadn't been able to keep my tie using only my paw, so I didn't last half as long as him.

"Let's go skinny dipping, and then we'll bring your sleeping bag over here since this one is a little messy." He nodded, and I helped him up. His knees were weak tho, and so he sat for a while. "Did you enjoy it sir?" I asked. He looked up at me and stared for a few minutes before replying quietly "It was wonderful, more than I have ever felt. Thank you." With that, we picked up the sleeping bag, and let it hang in the waterfall to get washed out. We both jumped into the water, and swam around for a while. I had already shrank back into my sheath, the water helped him do the same. I always liked to wash myself after cumming, so I slipped my sheath back and stroked myself up to full erection again, leaving myself to hang out until it shrank back down and slipped back in. Once I had, I moved to him and reached between his legs, and pawed him to erection, washing his member under the cool water too. Once he had shrunk back in, we both yawned and floated for a little while, then decided it was time to retire, so he went to his cave to get his sleeping bag and I to mine to get ready. I pulled the one out of the waterfall and hung it up to dry. It would be almost dry by morning. When Karishad came back, I had opened my bag up flat and we placed his on top and zipped them together. Come mrr, let's sleep. So we both climbed in,

The next morning I knew I had to complete my job. We had shared a bed that night... And I felt awful for knowing what I had to do... But I had to do it.

After we had both woken up, had coffee, and were getting ready to get the day going, I said to him "I have something I want to show you, I think you'll like it." He smiled and perked up his ears, and agreed. So we put our mugs down, and I led the way back further into the cave. He looked inquisitive as we walked along, deeper, upward sloping as we went. We both carried a lantern, and as I approached the entrance to the "room", I reached over and turned a handle and then pressed the lighter a few times. Small sparks could be seen in about 10 places around the room along the roof and walls, and as the lanterns lit, it began to take form. A simple network of pipes led from the knob I turned across the ceiling to the lanterns. He turned off his and walked in, awestruck... I just stood in the doorway and asked behind his back "Do you like it? I put in the lighting and some of the handiwork myself."

The room wasn't REALLY big, but the ceiling in the center was about 15' tall, and curved to the walls and the floor. Off in one corner were all the tools and ladders and such that I had carried in, all stacked and piled neatly. At the base of the lighting control, were 5 standard sized propane tanks. Two were hooked up, and the other three were sitting near. Once all the lanterns were lit, I turned it to a more comfortable level, and then came in after him. there were a couple stone tables and boulders rolled in as chairs, some big piles of straw on one side, and a large quantity of canned and non-perishable foods near the utility equipment. The walls were adorned with markings of fossils, carvings, paintings, and one small area near the door that was marked in strokes, indicating a counting of some sort. There was a small can of white paint there, and I added a line to the set, indicating 47 total. He looked at me with a curious look, and as I rinsed the brush in the running water he inquired about the lines. "There is one for each time I visit this place." I said. I looked at the wall, and he looked at me, and I continued... "I built this cave about 3 years ago, and I have only visited it 47 times. A few others know about it, and we have agreed that anyone that uses it should bring a propane tank and take out the empty one when they go. We also periodically bring foods and sometimes other nice things to place around." He really couldn't answer. "You are welcome to come here as often as you like, as long as you follow the same rules, and don't mark this wall. I mark here." As I gestured the painted marks. He nodded. "Thank you. I am honored."

"Come, there is more." I said.

"More?!"

"Yes. This way." I started off towards one corner, and rounded the corner where I had placed a few boxes. "Need to bring these 2 boxes over to the rectangular table in the middle of the room." I grabbed one and he grabbed the other, and we headed off. When we got to the table, I placed mine on one end on the floor, and he placed his at the other. We came back together, and I took him into my arms, and took his muzzle to mine, snaking my tongue across his lips, he let me in, and we kissed passionately for a moment. I pushed him back onto the table, and laid him lengthwise on it. "Wait a sec." I said, and climbed off. He watched for a moment... before I said "Ok, close your eyes and let me get the surprise for you." He did, and I went to the head of the table. I opened the box and pulled out the leather straps I had in it. I attached them to the rings up under the table, then draped them over careful not to touch him with them yet. I then went down to the foot and attached the ankle restraints down there. I went back up to the head and kissed him again, eyes closed, and then took his paws and crossed them under his head so he rested his head on his arms, with paws extended crossed. I attached both of his wrists as quickly, but carefully as I could, and he started to get a little worried look on his face. I eased his tension, and pulled the straps taught but not enough for him to know.. Yet. I went to the foot and attached the ankle straps, and once I was satisfied that he was at least restrained, I pulled one leg over the side of the table and pulled it tight to the pedestal, strapping it tightly in place. He got worried and opened his eyes, and looked down at me and started to get worried and upset. He tried to get his arms free, or his unbound leg, only to find that they were all bound. With his arms crossed, he could not bring one hand close to the other wrist to undo the wrist cuffs. I went to the other leg and pulled it out as the first, strapping it down tight. This left him spread and vulnerable... I decided to stop and tease as I walked up the table, so I reached between his legs, and slipped a claw under his tail, sinking into the tight warmth of his anus, then dragging up across his balls and the length of his sheath. He went stock still as the sharp point passed over his most sensitive pride and joy, and up the length from root to tip of his cock. He shuddered violently as I made the tip and slipped in and then out, and continued to walk up to his head. I pulled his wrists tight, spread diagonally over his head, and then I walked back to where he could see me, to one side of the table. He had a very worried look on his face, and I tried to comfort him, but I think he was not quite as ready for this kind of play as I had hoped. But I had to complete my job, so I started to speak.

"Karishad, I have been following you for quite some time now. I am a professional, no I am not the FBI or the police or anything like that." I placed a towel under his head. "I am trained in stealth, and stalking." I moved to the bottom of the table and pulled out a long thick firm rubbery material device from the box and placed it between his spread legs on the table. I went up to the top of the table again and pulled a few things out of the box up there, placing them around his head on the table. Once I had everything I needed, I slipped my shorts off exposing myself and eased my sheath back, working my shaft out a little, then slipped on a thick band, silver, engraved with markings and feathers, all the way down my growing member, then worked myself up to full erection again. He looked over to me, and watched me doing this, and I explained that the band covers my knot and does not allow it to expand until I want it to. He smiled and nodded. "I'm going to put one on you as well." and with that, I went to his groin, slipped his sheath back all the way to the root, and slipped the band down over him. I masturbated him some, so that he would become erect and lock into it, then I groped his balls again. He moaned at this, having his sensitive flesh hard and tortured with the band, and having his balls groped and squeezed after the night before, I knew must have been painful for him.

Once I was satisfied with him, I fastened a thick wooden pole between his knees, and strapped it in place. Then I attached a piece of chain to the band, and then to the bar, tight enough to hold his shaft in a vertical position. "Do you want to feel what I felt last night?" I asked him, and he nodded a little after some thought, so I pulled his tail out straight and pointed the rubbery device right at his entrance. With the press of a button, the tip took the shape of his cock, and I eased it into him, taking him as easily as he had impaled my body the night before. I eased it in until he cried out, and then I pushed the button again and knew that the pointed tip had shrunk back to a blunt tip. I continued to push it in, having a little more resistance now, but still I filled him completely with the 14 inches of canine cock (it was modeled after me, elongated about 150%. I am 9 inches erect). Once it was completely in him, I inflated the knot until he could take no more, then set it to auto. Every 30 seconds it would add a tad bit more air to the knot and get a little bit larger. Just a tad at a time, it doesn't have to grow much to have a drastic feel. There were also 5 vibrators in the shaft, and it would vibrate up and down the length. He could definitely feel that, as it made him shudder. "How do you like it?" I asked. He was quite happy I could see, and just nodded and closed his eyes again.

There was one last thing to do before I completed my task. I went back to the bag I had carried in and got that mug of cum from it. "Have you ever tasted cum mister?" He shook his head no. "I have some for you... but you can't have it yet." he looked at me quizzingly. I placed it between his legs and took a few more items from the box. With these I fashioned a ball spreader, and attached it to the band on his shaft, and caged his balls tightly with it, spreading them and pulling his scrotum tight. Then I attached it to the dildo in him, to keep it in place. One last thing, I attached a small battery to the band and to a link on the dildo. His body tensed and his cock raged as I did this... and I could tell he was tortured.... Such a small battery, yet it could drop a male to his knees if used in the right way.... The current traveled thru his cock and balls, thru his body, and to a metal strip that traveled the length of the dildo. It completely traveled thru his groin, hitting every major area. I did it to myself a long time ago, and it was pure ecstasy. But with the band in place... it could be torture beyond anything a canine could believe. When your knot is restricted from forming, it can be painful. Speaking of painful... My own shaft had been neglected thru this, and it was time to enjoy my release. I climbed up on the table, and looked at him, restrained and vulnerable... completely at my control.

"Karishad, I am a professional assassin. I have been hired to kill you by someone you do not want to know, and I cannot fail. It hurts me greatly to see that you have so much to offer to this life, and yet I must do this. I have to bring proof to him. He has asked for your balls, and I am to collect some of your seed for his collection."

The fox looked at me in utter disbelief. His body was strong, his muscles worked against the bonds, and the strange feelings playing in his groin.... I know he had never felt them before... every time he moved, it would surge as the metal strip inside his bowels would hit a new patch of flesh and surge current thru him. His struggle lasted a few minutes before he figured that he wasn't going to break out.

"I wanted you to have the one thing you have not had yet. I have that mug of cum I collected last night... You may suck me and drink me, or you may drink the collected from before. Personally of course, I would much rather the first, as it is much more fun for both parties, and I am in quite the need of release with this band on my knot... but I fear that you know of my job and you will bite if I give you the opportunity. The choice is yours." I gave him a few moments and started to paw off while he was thinking. I could tell that he was building to a quick orgasm, so I prepared the collection stuff... a tight rubber condom device with a tube on the top that attaches to a container to collect in. Not a real complex device, but it works. I slipped this on him, and then eased the band down, instantly giving him the last push that he needed. His knot exploded in the space of 2 heartbeats to fully engorged, and the band now served as a cock ring, again, surging current thru the new flesh. His orgasm and howl was stronger than mine last night, and he filled the collection container.

Still needing my own release, I could wait no longer. In the midst of his orgasm, I jumped up onto the table, straddling his head, aimed my shaft down and sunk into his throat. He did try to bite, but his teeth contacted the metal band and he quickly stopped. I reached down and humped deeper into his muzzle, pulling the band back to form a cock ring on myself, and pushed as hard as I could into his gaping maw. I had to straighten out his neck to fit, but I knew I had every last bit in that I was going to get in, and I held his muzzle closed around my cock as my knot exploded into his throat. He thrashed under my grip, and I held his jaws closed, force feeding him with my cum, deep depositing directly into his throat. He thrashed a little more, his body shook and his cock raged, veins in his dick pulsed and became visible along the length... His balls tightened up and he came again, the force of his cum leaking out along the length of his cock, thru the tight collection thing, and out onto the table. Then, all at once he went perfectly still. I pushed my balls into his mouth, completing my lock on him, my knot lodged in his throat, I was unable to pull out even if I wanted to, but my orgasm had overcome me, so I closed his muzzle around me again, and watched his throat pulsing with the spasms of my cum, shooting thru the base of my dick, along the length and out the flared tip of my canine dick.

His orgasm stopped before mine this time, and I eventually shrank enough to withdraw from his limp body. I knew I had completed my job. I felt a little bit of sadness in my heart, to have to be the one to take his life... a young, inexperienced, vibrant young male, full of life (and life giving sperm I smiled).

But now it was over. His life was ended. In the midst of the most powerful orgasm he had ever had... His life was drawn away from him... left only in the tiny tube of his cum that I held in my paw, and his balls, which I had to remove from his body. I was to take his sheath and balls intact. A chore that took about 30 minutes to complete. But I had removed his sheath with ease, having only to wait for his dick to deflate once I had removed all the stimulation. Quite an effective stimulus, I designed it myself, and I knew exactly how it felt.

Once my task was complete, I cleaned up the room, turned out the lights, and headed back up for the main cave. I had a place to bury the victims, and I admit it was not a very graceful burial, but it was one guaranteed to never be found. Beyond a corner on the opposite side of the room there was a small cavern that led to a great hole in the ground, where I could push the bodies over and they would never be found. It was a disgrace to the dead, but then again, killing by snuffing them out was also a pretty bad idea. I remembered the 47 as I pushed him over. Forty Seven I thought over and over.... The beauty and mystery of this grand cave that I have built up... And the lonely and worried souls of those I had killed here....

I held up the container of proof, looking at its contents carefully... thinking maybe I shouldn't have killed this one... Maybe I should have let him go... Go with him. We could live here for a LONG LONG time... but no... I had to go on...

I packed my gear and repelled down the cliff to the trail. I crossed the river and went up the side he had chosen and claimed his gear. Nothing spectacular. Some nice tight lycra suits tho. I pulled out the one he had worn yesterday and put it on. It fit me like a glove, and I decided that I would keep it for myself to remember him by, and the tender warmth and the experience I had helped him thru. This was it. My last. I would never kill again. I COULDN'T kill again. Not after Karishad. I felt the lycra tight on my body, shouldered the packs and made my way back to my car. He had not brought a car, he had been dropped off by friends, and I was thankful for this... not having to deal with extra cars.

A few days later, after I had gotten back home, cleaned up, and remembered him, I donned the suit I had taken from him, and then my regular clothes, and I took the proof and went to my boss. With a sad and lonely heart, I presented the requested items to him, and turned to leave. He stopped me and asked me why I was so upset.

"I cannot explain it sir. I feel that I have made an error that I can never repay with this one, and I wish to be reassigned. I cannot continue on this path any longer. I have taken 47 lives in that cave, but I have never felt anything for anyone of them before Karishad. He will be with me forever." With that, I turned and walked out of the office. I went back home, removed all my clothes except that suit, and planned a proper burial for him. It was too late to recover his body, for not even I had ever been to the bottom of that pit, but I had to seal it forever. Tomorrow I planned. Tomorrow I would go back and seal it forever. Tomorrow I would do to myself what I had done to them.

I packed a glass jar with some neutral suspension liquid, a semen collection device, a new battery, and a letter that I spent a few hours writing, explaining myself, and my disgrace, and the names of the furs whom I had slain. The only clothing I wore was that suit.

From here added 2/25/03:

I left my car unlocked, with the keys in it and a note saying that anyone who found it could have it. The deed release was signed, sitting by the note. The 12 mile hike in was longer than I had ever thought it could be. It's amazing how deeply one can get to thinking when they are alone for 7 hours, in the middle of nowhere... I cried for most of the hike. I had some snacks in my backpack, but I didn't eat any of them. I wouldn't be needing any more energy. The farther I went along the path, the harder it got to continue on, but I had to. I had no choice. I couldn't go back, because I had signed my own death warrant just a few hours earlier in front of my boss.

I entered the cave, and stopping only briefly to feel the power of the encounter a few nights before, I continued to the back room.

I left the 30 page letter on the stone table, set next to the full jar and collection device, and the neatly folded suit. I drugged myself up pretty well for the procedure, I'm sure you can imagine. My victims were already gone when I took their parts, but I couldn't kill myself first. I had to prep everything after the removal. The drugs were powerful, enough to dampen pain that would paralyze a male. It took a little bit of time to shut off the lanterns, and make my way across to the pit, but I did finally and sat down on the edge. I left a fairly good sized trail of blood across the floor as I stumbled, half crawling as the drugs started to wear off. I had only a small flashlight which I looked over the edge with, but couldn't see anything. I cried for a moment, and in a fleeting moment of rage, set the fuse of a small explosive device I had brought, twisted myself into a ball, and rolled off the edge. I hit the bottom where I think I broke one of my arms, before a flash of light filled the room, and I saw the bodies of my victims. For a split second, my mind reeled with the pain and restlessness of those souls. 47 innocent souls. The last image I had was of a blank stare from the 2 deep golden eyes of my last and hardest victim. He was looking directly at me, staring? And behind him, the ghost of a blue morphic unicorn. I wanted to scream out, but before I could make my mouth open, everything went blank. The grave of 47 innocent souls and 1 assassin was complete. Sealed. For the rest of eternity I would feel only the pain of those I had killed, and the longing loneliness and desperation of one special fox, whose name I will never forget.

"To the friends and family of the following 46 furs:

There is no excuse for what I have done, in the line of duty or not. I do not claim to make excuses. I can only beg your forgiveness.

To anyone who knew Karishad:

I have never felt anything this powerful before. I am sorry... I hope that you can find it in your hearts to forgive me. I can never repay you for what I have done, and I will not disgrace his memory by trying. I sacrifice myself to the mercy of the spirits, and look to them for guidance in the next plane. I hope beyond hope that this punishment I will endure is enough to ease your minds, and I hope that I may take his pain that he may rest in peace. "

48 scratches.

No more, no less.

~END

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