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Light perverted his sleep. He hated light at this time of the morning. Was it morning now? He thought so. He didn't remember bringing anyone home last night, in fact, he didn't even remember going out last night. He came home, stripped his armor, cracked open a grog, quickly roasted up an elk he'd caught a few days ago, and sat his ass on the couch to watch the blood bowl game on the crystal ball. He loved that crystal ball. Except when it rang, it was so annoying when it rang. It only rang when someone called, and the only person that ever called was his boss. Now that he thought about it, there was a loud, piercing ring jumping through his ears like rabbits with cymbals on their feet. Maybe he had too much grog last night. Was the crystal ball ringing?

"Damn it," he groaned, rolling out of bed with the lowest amount of grace he could muster, nearly landing on his back on the floor if he hadn't stuck one hind leg down to catch himself. Even then, he felt as if he might not be completely stable on that one leg, so he threw a wing open to push himself all the way over. He gave a long sigh and smacked his lips as he left his bedroom, bed unmade for the eighty-fifth straight day. As he passed a large mirror hung on the wall opposite his bed, he briefly took note of the dull finish on his red hide. It had been a long time since he'd polished his scales. Hell, it had been a long since he'd taken a bath. The least he could be bothered to do was wipe his ass, and as long as nobody complained too much, he was quite content to leave it at that. Once he was clear of anything flammable, he let out a short blast of flame against the stone wall of his hallway, burning the bad taste from his mouth. He rolled his tongue around the inside of his mouth, rolling his eyes when he felt it catch on a small bone lodged between his teeth. He'd have to fish that out...later.

He rounded the corner, passing by his small kitchen and meat storage closet. He was briefly aware of an itch on his balls, and awkwardly reached up with his left hind foot to scratch them. As he did, he felt his swollen sheath and semi-erect cock bounce against the side of his hand. He really should've put some sort of clothing on if he was going to answer a call, but he was already out of the bedroom. It was too late now.

He was in the living room now, and the crystal ball was definitely ringing. The large, seventy-two inch translucent bull orb sat on a foot-high base, bringing the top of the sphere just above his shoulders. He was rather proud of it, actually. It was one of the many things in his life he was truly proud of. His pride was based off of how much larger his stuff was compared to his friend's stuff. He made more money than his friends, so naturally, he had more, bigger things. His cave apartment was bigger, his crystal ball was bigger, his bed was bigger. His cock was bigger, too, but that was just a genetics thing. He was a dragon, of course he would be bigger.

He took a seat on his couch, which was more of a chair to him. He'd bought it used off a friend of his, a goblin. It had been a couch to him. Karl had managed to crack the backrest down in three days, giving him a more comfortable place to sit. He rested himself against the backrest, now leaning at a comfortable forty-five degrees, and gave the crystal ball a little wave. The incessant ringing stopped, and he gave his stomach a scratch while he waited for the call to connect.

A moment later, a large head materialized inside the ball. Well, really a large skull, wearing a black steel helmet. The empty eye holes glowed with a deep, pulsing red, the only outward indication that the skeleton was possessed by an ancient evil. Well, that, and the fact that the skeleton was totally alive. "Good morning, Karl. I...What the hell! Put some goddamn clothes on before you take a call!"

"Mmm, sorry Demon lord Ulrich," Karl grunted.

"Listen Karl, I know that it's your day off today, but I've got a very high profile princess coming in today, and I need someone to watch her while I go conquer Sweden, okay?" Ulrich said.

"What? I've been watching the hoard all week! Where's Gorix? I haven't seen him in a month," he asked, throwing himself forward from his relaxed position and, to the caller's relief, at least slightly covering his intrusive genitalia.

"Gorix...is leading a battalion through Denmark," Ulrich replied patiently.

"What about-"

"Listen Karl. You're the only one available today, and I need a hoard supervisor to watch the dungeon while I'm gone. I don't want you to come in on your day off either, but we don't have a choice." Ulrich said, putting a more commanding tone into his lifeless hiss of a voice. "I'll see you in an hour. And for hell's sake put your armor on before you come."

"Wait, do you mean you don't want me to come in because you're sympathetic, or because you think I-" Karl started, but the call ended. He stared for a moment at the blank ball, letting reality seep into him very, very slowly. He had to go into work...on his day off. It wasn't fair! He had his whole day planned out. He was going to get up about six hours from now, sit on this couch, do some stuff, then go back to sleep. He hadn't planned a day out so well in months, and now it was all ruined!

"Damnit~" he groaned, leaning as far back into the couch as he could.

Karl's Worst Day Ever - Hour 1

9:05 AM

"Karl, there you are! I'm so glad that you're here," Demon lord Ulrich called as Karl entered the large stone chamber

. The treasure room, which sat about six floors beneath the surface entrance, was quite a marvel of architecture, from Karl's standpoint. And from his vast understanding of engineering, it was marvelous if it was higher than fifteen feet and it didn't fall on his head while he was inside it. "Listen, I'm sorry that I had to call you in on your day off, so here's the deal. You only have to take a regular shift, eight hours, and then you can go home. Feromax said he'd be back from his family pillaging trip today, and would take the nightshift."

"Okay," Karl sighed, walking past the five foot five skeletal demon and scaling the quite large horde of treasure in the center of the room that was his to protect. Well, not his alone, but he was part of the guard. The last part, in fact, or 'the ass of the guard' as he referred to it on some particularly bad days.

"So, I'll be back in a week or so," Ulrich said, walking towards the exit with the annoying rattle that comes with having no flesh to pad your bones. "And Karl, don't lose this princess. She is really quite important."

"Hey! She said she had to use the bathroom! I wasn't going to let her do it in here!" Karl replied defensively. "How was I supposed to know that she would slip out through the sewers?"

"You were supposed to be watching her," Ulrich replied shortly. "Like you're going to watch this princess, no matter what she does."

"Well, I'm not going to watch her take a shit," he grumbled, Ulrich having already disappeared around the corner and well out of earshot. This left him alone in the large, empty, dome-ceilinged room full of gold. He turned around and plopped himself done on top of the pile of gold pieces and trinkets. Of all the hoard supervisors, he was the biggest, so his groove always remained relatively intact, no matter who sat in it. That was probably why he'd gotten this job in the first place, because he was big. He certainly wasn't better trained than the other supervisors. Most of them had fancy dungioneering degrees from big shot schools, but he didn't. Sure, he'd killed a few heroes, collected a few ransoms, but he hadn't taken a course on it or anything. It was technically a part of his job to supervise the rest of the dungeon when the master was out, like he was now, but he was no tactician. He was good at what he did on a regular basis, sit around and, on occasion, look intimidating. He didn't particularly feel like being intimidating today, though.

****

The first hour was always the hardest hour for Karl. It was too early take a nap, and because he was there, it was far too late to just call in sick. He couldn't take a break, he couldn't go for lunch. Sitting on the pile of gold was about the only thing he could do. Even the earliest rising heroes didn't make it this far into the dungeon until at least eleven, and it was barely past nine thirty. He'd ditched his work-approved armor already, deciding that if no one important was going to be around for a while, he might as well hang loose, and may even pass some time with some of the magazines he kept hidden in an urn somewhere underneath him.

"So...bored," Karl moaned, rolling restlessly onto his back, thoroughly ruining his sitting groove and throwing coins and candlesticks in every direction. There was the most irritating clinking sound coming from the thousand or so tiny coins that rolled towards the bottom of the pile, but Karl couldn't stop them. If he tried to move in the slightest, he'd simply knock more down, and the noise would get worse. He could only move when he was good and ready to deal with the consequences.

"Well, at least I have an excuse to not move for the next hour," He said, pushing his head down into the hoard behind him in an attempt to get more comfortable. He cringed as he knocked down about a hundred more coins, and once the din of ringing metal died away, he didn't move an inch.

Karl's Worst Day Ever - Hour 2

10:13 AM

Light perverted his sleep. He hated light at this time of the morning. He hated the feeling of déjà vu, too, but he couldn't shake it as he blinked his eyes and sat up on the uncomfortable pile of useless metal circles. There was a sharp, piercing ringing coming from somewhere beneath him, and he gave a pained sigh. Stupid crystal ball was ringing. He hated calls at home, and calls at work, too. At least only his boss called him at home, but at work, every stupid floor manager called him. They were all goblins or something, with the exception of one particularly bright ogre guarding the third or fourth floor. And when he said 'bright', he meant that if the ogre smashed to rocks together, he would remember what happened after he did it, instead of smashing the same rocks together five minutes later to see what happens. That's why ogres were so easy to enthrall in dungeons and armies and stuff. You just tell them that something, like smashing adventurers, for instance, is really fun, they will be so curious about it that they wouldn't do anything else. Even goblins and imps were smarter than ogres, and they were the simplest minions they had. And those damned kobolds. They were crafty bastards. Karl didn't understand why they didn't make them floor managers. Damn kobolds stole his deer once, right out of the break room storage. About ten of them, he was told, and he never saw a single one of them.

The ringing from the annoying crystal ball suddenly drew him from his distracting thoughts, and he finally bothered to reach down into the hoard and pull up the tiny sphere that had been buried inside sometime during his nap. It was tiny compared to the one he had at home, one of the fancy new cellular crystal balls. Might have been fine for something human-sized, but for him it might as well have been a piece missing from a set of anal beads. He palmed the tiny ball, cupping it as if it would simply fall apart for no particular reason.

"Hello? Yeah, hello? How the hell do you work this thing?" Karl asked the ball, mashing a finger against it in random spots.

"Lord Ulrich! It's an emergency! Higgins the Heroic has broken through the first floor defenses! We're being slaughtered up here!" The face of a small green goblin appeared inside the ball.

"Oh hey. You're...Randy...right?" Karl asked, scratching his brow.

"K-Karl!? Where's Lord Ulrich?" the goblin asked. "And Randy is the fourth floor manager. I'm Jack."

"I thought that ogre was the fourth floor manager?" he asked.

"No, he's the fifth floor manager," Jack replied.

"Then where is Steve?"

"Steve is the second floor manager," Jack continued. "Listen, it doesn't matter. You have to warn Steve about the hero. There's no way the second floor defenses will be able to stop him on their own."

"Yeah, yeah, listen Jack. I want you to get a couple goblins and go get me something to eat, okay?"

"Karl, I...Oh god, he's bashing down the door. Listen Karl, you have to get the message to Steve. And...please...tell my wife I love her."

"Jack, I want an elk, okay? No deer this time," Karl continued, unabated despite the goblin's looming doom.

"Oh...oh no, the door! Please, please have mercy! I have four kids! Aaaahhhh~"

"Jack! Jack? Make sure it's a buck, and there's no-" Karl was cut off as a splattering of green goop covered the crystal ball, and the call went dead. "I hope they get it right this time."

Now left with the silent, slightly glowing orb in his hand, he was given a choice. He could just put it down, but then it might ring again. He really didn't want to be bothered any more than was necessary, and if someone felt that it was so important that they talk to him, they should haul their ass down here and do it in person. Without another thought, he tossed the ball over his shoulder and listened with a sense of relief as it shattered on the floor.

"I'm sure Jack can get his message up to Randy himself," Karl thought aloud. "No...wait a minute, that's not Randy..."

Karl's Worst Day Ever - Hour 3

11:07 AM

"So if Mike is the third floor manager, than that means Randy is the fourth floor manager!" Karl exclaimed. He had set up a large chart on the floor, and spelled out all the names he could remember in gold pieces. It had taken him the better part of last hour to spell out all the names, and then move them around four or five times each until he'd gotten it right.

Satisfied with his results, he took a glance up at the sun dial above the entrance. It was enchanted so that it always showed the time, even if the sun wasn't shining on it. It was in Karl's opinion that, in this case, it should just be called a dial. It was just past eleven.

"Uhh~ it's not even lunch yet!" Karl moaned, wiping his work away with a distraught wave of his arm and throwing himself back into the mound of coins behind him. It splattered and dispersed as his back embedded itself into its side, clinking and clanging as all sorts of metal things collided with the rocks. It did little to suppress his rapidly growing boredom. But, something changed. Instead of the constant sound of metal as he shifted, he heard something new. It was of a high pitch, but still gentler than the coins incessant rattling. And, it was quiet now, but growing in volume at a regular pace. Karl realized that they must be footsteps.

"Did you guys bring me that elk?" he asked, raising his head as little as was possible to see over his stomach to the door. But alas, instead of three or four goblins hauling a bleeding carcass, it was a small, annoying human. He was dressed in a full suit of steel plate armor, much like some of the ones that lay scattered throughout the treasure chamber. His helmet had an open face, allowing his perfectly-framed confident smirk to radiate around the room like a buzzing light bulb.

"It is I, Sir Higgins the Heroic! Rise beast, so that I may strike you down and rid the land of your evil!" The man shouted, his voice blasting around the room and making Karl's ears rattle.

"You must be looking for Lord Ulrich. He's out right now. Why don't you come back tomorrow, and I'll tell him you stopped by," Karl replied, leaning back into the pile of coins and staring up at the plain old ceiling.

"Nay, cretin! I will slay you, and then I will take from your treasure hoard in order to buy better equipment so that I may slay and loot more for the sole purpose of buying new equipment! Rise and face me!" The man cried, hefting a sword that looked like one of those swords you put through a sandwich to hold it together. Karl always liked those.

"Listen pal," Karl said, sitting up. That was best he was going to do in the 'rise and fight' category. This was always his least favorite part of his job. As a hoard supervisor, he was entitled to interact with and/or disembowel any customers in the dungeon. "As a hoard supervisor, I am entitled to offer you three options. The first one is that I can gut and eat you, because I'm pretty sure you killed all the guys that were supposed to get me lunch today. The second option is for you to turn around and leave right now. Now, that doesn't mean that you go back to the last floor and grind until you're strong enough to beat me. When you go up those stairs, you go all the way to the top, and then you leave. The final option is you suck me off, and then I let you leave with a little trinket for your troubles."

"I don't understand," Higgins replied.

"Don't understand what?" Karl asked.

"What is the last option?" he asked.

"Oh, uh...You suck my dick, and then I give you some treasure, and then you leave." Karl replied. He'd never actually had to explain it before.

"Yes, but what is it like?" the man asked. "Describe it for me."

"Uh, well, I've never done it myself," Karl replied, scratching the back of his neck, struggling for an answer to the curious man's question. "Well, I guess...I guess it's like...eating a popsicle. You know what popsicles are, right?"

The knight nodded slowly, thoughtfully, as if there was a deeper meaning to what Karl spoke.

"Well, you would suck my dick like you were eating a popsicle. You'd suck and lick at it, and it would drip sticky juices all down your chin as you did so," Karl replied. "Except, instead of just melting away, at the end, I shoot a bunch of sticky juices right down your soft, fleshy little throat. Then, you lick me clean, and I give you...oh I don't know...a vase or something. And then you go home."

"So, what you're saying is," the knight began slowly, carefully, even. "That I take your penis...and I put it inside my mouth. Then, I eat it like a popsicle, until you shoot some kind of sticky liquid down my throat. Then, I clean you up, you give me a single vase, and then I go home."

"Well, I suppose what you get depends on how good a job you do," Karl replied. He lounged back against the gold pile a little further, and began to slowly bounce his flaccid cock against his palm, causing his sheath to stir slightly. "So, what do you think?"

The knight eyed his package warily, and contemplated everything the dragon had said. "How about...you masturbate onto me for half of what you would give me if I did a good job?" he asked.

"Are you haggling with me?" Karl asked.

"Are you willing to haggle with me?" the knight asked.

"Hmm, how about I grind against your stomach for three-quarters?" he replied.

"How about I let you use my stallion for full price?"

"How about I force myself on you for nothing?"

"I...see that we cannot reach an agreement," the knight replied shortly, glancing about the room and the various treasures that sat uselessly around him. "What was the first option again?"

"I eat you," Karl said.

"Hmm, well that's no good," the knight said, mostly to himself. "And the second option was me leaving, right?"

"Right," Karl replied. "You take what you've got and get out."

"Is there an option where you are not in this room, and I can take whatever I please?" the man asked.

"Hmm, not until my shift is over," Karl replied with a shrug. "But Ulrich will probably be back by then, and then he'll...shoot fire at you, or something."

"I suppose I can't wait you out, then," the knight added to his mental notes.

"Listen, not that this isn't fun and all, but I'm getting kinda hungry over here," Karl said, and hoisted himself onto his feet to stand before the now much smaller-looking human. "I think I'm just going to eat you, okay?"

"Do I any gold for being eaten?" the knight asked.

"No, no you don't," Karl replied. He took a step closer to the man, his head hanging almost directly over him. He had been wondering how he was going to get lunch that day, and luckily, he'd found it himself. Then again, if those useless goblins on the first floor weren't being so lazy and lying about on the job, he wouldn't have even had to get up.

The knight took a nervous step away from the advancing dragon, and the dragon took a purposeful step towards the retreating knight. Saliva began to drip from the dragon's maw, splashing over the floor and the man's shoulders. Karl's jaws opened a little wider, giving the small man a wonderful view of his undulating insides, and with a deft flick of his tongue, popped the steel helm off the man's head and gave his face a long, wet lick. The knight spluttered, and stumbled back against the wall that was suddenly behind him.

"Listen, we've reached the point where you can't just leave," Karl said. "You have to do something for me now. I have two things that are aching right now, my stomach and my sheath. You can choose one of those, and you will be paid depending on how well you do."

The knight glanced nervously between the dragon's mouth and the heavy sheath and sack that hung between his hind legs.

"Just think about it. If I eat you, you'll be dead. But if you suck me off, you'll still be alive. You don't want to be dead, do you?"

"Well...no," the knight replied.

"Well then, what's left to say?" Karl asked, reaching forward unthreateningly and gripped the knight's unused sword in two fingers. Giving it a glance of disinterest, he tossed it over his shoulder and into the hoard behind him. Now that the quivering knight was disarmed, he reached behind him with a claw and traced the edges of the armor plates, slicing the thick leather bands that held the armor to the man's frame. The unbound steel crashed the floor in a clamor, leaving the man dressed in little more than thin silk clothing that was easily shredded. This left the knight completely bare, trapped against the cold stone wall, and Karl could finally start to enjoy his job. "Now, you don't seem like the dominate type, so why don't I get this started?"

Before the knight could voice any sort of protest, Karl grabbed him around the waist with his tail and carried him back over to the massive heap of gold he'd been lying on all morning. Being careful not to squish his new toy, he made sure to keep his tail out behind him as he turned and sat back into the annoyingly loud mound of coins. He dropped the man unceremoniously down at his feet, forcing him to look up past his gorged sheath and sac to see his face. With a mischievous grin, he flexed a bit, letting his sheath swing back and forth, and watched the man's terrified eyes track it.

"Now, this was supposed to be my day off, so I'm just going to relax here and let you get to work," Karl said, lacing his fingers behind his head and lying back against the crumbling pile with a content sigh. He never took his eyes off the knight beneath him, and while at first he was amused by the dumbfounded man staring at his dick, when his did not move, it just became irritating. "Well, what are you waiting for?"

"I...I don't want to..." the knight cowered. Karl couldn't help but smile as he remembered the brave, headstrong knight that had barged into the room not ten minutes early. Someone didn't stay in character.

"I don't know what to tell you, man," Karl said with a small shrug. "You've got me all excited, and I'm not letting you leave until I get some relief. We could start somewhere else, if you want. I'm pretty open, sexually. You could play with my feet, or my ass, or something. Just, nothing goes inside me, got it? Well, unless you do want me to eat you."

"No, no," the knight insisted, although he still didn't move. They continued to stare at each other for a moment, as if some sort of other arrangement could be made by doing so.

"I can wait here all day, if I have to. Hell, it's my job to get you to do this. I get paid, for making you suck me off. Maybe coming in today won't be so terrible after all. Although, I did eat a while ago, and I'm not leaving this spot until you do your job." Karl said. "I'm usually pretty regular."

The knight shuddered visibly, and Karl saw his eyes dart down to his exposed ass for a split second. Despite being directly in the line of fire, the knight continued to not move.

Karl sighed. "Have you ever done this before?" he asked.

"N...no," the knight stammered.

"Has anyone ever done it too you?"

"No,"

"Have you ever had sex? Like, at all?" Karl asked, cocking an eyebrow. Surely a knight like him and gotten a wench or two. Everyone's had a wench before, even a few of his tiny goblin friends. And they hadn't been kidnapped wenches, either.

The knight hesitated for a moment, and flushed bright red. Even Karl was bright enough to pick out an answer from that. "No," he replied.

"So, are you not starting because you're scared, or because you don't know how to start?" Karl asked.

"A...a little of both..." the knight said.

Karl gave a defeated sigh, and then fixed the knight with a friendly smile. The smile lasted less than three seconds, when he realized that was stupid. He was going to use this man for sex, and then throw him out or throw him in his mouth. Why would he bother acting friendly? "Get up here." He ordered, pointing just behind his sack.

Apparently, the knight didn't have any problems with that one, as he hastily stood and crawled up over the dragon's ass to kneel in the indicated position. He knelt there now, his eyes routed to Karl's face as an eager smile once again crossed his lips.

"Look at it," Karl said softly, as if he was trying to persuade a cat to come through a recently opened door. The knight's eyes drifted slowly down to stare at his swollen sheath. It stood at about the same level as the man's waist, and the tip was just peeking through. When he was fully erect, he'd expect it to nicely bump his chin. He was always pleased with how well-endowed he was, as were the females he'd brought home. He wasn't particularly wide, but that just meant he didn't stretch anybody too wide. If they didn't get hurt, they tended to come back.

"Grab it," was Karl's next order. The man's tiny, calloused hands reached forward with a slight jitter, but nonetheless ended up wrapped around his shaft. He flexed a little, forcing his sheath to pulse rhythmically in the man's warm hands, although the contact alone was enough to get Karl's blood pumping into the right spots. He had been days without sex, and although humans weren't his regular partners, he didn't care. Sex was sex, and this didn't feel any different from the time he had a goblin chick around his shaft.

"Now, get a good, long sniff of its scent," he said. The man's nose slid forward about an inch, and Karl heard air suck into his tight nostrils for a split second. There didn't seem to be much of a reaction from the man, who was now looking back at his face, waiting for an instruction.

"No, get closer," Karl said, and decided this would be the best time to step in. His tail rose up behind the man, silent as a hunting snake, and struck just as quickly. A well-placed jab to the man's back sent him toppling forward, his head coming to rest between his balls, in a loose envelope of warm skin. Before he could recover, Karl pushed his sheath down over the man, completely enclosing his head in a layer of soft, warm, musky flesh. "I haven't washed it for a few days, so it's probably pretty strong," Karl said casually.

At first, the man did nothing but struggle. He thrashed, struggled, and pushed against his sack in an effort to dislodge himself, but he was stuck fast. It didn't take long for the man to change his mind about the situation, as the struggling soon stopped, and Karl could feel the occasional warm breath against his soft skin. The final guarantee of the knight's cooperation was the tiny, warm tip of flesh that had just expanded to rub against his scales.

"It feels like you're ready to go," Karl said with a grin, and released the pressure on his shaft. He had grown fully erect while the knight had been struggling beneath it, and was feeling quite ready to spray all over this little human. And if he even thought about stalling again, Karl would make sure he couldn't walk for weeks.

The man was breathing heavily as he recovered from the smothering, but there was something else, a sense of lust, behind his panting. His mouth was open wide, with his tongue hanging over his bottom lip as if he wanted to show Karl exactly what he was going to get. It made Karl smile, as he knew the man was far too innocent to realize that.

"Why don't you give it a nice, long lick?" Karl asked in a sultry tone. The knight glanced up at him for a brief moment, before dropping his face back into his sack and drawing his wet tongue all the way up the underside of the towering shaft. When he reached his slit, the tongue danced delicately about its edge before retreating into its owner's mouth. "How does it taste?"

The man was silent, unmoving. He didn't look scared, or lusty, or anything like that. In fact, his expression was uncharacteristically blank. It was as if he was sampling a fine wine, and Karl knew that it took a lot of long deliberation to come to a decision about how wine tasted. He wasn't about to wait for it.

"Listen, it's not that I don't like leading you along like this, but I'm getting tired of waiting," Karl said. "I'll give you ten seconds to start sucking,"

Two seconds later, and the knight was working again. He clearly hadn't been lying when he'd said he'd never seen a blowjob before. His licks were sloppy, haphazard, and missing some of his most sensitive areas. But something about watching the small, helpless, clueless human slobber all over his dick made up for his grievances. Some dragons liked to take knight's heads or skeletons as trophies, but Karl knew he had the right idea. They couldn't do this if they were dead.

"Wrap your lips around the head," Karl said. "Don't bite, or I will, too."

The knight had been focusing on a spot about an inch below his head, and slowly ran his mouth over the underside and up over the top, bringing the first quarter inch inside. The man's mouth was barely stretched around the tapered end of Karl's cock, but he knew that would change soon. He reached forward and rested one of his comparatively massive hands over the back of the man's head, its weight alone causing him to sink on the shaft. Karl suppressed his urge to thrust into the warm, wet orifice. If he hurt the man, he'd be no better than the trophies.

He applied a progressive amount of force, until he felt the tip of his shaft bump the back of the man's throat, and his entire mouth convulsed when his gag reflex triggered.

"Don't you dare throw up on me," Karl said, removing his hand nonetheless. "Now bob up and down, from the head to as deep and you can go. Use your hands on whatever you can't fit inside."

The rhythm was slow at first, but the sensitivity of Karl's previously untouched shaft made up for it. He found it increasingly difficult to resist the feral urge to flip the man over and take control, but he didn't want to waste the energy. If he burnt himself out now, he wouldn't have anything left for his pre-nap masturbation after work.

"Faster," he said, his voice only quivering slightly as he covered a moan. He felt things beginning to roil in his sack, the vessels and tubes pushing and pulling against each other. As much as he would've loved to carry on for as long as the knight had stalled, he just didn't have the endurance at the moment. He'd have to be sure he kept himself sexually satisfied, so he could carry on these kinds of punishments for longer periods of time. He felt a particularly strong twinge inside him, and he couldn't help but moan as his long-contained semen began to swell through him. A second later, he jerked his shaft out of man's mouth with a wet pop, and proceeded to splatter his chest and face with the first two spurts of cum. The next two soaked his stomach, and the last one became thoroughly tangled the man's disgusting mass of public fur. Karl always hated hair. The next three spurts were more like dribbles, but did a good job in coating the rest of his shaft with his own seed, and made a quite satisfying sound as he slapped it against the man's soaked cheek. "Now, clean me up and you can go,"

"You're...not going to eat me?" the knight asked before taking a lick.

"No, I've gone and ruined you," Karl replied. "I'll let you live, but if I catch you again, I'll be in your ass."

"Yes, sir," the knight said.

****

Ten minutes later, Karl and the knight were standing at the edge of the cave. Karl was squinting against the sunlight, not having been outside the torch lit room in a few hours. The knight, on the other hand, was distracted by his attempts to wipe some of the vast coating of semen off his body. Karl had informed the knight that his armor and weapons were now his, and that if he wanted to escape with his digestive tract intact, he would leave immediately. While the knight had agreed, it hadn't stopped Karl from following him up, if only for the amusement of watching his cum-soaked enemy stumble off into the horizon.

But just when he was about to tell the knight to get lost, he noticed something off to the right of the road that led right up to the entrance cave. A horse, an enormous horse, for that matter, was hitched to a relatively dead tree just off the road. There was no way it was a natural horse, perhaps bred with naturally large parents and then magically enchanted. It stood about six or seven feet tall, not including the head, with a shiny brown and white spackled coat. But color was of no particular interest as Karl noticed what the horse was packing. The horse was particularly well hung, with a wide sheath and a set of balls that hung quite loosely, with its tail just tickling their base. The sight of the stallion gave Karl one last idea to humiliate his opponent.

"That is your horse?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Yes," the knight replied, stepping up to the horse's side and rubbing his snout. In the process, he inadvertently smeared some rogue semen around his nostrils. Just as Karl has hoped, the reaction was immediate. The horse's sheath began to expand rapidly, and his long, flared cock began to inflate and bounce beneath his belly.

"Crawl beneath him, facing forward," Karl replied.

The knight appeared confused at first, turning back towards Karl in order to throw him a questioning glance. Then he took a look between his steed's legs, and a flash of panic crossed his face. "B...but..."

"It's either his or mine," Karl replied. While he had been impressed by the mammal's endowment, it was still dwarfed by his own, and the knight knew that firsthand.

Trembling, the knight did as he was ordered. He bent forward, and walked slowly under his steed, with his back pressed up against the horse's belly. Karl grinned as he watched the horse's shaft bounce against his master's ass, and nicker with excitement. He was almost tempted to reach in and help the horse line up, but it was almost as much fun watching the man jump as the rigid cock poked and dragged at him. After ten tries and neighs of frustration, the horse finally hit his mark, plowing forward into his master's bowels. The man yelped as his bowels were thoroughly violated, the horse effectively hilting himself in four thrusts. Unfortunately for the knight, the horse was so high off the ground that thrusting actually caused the human's feet to leave the ground, and leaving him dangling haphazardly by the shaft alone. It was at this point, with his adversary thoroughly defeated, Karl stepped forward and slapped the horse across the flank. With a whinny of surprise, the horse took off down the road at a gallop, the knight beneath him bouncing and flailing wildly as the flexible shaft kept him aloft. Karl was immobilized with laughter until the horse disappeared from sight, and then a little longer as he heard a loud whinny of relief from somewhere down the road a moment later. Thoroughly satisfied with himself and his job, Karl returned to the hoard chamber to take a well-deserved nap.

Karl's Increasingly Acceptable Day - Hour 5

1:07 PM

Sound perverted his sleep. He didn't like sound, sound was like light. It woke him up.

"Karl! Hey, come on, man, get up," the sound said.

"Meh," he replied sternly, and onto the side that he hoped would face away from the annoying sound.

"Listen, man, you've got to wake up!" the sound continued. "The princess is going to be here in a few minutes, and Ulrich will have every one of our asses if she escapes."

"I'm...I'm the boss around here," Karl said groggily, refusing to rise any amount. "Who do you think you are, telling me what to do?"

"Dude, it's Rick," the sound replied. Karl suddenly made the decision that this sound was a voice, and that he would refer to it as such. "You're such a dumbass when you just wake up."

Rick. He knew that name. That was his best friend, a goblin. He'd bought his couch from him. He worked in the dungeon somewhere, but he couldn't for the life of him remember where or what it was. He should ask him if he wants to go to the bar after work.

"But Rick, I wanna nap~!" he whined.

"Listen Karl, I know you get tired after you beat off, but it's not my fault. We have the princess we captured coming down in five minutes. It was damn hard to get her, too, so I don't want you to screw this up."

"I didn't beat off," Karl mumbled dejectedly.

"What?" Rick asked.

"I didn't beat off!" he shouted, far louder than he should have. The princess' escort party probably heard it from wherever they were in the dungeon. "Knight sucked me off,"

"A knight? Really? Which one?" Rick asked.

"Harry...Harvey...Henry..." He tried. None of those were right, though. "Hansel?"

"Does it start with an 'h'?" Rick asked flatly.

"Yeah-huh," he replied.

"Well, the only one I can think of off the top of my head is Higgins the Heroic."

"Mmm, yeah," Karl said. "That's the one."

"Wow dude, really? You got Higgins the Heroic to suck you off? I don't believe you,"

"His armor is over there," he replied, flicking his tail in any random direction. Hell if he was going to open his eyes just for that.

"Holy shit! That is his armor!" Rick exclaimed. "Dude, that's awesome! How was it?"

"Aw, it was good," he replied. "Guy never had sex before, but he's a natural. He'll go far as a prostitute. Oh wait, he's a knight, isn't he? Well, I don't know how well that'll turn out."

"He was a virgin? Did you ram it up his ass?" Rick asked. He sounded quite excited, and Karl guessed that he felt pretty excited, too. Rick was one of the other kinds of bisexuals. Karl was bi because he didn't care, but Rick was bi because he loved everybody. Karl had watched him in an orgy club once. Rick's idea, by the way. He was pretty freaky when it came to sex, doing all kinds of weird stuff to weird body parts. Karl had never seen anyone do something like that with an armpit before.

"No, I just let him suck me off, and then I blew all over him," he replied. "His horse went pretty deep though."

"Dude, you had a threesome with a knight and a horse!?" Rick asked. Karl was beginning to smell his pungent goblin musk under his own, which had thoroughly permeated the air in the room by this point. He crinkled his nose at it, in much the same way that he did whenever Rick was aroused in the same room as him. Unfortunately, that had been far more often than Karl would've liked. In the bar, during blood bowl games, whenever he was over at his house. Rick has slept at his house a couple of times, whenever the goblin got completely plastered with grog. Rick always slept on the couch, but he wasn't sure that the goblin was there all night. There was a very good chance that his best friend had gone into his room and touched him during the knight. He felt wet, sticky, or both, in dozens of places when he woke up, and dragons don't sweat. His balls, his ass, his toes, his snout, and the most-damning place, his armpits. He hadn't said anything at the time, but he promised himself that if it happened again, or if Rick tried to make a move on him, he'd call him out on it.

"No Rick, it was after I was done," Karl said. "I led the knight out, saw how massive his horse was, got the horse to impale himself into the guy, and then sent the horse galloping off down the road with the guy still speared under him,"

"Oh~ oh man~" Rick moaned. Karl could have sworn he'd heard the soft pattering of liquid dripping onto the stone floor, but it was so faint that he could have made the whole thing up. "I...uhh...I have to go," Rick said ashamedly. "The...princess should be down in a minute or two,"

"You're not going to hang around?" Karl asked. "It gets so boring down here."

"Well, you'll have a pretty lady to talk with in a little while," Rick replied hurriedly, and Karl could hear the goblin's rapid footsteps as he made a break for the stairs.

"Hey Rick, since that knight guy killed everybody earlier, can you go get me some lunch?" he asked. "Like, and elk or something?"

"Yeah yeah, sure, whatever," Rick replied, and his sprinting steps faded from the soundscape.

"No! Please, let me go! Help!" a shrill voice suddenly rang through the cave, headaches spreading in its wake. Karl covered his ears and grimaced, but as the voice continued to shriek and plead at unnaturally high pitches, he found his hands too thin to protect his sensitive ears.

A moment later, a group of four or so goblins marched into the chamber, carrying a hogtied girl amongst them. Unfortunately, while the bonds on her wrists and ankles were sound, there was no bond on her mouth. A metallic reek filled Karl's nostrils, wafting over from the group of goblins. Goblins had a lot of iron in their blood, which was fine for everyone, expect for a dragon. The scent of blood made him hungry, and he'd made the mistake of eating a wounded goblin once. They tasted disgusting. But while the blood from his meal had been from a missing leg, the blood coming from these goblins was dripping from their long, pointed ears. Hell knows how long they've had to listen to that shriek.

"Please!" the girl wailed, tearing rolling from her eyes like blood from her captors' ears. In fact, there was probably more blood than there were tears. "Don't leave me here! He'll kill me! He's going to eat me! Waahhh!"

"Aaahh!" Karl wailed along with her, his baritone pitch complimenting her keen quite nicely. "Put her down! Put her down!"

"But sir-" One of the goblins started, but abruptly silenced himself as Karl leapt to his feet and charged towards them. The five goblins that he'd bothered to count dropped the girl and scattered in random directions, some of them barely missing the swipe of Karl's claws as he aimed to kill whoever opposed his will. The girl would be silent.

With the goblins out of the way, he quickly snatched up the sonic weapon in one hand and threw her into the gold pile in much the same way one would throw a javelin. She remained rigid the entire flight, and embedded up to her waist in the gold coins. She was still wailing, but the thick layers of gold helped to insulate the sound, so only a manageable mumble rose from the pile. Unfortunately, the girl was very much alive, and while Karl couldn't really tell from what he'd seen of her, she was probably that princess that everyone had been talking about.

"Thank you, good lord!" The goblins cheered, charging forward to kneel at Karl's feet for a moment. "We were afraid that we would go deaf."

"That's the princess Ulrich was talking about, isn't it?" Karl asked.

"Yes, sir," the lead goblin replied, rising and wiping the blood from the edges of his ears. "That's why she's still alive. We would've brought back a corpse if we hadn't been ordered to capture her alive."

"Yeah~ Ulrich's learned that you can't ransom back a dead body," Karl said with a frown. "It made my job a lot harder."

"Speaking of which, we'd better get out of your way," the goblin said, fixing him with a smirk as he led the group back towards the door. "Good luck to you,"

"Yeah, whatever," Karl called. "And hey, if you see Rick upstairs, tell him to hurry up and get me a damn elk."

"Sure thing, boss," the goblin replied with a wave, and hurried up the stairs along with the other minions.

Karl was alone again. Well, alone save for the wailing human girl that was slowly worming her way free of her confines. He turned to watch her wriggle with a certain amount of disappointment. He'd accidentally speared the girl directly in the middle of his sleeping rut, and he wasn't about to walk across the room to the other gold pile that would support him. He was tempted to just lie on top of the girl, but he'd learned from a few past experiences that humans didn't have very strong spines. Usually hostages, be them princesses or dignitaries, ended up dead before Ulrich had the chance to ransom them back to the kingdom. It was usually Karl's fault, but he had a very good reason for it. Humans were annoying. They were tiny, loudmouthed, and self-entitled. They were like rats...but he could understand their constant chattering. They were too skilled to be taken captive, too young to die, to pretty to be eaten. He'd heard them all before, but then again, he wasn't really listening.

With a defeated sigh, he reached over and grabbed the girl around her ankles. With a soft yank, he pulled her from the pile of coins, flipped her around, and dropped her onto her back in the gold pile. He then lay himself back down into his rut, to her right, and draped his tail over her waist so that she couldn't escape. It was just about the laziest way of guarding her, short of putting her in a room with no doors or windows. Then again, it took effort to construct four stable walls and a ceiling around a struggling human, and he had no desire to do anything more than was absolutely required of him. Dungeon construction was the goblins' job.

"Ehh...what just happened?" a quiet, airy voice asked.

"Don't scream," Karl said dryly, closing his eyes.

"Ah! A dragon! No, let me go!" she shrieked, and began to gently push at his tail. At least, it felt gentle to him.

"I told you not to scream," he moaned, rolling his head to the right, away from her. "Aaa~"

"AH!" she shrieked.

"Aaa~" came his reply.

"AH!"

"aaa~"

"AH!"

"aaa~"

"AH!"

"What are you screaming about!?" Karl turned and shouted at her face, his voice easily drowning out hers now that he was inclined.

"You're going to kill me!" she wailed.

"I'm not allowed to kill you," he grumbled, folding his forelegs across his chest in a pout.

"So...you're not going to kill me?" the girl asked.

"No," he sighed.

"And you're not going to eat me?" she specified.

"Are you a virgin?" he asked.

She nodded slowly.

"Ew, bleh, no," he replied, quite dramatically, in fact.

"I thought dragons only ate virgins," she said.

"Naw, virgins whine too much about it," Karl replied. "Besides, having one tiny flap of skin intact doesn't change anything."

"Oh," she said thoughtfully. "So, I'm perfectly safe here?"

"Well, I wouldn't say 'perfectly'," he said with a shrug. "I wouldn't say 'safe' either. This is a dungeon, after all. The ceiling could collapse."

"But, I mean, you're not going to kill me, none of those goblins are going to kill me," she reasoned.

"Not on purpose, not if they want Lord Ulrich to leave their ass attached to their body," he replied.

"Lord Ulrich is the master of this dungeon?" the girl asked.

"Yeah," he sighed. "I'm just a horde supervisor who had to come in on his day off."

"Do you like Lord Ulrich?" she asked.

"He's a bit of a prick," Karl replied bluntly. "He's always on my ass against everything. 'Karl, don't sleep on the job!' 'Karl! You just let that knight walk out with that priceless treasure!' 'Karl! Don't masturbate while we're hosting the other dungeon masters for dinner!'"

"Hmm, sounds a lot like my father," the girl mused. "He always wants me to do everything he wants, but sometimes I have to do things my way. Although, to his credit, if I'd listened to him in the first place, I wouldn't be down here."

"I know, it blows down here," he complained. "I'm probably missing a blood bowl game or something."

"Oh, I love blood bowl!" the girl exclaimed, a fire alighting in her eyes. "What's your favorite team?"

"Lord Brisbane's goblins," Karl replied. "I kinda got roped into watching their games with my buddies, but they're a good team. You have to wonder how much training they have to go through to play that good. Goblins aren't the fastest things. They're not really the smartest or the strongest, either."

"I like Lord Fenerick's skeletons. Any other creature can't have their head knocked off, but the skeletons can just keep going without it," she said.

"You know, I didn't think humans watched blood bowl," Karl said.

"We don't," the girl replied. "I watch it with a family of orcs that live near the city. I used to sneak out and watch it through their front window, but I got caught one day. When I told them that I just wanted to watch the game, they invited me back, and now I go over their every Sunday."

"That's pretty cool," Karl said. He hadn't expected this at all. He'd thought that this princess would be all whiny like all the other ones, but this one was pretty cool.

"Yeah," she replied. "But now I'm bored,"

"Worst trap in the damn place," he said. "Nothin' to do."

"Mmhmm," she agreed.

"Mmhmm," he repeated.

A moment of silence passed.

"You wanna make out?" he asked.

Karl's Actually Pretty Sweet Day - Hour 6

2:10 PM

Karl wasn't a very good kisser. It wasn't something dragons did, normally. It was hard to push two snouts together into anything resembling an intimate kiss, and if a pair actually managed the feat, it usually looked more like one was trying to eat the other's face. It probably felt like that, too. The princess, on the other hand, was a fantastic kisser, from his point of view. He'd only kissed once or twice before, and he'd always been the face-eater of the pair, much like he was now. When he'd invited the girl to make out, she had almost immediately replied with a resolute, but not overly-excited, 'sure', then leapt up onto his chest and began to press her lips against his quite forcefully. When he'd opened his lips to reciprocate the gesture, her head just kind of slipped inside his mouth. The girl hadn't objected to it or anything, just kept right on sucking and licking at his tongue, which naturally curled and swept across her tiny face. He wasn't quite sure if this was how kissing was supposed to work, but it seemed to be working. He could smell her faint scent drifting up into his nostrils, causing his own musk to rapidly overtake hers. Most of the time, sexual pheromones were supposed to be faint enough for only another member of his species to detect, but Karl never found it worked that way. As soon as the girl pulled out of his mouth to catch her breath, she crinkled up her nose.

"What's that smell?" she asked, turning around to see the large, erect shaft that nearly brushed her feet. When she turned back towards him, she her expression had been replaced by a sly grin. "I am a princess. It wouldn't be proper for us to perform such a carnal act before marriage."

"Yeah~ I'm never going to get married," Karl replied.

"Oh? You don't want to start a family?" the girl asked, suddenly distracted from the shaft that still bounced subtly behind her.

"Nah, families are too much work," he replied. "I prefer being on my own, watching blood bowl with my buddies, and as much unconditional, guilt-free sex as I can afford in a week."

"Yeah, that sounds kinda nice," she said, lying back against Karl's stomach and meshing her hands behind her hand. This position placed her directly under the head of his stiff member, but she only looked up at it and smiled. She also took the opportunity to open her legs, giving Karl an unimpeded look up her dress. She wasn't wearing any underwear. He stared, transfixed. Sure, the knight's mouth had felt great on his dick, but if he could get himself embedded in a tunnel like that, then his day would be officially awesome. But, he didn't want to force himself onto the princess, like he'd wanted to do to the knight. She was pretty cool, for a human, that is. "Oh? What's that? Did the maid forget a piece of my ensemble, again?"

"Again?" Karl asked. "Do you do this often?"

"Every week," the girl replied with a guilt smile. "When I go over to the orc family's house, I don't wear any. I guess I was secretly hoping that one of the older sons will lay me flat and ravish me a little."

"Well, you're lying flat right now," Karl said, almost matter-of-factly. "I could ravish you a little,"

"How about you ravish me more than, a little," she replied, her eyes half-lidded sexily as she reached up to grab his shaft, a few inches behind the head. Just as the knight had done a couple hours ago, electric tingles ran up his spine as soon as pressure was placed against his skin, and that only intensified as she pulled his shaft down towards her, and ran her nose against the skin. Karl didn't really understand why, but everyone always wanted to smell him before they had sex. He didn't really care one way or the other, as long as it felt good. And needless to say, it did.

"You smell so...raw," she moaned, taking a loud, deep inhalation.

"Yeah, sorry," Karl replied, rubbing the back of his head while grinning sheepishly. "I haven't washed that in a few days,"

The girl didn't say a word in response, but instead because to crawl her way down his shaft, using her nose quite frequently during the trip. She sniffed down his shaft, on and around his balls, and then suddenly climbed down over his tail. He made an attempt at sitting up, but couldn't manage to see her over his many girths in that area. He probably could've if he'd used his neck to the full extent, and sat fully upright, but he was already disinterested.

Suddenly, he felt her hands on him again, this time against the inside of his thighs. He felt a slight weight on the base of his tail. He didn't want to move, for fear of crushing some misplaced part of her, but he was curious as to what she was doing back there. Still not curious enough to sit up, though.

He next felt her hot, ragged breath return to his scales, currently brushing just beneath his sack, but it soon began to descend. Down, lower and lower, until.

"Uh, what are you doin' down there?" he asked.

"I used to spend a lot of time down in the castle catacombs when I was younger," she replied warmly, her breath blowing over a part of his body that hadn't been used in this situation in a long time. "My father always said that I had a thing for...deep holes,"

Karl wanted to say something else, but found it quite difficult to do when he felt a small, soft, wet appendage drag its way around the outer rim of his ass. This was something he had heard about, but never experienced before. He'd heard Rick talking about all of his weird friends that did stuff like this, but he had never wanted to be a part of it. Not because he found the prospect disgusting, but rather he didn't want to hang out with Rick's weird friends, especially in a sexual situation. They may try to lick his ass, but they'd probably lay meat all over his body and eat it off him, or something like that.

Now, these were all thoughts taking place in the back of Karl's mind, as the main part was focused on the little human girl with her face buried in his ass. She really seemed to be enjoying herself, moaning and slobbering all over him. He could smell the scent of her lust rising to levels above even his own, which only served to improve his opinion of the whole thing. Maybe he'd let somebody do this to him again, but not Rick's weird friends.

"Not that I'm complaining," he said breathily. "but I'm not doing a whole lot of ravishing."

"Mmm, you're right," she replied after taking another long drag over his ass. He felt her pull away, and a moment later she was pulling herself back up onto his stomach. She then on her stomach, facing away from him, and giving her hips a wiggle as she spread her legs wide. She turned her head to the side, flashing him a sexy smile while curling her toes. "Why don't you pick a hole and get it all lubed up?"

Her scent was beginning to dull his reasoning, driving him into a state controlled by lust. She was still wearing her dress, but wasn't a second later. If she'd wanted to save it, she would have taken it off a long time ago. As the shredded cloth fluttered away in random directions, his head snaked forward, nearing her wet lips and tight ass. His tongue lashed out in a manner similar to a loose garden hose, spreading saliva all over her pelvic area. After thoroughly drenching her, his tongue tip returned to his lips, gently playing across the folds, but not dipping too far inside. She was a virgin, and he wanted to break her in the right way.

"Oh, I've never felt anything like this," the girl moaned, her toes curling and thighs quivering. "This feels so much different from what I can do."

He took a moment to move away from her lips and up to her ass, in an attempt to return what she had given him. It felt strange, but he didn't quite hate it. He found that if he didn't think about where he was putting his tongue, it wasn't nearly as bad. Because there was nothing special about it, Karl had no reservations to burrowing his way as far into her passage as he could. His tongue wormed deep into her, her muscles convulsion in erratic patterns. If it had been his dick buried in there, there was a chance he would've blown already. He hoped that she could massage like that in all of her holes.

"I don't want to wait anymore," she said suddenly, reaching back to place her hand on the tip of his snout. Her touch was slow and deliberate, but her face was the exact opposite. She looked ready to pounce on him herself, if he didn't satisfy her soon. Maybe he would let her do it.

"Well, I think I've done enough work here," Karl said, and placed his hands around her waist. He lifted and turned her around, standing her just over his erect shaft. "Why don't you take over?"

"Really?" she asked, reaching down to squeeze the head of his member. "Is that how you act with all of your partners?"

"Meh," he replied, and replaced his hands on her shoulders. With a gentle push, he guided her down towards their collective goal. She wanted to be split, and he wanted to split her. As with most virgins he'd been with, there was a sudden flash of panic and uncertainty the moment before he pushed apart her lips, but Karl didn't let her back out. He kept the weight on her shoulders firm, and she slowly began to sink onto his shaft, her face locking into a display of painful ecstasy. He felt something snap over his tip, figuring that it was her cherry, and a snarl flashed over her face for less than a second. He continued to sink her down his shaft, until little more than an inch remained between her and the groin scales beneath. He'd bumped into something relatively solid. Didn't quite know what it was, but he didn't want to hurt her too badly.

"You're pretty deep for a human," he commented, looking up at her face for the first time in several minutes. He removed his hands from her shoulders, and instead placed them on the coins at his sides. "Well, I'll let you go to it, then."

The girl didn't say anything, probably due to the massive shaft lodged in her virgin passage. Well, it wasn't virgin anymore. She took a few deep breaths of air, her hands placed against his belly to steady her as her legs shook from both strain and pleasure. After a moment of ragged breathing, she ever so slowly pushed herself up, sampling the feeling. Her eyes shut tight as his shaft dragged along her warm, pulsing walls. She clearly liked the sensation, because she fell with much less restraint, and when she rose again, it was like she was jumping out of a chair. A minute later, the girl was moaning and gasping loudly, bouncing up and down on his shaft while he simply lay there and watched.

Karl had sudden a revelation. He didn't even know this girl's name. This was great! He even knew the names of the strippers in some of the clubs he went to, and some of the one's he'd hired. Most of the time, he'd had to make an effort to forget their names, since they usually said that as soon as they'd found an empty room. It depended on what end of her body she was shaking in front of Karl the moment she said it, or if her mouth was full of dick or not. This girl, though, had had plenty of time to introduce herself. She just hadn't. There was never any commitment...ever. It really did end up to be an awesome day after all.

"Oh! Oh my god!" she shrieked, and her feet slipped. She came down much harder than she should have, but she didn't seem to mind too much as she was caught up in the throngs of orgasm. Karl, on the other hand, was actually quite impressed. Now that her legs were splayed awkwardly out to either side, the girl sat quite neatly into his groin scales. He was sure that he could see the tip of his shaft pressing out against the skin of her stomach, which was actually kind of creepy. Whatever barrier that had stopped him from hilting her in the first place seemed to be gone now, and while she didn't seem to be in immediate pain, he was sure that she would be sore in the morning.

With her tight tunnel quite rapidly squeezing along his length, Karl realized that he couldn't hold himself any longer. Placing his hands under her arms, he lifted her up a few inches, giving himself some room to thrust up into her. When the dam finally broke, he did his best to leave some room inside her to unload, although it didn't help much. Even with his orgasm a few hours ago, he had plenty of seed to go around, and it was soon leaking out all over his sack and running down his sides. He was getting uncomfortably swampy down there, and it was only going to get worse when he pulled out.

The girl had all but collapsed into exhaustion at this point, her eyes closed and breathing ragged as she supported herself with trembling arms. Even Karl felt spent after that. For a virgin, she sure knew how to handle a dick. With a bit of a grunt, he slowly lifted her off his softening member, releasing the torrent of semen that he'd just left inside her. It splashed down against the puddle already surrounding his sheath with a wet pattering sound, but he'd deal with that later. He pulled her up onto his chest, where she wrapped her arms around the base of his neck in a loose embrace.

"Hey now," Karl said. "We can have sex, but no intimate stuff, got it?"

It was no good. She was already asleep.

He gave a defeated sigh, watching her body rise slowly as she breathed. Her hair was a bedraggled mess, and her body was slick with sweat after their long session. Karl leaned down and let his nose run over her shoulder. She smelled like him now, his musky scent permeating from her skin. That was probably his favorite part orgasm, after foreplay, sex, and orgasm, of course. When anyone around could smell that she had been his. With a content smile, he rested a hand over the small girl's back, and drifted into sleep.

Karl's Best Work Day in Years - Hour 8

4:55 PM

Light perverted his sleep. He was really getting tired of that damn light. It always woke him up, and all he wanted to do was sleep. As soon as the light came in, all his other senses started to work too. He could smell his musk, still hanging in the air from earlier. He could feel a wet object rubbing itself against his waist. He heard a loud slurping sound from about the same area. He could still see that damn light, and his mouth kinda tasted like plants. He'd tried eating plants once. Awful idea, the worst thing he'd ever tasted.

He sat up and looked down his body. Most, if not all, of the semen he'd expected to see dried up on his scales was gone. He took a peek over the right side of his body, and saw the girl running her tongue up and over his scales, licking up all the seed that had dripped down over his waist.

"Good morning, sleepy head," she said sensually, her tongue slowly reentering her mouth.

"Hey," he replied simply. "What time is it?"

"We've got all night," she replied, eyes half-lidded.

Dissatisfied with her answer, Karl made the effort to look up at the sun dial himself. Four fifty-six.

"Oh shit!" he yelped, leaping to his feet and nearly tossing the girl to the other side of the room. "Ulrich's going to be back in in five minutes!"

"Oh, we can finish another round before he comes back," she said, moving under his belly to scratch at his sheath.

"Shit~!" he groaned. Finally, someone who only wanted to have sex, and he couldn't do it. Why hadn't she shown up this morning?! "Where's my armor?"

He spotted it lying in several pieces in a distant corner, and spent the next two minutes throwing it on roughly. He turned back towards his usual reclining pile, and saw the girl on her hands and knees inside his rut.

"Let's go doggy-style this time," she said, wriggling her hips.

He had to get her clothed, Karl realized, or else Ulrich would know that he screwed her. Her old dress lay in tatters on the floor, but some of the pieces of armor strewn about the room were still useable, albeit large for her. Grabbing up any random chest plate and leggings he could find, he pounced onto her and strapped the pieces to her. She was especially thrashy when he put the leggings on. Even she recognized that they covered her nethers, and they wouldn't be able to have any more sex. He knew that he was going to have to keep her from stripping again. He needed something to restrain her. He needed restraints.

For the first time, he noticed a tall, black-metal pole in the back corner of the room. It looked like it was firmly anchored into both the floor and ceiling, and most importantly, it was completely covered in shackles of all shapes and sizes. Tucking the girl under his arm like a blood bowl ball, he ran over to the god-sent pole and slapped the restraints on her. He may have gone a bit overboard, too, but there was no harm in that. With four or five shackle rings around each limb, she wouldn't be getting out of that anytime soon.

"Oh, have I been naughty?" she asked. "I didn't think you liked bondage."

"Ah~!" he groaned, and slapped a nearby helmet over her head. It did a good job of muffling any more annoying sounds from her mouth. Annoying sounds all about sex. Sex with him. Damn it.

Now he had about thirty seconds to get back into his rut. One thing he'd learned about this job was that Ulrich was never late, and was never early. If he said that he was going to be back when Karl's shift was over, then that's when he'd be there. Unfortunately, Karl was only halfway through his dive when Ulrich walked in.

"Hello Karl," the skeletal demon lord said. He didn't quite sound angry, but he didn't sound too happy, either.

"Uh, hi...Lord Ulrich...sir," Karl replied. This was the final battle. The climax of today's story. If he could convince Ulrich, the demon lord mastermind behind the conquest of half of northern Europe, that nothing had happened here, he'd be able to leave alive. Otherwise...Karl had seen Ulrich's mantle before. He'd mounted a lot of heads above it.

"What's that smell?" Ulrich asked, marching around the room slowly, heading in Karl's general direction.

How can he smell things without a nose? "I was...uh...working out," he replied. "You know, getting ready to fight invaders and...stuff."

"Karl, you never train for anything," Ulrich replied, lowering his brows accusingly. "Although, I did here from the few remaining goblins that you managed to defeat Higgins the Heroic. And I noticed that his armor is in the corner. Where is the body?"

"I...uh...didn't get a lunch today," he said, not entirely lying.

"It must have been quite the battle," the skeleton remarked, the first bit of brightness finally appearing on his face.

"Oh yeah, it was...pretty epic..." he replied. "Uh...how did it go in...Sweden?"

"Oh, marvelously," Ulrich replied, clapping his hands together. "Their knights folded like a slug's backbone. I'll be sending Gorix to take charge there when he returns. The messenger bats have just informed me that his campaign was successful."

"That's great," Karl replied, nodding. "It really is. Really. Good job."

"So, where's the princess?" Ulrich asked, finally sounding like he was in a good mood.

"Oh, she's locked up in the back," Karl replied. "This whole time, I should mention. As soon as she was dropped off, I put her back there."

"Karl, I'm impressed," Ulrich said. "I was beginning to think that you didn't know those shackles were even there."

Ulrich was heading straight towards the princess, and out of paranoid necessity, Karl got up and followed him. He stopped about two feet from the armor-clad princess, staring at her with a look of confusion that must have been difficult without muscles, or skin, or eyebrows.

"Why is she wearing men's armor?" Ulrich asked.

"She...uh...tried to...fight...the goblins..." Karl replied. "Yeah, she must've broken free from the goblins, grabbed some armor, but then the goblins recaptured her and brought her all the way down here...when I chained her up...to this pole...immediately."

"Hmm," Ulrich said skeptically, rubbing his chin. Karl could feel bead of nervous sweat dripping down his forehead, and he couldn't even sweat. He reached up to wipe his brow, and found that there wasn't even anything there. His mind must have been playing tricks on him. "I guess I'll have to discipline the floor managers again. I told them to keep their floors clean. We wouldn't have as much of a problem with heroes if they didn't leave valuable equipment lying around for them to pick up."

"I...told them that, too," Karl agreed. Was that too much? That sounds like a bit too much.

"Well, I'm very impressed Karl," Ulrich said. "I really thought that you would screw this up, but you did a fantastic job. Take the whole week off, you deserve it."

"Thank you, Lord Ulrich," Karl replied, a stupid grin creeping across his snout.

"Now get out of here! I'm not paying you for five minutes of overtime!"

"Yes sir," Karl replied, and ran out of the room in quite a rush. There were two reasons for that. One, he really didn't want to be in that room anymore. And two, Ulrich had shot fireballs at him before, and he didn't want to be a slow target.

A moment later, he emerged into the light of a low sun. His ass was completely unburned, his boss was super proud of him, and he'd had sex at work. Twice

"Best day ever!" he exclaimed, and leapt into the air, one hand held high over his head in a position of comical celebration. "Yeah~!"