Chapter 5: Too Human - My Average Evening

Story by DarknessWolf on SoFurry

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#5 of Too Human Pal


Whoa! How time flies when you're living life. Sorry about the long post date on this one, guess I just lost track of the days... well weeks... well months. But it's finally finished, phew!


Back to reality and it's time to get my priorities straight. Priority number one: start drinking again. Well that's that, any other business.

It's been two weeks now, since my very attractive vixen girlfriend came through the time rift thingy and we managed to get back together. During that time she spent pretty much every second of every day trying to convince me to show her what my human world is like. Needless to say for the past two weeks I have been spending most of my time at the pub. No, I have not started to drink again but I'm seriously considering it and I really needed somewhere to escape to. It's not that I don't love Jenny but you know what it's like, the nagging eventually becomes irreprehensible white noise. Jenny's is this sort of high-pitched squeal, kind of like a cat when you stand on its tail, but I digress.

Yesterday was no exception of this, she had done nothing but look upset and mope around the flat all evening complaining. I love her to no end but when she gets that annoying... I just have to go to my happy place. But that was a Sunday and today I've been at work and managed to avoid her. I was on the beat as usual, so when I come home I feel like relaxing and maybe unwinding in that certain special way... you know the one I'm talking about. The relaxation part was there but not the other, this is what happened.

"Hello sweety I'm home, get that tail over here!" I called pleasantly to the rest of the flat. I closed the door behind me and hung up my coat. Well I say 'hung up' it was more like throw down. Anyway, she responded in the usual way of bouncing her way over to me from wherever she was and we shared a long warm hug and an equally long kiss. Man I love the way her rough tongue goes over mine in a lapping motion it feels so good. The fabric of my jeans was suddenly stretched to its limit, nearly catapulting my belt across the lounge. Jenny 'somehow' noticed the new large lump sticking uncomfortably into her hip and she smiled seductively looking down.

"Not right now, we've got all night and besides, I've got pizza," she said, smiling and stepping aside so I could see the very inviting sofa with open pizza box on top one of the arms.

"For pizza and you, I can wait," I grinned, I wasn't really in the mood anyway. Am I really that obvious when I lie?

We both took a seat on the sofa, making ourselves immediately comfortable. I was sat up in the corner, resting against the armrest with Jenny led down on the sofa with her head on my chest. We both tucked into a few slices of pizza each and watched some romance film that I can't remember the name of. Personally, I dislike romance films but Jenny likes them, so I stick them out for her.

I stroked her head fur and played with her ears as she murred peacefully. Her fur was always soft and a pleasure to run my fingers through. She tilted her head back and closed her eyes as a started to scratch a little more intensely. I planted a kiss on her lips, which was returned with enthusiasm. I moved a hand down her side and up over her hip. I stroked up her bushy tail from base to tip. As I continued to rub her head and ears, my hand slowly drifted its way between her legs. I could tell that she was already very horny. I could feel it for myself, as her crotch was almost on fire from the heat being produced by her longing pussy. I rubbed lightly up and down, just providing enough stimulation to make her gasp and moan.

"Oh you are persistent aren't you?" She murmured, her eyes closed and an open mouth.

"I try," I answered her, kissing up her neck.

I now had a raging hard on that was pressing right into her back. She smiled at the feel and purposefully moved up and down, sending tingling sensations throughout my body. I noticed a number of twitches in my member, making it beat against her back. She turned over so we were face to face. She slid of the sofa and stood before me, I was surprised just how cold I was without her. It was a hard day and I think I deserve a bit of a release.

She grabbed my bulge with a furry paw and I stood up, obeying her obvious command. Still holding onto my clothed cock, she dragged me like a dog into the bedroom. She sat me down on the bed and I watched as she rubbed over my jeans. A soft moan escaped my lips. She leant over, wiggling her ass in the air and swishing her gorgeous tail. I was practically drawling over her sexy display of eroticism.

"Now I've got you right where I want you," she smirked, sounding less seductive and more serious.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, a little confused. I wondered why she stopped rubbing me and was now standing, looking angrily at me with her paws against her hips.

"Well if you want to get some tonight or ever, you're going to have to answer me," she threw aside her smile and replaced it with an angry look. All hands stand down, sorry Mr. Happy but today just hasn't been our day. At the sheer mention of this I immediately lost my hard on and prepared myself mentally for another nagging.

"I don't want to spend the rest of my life in this flat wandering around bored out of my mind-"

"Uh hunny I just want to say..." I interrupted.

"I'm talking now shut up or I'm going to start torturing you!" she bellowed back at me.

"Ha! Do you really think I'm that desperate!" I laughed back egging her on, which was a mistake. A pretty big bloody mistake! Jenny can make me so damn horny just by wagging her tail, how the hell am I going to survive this. It was to late for second thoughts...

She turned around and bent over, giving me a perfect view of her well rounded ass and thrashing tail. She swayed her hips and I once again, I felt my jeans expand to ripping point. She moved her paws up her legs and over her zip. She slowly undid the zip, making sure to keep her tail swishing at a slow rhythm. Equally as slowly, she started to pull her trousers down, but stopped when her tail was able to flick out of the specially made hole. The hem of her jeans rested just underneath her bottom.

I was panting audibly, the temptation to tear open my flies and whack off was overwhelming my mind... but that would mean she's won. That's just what she wants and I can't let that happen. Must resist... erg... to wank.

Then, something snapped inside of me.

"Look I'm not going to sit here and take this from an inferior creature!" I shouted at her losing complete control of my voice. Realising what I had just said, I now knew I wasn't sleeping here tonight. The look on her face made my bowels release and my heart skip a couple of beats. Her muzzle was scrunched right up against her face and her eyebrows lowered so far her eyes became dark. Seriously, it was that terrifying.

"I'm g-going to go now," I whimpered in a truly quite pathetic tone. Before I left quietly through the bedroom door, I noticed her retracting her claws. I couldn't help but wonder what she was going to do with them.

So now you see what happened and you can also see why I am at the local pub. It's not all bad; at least I've got company with others as sad as me. The one on the right, who looks like a professor of Astor-physics, is Howard. He's actually a complete idiot and only wears glasses because... well he can't see, why else would you wear them. The fact is that on the outside he looks smarted than he actually is. Other than that he is a stand up guy and the least prone to mayhem when he's had a few.

The one on my left is John. Not much to say about John really, he's pretty average. Except he's a bit mad and there's nothing wrong with that at all, at least he knows it. The only problem is that he can get a little violent at times. Lets just say I would still have the tip of my little finger if I didn't piss him off one time after a long night of binge drinking. I really shouldn't have given him that Stanley knife.

And you already know Frank, so I don't need to tell you what a twat he is.

"Hey guys I got a good one shh... right, how can you tell that your girl friend is into bestiality?" Frank blurted, looking at me with a grin. I gave him a cold hard stare and he just smirked back at me. The others laughed in anticipation.

"When she calls your dogs name out during sex," he delivered the punch line, the operative word being punch, which is what he'll get from me one day. Of course, neither John nor Howard knew about my relationship situation, so to them that was just a joke and not a joke at my expense.

"Right, who's round is it?" John piped up and asked.

"I think its mine mate," Howard answered, looking over at him.

"Good man," John cheered. Howard walked over to the bar and asked for the classic round of ours. Carlsberg for me obviously and the others had some kind of watered down piss in a pint glass. He returned with our drinks a few minutes later and took a seat.

"Right down to business, who's nailing who nowadays," Frank asked, taking a large gulp of larger.

"We won't ask Howard, the last time he had any, England won the world cup," I said, pointing out the obvious whole in his sex life. It wasn't entirely true but it still made us laugh.

"I'm 29 you twat! Anyway, I'll have you know I'm in a relationship with a very hot women," he sounded and looked so unbelievably smug.

"Yeah his mum," John laughed, slamming down his glass. All of us joined in, except Howard of course who had that smug grin readily wiped off his face.

"No you fucking pervert, she just so happens to very stunning," he jumped immediately to his own defence. Frank was still laughing his ass off and I was trying my best to hold it back.

"Ay, It isn't that old biddy from down the road, what is it, Margaret," Frank recomposed himself and asked.

"Yes..." Howard replied with a deep sigh. That was it for us. The atmosphere in the pub just got a little bit livelier as the three of us were having a riot.

"What about you Frank?" John asked, expectant of an answer other than nobody.

"Well there was this one bird who stuck out in my memory, only because she had the cutest ass going mind you. Fucked her a good seven or eight times and within three days I got bored of her and told her to fuck off," he said very chuffed with himself. Personally I think he's missing out, he has never been in a relationship long enough to fully appreciate the love that you can share with another huma... um life form. Oh shit I'm getting old; a few years ago I never would have seen myself in a 'relationship.' Let alone a relationship with one not of my species.

"I don't know how you get away with it Frank. You've been in and out relationships more times than I've changed socks. You know every birds phone number and last name this side of the water," John looked at him enviously. He just smiled smugly and winked.

Then the conversation turned to me, something I should have seen coming... but didn't.

"Pal, how's the old sex life without your fiancé hanging around?" A question I had avoided for a while now, but it was bound to happen sooner or later.

"You mean I had a sex life when I was engaged," I answered him, taking a very large gulp of drink. The others laughed but I just carried on drinking.

"Stop stalling and give us the goods," John shoved me, making the glass leave my lips and forcing me to place it on the table. I thought quickly, thinking of anything I could say to either wriggle my way out of it or fob them off with a tale of 'how I got laid last week.' Shit they're still looking... shit I can't lie Frank will rat me out... shit got to say something. Then it hit me.

"My round isn't it?" Pal my friend, you can be a genius at times.

10 or so drinks later...

We left the pub about one in the morning, we would have stayed longer but after I started singing 'Bohemian Rhapsody' badly, we were thrown out. What? I thought it was karaoke night and I love that song, if people don't want me to sing then they don't put Queen on the Jukebox.

Ah my nemesis, the long walk home. Well its not exactly long, it just takes a while when your left leg wants to go right and your right leg wants to go left. Designated driver, bullshit!

We shuffled along the street just around the corner from the pub. We were all as drunk as the other and it showed. Howard, being one unable to cope with such a large intake of alcoholic units, was resting up against John. John was basically carrying him home, even though Howard lives in the opposite direction.

About half an hour into the walk home, Howard announced that he needed to relieve himself.

"I've got to take a piss," Howard slurred, as he stumbled to the nearest toilet, which just happened to be a wall. He placed both hands on the wall and leant against it for support. The rest of us stopped and waited. I leant against a lamppost trying to stop myself from falling flat on my face.

Howard turned back to us with a satisfied look on his face. I was the first to notice a little problem with his, shall we say hygienic condition at this particular moment in time. The rest followed suite and soon we were all staring at his crotch.

"Howard mate... your flies," I said, looking down at his trousers.

"Huh?" he replied not getting me straight away. He looked down to discover that he hadn't actually unzipped his flies at all. So now you can guess what his crotch looked like. Yep, giant wet patch. I wondered why I didn't hear anything splatter.

"Mate, stop, look, unzip then piss," Frank said mockingly and patted him on the shoulder.

"That's a bit fucking complicated mate," he replied, just about to rest up against John again.

"Come anywhere near me with those trousers and you are dead," he snapped at him, realising he was about to be used as a steadying post.

"How am I going to get home," he mumbled.

"Home is in the other direction you twat," John replied, pointing out down the opposite end of the street.

"Oh shit." He mumbled quietly, as he turned to face the road behind him.

"Don't worry, I'm sure you can make it back before the sunrises," Frank again mocked him. He only received a sneer and two fingers for his trouble.

We watched Howard as he stumbled back down the street, tripping occasionaly on loose stones and bits of rubbish. He disappeared into the dark and we heard an OW! None of us could be bothered to go back and find out how he fell over and just carried on walking. He'd be fine, he always like this.

With the walk over and the others home already, I approached my flat door nervously. I hadn't thought about it the whole time I was out, but now I was face to face with the door that harboured a possibly very angry and clawed anthropomorphic creature. It took all my courage and all my concentration to insert the key into the keyhole. After several attempts of missing the slot completely, I finally realised I was at the wrong flat.

A few minutes later and a flight of stairs later, I was at my flat door. At least I hope, because I'm not climbing another flight of stairs. If this isn't it, I'm sleeping outside.

I again, tried several times to insert the key into the keyhole. On the... something attempt, the key clacked and the lock unhinged. I breathed a sign of relief, but then my mind refocused on Jenny. Was she still angry with me? I guess right at this moment it didn't matter since it was two in the morning and I would suspect she was asleep. I closed the door a little louder than I intended and it made a bang.

"Shhhhhhh! Do you want to wake her up!?" The same as when I closed the door, my voice was a little louder than I wanted it to be. It was obviously going to be dark and I did not turn the light on because again I didn't want to wake up Jenny. That and I couldn't find the light switch. Knowing myself all to well, I knew that being drunk and in the dark was a recipe for me tripping over something. Bearing that in mind, I stepped forward into the bitch black of the living room, using my hands and legs to feel my way around the room. Although I have traversed my apartment five thousand times, it doesn't mean I'm not going to slip up on the five thousand and first time.

I kicked something over and it made an almighty crash when whatever it was hit the floor. I cringed tightly in a similar expression to that of pain. Of course, if I had woken Jenny up then that expression was likely to make another appearance.

Feeling my way further forward, I figured I must be close to somewhere I could just collapse and sleep, as I had been wandering for quite some time. My right hand grabbed a hold of something, I had felt it before but couldn't quite figure out where I had felt it. It had the smooth texture of some kind of fabricated material, but also a rounded and squeezable shape. Reaching up, my left hand found another jelly like orb. I thought to myself how peculiar this was, I was sure I hadn't anything rounded and squeezable in my flat.

With that thought in my head, the lights switched on and my eyes naturally blinked a few times to accumulate to the light. When my vision returned I discovered what the round objects of my fondling were.

"Want something do we?" Jenny asked, as she looked at me with a half smirk, half disapproved look. My eyes drifted skywards to face her. I couldn't do much else but stare dumbly.

"Oh um... yeah, I mean no... I just... sorry," I fumbled to find the right words. Her paw was resting against the wall on the light switch and the other on her hip.

"Are you quite finished?" She asked, sighing. It took me a few seconds to fully understand what she had just said and why.

"Oh sorry love," I quickly answered, darting my hands off her breasts. I looked for any signs of anger but could only find signs of sleep deprivation. Even when she is tired, Jenny still looks so beautiful, so perfect, so... why is she falling sideways? No wait I'm falling sideways! Shit hand on wall, steady yourself, she's looking for any sign of weakness. Okay Pal, you've practiced this, she can tell when you're drunk, so just act natural and don't say or do anything to make her suspicious.

"I love you!" I shouted, dribbling out the side of my mouth and holding out my arms. Fuck it!

"Come on lets get you to bed," she sighed rolling her eyes. Loosing my balance, I stumbled forward into her arms and we hugged. Well she was hugging me, I was just making a vague attempt to save my head from going through another coffee table. Believe me it hurts, a lot. If she weren't there to catch me, then I would have experienced that particular pain again.

She helped me into the bedroom and onto the bed. I wasn't at all tired and thinking about sleep wasn't helping either. Jenny crawled up the bed beside me and rested her head on my chest. She had a smile on her muzzle, by that I could tell she had forgiven me or at least forgotten. A spark of romance hit me and I felt I had to say something to fit the gentle mood of the situation.

"I'm so glad I found you," I said, tickling between her ears. What? I can be romantic sometimes, what were you expecting me to say, something horrible and awkward I bet.

"Mmmmmm... me too," she murred gently, placing a paw on my groin and stroking lightly. The feel of rubbing through jeans fabric brought a smile to my face.

"I thought you said we weren't going to have sex." You stupid twat! What the hell are you thinking you prick, god damn it. Figures tonight would be the night I start drinking again.

"I didn't say we weren't going to have sex and why do you assume we are going to" she tilted her head up to meet my gaze.

"The fact that you are rubbing my cock," I answered, scratching her ear. She crept up closer to my ear and licked it.

"Good point," was all she whispered. With that, she ripped open my zipper and my member automatically sprung out of the opening created. Her whole body flowed down me, dragging her soft paws over my shirt. She pulled off my trousers, but left my pants on. Re-climbing my body, she undid the buttons of my shirt and pulled that off as well, flinging it aside. Now it was finally my pants turn, the restricting force holding back my straining erection.

She pulled them sensuously down my legs and they to were flung aside. The full glory and length of my penis was revealed, naked and fuelled by an over douse of medicinal beer. Calling alcohol medicinal helps me justify to my self that drinking is good for you.

She took hold of my member with a paw and started to paw me off. The supple almost hypnotic feel of her paw pads, sent my body rocking with ecstasy. She pulled her closed paw, slowly, right down to my balls then shot it back up again. The same gentle motion of slow then fast, was repeated a few more times over my shaft. Jenny repositioned her paw to get a better grip and let fly her full speed and ferocity. I moaned long and loud at the sheer quickness and accuracy of Jenny's strokes. I had little self-restraint at this moment and wanted nothing more than to unload my sac there and then. But Jenny had different plans for me. Just as I was nearing my peak, she stopped and allowed me to come down from my high. It was torture having been that close and then having to let yourself come down like that. It was too much and I made the mistake of trying to place a hand on my penis and finish what Jenny had started. It was quickly swatted away by a harsh paw.

"No, now you keep those hands to your sides and maybe I'll think about letting you cum tonight. If they so much as move, I'll make sure you regret it," she said sternly, locking my arms to my sides and glowering at me. I knew she didn't mean to look so scary, but it got the message across that she was in full control tonight.

Now I guess I should explain, but Jenny and me haven't had sex for a week now. This is kind of special, as neither of us had climaxed in that whole week. Well I say neither when what I really mean is, she hasn't had an orgasm in a week. I don't understand women sometimes... well who does but my point is that I still haven't figured out why we had to suddenly stop. Ah, I'm sure I'll find out one day.

She once again placed her paw around my shaft, only this time it was at the hilt and she didn't move it. Instead she dropped her muzzle down and around me, engulfing my cock in a warm, wet and highly pleasurable place to be. I could physically feel my eyes roll into the back of my head as she sucked like and expert. Subconsciously, my hands found their way to her head and I applied a little bit of pressure, heightening my own experience. Luckily she didn't notice, so I went unpunished. She bobbed up and down rapidly, taking in a good 6 or 7 inches each time. The tip of my cock stroked the roof of her mouth and the bottom side had the applied pressure and roughness of Jenny's tongue. I could only moan in infallible pleasure, as that rising feeling hit me again. My cock twitched eagerly in her mouth, as she purposefully brought her head up and teased my tip, by wrapping her tongue around it. One final time she took in my member, still with her tongue wrapped around it.

Again, she stopped just as I reached my peak; only another second of touch was needed to finish me off. She slid my shaft out of her maw, sucking on my tip as she did. She used the back of her paw to wipe away any pre-cum and saliva left along her lips. I cringed in agony of being so close again and the overwhelming temptation to stroke myself was unbearable. Just one more touch... that was all I needed... just one more. Jenny was way to fast for me, she instantly noticed my right hand slide up my legs and approach my fidgeting member. This time she was really harsh, she struck my hand with her claws fully bared.

"OWWWWWW!!!" I shouted. Those razor sharp claws sliced my hand with three distinct cuts, which bled freely. Obviously, she was still a little pissed. I cradled my hand in a desperate attempt to make the sting go away.

"I said you'd regret doing that didn't I," I could see an evil smirk crawl its way across her muzzle. Oh she was loving this just a little bit too much for comfort.

Playtime was obviously over, as a lustful look gave me a good indication of her next move. I could tell she wanted me inside her and just thinking about it made me forget the slight stinging on my hand.

She sat up and straddled my waist, her pussy hanging just an inch from my awaiting shaft. With a quick wink and a seductive smile, she dropped forcefully onto me. She instantly hilted my member plunging it into the depths of her sex. Having it that quick and that hard was truly fantastic. I could feel her inner walls already massaging at my cock as she convulsed with pleasure. Her head was tilted right back and her muzzle open a little.

She used her feet as a sort of springboard, using them to push off from the bed, then come crashing back down upon me. This was quite a good position for me to be in, as not much work was needed on my part. If work were needed in the bouncing department, I'd most likely end up with my head over the toilet bowl. Still, I was easily able to pump upwards in time with her downwards thrusts. We built a solid and satisfactory rhythm in no time at all.

Jenny moaned and gripped onto the bed sheets, clawing at them like a desperate animal. I made more than my fair share of groans and grunts as the rising feeling of orgasm neared. Jenny started to furiously pound at my flesh, her face turned red and flustered. She was merciless in her assault and kept up an unbelievably rapid pace that I simply didn't have the energy or concentration to keep up with.

It was an awe inspiring sight and feeling as I watched her perfect round mounds bounce and jiggle before me. I thought there couldn't be a penalty for moving my hands if they were going to do something that increased her pleasure and not mine. My prediction was right, for once, as I moved my hands up her side and towards her breasts. I cupped each with one hand and massaged them. I teased her erect nipples with my fingers, making her whimper in delight.

Her orgasm must of hit her like a train. She suddenly cried out her pleasure, gripping and twisting the bed sheets into unrecognisable knots. I felt her cunt walls squeeze almost agonisingly around my shaft, as her orgasm reached its very peak. Her eyes were tightly shut and her mouth open, but no sound was being produced. The feeling of her moist climax around my cock sent me over the edge as well. A rush of my seed shot up her passage coating it entirely. I came in her a good four times before coming down from such an unbelievable orgasm. Although I hate to admit it, I think her tactic of bringing me to near orgasm then letting me calm down, actually heightened my pleasure.

She collapsed forward onto me, her head resting on my chest. Her breathing was shallow and rapid she was basically hyperventilating. I rubbed between her ears trying to calm her down. It seemed to work, she was breathing more normally quite quickly. I slipped out her juice and cum filled cunt. I rolled her off so she could lie down comfortably on the bed beside me. That was it for me, I'd been running on pure adrenaline up until now, but I had completely run out of energy.

"Why were we putting this off for so long?" I sighed breathlessly, rolling back over and hugging her closely.

"I honestly can't remember," she sighed, closing her eyes peacefully. We drifted of to sleep cuddled up to each other basking in the afterglow of love and passion.