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An old wolf by the name of Marvin, Battered and withered by the passage of time, Slowly made his way into a room Where few listeners awaited a tale in rhyme.

In this room was an array of cubs, Pups, kittens, and smaller versions of their elders. As the old wolf reached the front of the class He waved and smiled, soon hearing, "Hello, Mr. Felder."

The children loved him, and Marvin loved them. He would sometimes take them out on little hunts. But today, his wife just cheated on him, causing him much anger, So he was still quite drunk, and then shouted, "Alright, you cunts!"

All the children were shocked. Even the pup with a thing for dead crickets. They looked at each other, then back to him. He was furious, for he had gotten a ticket

For parking his car inside the display Of a shopping mall with his drunk drive. The police never found him, though they soon would. He never thought that he would have survived

That crash, but it was behind him He was now going to tell the pups Their story. They weren't ready for it. Neither was he. He took a swig of his cup.

"Listen, you ugly, inbred chimpanzees, I don't have much time before they get here. So listen to my story and learn of its message To open your eyes and...eh, enough rhyming shit. The story begins now."

Marvin took a few steps from the front of the classroom in order to wave his arms around to present his story with more excitement, though his drunken state would have made the presentation less than classy.

Alright. Once upon a time, there was a lion by the name of Lyle who lived in a city...where everyone was simply a little out of the ordinary. And by out of the ordinary, I mean that everyone was fricken' insane, cousin! You know what I meeeeeeean?

Marvin slammed his withered paw on his knee, as if expressing just how crazy everyone was with how loud of a sound he made with his knee. The children looked at each other in confusion, but shrugged and looked back at him, awaiting the rest of the story.

Alright, I'm a little exaggerating--no, really, everyone was crazy. He was the only furry--and by furry, I mean person--in this city who was sane. Why? Well, because...that's just the setting of the story. Give me a break.

_ _

Okay, so it was his first day of high school, and Lyle was pretty nervous. So then he walked up to his mother and said, "Mom, I'm really nervous about school. I'm not really sure how things are going to go; and you know, because of my condition of having a really long tail," ...which was twelve feet long, to be exact..."I'm worried that people are going to make fun of me! I'm really worried that, you know, I'm going to stand out in a negative fashion, and that people are going to judge me on the fact that I have a really long tail. Oh, they're gonna call me a 'freak', they're gonna call me a 'loser', they're gonna call me 'ugly'...um...I'm just really nervous, you know. Maybe I shouldn't even go to school today...maybe tomorrow, when I have some time to consider this decision of pursuing a high school education."

And then his mother responded, "You know what? Listen, you little backstabbing hyena. You better get to school, or I am going to kick your ass. Listen to me, you little shit, you think your tail is long? Well, guess what? When I gave birth to your ugly ass, the first thing that came...the first thing when you came out that the doctor cut was your tail, on accident, because he thought it was your umbilical cord. So, your tail could have been even longer, but thanks to the stupidity of the doctor, mostly on malpractice, he cut the wrong cord! So, straighten up your back, act like a lion...the lion that you are...and listen to your mother. You're gonna go to school, and you're going to learn to love it whether you like it or not. You got that?!" And with that, she fingered his butthole and sent Lyle on his way...and then started his first day of school. Already problems in the home, but man, he didn't even get to school and he's already having problems, you know what I'm sayin'?

Marvin then turned to his left, as if looking towards an imaginary secretary sitting at his desk. "This is commentary; please put it in the parenthesis, sober Jacob. Thank you." The children began to snicker amongst one another as they realized that he was acting a little crazy. "Someone's had a little too much apple juice, today!" said an adorable little kitten with a pink bowtie in her hair. All the children started laughing. Marvin scoffed at the comment and continued his story.

Alright, now, back on topic. Let me look around here...alright. As Lyle arrived at school, furries were mean...everyone was mean to him. The skunks, the prisoners...

"I don't know why I put that in here. I'm just reading from the word document..." uttered Marvin. Everyone had gotten confused once more, looking at each other and commencing a small giggle amongst one another. "It's the apple juice." uttered one of the male pups. They all made a quick chuckle. Marvin gave them all an angry huff, and the continued his story.

...everyone. The nerds, the geeks, the emos, the lesbians, the jocks, the cheerleaders...EVERYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY HEE HEEEEEEEEEEEE-one was mean to him! You know what I'm sayin' cuz'? Everyone was mean to him.

Marvin then rubbed his stomach for a few moments, and as his eyes began to twitch and he closed his eyes. He proceeded to let out the most crystal-clear, loud, and vibrating fart that any of the children had ever heard. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tx1wCdW_yxw) The fart was so loud, that half of the children's mouths fell open, although they were closed just as quickly by the horrible odor that came of the fart. The adorable kitten started waving her paw in front of her face, trying to fight the smell that attacked her nose. Many of the kids got up from their seats and ran towards the back of the room to make some distance. Marvin started smirking and continued his story.

So...mmm...after....so when he entered school, everyone just looked at his really long tail, and they were wondering, "How did he forget to carry that around with him? I mean, isn't he gonna get it lost...I mean, get it stuck on every door he passes, because it's so fricken' long, man."

"What do you...no...no...no...no, I'm going to take my Advil later," Marvin told himself as he seemed to get distracted from the story. Most of the children were still distracted by the nasty cheese he had just cut. "Alright, so assssssssssss HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...man, this is going to be so hard to decipher when I'm sober. Aww man, I'm so glad I took all those shots. Alright." He snapped out of the distraction and continued his story.

So everyone was basically pretty mean to Lyle. Everyone. When he first walked into the school, furries were first just looking at him. Didn't know what to think. The first thing they noticed was that he had a really long tail. And they asked...and they were just asking to themselves, "Why is his tail so long? What...I mean, is he abnormal? Is he Mexican? Is he a Mormon? Does he realize how long his tail is? Why doesn't he just tie it in a knot and hide it in his pants. Why doesn't he just give me a blowjob? I mean, if he sucks on a tail as long as his, I mean he pretty good lips, I mean, he's pretty good with his mouth." One of the male dragon cheerleaders then began to have a raging boner as he watched Lyle pass by him. He then started to get worried, and quickly slammed his locker shut, accidentally slamming the locker on his boner. He let out a loud yell and started running for the bathroom. Anyways, like I was saying, Lyle had a really long tail. Everyone was giving him a hard time. Especially the jocks. Not that kind of hard time, but the hard time that is not sexy. No sexy time for you, nasty fuckers. Football players, you know, they have this mentality that if they act tough, furries will think they are important and then show them respect. But this is just...if you look down right into it, it's just a reflection of their inability to recognize that maybe football really isn't their best career choice available. They would not get by life by just playing football. They had to adopt a set of responsibilities that will...that will prove to any future employer that they are ready to take the task of the job.

"I'm off on a tangent," coughed Marvin. He then pulled out a flask filled with a powerful mixture of three hard liquors, took a swig that seemed to last an eternity, and then carelessly threw the flask at the children, knocking the adorable kitten with the pink bow off of her chair. She then proceeded to get up, rub her face, and run away in tears. "She's just a spoiled brat. What a little bitch," said Marvin, who then let out another nasty gas emit from his withered backside. He took a whiff of the air, smiled at what he had done, and continued the story.

The jocks were jerks. Anyways, like I was sayin'...six minutes? Awesome. So, Lyle had a rough time. Everyone was mean to him. They tried to shove him into lockers, but his tail was too long, so they couldn't fit him into the locker. So then, they just pushed him around, pushed him into the girls bathroom, holding the door closed so Lyle couldn't get out. He hated it. A female zebra inside the bathroom walked up to him, gave him a quick look over, then grabbed his tail and started suckling on it. He noticed that his tail began to feel quite warm and wet, with a gentle, snug feeling wrapped around it. He turned around and saw that she was trying to shove his whole tail into her mouth. He stood there in shock, pulled his tail away from her, and then kept trying to push his way out of the bathroom. Everyone was mean to him. Everyone.

"I've already said the clichés that were mean to him, so give me a break," muttered Marvin. He looked out the window and saw several police cars driving around, looking for a place to park. He chuckled as he knew they were looking for him. He then shrugged and continued his story.

Alright, it was first period and the bell rang. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_b0kVfIDFE&t=0m4s) Lyle was late for English class, bitch! The first lesson of the day was punctuation, but little did Lyle know that he...that they didn't mean just punctuation in sentence structure and grammar, but in punctuation as in arriving to class in time. This was a quiz grade that he could have scored a 100 on, but because everyone was mean to him, because of his fricken' long tail, EVERYBODY HELD HIM BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! Everybody held him back, alright? Everybody. All the clichés held him back. I don't know why, but remember, everybody in this town is a fucking lunatic, so this is what you expect from that shit. Alright, so he made it to first period, but he was about five minutes late because the jocks were holding him back in the bathroom. How do you say? He was in the bathroom. They were holding the door closed, and then they heard the bell rang, and then they ran to class because they knew that getting...that scoring a touchdown wasn't all mattered towards a high school education, cuz'!

"Alright, next topic. I'm reading from the document now. I'm reading from the word document now," said Marvin. He then began to let out the loudest belch the children in the class had ever heard. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LC7edGaqZg&t=0m42s) One of the girls began to scream and cover her ears because the burp was so loud. Marvin continued his story.

Lyle was in class. He made it to class. Lyle was late and the bullies were mean to him but he still made it to class a few minutes late. And then, the teacher said, "Why were you late today, Mr. Johnson?" His name wasn't really Johnson, but he knew where the teacher was coming from.

"And I don't mean come as in cum, that's just nasty. Ladies?" Marvin winked at a one of the little female kittens in the room. She raised an eyebrow at him. She actually knew what he meant, and just shook her head. "Pedo," she muttered to herself. Marvin continued his story.

"Look," said Lyle, "I'm new, so I'm just getting acquainted with the new school. I hope I didn't disrupt your system, Ms. Baxter." Lyle studied his curriculum pretty well, and by curriculum, I mean his schedule. Forgive my drunkenness. I'm a little off today. So, Lyle was studying his curriculum, and then he realized the teacher's name was Baxter. Memorized this, because he wanted to make a good impression on the first day of school, and everyone hates freshman, bitches!

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" yelled Marvin. He felt so alive and numb in his face that he started to lose his senses. He then fell back onto the ground, his back against the wall. All the kids were just in shock. Some were even scared. Marvin then started to puke, but swallowed it back down. "Alright, I'm a little off. No more drinks. I was thinking about taking another shot, but I think I'm there already." "Ya' think?!" yelled a cub of age six. All the children began to laugh. Marvin laughed for a few moments like a hyena, then proceeded to tell his story from the floor. "Alright, look, Miss Lyle. I'm just getting acquainted wit' 'he new schoo' and ab' 'la doo' dah fiddlestick pumpkin bitch hoe nigga' gay guitar fudgestick." He finally snapped out of his little double talk and retried telling the story.

Ms. Baxter then walked up to Lyle and gave him a pat on the shoulder, and then she list...and then she leaned his nose...wait, I'm sorry. Let me try that again. She walked up to Lyle and gave him a pat on the shoulder, and then her nose into his ear and started whispering, "Look, you little shit. If you ever think that I would get mad...well, you're wrong." And then she slapped him on the face, calling him...not calling...causing him to feel as if he had a hernia in his cheek. She slapped him so hard, he felt as if his muscles had torn in his cheek. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFFLeJE48t0) And then she responded after that, "Look, I've got a system that has worked for me for eleven years! So if you think that you're going to change my system, well YOU'RE WROOOOOOOONG!" She then gave him another slap on the face.

"Darn it, I hurt my index finger. Eh, I'm a little drunk," said Marvin. He was picking his nose and seemed to have bent his finger the wrong way. He flicked his hardened piece of mucus from his index finger out at the children, nailing a small, female dog right between her eyes, on the bridge of her nose. She opened her mouth, as if about to scream in horror, and then got up from her chair and started to run away. She then got tripped by one of the hyena boys, and landed right into the ground, breaking her nose. She started to cry and ran off. "Good work, Butch. I hated that slut. Anyways, let's continue the story, bitches." He then nodded to himself and continued the story.

She gave him another slap on the face. "Get with the system," yelled Baxter, the old, mean-spirited rabbit that she was, "and maybe...just maybe...if you behave well enough and you get good enough grades, I'll show you a little favor." She the...uh, she then gave him a wink. He then...but he already knew that she was well into her mid-sixties, so he was--in his heart--very disgusted by the gesture. He nodded in response to show respect. After class, he walked out, and then he found himself being shoved into lockers, but they couldn't close the door because his tail was getting in the way. The football players kept gaining up on him because he was such an easy target with his really long tail. I mean, that was the only thing that separated him from the normal furries--actually, that wasn't the only thing. Everybody in this town is fucking crazy!

"You know what I'm saying, cuz'? This is not a Fresh Prince of Bel-air reference, thank you very much! WOOOOOOOOOOOO! Alright." Marvin then started coughing and gagging, and eventually coughed up a loogie and spat it off to the side, nailing his beloved spittoon. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LNQoApQ4uo) He continued his story.

He walked out of class and was being shoved into lockers by the team...football team members. "Hey penis-tail!" cried one of the football players. They called him penis-tail because they wished their penis was as long as his. The football player continued, "Why do you have such a long tail?" And then Lyle responded, "Well, that's just how I was born. Do we have a problem here?" And then another football player said, "We don't like freaks around these parts." Lyle responded, "Well, that's okay. I know you guys aren't used to having freaks around, and I am a bit of a freak, especially since I have a long tail..." The football players weren't very reasonable and then they just kept shoving him the lockers. They tried to shove him into different lockers, hoping that it would change the outcome of fitting his tail into the locker, but because all the lockers were of the same size, it didn't work. They were just SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTUPID! And then, all of a sudden, a shout was heard. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aXqgoiVb8E&t=1m13s) "Knock it off, nigga'!"

"Cut out the 'nigga'. He didn't say 'nigga'. He said 'Knock it off!'" Marvin said as he looked over to the left, as if talking to his secretary again. Most of the children will still scared and confused about what was happening to Marvin, so they didn't pay much attention to the story. Marvin coughed for a few moments before continuing his story.

"Knock it off," said the voice. It was the principal of the school. To be honest, the ugly principal...the principal was really ugly, but no one said anything because they respected his...AUUTHOOORITAH! They respected his authority. He was ugly and he was a platypus, but he was still a kind-hearted guy. Honestly, Lyle was the only...to be honest, Lyle and the principal of the high school were the only two normal furries, but because the platypus was so fucking ugly, everyone treated him like he was crazy--and that made him kind of crazy. So yeah, Lyle, I guess, was the only normal furry in this city. "Look," said the principal to the football players as they held Lyle against an open locker, "he a student of this school. And now I..."

"This is the principal talking," said Marvin, to clarify the story.

"Look, he's a student of this school, and I won't have anybody who is a student of this school being harassed by a couple of football athletes. So, git!" And with that, the football players backed off Lyle and ran off to their next class. One of them tripped onto the ground, and a bloody tampon fly out from his leather jacket. He then picked it up, licked it for comfort, and continued running off. And then the platypus told poor Lyle, "Look, I know it's your first day of school, bitch, but you gonna get harassed..."

"No, no, no. That's not what he said," coughed Marvin. He then shoved his withered paw into his pants and started grabbing at his junk. "Ah, much better." He continued the story.

The platypus principal told Lyle, "Look, I know it's your first day of school, but...and you're already getting harassed, but you gotta stand up for yourself. You know what I'm sayin'?" And then Lyle pulled himself out of the locker and responded, "I understand where you're coming from, but I can handle my own. My 'oma...my momma said that I don't need...I don't need no one's help but her own." The principal responded, "Look, if you ever need guidance or another coupon for the XXX Club, just let me know, okay?" Lyle responded to the principal, "Okay, principal, thank you." And with that, Lyle went on his way to his next class. And in this...eh, this, and in this next class of Lyle's was math class. In this class, anything seemed to go, as in there were no rules. Since the teacher was half-deaf and half-blind_--_couldn't see half of what was going on...couldn't see half of what was being said.

"He was a BITCH! He was a lying scumbag. Sally, I hate you. Don't...don't add that to the script. Thank you very much, bitch," uttered the highly intoxicated Marvin as he remained seated against the wall at the front of the class. He was speaking to the imaginary secretary again. The children started laughing as he was just acting crazy, and then they decided to have some fun. They got up from their chairs and started playing tag. "Alright, now back on topic," said Marvin. He was too drunk to even notice they were fooling around, and so, he continued his story.