Frail
#1 of Keep a Light
The morning of the day I died was cold, quiet, and grey. The dying breath of winter was winding its way between the trees of my forest, and the bright sun was barely showing over the tops of the trees. It was the sort of day that quieted everything, even down to your own mind. A picture of solitude and silence.
There was a time when I loved those types of days, and on this particular one, I was sitting next to a pond, and staring at myself. The sight disgusted me.
What I saw in the water was a starving shell of the wolf I used to be. My dust-gray fur was mottled and ragged, patches hanging out. I could see my ribs and my dull yellow eyes were sunken with trouble and hunger, and I could barely get them to focus. The worst part of it all was the fact that I couldn't pity myself. There are times in your life when you realize exactly what you've gotten yourself into, and it always comes as a shock. I knew when I saw my face that had brought everything on myself..
Maybe I should explain a little? There isn't much to say. My name is Avram, and I am the son of a legend. His fourth son, to be exact. My father was widely respected in life as a hero and the finest alpha wolf my pack had ever seen. When he and my mother died, the position of dominance fell to my brothers. Two of them killed each other in jealous anger, and the third one left after losing his paw in a fight with a bear. From what I heard of it, he died shortly after, and that left only me, the fourth son, to control what remained of the pack after my brother's feuding.
When I became the alpha male, there was quite a bit of dispute between the pack and I. Some argued that I was too meek, too frail to carry on such a heavy burden. Others protested that I was, in fact, my father's son, and therefore worthy of any title I cared to bestow upon myself. But when it came to the final judgment, the elder wolves only needed to look at my eyes to be absolutely sure of their choice. They were the same eyes I was staring into at that very moment.
Even the little slivers of green around my iris refused to bring me any comfort. They were the same eyes my father had cowed so many would-be challengers with. At least, that's what everyone in the pack told me. My mother used to tell me it was like looking into two pretty pools of light, with little emerald shards poking out. She was a fine wolf- tall and dark furred. She had the kindest voice and the loveliest smile, and she used to tell me that I needed to act braver, that I could be a fine wolf if I would only stand up and be what I was. She said that, of all her sons, I was the one who most resembled my father. No one else ever said that.
But how was I like my father? I wasn't particularly large, or strong. I was nothing like an alpha wolf, though in retrospect, neither was he. He didn't raise his paw. He didn't snap at me. He didn't growl, or raise his voice. He just looked at me and I knew exactly who was in control. I knew who the dominant one was. When I was a puppy, it scared me to look at him
And other days, they could be the most loving eyes in the world. Full of life and love for his wife and sons. Whenever he came home from a big hunt, covered in blood and the stench of death, my brothers and I fought to be the first to press ourselves against his legs, even though we came away with red dripping down our fur. It was the best feeling in the world to have his proud paws on our backs. It was the feeling of absolute security. For a few seconds, we were invincible.
Still, my eyes glared at the figure in the reflection of the pond. If there was any resemblance to my father, it was gone now. I could barely pass for beta; my frame was thin, and lanky, my ribs sticking out from starvation. Compared to the others I was a little bit of a runt. Compared with my brothers, I was a few inches shorter, with slightly less broadened shoulders. I was the weakest of them, and had they been alive at the time, I don't know what I would be. Mateless, maybe. Barely a hunter. Even my beta and best friend, Fyedka was taller and stronger than me.
That would have bothered any other alpha, but Fyedka was a dear friend of mine. We had grown up together, and were very close. Whenever I was criticized by the other wolves, Fyedka would defend me. Whenever I felt isolated or weak, Fyedka would comfort me. It was good to have a friend like that, especially with my relationship with the rest of the pack. It sometimes felt like he was the only thing keeping me from being ousted from the rest of the wolves all together. I sighed and rubbed my aching head. I needed to clear my thoughts for a minute.
"Avram!" A voice called behind me. I turned around and saw the spitting image of Fyedka, but significantly smaller and thinner. It was Sasha, Fyedka's son.
I liked Sasha. He was barely more than a puppy, but he had his father's jet black fur and perky ears. His eyes shone with warmth, even though hunger had dulled them significantly. Like me, his ribs jutted out from his fur like a washboard, and his skin hung dangerously loose on his bones. Seeing his dying body coupled with his smiling face and wagging tail... It was like looking into the sun. It hurt my eyes.
Though Fyedka was a good father, Sasha's poor mother had died giving birth to him. Whenever he had a problem he swore his dad couldn't help with, Sasha would turn to me for guidance, and I happily gave it. Though he hadn't been alive for very long, Sasha was the closest thing I had to a son.
I turned away and answered. "Good morning, Sasha. It's awfully early for you to be up."
"I know. I just wanted to see you before you and dad went-- Avram? What happened to your face?"
I touched my muzzle where three long cut marks ran from my nose to the ear. "I, ah... I got into a bit of a fight."
His features darkened and a frown crossed his face. "Was it with a coyote?"
I shook my head.
"A deer, then? Did you fight another wolf?"
Again I shook my head. "No, nothing serious. It wasn't even really a fight. Don't worry about it.*
Sasha reached up and touched my face, tracing along the cuts. "Does it hurt?"
I smiled at him, and rubbed his furry black ears. "No, they're ok now." He smiled at me and I winced. Sasha's smiles were heartbreakers.
"That's good then. I just wanted to say hello before you and dad go off to the hunt. You're gonna come back with something this time, right?"
I nodded. It had been a long time since I had fed my pack. It was time I owned up to my title. "Yes, don't worry. When we get back, you'll eat better than me. I promise." Sasha grinned and wrapped his arms around my waist, burying his head in the fur on my side.
"Thanks, Avram. I know you can do it." With that, he turned tail and ran up the path leading away from the pond. I sighed to myself and said a silent prayer. I prayed that I would be able to keep my promise. I deserved a lot of things, but Sasha's disappointed face wasn't one of them.
I stretched and dipped one of my paws in the cold pond water. Bathing always helped me relax, and it was an important ritual that I used before every hunt to keep my nerves in their place. Ripples shot across the mirror like surface of the pond as I made my way slowly inward, the water seeping under my fur and chilling my body to the bones. It was hard to do, but I kept at it, and soon I was up to my chest in the water. Spring couldn't come soon enough. I dunked my head in the water and scraped some of the dirt off with my paws. It felt so good to be clean like this. It was one of my few pleasures in life.
"Avram!" This time, the voice was much lower and more mature. It could belong to no other than Fyedka, my beta wolf. I turned around.
"Good morning." I waved my paw and smiled at him. Fyedka always cheered me up when I was in a bad mood. I began moving out of the pond.
"Sasha said you were here. You're up pretty early again. Especially on the day of the hunt." Fyedka was a fierce looking wolf with the heart of a lamb. His frame was huge and broad, and when he ate well, his strength was unrivaled throughout the forest. There was even a rumor that he had once taken down a wild bear with nothing but his teeth and claws, but I knew that had to be false. Fyedka had basically told me himself. Still, he was as strong and proud as any wolf, and I was glad to have him by my side. Especially when it counted the most.
"What can I say?" I climbed out of the water and shook myself off. Fyedka looked away shyly. "It helps me focus."
"Do what you can." He smiled warmly at me as he looked up, but his face turned into a serious frown, and I wondered what he was staring at. "Where did you get that?"
I touched the scratches on my muzzle. "That was... Rifka."
"You had another fight."
"Sort of..."
"What did you do wrong now?"
My ears flattened in shame. Were it anyone else, I wouldn't have said another word. But Fyedka was my friend. I knew he would keep my words secret. Even when we were puppies, and I was bullied for being a runt (though in truth, I'm only an average size. What comes from being the runt of an alpha litter?), Fyedka would stand up for me. Like a knight in shining black fur. "It was... while we were mating."
Fyedka's face almost broke out into a grin, but he kept his control. He knew how hard it was for me to talk about Rifka.
I continued. "I, ah... She wants children, you see. We've been mating every day for a few months now." I shook my head. "I've never lasted for more than a few minutes."
"And she clawed you. For that?"
"It's not just that. She calls me things. Weak. Small." I sat down on the rock and put my head on my paw. "She tells me I screw like a puppy."
I could tell he wanted to laugh, but Fyedka kept a straight face.
"Come on now. Aren't you your father's son?" He put a paw on my shoulderand knelt to look directly into my eyes. To anyone else, it would have been a challenge. "You have legendary blood in you, Avram. You just... you haven't grown into it, yet. Later today, during the hunt, we'll bring home a huge deer. I'll tell everyone how you tore its throat open yourself." He gave me a weak smile. "You'll feel better with a little blood on your teeth. I can't make Rifka respect you. But I know you're worth respecting."
I nodded my head silently. "Yeah. Maybe I will feel better. Thanks, Fyedka."
"It's what I'm here for, right?" With that, he stood up and headed off down the same path that Sasha had left on earlier. "I'm off to get myself ready. See you then, Avram!" Fyedka called.
I looked at myself once more in the mirror reflection of the pond. That was better. Everything would be put right after the hunt. Everything would be good again. I knew it.
I bent low to the ground and fingered a small pebble in my paw. I tossed it in and ripples sped across the mirror's surface. Looking at myself in a pond wasn't making me feel any better, so I stood up and left, my paws making a soft crunching sound in the snow as they followed two other sets of wolf tracks up the hill towards the cave. It would do me some good to get warmed up in the heat of the campfire.
The caves were a lucky find, once again at the footpaws of my father. The pack used to tell stories of how they were starving and frozen in the wilderness when one wolf stood tall and led them to this sanctuary. To the eldest of our pack, the caves were almost sacred, and I never heard the end of them, squawking and chirping like old birds, always on about their great alpha, my father. The spoke like he was Moses. Like he was Christ. Like he was God. It made me sick to my stomach, just thinking about it. I found a rock and seated myself, watching the day pass. Minutes crawled by. An hour. And then I heard a voice.
"Runt!" It called. My gut turned again, and I groaned. Ivan. I was not a friend of Ivan's. "Get up. Are you leading this hunt or not?"
I stood up. "Yes, Ivan. I'm coming." I turned and faced not one, but two wolves. The male with the dark brown fur and grey eyes was tapping his footpaw impatiently and crossing his arms across his chest. He wore an arrogant smirk that could only belong to one wolf in the pack.
It was Ivan, all right. His voice was deep, and his frame was strong. To be exact, he was only a little less of a wolf than Fyedka, even though he would never admit it.
Standing next to him was the one female in the pack besides Rifka who could have been my wife. Shaindel was tall and vicious. She was silent, and stood with her furry arms crossed over her chest, the grey and black in her coat stark against the pure white snow. Her tail twitched eagerly, and I knew she was looking forward to bringing down prey alongside her husband. Her head turned and she gave him a small smile, which he returned.
"You aren't gonna fuck it up again, are you, Runt? God knows you do your dad proud enough all ready." Shaindel stepped in front of him and put her paw on his chest. Looking back at me over her shoulder.
"Shhh, now. You wouldn't want to hurt the Runt's feelings, would you,
Ivan?" She grinned at me, and I could feel my ears flatten. "You know how sensitive he is. You know what I saw him doing last full moon?"
Oh Lord, I thought..
"You should have seen him. He was down at the pond, watching his proud beta." Shaindel licked her lips and shoved herself up against Ivan, who looked at me with a proud glint in his eye. "Watching him wash himself, stroke the dirt out of the matted fur that was pressed so TIGHT against his hard flesh." She giggled and Ivan pushed her away,still staring at me. "It was so sweet. You should have seen it."
"Is that true, Runt? Got a little thing for Fyedka?" Ivan stepped over to me, and before I could backpedal enough, I was pinned against a tree. "Remind me why we made a little tail raiser like you the alpha of our pack, huh?" He flicked my nose with one claw, and I cringed, mytail tucking itself between my legs. "Look. You got a little something on your muzzle, puppy."
"Enough." My heart sank. Rifka. "Avram knows better than that, don't you?"
Rifka wasn't tall, and she wasn't strong. But she was absolutely vicious in everything she did, and that included hunting and mating. Her snow-white coat was a testament to her philosophy that everything must be pure and right. If it wasn't the way Rifka thought it should be, it got its throat ripped out. That's what she loved the most. Ripping out throats.
She sauntered up to Ivan and pressed him lightly on the shoulder. He drew back as if her claws were poisoned. "He knows he's my bitch. No one else's. He knows what happens. Don't you, Avie?" Rifka drew her claws along my face, and I shuddered violently.
"Jesus, Rifka. You did that to him?" It was the first time I had seen Shaindel in absolute shock. "Why?"
Rifka turned and looked at her. She didn't move otherwise, she just... looked. "Are you sure you want to know?"
Shaindel to her credit, would not be put in her place so easy. "Just what did he do?"
"He bothered me with too many questions." That was a lie, of course.
She said it to suit her needs, but it saved me the embarrassment of having my secret shames revealed to any wolf other than Rifka and Fyedka.
Shaindel nodded and crossed her arms. She understood perfectly well how Rifka dealt with anything insubordinate.
"Anyway, Avie, honey." Rifka grinned toothily down at me. A small whimper escaped my lips, but no one appeared to have heard it. "It's about time we went on this hunt of ours. Don't you think?"
"By all means. Let's go. I'm sure you can't wait to get some bone between your teeth, Rifka, but until then, leave the Alpha alone. He's got a job to do."
Ah, Fyedka. He always came when I needed him to. If not for him, the other wolves would have stabbed me in the back long ago.
"You know he'll never learn if you keep showing up like this?" Rifka had some small respect for Fyedka. It was strange, and I never understood why.
"He doesn't need to learn anything. He just needs to do his job."
Fyedka looked at me. "Avram, you saw some blood on the snow on your way up to the caves, right?" I leaned against the tree and rubbed my forehead with one paw. I had not. "It smells a little fresh. We might get lucky and catch up to them if we head out now. Are you ready to go?"
"He doesn't even know what his job is. We're starving Fyedka. You are, too, am I right?" Fyedka didn't even turn to look at her.
"Well?" He asked me.
"You know what packs do to wolves that can't do their job. He needs to know his place." Rifka was starting to snarl.
I shook my head. "We'll follow them, I guess. I don't think we can do anything else."
Rifka and Fyedka stood silent, and Shaindel and Ivan looked at each other. I stood up and dusted my fur off. There was a sort of tension in the air. I really should have known exactly what would happen to me if I failed. To screw this up... Well, that's getting ahead of myself.
We walked for a long time, one of us stooping low to the ground every now and again, sniffing the snow and looking at trees, plants, and a small trail of blood. Fyedka was right on the mark, and I was feeling better about how my life was going. The tracks belonged to a small herd, three bucks and a doe. It wasn't mating season for them, but for whatever reason, one of the bucks was bleeding. Bleeding was good. Bleeding made the prey weak. Weak prey meant success. Food for my pack. It would, if nothing else, buy me a bit of room to squirm around in. I felt sure we would come back home with plenty of meat on our paws, but something stuck in the back of my mind. The air was so cold that day. I shivered a lot as we tracked the herd down.
It took almost a full day, but we found them. The herd was taking care of its injured member carefully, and it wasn't moving too fast. In the back of my mind, I wondered if Fyedka had really been watching them for days, but I cleared my mind and sat in the snow, thinking of how exactly to handle the situation.
"Well? What's it gonna be, dog?"
"Quiet, Ivan. I'm trying to think here." I growled lowly at him. I didn't need any distractions here.
"Did the puppy grow some balls all of a sudden?" He reached down and grabbed my muzzle, forcing me to look into my eyes. "Your dad would have had one of them on the ground by now, bleeding and shivering. He would have eaten by now. WE would have eaten by now. I mean it when I say, if you don't give us a plan right now, I'm going after one of them myself."
"Why don't you?" I stood up, which was very unlike me. "You find the one that's dying, out there. You kill it. You bring it down, all by yourself, and you know what? You can eat it first. You can be the fucking alpha wolf. Would you like that?"
Fyedka stared at me in shock, and Ivan's eyebrows rose in surprise. Immediately I felt my ears press against my head, and my tail start to tuck. What I had just uttered was beyond stupidity. It was nigh suicide. No matter how bad your situation, as a wolf, you never, -ever- gamble with your position. Dominance can only be taken. That was the will of nature.
Rifka said nothing, though she stared at me with a sort of blank look.
And Shaindel? Shaindel... smiled. I didn't like that smile at all.
"... Fine." Was all he said, and he stepped behind a tree, studying the herd. They were mostly bucks, their huge antlers shining in the dim light provided by the sun, plagued by clouds as it was. A sudden fear that Ivan would succeed filled me, and I felt like backing out. Even if it made me a coward, I shouldn't have bargained off my rank.
Even if I didn't want it, it wasn't mine to give. Too late.
Fyedka and I watched as Ivan crept close to the herd, his wiry frame pressing itself against trees as he worked his way around and around, in a slow, stealthy spiral toward the injured buck, who was leaning on a tree. His bleeding had stopped, but he smelled like blood and death. It was enough for anyone with a nose to consider him prey. It made me wonder why the herd hadn't long since abandoned him. Slowly and deliberately, Ivan's form shrank behind his final tree. In an instant of clarity the sun came out, shining through a hole in the clouds, and I shivered in anticipation.
"Avram..." Fyedka said. I looked at him, but he looked away, at the snow on the ground.
Ivan stepped behind the tree, flinging himself between the wounded buck and the rest of the pack, screeching some unholy noise, laughing and howling and taking swipes at the deer as they bolted, dashing out of the forest like leaves on the wind. I watched the buck's eyes open wide as he realized he'd been singled out. It ran one way, but Ivan was quick and stepped in front of it, driving it toward a wall of trees and bushes. There was a loud crack as the buck whipped around, lowering his head and knocking against Ivan. It sent him flying, and I heard Shaindel gasp in surprise as her mate was thrown against a tree.
The buck charged, brushing past Ivan and running straight towards Fyedka and I. We moved behind the tree, and I heard Ivan yelp. When I checked, he was on the back of the deer, clawing and biting at the rough flesh. Blood laced his smile as he hopped off, and the buck limped, clearly weakened. I saw a huge chunk of skin and bloody muscled raked off of it's flank, and I knew Ivan had it. I could feel my place as Alpha slipping away.
Ivan stepped low, moving out of the way of a half hearted antler-stab. The buck bellowed in pain and tried desperately to keep Ivan's teeth and claws at bay. The wolf sank its jaws into the buck's shoulder, and I saw a fine red mist coat the fur of both animals as Ivan drew back. For a quick second, they both faced each other, and the forest was quiet. Nature had decided. The buck was going to die.
"Ivan!" I called out. Ivan turned to me, and his eyes went wide as an antler tine shoved its way through his chest. There was a sickening crunch as his body was lifted into the air, and flung against a tree. His spine snapped like a twig, and his head had twisted completely the wrong way.
The buck snorted and stomped his lifeless form, cutting his stomach wide open and forcing blood to seep out his nose and ears. The buck destroyed him, and ravaged his body. I couldn't bring myself to look, and my stomach did violent turns in my body. My mind swam and my hopes sank. This was worse than losing my position as Alpha. It was worse than being forced out of the pack, or coming home without food. Without meaning... I had killed my own wolf.
I looked at Fyedka who was staring at me in disbelief, next to Rifka, who shared his expression. I felt my throat squeeze tight, and I dropped to my knees. My fur felt strangely warm, and I realized I had vomited into my paws.
I stayed on my knees for a long time. I saw Shaindel, kneeling at the feet of Ivan, staring wordlessly at his corpse, even as the prey finally lost its strength and fell to the ground beside her. I saw Rifka walk toward me, her claw raised. I saw Fyedka put his paws on her shoulder, begging her to stop. He craned his neck to look at me, and what I saw then froze me like a personal winter. The look of confusion on his face... it was like I had struck Fyedka personally. Suddenly I felt utterly responsible again, for every bad thing that had ever happened to me since my father's passing. And I felt Ivan's blame too. Everything that had happened to Ivan was my fault. At the time, I didn't know how irrational I was thinking, but I tried to stand, and ended up emptying my stomach onto the snow again.
I stumbled over to Shaindel and reached out my paw, but she batted it away, rearing up like a bull at her full height. Her muzzle mouthed some words that I didn't fully understand. "... What you did to him... Stupid pride... Trying to kill him?" That's what I thought I heard anyway. The sound of my own thinking was too loud.
It stayed like that the entire walk back. I stood on the razor edge of silence, and it was painful. But nothing I could say would bring Ivan back, would it. Ivan had bullied me, pushed me around, but I never wished death on him, did I? Did I? Fyedka, Rifka and I moved the buck, but Shaindel carried the broken body of her lover alone, straying far from the rest of her pack mates. It was plain to see that whatever Ivan had done to me, he meant everything to poor Shaindel. She had always loved him unconditionally, and for a fleeting second, she reminded me of my own mother.
We returned to the cave, and we ate in silence. The entire pack ate. Sasha, Fyedka, and even Shaindel. Starvation puts a lot of things aside, and that night, no one mourned. Except for me. Traditionally, I always ate first. It was my right as the alpha male. But every time my muzzle drew close to the flesh, I smelled Ivan, and backed away. Eventually, I tore off a small piece and left the main chamber to be alone in my sleeping quarters.
I sat for a long time, listening to myself breathing in the dark. I asked myself a lot of questions that night. Why did I call out? Was my misery linked to my sudden courageous standing-up to Ivan, or was I merely destined to live my life as a submissive coward runt? Would I be better off handing my dominance to someone who would make use of it? Why was I so fucking useless? It occurred to me that I had never, not once, done anything to earn anything connected with being an alpha wolf. I was small, submissive... frail. Weak. It made me sick, but I was slowly realizing that I was an omega wolf. All my life, I had, by some huge streak of luck, been able to lie to an entire pack of wolves. Who was I trying to fool?
My ears perked as I heard two paws pad into my den. I didn't even turn around. "Look, I'm tired right now. Whatever it is, can't you just leave it until--"
I never got the chance to finish that sentence, because a strong paw grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and slammed me muzzle-first into the wall. A flash of white, the taste of blood, and I fell into black.
Suddenly, everything was hot. I could hear voices chanting in the darkness, and my face was uncomfortably warm. I tried to move my arms, but they felt like two heavy pieces of rope. I moaned and shook my head, and tried to rise to my knees.
"No." Said a voice. It was anxious. It was powerful. It frightened me to my core. The voices around me stopped, and I suddenly felt like I was being watched by a thousand eyes at once. My lungs tightened in my chest, and I found it suddenly hard to breathe.
"Avram." Was that... Rifka, behind me? No, the voice had come from somewhere else. The wolf behind me grunted.
My blood ran cold, and I stopped struggling. That rough noise sounded horribly, horribly familiar. But my confused mind refused to put a name or a face with it. I felt a paw on my back, and had a fleeting thought that my own father was kneeling over my hapless body. A muzzle pressed itself against my ear. I felt a gentle, affectionate lick, and immediately I felt fire come back into my limbs.
"What!?" I yelled into the darkness gathering at the edge of my vision. I could see paws and fur, but no faces. I was surrounded by a pack without faces. My nerves ran wild, and I shivered violently, struggling like a beached fish or a dying snake. Every instinct I had screamed at me to stay alive and run, but the paws on my arms and legs gripped harder and pinned me with even greater force. The paw on my back petted me reassuringly, and I heart a quiet "Let him go." from the voice behind me.
The paws released me, and I tried to stand, but the paw on my back pressed my chest down against the stone. I struggled wildly, the scent and light from the fire choking my burning throat and blinding my aching eyes. The paw became forceful, grabbing the scruff of my neck and forcing my head back, My voice groaned in discomfort as my thighs were parted by another paw and forced to stay apart by two furry thighs. The paw pulled on my tail, and jerked flat against my back. I felt a sudden stab of shame bite into my as the cool cavern air passed over my exposed tail hole.
Someone yanked my body into an uncomfortable position, forcing my neck against the ground, and my rump straight up into the air. I could feel a warm, furry sheath throbbing against my tail hole, and I cringed in realization that I wasn't going to slip out and save myself. I might not even survive. "Please! Wait! Don't-- you don't have to do this!" My voice was hoarse and panicked, like a sharp rock being grated against a cavern wall. "Please, just-- I'll leave! I'll leave right now, and I'll say I'm sorry and never... Just don't do this! Don't do this to me!" Hot tears trickled down my muzzle as my frail body did what it could to struggle in vain attempts to save itself. Pathetic
They didn't listen. I felt the muzzle at my ear again, and it gave an almost apologetic lick. The paw yanked my tail, and I yelped in pain as a pointed claw drew a slow circle around my tail hole. Why was this taking so long? I could feel my muscles clench in reaction. I could feel the wolf behind me smiling again. rubbing himself in anticipation. He murred softly and pushed me down hard. I tried to turn my head, but someone grabbed my muzzle and held me still. Their grip was like iron.
I could feel the soft sheath moving up and down on my rump, stroking itself on my tail hole. I could feel it twitch and throb, and I felt a hot pressure soon enough. I didn't need to turn around to guess exactly what it was. My ears flattened in shame, and I muttered sweet miserable prayers into the paw clamping my muzzle shut. I closed my eyes and felt two hot teardrops fall to the ground.
With a sharp grunt, pain lanced through me. The wolf behind rocked back and shoved with all his might, driving his thickness as far as it would reach. My eyes saw a flash of white, and I couldn't even suppress an ashamed whimper, even through the paw on my muzzle. My whole body quivered in humiliation, and I struggled violently to move. But the paws wouldn't let me leave. My flattened ears picked up the sound of playful panting, and I immediately thought of Sasha.
The wolf drew out and shoved in again, the dry flesh scraping against my virgin tail hole, burning me like fire every time he moved. I could feel the meat twitching and throbbing inside of me, and I yelped. Immediately I felt a paw on the back of my head. It pulled me up high, high enough for my vision to make out the outline of a snow-white muzzle. It was grinning with utter joy as the paw shoved my head back down. I saw a burst of white light as it slammed my muzzle into the floor, Blood seeped out of my nose and mouth, and I realized I had cut my tongue. I whimpered and shouted muffled pleas of mercy into the floor. I opened my eyes long enough to see that one of my fangs was laying in the dust.
It didn't occupy my thoughts for anything longer than a few seconds, as the wolf's thrusting started in earnest. He worked his hips with a violent rhythm, moaning to himself as he screwed my quivering frame, holding me down against the floor and the fire. "Ah, fuck..." I heard him moan to himself, and I felt a warm slickness coat my passage, and drip down my thighs. For a small moment, I hoped that he had relieved himself. I prayed that he would let me walk out, tail tucked between my legs, head down. Like a good omega. And then I smelled the scent of blood. A lot of blood. My own blood.
I heard another voice gasp, and the wolves surrounding me began to speak to themselves, some shocked, some pleased, some taking obvious pleasure in my pain. I groaned weakly, the will to fight rapidly draining out of me. The paw on my muzzle yanked my head up, and forced me to look into the eyes of my mate.
"I always said you screw like a puppy." Rifka smiled and pressed her muzzle against mine, sucking gently on my tongue. I squirmed and tried to move out of it, but her grip on my muzzle was too strong. Her claws dug into my skin, and she spat my own blood back onto my face. "Worthless."
The pack laughed, and my ears reddened. My rapist paused for a second, but when he began again, I could feel his knot swelling, and I braced myself, the blood on my face beginning to drip into my eyes. His lupine cock pounded into me, stretching my tail hole to the limit and beyond, the widening knot slipping in and out with a lewd sucking noise. I yelped slightly with each thrust, with my muzzle free to utter its whimpers and whines freely.
With loud howl of pleasure, the wolf rammed himself into me, forcing his full-sized knot inside without ceremony. Rope after rope of hot warmth filled me, and I could smell it all. I had been marked by another male. I shivered in utter defeat. My dominance had been ripped from me, and to be forced by another male... I ashamedly fell limp on the ground, and I felt a pulling. The wolf jerked his knot out of me, and I gave a pained yelp as a final bolt of fire ran through me.
The wolf sank forward, and I could feel him smiling to himself, satisfied with his lust and dominance over me. He owned me now, every inch of me. I was his bitch for life. It was the only possible meaning for being taken by another male that I could think of. A hot rage welled up inside of me, and I groaned, utterly incapable of helping myself. I tried to stand on my knees.
"Here." A voice said, and the wolf put his paw on my shoulder. My mind was confused. What was he doing? Something seemed very... incorrect about his tone. I wasn't thinking right. I turned my head to look at the paw.
It was black.
Midnight black.
I wasn't surprised, oddly. Every inch of my body except for my brain had known. Why not Fyedka? My white-hot anger took form. I stood, my used and quivering body still leaking seed from my tail hole. My ears perked up, and my paws balled into fists.
"What... what was..." My voice was hoarse, and I took a step, almost collapsing to the floor. Fyedka looked almost despaired, but then his expression changed, as if he had been merely forgotten the last few minutes. He growled at me and raised a single claw.
"This is your place, Avram. Rifka was right. You deserved to learn it long ago." I looked down at his waist, and his thick member, covered in blood and sperm. It made me sick, and I fought to keep from vomiting. It was getting hard for me to stand, my vision was swimming.
"My place? Fyedka, what did you do to me??" I coughed, and blood from my mouth spattered on the ground, and I began to feel faint.
The next few moments, I can barely remember. They happened so fast, and my mind was drowning in a sea of horror and hatred. I felt betrayal and shame, and I was sick at the sight of the gore. Fyedka stepped forward, and said something to me. Whatever he said, I will never know, because immediately, I swung at him, clawing him lightly on the muzzle. I'm not even sure I drew blood. But in the very instant I moved to strike him, Fyedka threw up his arms, shoving me
backwards. I could see his eyes open up in terror.
I could smell smoke, and I felt burning, but it felt strangely... distant. It lasted only a few seconds, and for the second time that day, I fell into darkness.