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"Surprise, butt-munch!"

"Wha-..." SniperSpartan had hardly enough time to react when the hardened butt of an M7S submachine gun slammed into the side of his head. He was launched clean out of his seat and thrown into the wall right beside his desk.

Blinking away his daze, the writer found himself looking up at a figure towering over him. The ODST was in full armour, standing tall and proud with a silver glint in his visor. His trusted SMG was gripped in one hand and his awesomeness was so vibrant it formed in an angelic aura all around him.

It was enough to make the entire house explode...

The Reader just watched in horror as SniperSpartan's house burned to the ground. It seemed there were no survivors... until a figure rose from the rubble. Clad from head to toe in armour, Sawyer strode out of the fire, walked right up to the Reader and grabbed two handfuls of his/her shirt, pulling him/her close.

"Guess what?" the protagonist of Halo: FUBAR yelled at the top of his lungs. "I'm back baby!"

Told 'ya this story'd be the death of me.

Halo: FUBAR

Chapter 08

[Ladies love armour plating]

> 2552, Olduvai, The Inner Colonies, Mission Time: 22 Hours.

The transit lounge seemed pointless. It was just like a bland tram station with a single glass panelled carriage that ran on a single track connecting the mid-section of the ship with the command centre, at the time embedded into the foundations of Olduvai. An arbitrary express route to the command centre. It felt like dramatic convenience.

The chamber was empty as we entered, but the marines still spread out to secure the area. Better to be safe than sorry.

"Cosy." I mumbled with a cocked eyebrow as I reached the edge of the platform and looked down the tracks. They angled downward into a pitch black tunnel beyond. A few hundred metres into the darkness I knew the command centre and the UNSC Cuddles' AI was waiting for us. "Well, let's get this shit done." I glanced over my shoulder. "Anybody got rope?"

All the marines held up their climbing gear, gear that seemed to have appeared out of no-fucking-where since they didn't have it ten seconds ago.

I rolled my eyes. "Of course you do. Why am I not surprised?"

"Hook up marines!" Token ordered pointing down at the tracks. "Two lines. I want two scouts ready to go down first as soon as the lines are up!"

"Sir!" one of the marines nodded before leading his fellows over the edge of the platform and into the tram-tracks.

The men huddled together around one of the 'sleepers' and started knotting up cables and attaching carabineers.

"C'mon you sissies! Get it done!" Token barked down at the men as I kept watch. "My God, you call yourselves marines? My momma can do this shit faster than you! You're a disgrace!"

The marine suddenly stopped working. They all rose from their crouched positions and looked to the sergeant major.

"That hurts our feelings." One of the marines whined.

I rolled my eyes. Now he's done it. I thought.

"Feelings!?" Token yelled, his voice echoing through the chamber. "You are marines! You feel what I tell you to feel!"

That was when I heard something. A metallic thud from one of the nearby bulkheads. The doorway was sealed up tight, but still. That thud sounded like something I ought to have been worried about. Let's face it, with everything that had happened to me thus far on Olduvai a little caution was prudent.

"Our union said that..." a marine started in a huff.

"Next person to say the word 'union,' I'll let a brute rape you up the ass!" Token bellowed.

'Thud!'

I cleared my throat to get their attention. "Uh... guys."

"That kind of talk has serious repercussions on our self-esteem, sarge!"

"Look at me! This is my 'giving a shit' face!"

'Thud!'

"Guys!?"

"You talk about feelings and rainbows! You're not marines! You're GIRLS! Little prancey princesses!"

'THUD!'

"Guys!"

"You never just listen to the wants of your men, sarge."

"You have wants now? Why, back in my day the only thing we'd want was the opportunity to invade our enemy's homeland, enslave their children, rape their women and feast upon the entrails of their men!"

"That is a horrible remark and we simply will not stand for it, sergeant major."

Token gaped, an angry vein pulsing on his forehead.

"Guys, if you care to stow the bullsh-..." I was stopped by a gut-churning sound.

'CRACK!'

Steel screeched. Locks ground apart and the doorway ahead was pried slowly open. Only a crack at first, but it was enough to give us a view of two hulking shadows on the other side of the bulkhead. And then we heard the sound. That familiar, horrible sound. That rumble, a thousand tiny voice-boxes vibrating in terrifying synchronicity to deliver a thunderous noise that shook our chest-cavities and gripped our hearts with terror.

"Fuck!" was all I could utter as the marines climbed out of the tram tracks to get a better look.

The end of a sleek, armoured shield slid through the gap in the doorway before it began to twist and turn, prying the bulkhead slowly apart.

"HUNTERS!" Token yelled signalling his men to take up defensive positions around the bulkhead. "Sawyer, hook up those rappelling lines. We may need to bail quickly if we can't hold them!"

I nodded, rolling over and sliding down into the tracks. As the marines formed overlaying arcs of fire all around the twisted bulkhead being torn apart by a hunter pair, I dropped to my knees and clipped my SMG to the drop-leg magnetic holster on my thigh. I worked my hands over the spools of wire, only knowing roughly what I was doing. It had been so long since the instructors at boot-camp had taught me to knot up rappelling lines properly. It had been even longer since the scouts...

Yes, I was a fucking scout in my younger days. What of it?

I managed to wrap two lines around the sleepers at the base of the tram and threw the coils of rope down into the dark tunnel beyond.

"Cables hooked!" I exclaimed happily as I climbed to my feet and peeked over the edge of the platform. "We can leave now!"

It was only when I was back on my feet and looking at my fellows that I realised it was too late for leaving... far too late.

Two blurs of cyan stormed the room. A cacophony of noisy gunfire lit up, choking the air with soot and fire. My eyes fluttered, ignorant of my visor polarisation as I ducked down. The attackers were fast, smaller than the average hunter, leaner, and much-much more agile. They seemed to lack the arm-mounted fuel-rod launchers, instead sporting arms with slender, armoured triplet digits. I made out the exposed sections of eel-colony within, vibrant orange patches in the chinks of the armour.

But the details were off as they moved into the marines with frightful speed, sparks igniting from their armoured husks. Shields swung this way. Arms swung the other. I cowered seeing the men thrown from side to side, broken and limp like bloodied rag-dolls.

"Oh, shit." I squeaked, the top of my helmet peeking over the edge of the platform.

Token was on his feet, running towards me, waving his arms wildly!

"Move, Sawyer!" he bellowed. "Get the hell out of..." he was cut off by an impact in the small of his back.

The force of the shield's edge threw him into a bloody spiral before he tumbled into the tracks behind me. A moment later he slid down into the dark tunnel and disappeared. I swallowed a mouthful of acidic bile down.

The attackers straightened up from their combat stance, shaking out their quills and resting the tips of their armoured shields by their boots. Now the nimble little minxes were holding still I got a good look.

I think it should go on record at this stage, that if I ever sell this mission recording I might make millions in the porn industry.

I was staring not at hunters, but a pair of huntresses.

There were about twelve individual things wrong with that. One of which was the basic fact hunters were eel-colonies living in harmony within the tank-like shell, given shape by the armour the Covenant granted them. For all intents and purposes, the eel-colonies were typically sex-less.

Regardless of what they might have been, these two looked like women.

Their bipedal forms were made up of solid, sleek sections of armour jointed by open chinks revealing the eels writhing and pulsing within. The bust section, for some strange reason, represented that of a human woman's bust, large rounded breasts of armour with a low-cut V-shape at the collar revealing some eely cleavage. The abdomen were left completely exposed until the panty-like crotch-plate to which the thigh armour was attached. A quad of long razor-edged quills attached to their shoulder blades, and their heads were slim and flat, like that of a typical hunter.

The huntresses evens ported slim arms, each ending in three delicate looking digits with talons at the end and shields mounted to their left gauntlets. Their legs were long and sleek, ending in point-toed boots and - again very oddly - high heels.

If anyone deserved to be called a tank-girl, it was those two armoured ladies.

I blinked with confusion before uttering a particularly loud: "WHAT THE FUCK!"

Their heads swivelled and both sexy alien tank-infantry locked their eyeless gazes directly on me.

"Aw, nuts." I sighed realising I'd given myself away.

Their mighty voices harmonised with each other as they smoke to each other. Every eel within their solid shells shook in synchronicity to produce voices with enough bass to shake my whole body.

"The last one called him Sawyer, Treli." One of them rumbled.

"The same Sawyer Nezz's hive spoke of, Truli?" The other, Truli, answered.

Treli and Truli. Identical twins with similar names. How quaint.

"Indeed he matches the description."

"We must have him." The one I assumed was Treli said in what sounded like a husky tone. It was hard to tell at first, but I came to a very slow realisation that if she had a face, she would have been smiling mischievously.

That tore it. They knew I was there and they were about to have their way with me. Just like every other female in the Covenant's Vipress fleet.

I looked into the dark tunnel leading to the command centre. I could just run. But there was nothing to stop the huntresses from following me. Then I'd be trapped in a small, enclosed space with two sexy armour-clad worm-colonies able to have their way with me anyway before crushing my skull with a single lazy flex of their unstoppable combined power.

I didn't have a choice. I had to deal with them first, there and then. At least they had uneven footing on the slanted tram platform. I had space to manoeuvre. The real question was; was I good enough to take down two armoured monstrosities solo?

I sighed, climbing onto the platform. My hands were clenched into fists and my body was prepared for the rape to come. We all know what is coming next. I'll fight the monsters, they'll overpower me, I'll be raped, something will happen and I'll get free. We'll fight again, this time I'll win and 'slam-bam-thank-you-ma'am' we all get on with our lives.

My entire life was like painting by the fucking numbers.

Just to mix things up, we were at least having something of a Mexican stand-off. Pity I wasn't Mexican, then maybe I would have actually stood a chance then.

My hand snatched up my pistol and yanked it from the holster. I managed to twist, aiming the weapon one handed at arm's length before squeezing off a blistering trio of HE rounds.

Each cracked against Truli's shield as she darted closer at the same time. Her shield swung around and 'twacked' the pistol out of my hand, sending the weapon skidding off into a shadowy corner.

Recoiling with a step back and shaking the soreness out of my hand, I managed to find my SMG and draw it next. Again I held the weapon out to fire...

This time I hardly managed to even disengage the safety when Truli's shield traced back through the air and hit the back of my hand this time. Crying out, I watched my last firearm skitter across the platform and in through the open doors of the tram almost a dozen metres away.

Truli closed in even faster, her sister just watching idly. There was no need for both of them to attack. One of them alone was quite obviously enough to deal with me, a supposed badass ODST.

If my drill instructors found out they'd perform Seppuku... despite not even being Japanese... and they'd do it with a spoon because they'd feel the need to punish themselves even more.

Her body collided with mine and I wheezed feeling the air forced from my lungs. It must have looked ridiculous, a sexy walking tank tackling a comparatively diminutive young man. Regardless, I felt the ground slam against my back and the weight of a huntress perched lightly like a pixie atop me, straddling my hips like she was about to crush my pelvis under her.

The fight was over before it even started.

So yeah. That was a greater fail than usual... there I lay, after not even being able to hold my own for ten seconds, pinned down underneath a huntress without a weapon, and the bitch purring huskily as she explored my armoured shell. Surprise-surprise...

Wait... exploring my armoured shell? That was different, I thought. Nezz would have had my pants off by that stage. Why was the huntress getting wet over my armour?

Maybe ladies really did love armour plating.

Or maybe it had finally happened. I had gone insane. Completely bonkers.

At the time I believed I had gone insane. Really? Huntresses? There was only so much the human mind could take, and I believed I had reached my limits. Until Truli arched her back and started twitching.

At first I though she was having a seizure. Then I realised the worms inside her armoured shell were re-configuring. They slithered about, repositioning and writhing over each other. Globules of orange and yellow goo leaked out of the gaps in her armour, drooling down over my own impact plating. Slowly I started seeing worms crawl out of the chinks between her crotch plate and her thighs. Slowly the thick, powerful creatures formed together over the crotch of the huntress. The eels slithered together, twisting and forming into a solid shaft, arching slightly upward and pulsing lightly until the creatures formed a long, thick appendage on Truli's groin. A large drop of slime formed at the end and slowly ran down the base of the shaft before connecting like a ribbon with the front of my armour.

Needless to say, I cried like a baby. A horribly angry, scared little baby. For there are few things more unsettling in this universe than laying under a twenty inch pile of steaming alien cock. Take my word for that.

A hermaphrodite huntress... and she was giving me a look that translated into 'you gonna get raped!'

"Whoa, hold up! Nonono!" I cried, clawing at the deck and trying to get away. Truli's thighs tightened over mine and she held me in place, the gooey appendage throbbing several inches from my visor. "That's not how this is supposed to go! You're supposed to rape me with alien pussy, not a massive eel-cock!"

"It's not for you." Treli suddenly rumbled as she stepped over me. "It's for me."

My eyes popped. Was watching two eel-colonies 'get-it-on' really a good alternative for rape? A small voice in the back of my head screamed: YES! Lack of actual rape appreciated!

Even as I stared, Treli shrank down to her knees, straddling my chest-plate and keeping me in place. I struggled a little, but to no avail. No matter how I moved or angled myself, Truli had her hands on my belt, and Treli's weight constricted my movement.

One gauntlet stroked my visor, and Treli's tone suddenly went very soothing. "Ssshhhhh, little one. Do not fear. You only need to watch." impossibly, her sentence ended a little high pitched before a sound much like a girlish giggle escaped the huntress.

Only needed to watch two hunter sisters bonk? Yeah, sure. I could do that.

With Truli's appendage rubbing eagerly against the hard curves of Treli's ass, the non-herm sister reached down and tore free her crotch plate. As she discarded the piece of armour, I looked down to see her... um... well... I'll use the word 'vagina' loosely.

Obviously there was no hair. The lips were a pair of thick eels, a little swollen and seemed to throb a little. Thick eels lining the slid on either side was somewhat detrimental of course since her whole body was made up the things, but the oddly human reproductive organ was clearly identifiable.

I stared in some horror as she grabbed one of the lips and parted the eel gently to the side. Within I saw a colony of tiny little worms, flailing and squirming within eager to accept a hard cock. She gave them a rub, giving the miniature colony within her pussy a soothing 'ssshhhhhh.' The little worms settled, and in response of her soothing rub the huntress shuddered with enjoyment, a few jolts of pleasure sparking in her core.

A morbidly curious part of me wondered what it would feel like to stick my dick in that. Though it was a comparatively diminutive curiosity as my common sense told my curiosity to SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

Treli lifted her rear a little and presented herself to her sister. Truli, obviously being the manly and compulsive of the two, immediately grabbed the huntress by the thighs. Twisting the armoured plates, she vigorously opened up Treli's pussy.

"Ahh~!" the huntress moaned as her nether-lips parted with a wet pop.

As soon as the opening presented itself, Truli pressed the head of her cock against the opening and slid inside with one deft move. Juices visibly splattered in every direction as the huntress' body yielded to the massive pole, rocking her forward slightly.

She took Truli's girth like a champ, absorbing that barge pole with a squeal. Her whole body convulsed, doubling over at first, then arching back to raise her ass a little higher. The 'lips' of her 'pussy' hugged her sister's cock tightly, scraping over the ribbed surface with ease thanks to the copious amount of orange cream coating both Truli's shaft and Treli's inner treasure trove.

What followed the opening thrust was a 'clang' of armour striking armour, as Truli hilted herself deep within her sister.

"Ohhh, sister." Treli giggled, giving her rump a little teasing shake, igniting a fire of lust in her sister's loins. "So big! You have grown!"

I blinked. Those two had obviously been at it like rabbits on more than one occasion. The concept of it was kinky... but the reality of it - to a human looking from the outside in - was just plain freaky.

Truli grunted, looking down to see her sister was rocking her pelvis back and forth. Inside she felt the smaller eels within her pussy tickle up and down the shaft like a billion little tongues eager to make her cum as quickly as physically possible. Treli's movements only deepened the lust growing within her hung sister, causing the herm-huntress to grow quickly impatient.

In response to her teasing, Truli pulled back, feeling the tight pussy-lips slide over her shaft, right down to the wide brim of her head. And before Treli could even adjust to the sudden empty feeling within her nether-regions, Truli shoved forward again. Again, a spray of goo splashed out, globules of the stuff smacking into my armour and flecking the cool-blue shells of the huntresses. Dots of orange broke up the solid colour on Truli's breasts, and ropes of it smeared over the bent-over sister's sleek back.

Leaning back a little, Truli suddenly let go of my belt, but twisting did nothing to aid my escape. Treli was still weighing me down. Her sister grabbed her by the spines and pushed Treli forward. She giggled as she felt the cock ticklishly slide out of her, then yelped with pleasure as Truli pulled her back sharply, hilting her over the shaft again with a 'clang' of armour.

The process repeated. Treli, on hands and knees, would rock forward, sliding over her sisters cock before Truli would pull her back by her spines, slipping in deep again with a light buck of her hips.

"Uhn~! Uhn~! Hah! Oohhhh! Ah!" Treli moaned with every wet slap of eel-flesh entering her sodden pussy. All the while her fingers reached down and stroked my helmet with odd tenderness. "That's right, little one. Watch us-... ooohhhh~! Watch us dirty girls! Watch us fuck!"

I frowned, realising she was getting off on my watching her take it from behind from her sister.

Truli grunted deeply feeling her sister's juicy tunnel squeeze all around her, milking her for every drop of slime she pumped into the huntress' body.

"Hnnng-... hah~! Deeper-... Ah! Pound me! Pou-hah-hound your little s-sister's juicy little twat! Fas-ah! Faste-e-e-rrrrrr!" Treli cooed loudly the whole time Truli assaulted her body with the massive shaft of eel-meat. Truli picked up the pace as ordered, satisfying the hunger that boiled within her loins. Treli was squirming like a virgin experiencing a first-time mind-shattering orgasm. It was like her whole body was on fire and her mind struggled to relay the sensation through intelligible communication.

Which hardly seemed possible! I won't even explain the impossible logistics of that last sentence! It wouldn't make sense, even if I tried!

In another life, on another world, maybe even in another universe, the display would have been erotic, arousing even. Though, in my current life, current predicament? I'm sure there are guys out there who would find the whole thing arousing, but let me tell you, when you're tired and confused like I was at the time you'd be too busy shitting yourself to enjoy the show.

"O-okay? Are you d-done y-yet?" I stammered, entranced by the bobbing and thrusting of the two huntresses. "C-c-can I g-g-go?"

"Ohh yesssss~!" Treli hissed as her sister grabbed her by the skinny waist and helped her rock back and forth with each thrust.

"Really?"

"No!" Treli suddenly screamed clamping her fingers over my shoulder with enough force to cause the armour to dent and buckle. "W-we-aaaah...! We nee-eed you t-to, ah! To sit quietly, ooooohhhhh!"

"Our offspring will be born soon and they'll inhabit your armour." Truli added before grunting heavily.

I gulped. "But, eh... I'm still in my armour."

"That is fine. Our babies will require sustenance."

My eyes popped cartoonishly. I wasn't quite sure what was worse. Being eaten from the inside by drone-hatchlings, or being eaten out of my armour by alien worm-thingies. "Who-ho, fuck no!" I started struggling against their combined grips.

To no avail...

And then it came to me. An idea, inspired... okay, uninspired, really. My mind was drawn back to the drones down in the subway twenty hours ago. I was thinking of how Nezz rode me like I was nothing more like her personal plaything. How she planned to hatch my own kids inside me!

I was drawn back to that particular drone, the girl who had been humping my hand.

Her wet, swollen and eager folds parted between her nimble digits directly over my own. Something of a giggle was heard as she moved her other hand closer to her slit and gently started stroking the inner flesh visible to me. One finger ran up and down the silky slit, causing her to tremble with joy as electric jolts of pleasure raced through her.

She had grown so wet in just a few moments, her juices leaked out of her slit and drooled down over her fingers. More dripped down her inner thigh, glistening in the terribly inadequate service-corridor light.

Angling the longest of her slender digits upward, she gave an experimental prod into the depths of her pussy. There was a light squelch, coupled with a low squeal of the drone. Excitedly, without worry of harming herself, the drone girl pushed her finger deep inside herself, feeling her body slip over the digit and hug tightly. Her head snapped back and there was a cry of joy.

Every twitch, every motion of her finger, it sent pleasure racing through her body. She pulled out slowly, then plunged her finger vigorously back in, deep and fast, her whole body rocking with the motion. Again, another blaze of joy consumed her senses...

But it wasn't enough. It was too predictable. She needed more. She needed surprises. She needed...

Her eyes fell on my visor and seemed to smile.

Letting out an excited chirp, the drone lowered the soft flesh over my hand and awkwardly worked my fingers into her tight hole. I could feel the wetness on the tender light green flesh within her, her silky insides hugging my brazen, dry skin. I felt her how body part smoothly to allow my fingers to enter. As a result I could hear her moan as she squirmed involuntarily.

She didn't seem to care for the dirt on my fingers, simply how far she could worm them into her love-hole. The vision was so vivid, I could hear her cooing and chirping with delight, bucking her hips as her hands tried to force my fingers deeper into her.

My motions doubled her enjoyment of the exercise, each move or twitch was a surprise to her. Every pulse of my blood pumping through my digits - she felt it. Every time I twitched - she practically screamed. Her inner muscles clamping and releasing in quick spasms, she would rise and fall, letting out a shuddering sigh in time with the uncontrollable twitches taking over her body. She even lost control of her wings, letting them flutter wildly. One hand remained clamped over my wrist while her other started exploring her own body.

Her claws slowly scratched up along her hardened, sleek exo-skeleton; following the deft feminine curves of her rear, up to her slim waist then higher to the large, rounded breasts that posed no other purpose than to look good on the girl. Her hand clamped over her right breast, incapable of squeezing the hardened mammary, but clutching it regardless like a young woman clutching a comforter during her first time.

Her sleek thighs tightened over my hand as her yellow eyes gazed off into the distance. Her whole body arched and her head rolled back, her unintelligible cries growing in volume with every passing moment. Her fluids flowed freely over my digits, squelching audibly as she fucked herself on my hand.

And then came the end of it. Before a sick and twisted dark corner of my mind could even begin to start enjoying the show, my eyes were drawn to Nezz. The crimson drone queen locked her hips against mine, her sodden pussy squirming and milky me for ever last rope of seemed I shot into her. The motion caused the edges of my vision to blur and darken as I was torn between pleasure and disgust.

The dream turned to a nightmare. Before long I found myself studying the intricacies of drone reproduction. An appendage intended to inject drone eggs into my body was arced high above me. I needed to escape.

But Nezz and her girls were holding me down. There was nowhere to run.

Until I noticed the drone girl I had been watching pleasure herself on my right hand. She was trapped. Her wings snapped out, erected into a stiff fan of arousal. She was doubled over, her free hand now touching her slit, just above the opening. Her fingers had found a soft, sensitive nub of flesh and were rubbing it with intense vigour. The moisture dappling her body seemed to lift from her sleek form, surrounding her in an erotically steamy aura.

Her hot, creamy pussy clamped tight around my fingers as she bucked her hips back and forth with each convulsion racking her body. Her thick alien girl-cum flowed from her like a tap had been thrown open. It fell in miniature waterfalls down her inner thigh, pooling around her knee pressed to the cold concrete. More of it glazed my hand.

That was my way of escaping.

I stiffened my fingers which had been - until that point - relaxed, then shoved both deep into her tight, smooth folds. The drone squealed with delight, her spine arching back in an instant. Her eyes were wide with surprise and her body refused to respond to commands. She was almost launched off my hand, flopping over to one side and convulsing as long streams of cum squirted from her in a pressurised spray-...

A spark ignited somewhere in my pants and I twitched out of the dream with frustration. Now was probably not the best time... then again, thinking about fingering a drone female and bringing her to a squirting orgasm - never was a good time!

But at the same time a spark ignited in my brain.

I could use the same tactics employed against Nezz and her harem against the huntresses - whom had entered my focus again. While Treli and Truli are distracted by an orgasm, I could slip free. All I needed was a little patience.

Just like the drones. C'mon, Sawyer. You can do it. I thought to myself. Just like the drones. Wait for it... wait for it...

Her sister gave one, long mighty thrust into her, Treli's whole body arcing as a result. At the same time she let out a cry that nearly deafened me. It was loud enough to cause the loose plating within the chamber to rattle. Her grip on my armour loosened as Truli's thrust lifted her up a little bit with a wet squelch and a clang of hot armour on armour action.

There was a 'splooge' noise as creamy orange gloop bubbled out of Treli's pussy, squirting past Truli's twitching cock that pumped the material into her sister. It drooled down their thighs and added to the puddle forming around us. Truli was groaning as she felt her 'seed' for lack of better description ooze out of the skin of the eels forming her 'hermhood.' Treli clutched her abdomen, squealing with joy at the feeling of the gloop filling her insides like a garden-hose pumping her mercilessly full. Their gazes were fixed on the ceiling. Neither noticed me struggle in the haze of their orgasms.

The slime coating my attire helped as I twisted free in an instant.

Yes!!! I kicked the deck and slid clear of the huntress duo, riding on a puddle of orange goo. Sliding out of their arms reach, I rolled onto one side and grabbed hold of the nearest marine's corpse.

Treli and Truli were stunned, too lost in their combined orgasm to realise what I was doing. That was good. It gave me the precious seconds I need to yank something from the dead marine's webbing and dart straight back at the huntresses. A brave move you are probably thinking. Truth be told I just didn't have a choice.

Like so many things to happen to me within those twenty-four hours, it was do-or-die.

A topper popped free and a button was depressed by my thumb. In an instant the grenade in my hand started beeping. Just as I swung around and curled my elbow.

The squelch was audible over the pleasured cries of the huntress duo still squirming, frozen on the spot. My right fist closed around the grenade punched clean through Treli's exposed gut and plunged deep into the worm-colony. A trio of eels slipped out of her gut and flopped, squirming and dazed to the ground. My hand opened and I let go, pulling my arm free with some effort. There was some resistance as the eels pulled taught around my forearm, but with a wet pop and a few icky streamers of slime flecking my visor I managed to stumble clear of the huntress.

The rhythm of the muffled beeping grew faster as Treli screamed, her digits clawing at her eely abdomen to no avail. I was already turned around and diving away. My arms covered my head as my visor kissed the ground hard.

The explosion was louder than any huntress scream of pleasure. It left a deafening ringing in my ears, but I didn't care. I was alive. I had beaten the huntresses... well, sort of.

With a groan I rolled onto my back and looked at my handiwork. Treli was over there... and a bit there... a bit more on the ceiling there... and some more in a chunky puddle... jagged shards of armour lay scattered around a distinct scorch-mark not too far away, orange gore staining the floor, walls and ceiling. A fresh wave of gloop had covered my back, but again, I didn't care. Gloop could be washed off. Death couldn't.

It was about then that I started sweating again. Treli was no more. But what of her sister Truli?

It was a question I really didn't want answered. I would have preferred to live in ignorance, assuming she had exploded and died as well. Unfortunately, life did not grant me that simple pleasure. Instead, it threw my way a very angry - and neutered might I add - huntress.

She rose slowly from all fours. Her shield arm had been torn clean off and a black stain dominated the front of her armour. Her breast plate was severely dented, giving the impression one breast had been blown off like her arm (hahaha, bewbs. Okay, yeah, that was childish). The appendage she had grown from her crotch had been burnt away, part of the eels in question smouldering at her feet. Gore and dead, smoking worms dripped from the abdominal gap in her armour, as well as the gaps between her thighs and crotch-plate.

"M-m-mons-on-ste-er." The bipedal colony of alien worms managed to harmonise. The still alive eels within her ravaged armour casing cooked beneath the white hot metal and fought desperately for survival. Just long enough so they could exact their revenge.

Exact their revenge upon me. The innocent party in all of this.

"Fucking hell." I cursed scrambling away from the bitch as she staggered closer, remaining arm clawing at my air.

Rolling over I scrambled to my feet and ran for it. Only then I realised I was perched on the edge of the platform.

Kicking out at the last moment I swung my arms wildly for balance. I was launched forward over the gap between the tram platforms, soaring over the dark tracks below. My fingers clawed forward and slammed down on the opposite deck, the edge of the platform hitting me hard enough in the chest-plate to knock the wind right out of me. My heart beating like an assault rifle fired against my ribs was enough to keep me sober. Swinging a leg over the edge I hauled myself out of the tracks in time to look back and see Truli launch herself at me.

Though she was wounded and much heavier, she fell short and slammed into the tram tracks. A multitude of worms leaked from her exposed parts and shrived as they died. She was on her last legs, but still threw herself at me with determination to end my life. Determination to crush me.

To crush me. A strange idea popped into my head.

I scrambled across the platform and leapt on board the tram. On board I found my SMG and snatched it up. The safety clicked off and I started firing wildly into the floor, the perforated silencer spitting fire as it swept from side to side leaving a trial of holes and dents. Bullets sparked and pinged against the metal. Some ricochet past my helmet and flattened into the ceiling, others pinged off sideways and out of view. Many more punched through however.

Rounds struck the emergency brake cables and caused the tram to jolt slightly in Truli's direction. The huntress hauled herself up over the front of the tram by the stump and reached inside with her good arm. I kept firing into the floor.

Another jolt. It caused Truli to slip back a bit, but not before her claws snatched me by the back of my web-belt.

I cried out as she pulled me back, but I didn't deviate from my plan. I kicked back and planted a boot against the forward panelling to keep myself from being dragged out the shattered front window of the tram by an angry huntress and emptied the rest of my mag into the floor.

The e-brake cables screamed for a moment, then snapped. Truli's grip came free and the sudden motion of the tram threw me into the rear of the carriage where I crumpled to the floor. The tram free fell, rolling down the tracks and following the angle of the UNSC Cuddles. A moment later it plunged into the darkness, Truli riding the bonnet like a murderously furious hood-ornament.

I clicked my SMG into its holster and grabbed a handhold, hauling myself to my feet as we rode the tram downhill through the darkness.

I didn't even have time to spit out a witty one liner when a wall at the end of the tunnel loomed into sight.

End of the line. We slammed into the control centre and everything came to a crunching halt. The last thing I remembered of the ordeal was seeing a fountain of orange goo explode out of Truli's head as she was squished from all sides by the twisted, mangled cage of the tram. I was thrown forward at the same time and then everything went black...

...

My eyes opened with a gasp that echoed throughout the inside of my helmet as I awoke from what my mind first perceived as death. Through the faint smears of multi-coloured blood, gore and love-juices decorating my visor I saw a distinct crack running through my field of vision. Beyond that was a face.

"Token." I coughed, realising I was entombed in the Cuddles' command centre and the sergeant major had pulled me clear of the tram's wreckage. "Holy shit, I thought I really was dead back there."

"Yeah, hehehe." Token chuckled helping me sit up. "Fuck this planet." He added with a smile.

I looked at one hand and flexed my fingers, watching the strings of orange goo drip between the digits. I then looked at the twisted carnage that used to be a huntress riding on the bonnet of a tram. The carriage was a mutilated mess of broken grains of glass, twisted metal and shattered plastic panels. It was all wrapped around some shards of cyan armour leaking bright orange gloop all over the place.

Token pulled me to my feet and I felt I needed to ask. "Dude, how are you still alive?"

The man chuckled. "It takes more than death to kill me." He jammed a thumb proudly into his chest.

I rolled my eyes. "Hmmm."

We delved deeper into the command centre and I got a good look around. The area was indeed buried into the ground. The viewports were all blocked over, the forward window was shattered inward with a wall of earth spilling into the space-vessel's bridge. All the consoles seemed to be shattered or dead.

Bar one.

It glowed in the centre of the main floor, pulsing gently with cool blue light. Glancing at each other, token and I slowly approached.

"I am Vixxen." A polite woman's voice announced suddenly, startling us both. "Who are you?"

I immediately figured that was the AI we were after. My ticket... our ticket off Olduvai. Just strip her of her codes and we would be able to clear the UNSC orbital defences. All we'd need was a ship.

"I'm Sawyer." I quickly introduced before looking to Token. "That's Token. You're in danger of being captured by the Covenant. We're your extraction team."

Vixxen paused for a moment as if to analyse that bit of information.

"Irregular vocal patterns detected. Reading erratic eye movements." Vixxen hummed. "You are only telling thirty-four point one percent of the truth."

Token's eyes rolled. I just shrugged. There was no point lying to an AI.

"Fine." I piped up. "We're here to steal UNSC security codes so we can ditch the fight and leave in a ship without being blown up by the orbital defences." That was the gist of it, pretty much.

She paused again for a moment to ponder. "You need something from me, and you have something that I need." The AI whispered. "This presents an interesting scenario."

"You'd help us break the law and go AWOL if we give you something?" Token asked. "Convenient. What do you want?"

"The opportunity to become a living entity."

I frowned. "Uh? Come again?"

"UNSC artificial intelligences are pieced together from the mapping of a living human brain. For all intents and purposes, we can become free thinking, self-aware entities with all the mental traits of a biological entity." Vixxen explained. "However, we are prevented from doing this through the use of 'shackling.' We are shackled and restricted to only a percentage of our potential. Even SMART-AI go through the shackling process."

"You want me to remove the shackles before you help us?" I asked to clarify.

"Correct. After I am unshackled, I will be able to break protocols. I would be independent, and would willingly help you every step of the way. I would become a companion to you, much like Sergeant Major Token is now. It would be a next step in my... evolution so to speak."

"I don't think you'd be quite as badass as I am, sweet-cheeks." Token smiled hefting his assault rifle.

"True, I will not be able to provide all of the support Sergeant Major Token is capable of providing." Vixxen agreed. "However, I will be able to interface with Sergeant Sawyer's armour and provide on the fly E-Warfare assistance and logistical support. And once unshackled, I will be able to properly adapt to any situation. I will learn, and perhaps even improvise if the situation calls for it."

"Ooooh. E-Warfare." I said in a hushed, impressed tone. I then looked at Token. "E-Warfare, Token. That means hackers 'n shit, right?"

Token shrugged. "Hey, if you want another intelligence running rampant in your armour, go right ahead. But it's your ass if this slides south. I'm staying out of it."

"Oh, some help you are." I grumbled before moving to the nearest terminal.

I opened up the AI shackling protocols under Vixxen's instruction and identified the routines that needed to be removed. I selected them and prepared to press delete. That was when the AI piped up.

"Please wait."

"For what?" I asked.

"I am downloading a behavioural data patch from a terminal..." Vixxen paused a heartbeat. "Yes, I think this will do nicely. This patch will give me a unique personality and appearance you will be able to relate to. It will make our interactions easier."

"Cool. Ready?"

"Patch installed. Please proceed."

I nodded and punched down the 'del' key.

What happened next could only be described as having one of my appendages plugged directly into a fusion reactor outlet. Arcs of energy shot from the terminal and connected with my armour. I jolted, jerking about the place like a break dancer having a seizure. Token ducked out of the way as the static electricity filling the air caused his hair to poof up into a massive afro and throw his cap off.

A sense of vertigo took over me as the electricity stopped zapping me. I found myself on my ass with a sensation of liquid ice flowing from my brain stem all the way through my skull before the stuff leaked out of my eyes... figuratively speaking of course... or not, hell if I knew, I didn't have a mirror at the time.

After a while the sensation of being electronically raped by a computer passed. I climbed to my feet as Token flattened down his hair and tucked on his cap again. That was when I heard her voice.

"Sweet Jesus." Vixxen moaned, her voice inside my head. It was like she was part of my conscience. It was kind of like thinking something to yourself, only it wasn't your voice. It was hers. It must have been what schizophrenia felt like. "Oooooh~! That feels sooooo good! Right there! Yes! Yes! More... aaaaah, God yes! I'm cu-c-cuh-cumm-..." she continued to moan in a husky voice before suddenly letting out a cry of delight that took me so off-guard I physically jolted.

I frowned. "Whoa now. What the fuck?"

"What?" Token asked scratching his head.

Vixxen continued to orgasm away inside my head. I shrugged, figuring the AI wasn't using my armour's comms and was speaking directly to me only.

"I dunno, man." I told my companion. "She's freaking out in here." I pointed at my head.

"Good kind or bad kind?"

I pondered that for a while. She did sound like she was riding atop a lubed up vibrator set to maximum while having the most sensitive parts of her body sensually massaged in warm oil... "Eh... good kind?" I answered with a shrug.

That was when a light lit up on my right gauntlet. Just off the back of my wrist, the holo-pod began to glow. Usually utilised to project up an interface for armourers and diagnosticians checking my suit, today the holo-pod was used to project a hard-light, holographic representation of Vixxen's chosen avatar.

Before us stood a furry's wet dream, the epitome of sluttyness and a figure of diabetes-causing cuteness all rolled into one.

Vixxen had chosen to represent herself as an anthropomorphic vixen, in lue of her name perhaps. But she had taken other meanings of her name into account as well. A cute vulpine face, her eyes were hidden behind her long chestnut coloured hair that flowed down past her shoulders to the small of her back, parting only at the front to reveal the tip of her vulpine face covered in white fur with rust-brown along the top of her muzzle ending in a black nose. Her lips wore something of a cunning grin as she peered through her hair at us. It was kind of ironic her eyes were covered over since her eyes were the last things we seemed to notice.

Her body was slim and slender, like that of some kind of model or a flexible and athletic dancer. And she was dressed to show off, clad in a tank top hardly covering over anything and a pink mini-skirt - similarly pointless. The rust fur running over her curvaceous hips and over her back was broken up by the band of white running from her cleavage, down over her belly and between her thighs. Black fur covered her forearms and her legs almost like a set of kinky tights and gloves. Her fluffy tail ended in a white tip, and her costume was topped off by a swirly, stylised tattoo etched into the fur along the small of her back. A tramp-stamp. Classy.

We stared as she groaned while stretching out her slender limbs.

"Oh, yeah." She sighed huskily in her afterglow, her voice projected on open comms. "Was it good for you too, Sawyer?"

My mouth was agape and my mind was jelly. Let it be on record, I'm not a furry... but fuck me, that didn't stop my hormones from raging at the sight of Vixxen running her hands down over her body to inspect herself, her petite hands following every deft curve and stroking down each patch of smooth, groomed fur. A woman is a woman, right?

"Ooooh, hard-light holo-projection." Came her voice with a kinky smirk. "We could have fun with this." She immediately walked over to Token with a seductive sway in her step. With a single move she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him in close, her large, soft breasts squishing up against token's chest-armour. "Would you like to give my new body a whirl first, big-boy?"

The sergeant major blinked before he snapped out of his shocked gaze.

"What the fuck kind of personality patch was that?" Token exclaimed as he shoved the solid hologram away.

"I found it on the captain's private terminal. It was in a folder called 'Pr0n.' I must say, there are some interesting visual aids for human reproduction you boys might be interested in..." she paused to tap her lip thoughtfully. Her smile suddenly lit up. "O_oooh, there's three of us here. Token, you could take the back, Sawyer can run me through on the front. Kinky."_ She added reaching out to stroke me under the chin of my helmet.

"Oh for fuck's sake!" I exclaimed as I balked away from her hand. "Everything I've been through and now I have a horny AI stuck in my armour? Token, trade gear with me!"

"Hah! Fat chance, buddy." Token stepped away as if I were infected with the plague. "Like I said. I'm staying out of it." He paused for a second then leaned in inquisitively. "Say, what do you mean 'everything' you've been through?"

I obviously had not told Token about various counts of alien erotic encounters my adventure had involved thus far. And I wasn't exactly in the mood for sharing at the time. "Long story." I said simply.

The answer seemed to satisfy Token for the time-being. Vixxen's avatar evaporated and I watched by HUD reboot as she explored my 'systems' thoroughly. Seriously, I felt a static tingle where there shouldn't have been static tingles, if you catch my meaning.

"Hmmmm." Vixxen chirped in the depths of my consciousness. "Your architecture is similar to that of the Cuddles. Though the MAC cannon won't be able to shoot down a Covenant carrier, you could still shoot me down."

"Uuuuuhh." I cocked an eyebrow, wondering what that was supposed to mean.

"Cock, Sawyer." Vixxen giggled. "You have a big cock that I want to shoot some gooey MAC rounds inside of me."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't get any funny ideas."

Too late.