Off the Clock
First of all, I uploaded this earlier this evening and accidentally posted it as a journal entry because I can't remember the last time I slept for more than a couple of hours and I'm losing my mind with all the shit I've been going through. Only just noticed it a few minutes ago, so here it is again, uploaded as an actual story this time. Jesus Christ.
Anyway. This was another story commission, so I was able to chip away a little more at my bank account overdraw, so that was a huge relief. It's a glimpse into the things these characters sometimes get up to when they're not being shot at. :P It's set on the same night as "One in a Million." And the scene at the end with them goofing around with the bouncy-balls was inspired by this Achievement Hunter video: https://youtu.be/7p3Q2MV1SB4 Just couldn't help myself. Had to put a big finish on it. ;)
Dunno why there are such huge spaces between paragraphs. Every time I try to take them out, all of the text formatting disappears. So I had to just roll with it and hope I can figure it out later.
And, as always, I need to keep plugging my stuff on Tapas Media out of sheer desperation. :P
Somewhere Out There: https://tapas.io/series/Somewhere-Out-There1 This one's up to 72 subscribers now. Still need 28 more to enable ads and start making a few bucks...
Game Over: https://tapas.io/series/GameOver1 This one had a small jump in subscribers over the past few days, now at 36. Could always use more, though. ;)
Uncharted Territory: https://tapas.io/series/Uncharted-Territory This one tripled its number of subscribers over the last couple of days, meaning it's currently at ... 3. Well, it's a start ... :P
And if anyone who enjoys my work would like to buy me a "coffee" ... https://ko-fi.com/feel_boss
^_^
"And there it is." Jack stood in the doorway and flicked his hand at Dale's unconscious body slumped on the floor while Kim finished running a wet cloth over the sofa. "Just finished a day at work that actually wasn't life-threatening, for once, then we come home to this. Just had to slip something awful in before the day was over, didn't we?"
He moved aside so Taura could step through the front door and take in the scene. She sighed and shook her head.
"Dale throw another one of his parties?"
"Yep. I managed to get everyone out of here a while ago, except Dale and some girl he's been trying to fuck." Kim's cybernetically-augmented voice had an unsettling reverberation effect that Jack and the others had gotten used to, but he could only imagine what the partiers who'd never met her before had made of it. "They passed out on the sofa. I just let 'em sleep it off while I cleaned up their mess. Then Dale regained consciousness just enough to puke all over her, then he passed out again."
Jack shook his head. "His parents must be so fucking proud of him."
"Yep. She wanted to use our shower, but I told her to leave." Kim pointed toward her red glowing cybernetic eyes and her generally pale and veiny face and smirked. "One advantage of practically being a reanimated corpse is the ability to scare off people like her. She didn't even argue, she just turned and staggered out. I had to fight the urge to tell her to drive home because she's too fucked-up to walk. No need to worry, though, she called an Uber or something and it picked her up about twenty minutes ago."
Jack snickered. "You're handy to have around. I would've been too tempted to photograph all of 'em in compromising positions and send the pictures to their families and employers."
"Ohh, if only I'd thought of that." Kim tossed off a lopsided grin. "I'll keep that in mind for next time." She pointed a thumb over her shoulder. "Oh, Corona got home a while ago. She's waiting upstairs."
"Thanks." Jack headed for the staircase just inside the doorway to the kitchen.
"Sorry we didn't get here in time to help you clean up," Taura said as she followed him.
"Aw, no worries. When Mom drops by, we'll probably go hang out somewhere just to get away from Dale. That'll make up for the mess I just cleaned up."
"Well, have fun, then." Taura smiled and waved at her.
"You guys have fun, too." Kim winked and grinned before taking one last look at the sofa and carrying the towel through the kitchen and into the utility room.
Jack climbed the stairs and walked to their bedroom, wondering if Corona had kept any clothes on while waiting for him and Taura. He hoped not.
He opened the door and found her handcuffed to the bed at both wrists and ankles, wearing only her panties. She twitched, snapped her head around to stare at them, and a lockpick slipped from her right hand.
Jesus H. Jack shook his head quickly and took his duster off as he moved out of the doorway.
"Back to this again, are we?" He hung his coat in the closet and rolled his eyes.
"Well … yeah. I mean, I only managed to pick one of these once, so I wanted to keep practicing. I actually got pretty good at it, so I decided I needed a challenge."
"Oh, dear," Taura muttered.
"Um … yeah." Corona shrugged and her wrists pulled the cuffs taut. "If you wouldn't mind unlocking these? I'll try again later. It's almost time for dinner, so …"
Jack glanced at Taura, raised an eyebrow, and smirked. Taura grinned. Both of them turned back to Corona.
"Well," Taura said, "I think dinner can wait. I'm seeing an opportunity here to get back at you for making me lead you around town with a leash last week."
"Oh, come on. Did you not see the looks on people's faces? It was hilarious!"
Jack glanced around, settled on the huge feather next to a set of fuzzy handcuffs on top of Corona's dresser, and picked it up. Corona stared at him and her eyes opened wider.
"Uh-oh."
"Why don't we make this a little more interesting?" Taura darted over to the closet and plucked a gadget off the top of a pile of junk in a box on the floor. It was a little project she'd been working on ever since Corona had bought the feather and fuzzy cuffs and a few other accessories. "I just finished this a few days ago and now's a perfect time to try it out."
Jack stared at the device. "An old Roomba? With … legs and tentacles?"
Corona actually looked frightened for a moment. "Yeah, what the hell is that thing?"
"I picked up an old Roomba at a thrift store, replaced most of its inner workings, and added legs and manipulator arms and a few fuzzy, tentacley appendages. I got the idea when Corona brought home that big feather."
Jack kept staring. "You just … built that? Just for the hell of it?"
"Well, I got bored when you two were out and started working on it. Then, since I'd started it, I had to finish it."
"Uh-huh." Jack chuckled. "We need to stop leaving you unsupervised."
Taura snorted, linked her brand-new cybernetic interface to the bot, and placed it on the bed. Corona tried to inch away from it. Another idea popped into Taura's head and she returned to the box and grabbed the bot's remote control. She handed it to Jack and tossed another shit-eating grin at Corona.
"Anyway, about making this more interesting. How about we unlock those cuffs if you answer ten questions correctly in a row. If you get one wrong, you'll have to start over. And each time you get one wrong, Jack gets to work you over with the TickleBot 3000. Or the feather. Or both."
"Oh, come on!" Corona shook her head.
Jack laughed and thought for a moment. "Okay, then, first question. The names of the actors in the starring role during the original run of Doctor Who -- in order. Go!"
"William Hartnell, Patrick Troughton, Jon Pertwee, Tom Baker, Peter Davison, Colin Baker, Sylvester McCoy." Corona smirked. "Paul McGann may or may not count, depending on whether you consider the TV-movie part of the original run or not. Some people do, some don't. Hah!" She stuck her forked tongue out at Jack.
Taura grinned, linked up to the handheld supercomputer in her pocket, and brought up a holographic window in front of her. She reached in with a finger and drew a tally mark.
"Not a bad start, babe. Okay, uh … the first woman who played the same character?"
"Jodie Whittaker."
"Okay, that's two." Taura chuckled, added another mark, and nudged Jack's shoulder. "Try something more obscure or she'll answer all ten on the first try."
"Heh, okay. How about … hmm … the actor in the lead role in Space: 1999?"
"In … what?" Corona gaped at him.
Huh. I don't know that, either. Taura used her interface and her pocket computer to search for the info. Ah, Martin Landau. Okay.
"I … don't … aw, damn it." Corona sighed.
Jack laughed like a Bond villain, pushed a button on the remote, and nudged the tiny joystick.
Taura held in a laugh of her own, sent a command to the bot, and erased the tally marks while the bot scampered over to Corona's waist.
"Sorry, you'll have to start over."
Jack glanced back and forth from the bot to the remote control. "I … that's not where … am I holding this upside-down?" He shrugged and stuck the feather under Corona's left arm. She burst into giggles and tried to lower her arm, pulling the chain on the handcuffs tight again.
Taura sent another command to the bot and it brushed the tip of an appendage across the spot under the base of Corona's tail. Corrie yelped, arched her back, and lifted her ass off the bed to get away from the bot. Snickering, Jack stuck the feather into the same spot and Corona let out a sort of laughing shriek.
Taura directed the bot to jump up and grab onto her panties. Corona dropped back onto the mattress and stared as it climbed up and secured its grip. She wiggled, then jerked back and forth to try to dislodge it. It held on and fluttered its tentacles over her abs. Corona squealed and let loose another barrage of giggles until she could barely breathe. Taura finally eased up and gave her a moment to catch her breath.
"You … bastards!" Corona laughed again.
"Here comes round two." Jack aimed a brilliant grin at her and looked over at Taura. "Fire when ready."
"Okay, uh, let me look something up." Taura stared off into space as if looking at something only she could see, and Jack realized she was using her cybernetic implant, probably searching for trivia questions. "Okay, got one. In the original Star Trek series, what was the title of the episode featuring a nearly unstoppable planet-killer?"
"'The Doomsday Machine.' That's one of the few episodes that transcended the show's cheesiness thanks to the story it told."
"So far, so good." Taura drew a fresh tally mark in her holofield. "The name of the character wracked with survivor's guilt?"
"Oh, uh … Matt Decker. Commodore Matt Decker." Corona shook her head and glanced back and forth between the TickleBot and the feather. "Can't believe I could remember that under duress."
"And the actor who played him?"
Corona squeezed her eyes shut, groaned, and let her head flop onto the pillow. "I … don't … remember that! Damn it!"
Taura let out another soft laugh. "William Windom."
"Uh-huh. Great." Corona grimaced and waited for the torture to resume.
Chuckling, Jack leaned over and brushed the feather across the bottom of her left foot. She yanked her leg away and the cuff around her ankle pulled taut with a sharp clink.
"Uh-oh, here comes the planet-killer!" He hummed the bombastic music that played during the episode and slowly moved the feather closer to her foot. "I'd totally mimic the zapping sound that thing made, but I don't know how to do it without looking goofy."
"I'm afraid that ship has sailed, anyway." Corona aimed a shit-eating grin at him and he snorted.
"Oh! Just for that, I'll break up all the planets in your star system and use them for fuel. Mwahahaha!" He slid the feather between two of her toes and she let out a startled whoop, then cackled and writhed around.
"That's too much!" She tried to take in a breath, then dissolved into helpless giggling again. "Stop! Can't … breathe!"
He pushed the joystick on the remote control, directing the bot at her other foot.
The bot stayed in place instead, used one of its arms to lift the waistband of her panties, and stick one of the tentacles under it. Corona squeaked again and tried to buck the robot off. It flopped into the air, dropped, and dangled over her side, still holding onto her panties.
"No," Corona half-snapped, half-giggled at the bot. "Fuck off!"
Jack burst into laughter, slumped over, and shook his head. The bot climbed back on, scampered up Corona's chest, and tickled her neck, prompting another yelp and another fit of giggling. She lowered her head, pinned the tentacles between her shoulder and muzzle, and the bot started trying to tug its limbs out.
Jack fired off another wicked grin and attacked her armpit again. She snort-laughed and tried to flinch away, setting the bot free at the same time.
Taura managed to stop laughing, erase the tally mark, and take a long breath.
"Okay, let's see … name three of the actors who played Captain Christopher Pike."
"Jeffrey Hunter, Bruce Greenwood, and Anson Mount." Corona grinned, extended her middle talon, and giggled. "In that order, too."
"I'm surprised you remembered the original actor." Taura added a fresh mark in her holofield.
"I only saw that episode once, but the actor was memorable because of his eyes. I dunno, there's just something captivating about them."
"Cool. Okay, nine more to go." Jack rubbed his hands together.
"Oh, terrific." Corona arched a brow ridge at Taura. "How about not stacking the deck against me?"
"Okay, okay." Taura smiled. "Back to the Thirteenth Doctor for a moment. In one of the episodes in her first-season, she figured out where the TARDIS landed by doing something kinda gross. What was it?"
"Eww. She stuck a chunk of dirt in her mouth and chewed it." Corona grimaced. "How many animals had pissed all over it before she picked it up?"
"Yuck." Jack grimaced but couldn't hold in a snicker.
Taura added another tally mark. "And for another point, what was the episode title?"
"'It Takes You Away.'"
"Yep. You're up to three now." Taura added another mark. "Here's one more softball. What did the props department install in the TARDIS console just for Jodie Whittaker?"
"Oh, a cookie -- no, wait, a biscuit dispenser!" Corona grimaced. "Custard cream! It was a custard cream dispenser!"
"Right again." Taura upped the score to four. "And why did they add that?"
"It was the actor's favorite snack."
"Correct! You're at five, now." Taura cocked her head and stared at nothing in particular again. "Let's raise the difficulty a bit, shall we?"
"How about no?" Corona chuckled.
"Just found something a little more obscure. What are the names of the AI characters in Red vs. Blue?"
"Haha! First of all, they're fragments of a single AI. Second, their names are Delta, Theta, Gamma, Omega, Sigma, Eta, and Iota. All of whom are fragments of Alpha. There's another AI in the backstory named FILSS, who was later renamed Sheila. And later in the series, there's an alien AI that Caboose named Santa." Corona grinned. "And that should count as answers to three separate questions!"
"Okay, fair enough. Three points. Hmm, okay … the real name of 'The Director'?"
"Leonard Church. Four points, now!"
"Heh. Alright. And … hmm … the organization that opposed them?"
"Charon Industries, run by Malcolm Hargrove."
"Okay, back up to five points, now. Let's see … what planet did the main characters crash on in Season 11?"
"Chorus. And, six!"
"Okay, well, I guess it's time to up the difficulty again."
"Hah, do your worst. I can take whatever you dish out."
Taura pondered something in her cybernetic interface and then smirked. "Oh. Here's a good one. Back to Jodie Whittaker's first season for a moment. The enemy she faced in the New Year's Day special turned out to be a Dalek, but it had a codename in the script to try to prevent spoilers from being leaked. So, what was the codename?"
Corona stared at her and Jack almost winced as her heart visibly sank. "I … how the hell should I know that?"
"Kevin." Taura chuckled.
"You're kidding!"
"Nope." Taura reached into the holofield and erased Corona's points. Corona laughed ruefully and sighed.
"Oh, fuck you both."
"Maybe later." Jack laughed and fiddled with the remote control. "We'll save that for dessert."
Tee-hee! Taura directed the TickleBot to go after the base of Corona's left wing. Jack frowned at the bot, tapped the remote as if thinking a wire was loose or something, and finally let out an exasperated snort and tossed the remote onto the top of Taura's dresser. Meanwhile, Corona cringed and tried to lunge away from the bot.
"Oh, that just feels creepy! Feels like a spider is crawling on me."
"Oops. Sorry." Taura steered the bot away and flicked one of its appendages along Corona's side instead. Corona burst out laughing and tried to twist away again.
Jack glanced up at Taura and seemed to realize she'd been controlling the bot all along. He grinned, shook his head, and brushed the feather along Corona's right side, prompting another squeak and fit of giggles from her. He ran the feather up to her armpit and then down along her arm. Her giggling faded and she shrugged.
"Not getting much from there."
"I'll just have to keep exploring, then." Jack leaned over to attack the back of her neck. She hunched forward and twitched.
"Getting the 'spider' sensation again."
"Back to one we know actually works, then." Taura had the bot reach up and tickle Corona's belly again. Corrie belted out another laugh and writhed around. Jack went after her side with the feather, reached over to her other side, and used his hand. Corona's laugh turned into a silent wheeze and she doubled over as far as her handcuffs would allow.
"Ah, here we go!" Jack grinned and tickled harder until Taura finally directed the bot to back off.
"Ease up, Jack, let her breathe."
"Sorry." He pulled his hands back. "Got a little carried away."
Corona flopped onto her back and drew in several heaving breaths.
"Hooooooo, I'm actually dizzy," she finally said. "I'm seeing spots." She giggled and took a few more deep breaths.
"Guess it's time for the next round, then." Taura searched for more info to turn into questions and answers, finally landing on the topic of TV shows from the previous century. She searched for a few specific shows and stumbled onto one she'd never heard of before. "Oh, this oughta be fun. What novel was adapted into multiple movies and one TV series back in the 1980s?"
"Oh, come on, you've got to narrow it down a little!"
"Fair enough. It was an HG Wells novel."
"Oh! War of the Worlds. I actually saw some of that one a few weeks ago. The first season had some interesting ideas, but the second season was a steaming pile of shit. I gave up on it after the second episode." Corona smirked. "Hardly anyone knows that show ever existed."
"Gonna have to try harder to stump her, then." Jack grinned at Taura and Corona shook her head.
"No, no, you really don't need to go to all that effort on my behalf."
"Heh." Taura added a point in the holofield. "Name the main characters."
"Harrison Blackwood, Suzanne McCullough, Paul Ironhorse, and Norton Drake." Corona giggled again. "It's only been a few weeks since I saw it, so the names are still fresh in my mind."
"Well, then." Taura grinned as a new idea came to her. "Name a few of the guest stars."
"Oh … shit," Corona muttered, her eyes opening wider. "Uh … how many, specifically?"
"How about … three?"
"And you gotta be right about all of 'em. Otherwise …" Jack moved the feather over her as if picking out his next target while making an odd noise with his mouth. Corona snickered and raised a brow ridge.
"You sound like Clarence Boddicker just before he shotgunned Alex Murphy's hand off."
"Oh, Jesus! I do? Sorry!" Jack burst into laughter. "That wasn't my intention, I swear!"
Corona laughed again, took a slow breath, and tried to focus. "Okay. Guest actors. Um … gimme a minute."
Jack started humming the Jeopardy! theme. Corona whapped him with her wing.
"Stop it! I don't want that stuck in my head." She turned back to Taura. "I remember seeing Alex Cord, John Colicos, and … um … oh! Ann Robinson, from the movie in the 1950s!" Corona let out a relieved sigh.
"Wow. Bravo. I think you deserve five points for that." Taura added them to the holofield. "That puts you at seven. You're almost there."
"Perfect time for me to completely fuck it up." Corona laughed and then eyed the TickleBot nervously.
Taura chuckled and searched for something that might be more challenging. "Ah, here we go. Here's a one-season wonder from 1985. Now, the '80s had a bunch of shows centered around high-tech vehicles, some of which lasted longer than others. This one was about a cop and a heavily-armed motorcycle and lasted only thirteen episodes. Name the show."
Corona groaned and thumped her head back against the pillow.
"God … damn it."
What are those three up to? Kim glanced over her shoulder at the stairway, tossed off a lopsided grin, and returned her attention to her laptop. The raucous laughing, giggling, and occasional squealing had been going on for quite some time. Hope Mom gets here before much longer, or my imagination is gonna run away with me.
In the corner of her eye, Dale, still passed out, shifted, mumbled something, and started drooling on the carpet.
Well, if that doesn't kill the mood, I don't know what the hell would. Kim thought about heading up to her bedroom, but that would just put her closer to whatever the hell the three lovebirds were doing. She decided to compromise by moving her laptop from the coffee table to the dining room table. At least there she could sit with her back to Dale and not have to look at him.
She re-read the emails she'd gotten from a variety of doctors and specialists over the past few days, still trying to get her mind around the prognosis and everyone's ideas on what to do about it. Then she flicked through the concept images again and tried to narrow the choices down a little. Several of them were so cool that she'd been having trouble settling on one.
Another burst of muffled laughter came from upstairs, followed by Corona blurting, "You fuckers!" Kim snickered and had to resist the urge to cheer them on. Any remark she made would probably put a damper on their fun, and she didn't want to ruin things for them.
Well, whichever body I decide on, I gotta insist on it being anatomically correct with all the right sensors and software. At the very least, I wanna be able to rub one off every now and then.
More laughter came from upstairs and Kim grinned. Oh, to be a fly on that wall.
The doorbell chimed and Kim switched to the tab showing the camera feed from the front porch. She found her mom standing there, powered her laptop down, hurried to the door, and opened it.
"Hey, Mom!"
"Hey, yourself. How're you doing?" They hugged and her mom latched a worried stare onto her. "Have you heard anything new from the doctors yet?"
"Nope. They're pretty sure the 'zombification' tech they used a few months ago isn't working anymore." Kim shrugged. "But at least they caught it in plenty of time. Machiko's working out a deal with someone who can get me a prosthetic body to stick my brain into. It'll be mili …"
More giggling came from upstairs and Kim laughed softly, then laughed again at her mom's expression. She waited for it to subside before continuing.
"It'll be military-grade because the guy who owes her a few favors works for a company that does that kind of thing. I'm also talking to Hoshi and the sexbot Jack and the girls found in that abandoned motel a few months ago, and they're both willing to let him take a peek 'under the hood' so I can have the same network of sensors and software they have."
"They're sure it'll work?"
"Yep. The guy ran a few cursory scans on Hoshi and the other bot and said their hardware is the most sophisticated he's ever seen. They'll be able to replicate it and …"
More laughter interrupted her and was followed by Corona wheezing, "Stop! I can't breathe!" Kim shook her head and giggled.
"What in the hell are they doing up there?" Her mom tossed her a lopsided grin.
"I don't know, but my brain's running wild with the possibilities."
"I bet. Anyway, is the new body gonna look like a normal human? The way you were before, or …?"
"They can probably do that, or at least get it pretty close, but that would be boring." Kim shrugged. "Right now, I'm kinda leaning toward one that looks like RoboCop, except female. I still wanna have a 'girl' body. Other than that, I'm not too picky. I kinda like the idea of having a robot body that actually looks like a robot body."
"RoboCop? Are you fucking kidding?"
Another high-pitched squeal came from the trio's bedroom, followed by Jack laughing and shouting, "Right there! Stick your finger right there!"
Her mom's jaw dropped, both of them exchanged a glance, and then they burst out laughing. Dale twitched, muttered something that sounded like, "Your mom's box," and snored softly. Kim held a hand up.
"Don't wake him up," she whispered. "He'll probably puke on something again."
Her mom winced and made an effort to keep her voice low. "So … RoboCop? Really? Fucking seriously?"
"As close as they can get without infringing on any trademarks, at least. With a few modifications. Like, maybe a black paint job and a glowing red optic strip like the one in the first remake. And most of the concept images I've seen of the female versions look like they have high heels. That's the first thing I told 'em to lose. Never understood how anyone ever walked in those goddamn things without killing themselves, but there's also the whole thing about women always having to wear them. I'd prefer something that looks like combat boots."
Her mom speared her with an utterly bewildered look. "Wow. Almost being killed made you weird."
"You think it's weird not to like high heels?" Kim grinned.
"You know what I mean."
Kim shrugged. "If I'm gonna have to …"
More squealing and giggling interrupted her. Jack belted out another guffaw and said, "Now we've got her all revved up! Stick it right there!"
Her mom shook her head and had to clamp her mouth shut on a sudden laugh. "I'm probably getting the completely wrong image in my head."
Kim smirked. "If the image in my head is wrong, I don't wanna be right."
"Jesus Christ. I think it might be time to go for a walk or something. Sooner or later, Otto and Shakira are gonna come home, and who the hell knows what might happen once they start getting their own ideas."
"It's so easy to fall down a rabbit hole with this stuff." Taura shook her head. "I was looking up some animated series from the 1980s and … wow. That was a weird fucking decade."
"Heh. I've seen a few of those. The writers seemed to be utterly clueless when it came to science." Corona shook her head and Jack grinned.
"If you wanna see her go into a rant, just start asking her about specific shows."
"Oh, I've heard a few of them." Taura laughed. "At risk of breaking the mood … let's see … oh, I just watched the opening credits for one early-80s series and it's comedy gold."
"Let 'er rip."
"You asked for it. Thundarr the Barbarian."
"Oh, goddamn it!" Corona snarled. "I've only seen the intro sequence. Couldn't stand to see any more of it. One bit of it had a planet passing between Earth and its moon. First of all, it wasn't big enough to be a planet. It wasn't much bigger than the moon. Second …"
"And we have liftoff," Jack said with a shit-eating grin.
"Second! Its gravity was apparently strong enough to crack the moon in half and rip part of Earth's atmosphere off. Anything that could do that would just straight-up shatter Earth! Or, at least, knock it and the moon out of their orbits and cause them to crash into each other or go shooting off into space or falling into the sun. And it would take a lot longer than two thousand years for the surviving life forms to evolve into the things in the opening credits. It'd be more like millions of years! Not that anything would actually survive the initial event."
"Whew." Taura aimed a wide-eyed stare at her and backed away slowly. Corona noticed it and snickered.
"Calm your tits," Jack said, and she laughed and tugged on the handcuffs.
"Can't reach 'em from here. Maybe one of you could try."
"First things first." Jack brushed the feather across her belly again and she fired off another blast of giggling. "That's more like it."
"Take it easy, Jack." Taura chuckled. "I haven't asked a question yet, much less gotten an incorrect answer from Corona."
"Oh, that's right. Sorry, honey. Got ahead of myself just a little bit." Jack pulled the feather away and let her catch her breath. "Okay, Taura, fire away."
"First of all, I think that rant should be worth five points. So …" Taura added them to the holofield. "You're halfway there."
"I've been halfway there a few times already." Corona shook her head and sighed.
"Well, here's one I know you've seen before, so your chances are pretty good. Aliens."
"Oh, yeah." Corona grinned and nodded. "Fantastic movie for Halloween. Fun movie, but it has its flaws. Like, I'm sorry, but those guys are not marines." She cleared her throat and braced herself. "Anyway, hit me with your best shot."
"Okay. I'm sure you remember the APC."
"Oh, yeah, that thing was too weird-looking to forget. I never bought it as the kind of troop transport they used it for in the movie. Too low to the ground. It would've gotten stuck on most of the terrain on that planet." Corona shrugged. "Anyway, what about it?"
"Well, it was another type of vehicle entirely, but one that actually existed in real life. The filmmakers found it somewhere, liked the way it looked, and used a modified version. So … what kind of vehicle was it?"
"Ohhh … I'm gonna get you for this. Seriously, guys, revenge is gonna be sweet. And it's gonna be served hot!" Corona laughed, but then she sighed.
"Well, how about a hint?" Jack swirled the feather above her and her eyes tracked its movements. "The real-life vehicle was used for towing something."
"That sure narrows it down."
"Towing a much larger vehicle. I mean, really big."
"Okay … a bus?"
He made a buzzing sound. "Sorry, no."
"Waitwaitwaitwait! Uh … one of those huge dump trucks with twelve-foot tires?"
"Nope."
"Argh, dammit! Okay, what, then?"
"Airplanes. Like, jumbo jets, if I remember correctly."
Taura nodded. "Correct!" She reached into the holofield and deleted Corona's accumulated points again.
Corona sighed again. "Just promise me that you'll unlock these if I need to take a dump, okay?"
Jack burst out laughing. "Absolutely. We're not barbarians."
"Yeah, this is all in good fun. And speaking of which …" Taura commanded the TickleBot to scamper up and down Corona's abs. Jack jumped in and went after both of her sides at once. She tried to double over and howled with laughter.
Jack suddenly flicked the feather up to the tip of her muzzle and wiggled it across her nostrils. Her face contorted and she drew in a deep breath.
"Oh, no, that's gonna --" She released a truly monstrous sneeze, hunching forward violently and jerking her legs up. The cuffs pulled tight and her arms and legs kept going. The industrial-strength cuffs held up under the sudden attack, but the bed didn't -- it bent in the middle, the head and foot folding in on Corona with a shriek of twisting metal.
Taura gasped, clamped both hands over her mouth, and stared with wide, shocked eyes. Jack stared at the twisted wreckage of the bed with a look of dull surprise, his mouth hanging open and his eyes blinking several times. Corona shook her head, grimaced, coughed, and took a cautious breath.
"Wow, that was …" She seemed to notice her new pose and glanced around, taking in the twisted bed frame with slowly widening eyes. "Oh."
"Oh," Taura said, her voice muffled by her hands. "Oh. Wow."
"Holy shit." Corona continued running her eyes over the destroyed bed as if unable to comprehend what she saw. "Um …"
"I, uh … didn't … expect … well …" Jack shook his head as if coming out of a daze. "Guess we're not sleeping here tonight."
"Guys," Shakira's voice suddenly came from downstairs, "is everything okay up there? That wasn't a good sound."
All three of them turned to stare at the door. Corona glanced over the bed again and back up to the door.
"Um …"
"Just when I thought today couldn't get any more fucked-up." Otto scowled at Dale's unconscious body and shook his head.
"This still surprises you? Really?" Shakira chuckled and closed the door behind her.
"Surprises me, no. Disappoints me, yes." Otto crossed the room, sank onto the sofa, and placed his duffel bag on the floor. "Maybe we should roll him over onto his back to increase the chances of him choking to death on his own vomit."
Shakira snort-laughed and shook her head. "He's not worth the prison time."
Otto shrugged. He took a slow look around and sighed. "At least we missed the party."
"Yeah, we definitely dodged the bullet. I'll never forget the last time we came home when the party was still in full swing -- and I've been trying, believe me."
"Oh, so have I. The sight of that guy walking around with no pants is forever burned into my memory."
"Yep, I was just thinking about that. One of the worst things that's ever happened to me -- and I'm including the day shrapnel ripped half of my face off."
Otto winced. He'd seen it firsthand and didn't need to be reminded of it. Fortunately, he was suddenly distracted by laughing and giggling from upstairs.
"Uh-oh," Shakira muttered. "Sounds like we got home at just the wrong time."
"Or the right time, depending on how you look at it."
"You can probably guess how I look at it." She plopped down beside him on the sofa. "The walls in this house could do with a little soundproofing."
Another burst of laughter came from upstairs and Otto chuckled. "Yeah, I can see how that'd get … distracting … after a while." He shrugged. "But they're having a good time, so …"
"Fair enough. They've been through a lot in the last few months. And it's nice to see Jack finally loosening up a little. He's a lot less angry than he used to be, thanks to Corona and Taura."
"That's true." Otto dug his laptop out of his bag and powered it up. "Though you wouldn't be able to tell, given how grouchy he was on the mission tonight."
"In a way, I can't blame him, since the confusion of the whole thing was probably frustrating for him. But on the other hand, at least nobody got shot at."
"True. And things seemed to turn out pretty well with Shadow and the guy she met."
A sudden roaring sneeze smashed the quiet, followed by the shriek of metal bending and twisting. Otto's heart pounded and Shakira launched off the sofa and spun toward the stairway. In the corner of Otto's eye, Dale jolted awake and stared blearily at him and Shakira.
Goddamn it, he's awake! Otto turned to stare into the kitchen. "Is that someone breaking in?"
Shakira called up the stairs. "Guys, is everything okay up there? That wasn't a good sound."
"Fine," Taura said after several more seconds passed. "We just, uh, had a bit of a mishap."
"No shit," Shakira said. "Sounded like someone trying to tear the roof off or something."
"Nothing as dramatic as that," Jack said. "Corona just … well … bent the bed in half." In a softer voice, he said to Taura, "Come on, let's take those cuffs off."
Handcuffs, eh? Otto headed for the stairs, glancing at Shakira on the way past her and wondering if the images going through her mind were as wild as those in his. He heard her following him up the stairs and found Jack and the girls stepping out of their room. Corona was zipping her vest up and her face turned a little darker as she followed Jack and Taura down the hall.
"We're gonna spend the night somewhere else, then order a new bed in the morning," Jack muttered.
Otto peeked into their room before Taura closed the door and caught a glimpse of the bed. He turned to Shakira and arched an eyebrow.
"The bed's shaped like a Frito."
Shakira burst into laughter as the trio hurried down the stairs. "What the hell were you doing in there?"
Here they come. Corona smiled at the pair of headlights approaching the outer gate, waited until they were close enough to be sure they actually belonged to the van Jack had borrowed from work, and then hopped off the edge of the roof. She grabbed the handrail outside the balcony, lowered herself to the ground, and jogged over to open the gate for him and Taura. She waved and motioned at the already-open warehouse door as they passed by, and she barely made out Taura hunched over in the driver's seat waving back. She closed and locked the gate while Taura eased the van into the warehouse, then darted inside and slid the door shut.
"Welcome home." Corona greeted each of them with a kiss.
"Thanks." Taura let out a slow breath and flicked her hands as if trying to restore circulation. "Driving still makes me nervous despite knowing how for several months."
"I've been driving for the better part of a decade and it still makes me tense," Jack said. "Dealing with traffic in this city sucks until you get onto the streets hardly anyone ever uses in areas like this one."
"That's why I haven't done much driving," Corona said as she headed up the stairs to the loft. "I know I should keep practicing so I don't get rusty, but it's just so much easier to fly wherever I need to go."
"Sometimes I'm envious of those wings." Jack followed her up to the loft, slipped his coat off, and tossed it onto the back of the sofa. "But I'll be happy enough if my car is ever put back together."
"I hate to say it, but it was pretty thoroughly destroyed when that old motel blew up." Taura took her coat off, clopped over to the bed, and sat on the edge. "Such a shame. That car had such style."
"Yeah." Jack took a quick breath. "Well, if it can't be rebuilt, maybe I can find one like it sooner or later. At least we were able to get a van that you and Taura can fit into without too much trouble."
"And it's an automatic." Taura chuckled. "I'm not sure I could get the hang of a manual transmission."
"It's not that hard to learn," Corona said, walking over to join her. "I didn't have too much trouble with it once I figured out how to start the car moving without stalling it over and over."
"Still glad I was unconscious during all that stuff." Jack tossed off a lopsided grin and pulled his T-shirt off.
"Yes, that part was a little frightening." Taura glanced at Corona and smirked. Corona snorted and whapped her with her wing.
"Just for that … well, that and sending the TickleBot after me …" Corona giggled, pounced on Taura, and pinned her to the bed. She slid her hands under Taura's shirt and tickled her sides, causing Taura to belt out a laugh and try to double over.
"Jack," Taura gasped and burst into laughter again. "Help!"
"Hey, you brought this on yourself."
"You were involved, too, so you're next." Corona giggled and doubled down on the tickling, moving up Taura's sides to her armpits and neck. Taura's laughter turned into a wheeze and Jack snort-laughed.
"I've never heard you make that sound before."
"I think she's gonna be making a lot of sounds you've never heard before." Corona winked at him, flopped back onto the mattress, pulled Taura down on top of her, and then hooked her legs around Taura's to prevent her from slipping away. She shoved her hands back under Taura's shirt and continued tickling, pausing for a moment to fondle her breasts, and then sliding her hands back to Taura's sides and belly.
Jack snickered and took a step back, but Taura lunged, grabbed his wrist, and pulled him onto the bed.
"Ah-hah!" Corona giggled again wrapped her wings around both of them, and went after Jack with her left hand and kept going on Taura with the other. Jack squealed and tried to get away from her.
"Speaking of sounds I've never heard before," Taura said. "That was bizarre coming from you."
He laughed again, then leaned past her and kissed Corona. She slowed the tickling, then stopped altogether when he began sliding his hand over her chest.
"C'mon," she breathed, "don't distract me when I'm just getting started."
"Well, what sounds more fun, tickling or …?" He moved his hand down between her legs.
"Oh … well, I guess you've talked me into it." She grinned.
Jack winked at Taura, kissed her, and glanced back to Corona.
"Just don't destroy this bed, too."
She burst out laughing and reached for his belt buckle. "No promises."
"Morning …"
Taura smiled at Jack and finished pouring a cup of coffee. She brought it over to him and said, "Good morning."
"Thanks." He accepted the cup, yawned, and sat on the edge of the bed for a moment. He finally lifted the mug, inhaled, and then took a sip. He blinked a few times, let out a slow breath, and glanced at the bed. "Nice to see this hasn't been bent into the shape of a potato chip."
"I'm sure it's only because there isn't anything handcuffs could be attached to." Taura laughed softly.
"Speaking of Madame Houdini, is she in the shower or …?"
"She got up early and took care of that stuff already. Now she's down in the warehouse, having a look through the latest deliveries." Taura chuckled. Not long after being coerced into that weird streaming reality show, she and the others had noticed viewers sending them stuff from time to time. One of them usually brought the boxes of crap to the former safe house the three of them had begun using to get away from the cameras.
"Oh, boy. I wonder what kinds of things she's found."
"Who knows. Probably a few more boxes of those big, purple dildo bats. For some reason, people just won't stop sending us those things."
"Probably my fault for complaining about it on camera." Jack sighed, took a long sip of his coffee, then stepped into the shower.
Taura finished her own coffee, dressed, and clopped down the stairs. "Corona?"
"Over here." Corona peeked over a crate and waved. "Look what I found."
As long as it's not another giant dildo … Taura braced herself and walked across the floor to the stack of boxes and crates they'd been piling up for the past few months. Corona took a pair of colorful boxes out of the crate, placed them on top of another, and opened one of them.
"Looks like an inflatable ball. Like, I dunno, a beach ball?" Corona shrugged, giggled, and took a plastic object out of the box. She glanced into the box and grinned. "Ah, it comes with a pump, too." She darted over to one of the workbenches along the near wall and plugged the pump into an outlet above the bench.
"What'd you find?" Jack asked from the stairs.
"Have a closer look." Corona giggled and started inflating the ball as Jack descended the stairs, still holding his coffee. He walked over and cocked his head as the ball began taking shape. Corona inspected the slowly inflating object and pointed at a hole built into the center. "Oh, I think it's supposed to fit around a person. I'll be right back!"
Giggling, she charged back up the stairs. Taura and Jack turned to each other, shrugged, and waited for her to come back. When Corona returned, she was wearing a set of cloth pieces lined with synthetic spider silk over her claws and knee- and elbow-spikes. She'd gotten them a long time ago to prevent accidental scratches and gouges while they had sex, but Taura presumed they were to protect the inflatable thingies, this time.
When the ball was fully inflated, Corona lifted her arms, wrapped her wings around herself to get them out of the way, and stuffed herself into the bouncy ball.
"Ugh … kinda tight, but … well, it works." The ball covered the top half of her body, protecting her head, and her arms were folded up in front of her so she could grip the inner handles with her hands. "Three's another one over there. One of you try it on."
Then she got a running start, jumped, and landed facedown. The ball bounced her almost back upright, then she toppled over and bounced again, giggling the whole time.
"Wheeehehehehehe!"
Jack shook his head, laughed, and then shrugged. "Sure, I'll give it a try."
Taura took her phone out, aimed it at them, and started recording a video. "For our viewers."
Corona giggled again and waited for Jack to inflate the other ball. Once it was fully inflated, he squeezed into it and Taura laughed and tried to hold her phone steady.
"Those make you look like aliens or something. Like, multicolored, round, bulbous things with legs sticking out the bottom."
"Heh." Jack flung himself forward, bounced, and rolled over. He laughed and struggled to get his feet under him. He finally propped himself up, Taura caught a glimpse of his distorted grin through layers of plastic, and he ran at Corona and bounced off her. She staggered and giggled as Jack rolled across the floor.
"Here's an idea," Taura said. "Both of you get a running start at each other and see what happens."
Corona snickered, trotted over to the rear wall, and waited. Jack jogged over to the door and Taura hurried to find a spot in the middle and pointed at an area in front of her camera.
"Try to meet right about there. Oh, Jack, are you recording this with your eyes?"
"Already started. The POV shots are gonna be fun."
"Nice. Okay, ready?"
"Yep," Jack said.
"Yeah." Corona giggled again.
"And … go!" Taura raised her left hand and brought it down quickly, then rushed to hold the phone steady.
Corona and Jack charged at each other, laughing and belting out a mock battle cry. They collided more or less in front of the camera and Corona barely budged, but Jack launched back across the room with a surprised yelp. Both feet left the ground and he stayed in the air for several seconds before landing a good twenty feet away. He bounced back into the air and traveled another couple of yards before coming down again and then going into a smaller bounce.
I'll have to add some "boing" sound effects to this when I edit it. Taura shook her head and laughed as Jack finally reached the door and bumped into it.
"You okay?"
"That was awesome!" Jack managed to get back on his feet. "Best amusement park ride ever."
"Wanna go again?" Corona asked.
"Yeah!"
"Okay, how about this time you stand in the middle and let Corona run into you?"
"Cool." Jack ran to the center of the floor, turned to Taura, and pretended to look terrified.
"Aw, now I feel bad about suggesting that."
"I'm only kidding." Jack grinned, turned to face Corona, and laughed. "Bring it!"
"Here I come!" Corona sprinted from the back wall and plowed into him. Once again, his feet left the floor and he shot through the air, bounced like a rock skipping across a lake, and finally came to rest upside-down. His laughter turned into grunts as his legs kicked around but couldn't tip him back upright.
"Can one of you roll me back over before I swallow my tongue?"
Chuckling, Taura ran over to him, holding the phone in one hand and giving his ankle a tug. At the same time, Corona stood on one foot and used the other to push on the ball. His upright legs toppled over and he came up on his knees and laughed his ass off.
"Hey, Taura, open the back door. I wanna try something."
"Okay." She jogged over to the door, unlocked it, turned the knob, and tugged. It stuck for a split-second, then opened with a loud, grinding creak. "Here ya go."
"I'm free! I'm free!" Jack ran full-speed at the doorway and jumped through it -- and the ball wedged in the doorframe and left his feet dangling a few inches above the ground.
The sight made Taura lose it completely and she laughed so hard she had to brace her hands on her knees to stay upright.
"I'll save you," Corona said once she'd stopped giggling enough to catch her breath. She ran full-steam ahead, rammed into Jack, and popped him out of the doorway like a cork. Taura darted to the right, aimed the camera, and managed to catch him bouncing and rolling over the gravel lot outside. Corona did a one-eighty and pranced away, leaving Taura doubled over in laughter again.
Once she could breathe again, she saved the raw video and sent it to her computer. "This is funny enough as it is, but once I add some sound effects, it'll be hilarious. Now, though, we probably should have breakfast and head back to the bunker."
"Hah." Corona wriggled out of her ball and grinned. "Maybe we should let Otto and Shakira play with these. Imagine the look on Machiko's face if she walked into the room and found them goofing around with these things."
"Oh, boy." Taura chuckled.
Jack managed to wiggle back through the door, extracted himself from the ball, and picked up the coffee held left on the bench. He aimed a goofy grin at her and Corona and let out a long breath.
"Professionals at work."