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Ch 1: Jack Daniels (JD) on Guard Dogs

Okay... so if it were just anyone asking me to talk about this I'd tell em to fuck off, but since it was Jason, you're gonna get an earful. Considering everything going on right now in the media and on the news and in politics I guess Jason thinks it'd be a good idea for people to get the real story about Burb Dogs. See... we're not some weird sex-kink subculture... I mean, I guess SOME Burb Dogs and Leashers are after that sorta thing, but that isn't the ONLY reason REAL Burb Dogs look for a human partner.

See, in my case I spent most of my life before meeting Jason wandering around and getting into trouble. I didn't really have any goals to shoot for or reasons to do anything so I kinda just did everything... and there's plenty of things out there that well-adjusted humans and Dogs don't do. I never got into drugs, but I think that's mostly because I found Jason first.

The thing about Guard Dogs is that we tend to think for ourselves... and most of us do it real often, and usually don't give a damn about what others have to say even if they know better. I know what you're thinkin-- that sounds just like a Bad Dog, and I'd say "Shut the fuck up, I'm not done explaining.", and then I'd continue explaining... which is what I'm gonna do, so shut the fuck up.

The biggest difference between Guard Dogs and Bad Dogs is that Bad Dogs look for a human to use and abuse while Guard Dogs look for humans that make us feel whole. Usually, like in my case, it's a human who tends to see through the shit I pull, and I DO pull a lot of shit. He helps keep me focused and points out when I'm about to do something stupid... and I DO tend to do a lot of stupid things. Humans to us are something we can rally behind... something that gives us meaning and provides us a way to interact with the world in a way other than being destructive.

It isn't a one-way relationship either... most Guard Dogs I know tend to help their Leashers just as much as they help us. Just take Jason for example: he's always at his best when he's helping someone out... whether it's the thousands of faceless Burb Dogs and Leashers trying to find their way in the world, or me when I'm tryin to keep my temper in check cuz some fuckin cabby doesn't like a 10% tip. You got us there on TIME, jerk-off... if you want 20% you gotta wow me.

Anyway, most Leashers for Guard Dogs tend to have just as much personality and will as we do-- after all, what other way are they gonna get a fair say in things? That isn't to say that Leashers and Guard Dogs butt heads ALL the time, but I think it's fair to say that out of all the Burb Dog and Leasher combos, Guard Dogs and their humans are the ones that 'have words' most often. That's probably the coolest thing about me and Jay though... we're both bull-headed mother-fuckers, but we know that we're only doing it because we care... and, hell, he's one smart human, so the least I can do is occasionally pay attention, right?

So... Bad Dogs do the whole human-relationship thing because they like the control over humans, and Guard Dogs find a Leasher because they help provide us with a little guidance while also letting us have our own way. I guess it's a tightrope relationship where you lean any one way too far and everything falls apart, but I think that's one of the reasons I like it so much-- you KNOW that you gotta keep at it to make it work so nobody starts getting too comfy and stops trying. I know for sure that Jason does a REALLY good job of keeping things interesting... if you know what I mean... heh heh.

Damn, you know, I was tryin' to get through this without going back to the sex topic, but in the end I guess it's part of it for enough of us that it's something we SHOULD talk about. I mean, if I avoid it then it only calls attention to it, or something like that, right? So we're covering it... because it'll help round out the discussion, and not just because it's fuckin' hot... which it is, I mean, but it's also an important part of things.

So... from what I've learned about some other Burb Dog friends I've met is that, just like with other people, no two Burb Dogs are exactly alike in what they want... and that's true even in the more specific groupings like us Guard Dogs... I mean... take for instance this one Guard Dog I know... he likes to make his human woman do all the work while he lays on his back, while I like a more paws-on approach that lets me be in control. This one Guard Dog bitch I know goes one step further and gets so rough it makes her human almost cry... but he likes it-- hell, he ASKS for it... which is why she's a Guard Dog and not a Bad Dog.

I guess what I'm sayin is that most Burb Dogs take an active roll when it comes to the fun-but-messy stuff, and whether that's actively making their human service em, or actively fucking their Leasher's brains out, it's a very forward decision... not many Guard Dogs play things half way. And don't say that's because most Guard Dogs are guys, because that's just some shitty rumor. Last I heard, I think it was somewhere around 60/40, so, yea, there are more guy Guard Dogs than bitches, but it's not as big a difference as some people'll make you think.

And it's also a rumor that all Guard Dogs take the lead in the bedroom-- like I said, we do take an active role in decision making as to who does what, but even I have to admit it can be a fuckin mind-blowing experience to let your human take the lead now and again... if you're a Guard Dog and haven't let your human have free reign in that area, maybe you should consider giving it try. Course, if you're a Guard Dog that doesn't do that kinda thing with your Leasher, well, that's fine too.

So that's all I'm gonna say about sex, so for any of you sixteen year old pups out there who were looking for a soft porn opportunity to shine-your-stick, go turn on some HBO or some shit... this is serious stuff. Enough people seem to think that bein a Burb Dog is all about sex, so the last thing we need are a bunch of horny pillow-fuckers getting caught by their parents feelin' up a human doll. Now that we got that over, I think the most important thing to talk about is something J really wanted me to cover: what does being a Guard Dog mean?

There's no real one answer for any Dog out there what it means to be a Guard Dog. To me, it means standing between Jason and any mother fucker stupid enough to want to cause a problem. It means being there for him when he needs me... not just to protect him, but to just be there. My Leasher is more than just a human I'm a Guard Dog for-- he's the guy who I want to live with cuz nobody else out there gets me like he does. He's the guy who knows me better than anyone else and the only person who always seems to make sense. Jason makes me want to be a better Dog, and that's something that nobody else ever managed to do. Nobody else gives me those butterfly-stomach feelings either... but I can forgive him for those anyway.

From what I've heard from other Guard Dogs, not all of them start out having feelings for their Leashers in the way I did, but most end up feeling something after awhile. A Boxer friend of mine ended up with her Leasher because they both worked at the same warehouse... her Leasher was often the butt of jokes and some pretty fuckin bad practical jokes from what I hear, so she stepped in and put a stop to it because she didn't like seeing someone get picked on. Turns out she was a pretty small pup and got picked on often enough that she didn't have a stomach to see someone else bein fucked with.

In her case, her future Leasher didn't really want her help at first cuz I guess he thought she was just teasing him in her own way but, eventually, he got the idea, and gave her a lot of self worth. From what I hear it's not all that uncommon for a Guard Dog to step in and stop things like that without there ever being a connection of any kind, and that's how it all started, but the fact that he continued spending time with her even after the hostile work place issues stopped just helped things grow from there. Once she opened up to him, that's when they really started their relationship.

So, what I'm saying, I guess, is that Guard-Dog relationships aren't a one-way street. The one thing most Guard Dogs are more protective of than their Leasher is their own privacy. As a whole, most of us tend to be really closed off when it comes to things in our lives that bother us. I don't mean things like the asshole in line that wants to pay for a pack of gum with a check, or the numb-nuts in the movie theater that HAS TO take his phone call... I mean the things that REALLY affect us, like losing a parent, or bein picked on when you're young, or somethin like that. Those kinds of things are what we keep bottled up inside and don't share. At all. Period. Ever.

Usually though, our Leasher, for one reason or another, is the only person we're comfortable enough around to be honest and let that stuff come out. I remember when I first realized just how important Jason was to me... when he started talking to me like I was somebody and not the nobody I thought everyone thought I was. Lemme tell ya... THAT kind of connection is special. That kind of freedom to understand and be understood is one big fucking release... in fact, THAT kind of release is just as powerful as any of that sex stuff people think is what we focus on... which kicks ass, yea, but it's nothing compared to bein with someone that really, REALLY gets ya.

So that's really what I have to say about Guard Dogs. More than any of the other Burb Dogs we want to find a human that can make us feel needed without being dependent on us. We want someone who can be a partner... not a liability, and not a controller. So, if you think you might be a Guard Dog, think about why you're together and what you like the most about your partner. If it's because they 'get' you then that's a start. If they make you feel wanted but not demanded, needed but not smothered, and understood but not fucked-up, then chances are you might be a Guard Dog. It means you'll often be misunderstood, and for good reason too, because most assholes out there are too thick to bother learning just how fucking incredible you are.

On the other paw, if you're a Leasher and your Burb Dog causes almost as much trouble as he or she prevents, well, that could just be because they're a fuck-up. But if they make you feel loved and protected, appreciated but not obsessed-over, and safe but not locked-up, then you might have a Guard-Dog on your hands. If that's the case, then you're probably one hell of a human, because we don't just choose anyone as our Leasher. It means that you'll spend a HELL of a lot of time cleaning up our messes... and I mean that literally and the other way too-- you know... like when we don't fit well in black tie parties, or complain to the parents who won't shut their god damn baby up in the airplane. Come on... we paid for our tickets too and you don't hear ME screaming at the top of my lungs... Jesus, have some consideration, breeders.

I guess what I mean to say is that Guard Dogs are storm clouds with silver linings. According to Jason there's nothing he can think of that has been more worthwhile than taking the time to get to know me. I can't argue that point because there's no doubt in MY mind that he fuckin saved my life. I'm the Dog I am today because he's had a hand in my life and helped steer me in a better direction than I would have drifted on my own so, like I said, relationships between Guard Dogs and their Leashers is a lot of give and take.

You know... even though most of us realize that our human has as much an affect on us as we do on them plenty of Guard Dogs don't like thinking of their humans as Leashers... not me though. As far as I'm concerned, I'm alive today because of the fact that he's always helped by giving me a guiding tug to keep me out of the streets. Damn... almost makes me wonder who's really the one doing the guarding. Don't get on my case about it either though-- I wouldn't want my Jason any other way.